#batfamily spicy
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
"They thought I wouldn't figure it out... that's hilarious," Babs said, typing.
The elevator door to Barbara, also known as the Oracle's hideout slid open. Barbara turned, puzzled about who might be dropping by, but her confusion quickly melted into a smile upon recognizing a familiar face.
Barbara (sweet tone): Hey, Rose!
Rose Wilson walked confidently toward Barbara, a big grin on her face.
Rose: Hi there! How’ve you been?
Barbara (relaxed): Oh, you know, the usual. Still in this wheelchair, got myself a new pair of glasses, and I even snagged a free drink at the local café.
Rose chuckled lightly.
Rose: That’s great to hear. Sorry to crash the party, but Red Hood and I are looking to team up for a… mission. We’ll be traveling from Gotham and will be out of town for a few days.
Barbara (adjusting her glasses): Oh, what’s the mission about?
Rose: We’re tracking a cargo ship loaded with cocaine and looking to take down a mob boss. We’ll be staying at our usual hotel for these ops—you know, the one where it’s cheap!
Barbara (suspicious): Mm-hm…
Barbara tapped her chin thoughtfully while glancing at her computer. Rose shifted her gaze nervously.
Barbara (taking a breath): All right, I’ve sent Bruce an email about you two teaming up. He’ll grumble, but I’ve got your back.
Rose: That’s fantastic! You’re the best! We leave tonight and should be back in four days.
Barbara: Wow, four days… staying in the same room, sharing a bed?
Rose: Most likely; the hotel offers better rates for one-bed rooms, but trust me, we’re not planning anything sexual. This is strictly a drug bust.
Barbara nodded, her expression inscrutable.
Barbara: Got it. Stay safe and don’t forget to bring me back a keychain.
As Rose made her way back to the elevator, Barbara turned her attention back to her computer, a smirk forming on her lips.
Barbara: Just remember, don’t be rough with Jason, and use protection.
Rose: I made sure to pack—
Rose froze, her cheeks flushing pink as she recognized Barbara's implication.
Rose: Um… what kind of protection are you talking about?
Barbara held up two fingers.
Barbara: Both kinds. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.
Rose sighed in relief.
Rose: Thanks! Jason sent me up here because he was worried you might see through his lies. Is my poker face really that bad?
Barbara: Nah, not at all. I can just tell. You both look happy together, and I’m all for a happy relationship. And don't worry, Bruce has no clue so you guys can keep bonking in private.
Barbara laughed making Rose roll her eyes with a smile.
Rose waved goodbye to the hero then stepped into the elevator. As the elevator descended, she leaned back against the wall, silent for a moment, then broke into laughter while shaking her head.
Rose: I think I’m really going to like his family.
#batfamily#jason todd and rose wilson#jason x rose#jason todd#batfamily chronicles#batfamily shenanigans#batfamily spicy#batbros#batman#bruce wayne#barbara gordon is best batgirl#barbara and jason#barbara gordon#Barbara will protect her brothers#batfam#batfam headcanons#batgirl#batfamily feels#batfam shenanigans#batfamily wholesome#they’ve been growing on me#i wish their relationship was more canon in the comics#jayrose#ambrose wip#jayrose ship#batfamily fic#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily comedy#headcanon batfamily#flash fiction
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it would be fun if Dick and Jason had a podcast called Orphaned or something. Same vibes as The Basement Yard, but with more guests. Mostly their family. Tim is the most frequent, followed by Steph, then Bruce.
I like them bickering and being brothers on camera. And Bruce is there surprisingly often just cause he likes to see and talk to his boys. Dick and Jay both joke that they only have him on to rake in the views, but genuinely like the talks they have. It even translates into off camera stuff because Bruce realizes how easy it is to talk about mundane stuff and not about cases.
One scene I can’t get out of my head is them reminiscing about the first time they met.
Dick: ugh, you pissed me off so much…
Jason: wha- How?? I was literally eight! What did I do??
Dick: You just waltzed right in and got adopted while I was still just a fucking ward!!
Jason: How is that my fault?? I didn’t force Bruce to adopt me!
Dick: I know that now! It just pissed me off at the time, I was still just a teenager!
Jason: You’re adopted now though, right.
Dick: Yeah… but sometimes I wish I wasn’t
Jason: Why? Because this family is fucking bonkers?
Dick: No because I could hold that over Bruce’s head for so long.
Jason: Oh yeah, you could milk that.
Dick: I’d milk it so hard.
#shut up spicy#batman#dc comics#batman comics#batfam#dc#batfamily#batman dc#jason todd#redhood#dick grayson#richard grayson#nightwing#Robin#tim drake#red Robin#Bruce Wayne#bruce wayne is a good dad
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Bruce is the only member of the batfam that has no tolerance for spice. Dick grew up in a travelling circus, he has had food from all over the world. Jason grew up on the street, he ate what he could get. Tim's parents went all around the world, and had food and recipes from all around the world, whenever they were home Janet would make exotic meals. Damian grew up with Talia, he grew up on middle eastern food. But Bruce? He grew up on Alfred's British ass cooking, he thinks pepper has 'a little kick'.
#needless to say the kids find this hilarious#also. Dick would make spicy food for them all#Dick and Jason would have competitions for who can eat more spice#Dick won everytime#Some may say that Tim also has no spice tolerance... and they may be right... But I think its funnier if its just Bruce#I would add cass but idk her well enough#btw that pepper comment is something my dad has actually said#tim drake#batfam#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#damian wayne#batfamily#batbros#batgang#batboys#dcu#dc#should I add their hero names?#ehhhhh#why not#batman#nightwing#red hood#red robin#robin
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
Got stressed so heres my new comic collection layout!
The drawers are also packed full, and I have an origami Bat mask im working on. The doll is meant Tim but its still a WIP, and the lil coffin
#comic collection#my beloved#batfamily#batman#I have other heroes#but 99% is gotham based#working on more display stuff tho#but for now- this works#batfam#sunny rambles#comics#dc comics#ONLY DC IN THIS HOUSEHOLD#and maybe an indie#if feelin spicy
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Headcanons for the Spice Tolerance of various members and associates of the batfamily.
DICK: He isn't a wimp, but also not a spicy fan. Give him sweet any day. He'll eat the hot sauce from your local mexican restaurant but will avoid spicy challenges at all costs. Has been burned by Jason's food more than once. Does have a liking for sour candy.
BARBARA: Not terrible, but very much not her thing. She likes sour and occasionally bitter. She will not eat your hot sauce. Handles it much better than some, but would rather not purposefully eat pain, thank you very much.
JASON: Spice King. There is almost no food he will not try. Had a high spicy tolerance before he died, after the pit and his world travels, nothing phases him. He loves Alfred's cooking, and it will always be his comfort food, but his palette is way more adventurous. He will only tone his cooking down for Alfred and Barabara. If anyone else wants to eat his food, they can shut up and deal. He doesn't have to feed them.
I don't really have an opinion on Helena. Probably similar to Dick's.
TIM: The biggest wimp to ever wimp. His taste buds are mostly destroyed, so if you feed him spicy food, he won't notice for the first five minutes. Until he realizes his mouth is on fire and is finally distracted from whatever he is working on. The burning will linger for the rest of the day, and he won't talk to the person responsible for a week. He used to gulp water until Steph told him that makes it worse, and he should use milk instead. He figured coffee has enough milk content. Both Damian and Jason have used this against him.
STEPHANIE: Suprisingly impressive. She can nearly match Damian, and no one but Cass can tell she's dying inside towards the end of the hot sauce challenge. She once attempted to eat Jason's spiciest dish while looking him dead on before bailing to the bathroom about six seconds in. Jason never told her it wasn't quite the spicest dish he makes.
CASSANDRA: She doesn't like spicy food and is fully okay with that. Sure, she can tolerate it, but as Barbara said, why would she willingly eat pain? Jason doesn't mind because it is Cass, and she's really chill about it. He'll give her the mild version he makes for Alfred and Babs.
DAMIAN: Obviously, he can handle spicy food, how dare you insult his constitution, plebian. Nothing in the U.S. is going to trip him up, especially nothing in New Jersey, but there are spices he would rather not suffer through, though he will never admit to such a weakness.
KATE: Enjoys spicy food, but European level spicy. She can handle anything found in Italy, no problem, but Indian becomes a problem.
ALFRED: He is English. No, he doesn't like spicy food. He will never like spicy food. This is okay, we still love him.
BRUCE: It is a very good thing he has a nearly perfect poker face because Talia would never have married such a wimp. Feed the white boys (Tim and Bruce), a pepper, and watch Ra's al ghul loose all interest. That's my solution. Cannot handle the slightest spice. The grocery store mild salsa is a danger to him. Will lie to your face about it. Lives in fear of his family discovering this weakness.
#Batfamily#batfam#spicy#batfam headcanons#dick grayson#nightwing#robin#jason todd#barbara gordan#oracle#batgirl#red hood#LOA#Red Robin#tim drake#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian wayne al ghul#spoiler#stephanie brown#orphan#black bat#cassandra cain#cassandra wayne#bruce wayne#batman#alfred pennyworth#kate kane#batwoman
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jason: Any toy can be a sex toy if you’re brave enough
Everyone else: What the fuck?
Y/N: ;) 😏😏
115 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tim Drake body count
Supernatural AUs in the batfamily are a given with it’s crazy world, but hear me out for a second there.
Tim Drake as Vampire. That neighbour kid that always seemed a bit too pale and small, stares into your soul and gives you the most horrific info dumps. That boy can’t pick up on normal social cues to save his life, but with all the weirdness and creepy unease feeling he brings up in people he is still kind of adorable.
A boy that is welcomed by the night and stalks after the bats because they feel the closest he’s ever had to family, so he daydreams of a future while the shadows keep him safe. Who then needs to hide away who he is from those he considers family all because they would see him as a monster (as he believes). The heart of his that will break over and over again as he finds himself resenting the creature that he is. So he hides all of it to the best of his abilities, hides all that makes Tim ‘Tim’.
Years later, run away from home and caught in the grasps of Ra’s al Ghul and with no blood given to him to keep stable. What if Tim Drake is so deprived of what keeps him alive that he goes to drastic measures and in the process of that he frees Tam at the price of so many killed. Tam who is afraid of him when she sees him again with that hunger in his eyes and hands so cold they send shivers down her back when he drags her away.
Tam and Ra’s al Ghul who are the only ones that see the true extent of what Tim is able to do and find no guilt in his facial expressions. The sight of blood instead seems to excite him, as if a thrill has overcome him.
People always say that Jason is the bloodthirsty son, but Jason at least has the mindset of Justice behind the punishments. Tim does it to survive and the thrill of it even when it is unnecessary to go to such lengths. That arguably makes Tim the true bloodthirsty brother. After starving for so long he takes some control back again over himself, but once you went on a killing spree there is no going back to playing perfect son.
He brings Bruce back, but the Tim that comes back isn’t quite the same anymore. The creepy unease has come back and when you now look into these eyes, they are all aware that there is something lurking beyond it and ready to launch at any given moment. People no longer think of him as adorable.
#tim drake#ra's al ghul#red robin 2009#Tim drake as a Vampire#that bad boy can fit so much trauma in him#Tim: I did an oopsie daisy#Tim's questionable body count#not the spicy kind#is he a vampire or just autistic af who knows#batfamily#dark tim
135 notes
·
View notes
Text
So Batfamily fandom assemble I need you all to be real with me. I haven't been following the comics of the mainline family at all since 2021. Is Gotham Wars actually worth it to pick up because the art alone is amazing, especially as of late. However I've been seeing a lot of drama boiling from the Jason Todd/Selina Kyle Catwoman sides of the fandom. I almost don't want to know if it's worth getting invested in the story for that alone but I need to know honestly opinions.
#Or just lie to me be spicy i'm stoned and i want to see what peoples brain thoughts look like#jason todd#red hood#Bruce wayne#batman#selina kyle#catwoman#batfamily#batfam
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
scrolling through the batman tag on tumblr like:
post on why batman is NOT abusive and has been mischaracterized by bad writers
funny fan comic!
post on why batman definitely IS abusive and it cannot be ignored
angsty fan comic!
post on why batman has been written as abusive but should not be written that way
au where [insert funny scenario]!
post on why IF YOU HAVEN’T READ EVERY SINGLE COMIC YOU ARE A HEATHEN AND A BAD PERSON
batc*st
post on why it’s ok to not have read comics
batfam as vines!
post written by someone who has never read a single comic in their life
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Everyone in the batfamily can handle spice except for, and hear me out on this, Alfred Pennyworth.
Bruce travelled Asia for years with Minhkhoa Khan. There is no way that man cannot handle his spice, he would've never lived it down.
Dick grew up in a circus with a whole variety of cultural foods and he's romani. He can definitely down insane amounts of spice without flinching.
Jason couldn't at first, because of his weak system from living in poverty / on the streets, but now? He's just...like that. He just can. No one knows how. It was probably the lazarus pit tbh, so his hereditary mexican taste buds are shining through now.
Tim taught himself how to withstand spice just out of spite. He refused to be the only person to be unable to tolerate it. Also, his team and him regularly have competitions on who can eat the spiciest food.
It was part of Cass's training to be able to eat carolina reapers without a reaction so her taste buds are basically immune to any and all spice by this point.
Damian is a middle eastern boy who grew up in the LoA. That's all that needs to be said there I think.
Duke and Steph can also tolerate spicy food. Steph because she's also just like that™. She will either eat the sweet thing around or the spiciest thing around and there's no in between ever. Duke can't tolerate extreme levels of spice but he's definitely grown up eating African dishes made by his parents so he can eat foods with chilli.
Alfred though. He's an old (😓), english, white man who's lived most of his life inside a manor. I believe he just flat out refuses to eat anything with chillies in it and makes a separate dish for himself. Also, I think it'd be funny if everyone was eating the hottest, spiciest, throat burning meal, and he was just sitting there with his cup of tea and jacket potato.
#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#duke thomas#cassandra wayne#stephanie brown#alfred pennyworth#romani dick grayson#mexican jason todd#4sh-n4
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
SPIDEY
ii. what's up danger?
SYNOPSIS: "Alright, let's do this one last time. My name is Y/N Kyle. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, And I've been the one and only Spidey in Gotham. I’m pretty sure you know the rest." PAIRING: Older! Damian Wayne/Fem! Reader TAGS: Established relationship, Mild sexual jokes, Making out AO3: yenwayne SERIES LINK: gotham's only spidey
<- PREVIOUS | NEXT ->
༻⊰───⋅
PREVIEW. Damian’s voice grew louder, closer. “If you don’t give me my phone back right now, I will—”
Before he could finish, the screen shifted again. The phone wobbled as Damian wrestled for it and Tim tried to pull it back. In the background, Jason’s voice cut through with a snarky tone. “No way she’s actually real. I thought she was just a figment of his imagination.”
“Stop! Unhand it! None of you insipid fools have any concept of how to behave with respect!"
Jason managed to snatch the phone away with a triumphant smirk, his eyes narrowing as he took you in. Among Damian's brothers, he was the one you saw the least. You wouldn't be surprised if he didn't remember you.
“Hey, I'm Jason. Don't freak out, but I think he’s cheating on you.”
Damian’s voice immediately rose in alarm, “I am not! Todd!”
Jason waved a hand dismissively, clearly enjoying himself. “Pretty sure I saw him with some redhead just last week—”
In the background, you could hear the clink of Damian’s katanas being unsheathed. The phone jerked as the struggle intensified, Tim’s voice chiming in with panic. “Alright, alright! Don't stab him! Here’s your phone back.”
༻⊰───⋅
THERE WAS A SHARP CREEK AS THE METAL door was forced open, and you coughed as a cloud of dust emerged. Selina chuckled softly, her silhouette framed by the dim light filtering through the grimy windows. She guided you into the warehouse, her steps echoing in the vast, empty space.
"One of my safehouses," she explained, shutting the door behind you both. "Secluded, off the grid."
Old crates and metal shelving units lined the walls, and a few scattered tools and broken machinery hinted at its previous use. Selina flicked a switch, and a single, flickering bulb cast a weak, yellow glow over the room.
"We can lay low here for a while. This can be your personal hideout," she said, moving to clear a dusty table. "No one knows about this place, not even Batman."
You hummed in response, your gaze sweeping over the vast, dusty warehouse. The once grand space had fallen into neglect, the floor littered with debris and the windows clouded with grime. The overhead lights flickered sporadically, casting long, wavering shadows that danced across the walls.
Selina, leaning against a stack of forgotten crates, let you roam for a while. After a moment, she pushed herself away from the crates and approached you, her footsteps muffled by the thick layer of dust on the floor.
Her hand landed on your shoulder with a firm grip, gently guiding you to the side. "Come on," she said, her voice carrying a hint of excitement. "I want to see something."
You followed her through the cluttered space, weaving between old barrels and rusting equipment until you reached a clearing. Here, the walls were less covered by debris. The area was bathed in a slant of sunlight streaming through a dirty skylight, illuminating the dust motes that floated lazily in the air.
Selina stopped and turned to face you, pointing to a relatively wide stretch of wall that loomed in the dim light of the warehouse. "Show me what you can do. Use those hands again."
"Sure," you replied with a nod, trying to get rid of any nerves with a shake of your hands. "Seems easy enough."
You approached the wall, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. Placing your hand on the cold, rough surface, your palm stuck to the wall, and you lifted your other hand, repeating the motion. Soon, all of your limbs were adhered to the surface, and you began to climb. Your movements were initially hesitant, but as you gained confidence, you moved more fluidly, scaling the wall with ease. You hung from the ceiling with your hand, smiling down at Selina.
Selina watched you with a glint of pride in her eyes, clapping slowly.
"Not bad," she called up to you, her tone approving. "Now, let's see if you can get down."
You took a deep breath, preparing to jump. Remembering the superhero landing techniques you’d seen on TV, you leapt from the ceiling and aimed to land gracefully on your knees. The impact, however, was harsher than you anticipated.
You hit the ground with a jarring thud, your knees slamming into the floor with a painful smack. The sudden shock radiated up your legs, sending a sting of pain through your body. You let out a soft yelp as you crumpled, sitting on the floor and clutching your knees.
“Owowow,” you muttered, grimacing as you rubbed your knees in a weak attempt to soothe the ache. “Okay, superhero landings: they look badass but they definitely don’t feel badass.”
Selina's snort was barely contained as she watched you, a smirk tugging at her lips. "You know, in real life, landing like that is a good way to hurt yourself," she said. "Okay. Lesson number one. Do not put all the weight on your knees or legs when you land. Instead, roll with the fall and distribute the force. I promise, your knees will thank you."
With that, Selina moved to demonstrate. She climbed onto a low shelf and stood poised on the edge, her posture perfect. With a flourish, she leapt down, her landing smooth and controlled. She rolled effortlessly and ended up in a crouch, looking like she was ready to pounce.
"See?" she said, dusting herself off and grinning at you. "The superhero landing is overrated. In the real world, you don’t want to end up with knees that sound like they’ve been used as a drum kit."
You eyed her with a glare, still hunched over on the floor. "Okay, okay. I get it. So, no superhero landings unless I want to spend the next few days in agony."
Selina gave you an approving nod. "Exactly. Now let’s see if you can do it without making me laugh."
"Alright, I’ll give it another shot. But if I end up rolling into a pile of broken crates, it’s all on you."
༻⊰───⋅
The next few days were a whirlwind of training under Selina’s watchful eye. Her approach was relentless yet patient. She pushed you to the brink of exhaustion but never beyond your limits, ensuring that every movement was honed to perfection.
The first segment of your training focused on parkour, a basic skill for navigating the urban landscape of Gotham. The first few days began with stretches and warm-ups before diving into rolls, jumps, and twists. Unlike Selina, whose movements were fluid and graceful, your style was more rough-hewn and spiderlike—less sleek than cat-like, but uniquely scrappy and effective. The city became your playground, and with each leap and bound, you grew more adept at maneuvering through it.
Once you had started to get the hang of parkour, the focus shifted to flexibility training. Your days were packed with yoga, and gymnastics exercises. Yoga quickly became a ritual, a quiet counterpoint to the intensity of your other workouts. Gymnastics was a thrill, full of dynamic moves that felt as if they belonged in a circus. The flashy routines might not always seem practical, but they certainly made you feel like you could be the next Robin.
The next focus was on web practice. Selina couldn't help much in that department, so you took to practicing on your own by swinging between buildings. Initially, the height had you clutching the sides of buildings like a nervous cat. But as you became more comfortable, swinging through the air started to feel natural—like you were born to do it.
To round out the training, Selina introduced you to one last segment: hand-to-hand combat. Given your enhanced strength and agility, she decided to focus on bare-knuckle boxing.
You quickly discovered that boxing with bare knuckles was far more complicated than it looked on TV. Early on, your punches, fueled by your enhanced strength, were more like wrecking balls than precise strikes. You landed blows with such force that the floors and walls ended up with cracks and holes. One training session saw you accidentally punching the training bag out a window. In another one, you got so wrapped up in perfecting a combo that you accidentally swung around and clocked yourself in the face.
The bruise wasn't pretty but it made you realize you needed to control your strength. If you didn’t, the risk of accidentally causing a death was very real.
Despite the frequent bruises and sore muscles, you could feel your progress with each passing day. The aches were a small price to pay for the improvement in your skills.
Right now, you were in your bedroom, it was four in the afternoon, and according to your new training schedule, it was time for yoga. No surprise—Selina had insisted that flexibility was just as crucial as strength and agility. You found yourself in mid-crow pose, balancing on your hands with your knees resting on your upper arms. A YouTube video played on your laptop on the floor, the instructor’s calming voice offering tips as you tried to maintain your balance.
“Focus on your breath,” the instructor advised. “Keep your core engaged and your gaze forward.”
You exhaled slowly, maintaining your balance effortlessly in the pose. Just as you were settling into the routine, your laptop rang with a FaceTime request. Shifting your weight to one hand, you answered the call with a smile, putting the video in full screen with your free hand.
Damian’s face appeared on the screen, his eyes widening in surprise as he took in the sight of you. He was lounging in bed, his hair tousled, and dressed in a fitted black shirt that accentuated his physique.
“Habibti. Are you... doing yoga?” he asked, a slight red tint on his ears
You tried not to grin too widely as you held the pose. “Yeah, believe it or not. It’s part of my new training routine.”
Damian’s eyebrows shot up, clearly surprised. His eyes briefly traced over the tensed-up muscle of your arms, a hint of admiration flickering in his gaze. “Training, you say? I wasn’t aware you had an interest in such pursuits.”
You smirked, stretching out your legs with ease. Damian’s eyes traced over the curve of your back, lingering for a moment longer than necessary. “Well, Selina's been pushing me to get better. Uh... self-defense and all. It’s been intense, but I’m actually enjoying it.”
You followed up with a few air push-ups, grunting slightly as you bent your arms down. The effort seemed to spur him on, more than you expected. Damian’s cheeks flushed deeply, and he hastily raised his phone's camera to the ceiling, trying to hide his flustered expression.
He had always admired strength and discipline, qualities he held in high regard for himself and others. Seeing you, someone he deeply cared for, excel and push your limits in a way he hadn’t expected stirred a mix of admiration and something more heated.
Damian cleared his throat and adjusted his position, attempting to appear casual as he lowered the camera back down. “Well, I must admit, I’m rather impressed. I didn’t expect you to exhibit such dedication.”
You completed your set of air push-ups and settled back on your heels, a satisfied grin lighting up your face. “Thank you. It’s been challenging, but I’m making progress. Mom’s a tough coach, but her methods are effective.”
Damian’s gaze softened as he watched you ruffle your damp hair with a towel. The warm, golden light of the setting sun bathed your face in a soft glow. He shifted his position, now lying on his stomach with the lower half of his face buried into a pillow, emerald eyes melting.
"You're beautiful."
A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips, but you quickly suppressed it with a cough, trying to regain your composure. "Thanks."
Just as the moment settled, a loud crash interrupted the tranquility. Damian flinched, and his phone tumbled to the side, leaving you with a view of the ceiling. Incoherent shouting and laughter filled the background, accompanied by the distinct sound of someone barging in.
“Grayson! You insufferable, blundering imbecile! How many times must I tell you to knock before you manage to comprehend basic manners? You’re a barely tolerable nuisance, a wretched excuse for a brother. Now, leave, before I lose my temper!”
Oh.
You snorted and continued to listen as more voices joined in.
“Oh, Damian’s got himself a little video call buddy. Hope you’re making a fool of my little brother, whoever you are.” A tuft of dark hair with a white streak appeared briefly before the phone was abruptly snatched away, revealing a downward view of someone’s face.
Tim’s face stared down at you from the screen as he waved. "It’s his girlfriend.”
Before you could react, Damian’s voice roared in the background. “Tim, you absolute imbecile, give me my phone back this instant!”
Dick’s head popped into view next, his blue eyes the only part of him visible as he peered at you with a mischievous grin. “Y/N! Give me the phone. I wanna say hi too!”
You couldn’t help but laugh, waving to the two of them. “Hey, guys. Nice to see you too,” you smiled.
Tim shrugged, still holding the phone. “Sorry about this. You know how it is here.”
Damian’s voice grew louder, closer. “If you don’t give me my phone back right now, I will—”
Before he could finish, the screen shifted again. The phone wobbled as Damian wrestled for it and Tim tried to pull it back. In the background, Jason’s voice cut through with a snarky tone. “No way she’s actually real. I thought she was just a figment of his imagination.”
“Stop! Unhand it! None of you insipid fools have any concept of how to behave with respect!"
Jason managed to snatch the phone away with a triumphant smirk, his eyes narrowing as he took you in. Among Damian's brothers, he was the one you saw the least. You wouldn't be surprised if he didn't remember you.
“Hey, I'm Jason. Don't freak out, but I think he’s cheating on you.”
Damian’s voice immediately rose in alarm, “I am not! Todd!”
Jason waved a hand dismissively, clearly enjoying himself. “Pretty sure I saw him with some redhead just last week—”
In the background, you could hear the clink of Damian’s katanas being unsheathed. The phone jerked as the struggle intensified, Tim’s voice chiming in with panic. “Alright, alright! Don't stab him! Here’s your phone back.”
Just as Tim was about to hand it over, Dick swooped in one last time, his face filling the screen with a very unflattering close-up of his mouth. “Wait! I didn’t get my turn! Y/N! I hope you're doing okay. When are you planning to visit the manor again?”
You just shrugged and snorted as Damian’s screams and the scuffle of feet continued in the background. The phone changed hands again, this time revealing Alfred’s face as he peered down at the screen with a raised eyebrow.
"Say hi, Alfred," Dick's face appeared beside him and the butler smiled.
"Good afternoon, Young Miss Kyle. I do hope you are well. Everyone is quite worried about you after the incident during prom."
You managed a small, sheepish smile, running a hand through your damp hair. “Thank you, Alfred. I’m doing much better now.”
Alfred nodded, his expression softening. “That’s good to hear. Please take care, and don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. Master Bruce sends his good wishes as well.”
Dick’s grin widened as he gently nudged Alfred aside, taking back the phone. “See, even Alfred wants you to come over. It’s unanimous! Right, Cass?”
The screen shifted again, showing a brief glimpse of Cass who simply raised two thumbs up and nodded her head. There was a final round of shouting, tangled limbs, flying fists, and laughter before the screen whirled again and the door slammed shut, leaving Damian’s grumbling face to reappear on the screen.
“Apologies for the disturbance,” he muttered, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
You chuckled, shaking your head. “It’s fine, Damian. Your family’s just... lively.”
Then you squinted your eyes and laughed. “Is your shirt... ripped?”
Damian glanced down, noticing the tear in his shirt for the first time. It ran across his shoulder down to his ribs, revealing the defined contours of his muscles beneath. The golden light from the setting sun highlighted the ridges of his physique, casting soft shadows that accentuated his form. His cheeks flushed slightly.
“It appears so. All thanks to my insufferable brothers.”
Damian set his phone down and moved to his closet. The room around him was bathed in a warm glow, the last rays of the sun filtering through the large windows. You could see the remnants of the earlier chaos: a pillow half off the bed, books slightly askew on the shelf, and one of Damian’s katanas leaning precariously against the wall.
You whistled as he pulled his torn shirt off, admiring the way his back muscles moved. Damian glanced over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow, but a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. After a minute, he pulled out a clean black shirt, slipping it on with practiced ease. The fabric stretched over his chest, fitting snugly and highlighting his athletic build. He picked up the phone again, his face coming back into view.
“Better?” he asked, trying to sound casual.
“Much better,” you replied, still smiling. “Though I wouldn’t have minded if you took a little longer.”
Damian rolled his eyes, but his expression was warm. “Idiot.”
He settled back down, setting his phone on his lap, giving you a nice view of his arms as he leaned over. The muscles in his forearms flexed slightly as he adjusted the angle, and you couldn't help but admire the way his strength showed even in such simple movements.
"So... Is it true? Do you really have a secret blonde on the side?” you tease him with a grin.
Damian’s eyes widened, and he straightened up, immediately on the defensive. “It was a cruel jest, nothing more. Todd is insufferable, but he possesses no actual knowledge of my personal life. I would never—! My devotion to you is absolute, and I have no desire for anyone else. Their incessant teasing is merely a pitiable attempt to provoke me. I assure you, my intentions are solely to be by your side and to build a future together.”
You cut him off, a cheesy grin spreading across your face. “A future together?”
“TT,” Damian’s face turned a deeper shade, and he flustered, hiding his face from the camera with an embarrassed groan.
You chuckled softly, deciding to ease the tension. “Are you going on patrol tonight?”
Damian’s face reappeared, now much more serious and composed but still flushed. “Yes, I am. The usual rounds. Gotham never sleeps.”
You nodded, trying to sound nonchalant despite the worry blossoming in your chest. “Be careful out there."
Damian hummed. “I’ll be cautious. And if anything happens, you’ll be the first to know.”
You smiled back, feeling a warmth in your chest. “Sounds good.”
༻⊰───⋅
THWIP.
“Is that the best you’ve got?” Selina taunted, swiping at the webs you cast and tearing them apart with ease. “I thought you were better than this.”
Both of you were in the warehouse, deep into the early hours of the night—2 AM. Selina, ever the night owl, had opted for a sparring session over her usual Catwoman escapades. It seemed the night was better suited for training than prowling tonight.
You grinned, focusing on your next attack. “Oh, I’ve got plenty more. Just warming up!” With a quick flick of your wrist, another set of webs shot towards her, aiming to entangle her legs.
Selina nimbly leaped over the webs, landing with a fluid motion. “Warming up? You’re going to need more than that to catch me.” She launched herself towards you, her claws extended, slicing through the air.
Reacting quickly, you executed a flip, your body twisting mid-air. As you spun, you evaded Selina's claws by mere inches, landing softly on the balls of your feet. “You know, for someone who’s supposedly training me, you sure like to make it difficult.”
"Aren't you the least bit curious?" Selina smirked, slowly turning to face you. “Training isn’t supposed to be easy. If it were, it wouldn’t be worth the effort."
You dropped into a boxing stance, fists raised and ready. “Easy? Who said anything about easy?” You shot back with a quick jab aimed at her midsection. She nimbly dodged it, her movements fluid and precise. Undeterred, you followed up with a powerful cross, your fist just grazing her cheek.
“Let's see if your skills can match that mouth,” she taunted.
You growled in frustration, launching into an aggressive combo of punches. Left jab, right cross, left hook—you threw each punch while occasionally shooting webs, but Selina danced around them with her cat-like grace. As she dodged a particularly forceful uppercut, you shot a web at her feet, trying to catch her off guard. She just leaped out of the way.
“Getting better,” she admitted, landing a bit rougher than usual. “But not good enough.”
You returned to your boxing stance, senses tingling. “Not yet, but I’m learning.”
Selina lunged again and you ducked under her swipe. She quickly adjusted and lunged at you with a sudden burst of speed. Before you could react, her claws grazed your jaw, sending you stumbling backward.
“Damn,” you cursed, wiping a trickle of blood from your chin.
“Learning yet?” she replied with a smirk.
You grinned and charged at her, launching a flurry of punches. This time, your webs managed to stick to her torso. You pulled her toward you with a sharp tug, forcing her forward. As she stumbled into range, you swung with a powerful punch, connecting squarely with her chin.
Selina winced as she was sent sprawling to the ground, but she quickly recovered. Huffing, she sprang to her feet, brushing off the dust and massaging her jaw with a wry smile. "Nice hit."
“Didn’t hit you too hard, did I, Mom?” you asked, your concern evident as you tugged off your gloves.
Selina chuckled, brushing off a stray web from her hair with an exaggerated flick. “Hardly. I’ve been hit harder by a wayward cat toy."—An obvious lie, you were a very heavy hitter—"But I appreciate the effort.”
You relaxed your stance, feeling a rush of accomplishment. “Just trying to keep up with you.”
"Is that so?" Selina moved to one of the tables, grabbing a handful of ice for her jaw and sliding on a sleek, black jacket on her lithe frame. Turning to you, her eyes sparkled with mischief, a playful smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Well then... Still have some energy left?”
You rolled your shoulders, savoring the satisfying ache of a good workout. “Yeah. I’m not quite ready to hit the hay yet.”
Selina hummed as she bent down to lace up her boots. “Good. We’re going out.”
You perked up in excitement. It had been days since she’d let you venture out and put your new skills to the test, and you were eager for some action. “Really? You mean it?”
“Yep,” Selina said, pulling a web from her hair with a sly grin. She tossed the ice pack aside, the clink of melting cubes hitting the metal table echoing through the room. “Time to see what you’ve learned. Go get ready."
You nodded and did as told. You slipped on a red varsity jacket—Damian’s from the school’s soccer team. (Despite being a star player, he never bothered wearing it. So you decided to steal borrow it for yourself.) The jacket was oversized on you, but it offered that familiar warmth and the faint scent of his cologne. You kept your training clothes underneath: leggings and a sports bra, the same gear you’d been sweating through in the warehouse. On your feet, you pulled on your red, ratty Converse, their worn-out soles feeling oddly comforting as you prepared for the night ahead.
It wasn’t long before you and Selina were bounding across the rooftops of Gotham, the cityscape a dazzling tapestry of lights and shadows beneath you. The night air was crisp, carrying the distant hum of the city’s nightlife and the occasional whoosh of a passing vehicle far below.
“Keep up!” Selina’s voice rang out, sharp and playful.
On cue, she leaped off a high point with the grace of a cat, her body twisting and flipping through the air while her legs stayed straight. The moonlight caught the glint of her eyes and the flash of her jewelry as she executed a perfect landing on a street lamp. The lamp swayed slightly under her weight, but she held her position with poise, a smirk playing on her lips.
With a grin, you shot a web at the streetlight, using it to swing in a wide arc around the pole. The momentum carried you through a series of rapid spins, your laughter blending with the whistling wind. You pulled yourself up and off the lamp, flipping through the air before landing on the adjacent rooftop with a roll.
“Nice moves,” she called at you and leaped from the lamp, diving into a graceful spin before landing beside you.
Both of you continued moving, the exhilaration of the chase fueling your every leap and bound. The city lights streaked past, a blur of neon and shadow, until your eyes were drawn to a large billboard flashing the latest headlines. The bold text blazed across the screen: “Gotham High Senior Prom Interrupted by Villain Connected to Sionis Crime Family: Chaos Erupts.”
You came to an abrupt halt, your movements slowing as the gravity of the news sank in. Your gaze locked onto the billboard, where a stern-looking anchor appeared, speaking in a measured tone.
“Last Saturday, the prom event at Gotham High was disrupted by a violent attack. Eyewitnesses reported a scene of utter chaos where a villain equipped with mechanical arms infiltrated the event, resulting in a brief but intense altercation. Several students sustained injuries, and there have been confirmed reports of substantial damage to the school's gymnasium. The assailant, identified as Octavius Burton, was apprehended by Batman and his protégé, Robin. Burton, a former professor at the academy, was terminated following inquiries into his activities connected with the Sionis Crime Family, an organization with known affiliations to the criminal figure known as Black Mask. Authorities are continuing to investigate the underlying motives behind this incident.”
Tucking your hands into the pockets of your jacket, you turned as Selina began to make her way to you, your brow furrowing with concern. You observed her expression carefully, noting the subtle shift in her eyes as the news report continued.
Black Mask was always a sensitive topic between you two, given the deep-seated pain tied to the loss of your parents and Maggie Kyle. The mention of him always had a way of casting a shadow over your conversations.
“Have you seen anything strange lately?” you asked, trying to gauge her reaction.
Selina glanced at you, her eyes narrowing slightly as she considered her answer. “Actually, I have,” she said, her voice low and contemplative. “I’ve noticed some of the gang’s activities have been unusually erratic. They’re moving around more, and there have been whispers of new operations.”
“And what do you think it means?” you asked carefully, trying to avoid pushing too hard.
Selina shrugged slightly, her eyes narrowing as she considered her response. “It’s hard to say. They’re usually pretty secretive, but something feels different this time. Like there’s a bigger play going on.”
You chewed on your inner cheek, feeling a familiar tightness in your chest. This was the most you’d managed to get her to talk about Black Mask or any of the darker aspects of her other life. It wasn’t often Selina opened up about such things, and the rare glimpses she offered were often fleeting, like shadows slipping through your fingers.
“Have you been able to find out anything specific?” you asked, tugging at the sleeves of Damian's jacket. “Any leads or patterns that might hint at what’s coming?”
Selina’s expression grew more guarded, her eyes narrowing as she weighed her words. “Not much,” she admitted reluctantly. “Just fragments and whispers. But whatever’s brewing, it’s got those boys on edge. And when they’re on edge, you know something big is about to go down.”
You nodded, feeling a knot of anxiety in your chest. You shut your eyes for a brief moment, gathering the courage to voice your thoughts. When you opened them again, your gaze was steady.
“I want to look into it,” you said firmly. “If there’s something happening, I need to know what it is. It’s... it’s important to me.”
Selina froze. “I’m sorry, what?”
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, feeling the weight of your words as they hung in the cool night air. “I can’t shake the feeling that everything’s connected. There’s too much coincidence here to ignore.”
Selina’s eyes narrowed, her posture stiffening as she took a step back. “What do you mean?”
You ran a hand through your hair, trying to keep your voice steady despite the knot in your throat. “Oh, come on. Think about it. My parents died because of Black Mask. Then, this villain linked to Black Mask shows up and creates chaos at the prom. The very next day, I wake up with spider powers, and then I discover my dad was researching spider-human DNA modification. The puzzle pieces are there. I just need to put them together.”
Selina’s expression darkened, her features set in a hard line as she scrutinized you through narrowed eyes. “Excuse me?”
You met her gaze, feeling a surge of frustration mingled. “I know! I know it’s dangerous, and I know Batman and the others probably have it covered. But I need to know what really happened with my father. I need to find out for myself.”
Selina’s eyes widened slightly, and she let out a disbelieving laugh, her hand coming up to her forehead as if to steady herself. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kid, don’t get ahead of yourself. Just because I trained you for a week doesn’t mean I’m about to let you go and get yourself tangled up with the Sionis Family.”
You bristled at her dismissive tone, stepping closer, you waved your hands around in desperation. “But you don’t get it. I can’t just sit back and ignore this. It’s not just about training or staying safe; it’s about finding answers. Answers about my father and the connection to all of this.”
Selina’s expression hardened, her protective instincts flaring. “You think I don’t understand that? I lost your aunt... my sister too, you know. I get how hard it is. But jumping headfirst into danger without understanding the full picture is reckless. The Sionis Family isn’t just some petty gang—they’re dangerous, and they’ve got resources and connections that could put you in serious harm.”
You took a step back, feeling the sting of her words. “You think I’m too weak to handle it, don’t you? That I’ll just fall apart like everyone else you’ve seen?”
Selina’s eyes widened. “That’s not what I meant—”
“But it is what you’re implying!” you shot back. “You’re treating me like I’m still a child like I can’t make my own decisions. I-If you don’t think I can handle it, then train me like a soldier so I can be ready! But don’t just shut me out because you’re afraid of what might happen.”
"I don't want a soldier. I want my daughter," Selina hushed, now face to face with you. “You're my daughter. You're my girl. You are a child whose whole world was turned upside down with no explanation. You were left there all alone, on my doorstep. And I took you in because I couldn’t stand to see you lost and alone. Now, you’re asking me to let you dive headfirst into a world that killed everyone I loved and nearly destroyed me.”
You shook your head, trying to protest, but she silenced you with a firm yet gentle tone.
“I know you're confused. I know you're angry. So angry about your mother's death. And, baby, I am too,” she whispered. “But you have so much ahead of you, and I don’t want this world to consume you before you’ve even had a chance to truly live. This life, it’s... it’s not what I want for you.”
“But what if this is what I want?” you asked quietly, looking back up at her.
“You’ll regret it,” Selina said softly, her voice heavy with melancholy. Her shoulders sagged as she pulled you into a tight embrace. “I see myself in you, in all the ways I wished I could have been something different, something better. It scares me because I know all too well what this life can do.”
The news report had long since ended, replaced by a loud, garish commercial flashing across the billboard. The vivid hues of red and yellow spilled over both of you, casting an almost surreal glow on your faces. As the relentless noise and flashing lights swirled around you, you simply nodded and clung to her, the weight of her words sinking deep as you hugged her back.
༻⊰───⋅
The newly bought alarm clock, purchased after the old one was smashed the night after prom, blinked at you with relentless precision. Its bright blue neon numbers cut through the darkness:
3:43 AM.
You were seated at your desk, robin-themed socks snug on your feet and a green blanket draped around you for warmth. The soft glow of your laptop screen illuminated your face as you pored over a labyrinth of links and tabs, your eyes scanning for any scrap of information related to Octavius Burton. The room was quiet except for the faint hum of the computer and the occasional click of your mouse.
Both you and Selina had returned from the rooftop after the tense conversation, the air between you still charged with unspoken words. Selina, visibly exhausted, had offered you a final, goodnight kiss on the cheek before retreating to her bed. The weight of your conversation had clearly worn her out, but you remained restless.
A few more links scrolled by on your laptop, but the information was sparse and unhelpful. Restlessness gnawed at you, the room feeling too stuffy and oppressive. You glanced at your window, an idea taking shape in your mind.
You grabbed your laptop and closed it with a decisive snap. The screen went dark, but the soft blue light from your alarm clock still bathed the room in an eerie glow. You slid your feet into your shoes and approached the window.
Opening it quietly, you peered out into the night, the cool air splashing against your face like water. Using your spider powers, you crawled effortlessly up the side of the building. Once there, you settled onto the edge.
Cool and refreshing, a welcome change from the stuffy room. You pulled out your laptop, its glow casting a soft light on your face.
As you continued your search for information, the quiet of the night enveloped you, broken only by the occasional distant sound of the city below. It felt like the world had opened up just a little bit more.
With a click, you redirected your search to something more personal. You began scrolling through the company pages of Osborn Industries, the old company where your father had worked.
You skimmed through employee directories, old press releases, and archived news articles. You paused at a page detailing the company’s history. Among the names and dates, you spotted a familiar one: Octavius Burton.
The text described him as a former lead researcher who worked at Osborn Industries for a brief three years before his abrupt departure. Huh.
Shaking off your unease, you shifted your focus to a research site where your father had published his work. Searching for his name, you navigated to his profile.
Scrolling through his list of publications, you examined the coauthors and acknowledgments. Your heart skipped a beat when you came across a paper that mentioned Burton in its acknowledgments section. It read:
“Special thanks to Dr. Octavius Burton for his invaluable insights and technical expertise during the development of this project.”
A knot formed in your stomach as you closed the laptop, your head beginning to throb. The pieces of the puzzle were starting to fit together, but the edges were still blurred, the full picture just out of reach. You needed more information, more clarity, to untangle the web of connections. But the more you uncovered, the more you realized just how deep this went.
Scowling, you rubbed your temples, trying to soothe the growing tension. Then, the sudden, unsettling tingle of your spider sense flared to life. It began as a faint prickle at the back of your neck, quickly escalating into a sharp, alarming sensation that made your heartbeat race.
Instinctively, you turned, the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. As you faced the source of your unease, a shadowy figure dropped down, landing silently just a few feet in front of you.
Without hesitation, you swung your fist toward the intruder, the laptop tumbling from your lap and clattering onto the rooftop. Your knuckles connected with their jaw, causing them to stumble slightly before regaining their footing. Growling, you threw another punch, but a gloved hand intercepted your fist mid-air.
"Habibti?" came a familiar voice, edged with surprise.
You looked up to see Damian, clad in his Robin suit, his expression a mix of concern and mild irritation. His jaw was already beginning to darken with a splotchy mix of red and purple.
"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, mortified. The realization of who you had just struck hit you like a wave, your cheeks burning with heat. "I—I'm so sorry! I didn’t mean to—"
Damian adjusted his stance, wincing slightly as he gingerly touched the sore spot on his jaw. “Really, habibti? Is this how you greet everyone who drops by? I must say, I’m both impressed and deeply insulted.”
He then pursed his lips, throwing his head back in thought, the white slits of his mask narrowing. “That punch—while executed with commendable force—was aimed a little too enthusiastically. A more restrained approach might yield better results. Precision and control, rather than sheer aggression, are often more advantageous.”
You gaped at him as he scrutinized your stance with a critical eye. “And your balance was off. You need to maintain your center of gravity better. Proper alignment and posture are crucial to executing strikes effectively without compromising your stability.”
"Are you... judging my punch?"
Damian’s lips curled into a smirk as he continued his assessment, clearly reveling in the opportunity to critique. Brat.
“Well, if the shoe fits,” he said with a self-satisfied air, adjusting his gloves with a flourish. “It’s only fair that I offer some guidance, given the rather dramatic introduction. You could have neutralized me more efficiently if you had employed a bit more finesse.”
You crossed your arms, trying to mask your irritation behind a mask of cool detachment. “Well, excuse me for not living up to your high standards. Maybe next time I’ll try to avoid punching the person who’s supposed to be giving me tips.”
"It was a decent hit. You’ve managed to impress me. Consider it a compliment, really. Most people don’t even get the chance to lay a hand on me," he crossed his arms with a wry grin.
“I hate you,” you grumbled, but despite your words, you wrapped your arms around his torso and buried your face into his chest. Damian simply huffed and placed his arms over your shoulders.
“Why did you drop by anyway?” you asked, lifting your head to look up at him.
Damian’s arms tightened around you as he responded, “I was in the neighborhood. Curiosity got the better of me. And it seems I was right to investigate,” his gaze flickered toward your laptop, still lying on the rooftop.
You eyed him with skepticism. “Really? You just happened to be passing by? You do know this is Catwoman's territory.”
“Tt,” Damian scowled, averting his gaze as the tips of his ears turned a faint red. “It’s not as if I was actively searching for you,” he said, his tone attempting to sound indifferent. “Just a fortunate coincidence, I suppose.”
You reached up and gently touched Damian's face, tracing a scar around his eyebrow with a tender touch.
“Idiot,” you said affectionately, a soft smile playing on your lips.
“Hardly,” he replied, a subtle warmth in his tone as he moved to lift you into his arms.
“Put me down,” you groaned. “I’m heavy.”
“Beloved, my bench press warm-ups weigh more than you,” he retorted with a smirk. Before you could say anything, his arms tensed around you, and he pulled you down before effortlessly tossing you into the air.
A startled scream tore from your lips as you flailed instinctively, a web shooting out behind you. The sticky thread snared the edge of the rooftop with a faint hiss, pulling taut and catching Damian’s attention. His head whipped around, confusion clouding his features as he tried to make sense of the unexpected blur of movement.
In that heart-stopping moment of panic, you plummeted back towards him, landing in his arms.
Shit.
Without a second thought, before he could fully look back, you grabbed his jaw, pulling him into a kiss. Damian’s surprise was palpable; his eyes widened in shock, but as you deepened the kiss, his initial confusion quickly melted away. His arms wrapped around you, responding with a fervor that matched your own.
After a few minutes, Damian attempted to pull away, his curiosity still evident. But you weren’t having any of it. With a soft, pleading whine, you drew him back into the kiss, your hands sliding over the contours of his armor as you whispered his name against his lips.
Beneath the hardened exterior and the carefully constructed armor, Damian was achingly soft. The mere thought of kissing you, of feeling your lips against his, had managed to distract him so thoroughly that the facade he worked so hard to project fell away like fragile shards of glass.
Damian’s attempt to pull away only lasted a heartbeat before he was drawn back into the kiss. His hands tightened around you, one sliding up to cradle the back of your neck while the other pressed firmly against your lower back, pulling you closer. Your hands roamed across the sleek surface of his armor, fingertips tracing the ridges and contours as if memorizing the feel of him.
Damian groaned your name into the kiss, the sound low and throaty. His lips trailed down to your neck, leaving a trail of heated, tender kisses that made your breath catch.
Suddenly, the sharp crackle of his earpiece broke through the intimate moment. Damian’s body tensed, and with a swift, almost mechanical movement, he leaped several feet away from you, landing hard on his feet. He straightened, his posture rod straight as he adjusted his earpiece.
“Dam—Robin,” came Tim’s voice through the earpiece. “Eugh. What the hell is that noise? I thought you were on patrol. Are you seriously making out on the job? Jason and I are getting an earful of... whatever that is. Are you trying to set a new record for most traumatizing patrol ever?”
Jason chimed in with a tone dripping in sarcasm. “Yeah, thanks for the front-row seat to the romance, demon brat. I’ll be sure to add that to my list of things I didn’t need to hear tonight. Next time, maybe give us a warning before you make me want to shoot myself.”
"TT," Damian’s face flushed a deep crimson as he yanked the earpiece from his ear with a grimace. His hand slammed down on the divide, causing it to crumble in a fit of anger.
"Oh," you watched with an amused grin as he spun on his heel with a sharp, almost frantic movement, and leaped away from the rooftop in a swift exit.
"Next time, try to keep the earpiece off!" you shouted after him with a grin. Damian just jumped away faster, soon disappearing from sight. You sighed, the grin slipping from your face as worry began to creep in, tightening your chest.
Turning around, you saw the web you had shot, stuck on the ground, glistening faintly under the moonlight. Panic bubbled up inside you as you moved toward it, your hands trembling slightly. Fuck. That was a close call.
With a deep breath, you picked up the web, its sticky texture clinging to your fingers before you managed to toss it off the roof, watching it disappear into the darkness below. The night seemed eerily quiet in the aftermath, every rustle of leaves or distant siren making your heart race.
You glanced around the rooftop one last time, ensuring no other evidence was left behind.
"I have got to be a lot more careful," you sighed to yourself, the words barely more than a whisper. You picked up your laptop, the familiar weight grounding you as you made your way back to your room. For now, all you could do was hope Damian remained oblivious to the web and your secret stayed safe.
༻⊰───⋅
Monday, 2:19 PM - Chemistry Lab, Gotham Academy.
“...and as you can see, the rate of reaction increases with temperature, which in turn affects the activation energy required. Remember, it’s crucial to maintain consistent variables to ensure accurate results. Any questions?”
The room hummed with a mix of scribbling pencils and the occasional murmur as students exchanged glances and half-heartedly raised hands. One student’s question prompted Dr. Foster to smoothly transition to another segment of the lecture.
You slouched over your desk, your focus wavering between the textbook and the monotonous drone of the lecture. The room felt stifling, the endless rows of lab benches and flickering fluorescent lights amplifying the sense of tedium. Your pen danced absently across the paper of your notebook, sketching a series of spiders—each one more detailed than the last. It was the third-to-last class of the day, and you found yourself counting down the minutes until freedom.
This was one of the only classes you didn’t share with Damian, and his absence made the wait for dismissal feel even longer.
With a sigh, you let your pen hover over the paper, your thoughts wandering. You sketched a particularly detailed spider, giving it a little mask and cape for amusement. The mundane buzz of the classroom was punctuated by the occasional shuffle of papers and soft murmurs from other students, but it all blended into a dull hum.
“You like spiders?” came a voice, interrupting your idle doodling.
You turned to find your seatmate, Morgan, looking at you with a curious expression.
Morgan Gwendolyne Stark—her full name rolling off the tongue like something out of a high-fashion magazine—was your lab partner in Chemistry class and a standout at Gotham Academy. She was a top student, a robotics prodigy, and the heiress to Stark Industries, Wayne Industries' rival company.
You blinked, slightly taken aback. “Oh, um... yeah. I guess so. Just an interest.”
Morgan leaned closer strands of chestnut hair falling over her shoulders. "Really? Most people find them creepy. What got you into spiders?"
You glanced at your notebook, where intricate doodles of spiders and webs sprawled across the page. "I don't know," you began, hesitating. "They're just... fascinating. I like their webs."
Morgan nodded thoughtfully, a small smile playing on her lips. "That's pretty cool. I get it. I have a thing for coding. Guess we all have our quirks, huh?"
You couldn't help but smile back, feeling a bit more at ease. As the bell rang, signaling the end of class, students began to gather their belongings and prepare to leave. The clatter of backpacks and the rustling of papers filled the room as everyone moved with a collective sense of relief. Morgan leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms with a small smile. She tilted her head and studied you with a curious, playful gaze.
“What’s your name again?” she asked, a hand moving up to adjust the glasses on her face.
You blinked, momentarily taken aback by the question. After months of sitting next to her, you'd assumed she’d have gotten it by now. Hell, you two did tablework assignments together, shared notes, and even collaborated on that tough group project last semester.
“You... don’t know my name?” you asked, your voice tinged with disbelief.
Her eyes widened slightly, a hint of embarrassment coloring her cheeks as she realized the weight of her question. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her notebook. The faint blush on her cheeks deepened, contrasting with the freckles dusting her skin.
“Oh, I know your name,” she lied horribly, her voice faltering just a bit. “I… just want to know if you know it.”
A smile crept up your cheeks as you gathered your notebook and packed it away, your movements slower and more deliberate.
“I’m Y/N Kyle,” you said, offering a gentle smile.
“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” Morgan smiled back. Her eyes sparkled with a mix of relief and amusement as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Maybe next time we can trade more than just doodles and spider talk.”
“Sounds good, Morgan,” you said as you managed a sheepish smile, sliding your backpack over one shoulder and standing up.
As students filed out of the classroom, you and Morgan exchanged a final look. She gave you a quick, playful wink before turning to join her friends, who were already waiting by the door.
Walking out of the classroom, the hallway was filled with the usual hustle and bustle of students eager to head home or to their clubs. The walls were lined with lockers, some open and spilling over with books and personal items. The chatter of conversations and the occasional laughter echoed off the walls.
As you pushed through the crowd, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out, glancing at the screen. It was a message from Damian:
SUGAR DAMI:
Beloved, I'm afraid I can't drive you home today. I have soccer training that will extend until 5 o'clock.
You sighed, feeling a slight pang of disappointment. Selina was out on a heist for the whole day, and you weren't looking forward to boring yourself to death in your apartment.
With a huff, you typed a quick response:
YOU:
No worries, I'll figure something out. Good luck with training!
Slipping your phone back into your pocket, you adjusted the strap of your backpack and headed towards the back entrance of the school. Pushing open the heavy double doors, you stepped outside into the crisp afternoon air. The sky was a clear blue, with only a few wispy clouds drifting lazily above. The sun cast a warm, golden glow over the school grounds, and the sound of distant traffic mixed with the chirping of birds.
You made your way to a secluded side of the school grounds, glancing around to make sure no one was watching before deftly jumping over the fence. Landing smoothly on the other side, you slipped into an alleyway, your footsteps echoing off the narrow brick walls. You bounded up a fire escape, scaling the building with ease.
At the top, you rolled your shoulder, loosening up. The view of your apartment was visible even from here, but that wasn't the venue in mind.
"To the warehouse it is," you muttered to yourself. With a final glance back at the school, you took off across the rooftops.
༻⊰───⋅
It didn't take long for you to reach the warehouse. The familiar scent of old wood and metal greeting you as you pushed open the heavy doors.
With a tap of your finger, you opened Spotify and turned on some music, the tunes playing from the speakers sitting on a nearby table.
Don't wanna be an American idiot One nation controlled by the media Information age of hysteria It's calling out to idiot America
Still in your school uniform, you took off your blazer and tossed it somewhere on the floor, leaving you in your shirt and tie, slightly rumpled from the day's wear. The warehouse felt cooler without the extra layer, and the air against your skin was refreshing.
Webbing a few panels of the wall, you formed a hammock and jumped onto it, the structure swaying slightly as you settled in. The rhythmic motion soothed you as you lay back, feeling the tension of the day begin to ease.
Settling deeper into the hammock, you pulled out your phone and began scrolling idly through the latest news reports. The headlines were grim, detailing the latest string of crimes committed by Black Mask. As a Gotham native, you were used to the constant stream of bad news, but it still made your stomach churn slightly.
One headline caught your eye:
"Multiple Tech Industries Robbed: Black Mask Suspected in High-Tech Heist Spree"
You clicked on the article, your eyes scanning the details.
"In the past week, several leading tech companies have reported break-ins and thefts, resulting in the loss of millions in high-tech equipment and proprietary technology."
The article detailed the affected companies and the nature of the thefts. Wayne Enterprises had reported missing experimental nanotechnology components. LexCorp was missing cutting-edge encryption devices, while Queen Consolidated had reported the disappearance of prototype energy sources.
Your brow furrowed as you took in the list. Black Mask was stepping up his game. He was gutsy, you'd say that, targeting Wayne Enterprises when Gotham was practically owned by the company. Maybe you could ask Damian for info. He might have some insights that could help you in your personal little mission.
Then there was a tingling sensation, a familiar prickle at the back of your neck, like tiny electric currents dancing along your spine. It heightened your senses, sharpening your focus as if the world slowed down for a brief moment. You turned just in time to see Selina swinging in with her bullwhip, landing on the ground with a graceful yet forceful thud.
Smirking, you raised a hand in greeting. “You didn’t roll. That’s really bad for your knees.”
She straightened up, her black leather suit catching the dim light that filtered through the dusty windows. “Oh please, honey. You know, I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you,” she rolled her eyes, a fond smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"Why so early?" you hummed. "Thought you were out for the whole day. Got caught by Batman again?"
"Caught? Please, I let him think he had a chance. I needed to be back early to remind you who the real master thief is around here," she scoffed, sauntering over to you, her boots clicking against the concrete.
She held a small, black bag in her hand. With a casual flick of her wrist, she tossed it your way. The bag flew through the air in a smooth arc, hitting your stomach with a soft thud. You grunted slightly, and moved to grab it in your arms.
“What's this?” you asked, an eyebrow raised at her.
“Just a little something I picked up on my way back,” she replied with a smirk, leaning against a nearby crate. “Figured you could use a bit of excitement.”
Opening the bag, you found a sleek, black suit inside. The material was smooth and definitely Kevlar. Government-grade material. The bodysuit was similar to Selina’s, but as you turned it around, you saw a spider symbol stitched onto the back.
“A suit?” you marveled, pulling it out for a closer look.
Selina smiled, pulling her goggles up and moving to sit by you. “I made it myself. Took a while to get everything just right, but I think it’ll suit you perfectly.”
You traced the spider emblem with your fingers, feeling a mix of excitement and hesitation. “I thought... you didn’t want me to go out into that world?”
Selina sighed softly, her expression softening as she watched you. “I was hesitant at first. You know how dangerous it can be out there. The streets of Gotham aren’t forgiving, and I’ve seen too many people get hurt—or worse—because they weren’t prepared. But I also understand why you feel the need to do this. It’s in your blood, just like it’s in mine. We’ve both got that itch.”
She paused, her gaze distant for a moment before focusing back on you. “When I first started, I was headstrong, eager to prove myself. I took risks, some stupid, some necessary, but I learned. This is my way of making sure you can learn the ropes without getting in over your head.”
Her eyes softened further, a hand coming up to rest on your shoulder. “I care about you, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. But I also know that keeping you on the sidelines isn’t fair. So, if you’re going to be out there, I want you to be safe. I want you to come back in one piece, honey.”
"You're going to let me patrol?" you rasped out, a grin so wide it spread across the ends of your cheeks.
Selina’s tone sharpened. “Don’t think for a second this means I’m giving you free rein. I’ll be watching. One wrong move, and I’ll be right there to pull you back. But for now, consider this my way of making sure you’re ready.”
“I won’t let you down,” you said, smiling as you hopped off the hammock.
She smirked, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You better not, kid. Now, get suited up. Let’s see how you look in action.”
You took the suit and headed to a makeshift changing area in the corner of the warehouse. The material felt surprisingly light and flexible, molding against your body perfectly. You glanced at yourself in a cracked mirror propped against the wall. The sleek, black suit clung to you like a second skin, the spider emblem on the back standing out against the dark fabric.
Stepping out of the changing area, you caught Selina’s eye.
She circled you once, twice, before nodding in approval. “Not bad. You look like you mean business.”
You grinned, crossing your arms over your chest. “I do mean business.”
“Now, before anything, let’s set some rules,” Selina began, raising a clawed finger in the air. “First, no killing – under any circumstances. That’s a non-negotiable.”
You nodded solemnly.
“Second, no involvement with gangs – steer clear of any gang activity. This especially includes Black Mask and his operations. They're too dangerous and unpredictable.”
You deflated a bit but nodded.
“Third, no crossing paths with the Bats – stay clear of their patrol routes and avoid any interaction with them. This means no going into their known territories.”
“No patrolling on school nights – your education is your priority. You need to be rested and focused for school.”
“No associating with Catwoman – you can’t be seen with me in costume. It raises too many eyebrows and could lead Batman or others to figure out who you are.”
“So... I get to go solo?” you grinned.
Selina rolled her eyes. “Yes, but I’ll be tracking your every move. Stick to small, street-level threats like muggings, burglaries, and assaults. No big jobs or anything that could draw too much attention.”
“After patrols, come to the warehouse first – don’t go straight to the apartment. We need to debrief, and it’s safer to lay low here. If our real address gets leaked, we’re in serious trouble.”
“Lastly, no fraternizing with civilians – no getting involved with people outside of your crime-fighting.”
You nodded, taking in each rule. “Got it. No killing, no gangs, no Bats, no school-night patrols, no Catwoman, warehouse first after patrols, and no civilians.”
Selina nodded in approval. “Good. Stick to those rules, and we might just keep you out of trouble. Any small slip-up or any inkling of suspicion from the Bats, and you're out. Got that?”
Her eyes bore into yours, green slits glaring into your soul. You gulped and nodded again, more firmly this time. "Got it. No room for mistakes."
Selina hummed, satisfied, and tossed you a mask. You pulled it up and examined it. The mask was sleek and full-faced, with large, white mesh eye covers bordered in black. Light, almost invisible patterns of webbing were woven across its surface. The mask didn’t cover your hair, leaving it free to flow.
"You know, for someone who doesn't follow the rules, you sure do have a lot for me," you snorted, running your fingers over the webbing, appreciating the craftsmanship before clipping it onto your face.
Selina smirked, leaning in slightly. “That’s because I’m Catwoman and you’re not. I know when to break the rules and play. You’re still learning.”
“Do I at least get a cool name?” you asked, adjusting the mask to fit snugly.
“The press usually decides that, honey. How do you like the sound of Spider-Girl?”
“Spider-Woman,” you corrected with a grin.
“Spidey might be cuter,” she teased.
“Spidey,” you hummed, rolling the name around in your head. “That has a nice ring to it.”
“Spidey it is, then.”
<- PREVIOUS | NEXT ->
༻⊰───⋅
10k words setup chapter!!! i swear it escalates real bad next chapter
dududun there's a stark
surely putting this child into vigilante work is a good idea i am very sure spidey will be responsible and not at all destructive like every other peter parker ever
also! you fight like Spider Noir bc both of you use bare-knuckle boxing
#AM SPIDEY#SPICY SPIDY#the suffering begins!#IM READY (scared#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne#batfamily#dc robin#damian wayne al ghul#damian wayne imagine#selina kyle#bruce wayne#batman
487 notes
·
View notes
Text
Duke, filming a TikTok walking through the halls of Wayne Manor: “I’ve never understood why people want to know what it’s like living with the Wayne’s.”
He walks past a dark, candle lit room. Dick, Tim, Steph, Cass, and Damian all stand in a circle around Jason. They hold hands and rhythmically chant out the words to Smashmouth’s “All Stars.”
Duke: “Like, they’re just regular people doing regular people things. They aren’t aliens, you know?”
Duke cracks at the last second, laughing at their skit.
#they did have to bribe Damian into participating#shut up spicy#batman#dc comics#batman comics#dc#damian wayne#batfam#batfamily#batman dc#damian wayne al ghul#duke thomas#dick grayson#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#the signal dc#batgirl#orphan#red Robin#Robin#redhood#Nightwing
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
the batfamily & spice tolerance
dick: high spice tolerance, loves spicy snacks and sour candy
jason: high spice tolerance, LOVES spicy food and adds spices to most meals he makes
tim: average spice tolerance, doesn’t love it but doesn’t hate it
cass: high pain tolerance in general but doesn’t like spicy food
steph: average spice tolerance, will get way too competitive about it
duke: average spice tolerance, normal about it
damian: high spice tolerance, brags about it
bruce: tried to develop a high spice tolerance while training to become batman, but lost it after going back to eating only what alfred made him. aka low spice tolerance but tries to suffer through it anyway
alfred: everyone thinks he has a low spice tolerance but he actually has an average one, he just doesn’t particularly like spicy food
babs: low spice tolerance, only dick is allowed to tease her about it. it gets higher over time bc of dick and jason making her food as “thank you” and “i’m sorry” gifts (which are sent often)
#batfamily#batfam#the batfamily#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#damian wayne#barbara gordon#alfred pennyworth#dc#dcu#dc comics#random batfam shit
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Batfamily members as fragrances I like
Dick
Literally my most favourite perfume of all time. The perfume that reminds you of an old school crush (you know which one, that one upperclassman everyone can’t shut up about who’s just so charming and so nice and smiles so wide), if there is a perfume for someone who you can’t help but like it would be this one. Bright citrusy top notes that aren’t quite as bright as him, subduing to the musky, warm scent lingering on your skin that your nose picks up when you almost forgot its there, much like soaring through the air on a summer morning before it starts to get warm. (Quercus by Penhaligon's)
Barbara
Everyone wants to be her but there is only one like her. First of its kind and an eternal classic, if being "it" is a scent then it is probably this one. Determined to a fault and tragically independent. You wish that she would need you but you are acutely aware that she needs no one. Soothing to the nose but keeps you at arm's length, the grassiness and woodiness almost make you forget that the herb and citrus are resting on the surface. (Jicky by Guerlain)
Jason
There is something odd (something inhuman, almost) about him that you cannot put your finger on and you are not sure if you have the bravery to find out. The product of what is real and what is artificial, the scent of someone trying to become human. Mossy, lactonic notes like someone who just crawled their way into the world with the boyishness of citrus threatening to resurface despite the other urges to contain it. Whether being near him would cause you your demise, you will never know. He is not bad, it is not his fault that he is destined to be a little twisted in every reincarnation of the story. (The Ghost in the Shell by Etat Libre d'Orange)
Cass
A half-burnt incense in the temple of a deity you do not worship. Smoke fills your lungs before you can look around to see if anyone is there and from the corner of your eyes, you swear that the lean shadow of a figure briefly flickers. There is no one there, only you and the gods above who may or may not have anticipated your arrival. Strong but not aggressive, warm but not inviting. The scent of wood and spices trailed behind the cuff of your clothes as you left. You could almost swear that someone is there guarding your every step until you finally disappear from their line of sight. (Serge Noire by Serge Lutens)
Tim
Charming and sophisticated but no one seems to grasp what is going on in his head. Such a complex scent profile that lures you in to keep testing it again and again even as the minutes start ticking away. Someone who always seems to be changing with the situation they are put in but also seems at ease no matter where you see him. Smart and witty, almost everyone who was asked would guess that he is way older than his actual age. Whether it is something intentional or not, the opinions are split. (Eidesis by Aesop)
Steph
I will literally die for her, actually.
Bike rides home with your friends. Chilled pink lemonade on a hot summer day. Free sorbet sample from that nice lady who works at the gelateria. All the good things you associate with being youthful and carefree, this is it. The girl next door went away to the city and now everyone is dying to hear her story. But even in a crowd of people who are all waiting to talk to her, she could still spot you from far away somehow and flash you a big grin. Bubbly, cheerful, someone who does not have to announce their arrival but you know they are here when the air gets a bit lighter and the music gets a bit brighter. (Pera Granita by Guerlain)
Damian
(When I say I tried this in the stores and instantly felt poor…)
Warm notes of saffron fill your head until the vanilla takes over and it’s as if it was there on your skin all alone. The epitome of a warm, spicy perfume, the smell of someone you saw in the depths of your dreams once and couldn’t manage to push out of your head, who stood far away in your vision and disappeared the moment you tried to go closer. Someone who jostled you with the initial intensity before the sweetness and petals slowly creep out. You wonder if you look harder enough, would you find him in the waking? (Cappadocia by Memo Paris)
Selina
The fragrance of a heartbreaker who you can’t help but want to know. The alluring notes of roses announce her arrival before you can see her, intoxicating and dangerous. Your head gets lighter when she leans in to speak into your ear, whiffs of cumin and spice tickling the tip of your nose. But no one could have her for more than a minute, and all that is left of her is the cedar and smoke burning into your brain together with her figure as she sauntered away. 100% would leave you crying if you get too close, 100% would try again if given the chance. (Rose 31 by Le Labo)
Bonus
Talia Al Ghul
Try it once and you will never forget it. The smoothness in texture compliments the slight bitterness that comes from the almond milk. Rich, tempting, and elegant in a way that makes your chest ache. It feels like she is doing you a favour just by looking in your direction, and who wouldn't go insane just to be close enough to smell whiffs of vanilla coming from her skin, honestly. (Rolling in Love By Kilian)
| I feel the need to say that all descriptions are not character studies but imagery based on the scent. Some might be more in line with the characters themselves but ultimately, my goal is to convey my impression of the fragrances |
#dick grayson#barbara gordon#jason todd#cassandra cain#tim drake#stephanie brown#damian wayne#selina kyle#talia al ghul#nightwing#wayne family#red hood#robin#red robin#catwoman#batfamily#batfamily headcanons#oracle dc#spoiler dc#black bat#perfume
82 notes
·
View notes
Note
12 am anon back at it again. my friend called me at 2 am, tipsy on i wanna say wine??? and ranted about how nightwing’s “superpower” is his charisma for like 15 mins . and then they talked about how he looks like he’d have a great spice tolerance before hanging up. i think its a hyperfixation .
I absolutely love it!! You and your friend just have the best conversations ever.
Your ask immediately reminded me of this scene from YJ Season 3
"That's just about everyone. Wasn't sure they'd all respond."
"You command more respect than you realize."
"I'm starting to get that."
Literally this boy has charisma oozing out of his pores. It absolutely is his superpower!
Charisma is known as "a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure" or "the quality of being able to attract, charm and influence those around you." And Dick is the living embodiment of it.
It's actually a canon trait of his
The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #5
Dick has the unique ability to lead people. It's not just about telling others what to do, it's people wanting to follow him, listen to him, and and accepts his commands of their own volition.
In the DC/RWBY comic, the RWBY team crosses over to Gotham with all their problems so they have to work together with Batman, Batgirl, and Nightwing (Ruby REALLY gets along with Dick which for some reason makes so much sense idk why). And the batfamily get superpowers.
And DC-
DC LITERALLY WENT-
DC/RWBY Issue #3
THEY ACTUALLY GAVE HIM THE POWER OF INSPIRATION. THEY SAID "if anyone has the ability to lead people to a better life, give them light and hope, and be everyone's favorite leader and savior, then there is only one person to which we can attribute this power to."
Inspiration is the factor that leads people to moving mountains, becoming greater, and changing our entire lives and everyone else and Dick is the one who bestows that power.
He literally inspires people to be better and inspires them to follow him and became the greatest they can be.
Teen Titans (2003) Issue #33
He just has the ability to inspire people to reach greater heights. The younger generation, his own, and the older ones kind of hero worship him.
Charisma is a dangerous power to have. It's essentially the unique ability to convince people to want to do things for you.
Examples of charismatic leaders are Martin Luther King Jr, Joan of Arc, Fidel Castro, and Napolean.
These people moved nations, worlds, societies but they are only one person. And Dick, has the ability to do this too.
To describe him as a person, to describe his charismatic authority, you need to combine all those figures into one person. And that's the equivalent of his power.
Because in the comics when he wants something - the whole superhero society answers.
The Titans (1999) Issue #39
On a separate note, Dick does have a high spice tolerance!
Batman and Robin (2009) Issue #1
Also Romani food is made hot and spicy, commonly using chili, paprika, and red and black pepper. So he can definitely handle the heat.
Lol I'm just imagining Dick absent-mindedly chewing on a red chili pepper while he watches Garth dare Wally to eat a ghost pepper while Donna's rolling her eyes and Roy's hyperventilating on the floor because he's having flashbacks to Ollie's Chilli.
#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batman#konner kent#super boy#fun fact: GA's Chili is so spicy that Supes has to use his freeze breath. Batman and GA are the only two people in all of DC who can eat it#cl anon asks#thanks for the ask!
179 notes
·
View notes
Text
Batman’a Autistic diet:
-Autistic people tend to have digestive issues
-Bruce is often seen forgetting to eat and sleep in favor of work.
-Bruce is relatively small when compared to Clark and Diana, but well-muscled and fed compared to most people who forget to eat often.
-Add Alfred.
-Alfred is British. Other bat-fans on tumblr have pointed out that Alfred probably can’t cook spicy or flavorful things for shit (traditional British food tends to look and taste like London fog).
-The (very autistic) Batfamily believes Alfred is the world’s greatest cook.
-The Butler’s Pantry of the manor is full of red- string conspiracy boards where Alfred meticulously tracks the Batfam’s food preferences, eating times, nutrition, and aversions. He has sensors in the Batcave that tag when Bruce gets milliseconds slower at doing his work so that he can swoop in with a silver platter containing the most evenly textured, bland, delicious meal.
(Funny hc: people think the bats are vampires because they don’t eat at public events)
(sad hc: When Alfred dies, the Batfamily loses a lot of weight and the other heroes get worried about their health. Bruce tries to cook for his kids, and contrary to popular belief he can cook, but being the rule-follower he is, he keeps making recipes perfectly and exactly how they are in cookbooks. His kids believe he’s the worst cook to ever exist, his food is “burnt” when there’s an unexpected crunch in an unevenly textured dish. It’s “inedible” when it’s got spice in it. Tim keeps getting sick and it turns out Dick is lactose sensitive and Jason has had celiac disease this whole time. Cass won’t eat orange fruits. Everyone gets constipation or diarrhea, and Bruce is in the process of inventing Soylent, when he finally discovers Alfred’s conspiracy board. Several experts [Tim and Duke] are sent in to decode it, and Bruce cries when he sees all the details of how Alfred loved their family through food).
23 notes
·
View notes