#basically I am only pessimistic about myself

[freepassbound]

🤹‍♀️ - If you could take a year off from work or school and still get paid, how would you spend your time?

🥜 - What is your biggest pet peeve?

🥛 - Is the glass half full or half empty?

🤹‍♀️ - If you could take a year off from work or school and still get paid, how would you spend your time?

Ah. Well.

The thing is, this is basically what 2020-2021 was.

...it didn't go well.

Of course, if it were to happen again, there would be an option that was not available at that time - and it is undoubtedly what I should do (or even be compelled to do): travel.

Just lots and lots of trips, domestic and international, of varying length, with some intermissions at home to rest between.

🥜 - What is your biggest pet peeve?

These days, it seems to be other drivers - or at least that's the one that gets triggered the most often. I mean, is it that hard to drive competently?!?

🥛 - Is the glass half full or half empty?

Well, that depends what the glass is related to.

Me personally? Half empty.

Friends? My home region? Humanity, long-term? Half full.

[harrylights]

-

[ganondoodle]

okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

[pikatrainer99]

Branch from Trolls has PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety and you can't change my mind! (Part 1: Trolls) (SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE THAT CAME OUT 8 YEARS AGO BUT JUST IN CASE 😅)

(This entire three-part analysis was SUPPOSED to be completed in its entirety by the end of May since it's for mental health awareness month, buuuut...I couldn't finish it in time (had to take a break and take care of myself because my PTSD has relapsed lately...AGAIN... I've been getting triggered really easily by just about anything and I hate it so much 😑), but at least the FIRST part is ready in time...so here we go!

Branch is my favorite character in DreamWorks' Trolls franchise, and for many reasons. One of them being that he is very relatable. As someone with PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety myself, I find it easy to put myself in Branch's tiny Troll feet and feel how he feels. (I also headcanon him as autistic, which I also am, but that's a post for another day). With this series of posts I will be analyzing his character journey and how his mental struggles affect him and his life. I will only be going over the three theatrical films in the franchise in these analysis posts, because, while his mental struggles are ABSOLUTELY present in the TV shows, I haven't seen every episode of the TV shows and I have a lot to discuss with just the three movies because I love Branch and relate to him so much.

So, to start this analysis, let's take a look at the first Trolls film. When Branch is first introduced, he is a grumpy, depressed, pessimistic gray Troll, and the only Troll in the village who doesn't sing, dance, hug, or party.

He instead chooses to spend all his time working on gathering supplies and rations for his, as he says "highly camouflaged, heavily fortified, Bergen-proof survival bunker." He lives in the bunker and has enough provisions to last him ten years…eleven if he's willing to store and drink his own sweat…which he is (gross).

Branch always feels the need to be crazy over-prepared for everything (so do I), no matter how crazy it drives the others (same here). The other Trolls all say that he ruins everything by interrupting their fun and panicking that "The Bergens are coming!" when in reality there's no Bergen in sight and there hasn't been for 20 years by that point and he's just paranoid. To them, he's basically like the boy who cried wolf…or in this case, the Troll who cried Bergen.

When Poppy invites Branch to her party, Branch immediately declines, saying that he "wouldn't be caught dead at her party" before adding that all the others "will be caught and dead" because of how big, loud, and crazy it's going to be. Branch frustratedly declares that Poppy's party is just gonna lead the Bergens right to the Trolls, and they all just brush his warning off because they haven't had to worry about Bergens in 20 years. That night, during the party, Branch is out collecting more provisions and he looks at the party from afar, scoffing at the others and their carefree attitudes before retreating back to his bunker. Before he knows it though, Poppy is banging on his door because a Bergen attacked the party and took all her friends. Branch, in his paranoia and anxiety, drags Poppy inside the bunker with him and sets up all his traps as they sit and wait in silence before Poppy tells him the Bergen is gone.

Branch, still paranoid, doesn't believe her and says that it could still be out there "watching…waiting…listening…" He clearly feels like he can never let his guard down, always on hyper-alert, checking for any danger. This is a common symptom of PTSD - hyper-vigilance (I have this symptom myself), and it can contribute to paranoia, making it even worse (it definitely does for me, and it looks like it's the same for Branch).

When Poppy asks him to go to Bergen Town with her to save everyone, Branch, with no hesitation, says no, that they're not his friends, they're Poppy's friends, and that he's staying in his bunker because his bunker is safe. He takes her down to the lower levels of the bunker, and this is where we see some obvious evidence of his mental state. There is frantic fear writing ALL OVER THE WALLS, and it says things like, "Run", "Danger", "Bergens eat us", "Teeth in the night", among many other things that are hastily scribbled and illegible (though Branch has bad writing in general, so it's already hard to read, but my point stands). He's even got multiple papers with horrifying drawings of the Bergens hung up on that wall as well. I have never really seen anyone else in this fandom talk about the writing all over Branch's walls, so I'm gonna talk about it myself. It makes it look like the poor guy spiraled, lost control, and had a manic episode…or eleven.

(Seriously, just LOOK at all this!!! This man is NOT okay!!!)

He's clearly TERRIFIED of Bergens, and wants to do everything in his power to avoid ever encountering one (which, fair, they do wanna EAT the Trolls, so that's a valid fear). Branch's fear of Bergens though, is not a normal fear, it seems to be a phobia, which would explain the paranoia. Obviously there's something going on inside his head involving Bergens that will definitely be revealed later. (foreshadowing)

Poppy completely disrespects Branch's needs, wishes, and privacy by letting all the other Trolls into the bunker while she goes to save her friends that got taken. This kinda made me upset because Branch clearly didn't give her permission to invade his personal space like that and make his own home suddenly feel unsafe with everyone there going through his stuff all at once. He freaks out when it's "Hug Time" because he doesn't want to be touched, especially not by all these Trolls he doesn't trust, so he packs a backpack and goes after Poppy, saving her from some spiders.

(This is honestly really upsetting to watch, she totally disrespects and ignores his boundaries here and it hurts to see him freak out over Hug Time because I also hate being touched, which means I also dislike hugs as a result of that...I only willingly hug my grandparents, that's it, no one else, not even my own parents.)

The whole way to Bergen Town, Branch is gloomy, brooding, and irritable. He tells Poppy that the world isn't all "cupcakes and rainbows" when she asks what happened to him to make him the way he is.

Poppy and her constant singing get on his nerves, the worst instance of this being when she starts singing at night when he's trying to sleep, making him angry enough to throw her ukulele into the campfire, burning it.

(This scene always gets a laugh out of me, the way it's animated is just perfect comedy XD)

Singing is clearly triggering for him, which we find out why later on when he adamantly refuses to sing with the others when they're trying to help Bridget get a date with King Gristle by giving her a makeover. Poppy asks him why he won't sing and he responds with (probably) the most iconic line in the entire film (and not one that people seem to be able to take seriously…but I take it as seriously as can be): "BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?!"

(His facial expressions here as he tells the story of what happened to his grandma are just...DreamWorks nailed it, and also the knee hugging pose...he's just like me for real 🥺)

We then see a flashback of a young Branch, happy and colorful, singing his heart out, but the Chef Bergen comes for him and he's so lost in song he doesn't notice, or hear his grandma warning him.

This causes his grandma to push him out of the way, and get taken instead.

Branch is so distraught by his grandma's sacrifice, that he loses all his happiness and becomes depressed, turning gray in the process, and vowing to never sing again.

(This poor child had to witness his grandma meet her untimely demise...and he blames himself for it...that's really depressing in my opinion, I seriously don't understand why people find this scene funny, it triggered my own PTSD really BAD the first time I watched it...I'm used to it now so I don't have my PTSD triggered by it anymore but it still hurts to watch.)

Now the bigger picture is clear. He's got PTSD and paranoia involving the Bergens because of what happened with his grandma as a child. His grandma's sacrifice also started his severe depressive state, as evidenced by him turning gray immediately after she got taken. When the flashback ends, Branch is staring silently and sadly out the window, looking like he's trying not to cry, his depression getting a hold of him once again.

(Again, DreamWorks really nailed the facial expressions here...he looks so broken 🥺)

I understand how he's feeling in that scene, my grandma is my LIFELINE, the person I feel the safest with…seriously I confide in her and tell her more things than I tell my own mom because I trust my grandma more…I even stayed at her house for a while a few years back during my worst mental crisis ever just so I could have the feeling of constant safety and less nightmares…so if something ever happened to her I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Singing is a trigger for him, and so are Bergens in general…which makes me upset at the others, AGAIN, when they sing the song that Branch was singing during that time…my thoughts were like, "Come ON guys, that song is probably the most triggering song for him…" As you can probably tell, I get upset with the others quite a few times whenever I watch this film, because of how they treat Branch. Eventually the entirety of Troll Village is thrown in a pot, ready to be served for Trollstice, and it's here where Branch's character development really becomes apparent. Poppy turns gray, quickly followed by all the other Trolls, and Branch looks around at everyone turning gray, like him, and, desperate to do something about it and help the girl he's now grown to love, he finally breaks his 20-year-long "no singing" vow as he begins to sing "True Colors" in what is probably the most beautiful scene in the entire film (I know it's my personal favorite scene).

(There they all go...turning gray...and Branch is just looking around at everyone, clearly upset by this.)

(His expressions here...you can tell he's thinking, "I've gotta do something!" And he does, and it's beautiful 🥺)

Thanks to Branch, Poppy and the other Trolls are able to regain their colors, and thanks to Poppy, Branch FINALLY regains his colors after 20 years!

(He's getting his colors back! I always feel so happy when I watch the True Colors scene, it's just so beautiful and satisfying 😌👍)

(They're so cute, look at them dance together 🥺! Broppy is best Trolls ship and no one can convince me otherwise, these two are PERFECT for each other 😌)

He thanks Poppy for showing him how to be happy, stating that "happiness is inside of all of us, sometimes you just need someone to help you find it", quoting one of Poppy's lines from earlier in the film. Branch now feels comfortable singing and dancing with Poppy and the other Trolls as they teach the Bergens that same lesson by singing "Can't Stop The Feeling", which helps the Trolls finally make peace with the Bergens after many many years of fearing being eaten by them.

Poppy is crowned queen, Branch finally asks for (and gets) a hug from her even though it's not Hug Time, and the movie ends.

(They are so adorable I can't take it!)

This is not the end of Branch's journey though, there's still two more movies to cover! I'll be covering the second movie hopefully soon, so I hope you look forward to that, and I hope you enjoyed this character analysis on Branch in the first movie! If I missed anything please feel free to let me know in the comments! I sometimes miss things especially with relatable characters because sometimes there are aspects that trigger me so I try to forget about those aspects, and sometimes the character as a whole just hits too close to home and writing analyses on them is too overwhelming because of that (Branch is one of those characters, so it took me ages to write this and gather all the GIFs and images...and also this entire analysis was written ENTIRELY from my memory of the events in the first movie, so there's that part too). Also please excuse the potato quality images and GIFs...I tried my best to find good ones but most of them I found are just REALLY bad quality so...sorry about that 😅

Okay, that's about it for this post! I'll see you guys next time for another Branch analysis, this time for Trolls World Tour! Catch ya later! 👋

[max1461]

I try not to feel personally aggrieved by abstract philosophical positions, but I have often in the past felt personally aggrieved by hedonic utilitarianism, and I think the reason is basically: on a sober evaluation, I think that my own life is almost certain to be a hedonic net-negative, for purely dispositional reasons. I am anxious and anhedonic as a matter of course, and in any case I am only weakly motivated by the desire for pleasure. There's some distinct sense in which "feeling good doesn't even feel that good" to me; conversely though, "feeling bad doesn't feel that bad", I often find myself weirdly indifferent to pain qua pain, and it's only when pain impedes me practically (for instance, by being distracting) that I start to feel significantly dissatisfied with it. But I am not unmotivated in general, there are in fact various feelings and convictions, which I don't feel like elaborating because they're personal, that provide me with great vigor in the active pursuit of a fair variety of different endeavors.

And so, essentially, I feel like the hedonic utilitarian is (unintentionally, indirectly) trying to convince me to kill myself. If they are correct in their assertion of what self-interest looks like, then it is in my self-interest to cease to exist! But in fact I don't feel this way at all, per above I feel quite engaged with life and desirous to continue it, not merely in a negative fear-of-death way but in a positive lust-for-living way. I feel in light of what I know about myself that it's likely to come out as a hedonic net-negative, but I don't really care, and in fact it has been a very long time since this made me feel particularly pessimistic at all.

I was probably a teenager when it first occurred to me "holy shit, anxiety is basically my default emotion; in the absence of some other momentary feeling I basically just feel anxious". And at the time this sort of scared me, but sometime later I sort of decided... that that was fine? I don't actually mind being anxious that much. I'm kind of fine with being anxious all the time, as long as I'm not anxious in a way that's acutely self-destructive [as my anxiety was in those teenage years, and was again in the pandemic]. There is a part of me that still minds feeling bad, and in some moments it rears its head, but by and large I mind only the causes and the effects of feeling bad and not the feeling itself, which I am almost neutral to.

[jacksgreysays]

i saw this and this is SO perfect for shikako: "ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem" (with the sword, she seeks peace under liberty) - maybe something with the shikabane-hime in the gardens-verse?

Okay anon, I did learn a few things about this phrase, specifically: The phrase is often loosely translated into English as "By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty." The literal translation, however, is "she seeks with the sword peaceful repose under liberty." The "she" in question refers to the word manus from the full phrase manus haec inimica tyrannis ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem, which means "this hand, an enemy to tyrants, seeks with the sword peaceful repose under liberty."

Which, you know, is VERY in flavor of my usual “let’s murder Danzo, that’ll take care of at least 95% of the world’s issues” as seen within the Shikako Nara’s Guide To Delinquency and Military Insurrection series which is basically where I put all of my messing around in the Gardens-verse.

But I find myself interested in the, hm… steps of translation for the phrase… like, the original specifically saying “this hand, an enemy to tyrants” which is then removed from the final phrase. However, the final phrase does still keep the sword and also specifically says peace ONLY under liberty.

So my interpretation of this is: once “this hand, [she who is] an enemy to tyrants,” goes away, all that remains is the sword, ie violence, and the prioritization of liberty over peace. Which actually makes me wonder if… hm… I wouldn’t necessarily say a “dark turn AU” but a… pessimistic version of the “let’s murder Danzo, that’ll take care of at least 95% of the world’s issues.” What happens to Konoha as an institution after Danzo is dead and all of his machinations are brought to light?

ESPECIALLY considering how much he claimed to be merely following the Nidaime’s vision. Imagine the repercussions! The implication that Konoha has been so twisted and rotten from its founding. And I’m not saying it’s a return to the Warring Clans Era, because it’s not as if the clans would necessarily rekindle any issues with each other, but how much of the village infrastructure is suspect? How many people did Danzo influence either with the ROOT seal or with Shisui’s eye?

How many clans then think, we are not free under Konoha?

For example, the twins vows when becoming genin prioritize clan, then allies, then teammates, then the village. (I know they had different vows, but I think that’s roughly the order of priority for both of them?) But I can’t imagine—given Hatake Sakumo’s treatment by Konoha when he saved his teammates and “started the war” (although I do have Danzo-related headcanons for that, of course)—that vow would prevent a court martial or disciplinary action.

So if being a good soldier of Konoha contradicts being a good member of the clan, then the existence of Konoha itself is a contradiction to a clan’s existence—I am, of course, exaggerating for the sake of the premise, and I guess what I’m saying is that the premise is:

Shikako killing Danzo does solve a lot of problems, but then unleashes a whole lot of other problems which, unfortunately, a single murder will not solve. Might be multiple murders. Or maybe a war. Whoops.

Because! The fact that the phrase wasn’t shortened to just “Peace [Only] Under Liberty,” the fact that the “by the sword” part was kept is interesting. But a sword without a hand behind it, a sword without an enemy to target, is just an unsheathed weapon that could harm allies or yourself.

So that is the premise, but I don’t know what the plot would be, per se…

OR maybe this is a universe in which someone that ISN’T multiverse-traveling Shikabane-hime clocks Danzo’s rancid vibes and kills him but without a plan to deal with the fall out or a way to deescalate the situation. Like… if it were Shisui and/or Itachi who killed Danzo but in a kind of panicked way. The Uchiha clan is already SO SUSPICIOUS to the rest of the village (at least, that’s the impression they’ve been given) so they can’t come out with a laundry list of Danzo’s crimes and everything will be fine.

Okay, this isn’t the prompt necessarily, but the idea of two freaked out teenage Uchiha just panic whispering to each other over the corpse of Danzo who they just killed while Shikako watches from the shadows, bemused, because… well… they beat her to the punch, but also they have no idea what they’re doing. It’s very funny.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hi!! Gin for the ask game?

Yay Gin!!!

Favorite thing about them: Oh man there's not much to talk about in canon outside of the oc I made from them. But I still think they're very cool!! I also find them felling affection for Ryuunosuke to be very sweet, they're the only character in the whole series together with Higuchi who's ever shown to genuinely care about him.

Least favorite thing about them: How they weren't given a personality outside of “Akutagawa's sister”. Like, I love Gin, but being honest, it's more of loving the character I built pretty much from scratch for them in my mind, because canon literally never gave them a personality. Also, I don't like the voice actor choice for them… I don't know if I'm being conservative with this, but I find that kind of hyperfemininity they're depicted having sometimes (their high-pitched voice, the onsen scene in Wan) pretty stereotypical, that taste of “all tough girls deep down actually want to be delicate and femminine” from old medias I don't really vibe with.

Favorite line:

This one, because it's funny, and specifically because it's a non-verbal line. I like the idea of Gin using their sword more than they use their mouth.

brOTP: Look, I'm weak for siblings dynamics. They're always my favourite thing. I don't remember ever having an hyperfixation that didn't include siblings dynamics. I love love love the Gin / Ryuunosuke relationship and could talk about them for days. ALSO the Black Lizard in general I've already talked about them here I care so much about them. I really like tachigin platonically too. And I like Gin's dynamics with Higuchi, I actually like them better platonically.

OTP: I dig everything tachigin, I really like them and the “I'm not who I say I am but you know me better than myself even though you don't know my true identity” deal they have going on. I also like the idea of Gin and Naomi 👀👀👀 talkative gf x gf who's never said a word their whole life. Also my personal crack ship Gin × Paula ThePromisedNeverland

nOTP: ... I don't really dig higu/gin. Higu/gin friends, please forgive me. I just think that starting dating the person your brother has repeatedly abused would be super awkward, and I don't think I really like the idea of Higuchi basically dating Ryuunosuke's sister as rebound guy. Also it's just a thing with me and not being a fan of vanilla / sugar spice and everything nice wlw ships. I do acknowledge they have their fair share of scenes together and that they're perfect to be interpreted romantically!! The latest volume 23 omake especially, it can perfectly be taken as romantic. It's just not something that does it for me, and tbh I like them better with having a kind of sisters dynamics, with Higuchi being this kind of very exuberant and silly self-assigned older sister and Gin who just likes her and enjoys hanging out with her.

Random headcanon: Oh boy, may I introduce you to my Gin brainrot. I really have so many ideas about them. Apart from what I've already mentioned, I really like the idea of them having selective mutism, especially as it's shown in Wan. I don't think they're someone to talk in general. The Akutagawas household must be death silent 24/7 lol.

Unpopular opinion: I just wish people would give them more flaws. I'ver read my fair share of Gin fics, and in all of them they're always this kind of sassy / funny / witty / pretty / confident / charismatic / overall perfect person. As result, I find them quite boring to read, and they particularly pale in comparison to Ryuunosuke; especially since at least for me it's his flaws that make him such a compelling character. I wish we'd extend some of his flaws to Gin too. They're bad at communication and expressing their feelings. They're aggressive and pessimistic. Idk, anything that makes them a little more human.

Song i associate with them: How To World Domination by Neru. Just the overall imaginary it evokes of two siblings close in age fighting together in a world that is both violent and war-ridden, and terribly domestic and mundane. The feeling of being lonely together. Them both fighting to become a better version of themselves, a kinder version of themselves, even, before my heart grows numb from the cold. This song really is one that always evokes the Akutagawa siblings in my mind whenever it comes on shuffle. Also, Re-education by Neru, for similar reasons.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration:

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

Favourite Mayoi card: (Band Gin you will always be famous)

Send me a character?

[sycamorre]

Can I please get the whole girl gang with Ori, Mela, Vaela, and Riven!

[send me a character]

Oh boy you're making me do my homework over here!

Oriana —

Favorite thing about them: I'm going to be incredibly non-specific and say that her growth as a character was my favorite part of playing her. She started out as this uptight, dutiful monk who was scared to show her own face too much for fear of making people mildly uncomfortable (and honestly to avoid invasive questions) to someone who was finally getting comfortable with who they were was such a blast. I love her newly-acquired confidence and the dynamic it brings to her post-campaign. She's far from perfect, and never will be, but she's maturing and making a new purpose for herself other than being someone's errand girl.

Least favorite thing about them: She is the worst pessimist in the world and sometimes her logic is so quick to jump to the worst conclusions that she literally puts her foot in her mouth. And it hurts for me to write that every single time due to secondhand embarrassment but I have to commit.

Favorite line: "She loved you! She still loves you!" at the Prince during the final fight while she's trying to distract him (or something like that). Or Ori's first jab at Damak "Maybe you would see more of it if you stepped out of the shadows" since it still makes me chuckle.

brOTP: Even though the Ori/Damak ship didn't sail, I still think they probably stay pretty close and end up working together on jobs in the future. They absolutely still push each other's buttons, but that's just how they are and they don't question it.

OTP: I am so mad at myself retroactively for not giving into the OriRanna feels by the conclusion of the campaign but I do not regret bringing it up afterwards and getting to enjoy it now at least.

nOTP: Ori and Cobalt are forever divorced and they barely know each other, this is just canon.

Random Headcanon: Ori has a hard time accepting the fact that Sharaea is basically keeping her distance after the Prince's defeat. In part because she does feel that connection still and worries that Sharaea is hurting, and partially because it is such a strange sensation to her to be without the dreams for so long after such a major revelation. It takes her a long time to get used to it, but she still wishes that there was more she could do.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion among our little group, but I never had intentions of making Oriana some kind of fated hero. I never had thoughts of making her tied to a major NPC or giving her any kind of serious destiny, I just wanted to play a radiant energy bomb with the aasimar/monk combo because I thought it would be funny once I pitched the idea to Sam and he told me about Damak who was basically her foil. But I do adore how her story developed and how well it ended up narratively.

Song I associate with them: So many... "Like the Dawn" by The Oh Hellos, "Warrior" by AURORA, and "Drumming Song" by Florence + The Machine to name a few.

Favorite picture of them: I like a lot but honestly one of my favs is the one I made of Chibs trying to hit on her, partly because it's Chibs and partly because I did really like how Ori's outfit came out in this one.

Mela —

Favorite thing about them: Literally the most wholesome member of the group. Not a bad bone or crystal in her body. I am so sorry for all that we put her though.

Least favorite thing about them: Only that I didn't get enough time to learn more about her and her backstory. Sigh.

Favorite line: "Real neighbors. Real family. Not just people that make you feel like you can pretend it doesn't exist."

brOTP: Mela and Halion. Druid buddies that deserve the world.

OTP: Mela is an independent Genasi who don't need no one... though I could be swayed about a certain fae...

nOTP: Literally anyone who would try to be mean to her in a relationship will meet a swift end by my hand.

Random Headcanon: 100% think that Mela's magic is flavored to look like the crystals on her body. If she wildshapes and doesn't specifically want to look a certain way, the animal she changes into will have things like crystal horns/claws, the flame sword she summons has the appearance of a crystal blade, etc.

Unpopular Opinion: I do wish she had gotten a chance to use wild shape more. I think Mela being a cute little critter sneaking around would have been amazing.

Song I associate with them: "Come Out and Play" by Billie Eilish

Favorite picture of them: That dang sketch I never colored, rip

Vaela —

Favorite thing about them: Drinking game QUEEN. Also just the fact that she doesn't take any shit while still having a lot of heart and empathy to those who earn it. Something about that balance between the two just made her all the more lovable.

Least favorite thing about them: she can out-drink my high constituion monk I do think I missed out on really getting to know her during the campaign, and I regret that a lot.

Favorite line: Not a specific line but I think back to Vaela's talks with Erosen when he was ready and willing to be her stand-in dad before Vaela was ready to reach back out to her family and i can't help but smile.

brOTP: Vaela, Riven, and Mela is the real brot3 and nothing can change my mine

OTP: I mean... I definitely have a certain paladin that turns a lovely shade of pink when someone talks about her because she sure is pretty and really cool to boot~

nOTP: Zaresh and his memory is not allowed to ever hurt Vaela again. If Damak didn't do it, Ori would have definitely put him out of his misery.

Random Headcanon: Very little thing, but I could see her gathering small, light trinkets that remind her of her friends and tie them to her bow, possibly for good luck, and possibly as a way to to tell which direction the wind is blowing when she's aiming.

Unpopular Opinion: I still think it would have been cool for her to pull an Erosen and punch Zaresh in the face. Just once.

Song I associate with them: "Dear Fellow Traveler" by Sea Wolf

Favorite picture of them: So fun fact: I never finished them but I started making emojis of the party members for kicks and here's the one I started of Vaela:

Riven —

Favorite thing about them: Riven's sassiness and perfect comedic timing always leaves me in stitches. She really felt like the heart of the party in that way.

Least favorite thing about them: This is the hardest thing and most of my "least favorite" things are mostly the things Oriana keeps fretting about when she thinks about Riven being in such a high position so I'm gonna go with not much at this time to be honest.

Favorite line: Not a line again, but specifically the scene between Ori and Riven where Riv dressed her up while Ori reassured her that she didn't think any less of Riven after they all found out about her half-drow heritage. That always felt like a major point in their friendship and I hold onto it fondly.

brOTP: I wanna say Riven and Halion just because I think their friendship was so neat, and it hurts a bit when I think about their falling out post-campaign. But there's also Riv and Damak's sibling-ish dynamic that I love a lot, too.

OTP: As much as he pushes Ori's nerves, I do think Riv and Delethil are on the same wavelength as each other and fit very well together, even with Eravin in the mix.

nOTP: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Random Headcanon: On the occasions where Oriana comes up to Aerenth on business (either with Ranna for her research or at the request of various Tyados officials who think she's got some kind of in with them because she's friends with Riven), Ori always makes a point to find Riven and any of the other girls that might be there with them after all the formalities are done and run off into the woods to find a clearing to just hang out in like they did before.

Unpopular Opinion: As much as I understand the reason why she and Del made the choice to execute Vasion, I still disagree that it was the best decision.

Song I associate with them: "Savage Daughter" by Sarah Hester mostly because of the rebellious vibes

Favorite picture of them: I mean... I think it's obvious (also bonus Vaela).

[the-new-hip-priest]

I just got knocked back from another rehab because they don't accept anyone with diagnosed mental health conditions (unlike all those other addicts who are otherwise of sound mind, pffft). That leaves me with two locations in the entire country that help poor people. It's so fucking heart wrenching when you urgently need help and you find the courage to reach out, and then you wait for months sustaining yourself with the thought that help might finally be just around the corner, only to be rejected AGAIN.

There are loads of private places, of course, but they charge around $25000 - $35000 for basic inpatient programs. That's not even the truly fucked up part. See, even if I was cashed up, I'm automatically disqualified from so many services and organisations because I'm autistic. Places are completely within their rights to ignore you as a demographic and bar your from their assistance. There's no discriminatory law to help us. My doctor and I have called so many places and you can hear all the compassion and empathy vanish on the other end as soon as you mention the dreaded word. It's a snappy and venomous 'no' and they immediately hang up (even though part of their job is to recommend alternative services). I've explained this to so many people and they stress the same point - but there must be somewhere that helps autistic women, surely? And the honest to god truth is no, there isn't. I'm not being excessively negative or pessimistic. It's a neutral observation. I'm not 'disabled enough' for the NDIS but I am far too disabled for mainstream services. I am not putting up barriers for myself, ableist society is my fucking barrier. *~We are here to help the entire community uwu. EWW GROSS, NOT YOU! FUCK OFF. YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE COMMUNITY. GO HIT YOUR HEAD AND SCREAM ABOUT IT~* At this point, I'm trying to make peace with the fact that I will only ever live a dole bludgers existence. It doesn't matter what I want to do, or might like to do, because I am forever bound to what I actually can do, and it turns out that I can do surprisingly little.

[sansa286]

Alicent Hightower's Top 3 Placements in Astrology

Alicent Hightower was one of many stand-out characters in House of the Dragon. Like with my Aemond post, I thought it would be interesting to analyze her character through my guesses on what her astrological placements would be for Sun, Moon, and Ascending/rising.

NOTE: I'm not a professional astrologer, I simply love learning about it. This was purely for fun.

Sun Sign

Virgo

Sun sign basics: Your core self, your conscious self. Your initial character and ego.

Virgo sun traits that align with Alicent: Practical, hardworking, dislike for being the center of attention, shy, anxious, critical, responsible, modest, pessimistic and aloof.

A lot of people believe Alicent to be a Virgo, and I am inclined to agree (as a Virgo myself, I see it.) She has this want of being useful that is a key Virgo trait. Before the main events of the series we see it through being a responsible and studious girl. Rhaenyra is clearly the more rebellious of the two as Alicent wants to study while Rhaenyra wants to do anything but. As they make their way through the court Alicent is shyly waving and greeting all the other lords and ladies at, while Rhaenyra makes for a one-track path to her mother. As Queen, her entire existence becomes being useful for the realm, so she provides four children to the King and when he is too sick to do his duties, she steps up, even taking his seat at the Small Council. She doesn't just want to be an ornament to society, she wants to actually be useful and get stuff done. That GIF I chose for this section is the epitome of this aspect of her personality; Alicent and Viserys do not have an amazing relationship in the slightest and truthfully, she has every reason to let him rot after how he treated their children, however out of her sense of duty as his wife (and yes, love) she rushes to help him.

Her practical side comes out in a couple of scenes. The first is the scene with Viserys in Episode 3 when she tells him that in order for Rhaenyra to get on board with getting married, she must choose her husband, and takes a hand in organizing her tour for her. This shows practicality because Alicent knows Rhaenyra would not do well in an arranged marriage (as we come to see later.) The second time it comes out is during her spill to Rhaenys about guiding men in the right direction; Alicent knows as a woman in Westeros her power is limited, but that she has somewhat of a shot at some power through influencing the men in who hold it. While this is completely irrational from a modern-day point of view (and rightly so, you can only influence people who want to be influenced!) by Westerosi standards, this is pretty much the only way women outside of Rhaenyra and a select few others can muster any power. So, while she did demand to be the center of attention at Rhaenyra's wedding during the Green Dress Scene, she is still at her core someone who doesn't mind taking the back seat as long as she has some (or most/all) control.

Moon Sign

Scorpio

Moon sign basics: Your innermost self. It reveals your deepest thoughts, emotions, fears and desires.

Scorpio moon traits that align with Alicent: Intuitive, secretive, strong-willed, vengeful, emotional/sensitive, moody, and truth-seeking.

One of the defining traits of Scorpio moon is a need for deep relationships, and there isn't a single relationship in Alicent's life that isn't meaningful. From her friendship to Rhaenyra, to her strained relationship with Otto, and even Viserys to an extent, there is a lot deeper to it than meets the eye. Can these relationships be a source of stress for Alicent? Sure. But she would rather have meaningful relationships that are a bit touchy than ones that meant nothing at all. Scorpio in moon is a very emotional placement, as the moon-sign is all about your innermost self, and the sign of Scorpio is all about what lies beneath the surface. Alicent may be a person who seems very straightforward and pragmatic, and those are aspects of her personality, but deep down she is craving a life full of meaning and purpose which she is only somewhat fulfilled in by doing her duties as Queen. When Rhaenyra returns, Alicent is so quick to try to mend things just after she apologizes because at the end of the day, she wants that strong connection they used to have back in their youth.

Scorpio moon is also a sign of transformation, which we see throughout the show. Alicent goes from a slightly naive and unassuming girl, to someone who is willing to put up a fight. The beginning of her transformation is believed to be the Green Dress Scene, however I would argue it began when she first got married to Viserys. We see from that point on she gets more politically savvy and willing to learn the ins and outs of power, and use it. She tells Viserys that Rhaenyra must pick her mate if he wants her to get married, which is essentially her leveraging her status as his wife and queen to the benefit of her best friend. We also see this in the scene where she confronts Rhaenyra in front of the Weirwood in Episode 5; granted she was pissed, but she also wanted to help Rhaenyra regardless of what had occurred on Rhaenyra's night out. In true Scorpio fashion, what ends up upsetting Alicent the most about the situation is that Rhaenyra lied, not the situation itself. The Green Dress Scene is significant because it marks a turning point for Alicent in the astrological sense - beforehand she did not like the attention that came with being queen, but now she's demanding it for the first time.

In later years we see just how vindictive Alicent has become through demanding to see Joffrey once he's fresh out of the womb, thus denying Rhaenyra proper time with her newborn infant, and through instilling fear in her children over the prospect of Rhaenyra being heir. We also see a much more strong-willed Alicent that completes this arc in Episode 9 when she not only confronts her father over his wrongdoings, but sets the stage for Aegon's coronation on her terms, not Otto's. This could also be read as revenge for Otto and the Small Council going behind her back for the greater part of a decade, scheming to put Aegon on the throne without her; while they might have won the battle, the moment Criston and Aemond snatched Aegon up, Alicent won the war.

Rising Sign

Cancer

Ascending/rising sign basics: What you present yourself as. What first impression you make. Your appearance.

Cancer ascending traits that align with Alicent: Protective, sympathetic, hypersensitive, devoted

Cancer in astrology represents the mother archetype which is what Alicent tries to project once she becomes queen. You could argue even before as that was essentially what she was expected to become: a mother, per Westerosi expectations for women and also her devout practice to the Faith with the Mother as the main female archetype that is prayed to.

Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond are all born relatively soon after each other. Alicent knows that part of her role in the Hightower's plot to gain power in King's Landing is by being the perfect queen and mother to the potential heirs to the Iron Throne. She devotes herself to her children, albeit in different ways to Rhaenyra. Despite not finding her hobby particularly interesting, Alicent still listens to Helaena go on about insects and doesn't block her from pursuing her interests. She stands up for Aemond on multiple occasions, and while Aegon is...well Aegon, she still loves him, and on top of that, loves him enough to keep trying to correct his behavior. While she's not as doting of a mother as Rhaenyra, Alicent does love her children dearly and everything she does is to protect them.

Another scene that depicts this archetype is the controversial one with Dyana. She embraces her as a mother would comforting her daughter, and there has been so much analysis on how Alicent sees herself in Dyana as yet another girl taken advantage of by the men around her. It must be emphasized that Alicent very well could have Dyana executed for speaking the truth about Aegon, and there are some queens that definitely would have (Cersei, Visenya, etc...) however she instead gives her moon tea (while ambiguous, Dyana was barely a teenager and should not be forced to carry her assaulter's baby) and gives her money. Very much hush-money as we see in the rest of the thinly veiled threat, but money that Dyana can use to start a new life in a place where Aegon can never hurt her again. I got the sense that Alicent wished that someone had done the same for her when she was trapped: give her a means to escape. Maybe with a princess on dragonback or maybe with a sack of pity money, but escape nonetheless.

Finally, part of fulfillment for a Cancer ascending with her Virgo-need to be helpful is through familial deeds and nurturing those they care about. Alicent spends most of her life caring for her ailing husband even up to his deathbed and last breath. Viserys's health is of a constant concern to her, and even in her early days as queen she would excuse the chamber maids to bathe him herself. She gets Aegon together for his coronation, and well, we all know how much of a wreck he is. To a lesser extent we see this side of her with Rhaenyra in their youth when she makes sure that Rhaenyra knows her studies. In a sense, Alicent's way of expressing love is through these deeds.

[demiesworld]

this is word vomit, me rambling, and basically just saying shit!! at the end i am thanking my followers for helping me reach 1k!!

i started this side-blog back in late april to early may just thinking that this was just going to be a fluke. originally i had only planned to just post more random shit on here, reblog some anime stuff, and just do whatever i wanted. there were times where i was like "im going to delete this blog", "im losing my interest", "this ain't getting me nowhere", just pessimistic thoughts.

that all changed when i started writing for anime. my very first post was a stupid "toman as stupid shit i did in my life" post which garnered some good attention. ppl liked it. then a little bit later i decided to write "tokyo revengers reaction to how you fight" and ppl LOVED IT lol i was so happy reading through the feedback about how the reader was depicted as being badass and strong.

later i got myself more involved into the anime fandom. i started watching demon slayer after a previous co-worker of mine mentioned to me that i should watch it bc it was a good anime. and it is!! demon slayer is one of the most popular animes out there imo. so when i began watching demon slayer i wanted to write content for the demon slayer fandom as well. now originally i wanted to write my first demon slayer fanfic with tengen x reader, but i was already hooked onto season 4 with the hantengu clones and had more motivation to write about them. the hantengu clones x demon!reader thing i wrote, i literally did not expect for it to get any attention. bc i haven't wrote smut like that in FOREVER. literally i thought it would go to shit but i was fucking excited to see it gain over 2.5k notes!!!

now before i got into demon slayer i was watching jjk. but i just never thought of writing for them since i had only ever watched the jjk 0 movie, and season 1. i didn't familiarize myself with the characters and just went with how the fandom portrayed them as. though as soon as season 2 came out with the gojo's past arc i wanted to write some content for them as well.

then... i got lured into the miguel o'hara stan. now i was already a marvel nerd BEFORE i rejoined the anime fandom. i was only watching the marvel films and the tv shows like daredevil, punisher, and loki. when i saw miguel o'hara on the big screen I FELL IN LOVE. not only that but he is voiced by OSCAR FUCKING ISAAC. god i want for this man to yell at me- ANYWAYS LOL UM we're getting off track here!! i went to reading some miguel o'hara fics, watching tiktok edits of this man, looking at fanarts of him, and then i sort of got the inspiration to write some content about him. and i do notice that there is not a LOT of miguel o'hara with a black reader or at the very least with a latin/hispanic reader. so i want to spice things up and contribute to writing things for him.

now mind you all i write my fics with a black reader in my mind!! but i never describe their skin color, their eye color, their weight, i don't describe what they look like bc i want for the reader to feel included!!! i want for the reader to feel as if they are in the story. unless it is stated in my notes that the reader is black, chubby, skinny, etc. then i write as that. but if you read most of my fics there's not really an indication of the reader's race.

so with this blog and through my writing i want to show all writers that you don't have to describe what the reader looks like. that there are ways to avoid describing the reader and to have the reader feel included. inclusivity is my goal here on this site. as someone who is multifandom, i want to bring something to the table and maybe make a change.

to end this all off bc damn this is getting TOO DAMN LONGGG i want to say to all of my followers thank you so much for following me. times have been hard for me, but you know seeing that i have ppl who love my content and my writing makes me happy. honestly it is getting me motivated to get back to writing more again. i hope to give you guys more content, and better up my writing skills in the future. please stick around for more! again thank you babes! i love you all so much!!

♡ with love, demie !

[flawlessgems]

1 4 5 6 7 14 16 17 21 for the ask game that tells a lot about you (pls don't feel pressure to do them all, i probably wrote down to many again lol)

you literally made my day night by sending in these asks 🤗😘

okieee, let's get to it!

how do you take your tea/coffee?

lol I don't. I've had coffee once and nearly threw up and tea just feels so . . . thin. Not just with actual texture (never thought I'd be describing the texture of a liquid before . . .) but with flavour as well. I really just drink water. I don't have much opportunity to drink anything else, unless it's Ginger Ale when my stomach is not the best

4. what was your favorite tv show as a kid?

good grief- I don't know. The two filmed tv shows I watched the most were Wanted Dead or Alive with Steve Mcqueen, and a BBC Robin Hood with Richard Green. I also watched a lot of the animated show Tom and Jerry, which is a family favourite

5. summer or winter?

okay, if we be going like aesthetics and songs and just vibes? then summer all day. But if we be doing this for the temperature? Then winter. I can't pick winter for aesthetic reasons because winter for me is just sometimes cold, but mostly cool, which means no snow. Come January and February, it's just rain.

6. realist, optimist, or pessimist?

definitely a pessimist. I love watching Fail Army and get my motivation to get through the day from reading demotivational quotes. I'll share one with you: be a bridge, so I can walk over you to better places

7. rain or sunshine?

I don't mind rain so much if it's actually raining, and not just cloudy with a drizzle. I prefer sunshine though. One of my favourite destressing activities is swinging on a playset (call me childish; I don't care. I also still sleep with stuffed animals) so I prefer sunshine in order to do that. But I've done it in the middle of a rainstorm too, so I just have to prepare for possibly ruining my clothes and freezing for hours afterward

14. what is your defining personality trait?

oh geez- how do I answer this without sounding like a complete narcissist? I wish it was 'character trait' instead. But personality trait? People have told me I'm funny, I'm a pessimist, and very creative (I've dabbled in writing stories of various genres, poems of all kinds, and even songs; I can paint with watercolour, draw with both coloured and graphite pencil; I've built some pretty cool fantasy builds with LEGO; I tried my hand at sewing, but sucked at it; slightly better at cross-stitch but I still hate it; I can do the basic knit stich; I am pretty good at crocheting--even did a section of an advanced quilt! and I think I should stop bragging now. If I was trying to avoid sounding like a narcissist I definitely failed)

off that rabbit trail- I think my biggest personality trait is my sensitivity. I'm very sensitive to verbal negativity (which is why I became a sarcastic bitch to try and hide the fact that I really just want to go to that corner over there and cry) as well as pain and other discomforts (both my own and others. It's rather annoying. Like my mom got a paper cut and just told me about it and I almost cried). I'm also sensory-oriented, so I can get sensory-overload very easily.

16. are you an only child? oldest/middle/youngest?

teehee nope! I am one of the oldest kids in a family of over a dozen

17. what would your superpower be? how would you use it?

uhh I'm an introvert, so teleportation would be nice. I have experienced a horrific amount of super-embarrassing moments (that probably nobody else thinks about I'm just overthinking it as usual) so it would be nice to just be able to yeet myself out of there so I don't have to endure the awkward silence.

but flight would be nice too . . . I could use that to look into bird's nests

and elemental control? like damn- FIRE?!

but seriously, my overthinking mind just gave electrokinesis like the ultimate god mod. Think about it, if you could sense and manipulate electricity, you could hack into people's phones and text them, you could have every stoplight be green, and SERIOUSLY--your brain has electricity in it- I COULD SENSE PEOPLE AND MAYBE EVEN MANIPULATE THEM. But, like in a freeze-your-body or slap-yourself-in-the-face kind of way. As for accessing memory banks, I don't think I could do that. BUT THEN- LET'S GET EVEN DEEPER WITH THIS- everything is made up of protons, electrons, and neutrons, so if I could manipulate that, could I like . . . transform?!

also, to any writers out there, please don't take that electrokinesis idea. I came up with that for a story 😭

21. the best ice cream flavor

I can't remember what it was called, but it was this ice cream that was basically a combination of cookies-n-cream, cookie chunk, and oreo ice cream, and it was a BOMB. If it has chocolate in it (unless it has peanut butter 🤮) chances are high I'm going to like it

[obeymematches]

Hi! 👋 Could you please do a match up for me.

My Personality in few words :-

• Caring

• Loyal

• Protective

• Sarcastic

• Innovative

• Understanding

• Challenging

I'm a Ambivert. I'm a Realist if it counts, if not am a pessimist. I keep my emotions to my self and will rarely tell anyone how I feel. I don't judge a person by what I hear only after I interact with them and get to know them will I draw up a conclusion. I dislike being ignored when I am speaking. I tend to space off in classes if I'm not interested. I dislike being nagged constantly. If I'm given a task to do I will do it at my own pace if it's not urgent. In my day-to-day life I would describe myself as a easygoing person I will put in the required amount of effort based on the importance of the work I'm doing. I am a perfectionist only if the topic catches my interest other wise nope.

I can also be lazy at times. I'm naturally sarcastic and I don't really realize it at all so I can be sarcastically insulting at times. I also tend to curse 🤬 alot. I have a bad habit of subconsciously ignoring people when I'm engrossed with something. I'm Chaotic Good.

I like to read fiction or fantasy online novels, comics, manga, webtoons and occasional watch anime and k-drama . I love listening to music when I read or while doing arts and crafts, I'm good at drawing and painting and generally making things which interests me. Currently I have taken to Diamond painting. I like meeting my friends and hanging out. I like scrolling though insta but rarely post at all. I don't play video games just the phone games (if this makes any sense). I like to try new and different foods when traveling abroad and I occasionally cook and bake. I like spicy foods and my favorite is seafood 😋.  I like to grow flowers and plants. I like drinking Chai / tea. I also like sweets of any kind.

I dislike maths and anything related to mathematics. I don't like rainy weather and would prefer to stay in doors. I don't like being on stage and have stage fright. I have a phobia of spiders.

My biggest peeve is being told what to do or where to go. Over controlling and over possessiveness.

For me trust is very important and if you can't give me basic trust it will not work.

I'm a INFP. My zodiac is Cancer ♋ and it definitely aligns with my personality. I'm a Type 4 on the Enneagram. My Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw.

ahhhh wait a minute i still see you around in my notes hows it going bestie???💞

Honestly on first thought I was thinking of The Mammon but then I changed my mind 😅

I decided to match you with Satan!

yes i am aware those are 2 very different characters but listen.

All of the traits you bulletpointed are in balance with him; being caring comes in handy as he tends to be a bit forgetful especially when he is focused on a story of his interest, or when he is bustin with his studies.

Of couse being loyal is high on his priority list when he likes someone. He is pretty loyal himself it is understanable he wants someone just as loyal as himself.

Ahhhh the two of you are going to be the sarcastic duo at HoL. In my experience sarcadtic people get along well easily and almost instantly, though the muse of their sarcasm has to be similar. Thankfully you two are on the same team as you both despise being controlled!!

You mentioned you don't like possessiveness... well... he might be possessive if you are in the wrong company but otherwise he is not too bad? Like he definitely won't limit you or be jealous as a hobby as long as you keep boundaries (which you will) so that won't be an everyday problem.

He himself is a realist as well so there are no issues about your views!

He is pretty good at maths so I see a balance regarding this-

I feel like he also tends to leave stuff for the last minute if it's not his cup of tea, which means he won't be nagging you at all!

Now some story on how it started;

I'd think at first it was a slow attraction for you two. Like it was there but neither of you acted on it. After a while everyone knew you two have a special relation going, even if at this point you still didn't spend too much time together; you know the vibe was totally different with you two around, he became a little bit more shy... it was easy to tell.

That was until you started to open up to him too, step by step you spent more time together... he got himself thinking he needs to tell you something, he wishes he could spend more time with you, you know? He found himself genuinely curious about you!!

Some scenarios to think about;

He is pretty versatile regarding activities; if you prefer staying in this weekend that's fine, however for next weekend he already has a date planned for you! He would totally enjoy a picnic with you, or museum, library dates! He puts effort into planning these as you are very important to him 💘

Your chaotic goodness has to balance him on the regular; you know sometimes he is up to no good and it usually turns out rather bad for him. Pls be his vioce of reason if needed.

ahhh you could have a little garden with him? Okay he doesn't have a green thumb at all but he is more than willing to pick up some of the interests of his beloved other half and gardening is something he'd enjoy if he actually tried it. It is rewarding and calming!

Him baking just for you something special on a regular Thursday. ❤️‍🔥

If you ever have trouble with your studies just ask him, he is a good teacher! Well maybe not the most patient/empathetic one but at least he is pretty good at explaining.

One thing about you he is not a big fan of is your laziness. To some degree it's okay, he is not the most active either but the aim is to have balance.

a song that remind me of you two is patrick watson's je te laisserai des mots 🤭😇

[mokeonn]

Ive been drawing for 10 years and no one wants my art and i live in a community of people who dont care for each other i reslly just dont see how it gets better for me in this case and i just wish i had you optimism

Well, I don't truly know your situation so there's a lot I can't comment on or give advice for. However, I am noticing some language in this message that gives me an idea (whether it's a good one or not is up to you) of what could help.

NOTE: I'm an unemployed 23 year old who is off their depression medication. I am NOT the one to go to for life advice, I'm just speaking from personal experience.

I think the first and easiest step is to take a moment, breathe, and just think. What do you want? Do you enjoy art as a hobby and would enjoy a non-art related job? Do you want art as a job/career, but you're not exactly picky on what that job should be? Do you have a specific dream in mind, i.e., comic artist/game developer/fantasy writer/illustrator/independent business owner? Because the answer to this question means a lot to what you should do!

For example: I'm all three.

I could absolutely keep art as a passionate thing I do for myself that I happen to post online while also working at, say, a library or a laboratory. I would love to make art my primary job/career, but I'm not very picky on how I get there! I have some ideas in mind, but if they're not a good fit, I won't be too upset. I would also love to be a comic artist/game developer, I am currently working on a comic and a game right now, actually. It's taking a long time, and it's going to take ages before I get to a point where I can even post things related to it online.

So I have a metric fuck ton of options. Let's make that clear, my goal in life is to just be happy, fulfilled, and surrounded by my friends. How I get there? Doesn't matter. As long as I stay true to my personal core values and it makes me happy, I am down for whatever. This absolutely gives me an advantage over someone who, say, only wants to be a professional animator or someone who wants to sell their knitted goods in shops and online.

So once you identify what you want to do, you gotta get ready for the next step: research. Ask yourself a million questions, find an answer, talk to other artists on or off the internet, find an answer.

For example: let's say you want to be a tattoo artist, but everyone in your area thinks tattoos are of the devil. Well, some questions to ask yourself would be:

How do I become a tattoo artist? What does that entail?

Are people the next town over more alright with tattoos? What about the nearest city?

Are these locations too far to travel to?

Would I have to move to make this dream a reality? Or could I start a tattoo community here?

How will I make the money in the meantime while working towards this?

And so on and so forth. In fact, imagine under every single one of these questions, there are sub questions that expand upon your answer, ask you if that answer is achievable, and ask you if that would make you happy. Like I'm taking dig deep, man. Get into the nitty and gritty of what you want to do and how you're gonna get there. Because, at the very least, this will give you some basic goals to work towards and ideas of what you are and aren't able to do. Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone! If you spend your whole life in your comfort zone, you're never gonna learn anything.

However, I think the biggest obstacle that gets in a LOT of artists way that I pretty much spotted immediately when I read this ask: having low self-confidence and being pessimistic is absolutely getting in your way.

I've been working on my self-confidence for the last 10 months, give or take, and to say that there is a difference is an UNDERSTATEMENT. I had extremely low confidence, possibly because of a lifetime of bullying, mistreatment, depression, and a childhood of undiagnosed autism... but in all honesty the reasons don't really matter. I made self depreciating jokes ALL the time (the really harsh kind that made people uncomfortable rather than laughing with me) I constantly held myself back from doing things because I didn't believe I could do it, I hid myself all the time (metaphorically because I rarely showed others the things I was passionate in and kept myself very private out of fear of judgement... and literally too. I never fucking left the house.)

I basically was my own worst enemy, and what got me out of it was working with my friend. One day, I made a self depreciating joke or something along those lines, and she just looked at me and said "You know, it makes me very said to hear you talk about yourself like that."

She then went on to explain how I was a kind and wonderful person and it made her sad to hear me say things like that because it wasn't true and it was only preventing me from seeing what she saw. I ended up crying because it was so kind, and I never even thought about that. Around that time as well, I had made a joke around my Dad, and he said, "You know, I wish you didn't talk about yourself that way."

Over the upcoming months, I started working on my self-confidence. My friend helped a LOT whenever I went to her place to help out with her art business. She helped me gain confidence in asking questions, because before I would just avoid asking out of fear. She never yelled at me or got upset at asking questions, and would compliment me or thank me for asking a good one. It helped me learn that if someone yells at me for asking a question, they're the jerk! They're the problem, not me!

I slowly switched my language from "I think I can..." to "I can", "I'll try my best", and similar language. I went from being afraid to trying new things because I was afraid of failure to feeling completely fine with trying new things because a majority of those new things are completely low risk! If it doesn't work out, it just doesn't work out! I didn't lose anything but a little bit of time! A year ago, if something didn't work out, you might as well thought I shot your puppy or something with the way I would cry and apologize. I got better at not apologizing all the damn time, because there's no point in apologizing for things that aren't your fault!

I went to a pretty awful show with my friend where pretty much everything went wrong, and during the show it ended up POURING. We had an absolute downpour of rain. It ended up destroying a ton of stock and packaging for transportation. I had to stop myself from apologizing so much, why? Because I don't control the rain! It's not my fault that we got rained on and things got destroyed! Apologizing is not the right thing to do in this situation because there's nothing to apologize for. I ended up being a huge help in putting things away, and when I later told my friend that I had to stop myself from apologizing, she said the same thing: "it's not your fault it rained."

I can safely say that since working on my self-confidence, my mental health has been at an all-time high. My medication is more effective than ever, I am no longer struggling with depression unless off my medication, my anxiety is pretty much gone unless off medication (I need to make it abundantly clear that I have chronic depression and anxiety and I need medication to be able to function and I know that my mental health struggles are nowhere near as bad on medication, because I am currently off my meds due to doctor problems)

I have been more willing to get out of my comfort zone, learn, try new things, and work towards actual tangible goals. Because I took the time to work on my EXTREMELY LOW (I can not emphasize enough how bad it was), self-confidence, with the help of those who care about me.

Your anon message absolutely tells me you do not have very high confidence in yourself. The way you talk about "no one wanting your art" (I don't know how you know that for certain), and how you wish you had my optimism because you see no options for yourself remind me SO MUCH of how I used to be. So my biggest message really comes down to this:

If you want ANY success in life, you're going to have to allow yourself to have it.

Having low self-confidence and being pessimistic is honestly just... denying yourself the happiness you deserve. You're going to have to work on that because you deserve that happiness.

[frostbite-the-bat]

god yesterday i was so excited and motivated to play toontown and this update is pretty awesome, i love the new animations and the new cogs but most of it is basically ONLY a new coat of paint and theres nothing new to do, aside from beating up some of the new cogs to get them added to my cog schticker book. so i kinda lose motivation about it really, REALLY quickly.

i am already dismotivated and tired in general today, i got better sleep than last night and i dont know how i even functioned yesterday. so my lack of motivation and my shift of focus of Want To Play Other Game Despite Hyperfixation (minecraft and stardew valley on my 'wanna play at least a bit today' itches) is explained this way

but man. without friends i don't feel like checking most of i out - and a lot of my friends from my club already did so, without me, while i was asleep because of timezones.

(if any of u read this its not your fault im pissed at myself for being the one [well, now we have 2] europeans in our club)

so i dunno. i still gotta digest this update more, but realizing it added basically no new gameplay dismotivates me greatly. it was needed especially with some quality of life things like better tasks for clubs, emoting in a cog suit, cleaner animations (and quicker animations, too).

but holy hell there's nothing *new* to do the novelty will die off very quickly. it's just an april toons wait for me again. good update in terms of quality, i'd say.

but honestly? overhyped. i may be wrong though. bu whatever, it's my opinion and i am feeling pessimistic today. this doesn't mean i don't like the update, i do like it and it excites me. but urgh. okay. check out new things and log off and its the same. but i get it. volounteer team. they're not gonna add any big things yet. got hopes up.

mmm i've just been negative with staff or other reasons so i suppose my naturally harsher criticism stems from that. but again i still have very big respect for the work they do and i myself would not be able to do these things. but as someone who has like 133 laff and all they have left to do is graham(had task for almost year, cant get friendgroup to first time with me), prestter (skipping), oclo and maxing clo and ceo as the grindy things (and some drops, like mistys drops. how did i get all dave drops before misty.) theres so little to do like a lot of my enjoyment comes from playing with friends. and timezones are a thing. if you have lower motivation good luck getting shit done here

ugh still i cant overstate how dearly i love this game, im hyperfixated on it for a reason. and im not demanding theres more content NOW. it takes lots of time to develop. but as i keep privately yapping for Hours. staff needs better communication and pr and less of this arg shit. builds hype and then what we get is a new coat of paint

is it a good one? yes!!! does it give me new shit to do? not really. aside from wanting to draw the new cogs and new misty design.

ugh. am i being too negative? i may be. i dunno. feels odd to ramble about this knowing full well there's at least like 3 staff members who know me. maybe not on this account but, yknow.

[taxfraudhousewife]

i have to do it

i’m terrified

i don’t even know specifically what IT is

but it will be terrible and glorious

i wish you would tell me what it is

but also i think we might disagree about how to go about this

i really don’t think a protest or general strike is the move

i dont want to become like husya either

but lately i’ve been getting this horrible unprecedented feeling that what i want doesn’t even matter to me

when did i stop wanting what i want

did you want this shit

was it basically fuckin involuntary for you too

is this the uncontrollable urge that rapists try and fail to control

am i supposed to try to control this or am i supposed to go fuckin feral on the first ceo i see

am i a normal ratio of angry and sad and scared and terribly pessimistic

i thought about ouija boarding you

sometimes i think cause enough people are scared of it it must work

you would fucking hate that

everyone who id try to ouija board would hate it

even as an already dead ghost you’d still be too scared to participate

you’d swear at me in proper perfect russian

you’d freak the fuck out and your forehead would twist up with your bottom teeth bared

you’d make that fuckin face if you still had a face

i think i might be looking for a noble and righteous excuse to violently externalize my grief

is this just the adult version of cutting yourself

cause no lie fam the thought of you not having a face makes me want to fucking cut myself dude

but why cut yourself when there’s so much work to be done

i need to burn everything down so less than 1% of the population can grieve as hard as i do

and if we’re comparing i probably only grieve 45% as hard as most of the population

so if we’re going by that logic it’s not even mine to burn down

and if it’s anyone’s it’s yours but you’re not here to do it

and your angry teenagers can try and fail to avenge you from the frontier but i am fuckin inside the empire

and i have this terrible thought that it has to be me

come back

i don’t want it to be me i want to follow you into glorious revolution

i want my muslim jesus to rise like the sun to herald a new era and we’ll start over counting the years from zero

i want to be the arm that physically wages revolution so you don’t have to

i want you to sit the fuck down and fucking rest just sit there and boss me around

it would be so tempting to rest with you

why wage bloody revolution when you can bask like a cat in the sun

im running out of adults to trust and it’s easier to trust dead ones

i was so weary of you when i saw you again cause you were so nice and i thought

fuck my life it’s gonna happen again and this time it’ll be my fault because i’m old enough to say no but i won’t

don’t think about the “i won’t” part

i just mean i care what you think

my whole self worth is wrapped up in what you think of me and not even burning in hell would change that

but i was so hungry and cold and drunk

and the heat of your fever was so welcome

there was this moment when i knew you weren’t grooming me

that if your affection wasn’t true it was out of kindness at worst

i wondered if you could tell how afraid i’d become in nine years

i couldn’t stop shaking and i wanted to fucking die because i knew that you knew and there was no escape

and you looked at me with this nauseating pity and i wanted to cry because i hadn’t been looked at like that in a long time

and suddenly i was six and too small in a world built for big people

and you were a big kind thing of such welcoming heat

you looked like shit you probably felt like shit

and i was supposed to be babysitting you

but you put one fuckin hand on my arm so gently that i folded like a fucking chair

and it all came out and i was certain you’d hate me for it but i couldn’t stop

i was so cold and hungry and drunk

and you were so warm and so wise

and i just cried harder cause it felt like you lost twenty lbs in two weeks

and i clung onto your shoulder blades for dear fuckin life

and i wanted to keep starving so i could be like you but your pity made starving even more shameful than eating

how could i not eat when this fucking communist who i’ve known my whole life only in skype calls

barely escapes six different instances of death to look me in the fuckin face

and act like i’m the one who’s all skinny and sickly and in need of protection and pity

i wanted to say fuck you have you seen yourself

i wanted to scream and cry that your sorry state was why i couldn’t bear to be anything other than hungry

i wanted to beg you to burn the whole world down so i could fucking eat like a fucking human

why’d you start talking in perfect proper russian

did you think you could gaslight me into being worse off than you for a second

extroverted psychopath is that how you cope with shit

i think it worked cause i certainly felt like a six year old freshly dragged out of white people hell

fuck you i wasn’t exactly super mega verbal but i know it wasnt literally so incomprehensible that you had to shush me

you fucking psychopath was that on purpose

i cried harder cause you hugged me tighter but all i could feel was tremors in your hands and bones in your chest

and the wheezing of your breath reverberated in me

despite all this worry over spreading your sick i clung to you like a desperate child

what the fuck was that what was the actual narrative function of that

i can’t stop agonizing over it

what the fuck was i to you

why did you hold me like nothing had changed since i was six

why were you so careful with every touch and word as if i was still the fragile one

as if you weren’t the one who weighed as much as a fourteen year old asian girl

why didn’t you shove me off of you and tell me to stop being weird

youre my whole fuckin religion but for all i know i didn’t mean fuck all to you

and for all i know i could’ve been your whole fuckin religion

i doubt it

but if i was nothing to you why did you hold onto nothing so tightly

why would anyone be so kind to nothing if not to groom her

maybe i’m fucking dumb for being so certain that you weren’t

honestly even if you were

i’d take it id take anything other than this

maybe you were just nice to kids

and i was just a kid who clung to any male relative if they were nice to me

still to me you are the warmth of black tea and sunlight

you left me with this longing and fury and glorious purpose

now i cry at the sunset and children at the protests

cause their parents stand behind them hand on shoulder

i’ll be the first to admit that

i think your risk so inconsiderate

muslim jesus are you god or man

you made my wings out of your candles

and i know that’s the point

but i think the enemy has normal non melting wings

the principle of having wax wings is righteous and noble and very you

but i feel like it’s like throwing rocks at tanks

if anyone got fucking disintegrated by the sun or whatever i think it’s you

i think you knew you would

i hate it i hate this i hate you

i think you’re fucking inconsiderate

you cast your mercy limitless

i gotta tell myself you died for our sins

fuck the uyghurs fuck the palestinians fuck the tibetans

they’re not human to me

not anymore not stacked up against you

that’s how i know i didn’t hold my religion close enough

i know

it was your whole fuckin life

your whole world your whole shtick

and i curl up in bed and give you shit for it when i’m angry at you

i try to imagine the glory and fireworks and orchestra of it all

i try to feel the rush of happy chemical i think you might’ve felt

when it was just you and the desert and a truck full of humans

and the huge sky and the dust and the glorious autistic mischief of it all

i imagine you would’ve been happy

i try to ignore the genocide part of genocide

cause if i think about it correctly enough

just politically autistic you revelling in community based defiance

just autistic you in all your golden glory

just you being so sure of what you are and what your god asks of you

it’s the only thing i have from you that doesn’t make me immediately sad

if your religion is real i think you’re the proof

and i’m so jealous of you for it

i really think you would’ve saved everyone

all of us

it had to be you and now that it’s not it feels like there really is nothing left

i feel like it has to be me because of you

because you made my wings out of your stupid candles and planted in me a tiny seed that doesn’t want to watch the whole world burn

and i’m so angry at you for even considering the idea of wax wings as if there was some kind of natural order you were bound to

as if you’re not slightly less mortal than all of us

toga you said we have to be smart about this shit

you said you can’t change the world if you’re dead

you said you won’t be dead because you’re smart about your shit

fuck dude what am i meant to do with this

i know you wouldn’t want me to convert you’d smack the shit out of me

you’d tell me i’m doing it for all the wrong reasons and you would be super right

who the fuck is allah do you mean my fuckin toga

still i might just convert cause if i can’t be like you i might as well kill myself

my schizophrenic jihadi version of you is always telling me to do it

whatever it is

i know it’s not you i know you very much don’t want me involved

i’ve just got some white saviour shit going on i know this isn’t your plan

but i’ve convinced myself that if i can burn the whole world down i’ll feel what you felt

or what you were supposed to but didn’t

idk

wish you’d taught me the mystical magical perfect balance between burning and building

i promise i won’t convert keep your shit as yours and i’ll keep mine as mine

which i hate because i don’t look like mine i look like yours but that’s just cause im half white

there’s just something so exciting about there being a whole ethnicity that looks like me

ex ussr interior design despite everything else being foreign to me

and it’s so exciting that it’s your ethnicity

tricks me into thinking it’s my fight more than it really is