#based on a real conversation!

[orangesand-lemons-234]

[theaceofarrows]

[Nightwing and Red Hood on a stake out outside a convenience store]

Nightwing: [watching the back] See anything yet?

Red Hood: [watching the front] A lady just bought $75 worth of cookies and two gallons of milk

Nightwing: Wow. Cookie Monster in disguise

Red Hood: Didn't know Cookie was a thirty something year old woman. Very good disguise

Nightwing: That's the point. He hides in plain sight

Red Hood: Sure, if you say so

[Half hour later]

Red Hood: Any changes from your side?

Nightwing: Other than me wanting a cookie? No

[riggsink]

@star-sparkler I humbly offer this comic of August, she is light itself and perfect in every way

[adhahyperfocusingonsomething]

Duke: “Why are French Fries called French Fries? They aren’t French.”

Jason: “Maybe your supposed to speak French when eating them”

Dick: “OR Maybe they are so hot, that when people eat them they go WEH WEH HOHN HON trying to cool their mouths.”

Duke:

Jason:

Jason: “That’s so ridiculous it’s almost funny.”

[slowandsteddie]

Steve, has a seizure and passes out

Steve, wakes up in the hospital

Steve, immediately clocking the worry on Eddie’s face and unable to look away

Steve, forcing a smile: “sorry for being so dramatic. I was just bored and wanted out of the house.”

Eddie, making a choked sound

Eddie, glancing at Dustin who has very red eyes

Eddie: “you know you could have just asked me to take you on a drive.”

Steve, snorting: “we do that all the time. I wanted something different. This car made a cool noise.”

Dustin: “Seriously, Steve?”

Steve, pouting: “I just wanted to go in the wee-woo wagon.”

[fun-k-boards]

I'm asexual

'But you can still like have sex right?'

I am fifteen. Why the fuck do you need to know.

[sgt-tombstone]

Soap, slurring: LT, you're so pretty

Ghost, fondly: you're drunk, Johnny

Soap: yes, but in the morning I won't be, and you... will be

Ghost, trying to hide a smile: I'll be drunk in the morning?

Soap: yes :)

Ghost: fuckin' hell, Johnny, go to bed

[r1ch13-tv]

[puppyeared]

id fumble him so bad

[pearlynia]

James: Communication is key

Regulus: well then I lost the key

Barty, Evan and Sirius losing it in the back

[cosmicseafoam]

Phantom, seeing Dew for the first time as he’s being dragged back into the Abby hissing and clawing and covered in blood.

Phantom: “was it self defence?”

Swiss: “no”

Phantom: “was it an accident?”

Swiss: “…no”

Phantom: “was he possessed?”

Swiss: “no”

Phantom: “is he single?”

Swiss: “yes!”

Aurora: “PHANTOM NO”

[ironskyfinder]

Bounce/drop

Goonettes are one of god’s gifts to man.

Naive, doe-eyed, innocent girls who get exposure to the right kinds of filth at the right time end up as self-addicted pleasure dolls, chasing the next edge, the next rush. The only problem - for them, not for anyone else - is that often they rub themselves so dumb they can’t be trusted to edge without making mistakes and giving into pleasure, and they get to be so brainless that they need instructions on how best to corrupt themselves. 

As I said, not a problem for anyone else.

Emily had still been a feminist, when she started following me - not much of one, but she still had moments where she'd go back to thinking she was equal, that she should go to college and have a career and make something of her life outside the kitchen and bedroom - and she hated it.

She mentioned, in one of her messages, that she had always wished she could make her breasts more sensitive - at a 38GG, I liked to remind her she had 'udders' - so, one of the times she asked for me to make her brain worse, I took her on an edge she still thanks me for even today.

ironskymaker [10:58PM] I wrote instructions for an edge for you, but this is a much more directed edge than just sending you gooning fuel and some degrading messages, so you’ll need to be able to narrow your attention to this so that you can respond when prompted. Understood?

ironskymaker [10:58PM] I'm not going to ask you to focus, I know you can't do that, not really.

goonette4everr [11:00PM] yes

ironskymaker [11:02PM] You’ll need to follow along closely, okay? I’m going to have you hump a pillow - I think you should use the pillow you sleep on - over and over and over, and I’m going to try and break your brain even more than usual. Ready?

goonette4everr [11:03PM] yessir

ironskymaker [11:04PM] As always, you should be naked when you edge. Take a selfie, once you are - think of it as the ‘before’ photo, so we can compare how you look once I’m done with you.

goonette4everr [11:05PM] you assume right. selfie taken.

ironskymaker [11:05PM] Face the mirror and start humping, nice and slow. Be gentle enough it’s frustrating, like I’m teasing you by holding your hips, slowing you down - just enough pressure that your clit begs for more, not enough to start you grinding mindlessly.

goonette4everr [11:07PM] ok...ok thas gonna drive me nuts

ironskymaker [11:08PM] That’s exactly the point. Light, little motions at first, enough to make you want to grumble and moan and swear because it's such a teasing sensation.

goonette4everr [11:08PM] fuck

ironskymaker [11:10PM] Good goonette, keep going. Little by little, faster and harder. Hips rocking back and forth, little by little pressing more against the pillow with those little motions. Watch yourself in the mirror, teased and frustrated but still grinding away like you’re told.

goonette4everr [11:10PM] hmmmnnn

ironskymaker [11:11PM] You’ve been craving this all week. Let yourself relax into it. You need this, turning your brain off and letting your clit think for you, edging for hours and hours until it’s all a blur. Keep humping, a little faster, a little harder  - you should be starting to feel it now. 

ironskymaker [11:13PM] How does your edge taste?

goonette4everr [11:13PM] goood, so wet

ironskymaker [11:14PM] Start grinding and humping faster, little by little. Every time you hump your pillow, you grind the littlest bit faster. 

goonette4everr [11:15PM] hunh...feelin it now

goonette4everr [11:15PM] fuck!

ironskymaker [11:16PM] Less and less gently, keep your hips moving, faster and faster. Let the motions grow, the harder the edge gets the more you move.

ironskymaker [11:17PM] Keep going, a little harder every time you hump. Make the motions bigger, gradually starting to grind with a little more pressure each time. Harder, faster, keep grinding on your pillow. Look at yourself in the mirror and make an ahegao face, grinding extra hard and extra slow while you let your tongue hang out until the drool hits your tits. 

goonette4everr [11:19PM] hnnnnnn oh ffuuuuuck

ironskymaker [11:19PM] Don’t forget to tug on your nipples a little to make them hard, if they weren’t already; don’t stop humping. 

goonette4everr [11:20PM] theyr hard, mmmm god

ironskymaker [11:21PM] Pinch and pull on your teats, grind on your pillow more. Reach back and tease your asshole a little.

ironskymaker [11:21PM] Remember, all your useful parts deserve to be part of your edge - speaking of your mouth, test your gag reflex as you start humping faster and harder.

goonette4everr [11:22PM] hkkkkkkkkk

ironskymaker [11:22PM] How are you feeling, lil goonette?

goonette4everr [11:23PM] goodsogood! fukkk

goonette4everr [11:23PM] i look so dum so horni

goonette4everr [11:24PM] fuck!!

ironskymaker [11:25PM] Good! But I want you extra desperate and broken, so I’m giving you a break.

ironskymaker [11:25PM] Sit up off your pillow, so your drippy clit is nowhere near anything that might stimulate it - then hump the air, bouncing a little.

ironskymaker [11:27PM] Understood?

goonette4everr [11:27PM] whait noo 

goonette4everr [11:28PM] nnnnnooo oh ok, ok, i will i will

ironskymaker [11:28PM] I know, it's hard to have self-control - but you don't need to! I'll have your self-control instead, just relax and obey.

goonette4everr [11:30PM] obeyying...is...goood....thanku sir

ironskymaker [11:30PM] Keep humping. Feel your tits swing as you bounce, feel how they want to pull you down, back onto the pillow. Grab one, suck on your nipple. Hump and grind and bounce. Grab the other and suck on both your nipples at once, then let them drop from your mouth. Hump the air a little more, bounce and let your udders drop, feel them pulling all the thoughts out of your brain.

goonette4everr [11:32PM] hnnnnnn

ironskymaker [11:32PM] Bounce and hump the air until your tits pull all the thoughts from your brain, until they pull you back down to humping your pillow.

ironskymaker [11:33PM] Doesn’t your edge feel better already?

goonette4everr [11:33PM] yyyyeesss

ironskymaker [11:34PM] Again, humping and grinding like a good girl, faster and harder. Grind your clit into your pillow as you reduce yourself to obedient holes for a stranger on the internet, like a real feminist traitor. 

goonette4everr [11:35PM] i feel so slutty an stupid

goonette4everr [11:36PM] itsh shooo gooood!!!

ironskymaker [11:37PM] Look in the mirror - do you like the slut you see?

ironskymaker [11:37PM] Hump and bounce and whisper to yourself that your holes and tits are all that matter, they give you value and purpose and a reason for men to find you useful. 

goonette4everr [11:39PM] i lov bein a traitor!! i luv lookin at myshelf bein a whoooore

goonette4everr [11:39PM] yessss hnnnn

ironskymaker [11:41PM] Grind even faster, even harder. You can really feel it now - you’re pressing harder, humping faster, hips moving more so you bounce - and when you bounce, your udders swing. When your udders swing, you feel your brain drain and you’re closer to just being tits and holes. Holes keep being drippy, tits keep bouncing.

ironskymaker [11:42PM] Now how does your edge taste, lil goonette?

goonette4everr [11:42PM] tassts like dspration

ironskymaker [11:43PM] Good. Keep going. Hump and bounce, letting the haze of the edge and the pull of your tits wash your mind away. 

ironskymaker [11:44PM] Harder, faster, humping and grinding, leaking all over your pillow - pause for a moment, to bury your face in the wet spot you’re making, take a deep breath. Then get back on your pillow and keep humping. The smell and taste of your edge everywhere, rewiring your brain to tie that to the overwhelming pleasure you’re feeling.

goonette4everr [11:45PM] hhhnnnnn

goonette4everr [11:45PM] so dirrty

ironskymaker [11:46PM] You liked that too much not to do it again. Put your face into the pillow, rub it into the wet spot. You love how the sensation corrupts you, how it makes your edge so much stronger. Don’t you?

goonette4everr [11:48PM] fuck pleas yess

ironskymaker [11:49PM] Edging makes you feel so good, your brain can barely take it - but that’s fine, you don’t need it anyway, you don’t need to think.

ironskymaker [11:49PM] The instructions become your actions.

ironskymaker [11:50PM] Your clit isn’t there to handle big thoughts, your udders aren’t made for thinking, but you were made to obey. Keep humping and grinding, edging and bouncing, faster and harder. 

goonette4everr [11:52PM] hmmm...yesh yeh no thnk...jus...edge

ironskymaker [11:53PM] The more you edge, the more you’re just drooling holes and bouncing udders. Wipe the slick juices running down your thighs all over your face and imagine tasting it on a thick cock filling your throat. Don’t stop grinding, don’t stop bouncing, keep your hips moving.

goonette4everr [11:54PM] bounc

ironskymaker [11:54PM] Wipe the slick mess from your cunt onto your nipples, pinch and pull on your teats. Keep one of your teats in your mouth, massage and milk the other. Hump and bounce and grind, let your brain go blank, then let your udder drop and suck your other nipple clean. Are you enjoying yourself?

goonette4everr [11:56PM] iy am...iam!!!

goonette4everr [11:57PM] i tayst so gud

ironskymaker [11:57PM] Does the girl looking back at you from the mirror seem like she’s having fun too?

goonette4everr [11:59PM] she dos, she looks sho happi, so blank

ironskymaker [11:59PM] I bet she looks like a porndoll. Her eyes all unfocused, sweaty, shaking, needy, her desperate clit soaking her pillow. 

goonette4everr [12:00AM] mmmhmmm...such a needyslut

goonette4everr [12:00AM] shooo dum

ironskymaker [12:01AM] Time for another break.

goonette4everr [12:01AM] hnnnnnnnn!!!!

ironskymaker [12:02AM] I know you don’t want to, but - stop edging, sit up so you can hump the air like the desperate fuckmeat you are.

goonette4everr [12:03AM] yeshyesytes!

ironskymaker [12:04AM] I know you’re horny, I know you’re needy, just let your hips move against the nothing and let the ache drain your thoughts away.

ironskymaker [12:04AM] And, while you do - pick up your tits, play with them, squeeze and massage them, hold them out and then drop them.

goonette4everr [12:05AM] mmm...

ironskymaker [12:05AM] Feel that pull make you dumber. Let the things you used to call ‘important’ wash away as you start bouncing in the air, as your udders pull your thoughts out of your mind

ironskymaker [12:06AM] Did you have work today, did you have plans after, were there errands that need doing? Pick up your tits, play with them, then drop them as you bounce, and all of it is gone.

goonette4everr [12:07AM] hmmm...gone. 

goonette4everr [12:07AM] allgone

ironskymaker [12:09AM] Bounce, drop. Take another selfie, see what you look like after I’ve played with your brain for less than an hour, and imagine how much more I’ll do.

goonette4everr [12:09AM] hheeehee she looksh crazi

goonette4everr [12:10AM] sush a mess!

ironskymaker [12:10AM] Hump, grind, bounce, drop. Tits don’t have plans. Holes don’t run errands.

goonette4everr [12:11AM] mmmmmm

ironskymaker [12:11AM] There’s only obedience, only edging and doing what you’re told. Bounce, drop, hump, grind.

goonette4everr [12:12AM] only

goonette4everr [12:12AM] please 

ironskymaker [12:12AM] How does your edge taste now?

goonette4everr [12:14AM] sssssgud

goonette4everr [12:14AM] ssssssnice

goonette4everr [12:14AM] fuckk

ironskymaker [12:15AM] Bounce, drop. More thoughts gone, brain all drained. Hump, grind, bounce, drop. 

ironskymaker [12:16AM] Bounce, drop. Take another selfie, see what you look like after I’ve played with your brain for less than an hour, and imagine how much more I’ll do tomorrow.

ironskymaker [12:17AM] The girl in the mirror just wants to keep edging and bouncing and dropping forever, and so do you. Bounce, drop.

goonette4everr [12:17AM] please ruinmy brain mroe

goonette4everr [12:18AM] hheeehee she looksh crazi

goonette4everr [12:18AM] sush a mess!

ironskymaker [12:19AM] And how are you feeling now, lil goonette?

goonette4everr [12:21AM] alll edged out, reallly hazy

ironskymaker [12:22AM] Good goonette. Bedtime, then, and no touching until the morning.

goonette4everr [12:23AM] ohh fuck  yessir please tomorrow 

goonette4everr [12:23AM] i can’t wait

@goonedoutdropout

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

The way we discuss prophecy in fandom is genuinely fascinating. GRRM spends so much time showing how different characters have different interpretations of the same thing based on their own cultural contexts. He says that prophecy is tricky to navigate through multiple characters, showing that even the most careful practitioner can get almost everything wrong and fall victim to their own fallacies (see Mel). So tell me why the main takeaway for large parts of this fandom is “prophecy stupid, it doesn’t matter”. My brothers and sisters in R’hllor, GRRM didn’t invent multiple characters (three of whom are main POVs!!) who can see the future for this to be the conclusion. This is a FANTASY series. Please I’m begging, let us be serious 🥲

[here-comes-the-moose]

*looking at old photos of Omega*

Crosshair: Ha, you look like you bite people in this one.

Hunter: Cross, you bit people.

[emolionsrawr]

buck: i'm emotionally horny

tommy:.... run that by me again sweetheart?

buck: i don't know how to explain it, i'm craving, but emotions

tommy: do you mean you want a cuddle?

buck: YES!

tommy: THAT'S NOT HORNY!!

buck: i'm horny for affection baby get over here and cuddle me!

tommy: alright baby, but only if you stop calling it horny

buck: deal

[thevalleyisjolly]

It's a minor detail but I'm so emotional over Doctor Who making the universal human language in the future based on Cantonese.