#based off a canon comic

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce trying to explain where he was when he lost his memory

Jason (eyeing Bruce skeptically): You lost your memory?

Bruce (nodding matter-of-factly): Yep.

Dick (raising an eyebrow in disbelief): Then… you became a teacher?

Bruce (shrugging slightly): Yep.

Tim (leaning forward, curious): And got into a relationship?

Bruce (glancing to the side, slightly embarrassed): Yep. She was nice, but she couldn’t match my—uh, let’s just say Selina can do things for me that she couldn’t.

His sons screamed and covered their ears at the mention of Bruce’s escapades. Bruce stopped talking with an eyebrow raised.

Bruce (scolding tone): You're all childish.

Dick (covering Damian’s ears, looking exasperated): None of us need to hear about that and Damian is a child.

Bruce (flatly): I’ve had “the talk” with all of you, except Damian.

Damian (moving Dick’s hands from his ears, unimpressed): I’m good! Let’s get back to the questions. You had memory loss, became a teacher—I’m not sure how that was so easy—and got a girlfriend. Okay, sure. I think we can all move on from the fact that you were just living a normal life.

Bruce (shrugging): Eh, it was passé. The teacher’s salary wasn’t much to live on alone.

Dick (pointing a finger in Bruce’s direction): Bruce, please focus.

Bruce (gesturing to Jason with an inviting nod): Right, you’re leading to a main question. I know where this is going, and I expected it. Um… Jason, I feel like you’ll ask this the best way.

Jason (raising an eyebrow, intrigued): Oh, thanks. All right, so yes, we can let that go. But when Bloom was here, you had Alfred strap you into a memory-regaining chair that can kill anyone who's not you. But if it's you, it’ll work and you'll be brought back to life as a bright light shines on your face.

Bruce (hesitating, then nodding): Yep… I swear I’m a super genius.

Jason (laughing, confused): WHAT THE FUCK?!

Bruce (chiding playfully): Language.

Damian (leaning in, genuinely curious): No, that word's usage is warranted here. Why do you have that?!

Tim (concerned, trying to wrap his head around it): How did you set it up to do that?

Dick (throwing his hands up dramatically): Why didn’t I get one?!

His brothers (in unison, surprised): What?!

Dick (throwing his hands in the air, exasperated): I lost my memory too and became Ric Grayson, but he didn’t have a freaking magic chair for me?! The audacity! The betrayal, Bruce!

Bruce (shrugging, as if it were no big deal): I had the chair set to cause brain death if it was an imposter, but for the person it's meant for the result feels like your brain is about to explode. I didn't want to inject you into that; it hurt me when I went through it. The imposter could recover, I know people who can help with that, but it’s not fun going through it. I had to set up a fancy light and everything.

Jason (leaning back, eyes wide in disbelief): How much did that cost you?

Bruce (grinning proudly): I stopped counting dollars when I passed billionaire status.

Jason (looking around, still amused): Got me there! Who’s next to ask a question?

Tim (frowning with concern): Bruce, that’s not a good thing that you experience that pain… Why do you insist on subjecting yourself to weird pain?!

Bruce (flatly): Why do you enjoy electroshocks?

Tim (throwing his hands up in frustration): I do not talk about that! Weren't you concerned if you went brain dead and the light you set up didn't do anything? You just end up a vegetable?

Bruce (calmly explaining): I don't factor those concerns because I'm Batman.

Dick and Tim (in unison): Stop using that as an explanation for everything!

Bruce (doubling down): I will when I can't use it for something! That has not happened yet.

Jason laughed, covering his face in disbelief because all of this was still surreal.

Jason (amused): Even in Gotham, where I've seen you fight aliens and I was brought back to life, this is the trippiest thing to hear. You have a chair that gives you your memories back, but anyone else who uses it will go brain dead. That’s so meticulously messed up and... makes so much sense for you.

Bruce (nodding and missing the point): Thank you, I'm glad you get it.

Damian: Jason, could you not get it? I’m so angry right now I can’t string the correct words together.

Bruce (sighing, trying to explain): I’ll give you a minute to collect your thoughts. I'm sorry I forgot about you, but now that I'm back, I can resume my job as Batman and father. You're welcome.

Dick (stomping his foot upset): Damn it!

Bruce (reassuringly): You can take over when I retire.

Damian: The hell he will!

Bruce: You'll be his Robin, obviously. You won't be left out.

Dick (accepting that part): Huh, that's not a bad trade off, but Damian doesn't seem to agree.

Tim and Jason laughed, both sharing the same amusement as Damian's face turned red.

Bruce (explaining further): As for why I didn't make one for Dick when he got shot in the head and lost his memory, you went missing for months for a start.

Dick: Okay, I'm the victim here; I went by Ric without a K!

Bruce (shrugging): And I worked as a teacher, so it's not a contest. Anyway, why I never equipped the chair for any of you… I just didn't feel like it, honestly.

Bruce crossed his arms, his silence indicating that he didn't feel the need to elaborate further.

Dick (smirking knowingly): That's all he’s going to say about that.

Damian (yelling, flailing his arms in frustration): OH MY GOD, WHY WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT FOR US?!

Bruce (sighing): I wanted you to have the option to start a new life.

Damian (stamping his feet, eyes wide with anger): THAT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE IN THAT SITUATION, YOU GOOBER!

Jason laughed, amused by the youngest Robin's anger.

Damian (continuing): We have been over this; none of us would be better off without you. Tim pretty much adopted you!

Tim nodded while trying to Google if he could make a magic memory chair.

Dick (sitting down in the lounge chair): If the fail-safe is that the person who’s supposed to get the memories lives, why not give us that option for the magic chair?!

Bruce: It's not magic, it's science.

His son (in unison): It's magic, bitch!

Dick (cont'd): Bruce, think about what I went through. I was so mean and weird. I became a taxi driver! Think of all the time I wasted! All the nights without Kori... or Janice... Or Liz. I hated the name Ric Grayson too!

Jason (placing a hand on Dick's shoulder): Ric, I lost my memory and woke up in the lazarus pit; calm down.

Dick (sighing heavily): I'm not letting that go ever. And while I did enjoy being Batman at times, I had to sub for him, and he was off teaching, hooking up with a random woman!

Bruce (looking contemplative): Does that count as cheating on Selina? I’ve been debating this.

Jason (smirking): Nah, you didn’t remember her, so it’s not really cheating. Plus, you dumped the other lady. You should be fine.

Bruce (raising an eyebrow, surprised): Good to know. Thanks, Jason. You're being oddly calm about this.

Jason (relaxed): I’m strangely used to this insanity, and you needed a vacation.

Dick (pointing an accusing finger at Bruce): Dude, he never even asked us if we wanted that chair!

Jason (chuckling): You weren't complaining about being Batman!

Dick (complaining, pouting): That’s very true… but I had to deal with Babs' serial killer brother. That wasn’t fun.

Jason (grinning mischievously): That was kind of cool, though. And you can keep mocking Babs about it.

Dick (smirking cheekily): Not if I want explicit photos kept secret. The moment I get those pictures, I will mock her though

Tim (gesturing emphatically): We’re veering so off-topic. Ric Grayson happened, Dick Grayson as Batman was fun, but Bruce, we want memory chairs!

Bruce (holding out his arms for a hug): All right, I can try to set up your own memory sessions for the chair in a few weeks. But can’t you just be happy I’m alive and back?

Bruce held out his arms for a hug. Damian stomped off in frustration.

Damian (storming off): I could handle the memory surge and not go brain dead! I'm going to my room, Father!

Tim (smiling softly): Hm… I’m hugging you. We only get these once in a while.

Tim hugged Bruce, joined by Dick, who sighed, initially annoyed but ultimately happy to have his father back. Jason shrugged and then joined in the group hug as well.

[paintedcrows]

Had a silly thought about hypothetical cat curse shenanigans with @dark-lord-of-awesomeness's How to Cat Burglar a Family ;)

Bonus doodle!!

[chloesimaginationthings]

William gives Michael a very “good” FNAF gift..

[laroserie]

i love the idea of joining the batfam by dating bruce, but can you imagine how awkward it must be ?

like you are dating bruce, you most probably know he is batman (he couldn't date seriously someone and never tell them) which is like a huge thing, you probably knew each others for at least 5 years and dated for at least 2 before you even step foot in his house and even then ! you still have never meet any of his adopted kids, he always has a way of avoiding The meeting.

of course - you know who his kids are, bruce is ... literally the it guy of gotham, you very much know the names and faces of his family - but that's it (now if you know their vigilantes identities is different story)

the question is, are they aware of your existence ? (of course alfred is aware; that out of the question, he followed to development of yours and bruce relationship from a to z)

going more for a no, not at the start, bruce has this clumsy dumb bilionaire personality but he probably could not like for you to receive media attention because he doesn't wish for your privacy to be intruded upon because you are dating (now there may have been one instance where the paparazzi took a picture of you and him together, but they could only see you from the back, or your face wasn't visible for whatever reason). they probably learnt about your existence very late into your relationship with bruce, and it's surely by accident, like, one of them see a message from you to bruce (and it's something probably something very cheesy) when he left it somewhere by inadvertence. and depending on who see that, they either fully open bruce's phone (sorry but they all know his phone password, bruce isn't aware of that tho) and read your conversation or they find some others way to have access to his messages with you (that isn't so blatant).

they for sure, do an 'emergency' meeting about it (dick and damian were the two that really wanted to do one, the rest probably don't care that much at that time, they probably think you are just the fling of the month for bruce - well usually the fling of the month is not that ... cheesy with him ? in their messages, and the conversations aren't usually that long ... nor do they go back that much. but whatever ! they do suddenly notice that it's been a while, since, well the last fling of the month of bruce but, it must just be a coincidence) which end up with them keeping tabs on you, just in case

now, you meeting them could happen in two way

either they are the one to meet you first - they don't want to wait for bruce to formally introduce you to them - or them to you. the one that 'lead' this is for sure damian, he is determinate to find out your intention with his father (and fight you), dick will lie and say he is just there to make sure everything go 'well' but he is just genuinely very curious about you and the fact that you are dating bruce - this can go for most of them, tho cass and tim are probably the one that are the most reticent to meeting you ? but nevertheless, they still are here, because they for sure won't let damian and dick have all the 'fun'. now jason, is probably also coming for the shit and giggle.

or you meeting them could happen because of bruce - deciding that it's finally time you meet his kids, so he invite all of them to dinner telling them he was someone he wants them to meet, and telling you explicitly that he wants you to meet his family (and the people that are part of his family but aren't family family) - of course, he could talk about it with you first, he could never force you into that. the meet - dinner, probably do not go in the way bruce hoped for it to go (but truth be told, he wasn't expecting it to go the way he wished it did). it's not awful, nothing bad happen. it's just awkward. one of them (probably jason) let slip that they already knew about you - damian make it very clear that he doesn't accept you (and dick has to try to diffuse the situation and tell you that damian is just joking - damian is not joking and he gives a death glare to dick), tim probably do not say anything of half of the dinner before asking you a weird question about something he should have no information about (like what's up with one of your weird habit / quirk), cass is just silent - she assess you for the entirety of the dinner (she conclude by the end of it that you quite a nice person and that she likes you quite a bit), duke is very kind and is very polite with you (he is a bit apprehensive and isn't sure why he is there but he figures it's because bruce wanted to have at least one regular person treating you normally - dick is too ... enthusiastic for that role)

at the end of said dinner, when bruce is driving you home, it's probably the most silent ride home you have ever experienced. until you burst out laughing - the dinner was probably the funniest shit you experienced. it felt like it came straight out of a shitty tv show with 14 seasons. sure it was very much awkward but still funny ! you reassure bruce that it was fine, though you could have liked a warning.

and ... you can add a yandere twist on it, and i love yandere so ... . some of them (tim and cass and probably dick) could start developing yandere tendencies when they learn of your existence ( and keep 'tab on you' aka stalks you and learn everything they can about you ), the others (damian and jason + eventually steph and duke even though they are probably some of waaay lesser yandere-y yandere) could start becoming like that after they finally meet you in person. damian could be the one to take the most or less time to become attach on you, it depend, but he could go thru a big phase of 'i refuse for you to replace talia, my mother, therefor i will despite your entire existence' but if you try to get closer to him, this phase will end very soon and his barrier melt away, if you want to let him take his time to accept you, the result will be the same but damian will try to make up for the time he hated you.

and of course, yandere bruce could be so happy for you to like / get to know and get closer to his family, and that's one more way he can tie you to him !

[welcometogrouchland]

ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)

[ahfrickenfrick]

bruce would be the kind of dad to make fun of his kids for watching something, then stand there and watch it with like a stupid handful of cashews

and suddenly he’s telling dick his favorite characters, he’s having duke quiz him on names, & stephanie had to pull up the character quizzes again because bruce was adamant that he knew which of his kids are what character

they all come back to the manor after a week in blud and find him wrapped up in a blanket watching the new episode without them

[howlonomy]

imigane clover ever letting slip how fucked they family life was and ceroba just being mortified

the gang ends up on the local news

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Smell Check [Easy: Failure]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)

[lysenfeu]

Victor loves Logan more than the X-Men ever could.

The X-Men love Logan because of what he does for them.

For the older ones, his teammates, he's still a weapon. Does the hard and dirty work the others are too noble or weak for. He's a meat shield at best, built for carving through front lines and taking the brunt of the action. At worst, he's the exact snarling beast he violently rejected when Victor told him it was what they he was, just directed at a different enemy. Foes that have been officially deemed Bad Enough to Die, so he can justify it to himself, avoiding the guilt and pain he still carries for being nothing more than an animal with blood-stained claws.

For the younger generation, he protects them. Wandering around adopting so many scared little kids, bringing them to the mansion and teaching them to... what? Be heroes. More accurately, soldiers. They sacrifice their abilities and individual identity, in exchange for a codename, spandex tights and a pledge to fight for Xavier's dream. He's a military recruiter, once again justifying the cycle by telling himself it's for the greater good. For the mutant dream! He's still a weapon, but on the side of good. He's a hero, as long as he behaves. As long as he doesn't get too dark, too angry, too violent. He's a hero now. Right?

But Victor? Victor loves Logan simply for everything is already is. For what he's made of, forged from the same slate of bloodlust and pure instinct that he is. Victor doesn't care what Logan wants to do, he just wants him to be free. Free from expectation, free from the burden of performative humanity, free from the judgement of people who will never understand the pure hunger that pumps through them. To be himself, raw and unrestricted. Two wild beasts fighting and hunting side by side, for the eternity they've both been cursed with. Together.

[kitten-mitts]

Look i know Petey and Dogman are literally destined to be together. But if i can have just ONE CHANCE, PLEASE (o̴̶̷᷄ ᯅ o̴̶̷̥᷅)

[directorlyric]

MORE BEASTS !! I dont have as much stuff for Joker and Ivy yet but trust they will be dealt withh

[xxplastic-cubexx]

so ummmmm……….. how tall do you imagine erik when u draw him………….

AWESOME question ...... i got no idea...

on the real tho, charles is supposed to be around 6' so erik should be maybe 6'4-6'6 in my mind then...

[violet-sumire]

Idea: Touya has amnesia after waking up from his coma. He doesn't know who he is, but he knows that place he woke up in is bad news, so he flees like in canon. Except he doesn't know where to go afterwards.

A long story and a couple weeks spent being shuffled across various children's homes later, the HPSC catches wind of him and his powerful fire quirk. They offer to take him in and train him to be a hero, providing food and housing as well.

He takes the offer, thinking it's a no-brainer. And it is - they treat him well, give him a new (hero) name, he takes to the training well, and he makes a friend in his fellow hero-in-training Hawks! Everything's going great, especially once they graduate to being full-time heroes once they're adults.

Which makes the eventual reveal that the HPSC had very early on figured out who exactly he is, and didn't tell him, that much more personal of a betrayal.

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Glitchtrap really HATES Mike specifically

[cas-theghostking]

They all deserve a crime hat

[edwinisms]

i like to think, as a hc or a theory (because it’s definitely possible), that charles has had a few kisses throughout his high school years, sure, but past that he’s undeniably a virgin– well, kind of undeniably, because I think he’d deny it if found out by trying to use technicalities (“I mean that one time there was friction involved–“), but to any reasonable person, and by occult standards (see: edwin being a virgin sacrifice), he’s a virgin.

and i think this because it seems like him to fib about his level of experience (like he did when agreeing he’d sleep with crystal, matching her level of casualness about it) when in the presence of people who do, actually, have experience, in the hopes he doesn’t come off as lame or childish. given what we know about his “friends” when he was alive, they seem like the type to have teased or bullied boys– especially in their own circle– who haven’t gotten laid, or at the very least would’ve thought less of someone for it. and given what we know about charles, i don’t think he’d be nearly as sleazy and inconsiderate as his group when it comes to landing girls with the primary intention of adding to his body count. and considering he’s only supposed to be 16? and has never mentioned any significant relationships pre-death? it just seems unlikely.

all that to say– I can see him maintaining that facade of experience and confidence literally right up until the moment it matters, and in the heat of the moment getting nervous and embarrassed because “uhhh. so I may have been exaggerating some things.” though he’s not totally clueless either, I think it’d take a bit of a soft heart to heart moment for him to be reassured enough that he won’t fuck up and hurt his partner to go any further.

anyway not sure what the relevance of this is, but it’s something.