#batfam I’ll

[noirecheris3]

nightmare mission trio

[starspilli]

laundry day

(pls click for better quality!)

[seilnakyle]

Dick and Babs give Bruce one grandchild and bro clocks out he said “this is my life now 💕” being a peepaw literally fixed him

[everwalldigan]

Bruce being a toxic boy mom when it comes to nightwing will never not be funny as fuck he is literally the biggest nightwing defender one bad word against him and the next day he’ll show up at ur house

Bonus:

[versasfanficwastedump]

and on a similar note, I don’t think Bruce yells except in very specific situations.

like I don’t think he yells around the house when he’s annoyed or when the kids are pissing him off. he’s more of a lecture guy. so much so that the kids compete every year to see who gets the longest lecture. the winner gets some sort of bat themed merch (it changes every year. last year Duke got a pair of boxers with the bat symbol across the ass)

BUT

when Bruce is scared, he gets loud. He’ll yell about “how could you be so reckless” and how “I need you to be better than this.” It’s how the kids know they’ve really freaked him out.

the first time Dick gets yelled at by Bruce, he’s 10. He was jumping rooftops too fast and slipped. Bruce catches him by the cape, drags him back to the batmobile, and totally dresses him down.

Dick bursts into tears. Not because he’s scared, but because he can feel the fear rolling off Bruce in waves. and it feels so wrong for Bruce to be that scared because he’s The Batman and he’s not supposed to be scared of anything.

anyway. Bruce’s fear is loud.

[bloomeng]

batman and his merry band of robins

[tiger-grace]

Jason: C’mon, I just think-

Dick: I appreciate that you want to give your version of Robin their own catchphrase, but-

Jason: Why not!?

Dick: Look me in the eyes and tell me in what situation you would consistently say “not to bird-en you, batman” to Bruce’s face.

Jason: …It was that or “what the bloody hell, batman,” in a british accent.

[ashrayus]

Perhaps…Robin Jason? Brotherly bonding if you want something more specific?

it’s bothering little brother o’clock

[automaticsoulharmony]

Guys I know we all make silly jokes about how YJs missions are crazy and scare the new kids and are cryptids for it, but the real reason the team would be seen as spooky and wild… is that the majority of the members aren’t around anymore.

Think about, four out of the eight core members of the team have just, disappeared.

They mention invading a country and Barts like “yeah it was to save Anita’s mom” and the younger hero’s are just like… “who???”

“Oh yeah, we had to deal with Darkseid back in the day, he was weirdly interested in our teammate Secret,” Tim (no real names unless necessary) Drake says casually “okay, ignoring the dealing with Darkseid part because idk how to comprehend that, who the fuck is Secret??” One of the batfam asks wildly. Steph chimes in with a casual “that’s the girl who tried to kill me, right?”

“Man, sometimes I miss Slobo,” Cassie says quietly when they’re chilling and one of the newer titans happens to be near by is just like “what the fuck is a Slobo?”

“Cissie would freak if she saw this,” Kon jokes. Conner Hawke is just like “I feel like I’m supposed to know who that is????”

Like, Secret, Cissie, Anita, and Slobo are just gone, and the new heroes definitely don’t know who they are, and most of the older heroes don’t either.

YJs mission reports are crazy for many reasons. One of which being no one knowing who the fuck they’re talking about.

Not to mention “I wish we still had the Supercycle, I wonder how its kid is doing?” “the What?? How???”

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Okay hear me out. Batfamily, ugly Christmas sweater addition.

Bruce Wayne:

No doubt in my mind his children forced him into it. As soon as Dick mentioned wearing ugly sweaters on Christmas Day he found this monstrosity sitting in his closet. He chucked it out. He forgot about it. The next week it was back. He threw it out again. Two days passed. It was back. He tried shredding it, burning it, burying it in the backyard. It reappeared each time. Needless to say, it was still there on Christmas and he reluctantly wore it to the delight of everybody.

Jason Todd:

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with what Dick had planned… at first. Then he realised it was a great opportunity to piss Bruce off. Funny enough, it didn’t work as he hoped as Bruce was just happy he was there.

Tim Drake:

Wanted nothing to do with it and still wants nothing to do with it. Chose the first thing on the rack. Would’ve given Young Justice the chance to chose he sweater but he doesn’t trust them to NOT get him something horrendous.

Dick Grayson:

Planned this whole thing just to wear this monstrosity he found while doom scrolling on Instagram reels (he has adhd and is a millennial, he sure as hell isn’t on TikTok BUT dopamine go brrr). His siblings hate him. He loves it.

Damian Wayne:

This boy FOUGHT like one of those cats being forced into a costume. He clawed and begged and weaponised crying. Dick cackled at him until he had it on. He stayed on Dicks shoulders for the rest of the night. They did not talk for a month after.

He will stab anyone who brings it up.

Stephanie Brown:

Okay picture this in hot pink. She immediately locks onto some sort of meme when Dick mentions ugly sweaters. She finds this ugly ass sweater and steals Bruce’s credit card to get it.

Cassandra Cain:

Stephanie immediately calls Cass with plans. She happily agrees. She helps Steph steal Bruce’s credit card and proudly pulls Steph around to show the whole family their matching sweaters. A photo of them recreating the meme with their matching sweaters spreads around the web for at least a week.

Barbra Gordon:

Along with this sweater, Barbs places a USB stick containing a compilation of epic patrol failures in each of the Bat’s Christmas stockings. She wants to keep them on their toes (and adequately afraid of her). It is effective.

Duke Thomas:

Same vain as Steph. Instantly clocked in on memes and found this bad boy. Shows up with yellow temporary dye on his hair and old-lady sunglasses from the dollar store. Whenever he faces the slightest inconvenience he asks to speak to the manager. It becomes a bit where the manager changes each time and becomes crazier than the last.

Alfred Pennyworth:

Motherfucker would not wear a ugly sweater no matter how much the children begged. And the children did beg (Damian had to pull out the puppy dog eyes for this one). Jason was actually the fucker who made him cave pulling out all the stops, “it’s my first Christmas with everyone since I… you know.”, “it would be nice to have something special to remember it you know?”, “I remember my first Christmas in the manor. I just want to feel that happy again.”

Jason comes prepared with the sweater and Alfred knows he’s lost (but he doesn’t really seem to mind when he sees all the smiling faces on Christmas Day).

[deadsetobsessions]

It’s been months since he’s settled into life at Wayne Manor. It’s hilarious that they don’t think he knows about their obvious nightlife (and that’s coming from someone whose hero name was just their last name spelled differently) but they don’t know anything about his own past as a vigilante. To be fair, a dimensionally displaced Ghost King wasn’t really on the board for reasonable guesses. Danny Fenton blinked innocently at Duke, blue eyes watery and oh-so-trusting of his adopted older brother when Duke claimed that his bruising came from getting caught in Ivy’s attack on the busses today.

(“Oh my god he’s so trusting and pure what the hell?” He heard Steph whisper to Dick, who nodded emphatically.)

“Oh man, you should get some rest. You guys are seriously unlucky, you know? Do you need to go to the hospital?” Danny asked Duke, his core trilling as he allowed himself to fuss over a member of his ‘fraid.

“Nah, man. I’m good. I think I’ll take a nap and sleep it off.”

“Okay. Oh, here!” Danny fumbled for his bag, grabbing his prescribed pain meds- for his chronic pain, but they don’t actually do anything for him since his ectoplasm burns away most of it- and handed it to Duke. “Take one, and only one. Those bruises look nasty.”

And then Danny gave him the puppy dog eyes and Duke folded, because Danny knew that he wasn’t supposed to hand his meds out but these situations were kind of the reason he claimed chronic pain to being with (even if it was true and his hands shook with aftershocks).

“Thanks, Danny. I feel like death warmed over.”

Danny laughed, the opportunity to mess with the family sparking in his head. “Yeah, I’ve died before. Wouldn’t recommend it.”

With that, Danny threw Duke an easy going smile and walked towards his room, bag on his back.

From his peripherals, Danny watched Jason drop his bowl of snacks, Dick’s pale face, and the concerned and shocked look of everyone else. Except Damian, who just kind of scowled thoughtfully. Tim looked like he was going to rip Danny apart like an interesting puzzle, Cass sat up straight (and he made sure every micro expression he caught on others stayed unconcerned on his own body), and Duke froze.

He snickered- well out of regular earshot- as whispers and whispered shouts rung out after he left the room.

He can’t wait to drop the “I know you’re vigilantes” bomb on them. It’ll be hilarious.

[morganbritton132]

Tim, out of an act of pure desperation, runs to his neighbor’s house and asks his butler how to remove a stain from a shirt he’s supposed to wear that evening.

Alfred, of course, helps and that turned into him answering all of Tim’s questions (“why does my pasta keep boiling over?”) which in turn, turns into little home ect lessons a couple times a week.

Tim likes this because he likes Alfred and now he knows how to cook more than just butter noodles and pizza rolls. Alfred enjoys the company while everybody is out of the house.

And this is going great until Bruce spontaneously decides to pick Jason up early from school.

They get home during one of these lessons and Jason is like, “Hey, it’s Tim Drake, right? Do you know when you’re coming back to school? I can let Mrs. Simmons know.”

The silence is loud.

Tim definitely implied to Alfred that the reason he could come over in the middle of the day was because he was homeschooled.

[starspilli]

i am still right here

available on my print store :3

[ashtonq247]

Face designs for the Bat kids 👏👏👏

[ghost-bxrd]

I think we as a fandom need to have more talks about ✨dramatic✨ Jason running his own AO3 blog where he posts increasingly violent and heart wrenching stories about Robin. (The second Robin. Because he’s absolutely self inserting.)

And the Batfam find out about those fic that have a startlingly detailed layout of the batcave and accurate patrol routes that they choose to investigate (by reading the fics, duh) and growing increasingly upset about how the characters are portrayed.

Especially Robin.

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Duke, sitting on a large red bean bag with an assortment of pillows, he’s talking to a camera placed in front of him, brightly: It’s all going really well! Everyone’s really nice!

-cut-

Dick, standing in the middle of the kitchen with an empty bowl, cereal spilled on the floor, sobbing and clutching his chest:

-cut-

Cass, dancing. She’s stunning, she is the moment, she is flawless- and she spins into the mirror, cracking it down the centre. She stumbles back and starts frantically signing at the mirror in obvious anger. The camera filming her starts shaking:

-cut-

Tim standing in the middle of a gala filmed by some party goer, his eyes are shut and he seems to be asleep apart from the fact he is in perfect posture and is scowling. An unidentified reporter is speaking to him and jotting down notes despite the fact Tim’s mouth is shut and he is certainly not speaking:

-cut-

Unknown male roughly 19-24 with a white streak in his hair carefully, and with the upmost grace of a 16th century royal, removing photos from a hallway and replacing them with images of shrek:

-cut-

Duke, still grinning at the camera, for some reason there is now glitter on the wall behind him. It seems to be moving. His grin is now too wide for his face and oh gods the teeth: Wouldn’t change any thing, absolutely no complaints!