#basically it started as a joke and then it very quickly stopped being a joke

[shepscapades]

I do have to ask. Was the docsuma ever planed or did they force themselves into exsistence. did you go into this expecting them to have so much homoerotic energy or did it just spawn b4 bc of how other people went insane over doc and Xisuma (separately)

it was 100% completely genuinely unplanned.

I went from a diehard rendoc shipper expecting them to be lowkey The Ship for dbhc doc (or not making doc a focus character at all, really), to thinking it would make a lot of sense/would be funny if Doc ended up being an android mechanic, to thinking it would be cool if Doc and X were close in this au because they both do android tech, to then being like... oh they can be research partners.... to then planning the [REDACTED] comic to then thinking... oh... what if they cared a lot about each other :(((( and the dynamic kinda stole my heart tbh

BUT IT WAS ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO BE LOWKEY bc i know docsuma is... Very Rarepair-y even though doc and xisuma have been good friends for aaaages hehe

THAT BEING SAID I DON'T PLAN ON SHOVING THIS SHIP IN ANYONES FACES LOL they ended up being kinda downbad for each other in a few of my unposted side-drawings but i don't want to make it a central thing unless people really wanna see it LKDFJGLKDJFG

[kannouo]

I'm so lucky, lucky!

fandom: obey me pairing: demon brothers x gn!reader warnings: none prompt by @ember-is-clueless: Can I request the brothers with an extremely lucky MC? The MC might not go to gamble a lot but when they do they win every time, it also strays off to other aspects like if they guess which answer is right on a test, they get it correct. Thank you <3 A/N: ty for the request <333 I hope this is okay. this idea was pretty fun to think about actually as there are a lot of scenarios that could happen surrounding this. i also went super far with just how lucky the mc is lol, just letting you know i basically went the superpower route.

LUCIFER

• Lucifer notices how lucky you are very early on during your stay at the Devildom.

• You were somehow always in exactly the right place at the right time to avoid his and his brothers' wrath. When demons at RAD would make any attempt to harm you, you would just happen to run into him or even Diavolo himself before they could do anything. In fact, even when you went against his orders and went out late alone, you would always come back unscathed.

• Lucifer doesn't believe in luck, and therefore isn't comfortable relying on chance alone to keep you out of danger. It might save him a headache or two, but overall, he won't loosen up his overprotective tendencies. What if the one time he puts his faith in your luck to protect you, something goes wrong?

• He realises later on that your luck comes into play with him too. Whenever you're caught alongside the anti-Lucifer squad — if he ever even manages to catch you in the first place — he always just happens to be in a merciful mood that day, so the punishments you all receive are comparatively light.

• He is trying to work on this. He can't have anyone thinking he's gone soft.

• Is admittedly impressed by your ability to pass any test by guessing the answers, but cannot support you getting by on just that. He will still enforce studying time for you and insists you actually make an effort with your schoolwork, even if you don't think it's necessary.

• Lucifer is not amused when his brothers start trying to drag you everywhere with them to use your luck to their advantage, and encourages you not to let them do so. Even if you don't mind it, nothing good comes from them getting their way all of the time.

You were really in trouble this time. Caught trying to give a cup of coffee laced with one of Satan's newest concoctions to Lucifer, it seemed lady luck was absent today. You knelt before him with your head lowered as he glared down at you, but just as he opened his mouth to begin his lecture... CRASH! You jumped at the loud sound of glass shattering in the hallway, followed by a yelp that sounded suspiciously like Mammon. You turned to Lucifer, who had directed his attention to the door, where the sound came from. "MAAAMMOOOOON?" As Lucifer stormed over to the door and out into the hallway, you lived to thank your lucky charms another day.

MAMMON

• Mammon noticed you were lucky pretty quickly, but it took him a while to realise just how lucky.

• He'd make jokes about how lucky you seemed to get all the time for going out at just the right time to always conveniently avoid Lucifer's wrath, but he only took it seriously when he challenged you to a game of poker and lost all of his savings, as well as the jacket and belt he was wearing at the time. He was stunned.

• Mammon might have a reputation for losing all of his money on gambling, but that doesn't mean he's bad at it. He just suffers from the same habit a lot of gambling addicts do — he can't stop. He wins and wins until he loses. So, now knowing you're even luckier than he is...

• How do you feel about being a walking lucky charm?

• He'll take you with him to casinos as "arm candy" and have you blow on his dice before he makes a move, or even just play the round in his place and split the winnings. You don't even have to know the game, just go with your gut and you'll end up winning by complete chance.

• Another thing he likes to do is walk up to random demons and make a bet such as, "do you think this human here can flip a coin that'll land on heads 10 times in a row?" It being a statistical unlikelihood, the demon will usually allow Mammon to take one of their pennies (so they know it's not a fake) and bet against it. They never bet that much grimm on it, but the shocked look on the demons' faces every time as you just keep landing on heads is completely worth it.

• Lucifer isn't happy about any of this.

• Don't worry though. Outside of making bets surrounding you and dragging you to casinos with him, he's practically your personal servant. He has to butter you up so you don't refuse next time, you know? So, he waits on hand and foot for you all day. Practically worships you.

"MC! MC, babe!" You peeked over the couch as you heard Mammon shouting your name from the hall. Just as he passed by the living room, he caught sight of you and broke into a grin, hurrying over and leaning over the back of the sofa. "There ya are! C'mere, take a look..." You shuffled closer so you could get a view of what he was holding. "...Lottery tickets?" You questioned, glancing up at him. "Yeah! I just bought 'em— will you scratch 'em out for me, baby? Please?" He begged. "I'll do anythin' ya want!"

LEVIATHAN

• Levi takes a while to find out about this ability because of how much time he spends in his room. There are very little opportunities for your luck to come into play there... except for in video games.

• The first time you demolished him in a game you told him you had never played before by pure chance, he demanded rematch after rematch until he solemnly concluded that it wasn't going anywhere. You were pretty sure he hated you for it, judging by his refusal to talk to you or message you afterwards, until he invited you back to his room again, this time to play a co-op game together.

• Predictably, he's jealous of your luck. How come you don't even have to try, and all these good things just seem to come to you naturally? It's not fair.

• He mostly gets over any petty resentment he holds after you two start to get closer, and actually really enjoys games where he can team up with you. He's pretty bad at explaining controls, but it doesn't even matter because you always end up with the luckiest possible circumstances. You contribute even when you aren't trying to.

• Thinks it's hilarious a lot of the time, too. If he's in a voice chat lobby he'll start mocking the other players for losing so badly against a total noob. He's surprisingly toxic.

• One time, Levi had to leave his room because Diavolo had arranged a student council meeting on the day where a special, limited-edition figurine of one of his favourite shows was dropping. He damn near had to be dragged away from his computer by Lucifer, and was sulking the whole meeting. Why today of all days...?

• But you just so happened to pull out your DDD and open Akuzon at the exact moment the figurine dropped. Blissfully unaware, you ordered it, thinking nothing more of it other than "Levi will probably like this".

• He was devastated when the figurine was already sold out by the time he got home, but when it showed up at the door anyway, he couldn't decide between being ecstatic and confused. Was this some kind of miracle?!

• When you explained that you had ordered it for him, he literally drops to his knees and starts thanking and praising you.

• Joins Mammon as your second personal servant.

"LOLOLOL, I thought you losers said you were good at this game!" Levi taunted into his headset, provoking the other players in the lobby to talk back, hurling all kinds of insults his and your way in response. "How much of a normie do you have to be to lose that bad against a total noob?" "Levi," you hit his shoulder. "Stop it." Levi looked at you then paused, a sly smile forming on his face as he listened to the other players yell. "They're saying I carried." You furrowed your brow. "Like hell you did! Oh, it's on."

SATAN

• Also doesn't really believe in luck, but his opinion can be changed if you allow him to experiment with it a little.

• Here's a pop quiz about various subjects in the Devildom you should, by all sound logic, know nothing about. Let's see how you perform when all you can do is guess. Huh... they're all correct. Alright then — could you crack this egg for him? Just a regular egg, and he'll see... its a triple yolk. Well... for the final test, here's a random lottery ticket. You couldn't possibly—... did you just hit a jackpot? Seriously?

• After a while of "observing" your unnatural abilities, he is eventually forced to conclude that lady luck really does exist, and she plays favourites.

• Your luck definitely comes in handy, and he will use it to his advantage, mainly to gain the upper-hand in pranking Lucifer. As long as you're around or are the one performing it, it's far more likely for their pranks to succeed. And if they get caught, the punishments are always far less severe, so they can get back to finding new ways to inconvenience Lucifer as fast as possible.

• He also likes bringing you with him to bookstores, because whenever you wander around or randomly pick out a book, it always happens to be some kind of rare edition or cursed book that is... for some reason in a public bookstore. And it's not like the curse will hurt you either. No, you're just too lucky for that.

• Sort of develops a more laid-back attitude to what you do overtime, unlike Lucifer. Satan has full faith in your luck, and doesn't tend to worry much about your safety. That isn't to say he doesn't care, more like he believes fate itself will always keep you safe.

• Also, whenever he takes you to cat cafes or areas popular with stray cats, they always surround you and jump up onto your lap. Even the feistiest of cats are calm enough to be pet by you. He loves this, and tries to take you with him every time he goes out somewhere like that.

"Pspspspsps..." "Oh, that's Paprika. She doesn't have an owner and is scared of people, so she won't—" Satan's sentence was cut short by the usually shy and aggressive kitty jumping up into your lap. She 'mrrp'ed as you pet and cooed at her, and it took you a moment to notice the utter silence from the man next to you. "Satan? What's wrong?" He blinked and gazed lovingly at you, completely starry-eyed. "...I love you."

ASMODEUS

• He knew you were lucky right off the bat. I mean, you had to be with looks like yours. You basically won the genetic lottery!

• Obviously, your abilities go far beyond just good looks. But he honestly doesn't care as much as his brothers do about all of that. He's much more focused on how you are absolutely slaying every single outfit you try on! No matter how hideous a combination is, you always make it look good... How?!

• I would say he's jealous, but that would be a lie. He's still hotter, obviously... but you're close second! Well, no, you're not that close behind, but still!

• If there's anything he is jealous of, it's your lack of bedhead. He's drawing a line, it's completely unfair for you to wake up looking perfect every morning.

• If Asmo were to ever use your luck to his advantage, it would be to score his most desired modelling shoots. Just having you near him makes scouts more likely to approach him, and having you in a picture makes it go instantly viral. You're his lucky charm for stuff like that.

• Doesn't approve of his brothers stealing you away for all kinds of shenanigans though. Mostly because it's taking your attention away from where it should be, on him. He may not take advantage of your luck as frequently as the others, but if that's what it takes to have you all to himself, he might start to!

• Designs a cute little four-leaf clover accessory for you to wear, like a bracelet or a hairclip.

"MC, honey!~" Asmo came running into your room, a big smile on his face. Before you could even speak, he latched his arms around you in a bone-crushing hug, kissing all over your face. "Thank you so much for getting me that photoshoot~ it was amazing!" Confused, you wriggled around for a bit of freedom, and he loosened his grip on you. "I didn't get you anything?" "Of course you did, sweetheart! It's all thanks to you I was lucky enough to come across an opportunity like that~ so, how about a special reward for my favourite lucky charm, hm?~"

BEELZEBUB

• Beel is unlikely to notice unless your luck is pointed out to him. Not because he's stupid or doesn't pay attention to you, but because he just doesn't think in that way. He'll notice when things seem to conveniently always go your way, but he doesn't piece all of those events together and come to the conclusion that you have absurd luck on his own.

• It's only when one of his brothers comment on it that the puzzle pieces all connect and he's like "ooooh." His only real reaction beyond that is a shrug. He frankly doesn't care that much.

• He notices that whenever he takes you out to eat, he always ends up with extra food on his plate that he didn't ask for. He notices that there always happen to be extra replacements for any ingredients he eats when he's on dinner duty, as long as you're in the house. He notices how some vendors are more willing to give him samples on-the-house when you're by his side. It's just not the main reason why he wants you around all the time.

• He loves you because of how unique you are and because of how much you've helped his family. Your luck is convenient, yes, but he doesn't go out of his way to use it for himself. The last thing he wants is for you to think he's using you.

• ...He might ask you to help him sneak food into places though.

• Beel is also unlikely to put much faith in your luck to keep you safe. He knows you've managed to evade danger in the past, but he'd much rather protect you himself so he can be sure.

• Even though he doesn't use your luck to his advantage, he'll ask a lot of questions about what you've been able to do with it in the past. He might ask you to try out a few things solely for experimental purposes, but it's usually just to see how far-reaching your luck actually is. Treats it like a superpower, which it kind of is.

• Such as: what if someone tells you to cook a meal you've never heard of without a recipe? If you just try random stuff, will you end up with a good meal anyway? You tried that one out — the answer was, somehow, yes.

You felt a rough tap on your shoulder. Turning, you were met with Beel, looking very guilty and with a bag full of snacks. "Can you hide these in your coat?" He asked. "Beel, we're at a movie theatre..." You spoke with a hushed voice, looking around warily. "We can just buy popcorn." "I know, but... just popcorn isn't enough." He looked at you with such sad eyes that you couldn't help but give in. You took the bag from him, tucking it under your arm, and he lit up. "Thank you, MC."

BELPHEGOR

• Sure, he noticed, but was pretty sure he wouldn't care about it at all. He sleeps through most days anyway, so...

• He was totally wrong, though. He remembers waking up next to you one morning, cuddled snugly into your chest and arms lazily draped over you from the night before. Groaning, he turned and looked over at his bedside clock... 12:00, it read. He blinked. Had he slept through the beginning of RAD? Without Lucifer or Beel coming to wake him? Seemed unlikely...

• It was only when he checked his DDD that he saw a few messages in the House of Lamentation group chat of Lucifer informing everyone that there had been some sort of mishap with a potion, so RAD's halls were closed off for the day, and perhaps tomorrow. How lucky, he thought. He gets to spend all day in bed with... MC.

• Anyway, he tries to sleep in your bed literally every night from then on, because whenever he does there always seems to be some kind of event that causes RAD to be cancelled or delayed.

• Lucifer bans him from doing this after realising it. He can't just have the entire school year amount to nothing because classes kept getting cancelled, after all. Belphie was not happy about this at all.

• Even when staying overnight with MC is banned, he'll still find ways to use their luck to his convenience. When he naps on them or near them, he's far less likely to be disturbed from his sleep. There's also the bonus of MC helping him and Satan get away with their pranks on Lucifer more often.

• That's what he gets for revoking Belphie's sleepover privileges.

• Your luck sometimes backfires on him, though. Whenever he tries to pull a prank on you, it always goes horribly wrong. To be fair, he probably should have predicted that outcome.

"Belphie... wake up..." You spoke softly into Belphie's ear and he twitched in his sleep. All it took was a few more gentle shakes and he finally stirred, looking at you with sleepy eyes. "Come on, it's time to get up." "What?" He huffed and rested his head back down on top of you. "RAD's cancelled... I don't need to get up..." "It—" You paused and blinked down at the avatar of Sloth. True, it was cancelled for the day, but that announcement was only made about thirty minutes ago. Belphie had been sound asleep. "—How did you know it was cancelled?" The only response you got was a smirk and a knowing look before he went right back to sleep.

[doqt33th]

SINGULARITY

MIRAGE/READER

SUMMARY: You and Mirage have been pining for each other for a while now. A nasty summer storm drives you straight into his arms. Shenanigans ensue.

WORD COUNT: 18k. Sorry I’m insane

WARNINGS: 18+ and I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH!! Explicit PWP, fingering + oral (fem receiving), penetrative sex, mild spit kink. Reader is fem and uses she/her pronouns but is written fairly androgynous. No descriptors of appearance beyond the basics and no (y/n) used.

Familiar streets flashed by at increasing speeds, traffic and pedestrians flickering by and blurring together into a smorgasbord of color, all gilded by the setting sun. Unconsciously, you dug your fingers into the seams of the leather seat beneath you, worrying the stitches. Out of the corner of your eye, the radio blazed to life with color and that oh-so-familiar symbol.

“Hey, hey, easy on the merchandise, hot stuff,” Mirage crackled out of the speakers lightheartedly, and you immediately yanked your hands into yourself like they’d been burned. In your worrying, you’d seemingly forgotten about what — or rather, who — exactly was your ride.

“Oh— my bad, I wasn’t thinking,” you said, sinking your weight back and down, instead picking at your nails to give your hands something to do. God, you were so nervous, and for what? Mirage knew all these people— these bots, and knew them well. They were all friends! Or amiable towards each other, at the very least. And they were the good guys. Saved the world and all that.

So why were you so anxious?

“You’re good, don’t worry ‘bout it.” He slowed to a stop at a red light. Your leg started to bounce. “Sooo… you wanna tell me what’s on your mind? Save me a trip to Noah’s repair shop? I’d hate for you to start taking your emotions out on me, y’know.”

You scoffed, eyes sliding to the radio. The grin that pulled at the corners of your mouth was one you were helpless to stop. He just had that effect on you, where around him you became a slave to your laughter and, additionally, also became one half of a terrible joke machine that Mirage happily completed.

Leather creaked as you nudged the inside of the door with your boot to chastise him. “You love when I take my emotions out on you, dick. Don’t lie.”

“Only the good ones,” he shot back, and you could hear the grin in his voice. “You nervous about meeting the others?”

His probe was successful; you fought the urge to shrink at your feelings being read so accurately and so immediately. “I— yeah. I am, and I don’t even know why. I’m sure they’re all great, I’m just working myself up over nothing.”

Red faded to green. Carried on the tide of forward-moving traffic, Mirage rolled ahead, eventually slipping over to make a turn. You watched him twist his mirrors to check his blind spot.

“Ah, c’mon. Nobody could blame you, you’re meeting a bunch of aliens for the first time. Pretty trippy for anyone. ‘specially if those aliens are, like, double your size. And robots.” A short chuckle topped off his words.

“Right. I just don’t wanna fuck it up or embarrass myself, you know how it is. I don’t wanna embarrass you, either.”

“Oh, Primus, trust me. You’re not gonna embarrass me. I don’t even think that’s possible. Prime’s seen me in a lot worse shape than bringing you in to meet him.” The world continued to roll by. Brick buildings blotted out the sunshine in intermittent flashes. “You got good marks from your favorite bot, you’ll be fine.” The dismissive tone of his voice was working, in a weird way, to assuage your fears.

“Excuse me,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest pointedly. “My favorite bot?”

“What, am I not?” A downright theatrical gasp hissed out of the speaker. “Have you been cheating on me?”

Cheeks hot with a flush at even the joking insinuation of being together, you glanced away from the impassive Autobot symbol on the radio and out the window. Still, the laugh barked out of you was sudden and sharp, and quickly dissolved into giggles. “Yes. Mirage. I’m sorry. There’s another ten foot tall alien robot in Brooklyn that’s been vying for my attention. We’re done.”

“I should throw you out on the street right now,” Mirage fussed playfully, his evident pout tinging his voice. “For breakin’ my spark. Also I’m taller than that.”

“You wouldn’t dare. I’m fragile.”

“I dunno. Noah gets his ass kicked around pretty good and he’s still kickin’ it.”

“I am not Noah,” came your tongue-in-cheek rebuttal. “And Noah just refuses to give up even when it’s good for him.”

“Thought qualities like determination were supposed to be big things with you guys.”

“In moderation.”

Mirage barked a laugh. “Ha! Should tell that to Prime. He’ll blow a gasket.” You opened your mouth to reply, only to be cut off. “No, seriously, tell it to Prime, we’re here.”

The easy confidence that your playful back-and-forth had teased out instantly chilled into a dense mass in your stomach; Mirage was rolling slowly up to a nondescript warehouse buried deep within the old industrial part of Brooklyn, and the way the worn brick loomed over you even in the car made your heart rate pick up.

Now or never.

Familiar alien whirs and clicks of shifting and setting metal filled your ears as Mirage rose into his bipedal mode, the driver’s seat gently ejecting you onto your own two legs on the pavement. Following the motion, you took a few steps forward, but still balked a little at the half open door. Inside, you heard voices of varying timbre, and you fought the urge to turn tail.

Now. Or. Never. Gritted teeth accompanied the repetition of your thought.

The displacement of air behind you — and the soft, constant mechanical noises emanating from his body — signaled Mirage’s presence before his voice.

He said your name with surprising care, using a tone that only came out when he was really being sincere. You couldn’t help the way your face warmed at it as you turned, craning your neck up to meet his gaze. “Hey, you, uh, you want me to go in ahead of ya? Normally I’d be like ‘ladies first’ and all that, but you said you weren’t feeling too jazzed about going in—“

“Yeah, actually, if you could, that would be… great. That would be great.”

“Gotcha. Let you psych yourself up a little more before you go in, I see how it is. Let me do the talking,” he affirmed with an easy grin and a nod, bouncing on the balls of his pedes a few times before striding forward. His long legs folded easily under him as he ducked under the lowered garage door, and you traipsed after, smoothing your thumb over your knuckles repeatedly.

The warehouse yawned beyond you, orange shafts of light cutting gashes into otherwise brownish darkness. Old graffiti sprayed across the walls told you that Ramona had been there once, then Nick, then Darnell, and a million others. And you were there now, feeling impossibly small, yes, but a little more resilient with the fading sunlight at your back and Mirage, like always, at your side.

He’d become a permanent fixture in your life from the day you’d met him — when you’d strong-armed Noah into giving up his secret about his Porsche, and the mysterious car had ended up being a twelve-foot-tall robot with a literal motormouth that made a playful pass at you within the first hour of your first conversation. You’d been flustered out of your mind, but had just kept coming back out of unfettered curiosity and outright fascination. Aliens were real, and Noah was friends with one, and it— he could turn into a Porsche.

Mind-shattering observations on the surface, yes. Mirage tended to deflate the grandeur, though, because he never acted like aliens did in the movies or in books. There was no ‘We come in peace!’ bullshit. He was so easy. Everything with him was so easy. He was loudmouthed and extroverted and genuinely hilarious; you spent hours in Noah’s garage trading terrible jokes — mostly bad sexual innuendos — or buckled to Mirage’s driver’s seat as he flew down Central Avenue on the wrong side of the limit and blasted Haddaway so loud it nearly busted your eardrums.

Weird to say an alien robot was your friend, but he was. He gave you rides to work, to your lectures, to your labs, wherever; in fact, he got petulant when you dared to take the bus one day to give him a break, and made it a point to pry your routine out of you so that he could take you wherever you wanted, no fares needed. 

So infuriating. You loved it.

You loved… maybe more than just the back-and-forth. Maybe more than the bad jokes. Maybe more than the late-night drives. You were starting to think— starting to realize you loved big blue optics, and the rumble of a 260 horsepower engine when you made just the right innuendo, and broad, incredibly intricate servos that dwarfed yours in size but were so, so careful…

Man. You tried not to think about it too much. It as a concept made you laugh with its own absurdity. Poor human chick fell in love with the giant alien robot that made her laugh. It wasn’t… debilitating. You still functioned like a normal adult. Mostly. Except for that one night like two weeks ago where you’d been arguing with him about some stupid shit and he’d scooped you up, right off the ground, in both servos and held you there, digits interlaced against your back and thumbs on your front.

It wasn’t the first time he’d ever held you like that — he’d done it a few times — but something was different that night… even if he’d only done it to gain an upper hand in your bickering. The air crackled with latent electricity, made your skin buzz in all the right places, especially when Mirage had gone quiet for once in his life as he stared at you in his grasp. When you’d prompted him with his name, he’d only responded by gently stroking a thumb over the swell of your chest, which had made you gasp air in so sharply that it burned in your throat. The metal left a tingling path on your skin under your shirt in its wake and immediately sent your heart rate skyrocketing past whatever the fuck was a normal BPM.

He’d snapped back to reality at the sudden expansion of your lungs and had attempted to play it all off as a joke. You remembered how you’d still stumbled when your shoes touched the ground, an absolutely insane feeling of genuine heat rocking you as your brain seized the feeling of his touch while it still sparked against your nerve endings and helpfully replayed it over and over and over again. Sure, the rhythm of banter came back after a stuttering beat, but you never really cooled the warmth on your face for the rest of that night — and when Mirage had dropped you off at your apartment, your door was shut and locked for about five minutes before your shaking hand was frantically worked beneath the waistband of your pants.

…Whew. Definitely something a little more than friendly there. Maybe even more than pure love, something a little slicker and deeper that buzzed against your bones and coiled low in your stomach. It made you feel a little weird — just objectively, because of what Mirage was — but damn if it didn’t feel good to indulge.

God, fuck, why were you thinking about that now, of all times? Escapist fantasies be damned, you were going to meet Mirage’s comrades-friends-coworkers and leave a good impression. Not drool over the worn-out memory replaying in your head for the thousandth time this week.

Out of the darkness and around corners, they emerged. The stealth wasn’t on purpose; you didn’t even think they could be stealthy. Oh, one was coming right for you now — tall was the only word your brain could muster. Tall and red and square were added to the list of adjectives as the stately bot approached, servos collected into fists at his sides and shoulders thrown back.

“Priiiime,” Mirage greeted warmly, throwing his arms out at his sides in his favorite pose. “Look, hey, I know what you said about bringing more people around, but I swear— Hey!”

Completely ignoring your friend’s (status pending) greeting, the bot— Prime, holy shit, this is THE Prime, was kneeling down, leaning forward, and he was right in your face. You fought the very biological urge to flinch. Blue optics considered you for a moment before narrowing and flicking to your right from his lowered position.

“Mirage,” Optimus started with a gravelly tone  from behind his faceguard that communicated exasperation above all else. “I explicitly stated that for our safety — and yours — that we were to come in contact with no more humans.”

“Sir, I gotta be honest with you. Kinda hard on a planet that’s got, what, five billion of ‘em? Six?” Mirage glanced at you for backup. You stared back flatly, refusing to say anything that might put you on the business end of a laser cannon.

“You were told to remain incognito so you could recover.” Optimus continued, his gaze returning to you. With a shunk of shifting metal, his faceplate slid away. His faceplates were weathered; the chipped metal around his optics gave the illusion of wrinkles and eyebags. Tired. He seemed tired. “This is not incognito. What is your name?”

You gave it after taking a beat to steady yourself. He repeated it back to you. “How did you come in contact with Mirage?”

“I, uh— Noah, Noah Diaz, he’s my friend. I basically pried it out of him,” you said with a nervous laugh. “So it’s not Mirage’s fault. I’m just nosy.”

At the mention of Noah, Optimus seemed to visibly relax; he moved back slightly, though he remained kneeling, and the narrowed, suspicious squint of his optics rounded out into something much softer.

“…I see. Then I assume you understand the… precarious nature of our existence on your planet.” he said, his tone grave and his optics searching your face.

You nodded, pressing the flesh of the inside of your cheek between your teeth for a moment as you came up with a suitably diplomatic response that still conveyed your friendliness. “I do, yeah. Noah told me most of it. What he could, anyway. I just wanted to make it clear that I’m not— I’m not a threat here. Like I don’t work with the, uh, the government or anything. Whatever you guys need help with, I’m available, even if that just means keeping my mouth shut.”

Christ, you were glad this wasn’t your day job. You’d be such a shit ambassador. I’m available. What the hell did that even mean? Fuck yes, you were available, your brain guffawed, thinking of broad metal thumbs brushing over your chest.

You blinked hard, squeezing your eyelids together until the world came back in a photo negative, to scold yourself.

Although you’d stumbled through your reply, Optimus seemed to approve. He rose with a great creak of metal off of his knee and backed up to give you space, though he still regarded you with those sharp blue optics that felt as though they pinned you to the concrete below. “I see Noah chooses his company well. I should have assumed his sentiments would extend to his companions.” He shut his optics for a moment and dipped his head, as if considering deeply what to say next. “I am not sure how much Mirage — or Noah — divulged to you.”

“A fair amount— well. Any amount that won’t get them in trouble,” you called up, taking in deeper breaths to project your voice up the two stories of height to his head. To your side, Mirage snorted. “I know your name— Optimus, I know that, and I know about the Autobots. A little bit about the— fuck, what were they called—“

“Terrorcons?” Mirage supplied, and you were impressed at how quiet he’d been otherwise.

“Terrorcons, thank you. Other than that, not much. How much should I know?”

“Your knowledge is sufficient. All we fear — and all we risk—“ Optimus added with a pointed look at Mirage, who looked incredibly sheepish. “—at the moment is discovery. So long as you maintain secrecy, no harm shall come to us… or you, for that matter.”

It almost sounded like a threat, but Prime worded it very much like a warning. You decided it was best to heed his word — not that you really had another option.

“Right. Okay. Well— I mean, it was nice to meet you. People — humanity, I guess — aren’t bad. Most of us aren’t, anyway. Just, uh, let me know if there’s something Noah and I can get or do for you.”

Prime’s gaze shifted away from you. In fact, it seemed to shift away from the warehouse in general, looking somewhere far beyond the now-shut garage door. “Your generosity is admirable, but it is not humans primarily that we are concerned with.”

Brows furrowed at his vague answer, you thought it over for a second — and then decided not to push it. He probably knew best when it came to whatever foreboding nebulous space threat loomed over your collective heads; you would leave it up to the experts.

“Oh, well, golden rule and all that,” you still offered in terms of a response. That got his attention. His massive head tilted downwards to look at you once more with curiosity. “If I crash landed on someone else’s planet, I’d want them to be hospitable, y’know? Just trying to make the best of a shitty situation.”

Like he couldn’t handle the terrible punishment of silence anymore, Mirage butted in. “See, Prime? I told you she was cool.”

A short jolt shook the broad, boxy line of his shoulders, and at first you had thought he’d coughed, and then you realized he laughed. It was barely anything, a huff of a chuckle, but you glowed with the indirect affirmation. Just made Optimus Prime laugh. Maybe you weren’t such a terrible diplomat.

He wasn’t looking at you, though, rather at Mirage, and you swore from your low vantage point you could see a barely-there smile on Prime’s faceplates communicating…was that smug amusement? As the tall bot carefully made his way past you, he stopped in front of your companion, and let a heavy servo land on the headlight adorning his shoulder.

“No matter what you may feel, you chose well, Mirage.” Optimus rumbled out, before removing his servo and traipsing off into a darker section of the sprawling warehouse, ducking through a much-too-small cutout and speaking to Arcee about something indistinguishable. However, you couldn’t care less about whatever her and Prime were discussing — what the hell did he mean by Mirage choosing well?

You turned your head towards said bot, mouth open for inquiry and one brow raised. Mirage looked mortified, in every sense of the word; he stood shell-shocked, lips slightly parted and servos up and open as if to defend himself. His head was whipped around to follow Prime’s departure from the room. A whir started, bouncing off the walls — Mirage’s fans came on and off intermittently to keep his ambient internal temperature at safe levels, but the steady hum of this fan let you infer that he was flushing something fierce.

“Mirage? What—“

Interrupting you by breaking, nearly jumping, out of his trance, he clapped his servos together and started talking at a million miles a minute. “Well, damn, look at that, haha, it’s late, ain’t it? You got work in the morning, right? C’mon, hop in, I’ll drive you home—“

“No, Mirage, hold on, what was he talking about—“

“Seriously, c’mon, he was just messing around—“

“You’re telling me Optimus Prime was joking? Is he even capable of that?”

He said your name with a finality that nearly made you flinch. “Look, I can’t really— Just drop it, please?” It wasn’t angry, nor was it even commanding; in fact, his eyes were wide and pleading with you out of embarrassment. You knew the feeling all too well, and in the interest of sparing his feelings, decided to let it go, despite your intense curiosity.

You put your hands up in surrender. “Okay. Dropped.” A few beats of silence passed while Mirage was still tamping down his fluster. “You wanna take me home now or are we waiting for Prime to come embarrass you more?”

“Please, let’s get outta here,” he affirmed, dropping into his alt-mode and popping the driver door for you. As you slid in, you couldn’t help the little mischievous smile that grew on your face as your brain cooked up some other joke to take the edge off.

The garage door opened on its own. Mirage rolled into the noticeably darker alleyway. The burnt umber glow of the sunset-stained sky was only visible overhead; otherwise you were boxed in on the sides by blacked-out buildings.

Stifling silence was broken by a joke. Your joke, actually. “…Can’t believe your dad made fun of you in front of me.”

The noise Mirage made was only comparable to a squawk. But obviously much more masculine, clearly. Still, his tires jerked on the road, betraying his surprise. “Hey— Prime is not my sire— or dad, or whatever you wanna call ‘em. He wishes.”

“I dunno,” you mused, arms crossed over your chest and back sunk deep into the seat. Brooklyn in transition blurred by in messy constellations of lit windows. “He got you pretty good there. Pretty standard dad behavior.”

“Hey, I don’t know what suddenly inspired him to go for comedy, but I do not appreciate it. That’s my thing. He’s stealin’ my thunder!”

“Maybe you’re just rubbing off on him.”

Silence.

The radio crackled. “Ew.”

Accompanied by the loudest eyeroll you could muster, you whacked the dashboard with an open palm, though you couldn’t stop your bubbling laughter. “Oh my god, you are so gross, Mirage! I hate you!”

“Ahh, don’t say that, c’mon! You love it here!”

“You wish.”

The rest of the ride home was spent that way, bickering like normal, and although you couldn’t let go of what Prime had said, nor his knowing look while he said it, you appreciated the return to baseline. When you got home, Mirage parked directly in front of your apartment building, and you lingered on the sidewalk for several minutes after you got out of the car. With the passenger door opened so it looked like you were talking to the ‘driver’ and not completely insane, you leaned on the doorframe and traded jabs with your ride until the humidity of the night air got a little too persistent to ignore. Damn you, Brooklyn. 

“See you tomorrow?” Mirage never said goodnight. He only ever asked when he could see you again, corny bastard.

“Tomorrow. My roommate’ll take me to work, don’t worry about it. I’ll just stick my head in the garage when I get home.”

“I thought we had a thing goin’, man!” His faux petulance returned. “You movin’ on already? You just met my folks!”

Your jaw dropped for a second at the fact he’d turned the damn bit around on you. “I met one folk, and you literally said he wasn’t your dad.”

“Maybe I was warmin’ up to the idea!”

Another lethal eyeroll. Your smile still remained locked on your face. “Whatever. Get the hell out of here, asshole,” you said, playfully shutting the door just a little harder than you needed to and slapping the roof like a horse you were trying to send off into the desert.

Even as you turned to walk into your building, you could hear the way his window shot down, far faster than a normal roll. “Ay! Merchandise!”

You stuck a middle finger over your shoulder, thumb out and all, to give him an idea of what he could do with his merchandise. Tires peeled against pavement as he screeched out of his spot and down the otherwise quiet street, letting you know in return how he felt about that.

Smiling like an idiot as you climbed the stairs to your apartment, you felt… airy. You were always smiling after hanging around Mirage, you couldn’t help it — especially as of late. But still, you were dying to know what Prime was talking about when he was messing with Mirage earlier. You chose well. Chose what? Your brain briefly entertained the thought of Mirage returning what you felt, and it made blood rush to your face.

It couldn’t really… work. You had made peace with your physical differences weeks ago. The both of you got along just fine despite the size difference, and it never impeded your normal interactions. But you doubted Mirage felt the same; no matter how familiar, how friendly you were with him, you could never shake the feeling of being just a little too alien. Your greatest similarities were in personality. The closest resemblance you held physically was the fact you were both humanoid in shape.

That didn’t stop you. No, not at all. It didn’t stop you from dropping into bed after a quick shower with a heavy sigh, your hand inevitably sinking beneath the covers as you thought of digits — Mirage’s digits, so well articulated for their size and so careful — playing with the hem of your underwear instead of your own fingers, pushing the fabric aside just a little roughly to explore your alien anatomy. It took very little time for you to grind yourself to climax; in fact, it was embarrassingly quick, and it left your face hot with some special kind of shame as you slunk out of bed to wash your hands. The entire time, you avoided your reflection in the mirror.

Even with the ancient AC cranked on and chugging away, it took you a long while to fall asleep.

Off in the industrial district of Brooklyn, meanwhile, Mirage was burning rubber as he took ninety-degree turns at sixty miles per hour. His processor was thrumming at max capacity, and his engine felt like it was about to either stall or explode.

Primus, it was all too much. Your teasing always got him some kind of hot and bothered, tight under his interface paneling, but the acidic rush of embarrassment still prickled at his cabling. Prime, come on, man. Mirage was still floored at the fact that Prime of all bots had embarrassed him like that, in front of you, no less!

He had it bad for you, and he knew it, but apparently every other bot in that warehouse knew it too. Ever since he’d met you, you’d stuck in his processor, the way the light glinted off your eyes and your all-teeth smile and the way he could get you to laugh. Sure, his flirts were only playful at first — and he only did them to mess with Noah, who’d harbored an on-and-off crush on you for a while — but the more he did them and the more you returned them, the more he started really… considering it.

It was so shameful. Primus, it was shameful. He’d barely ever interfaced in his life — there was just no time, especially not on Cybertron — and never with organics. After that one night where he’d hefted you up with ease in both servos and completely blanked when confronted with your soft, warm weight in his hold, he’d been on a spiral. It wasn’t just enough to be friendly with you; he was plenty friendly with Noah (though with the amount of stupid passes Mirage made at him, Noah would probably say too friendly) and he wanted something more with you.

He’d lost count of how many times he’d rolled into some long-abandoned warehouse or pitch-black deserted alley and scrabbled at his interface panel to pressurize his spike before he feverishly, frantically humped his fisted servo for relief, mental processors supplying increasingly filthy fantasies of your soft skin against his chassis and your mouth, Primus, your mouth on his own, on his spike, wherever, he didn’t care. Every single time, though, after coming down from his high with steam pouring off his lax frame, he felt just a little more discouraged than the last — because he knew that his fantasies would have to stay that way. Fantasies. Your friendship was enough, had to be, no matter how bad he wanted you, because he’d be damned to the Pit before he scared you off by being stupid and admitting his feelings.

Ugh. Ugh. He took another corner too hard and felt his tires shriek, let the burn travel upward and reverberate in his frame. The chaos in his mental processors quieted as he neared HQ. All he knew was that it was late, and he couldn’t be too loud or Prime would get on his ass for interrupting his stasis.

Can’t believe your dad made fun of you in front of me. Your voice played, unbidden, from some file that popped open in his memory bank. He willed it away with a vengeance as he rolled into the warehouse-turned-headquarters as quietly as he could, transforming as soon as the door was shut and stretching out his back. Clicking echoed off the walls as his spinal struts reset, and the residual burn in his scraped tires tingled.

Mirage turned, and—

Yelped. Bumblebee was standing right there, shoulder against the wall and fiddling with some holographic projection from his forearm. Mirage coughed into his clenched servo to preserve what was left of his dignity.

“‘Sup,” he greeted through gritted denta. “I, uh, didn’t see you there, man. How’s it hangin’?”

Bee gave him a flatly unamused look that communicated ‘No shit, you didn’t see me.’ very well. The projection phased out of existence and left the two of them in the dimmed space in some kind of standoff.

“Well, y’know, beauty stasis and everything, I’m just gonna—“

“I wanna know, what you’re feeling! Tell me what’s your mind!” burbled Bee’s radio in place of his voice. Mirage jerked back for a second, not expecting Information Society at whatever unholy hour of the morning it was.

“Look, man, I don’t really wanna talk about—“

“There are some things you can’t hide!” insisted the same song. Bee gestured for Mirage to talk. Clearly he wanted to know.

This was as good a time as ever to spill, he guessed.

Mirage groaned and clasped both of his servos over his face after explaining the bones of it, his head tilted upwards, optics fruitlessly searching the water-stained warehouse ceiling for a solution to his problem. His… very human, very embarrassing problem.

Not that he thought you were embarrassing— not at all, never. But Prime would have his head over falling for a human. Okay, well, maybe not his head; it was more like Mirage would be in for a lengthy disapproving speech about responsibilities and goals and distractions, and Primus, just thinking about it made the former option of decapitation the preferable one. Even though he seemed to approve of his choice, considering what he’d said earlier, the ‘Bots were still at war, and there wasn’t time for human distractions. Literal human distractions.

It wasn’t like he could help it. You were funny, okay? And smart. And you teased him in just the right way that made his cooling fans sputter, and you were so curious about… everything about him, he thought, remembering your impromptu Cybertronian anatomy lesson with a hot flash in his processor. He couldn’t help but be flattered by your attention.

“Ugh, Bee, I don’t know what to do, man,” he said despairingly after a moment, pacing in circles in front of said squat yellow bot leaned against the nearby concrete wall. “I mean, look at this, she’d be missin’ out if she said no,” he added, arrogance staining his words in an attempt to console himself. It didn’t work; insecurity eviscerated his bravado moments after he said it. “Or… I guess we’d both be, huh.” A short, self-deprecating laugh left him.

Mirage wasn’t entirely sure why he’d come to Bee of all bots for advice, but he was sure as shit not going to Optimus after today, and Arcee would have just told him anyway. Plus, considering that Wheeljack wasn’t even in the country at the moment, his options were slim. Besides, Bee had… experience with this sort of thing. Dealing with humans and all. Just… not in this way. But it was close enough, and Mirage was totally lost; if he thought about it by himself for any longer, his processors were going to fry.

Speaking of, Bee tittered through his gutted voice synthesizer to get Mirage’s attention. Expression drawn into a very human grimace, Mirage turned to face his friend, servos planted firmly on his hips.

“Well, you gotta tell her— wanna know what love is— want you to show me,” Bee’s radio clipped, first from a talk show, then from a nearby station, and Mirage felt energon surge to his face in a hot rush at a very personal song being blared back at him.

He had the words memorized at this point. The shape of them was practically burned into his memory files, considering how much he played it for you. It was reserved for days on both ends of the spectrum, bad and good; Mirage would pick you up in his alt-mode and take you for joyrides across the city, flying over the Brooklyn Bridge at daredevil speeds, all the while blaring music loud enough to make your head pound.

The two of you had discovered a few favorites, but the Foreigner song was at the top of the list, right next to Careless Whisper, of course. The sound of your voice belting at the top of your lungs, softened with that specific human accent, thrumming and reverberating through your chest— you sounded so alive, but so different from what he was accustomed to.

“Dude—” Mirage nearly barked, voice up a full octave before clearing his synthesizer into his fist and repeating himself. “Dude. I can’t just do that. Aliens— we’re aliens. Well. She’s an alien, too, I guess, but we,” he paused to gesture frantically between himself and Bee, “are the aliens here. I don’t really think humans are into the whole giant robot thing.”

“Noah?” Bee played a clip of Mirage’s own voice back at him questioningly.

“Yeah, well, Noah’s a different story.”

With a whir of his actuators, Bee shook his head and looked away for a moment, big blue optics considering the floor. With a soft clunk, he crossed his arms over his chassis.

“Come on, man, you gotta give me something,” Mirage urged, tilting his head to follow the other bot’s motions. “Should I just leave it? I mean, I don’t want it to be weird, I just—“

Bee straightened up off the wall, clearly done thinking. His arms opened out in a shrug and his optics squinted, communicating I don’t know what you want me to say, dude, far better than his vocal synthesizer ever could have.

His radio clipped again, this time a few seconds of a Beatles song and then Noah’s voice. “She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah�� right?”

“I don’t know, that’s the problem,” Mirage groaned, rolling his head back with a pained expression and letting his body follow the motion as he paced another tight circle. His faceplates felt hot at the insinuation. “And if I ask, it’s gonna be weird. And if I make it weird, I’m never gonna—“

He stopped rambling when a four-digit servo thumped on the headlight atop his shoulder, rooting him to the spot. Bee’s optics stared him down, wide and bright blue, and it made Mirage press his lips together firmly as he awaited whatever sage advice he was about to impart.

ABBA filtered through the radio first. “Should walk right up to her and say—“ What came next made Mirage’s brow ridges shoot up so high he thought they were going to fly off his helmet. “—when I get that feeling, I want sexual healin’!”

Mirage’s jaw dropped. Immensely flustered and ten times more frustrated at his friend’s useless advice, he shoved the other bot off. “Are you serious, dude? Primus, I never shoulda asked you. Thanks, I’ll go walk right up to her and ask to interface on the warehouse floor, that’ll go super well.”

Bee nodded quickly and gave him a double thumbs up with a series of approving beeps and chirps, the bottoms of his optics flattening into an amused look. Mirage dragged his servo down his faceplates in mortification, although his cooling fans kicked on a click higher than normal.

Sometimes he wished he’d been left on Cybertron with Soundwave and all his other goons. This was one of those times. As he dropped back into his alt-mode with an embarrassed mumble about ‘going on patrol,’ Bee whooped behind him, and the last thing Mirage heard before peeling out of the warehouse was “There’s nothin’ wrong with me lovin’ you, baby, no, no!”

Whoever gave Bee access to Marvin Gaye needed to be whacked upside the helm.

Knowing Mirage’s luck, it was probably you.

He stayed out for the rest of the night in his alt-mode, wandering the streets and staying away from your apartment, no matter how bad he wanted to go. The pool of people with any useful advice to offer for his predicament was steadily shrinking; after the disaster with Bee, Mirage just needed to stay away from that warehouse and let his processors cool.

Sometime in the morning he returned, though not to the warehouse. He almost immediately crashed into stasis as soon as he rolled into Noah’s garage, his simultaneously pent-up and exhausted processors eager for a chance to refresh themselves and defrag.

Ha, he thought blearily as he sank into stasis. Defrag.

You were waking as he was crashing, though you weren’t happy about it. The eight hour shift that loomed ahead of you on top of the bullshit from last night was a pretty potent combination for a headache of a day, especially when you couldn’t have your morning jam sesh with Mirage on your way to work. Thankfully, though, your roommate was a kind soul, and there was an extra cup of coffee waiting for you on the counter when you stumbled out of your bedroom.

As you sipped it, you wondered just how long you could keep the front up. By some small grace of God, your roommate’s schedule didn’t align very well with yours; you barely saw them in your daily life even before you met Mirage. It wasn’t on purpose, of course. It just happened that way. But on a few occasions, they’d been home when Mirage had dropped you off, and you’d been just calling him a ‘friend with places to be’ to excuse the fact that he never walked you to your door. Being somewhat prescient, they’d nudged you a couple times about this ‘friend’ turning into a boyfriend, but had never pushed it.

You just hoped it stayed that way.

Breakfast was a quick and quiet affair, though you traded a few jokes back and forth that had the both of you giggling into your food. The ride to your job was similar, and your roommate wished you a good shift before driving off leisurely — such a stark difference compared to Mirage’s affinity for peeling off into the street at Mach-fucking-10. Thinking of him made your face burn and your mind race. You tried not to.

Time was an especially cruel mistress today, though. You swore that people were actively winding the clocks back every time you looked up at them, and your shift felt like a thick slog, knee-deep, that you had no choice but to wade through. The worst part about slow shifts was that your mind wandered with nothing else to do, and like a moth to a flame— or rather, like metal to a magnet, your brain circled around to Mirage again and again and again.

Damn that bot. Damn it all. Every time you thought of him, it was some stupid joke he’d cracked or silly offhand comment he’d made or ridiculous flirt he’d lobbed your way — always accompanied by memories of his body, surprisingly lithe considering what he was made of, all legs and a dramatic waist topped with wide shoulders that made your own engine purr.

“Mirage, did you go upstate or something? You’re disgusting,” you’d laughed as you raked your gaze over his pecs, pretending to eye the dirt smeared there and not something else.

“Disgusting?! You gotta be kidding me, I’m not half as bad as the rest of ‘em. You should see Bee, dude!” He’d gestured out the door of the warehouse, where you assumed the other bot was lurking in dirt-covered shame.

“What the hell were you two even doing?”

“Pfft. Practicin’.”

“Practicing body-slamming each other?”

“Yeah, want me to show you?”

“Mirage,” you’d groaned, laughing despite yourself.

“C’mon, I know a few good ways to pin a bot down,” he grinned, winking at you. You fixed him with the most dead stare you could muster before breaking into a half-smile of your own.

“I’ll pass on the whole getting crushed thing, but I could be persuaded to spray you down by hand,” you flirted back, just for fun. 

No, not for fun. Real flirt. It was real, all of it was, and you couldn’t shake the memory of his optics widening, brightening, with eagerness and the way he’d pleaded. Playfully. Playfully?

“Please,” he begged dramatically, clasping his servos together, optics enormous. “I’ll be good! Maybe even stay still!”

You pinched your nose bridge between your fingers and tried to think about something else, because you were starting to press your thighs together a little and you were still at work, damn it. Professionalism was something you were aiming to maintain.

Hot. It was hot. That’s what you were thinking about. You’d glanced at the weather report earlier in the morning, and seeing a row of little sun icons clued you in on an insufferable heatwave that didn’t have any intention of breaking any time soon. Even now you felt sweat collect under your shirt and dot your hairline; all you could do was wipe your face with the back of your hand and keep working.

And working.

And working.

And. Working.

And then, eventually, you watched the clock tick over the last minute of your shift, and you heard angels sing a holy choir as you all but slammed your things down and sprinted to clock out. Well. You didn’t sprint, but you did speed walk, which counted for something.

Such was your haste to leave your workplace and talk to Mirage that you speed-walked headfirst into the lashing rain outside without a second thought. Genuinely caught by surprise, you stumbled back into the safety of the entryway, eyes wide as you watched the storm front swallow the last dregs of the golden evening sky and pour rain on the streets outside. Ink blots bleeding across paper. Rorschach tests. Some other poetic fluff came to mind over the supremely annoying realization that you were going to have to walk to the garage in wet clothes.

At least it was a quick walk.

Patience waning, you nearly considered calling Mirage — or even Noah — to come get you, but at the last second your roommate swooped in, pulling up outside and honking the horn a few times to let you know your knight in shining Prius was here to rescue you.

They cracked a few jokes at your expense when they saw your wet clothes, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. Not after the trials and tribulations of Mirage. With a few clicks, the rest of your ride home was filled with Boyz II Men and intermittent conversation as you watched raindrops race each other down the window and considered what the hell you were going to say to Mirage tonight. 

Mostly, you were dying of curiosity to know what Prime had meant to get him so flustered. Thinking about that, though, just made you go down a spiral of what-ifs… especially considering that one of them was ‘What if he feels the same way?’

You could handle rejection. You were an adult who paid taxes. But just this one time, you weren’t sure if you could handle reciprocation. Especially full reciprocation.

Mirage’s friendship was something you felt privileged to have. You were just quite scared to fuck it all up and lose out on all the things that made being his friend worth it — including him. Jaw tightening, you blinked and looked away from the window. No use stewing in it.

At home, your dinner was quick and light — something in a Tupperware that you didn’t look at too hard after microwaving. When your roommate asked about your rush, you came up with some lame excuse about hanging out with Noah, waving your hand dismissively.

Don’t worry about me. I’m going to go break Hynek’s scale of close encounters. Don’t worry about it though.

“In this weather? You’ll be soaked thirty seconds out the door. You were soaked thirty seconds out the door.”

“I’ll bring an umbrella,” you said, barely listening to them over the cacophony of your own thoughts. Mirage. Mirage. Mirage. I’m seeing him tonight. I’m talking to him tonight. I’m not going to pussy out of anything tonight. Now or never. “The place is like two blocks up the street, I’ll live.”

“If you’re so inclined to catch a cold, I’m not gonna stop you. Not making you chicken soup, though.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you snarked affectionately, and the last thing you heard before exiting your apartment was their familiar laughter. That bolstered you somewhat.

Even if the rain whipping at your face made you reconsider your stupid horny stubbornness.

Only two blocks felt more like two dozen as you tucked your chin to your chest and gripped your hood to keep the wind from snatching it off your head; in your other hand you white-knuckled your umbrella to keep it from tilting the wrong angle and washing water down your back. Thunder rattled your bones more than once and made you think offhandedly of Kris, the poor kid. He hated storms but refused to admit it out of pride; he was probably curled up in a ball under his covers right now trying to block out the worst of the noise. And you thought of Noah alongside him just out of pure association, and you weren’t sure what made your stomach turn, but it did.

God, you hoped Noah wasn’t with Mirage right now. You didn’t want to slam the door open to the garage soaking wet and wrestle Mirage’s true feelings out of him while Noah spectated. Wrestle. Soaking wet.

Fuck my life.

The side door to the garage was jammed like it always was, even after you unlocked it, and you huddled against it to stay under the mediocre cover of the awning as you shoved your shoulder into it to force it open. Old metal hinges wailed as you ground them open, and the blessed dry warmth of the garage — the temperature always heightened with Mirage’s presence — sighed against your freezing skin as you wormed your way inside. 

“Mirage?” you called tentatively as you leaned back against the door to get it to shut and latch. A beat passed before your senses came to you and your hand fumbled behind you to lock it. Not for sordid reasons, honestly. You just didn’t want anyone to even have the chance of walking in on Mirage when he wasn’t folded into a Porsche.

Speaking of, you saw him then, pacing around the garage and seemingly very involved in a conversation with himself. Although the rain outside provided a dull roar of background noise, the whirs and clicks of his actuators and soft whooms of his pedes against the concrete filled your ears with their familiarity. It was Mirage, and you knew Mirage, and it helped dull the edge of abject nervousness in your gut.

He cut a sharp figure under the hanging ceiling lights, making sure to duck and avoid smacking his helm on them. When those bright blue optics registered your existence, you swore they flared with delight; he said your name with such enthusiasm it almost made you excited. For what, exactly, you didn’t know. “Hey, sugar, what’s k— Primus, you, uh, swim on your way here? Or do I just make you that wet? Cuz I appreciate the compliment.” He grinned wolfishly at you. Sparks flew off your rubbed-raw nerves.

The unimpressed stare you gave him was lethal. “That is not how that works,” you said, shaking your umbrella off on the floor and setting it against the wall to drip dry. “All the wetness is— would be in one place, dumbass.”

“Sorry. Wasn’t paying attention during my anatomy lessons. Wanna reteach ‘em to me? I’ll behave, swear on my spark.”

A scoff. “When have you ever behaved in your life?”

“When it counts! C’mon, you know you like it,” he said, gesturing down the length of his body with a flourish of his servo. “I mean, what isn’t there to like?”

“If I answer that question, I’ll hurt your feelings.” Excess rainwater dripped off your jacket as you peeled it off. Mirage’s optics followed the motion intently.

Amber lighting nearly glowed against the sleek metal of his torso. So what if your own eyes had wandered down it at his emphasis? He’d invited it. Expressly. He loved your attention, loved flaunting everything about himself just for a glance his way from you, for anything you’d give him.

It took him a second to register your words. He gasped and clasped a servo over his chassis— his spark, you remembered that from your own anatomy lesson a few weeks ago. “Gonna break my spark talkin’ like that. I hurt your feelings or something, sugar? What’s got you so bent?” With his question, he sank into a deep squat, draping his forearm over his thigh and leaning close to you.

A deep exhale left you. Your shoulders deflated. “It’s not you. Just the weather.” A short huff of a laugh, barely humorous, left you. “I mean, look at me.” You held your arms out and spun in a slow circle, errant droplets flying in every direction. “I look like a drowned rat.”

The lightbulb over his head was nearly visible. “You, uh, want a hand drying off?”

You stopped dead in your tracks. Your hands fell to your sides. Something akin to lightning danced up your spine.

“What?”

“Hold on, hold on, I got an idea,” he said,  holding his hand out at you to tell you to wait, excitement ramping up in his voice. What the hell was he planning? Nothing good, you figured. Or hoped.

Otherwise harsh sounds of metal against metal were softened by the alien chirrs and trills of the mechanical viscera working in his chassis as he settled on the ground in a sitting position. His back was leaned against the wall, carefully adjusted so his darling paint job was away from the rough concrete. To keep his balance, he rested against his tires and scooched his hips away from the wall, kicking his long legs out with a flourish and gesturing at his lap.

Although he was shorter this way, it was still a climb you didn't want to make while you were damp and the general slip hazard was high. “Can you give me a lift so I can see whatever shit you’re planning?”

“I got you, sugar, don’t even worry about it. Just hang on,” came the reply, and your brain blanked just a little at the feeling of his servos on you again, picking you up just like they had done on that night two weeks ago. With zero effort — seriously, you didn’t even hear any mechanical creaking — you were scooped upwards.

Your damp clothes clung to your body, a fact both you and Mirage were painfully aware of; the chill of the soaked fabric contrasted against that fascinating living heat of your skin nearly made the sensors in his servos short-circuit. He’d thought about this, exactly this, so much that it had probably worn a path into his neural processors. So soft. You were so soft.

A shudder ran up his spinal strut and he prayed you didn’t notice.

You were set down with your feet firmly on the flat tops of his thighs, ignoring the slight wobble in your knees. Arms raised a bit for balance, you looked down at the living machinery beneath you. The flight paths of the butterflies in your stomach grew more frantic. Broad servos released you from their hold, but they didn’t leave; no, they skated down, down, down until they settled on the flare of your hips and stayed. They were so heavy.

A breath caught in your throat like a wild animal in a trap. “If I fall, I’m gonna be so pissed off. You know that, right?” Anything to make this more normal. You had no idea how you kept the shake out of your voice.

“Relaaax, hot stuff, I’m on it. I got it, I got it,” he replied, his voice a full octave lower than what you were used to. “‘sides, I’m Mirage, remember? Protecting humans is kinda my thing.”

You scoffed. “Not with the way you drive.”

“Hey, I drive perfectly fine! You’re the one who’s scared of fun.” His servos left your hips to brace themselves on the floor. “Mirage, don’t drive so fast! Mirage, that’s a red light! Mirage, there are cops behind us!” His voice pitched up into something high and nasally to poorly, poorly mimic yours.

It was your turn to be affronted, though your mouth was open in a disbelieving sort of smile. “I don’t even sound like that, you fucker! And sorry for trying to keep us from getting arrested!”

“I dunno, you all sorta sound the same to our audio processors.” He was lying, and blatantly so. He had the distinct tone and pitch of your voice memorized down to the wavelength. “And besides, we wouldn’t get arrested.” His own voice took on a smug, self-satisfied edge, accompanied by the raise of his brow ridges.

“Oh, really? Why’s that? Please, enlighten me,” you snarked, crossing your arms over your chest and staring him down. In response, he leaned his head in, closer to you, closer than you expected, and an insufferable smirk crawled across his faceplates.

“Cuz cop cars can’t drive that fast,” he whispered conspiratorially, like it was a clever response.

What should have been a minute movement — just a shift of the head — actually became very noticeable on a twelve-foot-frame; his hips repositioned of their own accord to account for the redistribution of weight, and the change was enough to trip you up. Especially when you had been leaning in already to match his movement.

The world tilted as you started to fall forward; fearing injury or worse by tumbling off your semi-precarious perch, you jammed your hands out in front of you—

And slammed your palms directly on his chassis. It was all very fast after that. Mortified, you stared down at the planes of metal beneath you, feeling heat creep up, up, up your neck and seep into your face. Mirage had cursed above you out of surprise, and you felt the displacement of air as his servo shot up behind your back and hovered. Right there. He was right there, and he always would be.

You raised your head and made eye contact, and you knew it was over. His optics were wide with surprise, and they searched your face for any expression of pain or discontent. They cycled once, seeing none, and then flickered down to your lips.

He was so done for. Something in his expression sagged at your proximity; in his field of view, he saw an alert stating that his internal temperature was rising beyond ideal levels, and he would have laughed if not for you. Finally. Finally. Finally. He was half-expecting this to be a dream, something cooked up by his fried processors that he would wake up from any minute now. 

His servo was still hovering over your back.

“Can I—“

“Yes,” you said immediately in a sharp exhale — before he could even get the question out — and there it all went.

He surged forward like a flood from a dam, closing the distance between the both of you with a hungry rev of his engine. Explaining the logistics of it would sound silly; all you could do was go with the flow, just like every other time you’d ever kissed someone. All you knew was that it was satisfying, supremely so, and completely encompassing. Every sense was filled by him, and you realized with a kick of your heart that you never wanted it any other way.

Though your hand shook, you shoved past the fear and indulged in everything you had wanted for weeks, let yourself sink deep into that pit of want and refused to come up for air. Your fingers skated his curves and edges; you brought your palm up to the sharp angles of his jaw and smoothed it upward until it ran over the curve of his cheek.

He reacted to your touch like it was a live wire. Minute jerks of excitement ran through his frame, and when your hand rested on the side of his face, he tilted his helm into the kiss with barely restrained excitement. He was so careful, it made something inside you purr. That kind of caution was only reserved for something precious. You were precious. He couldn’t ever risk hurting you. Especially not by his own hand.

First impression was that his lips were far softer than you’d ever assumed. Pliable, hot metal pressed greedily against your mouth — more, more, more was a mantra echoed wordlessly between the both of you. The hovering servo came to rest on your back, pushing your front against his chassis as you shifted up on your toes to keep the angle of the kiss correct. Digits splayed against the planes of skin they found there, pressing down to feel your warmth — your heart slammed against your ribs so hard that Mirage could probably feel it against his palm.

With a hot flash, you wondered if the metal of his lips would bear the dent of your teeth from a bite. So you bit. It was more of a playful nip than anything, but the reaction you got was so instantaneous it was like Mirage had been waiting for it. Again, his engine throttled, the powerful rumble surging through you as his servo pinned you to his chassis. Against your mouth, his lips ticked up into a smile.

Air. You needed air. He let you pull away with no resistance, though his head did trail after your mouth for a moment.

You let your forehead sink down and rest against the top of his chassis for a moment; the condensation from your breath fogged the metal. Out of nowhere, manic giggles erupted from you. They shook your body incessantly as you rose and fell in time with Mirage’s heavy vents, your knees feeling weak and mind frazzled. From one kiss. One.

Laughter rocked his frame too, short chuckles of disbelief as his thumb rubbed circles into your back.

“Oh my god,” you murmured into the warm metal beneath you through shocks of giggles.

“Not exactly, but, eh, I’ll take it,” Mirage replied above you, and while he laughed at his own joke, you groaned and whacked him lightly with a palm. It wasn’t like he was unaffected though — far from it, in fact, judging from the steadily heating chassis beneath you and the tinge of static fringing his words.

“Bring me up,” you said hoarsely, twisting an arm behind you to paw at the servo on your back.

Without question, his other servo came up and curled under your thighs, hoisting you up so that his face was easier to reach. With most of your body now resting on his chassis and very much secured in his grip, you grasped his face in both your palms; he leaned so far into your touch with a shaky ex-vent that your noses almost brushed.

“Again?”

“Yeah, again,” he agreed, and this time you pulled him in, fingers hooking in some unseen seam behind his jaw as you crushed your mouth against his. Hunger, latent and now finally triggered, drove you closer, as close as you physically could, until your skin was starting to hurt from the random edges being pressed into it.

Curious above all else, you licked your tongue into the front of his mouth. The searing heat inside surprised you; it teetered on the edge of uncomfortable and reminded you very much of your computer at home when it ran for too long, with that special kind of mechanical stress and burning warmth that only came with overworked processors.

“‘S like that, is it?” he murmured into your mouth with a grin, his engine kicking up a notch and the vibration of his chassis hitting you very nicely right where you needed it most. You made some soft noise, half-gasp, half-groan, and hiked one of your legs up so it was bent at the knee, flattening your hips against his chest and fuck, there it was. The consistent rumble of his motor pressed a steady vibration right into your cunt over the seam of your jeans; a particular grind made you gasp and falter as you rolled your clit against the line of denim and held it there.

“Whoa-ho-ho! Heyyy, hot stuff, something feel good down there?” His voice was bursting at the seams with some rich kind of excitement; you breathed into his neck cabling as your hips jerked a little against his chassis. One servo pawed at your ass, clumsy with its eagerness, gripping and massaging the soft flesh it found there with intent.

Experimentally, his servo pressed down, pushing your pelvis down with it, and the pressure on your clit pulled a groan of satisfaction out of you that had his cooling fans sputter.

“Fuck,” you hissed through gritted teeth, and before he could say something stupid, you leaned your head down and pressed kisses to the delicate cabling of his neck.

A delighted noise rattled out of him, and his helm rolled back against the wall to allow you more access. Impatient, your kisses soon turned to bites, playful nips that tugged at the sensitive wiring and made his body jolt beneath yours like he’d been shocked. To your utter delight, you found that Mirage’s proclivity for talking extended to situations like these, too — noises streamed from his mouth as your curious teeth and hands worked over such a fragile part of his anatomy in ways that only a human could.

“Oh, Primus, babe, babe—“ he stammered out, and you lifted your head for just long enough of a window to allow him to swoop down and kiss you again, feverishly now.

Something thick and wet prodded past your teeth experimentally. For just a second you balked— and then remembered it was his glossa. His tongue. Yeah, you remembered that from your anatomy lesson; he’d stuck it out and pointed at it in a dumb way then, but fuck if it didn’t have your thighs tightening now. The hot biomesh probed your mouth, and it was so big you inadvertently drooled around it — but Mirage didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, you were pretty sure the spit dripping from your mouth around him was getting him even more worked up, judged by the way his digits tightened their grip on your ass.

You had been cold when you’d walked in that garage. Keyword there was had. Now your skin seared with a deep flush and steadily increasing heat; mindlessly, your hips started a slow, staccato rhythm that kept your breathing heavy. The servo on your back slid upwards to the point where it encompassed the back of both your neck and head. He could not get enough of your taste. He wanted it burned into the sensors on his glossa, for all he cared. Spit and lubricant swapped between the both of your mouths — you found that the metallic taste that seeped into your tongue did nothing but turn you on further.

Pulling away again for a deep inhale of air, you propped yourself semi-awkwardly on an elbow to look at him. Open adoration was written across his faceplates, along with blatant want that made his optics cycle frantically.

“I thought you were— fuck, I thought you were supposed to be drying me off,” you said, breaking in the middle of your sentence as his servo carefully started to move you. Just barely — just enough pressure to keep your hips working against him and chasing your pleasure.

“You really wanna?” He grinned at you, spit shiny on his chin. “I dunno about you, but I think I’m likin’ you being wet more.”

“You’re awful. That was terrible,” you laughed, brain foggy with arousal and general swelling affection for the bot underneath you.

“How many more of those you got left in you before you start admitting the truth that I’m the funniest bot you’ll ever meet?”

“I mean, you don’t exactly have stiff competition.”

“Aaand the best-looking.”

“I dunno… Optimus is kind of—“

“Hey!” he interrupted, bringing you up for another kiss to silence your thought before you could finish it. You happily complied, laughing into the heat of his mouth and then moaning in the same breath as his servo ground you down against his rumbling chassis again.

Hot. You were getting really hot. The damp clothes sticking to your skin were not helping; in fact, they felt as though they were going to start steaming being pressed against your skin like this. Against your wishes, you pulled backwards again, bracing yourself against the warm vents that substituted for his collarbones. They cycled hot, dry air against your fingertips, though it didn’t burn. Not yet, at least.

“Mirage,” you breathed, and that got his attention immediately. “…Are we fucking?”

“Please,” he instantly replied, so eager that it made your cunt throb. His enormous blue optics watched you with such intent that it almost made you want to shrink away from the scrutiny — but you steeled your resolve. You had him, and you had him right where you wanted. Opportunity of a fucking lifetime. You were not about to waste it.

You glanced down for a reprieve from the eye contact. “Fuck,” you swore softly, staring at the metalwork beneath you for a few heartbeats before shaking your head and glancing back upwards at him. “Okay, well— I— Okay. Let me just— do this—“

Hands shaking slightly, you balled your fists in the hem of your work shirt and wrestled it up and off you; the damp fabric lingered and peeled off of you, which made Mirage’s motor throttle powerfully underneath you. Other than that, though, you got no reaction, which made all that heat in your abdomen cool rapidly into a dense ball of abject horror.

Oh, you made a mistake. This was too much, you were too alien, too different—

The servo not supporting you against his chassis slid around from the planes of your back to your front, and you gasped sharply as he did the same fucking thing that drove you insane the first time, however many days ago. His thumb, warm on the palm-side, gently passed over the peak of your chest. His optics narrowed in on the indent in your soft flesh his digit created. Nerve endings in the trail it left behind sparked.

“Oh, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” he said reverently, voice steeped in a combination of awe and victory.

Oh-kay! You sucked a deep breath in, a litany of responses running through your head. The boost to your ego was very much appreciated, and it helped lighten the sinking mass of worry that had formed in the pit of your stomach.

Mirage nearly groaned when you placed your soft palm atop the junction of his digit and the heel of his servo. “Do it again,” you decided on, and that worked damn well.

As his servo groped at your chest, he leaned in, tucking his face under your jaw. To accommodate, you tilted your head up and away—

Only to swear into negative space as he very much returned the favor from earlier and began carefully sucking the world’s biggest hickeys into the skin of your neck. Breaths came harsh and choppy as the expanse of his glossa, hot and spit-slick, laved over the gentle bites he worried into your skin with his denta. 

“Ah, Mirage, Mirage,” you breathed; every mention of his name spilling from your bruised lips made his circuitry heat just a little more. It was so much all at once — his servos were so broad that their expanse covered huge swaths of skin at once, and his mouth on such a sensitive part of your anatomy wasn’t helping either. Your hands clawed for purchase against his helm and the back of his neck. One palm flattened as much as it could on the back of his head, trying with all of your laughable human strength to bring him as close as possible. The other ended up cradling the side of his head, your thumb brushing over the audial disk there. With no small amount of wonder, you watched the plates of his back ruffle at your touch.

Mirage wasn’t trying to be weird, but he could die happy so long as he had the taste of your skin still registering on his glossa. It was more addictive than any high-grade he’d had back home by leagues. That human flavor of salt and skin and some kind of sweetness had his processors thrumming at maximum capacity; you made his mouth flood with lubricant, a fact you could corroborate by the amount that spilled over your bare sternum. The feeling of his own spit sliding down your front between your bruised breasts made the muscles of your abdomen twitch. Fingers shaped like claws now, you pressed weak kisses against the smooth curves of his helm wherever you could reach.

Your jeans were just getting in the way at this point. The minute shocks of pleasure you derived from grinding your clit against the inseam were just that — minute. You needed something more now or you were going to get frustrated, and you’d dealt with enough sexual frustration over the past weeks to be very sick of that feeling.

“Oh, fuck, okay— Mirage,” you said breathlessly, giving him a light tap on the side of his helm to get his attention. Reluctantly, he pulled away from your chest, optics dimmed with pleasure. They cycled once and returned to their full brightness as he cleared the fog of arousal — barely — away from his processors.

“All systems go, sugar?” Static hissed underneath his words.

You tried and failed to stifle a snort of a laugh. “Corny ass,” you mumbled, although you were absolutely close enough for his audial sensors to pick up on it. He made a sound of indignation, but you pushed forward regardless. “I, um, I need to get these off.” Hooking your thumbs in the waistband of your jeans to emphasize your point, you glanced up at his optics again.

Blankness for a second. Then it registered. “Oh, right, right, of course, haha! You, uh, want help? Or you got it?”

“I think I can manage taking my pants off,” you laughed. “Just— let me sit on like— the top of your chest, there we go,” you instructed, and the hand under your ass pushed you up until you were turned around and seated on the lip of the top of his chassis. For a second, you wrestled with the denim — still not fully dried — but you managed to kick both your jeans and your shoes off. They were thrown somewhere in the direction of the door. God, you were so glad you locked it.

Underwear went next. There was a beat of hesitation — for what, you weren’t sure — but like you’d done so often as of late, you just ignored your trepidation and worked the elastic down your legs. A laugh barked out of you when you lifted the fabric up and saw the downright ridiculous wet spot that stained the gusset.

“Jesus Christ, look what you did to me,” you said with a faux accusatory tone, holding your panties out for Mirage to inspect. Two digits delicately took them from you; he held them up to his face, so close that it made you blush from sheer embarrassment.

“Wow. You weren’t kiddin’ ‘bout all the wet being in one spot, huh?” He examined them with no small amount of fascination, much to your mortification.

“Mirage! Put those down, oh my god,” you said, covering your mouth with a choked noise.

“What, I can’t admire my work?”

“No you can not.”

Mirage pouted at your denial, and mumbled something about you being no fun, but he still lifted you off his chassis regardless. Like he was helpless to your draw, he pulled you in for another kiss, though he couldn’t stop his mouth from wandering. Down, down, down, until his nose was nestled in your chest and he spoke into the soft flesh of your stomach. Shaky ex-vents tickled the damp skin there.

“Shit, baby, tastes so good,” he mumbled, and you were impressed by his ability to sound completely sex-drunk without even having done anything yet.

Your hips rolled against nothing; they bumped into his neck cabling and the top of his chassis fruitlessly, and a noise of frustration eked out of you. Mirage seemed to get the memo and pulled you away. Your body was brought down until your ass was sat firmly on his hips — his interface panel nestled right in front of your dripping cunt — and your back was leaned up against the flat support of his thighs; his knees were tucked up and his pedes placed firm and flat on the floor to give you the most stability. Fumbling for a second before you found somewhere to place your own feet, the enormity and absurdity of the situation brought more of those breathless giggles to your mouth that seized your chest and shook your shoulders.

Toootally breaking Hynek’s scale here. So beyond abduction. Way beyond abduction.

A few careful digits slipped around your knee, wormed their way between your legs. “Can I—“ 

Your thighs fell open without a word.

What had made you fall for Mirage the hardest was his motormouth. He never stopped talking; he always had something stupid to add, something to pitch in with, some silly joke to crack. There was a lightness he teased out of you that even you didn’t expect. But now? Now, for once, he was speechless. It made uncharacteristic shyness flare in your gut and heat your face as he studied your very bare, very human form with slightly parted lips and enormous optics.

His body caught up before his mouth did. The servo on your knee slid over it until it gripped your bare thigh; he watched the flesh shift back and forth under his touch with no small amount of fascination.

“Is it— it’s okay?” Your voice sounded very small. It was a special kind of insecurity to be faced with.

“Oh, yeah, it’s okay. It’s cool, you’re just— just different. A lot different.” He jiggled your thigh again playfully.

“Good kind of different though, right?”

“Very good.” To punctuate it, his engine snarled again, seemingly in response to the drool of your cunt on the hot metal of his interface panel. “Primus, you look good, babe. Shit.”

Ego boost! You smiled. Any other partner — any person — and this would be too much, this position too unflattering, your everything too open… With Mirage, though, it just felt like it always did. Easy.

One of your hands rested atop the servo still holding onto the meat of your thigh. The other slid down over your shining chest, passed over your stomach and pubic mound, and brushed past wiry hair, shiny with slick, in order to slide a finger up your folds. A whine ripped its way out of you at direct contact with your clit after mere heavy petting, and you couldn’t stop yourself from drawing tight circles with your fingers and twitching your hips forward to eke out more of that delicious pressure.

The servo on your thigh dug into your skin. Mirage’s vents became far heavier at the open display of your arousal; it has always been him vying for your attention. Now that it was the other way around, he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Transfluid was seeping between the seams of his interface panel, joining your own fluids in a shiny pool that sent sparks up his struts. He made you like this, made you so wet you dripped, made your clit swollen enough to be visible, made your cunt tight with heat and Primus, he needed you on his spike so bad, he thought he might die without it.

He verbalized these thoughts with an unintelligible noise of adoration.

It was enough encouragement for you to slide down from your clit and venture two fingers into yourself. Zero friction. They glided. Christ, when was the last time you were this wet? You’d slept with a handful of people, especially in your first couple years of college, but you’d never been soaked like this. Mirage’s cooling fans choked at the sight of your fingers vanishing into you. His thumb dug into the crease of your thigh and hip as he leaned just a little closer to watch.

Very little time passed before it devolved into your fingers working inside your walls, crooking against that one spot that made your breath hitch and hips jump. Mindlessly, you ground against your palm, catching your clit on the heel of your hand with a sweet moan that nearly shorted out his processors. He had to hear that again. Without thinking, he moved his servo over, resting the digits on your lower stomach and gently, gently nudging the heel of your hand out of the way to replace it with his thumb.

“Ah!” spilled from your lips at the insistent, broad pressure of his thumb, and your hips jerked against it, working your fingers that much deeper. Tears pricked at your eyes from pure sensation. “Mirage, mmm, just— just rub, up and down— or circles, just move, I don’t ca—are,” you floundered, the last word breaking as he did as he was told, carefully sliding his thumb up and down on the bead of your clit and sending twinges of searing pleasure up your spine.

You found quickly that just your fingers weren’t enough. Not when the reminder of his servo lay heavily on your lower stomach, tips of his digits digging into the soft fat there insistently. Although you were loath to part with your hand, you pulled your fingers out with a sigh. Mirage froze, optics flicking to your shiny hand as you spread your fingers, examining the strings of fluid that connected them with a far-off feeling of pride.

“Sugar, you’re killin’ me here,” he groaned, and you saw, for one endearing second, a puff of actual steam rise from the vents near his shoulders as he ex-vented harshly.

“Okay, well, here,” you said, unable to come up with anything clever with the purr of arousal in your cunt fanned by the heat of his interface plate and consistent, maddening rumble of his engine. Your hand, still shiny and wet with your fluids, grasped the top of his servo and gently pushed it downwards, until the tips of his digits rested against your drooling entrance. To fight the whimper that threatened to claw its way out of your throat, you nearly chewed a gash into the inside of your cheek. A gasp of an in-vent jolted his frame in awe.

“You sure? I mean— it’s cool?” His flustered stammering was so damn endearing; supreme affection for him swelled in your chest. 

“I’m sure. Just— just go slow.” His adoration was fueling your bravery. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you; if he did, it would never be intentional, and it would never be something he couldn’t fix.

He paused for a second before remembering the position of your own hand and flipping his servo so it was palm side up; you dragged a large enough breath in to balloon your lungs fully at the sight. Anticipation danced in the burn of your spread thighs. For a few seconds, it was just exploration; his digits slid over your silky folds, collecting the gathered slick with minute trembles. One delicious slide all the way up from entrance to clit had you gasping. Mirage silently thanked Primus above that your whole set-up was similar enough to his valve to know at least some of his way around it. It was just hotter. Wetter. Softer. So much softer.

“‘Raj, just— fuuuck,” you groaned out, your head rolling back as the tip of one digit sank into you, soon followed by the rest as it slid all the way to the base. Stars flickered behind your eyelids. The width matched the two fingers put together you’d just pulled out of yourself, though the texture was so wildly different to anything you’d ever put up there that it made your brain stutter for several moments as your nerve endings processed the feeling. The individual ridges and articulations of his knuckles dragged against the silk of your walls in a way that pulled the breath right out of you; your chest rose and fell rapidly with shallow breaths as your thighs twitched.

You were a mess. Mirage was in love. “Holy shit, baby, I get you this bad?” It was only partly teasing. “l— fuck, a second one good?”

“Good, yes, please.”

All thoughts were wiped clean from the forefront of your brain with the addition of a second digit. Slick noises and the sound of dripping fluids landing on metal and concrete filled your ears over the steadily climbing racket that Mirage’s entire body was making — his cooling fans competed with his engine to make the most noise, over top of the typical whirs and clicks that came with his motion. You couldn’t look, could only feel with your eyes squeezed shut as Mirage pumped both digits in and out, in and out, in and out. One arm was thrown up behind you, hooking loosely around his knee to ground you somewhere. The other was occupied: your hand clutched his wrist like a lifeline, white-knuckling it even as your sweaty palm slipped over the metal cuff. When his thumb returned to your clit, swirling clumsy but eager circles on top of it, that only contributed to the tight, hot coil building in your gut.

Mirage had half a mind to pop his interface panel right then and service himself, because the sight of you, shining with sweat and slick with his spit as you rode his digits, was almost too much to bear. The plush folds of your cunt, tight with arousal, were so soft against the hard planes of metal that comprised his servos; the contrast was short-circuiting him. Under his paneling, his spike was already pressurized. Had been for what felt like hours. Your ass was beginning to slide back and forth just a little due to the transfluid collecting underneath you; the rippling motion of your flesh was driving him insane. As were your walls, Primus, your walls that sucked greedily around his digits as they glided in and out of the tight ring of muscle that made up your entrance.

Your name left his lips in a groan that was an octave too high to be suave. The thought of your cunt clamping down on his spike — so soft, so hot, so wet — like it was doing on his digit had his hips rolling against nothing, working fruitlessly for friction they weren’t getting.

Sweat collected wherever skin touched skin. Condensation fogged wherever skin touched metal. The combination of his digits stretching you, curling in you when he realized what a dramatic reaction it incurred, and his thumb working your clit was getting to be too much. Heartbeat roaring in your ears like the rain outside, you clawed a grip into a seam in his leg and jerked your hips against his servo with breathy noises and gasps that you certainly wouldn’t be proud of later. For now, though, all it did was fuel Mirage’s ego and go straight to his spike.

Almost there. You were almost there, grinding your way towards it, sweat beading on your hot skin—

He pulled out. He pulled his digits out. A keen tore out of you at the loss of feeling, tears springing to your eyes as the hot edge you were so fucking close to fell away, your hips working unconsciously against a servo no longer there. With a gasp of a breath, you wrenched your eyes open, blinking away the collected tears and nearly baring your teeth at the bot beneath you — until you saw what he was doing.

In utter astonishment, you watched as the digits that were just inside you slid into his mouth, peeks of his glossa flashing as it worked them clean.

“Oh fuck,” you said before you could stop yourself. One of your hands slapped over your mouth; you tasted sweat and metal. His optics slid to you, lidded and cycling frantically as he processed your taste. A harsh ex-vent slumped his shoulders — the servo not preoccupied with his mouth clutched your hip like you were something precious.

“Sugar,” he breathed, static grating on the word. “Fuck, c’mere.”

Servos hefted you up, and you clutched onto them out of instinct as he helped you up to his face. Without thinking, you lunged forward to kiss, your tongue seeking out his glossa and tasting yourself with a resurging thrum of arousal. He cut it short, though, ignoring your protests as he cupped your ass in one servo and held you aloft. 

For a second, you stared at him in confusion. “What are you—“ Then it hit you. “Oh.” Your heart rate skyrocketed.

The grin stretching his faceplates was downright devious. “Hang onto something, wouldja? Not that you’re gonna fall. Just want you to enjoy the ride.” A short, heady chuckle rounded out his words.

“You’re insane— oh!” Your lighthearted scold was immediately interrupted by the press of your hips against his face and the slide of his slick glossa over the entirety of your sex. “Oh my fuck!” sobbed out of you as your upper body jackknifed over his helm. One arm curled around it with clawing fingers; the other slammed, palm flat, against the concrete wall.

A groan of satisfaction rumbled into your cunt as the taste of salt and sweat and girl bloomed on his glossa — just like earlier but so much stronger now. The proud line of his nose bumped your clit for a second before his glossa followed, narrowing so he could flick at it experimentally. Lubricant spilling from his mouth mixed with your own slick and ran down his chin; his cooling fans sputtered and spun weakly for a second as he pushed up further against your hips, malleable mesh drawing shapes between your clit and your hole.

Your fingernails scraped against the wall as your hips jerked of their own accord; the edge stolen from you earlier had very much returned, and the feeling of his faceplates sliding over the plush, soft skin of your inner thighs was doing something terrible to you.

“Mirage, ah, ah— I’m— fuck, fuck!” Broken syllables and curses streamed from your lips as a substitute for real words. When he closed his lips around your clit and sucked, it was over. It was so quick, embarrassingly quick. The orgasm that had been building suddenly snapped free and tore through you like a fucking hurricane, leaving spasming muscles and a wonderful endorphin afterglow in its wake. As you sobbed out his name, he slid two digits of his free servo back into you just to give you something to clamp down on, and it made tears spill down your burning cheeks from pure stimulus. Mirage drank you; he wanted nothing more than this, to swallow you down and leave your taste buzzing on his glossa like high-grade. Several thundering heartbeats later found you hunched over his helm as his glossa continued to work lazily against you, forcing twitches out of your thighs from pure overstimulation.

“Okay, okay,” you managed to croak, voice hoarse from weeping moans and boneless from what was probably one of the most insane finishes of your life. You tapped out weakly on the side of his helmet. Reluctantly, he pulled your pussy away from his face and cradled you in both servos, one noticeably damper than the other, in front of him.

His chin was shiny with you, his grin wide and completely self satisfied, and his optics dimmed with pleasure. If you were being honest, he’d never looked better, but in your frazzled state you weren’t sure if you had the capacity to string together enough words to form a compliment.

“I gotta say, compliments to the chef,” he hummed, and you stared at him, words not processing.

“Did you seriously— you just gave me head and that’s what you’re gonna say?”

“Uhh, yeah, babe. And I meant it.”

A genuine laugh shook you. “Oh my god. Ohhh my god. Okay. Well, put me back down there, you corny fuck,” you said with a gesture back at his hips.

“Oooh, keep sayin’ that. I’ll start thinkin’ you mean it.” Your body, errant trembles still running through it, was set carefully down back near its original position. This time, you sat in something closer to a straddle, back straight instead of leaning.

The garage air had gone from temperate and warm to fucking scorching. Outside, the rain droned on, occasional rumbles of thunder sounding so far away that they may as well have not been real. Your entire world had been compressed down to one point — a gravitational singularity in this garage, crushing space and time down until only bricks and concrete stood between you and the oblivion outside. All you knew was living metal and Mirage’s voice, trembling with excitement and fuzzy with static, and that was all you wanted to know. His chassis was making so much noise that you probably, under any other circumstance, would have been concerned; if he blew a gasket fucking you, though, you would wear that with pride.

Pure adoration reflected right back at you from his optics as his servos settled on your hips, his thumbs stroking your slick skin. Any concerns he had about Prime’s reaction to you, or to this — well, maybe not to this specifically, but to the both of you being together — were completely null and void in your presence; the reality of your soft weight in his lap was enough to short out his circuits.

Your hands slid down from the cooling fan in his abdomen spinning at maximum speed towards his soaked interface panel; glancing up at him demurely through your lashes, you spoke.

“You gonna let me return the favor?”

“Huh?” He broke out of his reverie. “Oh, right, um— yeah. Yeah, please.”

A smile crawled over your face at the reminder that despite all the poetic words you could come up with in your head, Mirage was still, and always would be, Mirage. Dazed already, he ran the subroutines to open his interface panel. Machinery shifted with a few clicks, and there was a hiss and an outpour of steam as his spike swung up before you, clearly aching for some kind of touch.

You heard more plates shifting lower, too, and out of curiosity peeked downward; something slick glowed lower down, but the nervous shifting of Mirage’s hips and his closed thighs obscured it from view.

Probably better to just focus on what’s in front of you. Your eyes roamed the length of his array first, your mouth going dry just at the size of it. It was bigger than any toy you owned, anyone you’d slept with, and bigger than his digits, too. Still, though… what were humans if not persevering?

And flexible?

You wrapped a hand around it right below the tip, and a full shudder lanced up Mirage’s frame; it was so thick that there was still space between your fingers and thumb left over. Transfluid, milky in consistency but pearlescent pink in color, spilled from the flared head. Curiosity overtook you, and you swiped a thumb up to catch an errant bead of it as it trailed down the side. The fluid was semi-oily, and smelled… fairly innocuous. Metallic, sure, but that came with the territory.

The array itself was as impressive as it was pretty. Like everything else about Mirage, it was fancy, mostly chrome with blue striping up the sides that led to a fully blue head. The biomesh it was made of — similar to his glossa — gently throbbed with alien pulses as you stared at it. Oh, that was hot. Why was that so hot?

Exploration in full was rewarded with soft noises spilling unbidden from Mirage’s lips, his hips twitching uncontrollably as you carefully slid your hand down from the tip to the base in one fluid motion, feeling the transfluid slick under your fingers. “Mmph, I— ah,” he choked out through gritted denta as you observed him.

Oh. Oh. The realization of the power you held over the big mech made a special kind of arousal thrum through you. Another slow pump had his hips jerk up once and a servo clamp over his mouth.

“This was not included in your anatomy lesson,” you said pointedly, a cheshire grin on your face as you hovered dangerously close to his spike. It throbbed in your grip, working another bead of transfluid out of the tip.

“Oh shit, babe,” he groaned, rolling his helm back against the wall. “Uh— hands— hands-on learning?” he offered weakly, unable to focus on anything other than the soft, damp skin of your palm around his spike.

He made the mistake of looking down as you let spit drool out of your bruised lips and spill over his spike for additional lube, and he snapped his optics shut to avoid from a spontaneous overload right there. The noises he made as you slid your tongue over the head were pitiful.

“Fuck, baby, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he hissed, spinal struts clicking as they arched. Primus, was he seriously about to overload in your mouth? Your lips closed around the head and sucked lightly, and he yelped. A servo shot out and carefully grabbed your shoulder, though the tremors running through his digits told you of the restraint he was barely employing. A string of spit and transfluid connected your mouth to his spike as you lifted your head, and he had to force himself to look away for a second with that same servo clutched over his mouth to keep steady. “‘m not gonna last like that, you— can we just—“

“Fuck?”

“Primus, yes.”

“Yeah, we can. I guess.” Despite the leap of excitement in your stomach, you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t even start with that, c’mon,” he said fondly, one servo supporting you as you lifted yourself above his spike and stared down at it with no small amount of trepidation.

It looked a little more manageable from above, but working with something the size of your forearm would cool anyone’s heels, even if there was slick drooling down your inner thighs. Mirage’s servos settled heavy on your hips and you braced yourself on first his knees behind you, then his wrists as you tilted your pelvis to align your entrance as best you could. You sank. The head pressed insistently against your hole. Relax. Relax. Relax.

A deep breath filled your lungs, then whooshed out, deflating your shoulders. Unable to help himself, Mirage inched one of his servos over and ran his thumb through your folds, rolling over your clit and jolting your hips enough to slip the head inside. A long sigh of  “Fuuuuck.” was all that managed to come out of your mouth, your toes curling at the stretch and then the pop of the flared head sliding past your entrance.

Mirage’s entire frame trembled. His vents became shallow and sharp, and the tips of his digits clamped onto the soft meat of your hips desperately as the sensors on his spike reckoned with the realization of just how wet and warm humans really were. “Babe, babe, babe, shit,” he stammered out. “That’s— um, fuck, that’s good!” A weak laugh escaped him as his chin sank down to his chassis, cooling fans hiccuping from stress.

“Hold on, just hold on, I can… shit.” Sweat-dampened palms slid off his wrists for a second before you resituated yourself and leaned back a little, letting your upper back rest against his tucked up thighs. Whatever you were doing worked, because you sank further, and you thanked whatever god was listening that you’d already finished once, making your body quite boneless and that much easier to maneuver.

Mirage, on the other hand, was as taut as a fucking bowstring, made helpless to his own pleasure and completely powerless to you. His optics first scrunched shut, unable to look at you for fear of overloading at the sight of you finally on his spike; then they flew open at the realization that he wanted this burned into his visual processors forever.

Your skin shone with sweat and lubricant; rivulets trailed down your body like a visual pointer to your slick sex, nestled within wiry hair and stretching so beautifully around his spike that it tore an honest-to-Primus whimper out of his vocal synthesizer.

“Mirage, I need you to— mmnh, fuck, I need you to just touch— please,” you gasped, his spike punching the air right out of your lungs. Although your words were broken, he seemed to get the memo, and despite his minute tremors, brought his thumb back to your clit and pressed down. Just the surface area alone made you sigh and roll your head back in pleasure, and it loosened you enough to take him right up until the head nestled against your cervix and your ass brushed his hip plating. There was maybe an inch or two left, but you felt immense pride at managing to work most of his spike in — and immense pleasure, too. If he moved his thumb at all, you were done; you were so fucking full you could barely breathe, and you felt the slow, rhythmic pulses of his biomesh throb through you.

Mirage had never been one for restraint. He did things all-in, one-hundred-and-ten percent, all with a flourish to top it off; the feeling of the hot silk of your walls flexing around his spike just sitting there was enough to quite literally kill his cooling fans via a micro-short in an attempt to divert more power towards keeping his hips still. Senseless praises streamed from his lips, voice whining and roughened by static fuzz. “Yes, yes, yes, sugar, Primus, that’s good— feels so good, please, can I move, please,” he fumbled, jaw slack and optics flickering with the power surges cascading throughout his frame.

“Just— let me start,” was your response, tears pricking at your eyes, and although Mirage groaned pitifully underneath you, he listened.

You had a fair amount of experience with riding toys, and you knew what felt good; the lightbulb above your head became apparent. A shift in your position pushed further weight to the back so that the ridges and nodes of his spike pressed insistently toward the front — though, to be fair, it pressed everywhere — and oh, fuck, right there. Now shoved against that sweet spot inside you, the pleasure teetered on the edge of pain, and you dragged yourself up with a vicious grip on the seams of his thighs behind you. Mirage whined and shifted his hips just slightly; it was enough to pull a moan from your lips as you slid upward. Thick, sluggish droplets of slick swirled with transfluid oozed down his spike. He watched — it was all he could do — with an open mouth and rapidly cycling optics.

The flared head caught against your entrance; a spike (ha!) of pleasure lanced through you. “Okay, now, you can— help me, please,” you stammered out, dizzy with pleasure already and feeling a loopy kind of open-mouthed grin situate itself on your face. 

Your words were all he needed. Although he desperately, desperately wanted to snap his hips up and chase the vice-grip of your slick walls, he’d rather take on Megatron alone with his servos tied behind his back than risk hurting you. Especially while interfacing. He did not want to have to explain that to anyone.

Thumb slowly working your clit, his servos gripped your hips just a little too tight and assisted; you could feel the tremors lancing up and down his arms as he helped you establish a rhythm. At a word, the dam would break, but for now, you maintained tenuous control over the mech and over yourself as you rode him with his help.

Well. Rode was a strong word for it; he all but dragged you up and down the length of his spike, earning each of you luxurious groans from the other, but your quivering thigh muscles assisted as best they could. Heat surged through your body at the drag of his nodes against your walls, and you realized with a hot flash that Mirage was going to fucking ruin you for anybody else, and you liked that. Which was good, because he could have stayed buried in your cunt for the rest of his life and offlined happily just like that.

It was good. It was really good. But even the overwhelming stretch wasn’t enough. Just like earlier — it seemed like light years away now — when you’d still had pants on and hadn’t been completely lost to metal-on-skin debauchery, the grind of your clit on the seam of your jeans had been good, but not enough. Your fingers clawed at his wrists. The burn of your thighs from exertion seared through you, mixing with the jolts of pleasure from your clit to create some new, terrible monster that had you twitching with shameless ecstasy.

“Mirage, Mirage,” you croaked, as he slid you down his spike again and pushed it into your lungs, “I’m— fuck, please, faster, please, please.” In any other scenario, your begging would have immensely embarrassed you; now, though, it seemed like the only viable option to get him to fuck you like you needed him to.

“Shit, baby,” he hissed, and you gasped as he kept moving you, legs jerking uselessly. “You— fuck, you sure?”

“Yes, please, just— oh, fuck!” The cry — and the air in your lungs — was knocked right out of you by a single desperate snap of his hips upward, his spike driven straight home. Your entire upper body crumpled forward, kept upright only by a tenuous grip on his wrists, and then he really started fucking you, and you were gone.

His cooling fans surged back to life as he slammed into you, power no longer diverted towards holding the actuators of his hips back. No, now he was fucking jackhammering into you, and you were barely moving as his spike pistoned in and out of you, slick drooling from your cunt. Like he remembered himself, his thumb began to work furiously against your clit, and you rewarded him with a gasp and more than a few uncontrollable moans of his name, which only served to fuel him more.

Not like he was being quiet, either. You were glad that the building was solid brick and the rain continued to pour outside, because the amount of noise coming from his chassis and spilling from his lips was worrying. Praises and broken mentions of your name streamed from him; he tossed his helm back against the wall with his optics squeezed shut to keep from overloading prematurely. It was too much— it was way too fucking much. Your poor overworked cunt was nearly bruised with sensitivity, barely able to keep up with the stretch of his spike as the nodes pulsing along it raked that sweet spot inside of you mercilessly. Neither of you were going to last long; not your fragile human body nor his torqued-up frame could handle much more of this.

Every sharp thrust paired with the frantic, messy circles he pressed into your clit brought you viciously closer and spilled tears from your eyes. All you could really do was hold on as Mirage wrung pleasure from both your body and his. Impossibly, his thumb worked faster, his pace got even more brutal, and you were almost seizing from pleasure as your nerve endings were frayed raw. That peak was building in your gut, that familiar tight coil of heat, for the second time that night, and you knew it was going to completely destroy you, and you wanted it to.

Without warning, Mirage spread his knees apart, slammed his pedes flat on the floor, and thrusted up. His spinal struts arched again to get his spike that much further inside of your yielding body, his overload imminent and warning signs flashing in his optics’ periphery. “Fuck, yes— yes, baby, yes, yes, ah, shit!” His frenzied whine rang in your ears as steam from his vents heated the air around you; the only thing that rang in your ears besides your thunderous heartbeat was the heady slap of skin against metal, everything slick with your combined fluids.

You responded in kind at the new angle with a cry of his name and some noises that resembled words, but the way he sheathed his spike inside you — fuck, was it all the way in? — and ground his thumb against your clit was too much— too much— you couldn’t—

You shattered. Doubling over from pleasure, you sobbed incoherently as your climax slammed into you. Pleasure crackled through your veins like lightning; a fog of pleasure dulled your senses until the only thing you could focus on was his spike pulsing in your cunt and his thumb still grinding against your clit. Tears pricked at your eyes, joining the ones already wetting your cheeks, as jolts of pleasure lanced up your spine. Maybe you moaned his name, maybe you didn’t. You couldn’t tell.

Mirage went soon after you, because the feeling of your walls clamping around his spike as if trying to suck him in impossibly further did him in instantly. His optics snapped open wide before slamming shut and he cried your name as the best overload of his life wracked his frame; the actuators of his hips trembled violently, along with his servos, as transfluid gushed into you and was immediately forced out by the pure lack of room inside your cunt. Engine snarling, cooling fans nearly spinning off their axles, he held your hips as flush to his as possible while the both of you rode out your respective climaxes, twitching around each other violently. Minute jerks of his hips attempted to work more transfluid inside of you. Brain still wiped blank with pleasure, all you could do was make soft noises and let the aftershocks spasm through you.

Consciousness eventually came back to you in gritty waves. Mirage had set your body down, leaned back against his thighs, his spike still seated within you but depressurizing slowly. Transfluid seeped out of your puffy folds, and you lifted a shaking hand to collect some of it and taste it. Metallic. Like you’d expected.

Enormous vents whooshed through his frame as he attempted to cool his chassis; coolant dripped from him, some of it turned to steam by the pure heat of his internal mechanisms. Body shaking and feeling very small and human, you stroked a thumb over his wrist where you held it, feeling both its ambient warmth and a surge of affection. And satisfaction.

You were absolutely going to feel this in the morning, holy shit. Thank God you didn’t have work tomorrow.

Mirage eventually came back down to earth, his optics cracking open and cycling a few times before they flared to their usual brightness. Lids heavy and a dopey grin on his face, he carefully lifted you off his spike — it slid out of you with a slick noise that made you flush — and brought you up to face-level. With one servo, he held you tight against his torso; he planted the other flat on the floor and resituated his hips so he could slump down further against the wall, his entire frame lax.

Self-satisfaction beamed at you from his faceplates. “Oh, that was good, huh?”

You scoffed, too tired to get riled up at his teasing; you knew he was feeling the same as you. “Yeah, pretty good. I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk tomorrow, to be totally honest.” An exhausted laugh left you.

“Gonna count that as a win.”

“You… do whatever you want.” You waved a limp hand at him dismissively, letting the rise and fall of his chassis with his vents rock you.

“Well, then, I wanna do this,” he purred, and brought you in for a kiss that communicated all his smug affection without any of his stupid jokes. You returned it gratefully, a smile on each of your mouths as you basked in that pleasant post-sex glow.

The rain still droned outside. A boom of thunder rolled through the building; the lights flickered. Both you and Mirage glanced upward. His optics slid back down to you first.

“You thinkin’ about going anywhere in this weather?” he asked, raising a brow ridge.

“I dunno, do I have a ride?”

“Nah,” he replied playfully, kissing you again, and you found that it could storm for the rest of your life, and you wouldn’t really care. So long as you had your favorite — yes, your favorite, not that you could ever admit around him — to keep you company.

[shotorozu]

ooo i saw your pick me girl hcs from awhile back and loved them! can i request something similar for ashido/kirishima/kaminari but with the reader encountering a “nice guy” instead? thank you <33

NICE GUYS DO FINISH LAST

characters . . .

ASHIDO MINA, KIRISHIMA EIJIROU, KAMINARI DENKI, BAKUGOU KATSUKI, TODOROKI SHOUTO

notes . . .

a quick one because i was getting overwhelmed with writing this one request for my comeback 🧍‍♀️ (a lil sneak peek: it’s todobakudeku as ex husbands)

female! reader

MINA is actually offended that this guy thinks it’s going to work. like.. calling you short (even if you might not be), trying to compare hand sizes with you, the self deprecating humor— she’s actually going to throw up in her mouth… 🤢 though, she already clocked this guy’s tea iykwim… she has interacted with guys like him before, and she knew from the very beginning what he wanted— especially when he tried to replace her. the wicked witch and the audacity of this bitch…

“she’s not gonna pick you… if you’re really that nice, you’d stop being so sad… 😹”

if the advancements didn’t stop, she’d basically do whatever she could to make sure he knew that your ass was a fruitcake and not interested… even if it was laughable on her end.

“let’s go my scissor sister!!”

“girl??”

EIJIROU is an actual nice guy… he doesn’t need to say it for it to be known, so maybe that why he knew exactly what was going on the moment he heard this guy flap his lips… he was ashamed that this guy actually labelled himself as a “nice guy” because honestly it was even starting to confuse him like… what if he’s the one that’s not nice for thinking this way? he’s literally gaslighting himself at this point 😭

but because EIJIROU’s so nice, he’d actually pull the dude aside, speak to him from one man to another man, and tell him that he doesn’t need to do all of this because you’re just not interested (oh, and y’all are dating!!)

“hey man… i’m telling you this because i thought you’d want to know, but she’s not interested. might never be, so like… quit it, dude.”

but when the dude pretends the conversation never happened, that’s when he starts getting visibly angry… he’ll be more firm when it comes to telling him off, and he’ll get in between y’all. if you wanted to tell him off yourself, then he’d be right behind you with his arms crossed.

DENKI laughs because he thinks this isn’t a serious thing at all like… there’s no way somebody actually acts like this, right? this is all fiction. he quickly realizes that this is in fact NOT fiction, and this dude is dead serious— and this is when DENKI starts to panic. he alternates between laughing (because not even mineta is that ridiculous) and being gobsmacked at this behavior. it has him lowkey paranoid, because he wonders if he has ever acted like that towards anyone, even if he meant well.

similar to kiri, DENKI is the type to pull the guy aside and tell him what’s up. except, he’d do it so casually, the guy would probably think he’s joking. now, DENKI’s scared because the guy was trying to rope him in his shenanigans (even though he’d never resort to such tactics!!)

he’ll try to joke that being a “nice guy” is out of style (except he’s not really joking) and because this guy genuinely freaks him out, he’d just focus on creating distance between you and that dude.

“bro was gooning so hard 😭 that was not sigma 😹”

KATSUKI practically implodes, when he first sees it, but it’s such an expected reaction— the nice guy doesn’t even think twice about it. KATSUKI looks annoyed— pissed off, when this rando goes up to you and pats you on the head with his unwashed hand, but after the nice guy momentarily goes away, KATSUKI turns to you and tells you to ignore it. not because he thinks you can’t deal with the problem, nor that it isn’t worth dealing with appropriately, but because he doesn’t want you to worry about someone like him any longer. there are better things for both of y’all to worry about, and this will no longer be your problem.

KATSUKI doesn’t even give the dude the luxury of a warning, the next time he sees him and they’re ALONE?? he’s approaching him with such speed, it has the guy shaking in his boots. the nice guy literally regrets trying to be all nice to you for ulterior motives, and he makes it known— but KATSUKI doesn’t care anymore.

“i was just being nice! can’t a guy be nice anymore??”

“oh so you wanna die—”

“sheesh, okay! fine! i’ll stop. the bitch doesn’t deserve it anyway…”

“… say what.”

KATSUKI did in fact deal with it, and you never had to think twice about him again (excluding the times you laughed about it to him.)

“ngl i can’t believe he thought that’d work.”

“well he’s a fucking dumbass. focus on stretching.”

SHOUTO is so confused, because he can’t understand why anyone would actually act this way, and for ulterior motives too. he can’t understand lying about who you are to get something— especially if that somebody is you, and especially if someone just wants that attention. it’s one thing to have a crush on you, sure (he gets that because he literally does), but it’s another thing to make you uncomfortable in the process of trying to get with you.

SHOUTO looks puzzled— insulted even, when he sees this guy pat you on the head and call you short. not just because he literally touched you and made you uncomfortable, but also because he could’ve been wrong too 😭

SHOUTO wouldn’t try to hide the fact that he’s trying to get in between of you. he’s literally like a sturdy foundation, unable to be moved— even if the guy tried to push him aside (also… that’s certainly a choice..)

SHOUTO is blunt with it. he will try to correct him on your height— even if he doesn’t need to. nice guy probably already knows that you’re not actually that short, but SHOUTO needs to make things known.

“please get it right. she’s not short.” (he’d say, if you’re not)

“you’re quite wrong, she’s not that short.” (he’d say, if you are)

and he’d just watch the color drain off his face with secret satisfaction, and the room atmosphere would go awkward afterwards (but does he GAF, nope…)

“you didn’t have to annihilate him like that,” you’d tease SHOUTO later, and then sarcastically remark, “i thought he was a nice guy”

“they finish last. at least, according to a saying.”

[kiiozawa]

and i know it's going to eat you up inside

As much as sukuna had been groveling in my drabbles, I decided to write the breakup scene between sukuna and reader.

It got kinda long, so I put it under a read more so it doesn't take up ppl's dashes xoxo

☼ pairing; ex-bf! sukuna and server! reader (this is reader breaking up with sukuna)

☼ warnings; sfw, this is basically a prequel, but there isn't a happy ending here. slight toxicity. sukuna may be a little ooc here idk bro i'm new to this, modern!au non-curse!au, reader is called princess, brat, sweetheart,

☼ word count; 1,047

☼ notes; thanks to everyone who likes my little universe!! i appreciate it. 🌺🤞

Your bedroom is pitch black despite it being late morning already. The gunk in the inner part of your eyes feels gross as you rise from your slumber. You have last night’s mascara running down your tear-stained cheeks, but at least you don’t have to work a shift at the restaurant tonight. Time feels like it's moving so slowly yet too fast simultaneously. You swear that you have heart palpitations as you make a poor effort to get out of bed. 

Bzz-Bzz-Bzz

The familiar sound comes from your phone which is at 18%. The blue screen is the only source of light: 23 voicemails and 45 missed calls from Sukuna, your now ex-boyfriend. Ice fills your veins and you want to go back to sleep again. Despite your better judgment, you decide to listen to the voicemails, starting with the first one and making your way to the most recent one.

[9:38 PM]

“You can't be serious. Princess, this has to be a joke. You wouldn't break up with me over this. C'mon, answer my calls, baby. You wouldn't do this.” 

End of voicemail.

[11:12 PM]

"Listen you fucking brat, pick up my calls. I'm not fucking around. You're not breaking up with me. You can't."

End of voicemail

[1:56 AM]

"You're mad, I know that sweetheart. I'll take you to your favorite restaurant tomorrow and I'll get you flowers again. We can talk it out."

End of voicemail

[3:02 AM]

"Princess, I tried to stop by your apartment again, but you didn't answer. You're my girl, princess. You should know that by now."

End of voicemail 

[9:45 AM]

"I'm still going to be here for you sweetheart. Call me when you come back to your senses."

End of voicemail

Silence fills your room as you finish the very last voicemail. The automated voice asks you if you want to delete the messages, but you can't bring yourself to do it—your phone powers down from being left uncharged during the night. Fresh tears start to bubble up, you bite the inside of your cheek to keep your sobs in. 

A storm is brewing in your heart because a part of you wants to call Sukuna back and tell him that you made a mistake. The other part of you reminds you that you left for a reason. The memory of last night comes flooding back in as tears roll down your cheeks. 

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

You accidentally tell Sukuna "I love you." at the end of your call only to be met with silence on the other end. It has only been a couple of months since you began dating the tall tattooed man, but it comes out so naturally that you don’t even realize it until it is too late. You quickly excuse yourself and tell Sukuna that you’ll see him in a little bit for your date. 

You could feel your nerves going haywire in your body as you check yourself out for the 10th time in your vanity. Surely, Sukuna will tell you that he loves you, right? He might have the empathy capacity of a walnut, but he will definitely assure you that he does love you, right? Except, you don’t hear those reciprocating words come out of his mouth throughout the whole date. The earlier nerves were replaced by a dull pain in your chest. You’re hoping and praying that Sukuna will just say it as you’re in the passenger seat of his car when he pulls up to your apartment building. It starts to dawn on you that he isn’t going to tell you those four little words that you yearn to hear. And it sends your heart to your stomach. 

"Umm... About earlier-" Your voice is shaky as you try to find the courage only for it to be in vain. 

"Don't worry about it." Sukuna interrupts as he leans over to kiss you only for you to hold up your palms to his chest and look at him with wide eyes. 

"Excuse me? Is that really all you have to say?" Frustration coating your words. You hear Sukuna grumble as he looks at you with what you can only categorize as annoyance. 

"Tch, you shouldn't be so needy, babe. Y'know that I don't like clingy girls." He mocks as he leans back into his seat, pulling a cigarette out of his pack from his leather jacket. 

Something in you snaps and you swear you feel the moment your heart shatters into tiny million pieces. Heat coats your cheeks as you press your lips together. You have your fists so tight that they turn your knuckles white. Despite the pain in your heart, your eyes remain surprisingly dry as you open the door. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, doll." He says as he exhales the smoke from his cigarette. 

"No you won't."

"I thought you didn't work tomorrow?" Sukuna raises an eyebrow. 

"I don't. I'm saying that I'm breaking up with you, Sukuna." The words feel like they weren't coming from you, but you have your resolve of steel. You slam the door shut as you run into your apartment building. Even through the glass doors, you hear Sukuna’s booming voice calling out your name. Still, you refuse to turn back. Your phone buzzes and you don't need to look to know who is calling you as you enter your unit. 

Once you get into your room, you yank the sheets off your bed because it all smells like him. A fresh change of sheets later, you lay down as tears suddenly start to escape your eyes. All you want is to answer Sukuna’s calls, you want to give up and tell him to come up and hold you and comfort you.

Soon enough everything in your room starts to remind you of Sukuna. The dresser he put together for you, the pictures of him on the wall, the nightstand where he would put his pack of Camel cigarettes. You feel like you are being haunted as the tears keep flowing out. Your choked sobs are silent as the buzzing of your phone fills the room. You have to stay strong because you deserve better. If Sukuna can’t tell you that he loves you, then you’ll move on, right?

 well we all know how that works out don't we rip reader

[for-those-who-wait]

Hey I think I asked you about your Detroit become human au before a bit ago but I love the idea so much! I know you’re super busy but if you can I would love to see more about it!

Sorry for asking about it again I’m just really interested in it. 😭🙏

No please don't be sorry I love to talk about it whenever I'm not creatively bankrupt!! I'm just sorry it took so long for me to actually think of new stuff to add

I had some of these doodles already prepared but never really finished them up until I came up with a cute little idea

I didn't think of where to put in Flapjack until I remembered that android animals existed, and then I had a brain blast moment where I realized that Hunter can still talk to Flapjack! They are little android buddies, they can interface and talk and be friends!! I think it would also help to make him feel a bit more comfortable with his identity as an android to be able to have his little buddy to have fun private conversations with. Camila introduces them (maybe he had gotten hurt by a previous owner and she found him and let Gus fix him up) and Hunter is a bit tentative about it at first, but Flapjack is adorable and sweet and quickly wins him over

I just now had the idea that Gus, since he's super into android stuff, would probably be a big resource for software and hardware difficulties. Oh, you fell and your arm is working kinda wonky? Call up Gus, he'll crack you open and take a look. The dude doesn't mind in the least, he freaking LOVES going down mechanical and coding rabbit holes to better understand how androids work. I like to think that if Hunter ever got hurt and chose not to accept help because of body/species dysphoria, Gus would be a really good resource for him to try and feel as normal as possible while he's getting fixed. Gus is his brother and he loves him and they're just good to each other okay? Gus would probably crack some jokes or something to get Hunter's mind off it, or infodump about android organs or something (and Hunter would be begrudgingly interested because they are nerds, and Hunter is interested in androids too underneath all the problems he has with deviancy. Like dude they're robots, what's not to love?)

Also some Gus being so over Hunter's "androids can't feel love" phase featuring Vee and Masha being very adorable and very obviously in love :) Hunter is a very silly stupid man. He will find any way to make literally everyone exempt from the terrible rules Philip fed him, except for himself

I'm trying to think of a potential situation that would parallel Hunter's possession, and I think it would probably be basically the same thing that happens in Connor's deviant path (when he deviates and joins the revolution as an ally) where Amanda (a separate AI in his programming that's basically how CyberLife keeps him in check) takes over Connor's programming last minute to try and put a stop to the revolution.

So my current thought is that Philip is basically using Hunter as a trojan horse. His main programming is to act and believe like he's a normal human but similar to Connor, he's basically a sleeper agent without knowing. I imagine that once Hunter gains access to his software (thanks to Vee and Gus), he starts finding programs and files that are labeled as pretty scary things. He shouldn't have to know the most efficient way to shut an android down or incapacitate a human.

If and when Philip finally goes looking for Hunter and sees the first android he's seen in Gravesfield besides Hunter (aka Vee), he's not going to take that well.

I haven't drawn anything for it but so far I'm thinking that he takes control of Hunter's programming, maybe through some taking advantage of his interfacing system, and locks him in his own head a la Connor and Amanda to sic him after Vee and Flapjack (assuming that Philip's main goal, similar to both canons, is to eradicate deviants). It's likely that his friends will try to apprehend him, Vee or Gus will try (and maybe fail a couple times) to delete the programming while Camila deals with Philip. The guy is old and decrepit and Camila would absolutely whoop his ass with the ease of swatting a fly.

Things will be fine; Vee is all good and they manage to delete whatever programming screwed with Hunter's control, but that kid is going to be HELLA anxious about interfacing again from then on since he's afraid of 1) losing his own control and 2) potentially passing the virus onto someone else. It could go two ways at that point: Hunter could either kill Flapjack since Flapjack is technically a deviant android and therefore a target, or we can be nice and let Flapjack live to help him heal from this brand-new trauma.

So yeah hopefully that sates some curiosity! I'm glad you're interested in it because I honestly really love to think of new stuff whenever my brain decides to work hahaha

[suugarbabe]

Hi lovely, congrats on 1K 🥳💐 you're amazing and deserve all the love.

If you feel inclined to write it, could i request an Enzo fic for your event pls? Like a situationship to an established relationship, where everyone knows reader is basically Enzos girl but theyre not dating and someone takes it as an invitation to challenge him on it because " she's not really yours, is she?". And Enzo kinda just snaps and everyone finds out just why hes a Slytherin.

Thank you for all your time and work love x

If this is shit it's because i'm high but i NEED MORE ENZO REQUESTS PLEASE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Warnings: mentions of blood; not proofread

There had yet to be labels, and you were generally fine with it. You knew that he was yours and you were his and that was all that really mattered to you in the long run. It did made some things a little confusing, like when a third year would ask you to Hogsmead and you would politely decline. It was fair enough, you really didn’t technically have a boyfriend, but everyone knew you were Enzo’s. 

So when Cho Chang started very obviously flirting with him after Herbology, you were fuming. He didn’t immediately refuse her advances, you wanted to chalk it up to him just being a genuinely nice person. However, you were not always as nice. You wanted to rip her black stringy hair out of her scalp and choke her with it. You and Enzo were together, everyone knew it. 

Sometimes people took advantage of Enzo being too nice, though. They never really expected him to be in a fight, let alone start one, but you knew he was capable. His reserved anger was one of the things you loved about him, how his possessiveness would just come out without anyone really expecting it and that he would just snap. 

It almost happened once a few months ago, Draco was joking around about taking you back to his dorm after a little group common room party of just your friends. You saw Enzo’s jaw clench and his hand get a little tighter on your thigh and instantly your panties were wet. You had leaned over, assuring him the only bed you wanted to be in was his and he seemed to calm down. 

But his interaction with Cho was perfect ammo to get him to really react. Your original plan was to con one of his friends or maybe some poor fourth year into asking you out, but when Rodger Davies stopped you after dinner, it was like you were given the perfect victim for your plan. 

Rodger caught you by grabbing your wrist as your group of friends passed through the doors of the Great Hall. “Can I steal you for a moment, love?” His tone was smooth and confident as he spoke to you. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Enzo’s eyebrows shoot up; at least he was paying attention.

“What’s up, Davies? Need help on your potions homework?” You knew what he really wanted, but playing the innocent girl card would just further push Enzo where you wanted. 

Rodger chucked slightly, “No, darling, I was wondering if you’d like to go to Hogsmead with me this weekend?” 

“She’s taken, Davies, how about you go bother some other poor girl with your advances,” Enzo had on a sweet smile, but he was gritting his teeth, trying his best to keep that kind facade he was so known for and quickly losing his patience. 

Rodger just smirked, “Is she though?” 

Enzo tongued his cheek, a clear sign he was near his boiling point, “Whadya mean, is she, mate?” 

“I mean, she’s not really yours, is she? She just wets your whistle when you’re lonely and bored, right? A little muckin’ about when you’re both drunk?” Rodger knew he hit a nerve and you could thank him for it. 

Enzo just nodded slowly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he glanced over at Theo standing next to him. Theo just raised his eyebrows as if to say, the fights yours, mate. Enzo turned back to Rodger in front of you, who had opened his mouth to further egg him on. 

In a blink Rodger had disappeared from sight, you weren’t sure what happened until you saw Enzo kneeling over him on the floor landing blow after blow. You took a step towards the two on the ground when Theo placed a hand on your shoulder, “Give him a minute longer, it’s been a while since he’s had a good reason to fight.” 

So you stood there with Theo, watching Enzo’s large frame hover over Rodger’s as Enzo’s fists landed into Rodgers ribs, then his chin, then the bridge of his nose causing a spray of blood to land across the tile floor. After a second blow to the nose, Theo and Mattheo finally pulled Enzo off of Rodger. 

You grabbed hold of Enzo’s hand, lacing your fingers and not caring that you were covering your own hand in spots of blood. Enzo was still fuming, but as soon as he felt your touch he turned to look at you. His furrowed brows relaxed and his scowl turned in to an expression of guilt. 

“C’mon Enzie, let’s go get you cleaned up,” he nodded, following you like a puppy as you pulled him along the corridors, down to the dungeons and through your dorm to the bathroom. 

“Sit,” you pointed to the edge of the tub, Enzo immediately following your direction. You grabbed some gauze, walking over and standing between his open legs. You grabbed one of his hands, the other finding solace along the back of your thigh. You began dabbing the gauze against the deeper cuts on his knuckles, assuming he caught them on some of Rodger’s teeth. 

His hands switched positions as you grabbed the other off your leg and dabbed it off as well. “Hands like this,” you held your hands face down in the air in front of you. Again, Enzo followed your instruction, holding out his hands and you grabbed your wand, waving it over and mumbling incantations to slowly close his cuts. 

“Be my girlfriend,” Enzo’s sudden outburst caused you to still, wand still hovering over his hands. You looked up, meeting his eyes and seeing nothing but sencerity. “Enzo, we’re together, everyone knows it,” you tried to keep your voice nonchalant, but truth is you wouldn’t mind the label being added to whatever situationship you had now. 

Enzo shook his head, “Everyone knowing in a roundabout way isn’t good enough, love. Be my girlfriend, let me tell everyone you’re mine, officially.” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck and taking a step closer, his hands finding place at your hips and giving you a cheeky squeeze.

You laced your fingers behind his neck, pulling his lips down to meet yours. You loved the height difference between you and Enzo, him sitting on the edge of the tub making his face finally even with yours. As his lips slotted against yours the grip he had on your hips tightened.

When you finally pulled away, Enzo had a smile on his face, "Is that a yes, darling?" You nodded, not hiding the grin appearing on your face, "A million times yes."

[thevoidstaredback]

Tim's Deep Dive

Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant Side Story

Tim frowned down at his coffee. He was right, no amount of caffeine would ever be enough again.

Phantom was right, too. Tim's heart had, in fact, stopped beating for about a minute after he took that first sip, but it was nothing he couldn't walk off. He'd also been awake for three days, but it had been a very productive three days, so jokes on everyone else!

God, he needed a nap.

'Productive' is a strong word, actually. Yeah, he'd gotten a lot of work done in those three days, but it wasn't any of the work he should've been doing, like any of the four cases he was currently working on. Yeah, he progressed them, but he wasn't focused on them.

Hyperfocus is an intense form of mental concentration or visualization that focuses consciousness on a subject, topic, or task. And currently, Tim was hyperfocusd on Phantom. Well, specifically, he'd focused on who Phantom is.

Sure, his original goal was to find the recipe for that coffee - damn it was good! - but that had quickly been derailed when he'd found the JL's records on him.

Or rather, lack thereof.

Batman knows everything there is to know about everyone. He logs it all in the Justice League Records, obviously encrypted and not all in one place, but there's nothing on Phantom.

The JLD Files had a bit more information, but not by much.

There was a picture of Phantom, obviously taken when he was mid-battle, but the town in the background was unfamiliar and old. Phantom's hair was white, but more solid looking than normal, and his eyes were purely a toxic sort of green. His suit was a black HAZMAT with white gloves, boots, collar, and decal. His features were also a lot more...human looking? Yeah. He's more human like in the picture, ignoring the glowing green where there should be blood.

Was that...Lazarus Water?

No, it's too bright. But it's definitely something similar.

Underneath the picture was the standard base of everyone's files.

Name: N/A Alias: Phantom Age: N/A D.O.B: 02-12-XXXX (Earth Calendar) Gender: Male Race: Ghost (Realms Being) Height: 5'2" Weight: N/A Location: Infinite Realms / House of Mysteries Status: Dead Personality: Introverted, kindhearted, loyal, protective, confident Powers: Sensitive to emotions, flight/levitation, invisibility, intangibility, eco blasts, basic magic History: The JLD summoned him, and he didn't leave. Zatanna Zatara offered him an official spot on the JLD Team, but he refused. He has yet to leave and works unofficially as a consultant with both the JL and JLD on Realms related problems

Tim had to give it to Phantom; he really knows how to keep himself hidden. There's almost nothing in the file on him. 'Almost' being the key word.

For one, the background of the picture. If Phantom's from anywhere the JL and affiliated teams have visited, then there'll be record of it.

Second, the specification of 'Earth Calendar'. He's from a place similar enough to their world to use their calendar, otherwise it would've been marked with the date of his home's calendar. No matter which calendar was used, though, didn't explain why the year was blocked out.

Thirdly, the file says both 'Ghost' and 'Realms Being'. According to the powerpoint Constantine presented barely two months ago, he can cross off 'ghost' as the correct term to use.

'Realms Being' makes sense if he's really from the Infinite Realms. However, why is he staying the the House of Mysteries? How can Tim get in?

'Dead' is not a ne thing to see on files like this, especially when dealing with magic, though the status doesn't normally start as Dead. Though, he's clearly able to consume substance, probably meaning that he also expels waste, but the dead can't do that. Deadman is a prime example of that fact. 'Undying' would be a better term, but that isn't quite right, either. Maybe as his race, but definitely not as his status.

The personality and powers check out from what Tim has seen and heard. Was that all there is to Phantom? That didn't seem right.

The history is what was really interesting. Phantom gets pulled from his home one day, probably to make a deal in exchange for help, and just decides to stick around? Not only that, but there's nothin before or after that. He lives in the House and works as a consultant, though he won't become a part of any team. Why? The wording is really vague, too.

Tim's always loved a good mystery.

With Speedsters, the Timeline is more of an open concept than a set path, so finding a 'when' is just a important as the 'how'.

He had the Batcomputer analyzing the photo, the only cap on time being the early nineteen-sixties when coloured cameras became much more widely available.

While that was going, he also ran the picture through facial recognition software. Phantom looked more human when this was taken, so it was probably close to when he died. (Did the dead change appearance after the fact, or did they look as they did in life? Jason suggests that they change, but he was only dead for six months, so he was probably an outlier. Then again, it's not like there's a huge sample pool for this kind of thing.)

Twenty minutes later, Tim had the results for both searches.

Amity Park, Illinois: Founded in 1690, Destroyed in 2069 An explosion, apparently. The state of Illinois converted the site to farmland, leasing it out to a couple of farmers.

Danny Phantom: First publicly appeared in mid-2004. His debut was at the local middle school, fighting a ghost named The Lunch Lady. After that, it was near daily appearances. Property damage and bystander injuries were kept to a minimum if not zero. Phantom's first recorded appearance dates back to Ancient Times, most notably in hieroglyphs alongside Anubis. All sightings of Phantom stopped in February of 2032.

Odd.

Even odder still? The second name that came up for Phantom.

Daniel James Fenton: Son of the town's ghost hunters/mad scientists. He was known for being terrified of ghosts, disappearing whenever there was a ghost attack. But, he had been sited to help Phantom run from both the Doctors Fenton and a [now disbanded] government organisation (Tim would have to make sure it was really gone, but that's a later project) called The Ghost Investigation Ward (G.I.W for short). He was quoted about altering his parents' tech so that Phantom could use it. His best friends had even been seen helping Phantom whenever they could.

If so many coincidences (seriously, try a little harder next time, okay?) weren't a dead give away, the craziest thing? Daniel looked almost exactly like Phantom.

His hair was black and his eyes sky blue, but his features were all the same. Daniel and Phantom held themselves completely differently, even dressing almost exactly opposite of each other, but it was still obvious that they're the same person.

Tim ran the facial recognition on Daniel James Fenton, giving an approximate age based on information Phantom had given willingly. Lo and behold, not even ten minutes later, Daniel J. F. Nightingale was staring at him from the screen.

Four years did almost nothing to change how he looks, but it hadn't been four years. Daniel didn't slowly fade out until he was thirty-six years old. It'd had been over a hundred years and Daniel didn't look a day over eighteen years old. Phantom looking the same makes sense because he's dead; no heartbeat or breathing. Daniel doesn't make sense because he's human, born and raised.

Medical records were shody to come by, especially for a town that had been destroyed, but it was doable. Inside, Tim found what was probably the answer to how Daniel has stayed nearly the same: An accident in his parents' lab.

Metahumans have only been recorded in the last hundred years or so. There's evidence of them existing long before that, but nothing concrete. Could Daniel be one of the first?

Tim had so many questions.

First thing's first, though: He coded the notes and put them in his personal folder. He had a hero to find.

Storyboard

[puranami]

✿ It's The Little Things - 4 ✿

A/N: I wish I knew how to write for Katakuri because he'd be right at home in this big boi edition ksdjh Rosi makes me cry ilhsm (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Summary: Little relationship things with a couple big bads, and Rosi who has never done anything wrong in his life and doesn't die, bc i said so ✿

Characters: Crocodile, Rosinante (Corazon), Doflamingo

Content: SFW, G/N reader (though Croc calls you doll... but I think he'd do that regardless,) fluff on toast ✿

(Part 1 - Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji) (Part 2 - Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk) (Part 3 - Franky, Robin, Law, Kid, Killer)

Crocodile

✿ It goes without saying, being with Crocodile means you are surrounded by luxury; he is a very materialistic man with a very specific image he has cultivated, and that extends to you. All your clothes, jewellery, any makeup, even down to your perfume and shampoo are carefully considered to make sure you compliment him perfectly. He is particular, but not unreasonable, giving you options so you can make your own decision, and he will not force something on you that you hate - can't have you walking around sulking. Really though, he values your opinion, he just sets the parameters and you chose how to meet them. In fact, if you simply went along with everything he said, giving no input of your own; he'd get very bored, very quickly.

✿ When you aren't in public, basically acting as the power couple of Alabasta (before that goes awry,) and then of the Cross Guild; he allows himself to be much softer, and generally just more human with you. Work will always be his priority, but he's not against sleeping in and having a lazy day, or part day, depending on what's going on in your lives. He'll hug you randomly, catch you in his hook if he wants your attention, and just generally manhandle you, but in the gentlest way. Crocodile also enjoys cooking with you, and is not above throwing ingredients, or flicking water at you, especially if you start it, and he will throw a tea towel in your face if he wants to. It's very endearing seeing such a powerful, and feared man being a little silly, and it's only for you.

✿ His sense of humour is as dry as he is, and either you get it and laugh along, which is nice, or you find it so painful that you can't help but groan, him laughing at your suffering instead, which is even nicer. Crocodile's laugh is basically a low rumble that you can feel reverberating in his chest, which is the nicest part of all. He always drops jokes unexpectedly, in a way where you think he's just going to comment on something, or maybe flirt with you; "You know what makes me smile, doll?" - "Could it be the fact you get to spend a quiet, relaxing day with me, hmm?" - "Facial muscles." It's either the funniest thing, or you will genuinely want to throttle him. He doesn't hold it against you if you slap him over it, the impact barely registers with this living sandbag, and he takes it as a sign that the joke was a particularly good one (in his opinion.)

Rosinante (Corazon)

✿ An absolute sweetheart, and a gentle giant. He treats you like spun glass, at least to begin with, afraid he will hurt you with either his general size and strength, or his clumsy nature. It will take time for him to relax into things, but he will; humans are naturally rather resilient, and him giving you a strong hug, or falling over himself onto you is not going to break you. It still won't stop him crying over it, especially if you end up with any bruises, but you'll hold him gently as you stroke his head, soothing him while you explain that it's alright, and that these things happen; "I got a bigger bruise from accidentally kneeing the table the other day. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last either. Everything is okay, I promise." Poor guy just loves you so much, he can't stand the thought of you being hurt in any way!

✿ He absolutely adores it when you snuggle up beside him, under his massive coat. It feels like the safest place in the world, and it's so warm - nothing bad can happen under this fortress of feathers! Rosi in general is just a cuddly guy really, holding you at every opportunity, taking your relatively small hands in his giant ones, carrying you whenever and wherever you'll allow him to; always by his chest though, so when he inevitably slips, he doesn't land on you. Being your resident tall, he prefers to pick you up to reach things as opposed to grabbing those things for you, as it means he can hug you at the same time!

✿ Rosinante is absolutely ride or die with you! Whatever your dreams and ambitions, he will do everything in his power to try and help you achieve them. The only caveat is that he will also do the same for his own mission, and sometimes that overtakes him, and he will unknowingly, and definitely unwillingly overlook you at times. He keeps you completely separate from that part of his life - because it's so dangerous, and he never wants to put you in harms way. It can be lonely when he's so focused, or not around, and that's what spurs him to attach himself to you whenever he can.

Doflamingo

✿ The fact you managed to catch his attention at all is honestly a feat in itself. He's a man who has everything (until he goes to jail,) and he always gets what he wants, no matter how he has to go about it - so there must be something that he cannot buy, threaten, or manipulate out of you, or anyone else. There is something about you personally, a fearless spirit, the right kind of sass, the patient and forgiving nature of a god, just something more; you're like a unique treasure, one that he refuses to allow in the public eye, as he is a very selfish man. He basically puts you on a pedestal, catering to every little whim or desire. At least to a point. He won't prioritise you over his machinations, and he can't be soft and tender with you on command. He'll have is moments sure, but they're on his time, and only when you are alone.

✿ He loves to loom over you, manhandle you, generally just manipulate your body, all to remind you just how small and delicate you are. The man is a predator, let's be real, and you will never forget that while you are his favourite, you are still prey in his eyes. While he likes the look of you being the small, timid thing he expects from prey, he adores your looks of defiance, refusing to cower before him. It's part of what proves that you are above everyone else, excluding himself of course, and that you are worthy of his attention. You can sass him, and tell him "No," so long as you do what he says where it matters. He won't tolerate blatant disrespect and insubordination, that's a one way ticket 6ft under. Your relationship is a delicate balance of accepting your place beneath him, but not being so beneath him that you may as well not exist.

✿ In those longed for times when it's just the two of you, he will give you whatever affection you desire, even if it's not something he can really reciprocate. He likes you happy, and his pride means he will not accept that there is something he cannot get or do for you. That's not to say he doesn't love you, he does in his own way; he's just buried that part of him deep down, so deep it may never be found. Perhaps, as time goes on however, with you being a consistent presence in his life, showing him what genuine kindness and compassion are, he may remember somewhat and be able to offer it back to you. Don't hold your breath, though, if it's happening, it's not happening fast. He's certainly a convincing actor, and his mimicked affections feel real enough.

[luboy7rt]

How Task Force 141 Characters Would Cook With You (Headcanons, GN - reader)

Note: (These can be seen as mostly platonic but can be seen as romantic and these are just my headcanons. (INCLUDES: John Price, John 'Soap' MacTavish, Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick and Simon 'Ghost' Riley)

___

Jonathan (John) Price:

- John is a great cook when working alone. When working with you, he tends to forget that you should help as well and ends up making a ‘game plan’ for the both of you on what tasks you will do, splitting it nicely into doing what you want to do, and John would do the tasks you don't want to do.

- If you don't want to help cook? That's fine with him. He is willing to let you sit and watch him cook a nice meal for the two of you.

- Definitely meal preps the day before, before he heads to bed, he likes to save time and have most of the work done before. Also does ask you what you want, ensuring you like the recipes he chooses out even if it's around the same five every day, occasionally switching it up to other recipes he finds throughout the weeks.

- He likes to relax while cooking, chuckling softly as he watches you move around, he likes talking as well. Any topics other than work.

- He does accidentally order you around a bit around the kitchen when he gets too focused, or sometimes he'll even follow your orders whoever is the ‘leader’ of the kitchen really. It just makes it easier for you both to work around each other and do what needs to get done.

- He will dance with you if you want to dance, and plays music in the background on very low volume. He wouldn't be able to stop the smile that spread across his face while watching you. If he doesn't dance with you, he would sway his hips absentmindedly, very subtly. 

- You want him to learn a specific meal? He'll go looking for a recipe on his own if you don't have one, it might take one or two tries to get it fully tasting right, but in the end he does it for you.

- He is a quick cook, getting things done efficiently and quickly. Over the years he decided it was better faster due to his time in the military so he could eat quicker and get tasks done swiftly after, somehow he doesn't burn anything.

John (Johnny) ‘Soap’ MacTavish:

- Soap can cook, but only from recipes he already knew/taught. He struggles with written recipes, but if you show him a video of doing all the steps once, he could cook it pretty decently.

- Without recipes he'll be lost, iust putting random stuff he thinks would taste good on whatever you both are cooking. Did you see flour go on the food instead of salt? Soap ignores the glance you give him as he already knew he screwed it up after realizing his holding flour instead of salt. 

- He jokes around when you start telling him what to do, ends up just following your lead on what to do and suddenly he gets a lot better when cooking. The food turns out excellent as you both grin and high five each other when you finish cooking.

- Soap likes to pull small harmless pranks on you as well, sprinkling a bit of flour On his hand then clasping your shoulder, laughs when you turn around and get a whiff of flour blowing in your face due to him blowin it on you. Runs off laughing if you chase, he takes off sprinting to get away if you don't, he comes back after three minutes with a grin.

- If you did chase him, you two forget about the time and end up burning whatever you were cooking and end up just buying take out to enjoy instead

- He ends up blasting music while grinning at you while you two bicker on what to do, what to add, how to cook whatever you are cooking. It basically is a lot of fun of just laughter, jokes, pranks and trying to cook and somehow succeeding despite it being so chaotic.

- If you are hungry, he stops ‘fooling’ around and actually gets done with a recipe he knows by heart, as always, it turns out very good!

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick: 

- There are three ways of cooking with Kyle, 1. You take the lead. 2. He takes the lead or 3. You both step on each other's feet and keep stumbling into each other to do the same tasks while cooking.

- This man puts research into finding recipes, whenever he finds one he thinks you would like it goes neatly Into a screenshot folder that is just filled with random recipes he thinks you would like. (If you end up liking it, it goes into a :) folder and if you don't it does into a :( folder) 

- It takes pride that he is indeed a good cook, he follows recipes to the T to ensure it comes out good, only adding stuff if he believes the meal would be better after having it/cooking it a handful of times.

- Sometimes if you don't want to cook, he pulls up a stool for you to simply sit and watch him cook. So the two of you can chat about anything really, the topics always range from gossip, to work, to new stuff one of you are doing.

- You two are actually managing to work eachother once you get into the ‘rhythm’ of it, managing to avoid any big issues while talking and teasing one another. Kyle’s eyes are sometimes on you when you get a bit close to the stove/over as If to ensure you didn't accidentally injure yourself as you two were a bit distracted by each other joking around.

- Kyle puts a lot of effort into cooking with you, he liked the moments of sudden calm. Ensuring to make you an amazing meal, as in the field he didn't get the best food and when home? He was making good food.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:

- Simon is not a bad cook, but he's not a good cook either, he knows a handful of random cooking information. He's not lost in the kitchen, but if he was would you ever really know? No. He can fake his knowledge, and he's actually pretty good at faking knowing what he was doing.

- He allows you to tell him what to do, despite huffing about it to you, if your a bad cook? You're both screwed, he can't fake it if you also don't know what you both are doing.

- If you are a good cook? Great, he's watching you and stealing your techniques, managing to get by without questioning anything. You ask him to do a task, he got it.. doesn't know how but he'll figure it out without you knowing.

- Simon tends to try out new dad jokes on you, these handful of new jokes he came up with so he could tell them to the others if you laugh. You're the confirmation that the joke is good or not.

- Simon ends up sending you random recipes he finds online, (even if their ‘joke’ recipes you shouldn't eat), grinning at you behind his masked lips as you make a face. The hell you mean Simon wants a cockroach-themed green-slimed cake, and he wants to bake It? Simon doesn't even care he's to busy cackling about just imagining the cake.

- Cooking with Simon ends up going decent it's not the best food but it's not the worst either, he ends up ordering delivery for dessert, whatever you want really.

[vigilskeep]

can you talk about misinterpretations of wynne and zevran's dynamic??? i'm chewing on your analysis

i think it’s a very basic case of people simply taking what is said at face value, in a way that comes up a lot with your classic zevran misinterpretations and uhhh oversimplifications. zevran and wynne’s banters are full of his classic exaggerated flirtations. all of their banters hinge on this joke and they’re very funny. but i’m always mildly stunned when i see people taking that as... zevran actually literally just being horny AGSHSKKSKS

i don’t think people give zevran enough credit for how clever he is at dancing around the other companions. nobody ever really gets one up on him. i can think of one specific instance in banter where i do think something gets under his skin, which i think oghren of all people manages essentially by accident the one time he’s actually not really trying

anyway: wynne opens their first banter with “you must know that murder is wrong, i assume.” it’s very wynne; she makes a judgement and announces it as fact. zevran is slightly stunned by this and also how funny it is: “i’m sorry... are you speaking to me?” with this incredible disbelieving pause because, like, he’s the party assassin. but he’s also playing for time quickly on how to react to this out of nowhere. wynne then explains the simple narrative she’s constructed that joining the party is due to a crisis of conscience on zevran’s part about being an assassin. and zevran immediately jumps into exaggerated agreement, and once he gets a better idea, the first of his flirtations with her, until she gives up in exasperation. it’s an evasion tactic zevran is very, very good at and has been doing to you, the player, since his first appearance on screen. he wants to play on the characters he performs when they’re useful shields, whether it’s the victim or the flirt or what have you. but also always with that ironic air that he’s clearly doing a bit; there’s the charm of letting you in on a private joke, but also he needs everything to be a faintly ridiculous game to him, so he doesn’t have to be affected

zevran keeps this joke up for the full extent of his banters with wynne through the whole game, because he finds it wildly entertaining, of course, and because he has no interest in ever inviting the conversation she wants. he so badly doesn’t want to deal with her asking this that he decides to run this bit into the GROUND, and starts doing it pre-emptively to ward her off even after she stops trying to instigate the conversation. bc wynne may be a good way off the mark, and, ironically for someone wanting zevran to take this seriously, not able to imagine that his life and feelings may be more complex than assumed (absolutely classic spirit behaviour once again), but she is needling at his reasons for leaving the crows, which is the last thing wants to be honest with anyone about

making the assumption that zevran is flirting with wynne out of genuine interest is, to me, the same mistake as thinking zevran when you first meet the warden is flirting out of genuine interest. this is how he knows to stay alive. if he let his guard down, he’d be dead; if he wasn’t charming, he’d be dead; and if he ever stopped to dwell instead of being the “eternal optimist”, always instinctually grasping at one more chance to live another day, he’d be very, very dead. he’s not going to casually discuss vulnerabilities for someone else’s peace of mind and he definitely doesn’t have the kind of insecurity to need to explain himself to people who don’t know him or what they’re talking about. so, rogue evasion abilities activate! it’s time for him to dodge! which is what he spends the entire series of banters doing. but also he’s just still finding it funny throughout. she just gives him so much ammunition. it’s like taking candy from a baby. zevran loves an old and terrible joke repeated for several months solid, they age like wine to him

i also think wynne’s comments are a light jab at how zevran does get read by players. he’s not ashamed of being an assassin. there’s this great line in one of his dialogues with the warden that asks why he shouldn’t continue to do what he’s good at when so few have come by his skills “honestly”, as he believes he has. there’s a tendency to characterise him and characters like him as, ah, the guilt-ridden victim in need of a pure-hearted saviour to show him the light, etc etc, but that’s never been who he is. there’s no ending where he suddenly quits being an assassin lmao

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 – 𝟓𝟎

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘: 𝐚 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐰𝐜: 𝟑.𝟑𝐤 (not proofread)

⤲ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

"How is it going boys?"

Heeseung's voice is shaky and a lot hoarser than just a few moments ago, as the thought of finally doing what he's been daydreaming of for the past decade is actually about to become reality.

His eyes nervously roam the now fully decorated rooftop, the warm june breeze making everything a lot more bearable and for the first time in about twentyfour hour he feels like his lungs are actually filling with oxygen.

He knows you're not going to say no, it's something you've both discussed way too many times for people who have only been officially together for less than a year, yet the excitement, anxiety and feeling of being overwhelmed has definitely taken over his whole body in a way he's barely able to handle.

The thought of actually wifing you up, the way he's been joking around with it for all these months, is becoming way too real and for a short moment he can't help but wonder if it's really the right time.

But with your new apartment's keys in his bag and the contract signed, his new job as the department manager for one of Seoul's biggest companies secured and you both being so sure about it, he simply doesn't see the point in waiting any longer.

In fact, he's never been as sure about basically anything as he is about proposing to you.

"We're all set, Seung", Soobin, one of his coworkers and closer friends responds calmly, "just send us the message and we'll blow this place up."

"Stop saying it like that or we're going to get arrestedd,you stupid bitch", Yeonjun, the team's former number seven responds and for the first time in about thirty minutes Heeseung actually bursts into laughter.

As soon as those two hang up, the soon to be fiancé' turns around to look at his childhood friends who have decided to celebrate the evening with a beer, both of them meeting their best friend's gaze and shooting him two big smiles, reminding him just how grateful he is to have a found family like them.

And as your boyfriend is currently busy with something you have absolutely no suspicion of, you're thanking the people from the catering service for their hard work as you send them home with all the leftovers, trying your very best not to gag at combined smell of fish and beef.

Jungwon hasn't left your side all night, no matter how many times you've tried to get rid of him to avoid anybody's suspicions or just questions, your best friend has simply refused to do just that.

"When are you going to tell him?"

He says and looks at you with his pretty eyes, cheeks slightly flushed from the few glasses of wine he's had already and as your brain processes his question, you can't stop your lips from stretching into a big smile.

When you first realised just how much time it had been since you had last gotten your period, you didn't think much of it. Mostly because you've been used to the irregularity ever since you had started taking the pill a few months back and even before that your body was prone to skip a week or two whenever life got a little too stressful.

If it wasn't for the morning sickness you'd been feeling these past few days, you would have never thought of a possible pregnancy for another two months.

The walk to the pharmacy and back home as well as the whole process of taking the test had quickly become the longest hour of your life and as soon as the second line on your first test had appeared, your whole life changed in an instant.

By the time the third one came back positive as well you were already a sobbing mess as happiness, excitement, anticipation but also fear, worry and shock slowly took over your body.

For a really short moment you even let your anxiety take the best of your thoughts, yet as soon as you remembered your most recent conversation about the future, life after graduation as well as marriage and children, you managed to get rid of everything that wasn't joy or excitement.

You never once worried about your boyfriend's reaction because despite skillfully hiding it behind jokes and dirty talk, you know how badly Heeseung's been wanting to become a father from the very beginning. He never even tried to be subtle about it, all he did was wait for you to feel ready and even if you hadn't actually planned for it to happen until your own graduation, you're still just as excited and subconsciously ready for it as you would have been if it happened two or three years later.

Lee Heeseung is the love of your life, the man you you dreamed about ever since you actually understood the concept of love and there's absolutely nobody in this world you could ever imagine as the father of your children other than him.

And after a night of celebrating him and his best friends like this, you're pretty sure it's the perfect time to let him know about your upcoming addition to your little family.

"Hoonie said everyone's going to go up to the rooftop because the boys are setting up some blankets and stuff and I thought maybe I could make Seungie stay here with me for a bit and tell him when you're all upstairs."

Jungwon attentively listens to your plan, his smile as big as ever and you can't help but tear up at the sight of pride in his bright eyes. You've never seen him this happy and to think that he's actually going to move to Seoul and therefore be here throughout your whole pregnancy instead of having to wait three years until he finishes his degree makes it a lot more difficult to hold yourself back from crying.

Never in a million years would you have ever expected your first year away from your old life to be so perfect, yet despite all these years of abuse and agony, you've finally reached a point where life feels good and every day you wake up grateful and happy. The patience and hard work has definitely paid off.

"That sounds great", Jungwon says and pulls you into a tight hug, knowing you both will actually burst into tears if you look at him any longer, "but you should join us first and then take him downstairs. Wait for everyone to settle down or it'll be too obvious."

With a sharp nod you agree with your best friend, placing a quick kiss on his cheek before you let everyone know that you'll be with them in a bit, taking absolute advantage of your empty apartment as you finally pull out the little onesie in Heeseung's favorite color and the little #01 on its back as well as one of the positive pregnancy tests from your closet and allowing yourself to take a few deep breaths.

However, it doesn't take long for you to feel slightly overwhelmed because despite having realised it all already, you know telling your boyfriend about it is going to make it even realer than it currently feels, which is why you decide to try and distract yourself just a little longer by joining everyone upstairs.

You don't exactly know what to expect as you breathlessly and slowly climb the stairs to stop yourself from passing out, yet the last thing you expect is for the floor to be covered in rose petals as a road of little candles lights the way for you.

"What the–", but you don't get to finish as your favorite love song suddenly starts playing and all of your friends start cheering loudly.

It takes you a good minute to spot your boyfriend at the end of said candle way, holding onto a bouquet of your favorite flowers for dear life, his perfect lips stretched into a wide smile, eyes glossy and cheeks slightly flushed.

You don't even realise what the hell is going on and that you haven't moved an inch yet, until your best friend tells you to and with a thick veil of tears blurring your vision you finally start approaching the man of your dreams.

And as you slowly walk towards him, Heeseung can feel his heart thrumming in his throat, the blood rushing through his ears to the point where every single noise seems to ne way further sway than it is until you come to dtand right in front of him.

With a shaky hand he reaches for you and guides you to stand in front of your friends, your brother watching you with excited and proud eyes and if it wasn't for all the emotions you're currently feeling, you definitely would have noticed a single tear finding its way down his cheek.

"Park Y/N", Heeseung says calmly once the volume of the music slowly goes down, his voice shaky and everything about his demeanor gives away just how nervous he is, "my first and only love."

And as soon as those words hit you straight in the face, you physically can't stop a tiny sob bubbling up from your throat, genuine happiness and adrenaline making its way through your system at the realisation of what this actually is.

"Over a decade ago I fell in love with you, your warm heart and kind soul, those perfect eyes and your sweet smile. There has never been a day I didn't think of you and holding your hand right now still feels like a dream", your boyfriend's words are genuine and honest, something you've gotten used to yet still can't really process no matter how much time passes.

You try to calm yourself down once you notice the nervousness in your boyfriend's facial expressions, holding onto his hand just a little tighter before he hands you the bouqet and slowly moves his hand to reach for something in his back pocket.

"I've thought about this exact moment ever since I really understood what love meant and not a single time in my life have I associated it with anyone but you." With his smile still as big and bright, you attentively watch the love of your life pull out a little jewelry and just when your hands find their eay to your mouth, Heeseung slowly steps back to finally get on one knee.

A sight so beautiful you're genuinely afraid you might be dreaming.

"You're my childhood, my youth and my whole life. You're my home. Everything I have, everything I am belongs to you, including my heart and I want to spend the entirety of the rest of my life to become a man you can love and be proud of, who's worthy of your presence in his life."

At this point nobody among you and your friends can actually hold back their tears and for a short moment your gaze shifts to your older brother, who has been trying his best to keep it together but decided to finally give in at the sight of his two favorite people loving each other so dearly.

"Will you please make one of my biggest dreams come true and become my wife?"

Heeseung has lost count on how many times he's changed his lines and how many times he's practiced different versions of this exact speech in his head, in front of the mirror and under the shower. At one point he even started practicing it in front of the two elderly ladies at the company's cafeteria, yet at the end he still decided to just go with what his heart has to say.

Something he's never had problems with when it comes to you.

And as you slowly start nodding your head with tears streaming down your cheeks, he swears the whole world starts spinning in slow motion.

One of his biggest dream has finally become reality, a realisation hitting him so hard he actually forgets to move.

But there's no need for him to because by the time his mind catches up on what just happened, you've already thrown your arms around his shoulders with a soft sob multiple "Yes"s, quite literally pulling him back into reality.

The following minute is filled with nothing but silence from the both of you as you hold each other and take in the warmth of the happiness oozing from your shared moment.

Heeseung, who's basically overwhelmed with joy, drops on both of his knees as he's holding you in his arms and tries his best to keep his cries at bay.

And once you pull away to let him put the ring on your finger, the sudden sound of fireworks going off startles you in the best way possible, yet also elicits another soft cry from your lips.

"I told you I'm going to wife you up", Heeseung chuckles and places a soft kiss on your lips, his big hands holding your face like you're a piece of glass, so fragile he's afraid you'll break if he's too rough.

"And I told you I'm always ready for it."

Those words earn you a literal standing ovation from all of your friends, cheering and hollering from all of them exceot your brother, who's still as quiet as ever, yet never once stops to smile.

Heeseung doesn't hesitate to back away from you as soon as he spots Sunghoon approaching the two of you from the corner of his eyes and before either one of you can say something, you're pulled into another tight hug.

A hug which holds so many emotions, so many memories and so much love, you actually feel yourself drowning in it all in the best way possible.

"Congratulations", Hoonie whispers softly, too afraid of the possibility his voice might break if he spoke too loudly, "I'm so happy for you, little one. You deserve this and so much more."

At this point your pregnancy hormones and all those pent up emotions from the past few years have decided to team up, so you basically stand no chance in forming a coherent sentence which actually makes sense. All you can do is cry in your brother's arms as the realisation of you both finally living a life of peace and harmony has become true.

After a round of hugs, even more tears, from both the boys and the girls, as well as a fit of loud laughter because of Jongseong's random comment, you spend the following ten minutes in the arms of your new fiancé, your eyes either fixated on his face or the ring on your finger.

By the time you hug your brother one last time, it's way past two am and you can feel the exhaustion and tiredness taking over every bit of your body, yet know there's still a very important thing left to do for you.

After a nice long shower, the two of you quietly get ready for bed, Heeseung's hand always somehow touching you, a habit he's picked up along the way and you still giggle whenever you remember the reason being his mind not comprehending that you're actually here and his, so he had to make up for it with skinship.

"I actually wanted to fuck you to sleep just like you deserve but I'm afraid we're both too tired, hm?", Heeseung whispers into your ear as he wraps his arms around your waist and presses his strong chest into your back.

"Mhm", is all you can say as your heart slams brutally against your rib cage at the thought of the upcoming few minutes.

You don't even notice the way Heeseung's hand has found its way up your chest to your neck and as soon as he feels your rapid heartbeat, you find yourself being turned around to face your slightly worried fiancé.

"What's wrong?"

The question is the first one to come to his mind, something he's yet to get rid of since it's more of a trauma response than an actual question.

"I have to tell you something, Seungie."

"We've been engaged for less than two hours, please don't tell me you wanna call it off", he breathes and throws his head back, leaving you absolutely flabbergasted.

"Oh, my God", he suddenly says a little louder than you expected and with big eyes you watch him fall to his knees, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his head against your belly with a faux cry.

"Please, don't leave me, I'd be nothing but the shell of a man." And those words basically give you the rest. With a loud, ugly chuckle you push your hands into his hair and start shaking your head, knowing he's not serious but still reassuring him.

"Give me a second, will you?"

With curious eyes Heeseung slowly pulls away and watches the way you walk to your side of the bed and slowly oulling out a little box, bigger than the one for your ring he carried in his pants the whole night, before you make your way back to him with your grip way too tight.

"Open it", you say softly and try to drown out the loud beating of your heart in your throat, the feeling of having to throw suddenly overwhelming you and with a soft sigh you try to calm yourself down.

Seungie doesn't say anything as he takes the box from your hand and does as he's told, lifting the lid and revealing your little present to his big, glossy bambi eyes.

"What..."

A beat of silence follows the single word before he reaches for the pregnancy test and stares at it for way longer than necessary.

You have no idea what's going on inside of his head and for the first time ever since you've found out about your pregnancy you're actually anxious about his reaction.

What you're not awarenof is the way Heeseung's brain has yet to process what the fuck he's looking at, meanwhile his chest has filled with a warmth so comforting and calming, it actually feels dizzying.

You're pregnant.

You, the one woman he's loved all of his life, his now fiancé, are pregnant with his child.

The realisation feels like an actual dream and without giving it another thought, Heeseung lands a harsh slap against his own cheek to see if he's awake.

As the sting of his sweet attempt spreads in his face, the tears have already blurred his vision and with a single one finding it's way down his cheek he looks up at you.

"Oh, my God", a breathy chuckle of disbelief leaves his lips just before he gets up to be on eye level with you, his big hands reaching for your face to press your forehead against his and you still feel unsure until a row of soft sobs start filling the tension in your shared bedroom.

"We're actually going to be parents?"

All you can do is nod, choking on your own tears making it eay too difficult to respond verbally.

You've never seen this particular expression on Heeseung's face and as it reaches his pretty eyes you realise it's nothing but oure joy and excitement, maybe even a hint of relief.

"We're actually going to be fucking parents."

And as he gently wraps his around your body, Heeseung feels a wound in his heart slowly healing, a wound so deep he had managed to suppress it's pain all these years.

"This is the best day of my life", he whispers and inhales your sweet scent, his hand subconsciously moving to rub over your belly, "thank you so much. Thank you for healing me. Thank you for seeing me worthy of your love. Just – Thank you."

Heeseung doesn't give you the opportunity to respond as he pulls you into a passionate kiss, knowing everything he failed to voice out is going to reach your heart through this one kiss.

Not many words are exchanged between the two of you until you're burying your face in his neck, your eyes heavy from the exhaustion of the day, yet Heeseung makes sure to be the last one to speak just before you fall asleep.

"I love you so much. My first and only love."

(A/N: i'm not going to say much bc ive cried so much already and gotta save it for the epilogue injust hope you guys enjoyed this one and know how much i love and appreciate all of you. thank you for making this journey unforgettable and so, so special.)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @thvhannie @enhaz1 @kpoprhia @abrazosolorcereza @deobitifull @mixtape-racha @certifiedmoa @jungwon-xo @hoonieluv @enhamysunshines @jaehoonii @pussyslayerhd @ineedsomezzz @neocockthotology @heerinnie @onionzzzs @hee-pster @3amstarlight @xxxxrvexxxx @primroselover @mimikittysblog @iea-tsand @lhspeachie @xiaoderrrr @viagumi @smg-valeria @kells5595 @heeseunghee7 @xrvrqs @ddazed-lhs @heebrry @fakeuwus @dammit-jjk @ivyannemarie @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @s00buwu

[ganondoodle]

totk is like a highly polished alpha build of a game to me

graphic- fantastic, i just love botws style of graphics, its the perfect blend of something more realistic but very stylized and timeless

visual design- great, i cant stand anything sonau (zonai), and ganondorfs concept art is better than final (and still involves lots of annyoing stereotypes) but overall still pretty solid

sound design- phenomenal, it really is, the underground, the rain on the parasail? unmatched, already loved botw but they really outdid themselves here

music- possibly best in the series to me, like ... theres so many fantastic tracks, in isolation i love so many of them so much ... which sucks bc being connected to such a lackluster rest sours them badly

mechanics- working but undercooked/unfit for the world, its impressive they got ultrahand working at all, but its still clunky/quickly frustrating and badly balanced also contributes to utterly destroying botws world design- this ability was simply not made for this world and is in the end both detrimental to it and itself, bc that mechanic could have truly shined in a game REALLY build around it (... if they could manage to balance it well and stop handing you the solution, it would be funyn if it werent so sad how many times the game literally doesnt even make you engage with its main gimmick bc it just hands you the prebuild thing) time reversal breaks every puzzle/challenge, also unbalanced, ceiling jump is the most harmless but i still think it lets you skip too much

writing- worst in the series, where would i even start with that, not a single character is written well/interestingly, most detrimentally the main characters, .. like all of them, zelda, ganondorf, rauru... and the "story", its barely even bare bones, its plain cardboard with an old divine right propaganda slogan written on, continuity in a direct sequel is non existant, there is no follow up on anything, why did they call it that when they dont seem to have any love for anything botw did given how much they trample over everything it established, i struggle to believe they actually thought this was good, theres has to have been trouble during development

world design/changes- a joke, ... i dont know how people dont feel scammed by how little was actually changed, no, a few rocks sprinkled througout are not meaningful changes, i was one of the people not worried about them reusing the world bc i loved this world and was sure theyd meaningfully change it- god how wrong i was; the sky and underground are both like the bare bones with textures and placeholder rewards/points of interest, they both do not matter at all and their potential is yet again utterly, painfully, wasted and only add more points of destruction to the map in case of the sky, and both add confusion about everything, not the good kind of intriguing confusion, the bad nothing makes sense confusion it really does seem like they put some quick changes into every main point of interest where most players would go to make them think they changed things when .. they only changed these parts, barely, either bc they knew everyone would skip around the world anyway so it wouldnt be worth it, or bc its ... unfinished

game design/structure- baffling (bad), connected to the point above, but it truly is beyond me why they repeated the exact same structure as botw while removing what made that work, why would you repeat every point of interest of the previous game, i know zelda games always have their regions and thats where stuff happens, but they REUSED THE SAME WORLD, you CANNOT repeat the exact same points in the same world, you just cant, its the same places, the same characters, the same structure (aka dungeons being less interesting/easier titans (divine beasts) with a paint job in structure), you basically erase the well integrated ancient tech civilization to replace it with another, not well integrated, more boring and overly pushed into your face, ancient tech civilization and make them the answer to everything that ever was (BORING), the same story structure (but worse, like the memory system but remove what made it work in botw)- AND THEN repeat the same points in the underground too? thats bonkers, literally baby bananas

dungeons/puzzles - worse than botw by FAR, as mentioned above, dungeons are less interesting titans with a paintjob (plus an extraordinarily awful cutscene, which is repeated like FIVE TIMES almost word for word), they serve no purpose but to act like they are totally real traditional dungeons when they are not, they are laughing at you, shrines are back with a paintjob with less interesting puzzles (if they even have one given how many just give you a spirit orb knock off) that can all be skipped, though the puzzles can often not even be called that (put log over gap WOOOAH puzzle) among many awful and unecessary tutorial ones (its not bad to have easy ones, but aside from the few ones that take all your stuff away -omg restrictions in MY freedom tm game??- which are the best ones, to have none be even a little challenging or not utterly skippable without even using glitches, its like they didnt even try to stop you from cheating, which is like being given a skip button with no strigns attached, doesnt even let you feel smart bc you dont have to try to cheat)

UI/controls- awful, you cant tell me this was tested by real people playing for longer than 10 minutes at once, how did the ghosty sage control scheme and arrow/weapon fusing get through this, HOW, its unbelievably tedious and detrimental to any fun (as im doing with my rewrite, a crafting system would have been so good here ..... like a proper simple crafting system, have the materials, craft your new arrow types in stacks etc) the ghost sages are not only utterly useless in combat, but clog your screen, play distracting animations as soon as you look at a slope, you constantly accidentally activate them or the wrong one bc its mapped to the main interact button!!! if you use them say goodbye to your framerate, fights are now spent chasing after some ghost guy whos actively running away from you, they do not invoke a feeling of 'connection' to my 'friends', they are invoking feelings of hatred and frustration

performance- ... passable (if you dont have the sages out .... well, it runs better than pokemon scarlet so i guess its fine, the lag when closing and opening the menu is rly annoying, especially combined with the finger and patience breaking menues and how often you need to open a game pasuing menue, but fights with a monster horde AND the sages out? yeah no its as bad as pokemon scarlet at its worst, not to mention the chaos of having five useless ghost scramble around you getting knocked around by enemies)

price- a scam, this game is not worth 70 bucks, its just not, if you get a used copy and dont spend more time in it than it takes for you to just go straight to the main points, or if you dont care about anything else but dicking around with a clunky building system ... then you can have some fun with it yeah ..... still not worth 70 money, theres probably better building games out there for less too

it jsut feels not done, not finished, its presentation and some parts are highly polished and their marketing for it is unlike anything i have ever seen, but its so .... unfinished, no amount of epic visuals is gonna let me not think of this game being half done at best, after what, 6 years of development no less? with most assets already being there and being reused unaltered??

(i am holding tightly onto the theory of it either having an extremely troubled development that is being hidden bc of their reputation, or some sort of neglect in order to focus on other more lucrative projects, this is just all too weird to me)

[axelsagewrites]

James Potter*Misunderstandings

Pairing: James Potter x f!reader

Word count: 1661

Can be read as a part two to heroic deed here

Warnings: none

Masterlist here

Being shy and friends with James Potter was already a struggle since he was anything but however you had a new issue now; you’d fallen heads over heels for him. you didn’t need a man to save you but ever since James defended you from those bullies it was hard not to like him.

Before when you walked through corridors you would get constantly shoulder checked and shoved but James had no issues shoving back and soon you found yourself being able to walk the halls without almost getting tackled.

James had also introduced you to the marauders who thankfully weren’t as intimidating as you first thought. Maybe it was because of how tall Remus was or the ladies’ man reputation Sirius had but you didn’t expect to be in a heated debate over breakfast over which magical creature would be the best at quidditch.

“You cannot be serious mate! How would a phoenix even hold a snitch?”

“Oh yeah cause a hippogriff has great dexterity!”

Remus and Sirius continued to bicker as you silently ate your breakfast. Remus was across from you next to Peter while James was sat next to you, Sirius next to him. Peter had ‘borrowed’ Remus’s homework while he was distracted, though you weren’t convincing Sirius didn’t start this conversation as a decoy, while James just laughed at his two idiot friends.

“You, okay?” he whispered, snapping you from your daze.

Shit you’d been caught staring, quickly say something, you mentally cursed yourself, “Yeah um just not a morning problem,”

“Alright sunshine I’ll leave you to daydream,” James laughed, your skin heating up at his words while he tried to buy into the argument.

-

You and Remus both shared your first class of the day so after the squabbling stopped you both set off to the third floor. “You ever gonna tell him you like him?” Remus asked as if he was asking for the time.

“What? Like who?” you stuttered but Remus just gave you a knowing look, “How did you know?” you sighed.

Remus snorted, a grin playing his lips, “Cmon seriously? yous hang out all the time. you should just ask him out,” he shrugged and your eyes basically bulged out your skull.

“I cant do that. He doesn’t like me like that-“

“Has he ever told you that?” he said making you stop in your tracks.

Remus eventually paused, staring at the confused look on your face, “Do you know something I don’t know?”

Remus sighed, “I know the last girl James asked out embarrassed him in front of the whole common room, which to be fair was his fault for asking so loudly,” Remus said, cringing at the memory of James proclaiming his love for lily in front of everyone and getting told a very quick no. hell even you had heard of the story, “and now he doesn’t talk about that shit anymore but if you ask me I think he does. He never shuts up about you,” Remus said, half rolling his eyes, “No offence,”

“None taken,”

-

All you could really think about all day was what Remus had said. James even had to ask if you were okay over dinner because how ‘zoned out’ you had been. “I need to return some books to the library,” you said, deciding to end your misery but James didn’t get the memo.

“I’ll come with. See ya,” he said, nodding to the guys and instantly getting up to follow you.

You tried your best to make small talk, but you could feel your palms getting sweatier with each word. After leaving the library you decided to finally do something about it, “Hey you busy this Saturday?” you asked, trying your best not to stutter.

“Eh I don’t think so. No detentions yet at least,” he joked, “how come?”

“Was just wondering if you’d wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?” you said, your cheeks instantly heating up like crazy.

The smile of James face though made your own heart skip, “Yeah sure. I’ll say to the guys yeah?” and just like that it sunk instantly.

“Oh yeah sure totally,”

-

To say your confidence had been knocked was an understatement and the whole walk down to Hogsmeade you were hanging at the back of the group trying not to show how much you were internally sulking. Yous went to honey dukes first, picking up a few bits and bobs all while Remus was giving you a sympathetic smile and James was none the wiser.

“He’s just clueless you know,” Remus whispered to you at the shelves while James went up to the till, “He probably didn’t even realise you were asking him out,”

“Or maybe he just didn’t wanna hurt my feelings,” you mumbled, instantly shutting up when James walked back. “Watcha get?”

“Chocolate frogs, of course. got you one too here,” he said passing you the frogs while Remus gave you a ‘see? told you so’ look.

-

Soon you all ended up piling into a booth at the three broom sticks. Remus and Peter were on one side while you, James, and Sirius squeezed into the other. Luckily you got to be on the side not against the wall however because of the tight squeeze you were pressed right into James side. There was nothing you could’ve done though, there wasn’t an empty seat in the place.

“You’d think for a magical pub they could make more seats,” Sirius scoffed as he crammed himself against the wall. “Its your turn for first round Peter,” he said.

Peter rolled his eyes, “Do you keep tabs or something?”

“Yes,” Sirius said, and it honestly wouldn’t shock you if he had it all written down in a notebook. “I’ll take a butterbeer,”

When Peter asked you what you wanted you offered to go with him to help him carry it but also as an excuse to get away from James. Peter however was glad to accept the help.

-

Meanwhile Remus was slapping James across the head as you walked out of sight. “You dumbass,”

“What?!” James squeaked, rubbing his head, “and ow! By the way,”

“This was supposed to be a date,” Remus half hissed making Sirius look between the two.

“Since when did you do go out?”

“We don’t,” James rolled his eyes, “what are you on about? She invited us all to come here?”

Even Sirius dropped his head into his hand at this point, “Think about what she said,” Remus sighed, “Did she say ‘you guys’ or ‘you’?”

James head tilted as he thought before a small ‘oh’ came from his lips followed by a very annoyed, “fuck!” while Remus and Sirius groaned at their friends obliviousness, “What do I do now? Should yous leave or-“

“No that just makes it weird,”

“Then what do I do?!”

“Shut up since she’s walking back here,” Sirius said, jabbing his elbow into his ribs, “Hey guys!” he said, way louder and happier than normal making both you and Peter share a concerned look.

-

James spent the rest of the afternoon beating himself up. He’d liked you from the first day he met you, hating that he hadn’t met you sooner and now he’d gone and fucked it up. He was distracted the rest of the day and while the group was walking back to the grounds he found himself hanging back a bit.

You noticed and decided to drop back as well, “Hey you okay?” you asked, genuine concern on your face making James’s heart melt.

“Can I ask you something?” he said giving you an odd sense of De Ja Vu, “See the other day did you mean that you wanted us all to go or like just us?” he said, voice trailing off when you looked away.

What he hadn’t expected was to see your eyes watering when you looked back, “Don’t worry about it, it was dumb and-“you began to ramble but James stopped in his tracks, grabbing your wrist making you turn to face him. “I’m sorry,”

“No, I am,” James said, stepping closer, “I was an asshole I didn’t know,” he sighed, looking at the ground, “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted it to be just us?”

You shuffled on your feet, trying desperately not to look in his eyes, “Just didn’t want you to laugh at me or something,”

James felt his heart shatter, “I wouldn’t have laughed,” he said making you finally look up from the ground, “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,”

“It’s not,” James sighed, staring off in the distance making you squirm in anticipation, “You busy tomorrow?”

“Um I don’t think so- “

“Great! Good great um quidditch practise ends at 2,” James said as he began to ramble, “So I’ll come get you at half 2 and we can go back to Hogsmeade tomorrow. Just us yeah?” he said, finally looking back at you with a hopeful smile.

“Like a date?” you asked, your own lips tugging into a small smile.

James grinned at your reaction, “Yeah like a real date. Without those losers,” he said making you laugh, “I wanna do it right okay?”

“Okay,” you said, “It’s a date,”

“Great,” James said, breaking out into a cheesy smile when suddenly you both heard whooping and wolf whistles behind you, “Oh fuck off,” James groaned as you began to laugh.

Sirius all but ran over, flinging his arm around James’s shoulder, “Fucking finally mate told you to just ask her,”

“You don’t get the credit for this!” Remus butted in, totally offended by Sirius’s comment, “I made this happen!”

“Nu uh,”

“Yu uh,”

As the two began to bicker you suddenly felt James take your hand. You looked at him, eyes wide but he just gave you a small smile as he tugged on your hand, leading you away from his nutcase friends. “Walk me back to my dorm?” you asked.

James grinned down at you, “Always,”

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Heroic Deeds tags: @layla2-49

[kit-williams]

So I read your piece about Honsu. That would be great. And you know, we joke and analyze about fetishes, kinks and sexual attraction in Astartes.

But! I think it's pretty weird that traitors didn't return sexual attraction to Space Marines…

Since the lack of sexual desire is due to the fact that the Emperor did not want a new species to appear. But traitors consider themselves above mortals, so why not return sexual desire to them? GW has lost so much potential.

Well, yes, it will be very funny to watch how traitors would cope with new emotions. Those who have had sex or know about it, will immediately figure it out.

But the rest… I imagine how they look at women like crazy maniacs, not knowing what to do or what to say. Given their psyche and testosterone, their heads will simply explode from emotions.

If before they simply killed and tortured mortals, they were irritated by weakness. Now they suddenly started to like it. Are you crying? Your tears will be wiped away and you will be told that you are beautiful. In the most horrible way.

Are you pregnant? Will you name the child after him? Have you given birth yet? Now breastfeed quickly, and the Astartes will watch.

And courtship?

The Night Lord will give you human hearts and cloaks of leather.

The Emperor's Children will read you their poetry and sing. But since this is Slaanesh, prepare for vulgarity.

Iron Warriors: romance is kidnapping you and locking you in a cage.

And yes. All. All Space Marines will make you watch them fight and kill. Because it is sexy.

And so begins the Space Marines' Human Husbandary. An extremely creepy and scary thing…. I'll write about it one day.

Listen Honsou was just speeding things up when he was making the Demonculaba; you can't look at that thing and be like "there's some psychosexual things to be unpacked here."

Did you know that there's roughly 350ish generations within the span of 10,000 years (I have a feeling if chaos wasn't fucking around there would be a new species... then again Bile made his New Humans and basically unleashed them into populations

But you are right the traitors will have to deal with it first and I can imagine that it hits them suddenly since its so new and Space Marines are experts in handling new sensations.

But it might also be a difference between falling to chaos and simply turning traitor which one might activate that feeling earlier while the other is more of an ability to indulge that curiosity. Either way I hope these satisfy I know for some of them I could write something longer... it's probably obvious what ones I could

(1) sorry it took so long to do these and 2) sorry I went fuckin ham as there are 6 blurbs here )

tw: dubious consent, noncon, bone breaking, abduction, every single one of these is a traitor/chaos marine so that general unpleasantness so please let me know if I need to tag something

The Plague Marine could not figure out why his eyes remained on the female thralls and cultists... he didn't trust himself not to hurt them anymore. He was thankful for his helmet being on most of the time as the intense look in his eyes surely made them all cower and fear till...she got too close and he couldn't stop. He at least stopped before he fully broke all her bones... Grandfather would help him... Grandfather knew what was afflicting him. As while she was this pathetic mewling and weeping thing in his grasp he wanted to crush her again.

She was desperately crawling away as of course she would get hurt and have to be left to die. Oh she didn't want to die in the torturous way they would think up for her. He knew she didn't want to die... all prey didn't want to die and yet they knew all up until that last moment of life. He could practically hear the wild heartbeat and the way her wide prey like eyes locked onto his form as she let out the most beautifully frightened scream as the fallen Raven Guard barrels toward her. But before his claws sink in he skids to a stop and he watches her bite her bottom lip till it bleeds to stop the shrieking. His black eyes are fixated on the tears rolling down her cheeks like raindrops... his mutated palm wiping away those tears with the wet skin feeling so soft to him. His warped voice croons softly, his voice a breathy whisper, "You're so beautiful." He grins as she just starts to scream again.

He didn't need a bed slave... he was beyond that as blood shed was all he needed but he took you for a moment of relief... frail and weak thing that was destined to die in a myriad of horrible ways. But he liked the feeling of you around him... he liked you being a pathetic sad thing. He liked the way you bled and cried... till you stopped bleeding one day and grew fat with his young... he didn't need you... and yet you feel so good around him... and whatever you leaked from your breast felt good upon his tongue.

Courtship? I think you mean them just doting upon you and giving you attention.

You were so alone at this point that it was hardly safe to simply exist... ever since you got that first heart and the entire perfectly skinned human cloak everyone started to avoid you and the hearts and leather didn't stop... you're going to die... you know it you're going to die and you think it as you're hiding and weeping when behind you comes a Night Lord. He coos to you petting your head as you feel so numb you take the comfort just praying to anyone bothering to listen to have him make it quick. "Mmm you're clinging to me so tightly... are you scared? Do you need someone to protect you?" You don't know why you nod as you just hope you die soon. "At least I know you've enjoyed my gifts," He croons watching you finally react with dread horror as he just grins down at you and yet you do not struggle to pull away. Its over for you and you just accept your fate....

He sings to you as you lay there a quivering mess... just a tryst he tells himself as his fingers move up your spine having claimed you as his prize from another brother. He had grown tired of the cacophonous noise that spewed from his now dead comrade and he was only now just indulging in the soft noises you made. The panting and whimpering as his song was soft and low with tantalizing lyrics interspersed. You looked prettier covered in blood... with that fight left in your eyes as you rage against the inevitable end and he at the end of his perfected blade would have given it to you had that battle brother not interrupted. You should have died in such perfected death but he supposed it had been far too long since he indulged himself. And instead of quivering from blood loss and pain you quivered from overstimulation and pleasure. He deserved a nice little treat for his centuries of perfection...

You looked so sad simply attached to the repugnant mortal how your pretty eyes were dimmed and glazed the smile on your face fake. But not to him. You only tried the half hearted attempts to seduce him as you were ordered. You looked so relieved when all he wanted to do was hold you... that breathy thank you. Oh he was certain you would thank him soon enough. You didn't bother to run as you hid in the room that you could never seem to escape... no one would bother to save a body slave much less one of your rank you were at most a warm body to be enjoyed. You had hidden yourself in the back of the closet amongst the gaudy and billowing fabric outfits... you had seen the Astartes check the room before leaving and you had hopped that he was gone. But what luck did someone like you have as he came back and you recognized that crooning voice, "What a good girl... staying right there." It was the Iron Warrior that simply held you instead of fucking you... you hugged your knees tighter as the chains in his hand looked heavy and all you could do was watch in horror as he got closer... and closer... and the little voice inside of you hoped he wouldn't hurt you.

Oh if you do write the human husbandry please tag me I dont think I've got it in me to do it justice.

@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog

@thevoidscreams @barn-anon @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @squishyowl

@nekotaetae @sleepyfan-blog @remembrancer-of-heresy

[whosbloom]

Max Cooperman » Corn Maze

day 13 of flufftober

⋆.˚ summary: after getting dragged along as a fourth wheel you and max are forced to navigate through a corn maze

⋆.˚ fluff , mutual pining , it’s literally arguing until the very end , max is a little shit because ofc

Max insisted this would be fun. He swore on his MMA DVD collection it would be fun.

But he’s also the biggest asshole and liar you’ve ever met.

He somehow convinced you to tag along with him to a local Halloween fair, one that Jake and Baja were attending for a date, leaving him as a third wheel—so why not make you the fourth?

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t wish he considered it a double date, but of course he’s too oblivious to realize when someone is into him, so even the hints you dropped were brushed off as mindless jokes.

The only time you thought maybe he would consider it a date was when he threw his arm around your shoulders, bought you food, took you on the Ferris wheel—but of course it was all friendly to him.

Now, you were happy when you first showed up, but now you were irritated, cold, and more than happy to go home—if you could figure out how to get out of this man corn maze.

For context, he thought it would be funny to purposely get you lost in the maze, saying he had a map and you’d get out in no time.

Except he lost the map about an hour ago.

“I’m never, and I mean never, listening to you again.” You grumbled under your breath while trying to keep up with Jake ahead of you, Max in the back of your group, head down in shame.

It was dark out, bats flying overhead, crickets getting louder and louder, and the sound of children’s laughter died down.

“My parents are gonna kill me for being out past curfew because someone thought it would be funny to get lost.” You grumbled under your breath still, earning a swat to the arm from Baja with a look saying ‘be nice’.

“Don’t look at me like that! It’s all Max’s fault.” You pointed back at him, everyone stopping in their tracks to look at the two of you.

“I didn’t mean for us to get lost—“ “Shut up.” You quickly cut him off, glaring daggers at him.

“You didn’t think to check for the map before running in?”

He shook his head.

“You didn’t think to maybe make sure you knew how to get out?”

Another shake.

“So, answer this, why the hell did you do it!” You groaned and turned away, only to be stopped by Jake.

“I’m so tired of you two fighting. I’m close to leaving both of you and running through here.” He rolled his eyes, arms crossed over his chest as he gave you both a stern look.

Baja simply nodded in agreement, leaning against him while pressing her lips into a thin line, raising her brows at you both.

“I’ll leave on my own then. Besides, I’m pretty sure we’re going the wrong way.” You mumbled out, taking a left into another section of the corn maze, leaving the three of them behind.

“Max, go with her.” Jake looked at him, grabbing his shoulder and started pushing him to follow you. “What? No! She’ll kill me if she gets five minutes alone with me, she wants me dead right now, man.”

Even as he tried to push away from Jake, he inevitably failed, flipping him off before jogging off to go find you.

“Hey! Wait!” He called out, coming up behind you with a pant, bending over to catch his breath while holding a hand up to signal you to stop.

You were annoyed that he had followed you, leaving you both alone in the middle of basically nowhere.

“Jake sent you?”

He nodded.

You sighed, looking into see the moon above you, before turning to look at him again. “You said this would be fun. You swore it would be! Now you have to give up your precious DVDs.”

He groaned at your words, grabbing your shoulders and shook you a little, ducking his head down to meet your gaze.

“I’m sorry. Okay? I didn’t realize I lose the map and I thought it would be funny because I wanted to make you laugh. Hate me all you want right now but the second we’re out of this damn maze I’m making it up to you.”

He huffed and pushed past you, leaving you standing there for a moment to process his words, before quickly stumbling after him.

“What do you mean? You wanted to make me laugh? Max, are oblivious are you? Not even a question at this point, I just didn’t realize that all my very clear hints went right over your head.”

He glanced down at you with an equally confused look, the two of you taking a moment to stare at one another before it finally clicked.

“You like me?” He asked, his jaw dropping as he stared at you.

“Yes! I do. I really do.. why do you think I agreed to come? I knew Jake and Baja would makeout half the time and leave us alone together.” You sighed, turning away and started walking again.

The two of you spent the next 10-15 minutes bickering while trying to get out of the maze. Whenever he bumped into you you’d get in him about it, if you accidentally stepped on his foot he would push you into the corn, which went on for far too long.

As soon as you saw the exit you rushed past him, leaving him confused until he followed after you.

“Finally!” You groaned and ran your hands over your face, walking over to the closest table and sat down, looking up at him with raised brows. “So.. you’re gonna make it up to me now?”

He rolled his eyes and stood in-front of you, a look of feigned annoyance on his face. “Yeah, whatever. What do you want? I’ll get you some food.”

“I don’t want food, idiot, I want a date.”

“..that can be arranged.”

tags: @lemoniiiiiii , @xrag-dollx , @jazz-berry , @mistysconcilium , @khxna (ask to be added!!)