#bastard bilbo

[otmudohau-blog]

Thorin: I would die for you...

Bilbo (he can't stand the drama anymore): Okay, yes, it's cute, but... Would you rather LIVE for me???

[eleftherian]

the sexual tension between thorin & thranduil is unreal

[leaf-in-a-boot]

still on these two little shits? more likely than you think

anyway, here are some quick sketchy character studies i did of bilbo and thorin because it’s difficult to figure out how to draw someone you’ve never drawn before, especially if that person has odd proportions/isn’t entirely human

i quite like bilbo’s parts but i’m not too fond of thorin’s, he’s quite difficult to draw for me (probably the squareness of him, i need to work on all sorts of different body types)

[helplessavacado]

OLD PEOPLEEEEEEE

Finished this as well. 《Commissions open》

[thesummerestsolstice]

The voyage west at the end of Return of the King is extremely funny to me, because just look at who's on board. You've got:

Frodo Baggins, hero of the Shire, in need of healing but also excited to see Valinor and meet the legendary elves who live there, a gentle soul

Elrond Halfelven, as kind as a summer, looking forward to peace west of the sea, probably wants to go chill out in a cottage with his wife for the next thousand years

Which seems fine. And then we get to everyone else.

Gandalf, cheeky bastard who's gotten so used to being a weird old wizard in Middle-Earth that's he's forgotten what Maia are supposed to act like, will immediately cause problems

Bilbo Baggins, noted storyteller, definitely planning to break into Aule's halls to see his dwarf friends, will ask all the elves weird questions and then sing about their lives and deaths in front of them, will immediately cause problems

Galadriel, who came to Aman half for Celebrian and Elrond's sake and half to taunt all her cousins about being the only one of them to survive the First Age, enjoys causing problems, will immediately cause many problems

(Also, to be clear, these are not three isolated problem-causers, they absolutely spent the entire trip to Valinor actively planning to give Amanyar society and the Valar an aneurysm.)

I just love the idea of Elrond, now reunited with Celebrian, and Frodo happily having tea with Elwing and Earendil, with nothing to interrupt them but the gentle sounds of the tides.

Meanwhile Galariel, Bilbo, and Gandalf are collectively bullying Mandos into releasing Maglor Feanorian from the halls because:

Bilbo wants to read him his translation of the Noldolante, which is written as a cheery Hobbit drinking song

Elrond always complained about how Gandalf and Maglor were both insufferably vague about advice and Gandalf needs to make sure he's more infuriating than Maglor as a matter of his wizardly pride

He still owes Galadriel money

[possibly-a-table-or-just-gay]

bilbo baggins + text posts

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8

that last one was in reference to this btw:

also here's an alt version of no 3 bc it works both ways (petty bastards I love them)

[enbyofdionysos]

I just realized Bilbo’s considered pretty bi-proxy bc of Frodo

pretty bastards, the bagginses are 😌✨

[i-am-evilsylveon]

Angry Bilbo PT. 6!!!

Smaug: So… you’ve come to steal from me?

Bilbo: NO SHIT! I’M ONLY HERE SO I CAN HOPEFULLY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THORIN LATER ON!!

Smaug: You know what, fuck this treasure. I’m keeping you.

Thorin: LIKE HELL YOU WILL!

A few hours later:

Bilbo: Thorin, if you don’t let go of me, I’ll bite your fingers clean off.

Thorin: No, too many people want to keep you.

Bilbo: At least none of them nearly destroyed my home, you half baked bastard!

[trashcancalicojack]

Thorin, to Bilbo: Everyone thinks you're sooooo nice, but I know you're a filthy-mouthed bastard who hates everybody.

Thorin: Honestly, it's hot.

[nalesnik-z-morela]

Why is Aziraphale a hobbit?

Enjoys food very much

English vibes™

Has much circle-shaped stuff at his place (the entrance corridor, the main place where the ball was, the inside balconies of the 2nd floor, the spiral stairs)

Can't or simply doesn't want to catch up on things that go quickly with time (like fashion or technology), sticks to what he already knows, believes in old systems

Not only old-fashioned, he's simply satisfied with what he has and doesn't need new stuff or ideas

Has his favourite set of colours and will stick to it all life long

Uses stimulants

Probably doesn't like so called adventures

Loves his cozy home

Tries to be kind at all costs when he's talking to others

But at the same time cares the most about his own business (the Tchaikovsky record is to him what the spoons are to Lobelia)

Enjoys music so, so, so much (pls somebody show him this hobbit band)

If you still aren't convinced, watch The Drunk Scene. He's basically a hobbit. THAT'S ineffable.

Anyway here's more:

Why does Aziraphale remind me specifically of Bilbo Baggins?

There and back again (IM SORRY)

Likes to socialize once in a while, still manages to be socially awkward af

Can't tell his unexpected guests to get tf out

Has questionable moral system

Says dramatic and/or noble lines (Aziraphale: "Welcome to the end times", Bilbo about sitting at the door)

Gets attached to objects and takes care of them

Keeps managable mess around him

Daydreams but won't admit it (unless unconchously bc he's also naive and his mind drifts away fast)

Would be dramatic about forgeting his tissue

Forgets basic stuff when in stressful situation (Aziraphale and his books in 1941 explosion, Bilbo and the tissue)

Gets very much excited about specific things that are nostalgic to him (Azi when The Clues, Bilbo when Gandalf's fireworks)

Tries to be polite more than he can be

The way he breaks when at the limit of social skills and/or managing stimuluses (Aziraphale ringing that bell so everyone shuts up, Bilbo swearing at the dwarves when they start to place their orders about food)

Kinda does magic and thinks that's epic (Aziraphale doing magic tricks, Bilbo fkn disappearing in front of everyone)

Pays attention to words, remembers details and points them out when necessary (Aziraphale "but is it ineffable?", Bilbo and his fourteenth part of the treasure)

Down bad for bribery but only when all other means let down

Just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing (liking even?)

Other Aziraphale-Bilbo paralels that don't really add much:

Has a sword

Has a ring and carries it everywhere with himself

Has a grumpy friend who likes gloomy aesthetic

Long-lived (kind of)

Both ace and gay communities consider him theirs, although he doesn't work like this at all and probably wouldn't even get the concept of orientation at first

Probably thinks he looks cool in his reading glasses (i'm not sure if Bilbo has such but i like to think that way)

That's already a litany and i don't want to write a whole essay. I promise that there are more such characteristics, those will have to be enough for you now. And if they aren't just open those two books.

To sum everything up, considering all mentioned traits and my own experience, i surely can place a statement that all three of us are neurodivergents, thank you very much.

[smoking-old-toby]

what if thranduil found bilbo's ring on the battlefield after bofta. and bilbo doesn't even notice because he's too busy co-ruling erebor and fucking thorin all the time. and thranduil's just like im so sick of these fucking spiders dragons orcs and shit. if you want something don't right you have to do it yourself, so

thranduil: bard, I'll be back soon. legolas is going to take care of things while I'm gone

bard: wait, where are you going?

thranduil: oh, i just need to drop The Enemy's ring into Mount Doom real quick

bard: ??? the fuck ???

thranduil: really, bard, there's no need to worry

bard: yeah, no. i'm coming with you, you crazy elf bastard

bard ends up carrying the ring bc it starts messing with thranduil, so they take turns. and many years later they sail West together <3

[finethingswellworn]

I just feel like we don’t talk enough about how Bilbo Baggins is a petty bastard and I love it so very much!

I mean: “I know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve?”

Leaving Lobelia Sackville-Baggins spoons after she stole his 60 years ago!

I adore this hobbit! 

[bitkahuna]

“Didn’t your cousin Frodo turn sixteen today?”

Bilbo Baggins turned to glance back at one of the hobbits whose name he didn’t really know. The guy was familiar, but Bilbo couldn’t quite place him. “His party was earlier, with the other fauntlings.”

“Who does he stay with, nowadays?”

Bilbo only shrugged. “His aunt Dora.” He was maybe half-sure of the fact. Last he was notified, at least, it was Frodo’s aunt Dora.

“Didn’t work out with his uncle?”

“No, Dudo’s got enough on his hands with Daisy.”

“Well, what about his cousin Posco?”

Bilbo snorted. “Peony was not interested in a little brother.” She was twenty-eight and probably one of the brattiest girls that Bilbo had ever seen. Knowing her kind and level-headed mother, Bilbo was almost shocked the two were related.

“Oh, that Peony’s a monster.”

“Right monster, that one.”

“You’ve got him running errands for you, yea?”

“Yea.” Bilbo gave a nod. He looked around the orchard, knowing there was a small pond somewhere. He made a left turn and the group followed. He could faintly hear frogs. “I leave money and a market list outside my door on Sundays. He goes down and brings me back what I need.”

Rosamunda made a face. “You don’t even talk to him?”

“Not really.” Bilbo then looked around a bit more before he was able to place the sound of the frogs. He led the group towards them. But in that moment of silence, he cracked a smile, remembering something. “He tried to break in last week to try and talk to me.”

“What’d you do?” She asked.

“I hit him with a bug swatter till he crawled back out the window.”

“Poor bastard.” The hobbit, whose name Bilbo didn’t know, began to chuckle. “Think Frodo’ll ever chill out?”

“Eventually.” Bilbo shrugged. “He’s only sixteen.” And his parents only died last year.

“No doubt Dora’s getting sick of him. You know it’s always the same story. You’d think he’d have figured it out by now. If he weren’t such a problem, someone would actually want hi-”

Bilbo punched the hobbit square in the face. He felt something yield under his fist. Some strange squish. “You get my cousin’s name out of your fucking mouth.”

The hobbit staggered back, nursing his bloody nose.

“Bilbo!” Rosamunda gasped in surprise.

He ignored her. “You don’t talk about my cousin like that. You got it?”

The hobbit frantically nodded, tears streaming down his face and blood flowing down his wrist from where he held his nose.

“I- come on. I’ll get you out of here.” Rosamunda said to the injured hobbit, escorting him back to the party.

Bilbo looked at who remained: Primrose, Doderic, and another hobbit whose name he wasn’t sure of. Silence fell over them in the orchard. It was heavy.

But it broke when Primrose flashed him a grin. “Pretty badass, Baggins. Just like your mum.”

Relief washed over him at the approval. He didn’t want to care about their approval. He didn’t want their perception of him to matter. But it did. So he decided to just consider himself lucky and move on.

Making it down to the lake, Doderic and Primrose sat by the pond while the third went off to find somewhere to relieve herself. Bilbo and his friends decided to wait for her before they started smoking, not wanting to have used it all up. Especially since Bilbo was the only one who had brought a pipe.

“Are you sure we can trust it?” Doderic would ask, eyeing the bag. “It’s got dwarf language on it.”

But Bilbo only shrugged, skipping stones across the water. “Weed is weed.” He spoke with a grunt of effort, tossing another stone. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Well … I will if everyone else is.”

“You smelt it, Doddy.” Primrose reminded. “Smells normal.”

“Smells strong.” The concerned hobbit corrected. “That’s what I’m worried about.”

“You don’t have to smoke. You can chill.” Bilbo said as he threw another stone. He stretched his arms a bit before undoing his vest, dropping it to the dirt with an unceremonious thud.

“You didn’t have to punch Theod.”

Bilbo looked around, confused by the small voice. Then, he turned indignant at the sharp thud to his head. “What the hell?” His eyes spied movement in an apple tree. “Did you just throw a fucking rock at me?”

“No. It was a rotten apple.”

The hobbit stormed over and grabbed the figure in the tree, yanking them down only to reveal a familiar head of curls. He blinked, his anger awash with confusion. “Shouldn’t you be with your aunt Dora?”

Frodo only shrugged, brushing himself off from where he was yanked out of a tree. He looked up at his older cousin with a small smile. “I had something to do.”

The older scoffed. “Loitering or going to an adults-only party?”

But the younger hobbit only made a face. “No. I saw Lobelia there and left. Didn’t know you lot were coming into the orchard.”

“Does your aunt know where you are?”

“No.”

“Then go home before she thinks you’re missing and tears down half the Shire looking for you!”

Frodo rolled his eyes. “She’s asleep.”

“You shouldn’t bet on that for more than an hour.”

“It’s only been half.”

Bilbo took a deep breath, crossing his arms. “Well, what the hell do you want, then?”

“It’s our birthday.”

“Obviously.”

“Here.”

Bilbo blinked at the opened envelope being jabbed into his torso. He almost seemed to glare at it before taking it from the other. “Did you … what the hell is this?”

“How about you open it instead of asking stupid questions.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes, debating on the ethics of punting a child. “Whatever.”

“Thanks, by the way.”

“For what?” He asked as he examined the back of the envelope. ‘To: Dora Baggins’

“Punching Theod.”

“Yea, well.” He flipped it back over, very confused as to why he was being given Dora’s mail. “Nobody should talk about you like that.” Though, from the writing, the letter was old. Very old. “Where the hell did you get this?”

“Her recipe book.”

Bilbo froze for a second, now very unsure of where this was going. But as his stillness dragged on, he was suddenly overcome and immediately ripped the envelope open.

‘Dearest cousin Dora,’

In his mother’s handwriting.

The hobbit stiffened, skimming past the greetings and blinking fast when he saw it. The recipe. His mother’s honey cakes.

“I- how … how did you know about this?” He swallowed.

“Dora said she got a lot of her recipes from family. I was looking through a recipe book she doesn’t use and saw it.” Frodo shrugged. “I know the story and everything. I know you’re sad because other people don’t make them like her … so …” He looked away, seeming less and less sure of himself. “I didn’t realize … until I saw Lobelia … I know it might not be good. I just thought you might want to have it and I know that we aren’t really like, I mean, we’re cousins, and I do your shopping, but I know we aren’t really family, but it’s your thirty-third, and so I wanted to give you something, but I don’t really know what you like, and I don’t think anyone really does, and this was all I c-”

“Don’t.”

Bilbo wasn’t sure what he meant when he said that. But as he looked down at his cousin, who couldn’t even look him in the eye, and then over at his mother’s letter, some overwhelming rumble came in his chest. He didn’t know if it was happy, or sad, or entirely numb. But it was something. And some piece of himself slotting back into place.

“Do you want to help?”

“What?” Frodo finally looked up at Bilbo, some mix of upset and fear.

“I- after … on Sunday. After shopping.” He swallowed, shifting where he stood as some strange feeling came over him, and he had entirely no idea what to do with it. “Do you want to help me try to bake them?” He stared at Frodo’s stunned expression before scratching the back of his head. The rumble in his chest turned over to a sharp anxiety. “I-I could, like, make tea or something.” Now, it was he who couldn’t look the other in the eyes. “You don’t have to come in through the window this time.”

Frodo blinked, biting the inside of his cheek. “What if I preferred coming in through the windo-”

“Yes or no, Frodo.”

“Yes!”

———

Chapter 52 of Yavanna, Guide Me on AO3

[crystalbeetle888]

Voyage into the Unknown Pt.2

Master List

Pt.1 - Pt.2 - Pt.3

The sounds of chanting and singing echo faintly throughout Bilbos’ home, as I drift in and out of sleep. I toss and turn trying to drift off again but to no avail. Groggily, I rise from the soft bed and trot out of the room, heading towards the sounds of chatter. A deep voice sounds from around the corner “- I lost my way, twice. Wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door” Shuffling is heard before Bilbo's voice interrupts “There is no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!” he exclaims. “There is a mark, I put it there myself” My heart stutters ‘That voice’ I panic ‘He’s the magic chanting guy. What the fuck does he want?” I slink away quietly back to my room, quickly packing my belongings. ‘I can’t stay here’ I think, before creeping back into the hall. Peeking around the corridor and seeing no one there, I make a dash to the next wall. 'Fuck my shoes are by the door' I think to myself not noticing the approaching figure. “Excuse me, Mrs Baggins?” 

“Fuck” I whisper startled, spinning around a short young looking man with a bob cut stands behind me “What do you want?” I ask hastily. He looked down shyly “I just wanted to ask if you had any more bread loaves for our jam?” I look at him dumbfounded. “Did you check the kitchen and pantry?” He shakes his head, eyes lighting up before jogging off. ‘What the fuck?’ I turn back around, two more young men stand across the hall staring at me. One of them is blonde, with two funny braids hanging from his moustache. The other, brunette, with wispy bangs framing his face and deep brown eyes. He stands slightly taller than the blonde man, but both equally as ripped looking. ‘Damn’. I peek into the empty entrance hall and spot my shoes ‘No creepy wizard man, so far, so good’, the two men standing there, still spying on me. Quietly sneaking into the hall I sit on the floor and begin to put my shoes on. The two men follow me curiously into the room, “What are you doing?” I turn and shush them “I’m sneaking out” I whisper. “Why are you sneaking out?” the blonde one asks “Are you being held prisoner?” The brunette asks quietly in concern. I scrunch my face in confusion “What? No. I’m avoiding the wizard” They give each other a look “Why?” they both ask in unison. I huff in frustration “Because he's evil, and he kidnapped me”. Finally putting on my boots I stand up just as another short muscular man enters the room. Regalness and power emanate from him. His long flowing raven hair and steely eyes are intense. ‘Double damn’.

“Fili, Kili-” He stops mid sentence upon seeing me “Who’s this?” He asks suspiciously. “Just leaving” I say walking towards the door, “You’re leaving Y/N?” Bilbo and a tall bearded man walk into the room. ‘Oh my god’ “It’s you! You bastard! You kidnapped me!” I yell angrily pointing my finger at the tall man. He gives me a surprised look “I’m not sure I know what you’re referring to” he says nonchalantly. “Oh fuck right off! You’re the one who brought me to this mediaeval shit show” I snap. The old man strokes his beard in thought “Curious” he mutters to himself. 

“Right okay, I’m down with this, Thank you so much for the hospitality Bilbo, but I’m leaving” I say walking over to him and shaking his hand before pointing at the old man beside him “And you, stay the hell away from me” I turn around finding the short majestic man blocking the door, looking at the old man behind me. I glare at him before stalking over, “I don’t know what you're scheming, but I am leaving, so move out of my way you weird little man” he raises an eyebrow at me with a smug look, “No” he states, crossing his arms across his broad chest. I let out a angry breath “I you don’t fucking-” A light tap hits the back of my head before a wave of intense sleepiness washes over me. I stumble backwards before falling over, a pair of strong arms catch me and the last thing I see is the brunette man's handsome face before falling unconscious. 

The room falls silent as the strange human woman lays asleep in Kilis’ arms. Then Bilbo panics “Oh no, Oh Ms.Y/N” He rushes over. Kili looks over at the wizard “Why did you do that?” He asks, confused. Gandalf hums in thought grasping his magic staff “I just thought my lady could use a rest, to- gather herself” He steps away content with his work. Kili picks the woman up bridal style before looking towards his uncle for guidance. Thorin nods his head towards the other room “Lay her down in front of the fire, let her rest” Kili nods in response and carries the woman into the other room, his brother in tow. Laying her down on the soft pelt carpet the two brothers kneel beside her slumbering form. “She’s got quite the temper on her aye” Fili remarks “She could be part dwarrowdam, especially with her height and all” The woman only stood around half a head taller than Kili, and he was quite tall for a dwarf. Kili scoffs at him “She’s clearly from the race of man, look at her soft face” he says poking her in the cheek “She’s too smooth to be a dwarrow” Fili laughs at his brother, patting him on the shoulder “Well in that case you might not be a dwarf also” He jests. Kili rolls his eyes, slightly hurt by his brother's words “Real funny Fi” he shoves his shoulder back. The two young princes continue to fool around, chatting about the strange woman in front of them, while in the other room Thorin begins questioning Gandalf the Grey. He crosses his arms glaring up at the tall grey clad wizard “Pray tell me Gandalf, why did that woman recognize you?” The older man stutters out a response “Well, I just felt like this quest could benefit from- someone of her skill” Thorin isn’t convinced or impressed at all “And what are her skills? Cursing like a drunkard or dressing indecently?” He growls. Gandalf huffs in frustration, not being able to tell Thorin the entire truth makes convincing him incredibly difficult. “Thorin, you put your trust in me to guide this company. So trust me now, she will be of great use in time” Thorin sighs in defeat “You said we would only need the burglar” he states “What has changed?” Gandalf looks at him grimly “I’ve had a vision, Thorin, one that will end in great loss without her” Thorin nods at the wizard's cryptic message “You cannot share any more can you?” he asks unsatisfied. The wizards face relaxes “No” he smiled mischievously. Thorin shakes his head disappointed with the conclusion of the meeting before wandering off to find Balin, the king's advisor, to inform him of the change of plans.

My head swims as I begin to regain consciousness “How are you feeling Ms?” I open my eyes to the brunette man hovering over my lying form, his dark hair curtaining around my face. “Rat shit, now get out of my face” I grumble, shoving his head away by the face. The blonde man from before laughs at the sight. Sitting up I clutch at my head, feeling sluggish “What the hell happened?” I mutter. “Well, you were threatening our uncle before Gandalf decided to put you to bed” the blonde one responds “Then Gandalf and Thorin argued and now you’re joining the company” The brunette one continues, smiling enthusiastically. I stare at him confused “What  the fuck are you talking about?” I ask. The two men look at one another before they both turn to me “You’re coming with us on an adventure!” The brunette one exclaims. I shake my head slowly “No” I say gently. “No?” he asks, confused. “No” I nod “I don’t want to join you” I whisper. He huffs in amusement “I’m afraid you don’t get a say in the matter Ms”. I glared at him before standing up and marching out the room towards the door “We’ll see about that mate”, ‘I won’t be controlled by some weird short ass men’ I think stubbornly to myself. Walking into the entrance hall I find a large, intimidating, bald man seated in front of the door smoking a pipe. The man notices me but doesn’t move. His hardened stare makes me uncomfortable. I've sparred with many strong, intimidating individuals, but this man seems like someone I don’t want to challenge. ‘Scary bastard’ I shake my head exasperated, before snatching my fallen bag off the floor and marching back to my room in defeat. Before I can make it to the safety of my room I am ambushed by the one, I assumed, who's named Thorin “Not trying to escape again are you?” He blocks my path. I roll my eyes at him “Only you” I mock. He grasps my arm as I try to slip past him “Do not mock me woman, you are only here by Gandalf's will, you have yet to impress me” My mouth opens in shock and I huff at the audacity “Get your hands off me before I slap dick off you, you pig” I quip. Thorin's eye widens and his grip loosens fractionally, giving me just enough room to snatch my arm back. I glare at him up and down “Don’t ever grab me again” I turn sharply and head back to my room, slamming the door shut loudly. I let out a shaky breath. Despite all the training, and teaching, nothing prepares you for real confrontations, for the feeling of being threatened. I do some steady, controlled breathing, allowing the anxiety to wash away. Tired, I slip my bag off by the door and crawl back into bed, hoping that this is all just a terrible dream and tomorrow I will wake back in my cabin, back in my slightly less shitty life.

Master List

Pt.1 - Pt.2 - Pt.3

[enbyofdionysos]

I desperately need a Bagginshield football au

Bilbo joining an underdog team and drawing the ire of the team’s quarterback, Thorin Oakenshield, because he doesn’t see why their coach would choose such a little guy over any other available player in the draft

Bilbo has to admit he feels a little intimidated being surrounded by such larger players when they’re out on the field — even though he’s relatively average sized, the Iron Pigs are practically giants and the shots of him on the play-backs talking to his teammates are borderline comical

but Coach Gandalf is adamant that there’s more to Bilbo than meets the eye, even if Bilbo himself has a hard time believing it

slowly, Bilbo starts to become a trusted part of the team with more practice — and finally, finally gains the trust of Thorin when the quarterback is roughly shoved to the ground during a game that would take them into the playoffs

the offending player is a massive linebacker of the Goblins called Azog — nearly 300 pounds and half a foot taller than Thorin himself. And while Thorin would normally fight back to defend his honor (and pride), he can’t risk shoving the bastard back as their quarterback. It would put him out of the game.

And so Thorin falls to ground and hurriedly goes to get up, livid, to back away — when Bilbo launches himself out of nowhere hard enough into Azog’s middle that it sends the linebacker unexpectedly sprawling to the ground.

The crowd erupts into applause louder than its ever been.

There’s a moment where things start to cascade — one of the Goblins shoves Bilbo like a sack of flour and it’s quickly followed by one of the Iron Pigs (Dwalin) grabbing the Goblin by his hair and yanking him down. Fortunately, the refs break up the fight before it can escalate any further, and Bilbo’s temporarily pulled out of the game.

He thinks that’s that. Until Thorin approaches him when Nori’s called in.

“Didn’t I say you would be a burden?” Thorin starts, and Bilbo feels himself deflate on the bench. “That you wouldn’t survive on the field? That you had no place amongst us?”

“Now, Thorin,” the coach begins, but then Thorin’s pressing his helmet to Bilbo’s, and Bilbo feels his heart stop.

“I’ve never been so wrong,” Thorin says, a little breathlessly, “in all my life.” He claps him on the shoulder, good and solid and firm. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

That day, they go into the playoffs for the first time in years, and although they eventually fall out of the running for the Super Bowl, their win kicks off an energy across the team and in the media.

During the next season, that energy kicks up even more.

They’re good.

It doesn’t come from nowhere — they’re working their assess off, and the newfound trust between Bilbo and the others gives them a greater sense of connection on the field.

Bilbo becomes known for his sticky fingers, often catching Thorin’s throws at long distances, and his habit for making quick interceptions when other teams least expect it causes the media to begin calling him The Burglar.

At one point during a playoff game, he intercepts the ball and manages to dodge and evade the opposition, darting across the field until he gets to the end zone and manages a touchdown so unexpected the crowd practically explodes.

Elation fills him beyond measure and before he can even comprehend what’s happening, he’s being lifted off the ground from beneath the arms and Bilbo looks down to see it’s Thorin holding him aloft, laughing and cheering.

Bilbo laughs too, hands coming down to grab Thorin’s helmet for purchase, and then the others are there, smacking him on the helmet and shoulders as he’s brought back down to the ground.

It’s the most Bilbo’s felt a part of the team.

[evadne01]

Not my dwarrows, you bastard

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)

Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins & Dwalin, Bilbo Baggins & Fíli & Kíli

@fandom-free-bingo: Gingerbread Edition - Hero