#bandit would absolutely kill together. make it a date

[hyperionshipping]

TRICKS can u tell me things abt ur f/os considering I rambled abt John yesterday..... TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM TELL ME SILLY CUTE THINGS U DO W THEM!!!♡♡

WELLLL. See there's SO much to sayy for this. Hmm hmm!!! Lemme list some for each romantic f/o. I love lists <3

Handsome Jack

THIS MAN. THIS MAN. HIM.

What don't I fucking do with Jack. He's everything to me. Our anniversary was earlier this month. He's not even the f/o I've had the longest but he truly is special to me. More than any other f/o

We are the worst couple. We stay winning. We are NOT made for each other <3.

Jack can't sleep without me but would not ever admit that. I sleep with my face to his chest, and his leg between my thigh.

We are the worst with PDA. Anything you can think of? Jack's done to me in public. And he will do it again. And again, and again, and again and--

I fight for Jack <3 absolutely utterly dedicated to him. In an unhealthy way.

He's gotten me bandits to practice shooting on. Live targets are better to try out new guns on after all!!

Sometimes, late at night, I get to see glimpses of his face without the mask on. He's the most handsome thing to me.

Killian Jones

The like Biggest thing I do for him is very often smooth down his hair a lot. Both when he's frazzled and just because.

This isn't a thing *I* do as much, but god he's a big ol' flirt. We are SO disgusting with our PDA. We ARE kissing again, yes indeed

We hang out at the beach pretty often! Killian swears he isn't a pirate anymore but I know the way he looks at the sea. So, often, dates end up with us walking the beach

Caleb Widogast

GOD. Where do I start?

I braid his hair a lot, so often. Or put it in a ponytail, tuck it behind his ear. Anything. Caleb always melts when I do.

We fight TOGETHER!!!! I have a whole fic on this. We always have each other's backs in combat. Where he goes I follow. That's FINAL.

We kinda. We heal each other. In more ways than one. Caleb learns to let himself heal through me, and it's the same for me

Some of our best moments is when Caleb reads to me in Zemnian. Do I understand all of it? No. But he speaks so softly, so gently, it always makes me feel safe. And Frumpkin will join us, and it's so good!!!!!

I call him sunshine and hummingbird!

Hardwon Surefoot

My honeyboy <3

I tease HIM!!! He has his moments too. The way we actually meet is him going "watch this!" and failing so bad that I laugh and call him cute and join him and the other boobs!

We also fight together for sure but it's different than Caleb and I.

I braid his hair. ALL. THE. TIME. And wash it. Style it. Eveything. Hardwon barely does his own hair anymore. I always braid it with dwarven braids for his heritage, and crick knots for the family that accepted him for who he is.

I do the same for his beard. I help him keep it in tiptop shape

ALWAYS together in one big bed.

I follow him to the ends of the earth (literally, really).

Grog Strongjaw

Power couple. That's us!

Literally. We are two barbarians. I'm letting him take my kill because it's ROMANTIC. AND YOU GUYS DON'T GET IT!!!!

What's more romantic than the heart of our enemy? Nothing! That's the gift I'm giving him.

Also his biggest hype man following Scanlan and Pike.

I pick him flowers a lot too. He always worries about breaking them cause they're real delicate and he's not but I promise him it's ok

I let him do MY hair. That's a great privilege. He's the first of the party I let touch it

Lepos

Also a PDA heavy couple. Lee sometimes gets a little flustered from it all. But he also got me in bed because he was a flirt...

He's my kitty. My big, fat, demon <3

He really likes rodeos, and I always oblige him and go with him!! I am learning about them more slowly but surely.

I constantly lay on his chest to listen to him purr. It's the most comforted and safe I've ever felt

We dance a lot in our house, to no particular song. If I grab his hands and look up at him and smile, ask him to dance he'll always do it!

Crowley

Little shit. *Shoves him* *punches him*

Ugh. HIM.

Behind closed doors, he's a big lover. All he wants is that, you know? And, though it takes him a while to admit it? He hasn't felt Loved like this in a while. A long while. Forever, really.

We tick each other off. Threats that go nowhere.

He sends hellhounds to watch over me! Just gotta make sure I'm safe.

He's really very protective at the end of the day. God forbid he learn a demon tried to do me harm. They aren't going to see the light of tomorrow.

He always takes me on such lavish dates. Really, I don't know what to do with myself at the places he brings me x_x

Lucifer Morningstar

rAUGH.

I fell for him so hard and so fast. Fuck!!!!!

We party often~. At Lux, at his penthouse, just out, that one time at that one place... It really doesn't end.

I dote on him so much. He says I'm awfully lovey-dovey for a demon and I just kiss him again.

Something special Luci does for just me is, since L.A. makes it hard to see the stars, he drives me out and away just so I can look at the stars with awe. He thinks it's so beautiful to see me so enamoured with something so simple.

He sings to me too! Serenades me~. Alone in his penthouse, he'll play the piano, let me sit on the bench as he plays, or place his hands over mine to play the keys. He sings me Frank Sinatra specifically.

Jack Hodgins

Ohhh Hodgepodge. My lovebug!!

I help him with all of the experiments he does. Always hands-on with him!!

He loves flirting with me. Because he always, always figures out what to say to make me blush beet red.

He fell so damn hard for me though so like, checkmate baby!

He likes when I call him King Of The Lab <3. He is, by the way.

We always go on lunch dates to this one Sandwich shop in D.C. that's my secret little spot!!!

And, when we go out? I find every bug I can to ask him about it, and ask for facts and god I love hearing him talk. I could listen to him for hours

Lance Sweets

Sweets <3. I... Didn't expect to fall for him like I did.

I like making him blush! I do it a lot by accident. It's very easy heheh.

I love just hanging out with Sweets. He means a lot to me and he didn't GET that as much when he was a kid.

Karaoke is a thing that is like OUR thing. It was our first date too. We always sing rock songs together!!

VINYL SHOPPING TOO!!!!!!! He used to work at one, and I collect them. Sweets helps me find my favorite bands and cool, older vinyl.

John Constantine

Hold on a minute. *FUCKING SHAKESHIM SO HARD*

Okay. See. I didn't MEAN to fall in love with him!!!! Me and John's thing was. Mutually beneficial. FWB's. But I should've known he wouldn't last in one of those.

It so wasn't ME with feelings first. No. It was ol' Johnnyboy. Trust me.

We get into so many stupid situations together. Constantine and a demon together? Strap in!

Silly stuff we do together though... date nights are always fun. Wherever I wanna go.

He's stuck with me! I tell him that a lot. Even when he's being a little shit. He can't get rid of me if he tried. And oh how he tried.

Fun things to do with YOUR demon lover! Send them back to Hell!

I forgave him.

LOVE cuddling that man. And rubbing my face against his stubble or beard. Heheh ^w^.

[helga-heason]

Letter #4

Dear Selina,

I hope this finds you well. It’s been a funny few days here. Not much has happened besides me overthinking absolutely everything and Gotham PD watching me like a flock of overly cautious hawks. I’ll never understand why they’re so desperate to dig up some dirt on me - maybe they saw the Riddler’s confession that I’d inspired him, or maybe they just hate people dressed as bats. Though, what I do isn’t exactly legal, so that could be it too.

The toxicity of the Riddler’s poisoned ideologies is spreading. I see now that I am just as obsessive as him, and I fear the fallout if I go too far may be too much to bear. Vengeance is like some sort of festering wound; an untreated infection that spreads rapidly and cruelly, travelling through blood and sinking into bones - and it’s toxic. It’s poisonous and deadly. It’s also… Addictive. The pursuit of another adrenaline rush when you believe you’re doing the right thing. Sometimes it feels like I should be in Arkham, torn between the sweet seduction of insanity and the angsty pessimism of an obsessed bastard who wants the person or people who killed his parents to pay. I prevented you from killing Falcone, telling you that you’d paid enough - which you have - but god I can’t describe how much I wish I could have killed him. Cleaning up after the Riddler really isn’t easy, not when so many people seem to side with him. Murder and psychological terrorism aside, it’s not too hard to see why the great and good of Gotham’s poor banded together under his attempt at leadership. No-one listens to them, and it’s only so long before irritation becomes anger, which in turn becomes a fire that swallows everything in sight.

Robin and I have been gazing out over the view of Gotham from the Batsignal for a few weeks now, at both sunrise and sunset. She’s an early riser, I just never sleep. Alfred won’t leave me alone about it, but how am I supposed to try and improve the city if I’m busy sleeping? Randomly passing out on the nearest sofa in the Tower has worked just fine for close to three years now. If it ain’t broke… The view is beautiful. I’ve probably said this before, but it’s true. Watching the sun set slowly upon the city’s skyline is something that I could definitely get used to, munching on an out of date slice of pizza from a 24-hour corner shop, with a cat rubbing herself against my jaw. I just wish you were here to enjoy it with us.

I sometimes wonder, when I’m chasing down petty criminals, if you ever think of me. It sounds a bit… Stalker-ish to admit, but I think of you often. I miss you, a lot more than I ever believed I’d miss anyone. I sometimes think I see you around - in 44-, in the Iceberg Lounge, skulking around Oz’s back quarters, hopping around the rooftops at night, lurking in the shadows of the back alleys and running through the streets. I’ve often thought of asking if it’s you, but it never is. I do hope you’re alright. I hope your new place, and your new life, are treating you well. Oz hasn’t mentioned you in a fair few months, so I assume everything is well where you are. If you ever need help - and I know you’ve said you can look after yourself - please don’t be afraid to ask. If you call, I will answer.

I don’t want to worry you, but there’s a small gang of calico cat bandits living in your apartment now. I’ve been using it as a storage place for less important items, but have apparently now been booted out to make way for a bunch of stray calico cats. You have a thing for strays. Or you did. I don’t know if you still do. I suppose it stands to reason that strays would begin to have a thing for you.

Ah, this is… A long letter. Alright. I’ll finish this up here. I have a few criminal hangouts to check out, so I’ll go… Do that. I listened to Nirvana earlier - I’ll probably start humming “something in the way, mmmmm~” when the hangouts turn out to be inhabited. Again, I hope you’re well.

Yours, always, the Bat(man) - and Robin the cat.

[syncopein3d]

I used to do a lot of novella style text rp, first on Skype and then Discord, with people I picked up from mostly reddit, rarely here, and occasionally on Barbermonger. It wasn't because of ghosting that I quit looking. Ghosting is a frustrating inevitability of the process. It was mostly because of conflicting expectations. You see, to me there are two primary groups of rpers: storytellers and fuckers.

Storytellers want there to be a plot with a planned ending and for the characters to, if not change over it, do some interesting stuff during it.

Fuckers want to get their character laid.

There are a lot more fuckers. Sometimes they overlap. I would rp with both despite being largely in the story category because I'm aegosexual and I don't care if the characters bang or not, or in what combo of genders/sexualities. I would be looking for a good writer first, and if that meant I would be writing sex scenes, fine, sometimes those are hot. I've always loved writing dialogue and relationships, and romance and sex is a subtype of that.

The fact that I'm indifferent to my character's sex, gender, and orientation means I've written men and women both. (I always said that I'd happily play third genders, but no one asked.) I would ask partners up front what they preferred, they usually wouldn't admit it, and then I would pick the opposite gender to their stated irl one because most were straight people. People wanting queer relationships were more likely to write or respond to queer prompts, so that usually worked out. Playing gay women with a straight man was my least favorite, but in their defense, a lot of straight women wanted to play absolutely the worst yaoi twinks imaginable, and I didn't love that either.

To be clear, I love bottoms and subs; I'm a top who will reluctantly switch occasionally. My problem with these specific situations was that they ended up with me topping for characters who wouldn't exercise any agency in the story. They would want to be dragged everywhere. They wouldn't introduce lore. They wouldn't describe a room, let alone an interesting conflict or antagonist. What happens next? My character is the bottom, so it's not my problem! I asked someone to help me write a conflict once and they wrote, "then they fought some bandits, killed them, and moved on." Great. Thanks. I'll write with the bitchiest high maintenance brat in the universe before I'll write with a dead fish.

So you're probably wondering what's wrong with me that I haven't mentioned yet, like a perfect rp ad with suspicous adjectives in the partner description (open-minded towards what??). I'm a monsterfucker, kind of. I didn't care what species the other person was. I wanted to play nonhumans or humans that are altered. The closest I've come to playing a regular human was a woman with a red mutant eye she hid under a patch, and a human man with some severe scars from surviving a plague.

Basically picture a woman whose characters are never regular hot humans, who doesn't care which genitals they have, but does care intensely about story and grammar. I also wrote OC only, meaning we'd both make up characters rather than, say, the other writer playing Guilliman and me playing Yvraine or vice versa. I preferred original universes, but would write in Warhammer 40k, Fallout, and Elder Scrolls, all settings with broad, deep, relatively complicated lore.

Already you can see why it usually took me a while to find partners. I was about ninety degrees off from what most rpers wanted or were interested in, and I was picky as Hell. Frankly it's amazing I found as many partners as I did. I would end up talking at cross purposes a lot, because the other writer was focused on how to get the characters rubbing their bits together while I was trying to figure out how we get to the city where the big multispecies council happens. Eventually I found people who could do both, but I had to take the attitude toward rp ads that some men take toward dating, where you fire something off a hundred times to get one reply. Except I had it easier than straight men trying to date, because I would get at least one reply of some kind to most ads. Oh, and I'm also absolutely insufferable, if this essay so far has failed to make that clear. Like just a huge fucking twit. This has been less of an obstacle than you might suppose.

The sock puppet people were pretty funny when they were obvious. OC Only in an ad weeds out the people who want you to be Loki or Widowmaker so their horrible self-insert can knock boots, but I would still run across prompts that were very obviously someone looking for dubcon daddies and trying not to admit that directly. Originally I didn't understand why they wouldn't just say what they wanted. I eventually learned it was because actual erotic rp sites are revolting, and they were hoping to recruit someone without a lot of existing gross fetishes who would service their fetishes instead. They definitely wouldn't think of it this way. I think they probably were thinking something more like "can't we just have fun without it having to be about (X thing I'm super not into)?"

Normalcy is a shaky concept on the internet, my friends.

In the end, it ended up being easier and more fun to write and publish my own stories most of the time, whether as a novel no one reads on Kindle or a series of erotic and non erotic stories several people read on AO3. (The erotic ones get more views. By like, a lot.) I still write with a couple of friends, but I can't see myself doing public rp ads again. It's not just that I'm too old, although I really am at this point. I think the fact is that roleplay is different from writing, and I've never been very good at it.

[in-space-with-wug]

captain: i'd kill for you

captain: please ask me to kill for you

wug: no, captain

[muichiroslover]

Heyo could I request a ban x reader

Where ban and y/n first started dating before elaine so when elaine got into the picture she was a little jealous of their relationship and would try and break them up. And so one day ban and y/n got into an argument, the next day y/n and all of her stuff was gone. Elaine thinking it was a perfect time to take ban tries to comfort him but all he can think about is y/n. So eventually he finds y/n and apologizes in which y/n forgives him.

HAPPY ENDINGG

(Srry If its 2 long u don't have to do it if u dont want 2) (also I do not hate elaine xD)

Hi hi!! Yes I love this idea I love me some angst with happy ending 👀 I hope this is to your liking butterscotch!! <33 enjoy (●’◡’●)ﾉ♥︎♥︎

(Sorry it’s a little late ☹︎)

Pairings: Ban x reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood and wounds (not bad)

Genre: Angst with happy ending

_______________________________________________

You and ban had been a couple for as long as you could remember, at first it was kind of hard to approach him when you guys first met but when you guys had warmed up to each other you guys were absolutely inseparable

You guys did everything together and you were so well known your couple name around towns were “The bandit couple”

As you guys explored the world one night Ban brought up news about this drink that could give you immortality, using the sly line

“Then we can be together forever”

To which you laughed and hit him playfully, but he was entirely serious, you sighed and ended up agreeing to your adventurous boyfriends plan, if it wasn’t real at least you guys would have a fun time

So you guys began your journey to the fairy kings forest, when you guys had finally got to the tree you looked up and groaned

“That’s a huge tree, do we have to climb it?” You ask and he snorts as he already begins getting his hands and legs ready to climb

“You don’t have to, you can wait down here” he says smugly and you glare at the back of his head

“No I’m coming, I might as well see it through” you mutter annoyed to which he laughed

“That’s my girl” he says and you look away in embarrassment, feeling flustered at the comment which almost sent the blue haired man flying off the tree in amusement

As you guys climbed and finally made it to the top a girl, a little one at that looked at you both with a straight face as she puts her hand up and a huge wind blows you guys off

You scream in fear as you get blown far back and far above the ground, Ban grits and teeth and clicks his tongue as he grabs you as you guys start falling and takes the impact

You quickly got off of him and looked at him, tears almost in your eyes

“Oh my god! Ban! Ban I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for you to take the impact! Ban!! Ban-“ you frantically said to the man on the ground who’s eyes were closed

“If you keep calling my name out like that it’d be plain bullying if I didn’t wake up” he groans as he slowly sits up and you quickly hug him to which he chuckles and embraces you back

“Alright let’s try again” he says and your eyes widen slightly

“But ban-“ you begin and he just looks at you with his normal goofy smile you can never turn down, you sigh, deeply may I add and look at him

“Okay..I trust you” you say and he grins even wider as he grabs your hand and stands up as you guys started running towards the tree

The same thing happened a few times, it hurt, a lot but Ban never let you get too injured, always taking the impact of the fall even if you tried to fight with his grip in the air

The last time you guys got up there Ban grabbed his weapon and your eyes widen slightly thinking he was gonna attack the little girl

But he manipulated his staff and instead grabbed the cub with his weapon, You gasped as you two got quickly bounded by trees and the girl took the cup from Bans hand

The girl stands in front of you guys seemingly doing something then she lets us both go, Ban started explaining why you guys wanted immortality and those of such, You didn’t expect him to tell her his whole life’s story but

“Well shes too strong Y/n, let’s just go back” he says smiling at you as he holds out his hand, you smile lightly and nod as you grab it and you both head back down the tree

You guys were camping near the tree those days you were climbing it, you decided you’d stay another week since the fairy kings forest is actually quite pretty and you wanted to explore a bit before leaving since this opportunity may never come again

One night as you laid asleep in your sleeping bag you felt moving, you opened your eyes groggily to see your boyfriend quietly leaving the tent, you thought nothing of it, maybe he was going to pee or he was extra hungry or there was something dangerous nearby

Ignoring it you let yourself fall back into a deep slumber

But as the days and nights continued he kept sneaking out, you started getting suspicious so on the 4th night he snuck out you waited a little bit pretending you were sleeping and after a few minutes you slowly crept out of the tent

You looked around whispering your boyfriends name, this could be a huge misunderstanding after all

You went all around the forest and no sight of Ban

You went back to the tent and looked in, maybe you missed him?? But nope he wasn’t in there

You finally stopped in front of the tree and looked up, remembering the girl that resided there, logically speaking she was older then both of us since fairy’s live longer

“He didn’t” you whisper, you didn’t want to think, no you absolutely were wrong, must be seeing the wrong picture

Your boyfriend of years and hardships is not sneaking out at night to meet up with another girl, no it sounds absurd even thinking about it

‘I’ll just climb and check and I’ll be wrong, I’ll take the wind blow’ you think nodding your head reassuring yourself

You start climbing up the tree as quietly as possible, when you finally made it up and peaked up your mouth fell agape as you saw Ban and the girl chatting and laughing, all close

It surprised you so much that you lost grip on the tree and fell back, you rolled down the tree as if it was a hill, your limbs flying to and fro as you finally hit the bottom

You groaned quietly in pain

“What was that?” Ban says as he stops his conversation with Elaine hearing a soft thump

Elaine looks to the side

“ I didn’t hear anything?” She says and Ban shrugs as they continue to talk

You on the other hand shakily get up as you look at yourself, your arm was bleeding but you don’t know from where, your left ankle was sprained for sure, and your back was killing you it probably had a horrible bruise forming

A tear slipped out as you limped to the tent, you sat down as you grabbed bandages and started cleaning your wounds, the blood was coming from a gash just below your shoulder, probably from a sharp branch

You put a stick in your mouth as you took a deep breath, you grabbed some of Bans alcohol and poured it over the cut, you bit down harshly on the stick but no scream made it through, tears can’t say the same though

You spit out the stick as you breathed hard, every breath of air seeming like you haven’t had oxygen for a while, you take a bandage and wrap it around your arm securely

Usually you would make herbs for wounds and etc, but your hands were shaky, mind a daze and eyes blurry from tears

You wrapped up your sprained ankle and just let your back be in pain because there wasn’t much you could do about the pain back there

You sat silently in the tent waiting for your boyfriend to arrive, he did not arrive till the morning, about an hour and a half before you would usually wake up

When he opened the tent and saw you staring blankly at his empty sleeping bag he went to you and was about to touch your shoulder to ask you what was wrong but you jerked back

He was surprised as you looked at him, your eyes puffy, a huge sign you were crying

“Y/n what-“

“Where were you last night Ban?” You ask and he goes silent

“No in fact where were you the past 4 nights??” You ask and he sighs

“Y/n I just went out to explore and hunt, the foods not gonna come to us-“

You scoff, tears forming up, if he’s lying then is it true that he..

“You’re lying Ban, you’re lying to me” you grit out and he looks at you a little confused but mostly surprised

“What?”

“You were up there in that tree with that girl..” you say dangerously quiet and he sighs his head falling as he realizes he’s been caught and it looks totally wrong too

“Y/n..” he begins and you shake your head

“No no dont Y/n me, why did you lie and why were you sneaking out?!” You shout

“Y/n we were just talking I swear, I lied because I didn’t know how you would react-“

“HOW I WOULD REACT? HOW WOULD YOU REACT IF I WAS SNEAKING OFF LATE AT NIGHT AND MEETING UP WITH SOME GUY BAN?? HUH??!” You ask pushing him back but you wince as the wound near your shoulder moves

Ban notices this then notices the bandage on your arm and ankle

“Y/n what happened?” He asks quickly as he pulls your ankle into his palm to examine it, but you pull it back quickly

“You’re not even answering me, I-I can’t believe this, I can’t.” You say as you lay down in your sleeping bag, you were extremely tired from staying up the whole night already

You laid on the opposite side you usually lay on because of the wound on your other shoulder and thankfully it was the side not facing Ban

You guys didn’t speak for the whole day and when night came you woke up only to see Ban gone

“Y-You’re kidding” you whisper, you quickly get out, you run to the tree as you go up the route you began to remember with your mind at this point

You climbed up skillfully fast ignoring the roaring pain in both your ankle and shoulder, you peaked up and not to your surprise you see Ban and Elaine speaking under the oh so romantic fairy lights

With no sound you climbed back down, you walked to your tent and went in, grabbing your bag you grabbed your herbs, bandages, clothes and canned foods, leaving some for Ban even in your mood

You rolled up your sleeping bag and dig the dirt under as you grabbed your bag of coins, you and Ban always hid your money in case of any intruders, you guys were bandits after all

You take your money and put it in your bag as you get out the tent and leave

Ban returned back in the morning, he had asked Elaine what he should do to fix things and what a girl usually would like in this type of situation, you guys had never fought so bad to the point you didn’t speak the whole entire day

He was scared you were actually done with him, he had a few picked flowers in his hand and he took a deep breath as he opened the tent

But his eyes widen when he sees your stuff gone and your sleeping bag rolled up, he drops the flowers as he looks around frantically

“Y/N?? Y/N WHERE ARE YOU?!” He yelled, he ran everywhere around the forest looking for you, but you were no where in sight

By the time night fell he still couldn’t find you and it felt like his whole world was collapsing in front of him, he couldn’t think and he couldn’t even yell anymore bc he was sure he lost his voice by how loud and long he was screaming your name

He quickly wiped a tear that rolled down his cheek as he quickly climbed the tree, Elaine looked over at him worriedly

“You didn’t come at our usual time I was worried” she said and looks away blushing slightly

“She left Elaine! She left and I can’t find her anywhere” he says as he falls onto his knees and the tears finally come out

“She left me Elaine I-“ he says hoarsely

Elaine frowns sadly as she goes over and hugs him

“Well Ban...maybe she wasn’t the right one..there��s other people who can make you happy” she says

“Her injuries, she had bandages on her right arm and an injury on her ankle as well! She can get really hurt out there I have to find her” he cried

“Ban she left you, maybe it’s time to move on” Elaine says hintfully and lets go of Ban as she flies to the cup, she gives it to Ban and smiles at him

“Really?” He asks and she nods blushing a bit, he drank it slowly and when Elaine wasn’t looking he poured some inside of a glass bottle

“Ban I like-“ Elaine begins but Ban gets up

“I’m sorry Elaine I think this is the last time you’ll be seeing me, I checked every inch of the forest last night so that means Y/n has left the forest, I’m gonna be leaving as soon as I make it to the tent and get my stuff” he says to the girl who’s face falls in despair

“W-What wait but Ban she-“ she began

“She left? She had a good reason, if I was in her position I’d be upset too I can’t blame her” he says running a hand through his hair

“B-BUT SHE-SHE” Elaine tries to plead but stops when she sees Ban smile at her

“No matter what she did or does, she’s the only one my heart races for, in life or in death Y/n is my one true love so...wherever she goes I’ll chase her” he says and with that he jumps off the tree

Elaine falls to her knees as she watches the spot Ban once stood in, her head falling down as tears fell on to the tree

Ban had gotten to the tent and began packing all his stuff he got his money bag from under his sleeping , though he wonders where you hid yours and leaves

He travels for towns and towns looking for you, he had finally found you but much to his dismay you got captured since you were injured and were in a pretty tight situation as you were on death row

He watched as you and other prison mates were in a yard just doing your own things, you were laying on a bench staring at the sky

“Pssst”

You look up quickly and look around not seeing anyone, you were about to lay back down

“Pssst Y/n!”

You look around again noticing the familiar voice

“I must be going crazy” you mutter as you hold your forehead

“You’re not! Look over here!”

You slowly look to the side of the fence you were near and your eyes slowly landed on a bush, soon blue hair popped up from behind the bush and Ban gave you that grin of his

“Ban!” You say, a smile on your face, but you quickly replace it by a scowl and look away from him

He smiles slightly at that

“Y/n come on look at me” he whispers and you begrudgingly look over at him and he smiles, causing you to get flustered and your scowl to shake trying not to smile

“What are you doing here, you better hurry up and escape before they catch you too” you whisper not looking at him, instead watching the guards

He laughs

“As if I would leave you in a jail cell, come on let’s go” he says and you look at him stupidly

“Let’s go? No thanks death row isn’t that bad” you say coldly and he sighs

“Fine, guess we have to do this the hard way” he says shrugging

“HEY GUARDS” He shouts and your eyes widen as you sit up and block him with your body as the guards and inmates look at you

“UHH YEAH GUARDS, UHM YOUR ZIPPERS DOWN” you say and cringe deeply when the guards both look down and one coughs as he zips up his zipper, the inmates laughing

When everything died down you looked at Ban deadly

“Are you crazy?” You whisper

“Crazy for you”

Your mouth closes as you try to not blush but it’s inevitable as your brows unfurrow and a small smile takes over

“There’s that smile I love” he says and you roll your eyes as you huff slightly

“You better explain, I’m not giving you another chance so don’t you lie to me” you say and he nods quickly like a dog, you can basically see the tail behind him wagging

“Now step back babe, you’re boyfriends here to save you” he says smugly and you roll your eyes as you back up

He takes out his staff and in a swift motion breaks the fence, the guards all look over

“HEY” one shouts and you gasp as Ban quickly scoops you up and starts running

“It’s okay! I’ll take this bandit off your hands!” He shouts amused as he runs, he runs into a forest and does many turns eventually losing the guards who had to return back before any other inmates escaped

He puts you down lightly and you cross your arms to which he snorts

“I can run you know” you say and he shakes his head as he leans down and takes out a jar of green stuff

“They’re not as good as yours but they should do” he says and he gently takes your leg as he pulls up the inmate suit and sees your swollen ankle

“Tch stupid guards didn’t even treat it” he mutters as he takes some of the green cream and slowly and gently rubs it over your ankle

You can’t lie this felt really good but

“The first night I went up to try to plead for the youth drink” he says and you look at him

“The second night I went up to try and bribe for the youth drink”

“The third night I spoke to her, I tried to get to know her so she can see we have no bad intentions but one night wasn’t enough”

“The 4th night she had decent trust in me, so we continued talking”

He sighed as he started wrapping the bandage around your ankle softly, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Ban this gentle

“And the 5th night?” You ask and he looks to the side, you noticed a slight blush

“The 5th night I asked advice on what I should do to make you forgive me..” he mutters and your mouth falls agape slightly, it slowly forms into a small smile

“I’m sorry for not letting you explain..” you say and he shakes his head

“No, I can see how this looked from your perspective” he says as he rolls up your sleeves and switches the old bloodied bandages on your arm

You chuckle softly

“So I guess we can’t be together forever” you say sighing and as he rubs the herb cream on your bruised back he raises his eyebrow and pulls out a glass bottle with pink liquid

“Sorry but you’re not escaping me so easily” he says and you gasp as you grab the bottle and look at it

“This is really it??” You say looking back at him and he nods proudly

You slowly open it and drink it, but you didn’t feel that different

“Did it work?” You ask and he shrugs to which you deadpan

That day you both held hand as you jumped off a cliff, when you landed you guys sat up as you laughed and high fived, it worked

After a few months both you and Ban were caught purposely cause life began to get boring, you both sat in the same cell, after 33 executions you both are still alive in confinement

“I win” you say as you cross an all three X’s on the tic tac toe you made on the dirt in the ground

“You’re cheating” Ban replies and you laugh

Soon the door blows open and you two looked over to see a short man with blonde hair, you both smiled as Meliodas smiled back at you two

“Glad to see you two are still lovebirds”

[inukag]

Just curious but why do you prefer Inuyasha over sesshouamru and really inukag over sesskag? I know sesskag isn’t canon and inukag is the canon couple but is there any reason for your preference? Is it cuz you just prefer Inuyasha or you just like to ship what’s canon? Just curiousI get curious about inukag shippers passion for the ship, I love your blog btw 💖

Generally I'm more of a canon shipper, yeah. I don't really care about romance unless I see a love story that is really well done so I will rarely look at 2 characters who aren't interested in each other in canon and think "but what if their personality or the story was different?" and search for fanfics/fanart about that. I adore Inuyasha and Kagome's story in canon so I never felt the need to ship them with other characters.

Now when it comes to sesskag there's a few reasons why I don't ship it. First as you guessed I just love Inuyasha way too much, lol. I LOVE jerks with a heart of gold. I love characters who are extremely good-hearted and kind but still have real flaws and make mistakes.

Stoic characters like Sesshomaru just aren't my cup of tea, I find myself bored by characters like that and I think the fandom in general really overexaggerates how much he was "redeemed" in canon. I see a lot of "He was never that cruel! He only killed bandits and demons!" completely ignoring the fact that he used his poison claws on Kagome with the intent to kill her (unlike Inuyasha who missed on purpose while attacking Kagome, Sesshomaru did NOT miss and Kagome only survived because of Tessaiga). I see a lot of "He learned compassion!" ignoring the fact that he said "Who cares?" when Naraku told him that everyone in in Kaede's village would die if he attacked him, as late as chapter 551. There's nothing wrong with Sesshomaru being a morally grey character but that's... absolutely not compatible with Kagome "chronic hero syndrome" Higurashi. Kagome might be kind and friendly with everyone but that doesn't mean that she would date anyone. One of the main reasons why she falls in love with Inuyasha is because he has a good-heart and he can't bring himself to actually be cruel. I think it's pretty important for her to be with someone who has the same values as her, you know? To ship her with Inuyasha's racist, cruel brother who made Inuyasha's life hell and is one of the reasons why he has such an abrasive personally just... doesn't make any sense to me.

Because of that I always felt like Sesshomaru is very ooc in sesskag fanfics/comics (I've read a few in the past because I was curious). Which is fine, you do you. But I can't see Sesshomaru as the soft, kind, gentleman he is in fanfics, lol. Don't get me wrong a lot of inukag fanfics also make Inuyasha a lot sweeter and romantic than he is in canon but it's still more believable to me than Sesshomaru being like that. In canon the only time Sesshomaru and Kagome were alone together Kagome tried to have a conversation with him and he barely replied to her, so I think Kagome is too bubbly and talkative and would be bored with him, lmao.

Also I've seen some sesskag shippers argue that they ship it because they don't like the love triangle and how Kagome was hurt by Inuyasha's relationship with Kikyo and like, I get it. But most of these arguments come from anime watchers who tend to believe Inuyasha should have just ditched Kikyo and let her die and I will never agree with that. Yes Inuyasha could have handled the situation better but calling him a two-timer who treats Kagome like shit is a bad misunderstanding of his character and the situation (especially in the manga) and that's the hill I will die on 🤷‍♀️ Also If you think Kagome should be shipped with someone who doesn't have an ex and is actually compatible with her: Sango is right there? The fact that people who use this argument don't ship Kagome with Sango or Hojo makes me believe that they basically use Kagome as a self-insert to ship themselves with whatever male character they find hot (not saying all sesskag content is like that ofc but a lot of it must be)

I hope this answers your question! And thank you for the compliment 😊 No hate towards Sesskag shippers btw their fandom is pretty big and I've never had beef with anyone in that fandom so I think that says a lot!

[365days365movies]

March 2, 2021: The Last Unicorn (1982) (Part 1)

I, uh...I wanna talk about zoology.

It’s my profession of choice, although if I’m going to be specific, it’s ecology and ornithology, based on my Masters. But while my expertise is in birds, that doesn’t mean I have any particular preference. So, let’s talk mammals. Specifically, I’d like to talk about horses.

Horses are odd-toed ungulates (Order Perissodactyla) belonging to the family Equidae, with only one living genus (Equus), which includes donkeys, zebras, and a FUCK-ton of fossil progenitors. Not gonna go into horse evolution here, since it’s a vast topic on its own, but the group dates to about 54 million years ago, during the Eocene period.

There are specific features that define modern horses as horses, including a single hoofed toe for walking on, a body built for running with high stamina, and a large cecum in the intestines for breaking down fibrous and herbaceous material. It’s a group native to North America, Africa, and Asia, with the modern descended horse descended from a somewhat unknown ancestor in Central Asia.

They’re grazers rather than browsers, which many similar sized herbivores are. And, of course, they have a close relationship to humans throughout prehistory. Their main systems of defense against predators are the afore-mentioned running capabilities, a VICIOUS kick (especially horses like zebras), and a high-range of monocular vision due to the position of their HUGE eyes.

In terms of sexual selection, it’s essentially based on physical competition between the males in a population, which are usually formed into reproductive harems. That’s one male with multiple females that live within an established range. The females have their own dominance schemes, while groups of males exist in bachelor herds before establishing a harem of their own.

And those two paragraphs help explain why horses don’t grow horns.

Animals like this bighorn sheep, as well as antelopes with impala and gerenuk, perform intrasexual selection using their horns, the size of which determine the fitness of an individual male, with the fights settling any potential ties for watching females. And that’s the main reason why herbivorous mammals grow horns, and horses have come up with different social structures to compensate. But OK, couldn’t they just horns anyway? 

Remember the stomach I mentioned earlier? Here’s the thing; hindgut digestion, which is what horses do...not the most nutritionally efficient form of digestion. In order to maintain their running lifestyles, they invest all obtained energy and nutrients into building muscle and other important functions. Fact of the matter is, they just can’t devote enough energy and nutrients to the physiologically expensive act of owning a horn. They do have a close relative that does that, though. However, they’ve sacrificed their speed, intelligence, and even their eyesight for their horns, as well as beefing up their physical defense with thicker skin.

YUP! So why talk about this? I mean...you know why.

OK, so that had basically nothing to do with this movie, but a post like this has been building since I mentioned the gerenuk a little bit ago. Sorry, had to get it out. Anyway, yeah, unicorns are impossible, but they’re still a hallowed mythical creature. National animal of Scotland, one of the most prominent symbols of medieval mythology, a magic-using ethnic class in a mythical kingdom composed of a horse-based majority that also includes normal horses and pegasi...

You know, unicorns. So, I’m definitely interested in what would happen to make a unicorn, well...the last one. My bets are on something man-made, like deforestation or another for of habitat depletion. Could be poaching for the horn. After all, that’s what’s been driving rhinoceros species to near-extinction (or actual extinction in the case of the western black and northern white rhinos. RIP Sudan, you goddamn king).

But let’s find out rather than speculate! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

During medieval times, in a mystical wood called the Unicorn’s Forest, a hunter shows unease to his companion. In the forest, there are no seasons, and the beasts are protected from hunters, as long as there is one unicorn left if the forest. That last unicorn is...the Unicorn (Mia Farrow), who learns from the hunters that she must be the last of her kind.

The opening credits, which are a gorgeous animated medieval tapesty, are backed by the song “The Last Unicorn”, by America (damn, nice pull). Gives the whole thing a Renn Faire feel. Never been to a Renn Faire, but I’d love to go to one, honestly.

Anyway, the Unicorn is in doubt that there are no more of her kind in the world, as they live forever, and she would know if there are none left...right? However, they can also be killed and trapped, so...I mean, they might be dead, Unicorn. As she’s thinking on this, the most Rankin-Bass butterfly ever shows up singing a ballad of love. This is...the Butterfly (Robert Klein), a bard-erfly (see whay I did there) who won’t stop singing, despite the Unicorn’s pleas to tell her of other unicorns.

Butterflies, apparently, repeat to anything they hear around them Which involves like, a lot of non-medieval songs. There’s one about the A-train, apparently, which makes...just NO fucking sense. As the Unicorn also shows frustration at this anachronistic little bugger, he breaks his songs to tell her than the Unicorns have all been chased off by “the Red Bull.”

...I’m going to hold it off as long as I can, but the joke WILL come. It WILL come.

She wonders if she can truly leave the forest, then actually does so in order to find the other unicorns. She happens upon a farmer, who attempts to tame her, as he only sees her as a horse. Apparently, men can no longer see unicorns as they are, and usually only see them as white horses. So, there may be unicorns in the world after all!

Not sure why she doesn’t go back to her forest after realizing this, but...OK. She continues on, backed once again by a song performed by America, called “Man’s Road”. Real talk, I’m digging the music in here, which is my inner folk rock fan talking.

While she finds nothing on her journey, she’s instead found by Mother Fortuna (Angela Langsbury), a witch who runs a carnival that needs a new exhibition. With her comes Ruhk (Brother Theodore) and magician Schmendrick (Alan Arkin), the latter of whom actually can see the Unicorn as a Unicorn.

At the carnival, Schmendrick introduces hiself to the Unicorn, wanting to get her out of there. Meanwhile, an audience is fooled by Mother Fortuna’s illusory magic to see a manticore, satyr, and the Midgard Serpent, when in reality they are an elderly lion, ape with a twisted foot, and really sad snake. However, the Harpy that she has IS real, and a major threat to Fortuna were she to escape.

That night, Fortuna speaks to the Unicorn of the Red Bull, owned by a King Haggard. The Unicorn asks Fortuna to free both her and the Harpy, two signs of the same magical coin. Also...is this a kids’ movie? Kinda thought it was until I noticed that the Harpy has, well...pendulous breasts. Literally the best way I can describe them. Also, three of them, so...there’s that.

After she leaves, Schmendrick arrives to free the Unicorn with his magic...and he’s shit at it. Like, REALLY shit. But thankfully, he’s a decent pickpocket, and stole the cage keys from Ruhk. He lets the Unicorn free, and she in turn releases the other animal prisoners, Harpy included. Which is NOT great for Fortuna, who’s IMMEDIATELY killed.

The two leave together, and head on the Unicorn’s journey to find her own kind. She cannot grant Schmendrick his wish to become a true magician, but he still gives her information about this world, and King Haggard, who seems like bad news.

On the road, the two encounter a gang of thieves of the road, who work for Captain Cully (Keenan Wynn), a short and portly leader of bandits. His mistress is a woman named Molly Grue (Tammy Grimes), who’s endlessly frustrated by Cully’s regular failures. They befriend Schmendrick, who impresses them with illusions of Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Although, it’s not his illusions, but those of the Unicorn, trying to help.

Doesn’t help that much, though, as the Robin Hood-hating Captain Cully ties him up to a tree after all of his men and Molly leave. A frustrated Schmendrick mutters a spell by mistake, and brings the tree to life.

And then my girlfriend fuckin’ broke. Here she is, below:

Ravishing. Yeah, she’s watching this too, and when the tree came up, her words were, and I quote:

...a smooth-talking horse, a three-tittied harpy, and a BOOBED TREE!

Boobed tree is an expression I will find a way to use in my life. Also, this is ABSOLUTELY not a kid’s movie, and that is one busty-ass tree. This tree, called...The Tree (Nellie Bellflower) is in love with Schmendrick, and is enraged by the appearance of the Unicorn. However, the Unicorn undoes Schmendrick’s magic, and puts the t-horny tree back to sleep.

The two encounter Molly Grue, who’s astonished to see a Unicorn. She cries, as she was been waiting to see one since she was a young maiden, but now she isn’t one anymore. Interesting implications there, but moving on. Molly wishes to join them, and while Schmendrick isn’t super down for that, she wins the Unicorn’s trust when she points out that they’ve been going in the wrong direction. Whoops.

OK, with that, let’s break for Part 2! See you there!

[heart-of-gold-outlaw]

Etta Armstrong

Full Name: Etta Marie Armstrong

Occupation: Bounty Hunter

Romantic Partner(s): Owen O'Malley (on and off); Billy Umber (deceased)

Personality: Etta started out as a sweetheart with a bit of a wild side. But then life twisted her into a hardened bounty hunter. She's sarcastic and rough, but has a good heart. Her morals can get a little skewed, but she always does what she thinks is right... even if it isn't in the eyes of the law. 

Skills: Excellent shot with a rifle; expert rider

Weaknesses: Not great with pistols or revolvers; not a good swimmer; a little awkward when it comes to being around "normal" people and "high" society.

Likes: Shooting, hunting, and whittling.

Dislikes: Sitting around, parties, and large crowds.

Backstory: Etta was born "Ethel Marie Byrne." She lived with her mother and father, Josephine and Eric Byrne, and had a little sister, Rose. After Josephine died, Etta's father remarried a woman none of the children liked. Rose got sick one day with a cold, something that should have been minor. The stepmother, Lina, neglected her so badly, the cold developed into strep throat, and then into Scarlet Fever. Rose died at twelve years old. Etta, who was seventeen at the time, was so enraged, she beat the living hell out of her stepmother, nearly killing her. When Eric stepped in to try and break up the fight, Etta broke his nose. 

To avoid getting charges pressed against her, Etta worked out a deal with her family: leave and never come back, or face the consequences of the court. Etta knew she would have trouble against a jury, so she chose to leave. All of this happened in Boston around 1886.

Etta then worked in a wealthy landowner's house as a maid. The couple, Mr. and Mrs. Umber, were kind to her, treated her like a member of the family. It's here that she met Billy Umber, their son. Etta and Billy fell in love. Their relationship was just shy of perfection, complete with romantic countryside dates, shy kisses, etc. Billy, who loved working with horses and was excellent with a rifle, taught Etta how to ride and shoot. When Billy's father encouraged them to move out west to expand their investments, Billy and Etta jumped at the opportunity. 

Billy and Etta moved out to West Elizabeth, where they settled on a small ranch near Blackwater. They also owned property in the city, but rarely spent time there. They were married in 1890, and were talking about starting a family when their home was attacked by an offshoot of the O'Driscoll's. Etta and Billy managed to take out all but three of them. Unfortunately, those three killed Billy, whose last act was to give Etta the rifle and their only horse, Athena. He told her to run, that he would be right behind her, but he was shot before he could make it. 

Heartbroken, Etta wandered for a bit. She didn't know what to do next, didn't have any direction or even a will to live. She then met Lizzie Scott, a bounty hunter, who helped Etta pick herself up and start working toward a new goal: find and kill every last O'Driscoll she can. While Etta already knew how to handle a rifle, Lizzie showed her how to throw a lasso and hogtie people. Etta trained under her for a few bounties, then decided to go off on her own. Both women parted ways on good terms.

On her first bounty, Etta came across a group of bandits in New Austin. She caught up to them as they were about to get a stagecoach. She picked off the two guards, then went to help the "hostage" inside the stage. Turns out, the hostage, Eoghan "Owen" O'Malley was a silver-tongued bandit who took the coach first. He didn't kill a single soul to get it. He looked quite a bit like Billy, enough that it gave Etta pause. In the end, she didn't turn him in. She let him go on his way and took the dead bandits in as the bounty.  

Since then, Owen and Etta constantly run into each other. They have a bit of an agreement to disagree: she doesn't turn him in and he doesn't give her trouble on bounties. They also have a thing for each other, but they're always dancing around it. Etta doesn't want to get hurt again, and Owen, well, Owen's a womanizer. Still, for Etta, he would drop everything... only if she asked. But she still hasn't, so the dance continues.

In RDO...

Etta does her best to bring in bounties. She still wants to slaughter the O'Driscoll's, but the opportunity hasn't arisen yet. Sometimes, she gets a little carried away while on the job--not that it's undeserved. Still, it's not the best for her reputation. 

Occasionally, she and Owen will hunt together. They try to meet up at least once a month, but sometimes their schedules don't allow for it. That's fine. They know the score. 

They'll also send each other letters. Nothing fancy. 

/// /// ///

And here’s my most recent Red Dead OC! I absolutely adore her and might write some fics. Also working on a profile for Eoghan “Owen” O’Malley. 

[jehaatiade]

:,) a humble ask for hc’s for Din, Ezra, and Javier admitting they love you in an angsty situation :,)

This took me hours but it came together so well! Thank you for the wonderful prompt!

Din:

he has mixed feelings about taking you along on bounties. you’re the rare combination of a talented bounty hunter and a person who’s never tried to cheat him.

but on the other hand… the possibility of coming back from a hunt without you makes something deep in his chest ache.

you make him laugh. you like him, but you’ve never pushed him to take off his helmet. you make the Razor Crest and the flight time between planets seem more alive.

he’s kissed you. more than once. but only as a Mandalorian, the cold beskar of his helmet against your forehead. he doesn’t know if you understand what that means.

the two of you are on a nameless dump of a moon where the grey salt flats are studded with wreckage from a space battle, tracking a pirate with a hefty bounty on his head, when it happens.

you get a single glimpse of the pirate before there’s a hail of blaster bolts headed in your direction. you both take cover, and the Mando uses terse field signs to lay out his plan: you go right and flush him out. i’ll go left and take him down.

the plan does not come together nicely. in fact, the plan does not come together at all.

the mark is harder to scare than you expected, and by the time you’re in range to force him out from behind his cover, you’re close enough that he can grab you.

it’s a little embarrassing, honestly. you haven’t been in a choke-hold with a blaster to your head since you were sixteen and stupid.

“Let her go,” the Mando says. despite the anger in his tone, his voice is even and his aim doesn’t waver. you’ve admired that rifle since the first time you saw it: the faint iridescence of its prongs, the elegant curve of its stock, the meticulous modifications to its forestock. you’ve never had it pointed at you before.

“Of course, my friend,” the pirate says. “Because I have survived this long by being incredibly foolish. No, she is coming with me. If you ask nicely, I may even leave her in one piece once I reach my ship. If you try to interfere…”

he makes a nonchalant who knows? gesture, and for a second the barrel of his blaster isn’t pressed against your head.

you haven’t been sixteen and stupid for a long time. the heel of your boot comes down on his instep with as much force as you can muster, and when his hold weakens, you drive your elbow back into his nose.

the pirate crumples into a groaning heap at your feet. the Mando lowers his rifle. you make a show of dusting off your hands, because no one has ever accused you of lacking a sense of drama.

it looks like the Mando wants to say something - you can see it in his posture - but he doesn’t, so you fill the silence. “Don’t tell me you were worried, Mando,” you tease. “Like you’d miss me bouncing around the Crest’s cargo hold making a mess every time we go somewhere. You just love having me around.” 

you’re not expecting him to reply, so you take the binders off your belt and bend to cuff the pirate. when you straighten, the Mando is right next to you.

“Yes,” he says. “I was worried. Yes, I would miss you. Yes. I love you.”

for once, you’re speechless, so you just watch your smile grow in the reflection of his visor. then you lean just a little bit forward, closing the gap and pressing your forehead to his.

(and then the pirate at your feet snickers, and you kick him in the ribs.)

Ezra:

taking this job has been one of your worst decisions to date. and of course, you did it because Ezra talked you into it.

“An absolutely unprecedented adventure, little bird!” he’d said. “A moon still molten from the fires of creation, spitting up gems like a baby with a colic? The harvest will be unparalleled; with the right gear, we will stroll through the lava fields collecting Niobe’s roses as easily as if we were berry-picking.”

it is, of course, not that easy.

calling the Red Moon molten is not an affectation; its broken crust oozes lava like a slow-clotting cut. you’re here for rhodoniobium, beautiful silver blooms that appear on the surface of the lava flows. it isn’t difficult to use the nets and poles to retrieve Niobe’s roses. what’s hard is staying alive while you do it. miners die in ugly ways every single day, and they’re rarely mourned.

liquid water is a thing of fantasy down here, for the most part, and everyone is forced to return to the base camp at Kīpuka when they run out. that’s where the two or you are headed when you get separated.

you’ve been examining plutonic rock formations since you arrived, looking for evidence of pegmatite mineral inclusions: rubies, sapphires, emeralds and other beryl gems. sure, they don’t sell for as much as Niobe’s roses, but you’ve never been able to resist sparklies. 

Ezra usually indulges you, but in this case, he’s been looking forward to a bath for two weeks. so when you stop to chip a sample from a smooth dome of granite, he keeps walking. you don’t think anything of it, figuring you’ll catch up to him, until a sharp “Shit!” comes through over the comm.

“Are you all right?” you ask, quickly starting to pack up your tools.

“Hardly the finest way to introduce oneself, taking pot-shots at innocent passersby,” Ezra says, his voice fuzzy with distance. “If you have had your entertainment, I would be much gratified to be permitted to pass.”

you abandon your tools and set out after him at a run as a much younger man says “This is our gorge, and if you want to pass through to Kīpuka, then you’re going to have to pay our toll.”

“I am always enthusiastic to participate in the civil preservation of infrastructure, have no doubt,” Ezra assures the men who you suspect are holding him under rails. “My partner is a ways behind, and she is carrying our meager pickings. You’ll allow me to contact her and request her presence?”

a grunt of agreement, and a short pause, before Ezra’s voice comes through more clearly on your private channel. “May I assume you’ve been listening, little bird?”

“Yeah,” you pant. your lungs are starting to burn, and you’d be tempted to throw off your heavy insulating gear if you didn’t know that the average air temperature around here is high enough to bake bread. “How many?”

“Four. Alas, more than I feel confident dispatching alone.”

“Almost there. I’ll come in over the ridge. Be ready to draw.”

“I always am.” there’s a pause, and at first you think he’s finished. then your comm crackles again. “If this goes wrong, little bird-”

“Don’t,” you say, because it feels like bad luck.

“I love you. Most ardently. If I die here, then I die happy to have known you.”

the only thing you can say is “Damn it, Ezra.” because you can’t wipe the tears from your eyes, and that’s going to make shooting these bastards just that little bit more difficult. he laughs softly, and clicks back to the public channel.

Ezra chats away with the bandits, distracting them with that awful anecdote about the channelrats while you close the last small distance to the ridge above the gorge. you crawl to the edge, thrower rifle cradled in your arms, and take a sniper’s position.

“I’m almost there,” you say over the public channel. “Is everything all right?”

“Of course, little bird.” You can’t see Ezra’s smile, but you can hear it in his voice. He’s ready.

it goes very quickly, as most gunfights do: you push a stone over the edge to start a small rockslide, the bandits turn toward the noise, and you shoot the two men lounging in the shade while Ezra shoots the two standing in front of him.

“Ezra? You know what?” you ask once the bodies have hit the ground.

“What?”

“In spite of the fact that you have damned awful timing, I love you, too.”

Javi:

as Javier yells at you, you wonder idly if Murphy can hear you upstairs. “You could’ve been killed!”

“Just because you couldn’t have made it out of there, doesn’t mean I couldn’t!”

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he hisses, stepping closer.

you shove him back. “It mean you strut around Colombia flashing your badge and shooting sicarios like that’s what you get paid for! You’ve got Kiki Camarena keeping you safe. You know what I’ve got? A fucking press pass! If my cover’s blown, I get auctioned to the highest bidder and tortured to death!”

“Which is exactly why you should know better than to go sniffing around Escobar’s planes!”

“I don’t tell you how to do your goddamned job, Javi! Don’t you try and tell me how to do mine!”

Javi snarls and digs the packet of cigarettes out of his breast pocket, tossing it carelessly on the couch once he extracts one.

“You’re upset because I could’ve died?” you ask derisively as he lights his cigarette. “Let me tell you something. You, breaking in guns drawn because you think you’re rescuing me, are a lot more likely to get me killed than any mistake I could make.”

“Shut up,” he growls. he won’t look at you as you move closer.

“What is your problem? If this is still about those papers on the guerrillas-”

he shakes his head and turns away. you fucking hate it when he does this, pulling away from an argument rather than just fighting it through to the end.

“Then what?” you demand. if he’s going to disengage, then maybe you need to hit the right buttons to make him change his mind. “Don’t tell me you’re pissed off because you’ve finally realized I really am a better operator than you-”

“Because I love you!”

Javi’s outburst startles you, and you take a step back without thinking about it. he sighs, the tense lines of his shoulders going lax, and turns to face you again.

“Because I love you,” he says more softly. “Because I don’t know what to do without you any more, and that scares me more than any narco son of a bitch. Because I can’t even imagine what I would do if you were killed. Just the thought makes me feel sick.”

“Javi…” you whisper.

he shakes his head to stop you. “You want to know why, every time you come here, I ask you how your articles are doing? It’s because I have this-” he huffs out a helpless laugh. “- idiotic, ridiculous fantasy that one day, you’ll do so well that you’ll leave the agency and actually be a journalist for a living. And you’ll come and live with me, and I won’t have to wonder if you’re dead every time you go longer than a week between calling me.”

“Javi,” you say again. when you take the cigarette from his loose grasp to put it down in the ashtray, he raises his hand to rub his knuckles against his eyes. “You’re right. Part of your fantasy is ridiculous.”

“Only part, huh?” he doesn’t quite manage to make his sarcastic smile look sincere.

“Yeah. The part where you don’t seem to realize that all you have to do is ask.” you cup the strong angle of his jaw and lean in, almost nose to nose. “All you have to do is ask.”

“Why would you want to stay with me?” he asks. “I’m an asshole. I work too much. I’d just make you sick of me.”

“Because I love you,” you say, and kiss him.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: Romantic Romile (Roman x Emile), Romantic Prandy (Andy x Pryce), Romantic Intrulogical (Remus x Logan), Romantic Sleepceit (Remy x Deceit), Romantic Anxtober (October x Virgil)

Word Count: 1,092 Words

Summary: Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, general chaos, and Remy and Deceit are cute.

Warnings: Sex Mentions, Cursing, Cancer Mention, Sick Character, Immunocompromised Character, Nightmares Mention, Murder Mention, Death Mention, Vomit Mention, Cult Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Note: Bolded and blockquoted are actions in their chatroom, not a message.

Usernames, a quick translation guide: Andy: Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero), Castor: schrodingersdumbass, Dayd: carniverousroomba, Dice: Dr. Bitch, Emile: Thera-pissed, Halley: aspermylastemail, Janus: SnekBoi, Logan: Momgan, October: eatpavementido, Orion: birdgeoisie, Patton: Papa Bear, Pollux: satantakemehome, Pryce: SwEeTvErUcA, Remus: Octopussy, Remy: Coffee Bandit, Roman: waaahluigi, Sirius: literalsunshine, Teal: uwu, Thomas: shrexy, Virgil: spipples, Vita: þiccness

A Very Sanders Group Chat: Chapter 9

3:14AM

satantakemehome: Hey, does anyone have any clue why there's nightmares galore? I was trying to sleep.

spipples: Kid, it's like 4am, go to sleep.

satantakemehome: Mother. Mother, I am Insomnia, mother. It doesn't work that way, mother.

spipples: Okay, okay, don't go all eldritch being on me, chill.

satantakemehome: Fix the Mind, mother. I crave the sleep, mother.

spipples: If you plan to be an eldritch being, go bother your uncle or visit auntie Dee in the hospital, I'm sure he'd love company in his misery up there.

SnekBoi: No. Tired.

satantakemehome: Uncle it is.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Hello Jeffrey, I am afraid.

spipples: Don't care. Got shit to deal with.

5:38AM

birdgeoisie: Hey mom, did you ever figure out what the overly murdery nightmares were about?

spipples: Yeah, it was Uncle Remus.

þiccness: FINALLY, I can say uncle bastard's name in the chatroom!

Octopussy: I fucking hate all of you.

Momgan: You popped up like a fucking goblin and whacked poor Roman in the head at four in the goddamned morning, how the fuck do you think we're going to react!?

schrodingersdumbass: Oh shit, Auntie Lo is going off on Uncle Remus.

uwu: I would give all my uwus to see this but I have to start getting ready for work sooooo

uwu is now offline

Coffee Bandit: Shiiiit, someone give him coffee stat!

literalsunshine: What do you think I'm trying do?

Coffee Bandit: Ah yes, the good child. All the rest are little punks and then we have this smol gem.

þiccness: I remember why I used to call you Uncle Asshat now.

Coffee Bandit: Thanks, kid.

þiccness: Not a compliment but alright.

Coffee Bandit: Everything is a compliment to me, kid.

þiccness: Alright edgelord.

11:17AM

spipples: It's a beautiful day out.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Almost as beautiful as your face.

spipples: You only say that because we have the same face.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Exactly, you're catching on.

spipples: I hate you.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Don't lie, little bro, it doesn't look good on you.

SnekBoi: Yeah, that's my job.

spipples: Fuck off, you've done enough damage to Thomas.' mind releasing Remus on us.

SnekBoi: I had nothing to do with that. I was at home resting off chemo still. I have a solid alibi. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish puking and see how bad my hair is because I know I saw some on my pillow.

Octopussy: goddammit not again!

SnekBoi: Well, sorry, I can't really control it, Ree. The chemo does what it wants.

shrexy: Are you okay?

SnekBoi: Probably. I mean, I'm just worried.

Coffee Bandit: Snakebabe, do you want me over?

SnekBoi: I'd love to see you, but I can't.

Coffee Bandit: What about outside in the garden six feet apart with masks on while we do light work taking care of your plants?

SnekBoi: Is this a date? It sounds like a date.

Coffee Bandit: Can be if you want it to be.

SnekBoi: So maybe 6:30 when it cools down so I'm not overheating myself?

Coffee Bandit: Sounds great, sugarbear.

SnekBoi: Yeah sounds great, Rem.

Coffee Bandit: See you there, lovely snek.

SnekBoi is now offline

waaahluigi: Remy's really out here saying 'I love you' while Dee's puking. Taking in sickness and in health a bit too seriously, huh, Rem?

Coffee Bandit: Oh absolutely, I mean, he's cute.

Octopussy: I hear screeching from Dee's room.

Octopussy: ah, nevermind, I read the backlog.

uwu: Remy's here to date cute snake men and nothing else will do.

12:17 PM

þiccness: Hey mom, can me and Halley spend the night out with Bella and Eve?

waaahluigi: Sure. Just make sure you four are careful and be home before 4am and make sure to call me if you need any help.

þiccness: Thanks, mom!

Thera-pissed: Oh, Ro, are you still coming over at 7 for dinner?

waaahluigi: Yeah, I'm just working off the headache still.

Octopussy: I regret nothing.

Thera-pissed: Alright, love, take your time. Remember, we can always just stay home and watch a movie while the kids are out.

waaahluigi: That actually sounds better than going out and hiking.

Thera-pissed: Then we'll stay in inside and watch a movie or two and have dinner there.

3:14 PM

SnekBoi: Hey, @Octopussy, can you help me up, I need to start getting ready for me and Remy's date?

Octopussy is now online

Octopussy is now offline

satantakemehome: Uncle Remus really said 'gotta go fast'

eatpavementido: remusthehedgehog.jpg

aspermylastemail: Remus is the only one of us ready to storm Area 51.

birdgeoisie: Remus about to clap some alien cheeks.

waaahluigi: You four remind me of a cult. The Cult of Remus.

aspermylastemail: We're just missing that hint of chaotic dumbass that is Castor.

eatpavementido: Don't tempt me, Roman.

waaahluigi: Or what?

eatpavementido: O̴̬̓r̴̨̠̹̾͋ ̴̦̃̆w̴̟̮̽͜ḛ̶͝ ̵̙̲͒́s̶͚͊a̵̦͚̓ͅc̴͙̤̆r̶̫̞i̴̱͉f̸̩͕̓͘i̸̛͇̟͌ͅc̷̨̢͗̈̿e̸̠̜̫̊ ̵̳̋̒y̷̞͓̩͒̓o̶͍̪̦̍ǘ̴̖̮̱̎͊ ̵̨̰͙̓̒͌ţ̸͉̜̂͂o̸̟̽̈n̸̪̤͂͌i̵͓͋̎͑g̶͎͒ḣ̵̤̤͂t̴̟̬͑̏.̸̪͆́

waaahluigi: Good Hera, fine! Just don't kill me! I have two kids to deal with and Remus and Pryce aren't trusted to raise them to not be heathens!

SwEeTvErUcA: Hey! But fair.

Octopussy: fair enough.

6:45 PM

Octopussy: in case anyone wanted a good wholesome update.

Octopussy: deceitandremyinthegarden.jpg

Octopussy: deceitandremysmilingateachother.jpg

Octopussy: deceitandremylaughing.jpg

shrexy: That is incredibly pure and wholesome, thank you for this PSA.

Octopussy: I know. It's good to see Dee be so happy around someone.

Coffee Bandit: I saw that, Remus.

Octopussy: parkourmeme.jpg

Octopussy is now offline

Coffee Bandit: Little shit.

Papa Bear: Go back to your date, kiddos! You're so cute together!

Coffee Bandit: Ah yes, everyone's supportive dad. You got it, Patt.

Coffee Bandit is now offline

spipples: Ah yes, the wholesome dad energy. It's hard to resist.

birdgeoisie: Ah yes, momther, I am hang out with Wyatt and Solace tonight. I'll be home like 9ish?

spipples: Have fun, Orion. Don't get them in trouble is all I ask, little crow.

birdgeoisie: I won't steal anymore street signs, Mom.

spipples: Or anything else that I would have to bail you out for.

birdgeoisie: Why  not just take the fun out of life?

spipples: Ah yes, such a horrible mother not wanting to bail out my son. Have fun, little crow. If you three need anything text me or call me.

birdgeoisie: I will, Mom!

birdgeoisie is now offline

spipples: Two of five kids are out having fun, one is working and two are out doing their own shopping.

eatpavementido: Does this mean you want me over?

spipples: Yesssss. Fucking come cuddle me.

eatpavementido: gottagofast.jpg

spipples: Love my boyfriend.

eatpavementido: Love you too, chaotic little shit.

Taglist: @glaxyjellyfish @chronophobica @fear-ze-queer @imma-potatoo

[novannna]

Same Sea, Same Soul, Same Heart

Chapter 4

Danna is the daughter of a noble in Gatlon city.  Gatlon is ruled by King Hugh and King Simon, members of the Renegades, the gruop that saved it from the anarchists and Ace Anarchy.  Nova is the niece of Ace Anarchy and is the worlds most feared and dangerous pirate.  She kidnaps Danna as ransom, and while they travel back to Danna’s father the two girls begin to realize they weren’t so different after all…

link to masterlist

link to  chapter 3

ITS THE MASQUERADE CHAPTER YALL

word count: 3950

tw: blood violence death

Danna woke up to a bucket of water splattered across her face.  The captain stood over her, irritation clear on her face.  

“What the hell?” Danna spluttered, rising to her feet.  

“Get dressed,” was all Nova said.  Nova.  When did Danna start thinking of her as Nova?  She shrugged the thought away.

“Why?”  Danna demanded. 

Nova didn’t answer.  She just walked off, letting the door swing shut behind her.  

Danna noticed a large cloth bundle on the barrel to her left.  She carefully unfolded it, revealing a gown that was prettier than anything Danna had ever worn.  It’s delicate black silk was embroidered with red flowers near the hem and edge of the sleeves.  Mesh covered the collarbone and shoulders.  Danna quickly stepped out of her own filthy clothes, and slipped the soft fabric over her head.  It slid over her skin like liquid.  It was beautiful.  Danna ran her hands down the silk one last time, then stepped out the door.  

Genevieve let out a high whistle.  “Damn, Bell.  You look  good.”

Danna blushed.  “Thanks,” she mumbled.  

“Good.  You're done.”  Nova stalked down the hall.  “Let’s go.”  

Danna’s breath caught in her throat.  Nova wore a floor length gown of a blue so deep you could mistake it for black.  Delicate sapphire gems were sewn down the chest, streaks of color against the inky fabric. Her chest and arms were clothed in mesh, and Danna could see the soft skin of her neck.  Jewels were sewn up her arm.  Nova was absolutely breathtaking.  Danna felt her cheeks heat, and she looked down.  

“Why are we dressed like this?”  Danna asked, trying not to think about the way Nova’s dress hugged her figure tightly.  The way that the mesh exposed just enough of her skin.  The way that-.  Danna cursed herself.  She was letting herself get distracted.  

“I’ll tell you on the way. Let’s go,” Nova said impatiently.  She stalked away.  

Viv laughed lightly.  “Nova’s in a bad mood this morning,” she explained.  

Danna’s jaw dropped.  “You can call her Nova?”  she asked in a hushed whisper.  “She allows that?”

“Of course!  It’s her name isn’t it?”  Viv laughed awkwardly.  

“Oh.  She didn’t want me to call her that when she told me.”  Danna scratched her neck.  “She threatened to kill me if I called her that actually.” 

“Hmm.  She has her reasons,” Viv replied.  

“Where are we going?”  

“Oh, I don’t actually know.”  

Danna turned in astonishment.  “You don’t know?  Doesn’t that bother you?  Wouldn’t you like to know where you're going?”

Viv looked down.  “I’m not going.  Just you and Nova.”

Danna laughed dryly.  “Funny.”  She stopped walking.  “Wait, you're serious?”  

Viv nodded.  

“Me and the captain are going to do something all alone?  Me and her?”  Danna stared, at Nova, stunned.  “What?”

“See?  Doesn’t bother me!”  Viv grinned.  “Come on, you need to hurry.  My guess is that you don’t want to keep her waiting.”

Danna nodded, and hurried up.  

---

Nova stood by the lifeboat, arms crossed across her chest.  Danna and Genevieve were talking in the background, taking their  sweet time to get to her.  

“Relax Nova.  It’ll be fine,” Moxie said.  

“Hmm?”  Nova asked, lost in thought.  

Moxie sighed.  “I can tell you're nervous about bringing Danna.”

“Why would I be nervous?”  Nova asked, laughing.  “I don’t care about her.”

Moxie raised an eyebrow.  “We’ve all seen how you act around her.  I don’t think you kidnapped her just for ransom.”

Nova snorted.  “Keep telling yourself that.”

“Then why are you bringing her, and not me or Viv?”  Moxie countered.  “We’d be better choices.  Danna can fight, but she’s wild.  She might try to run.”

“It’s a calculated risk.  I’d rather have her as insurance in case the worst happens.  She’ll be my ticket out.  They won't risk hurting her.”

“We both know that the worst won’t happen.  Not if you’ve planned it.”

Nova sighed.  “Look, Danna is a member of the court.  She is the literal embodiment of every single thing I hate.  She means absolutely nothing to me.  Understand?”

Moxie nodded.  “Sure, Cap.  Got it.”

“Good.”  Nova straightened her spine. “Hurry up!”  She called to Viv and Danna.  “We don’t have all day!”

The sound of jogging feet reached Nova’s ears, and Danna and Viv emerged from the hallway.  

“About time,” Nova growled.  “Get in.”

“We’re going off the ship?”  Danna asked.  Her face paled slightly.  

“Obviously.”

“You trust me not to run?”  Danna asked.  

“I trust you to do what’s best for you.  And that’s sticking with me.”  Nova groaned.  “Now, get in.”  

Danna picked up her skirts, and stepped into the boat warily.  It swayed dangerously as her weight settled. 

Nova nodded once at the couple, then entered after Danna, her skirt brushing against the wood.  

As soon as she was in, Viv and Moxie began to lower it, until it settled into the water with a small splash.  

Nova picked up the oars and began to row.  

“Where are we going?”  Danna asked after five minutes of silence.  

“The coast.”

“Why?”

“I have an informant waiting for us.  They have things for me.”

“Okay, but why are we dressed up?”

Nova looked at her, deadpan.  “Most wanted pirate in the world, remember?  Ever heard of a disguise?”

“Well yeah, but why so fancy?”  

“My informant has a flair for dramatics.  They want to meet us at the local noble’s house.  Conveniently for us, it’s also a masquerade ball tonight.  No one will notice another pair of guests.”  

“And why bring me?”

“You’re my ticket out if things go south,” Nova responded as she pulled the oars through the water.  The small vessel cut through the waves like a knife.  “They won’t risk hurting someone as important as you.”

“Ah.”

They lapsed back into silence, waiting for the distant land to get closer and closer.  

“Do you know how to do hair?”  Nova asked at last.

Danna nodded.

“Good.  Can you do something with yours?  It looks like you haven’t washed it and brushed it in days.”

“I haven’t.”  

Nova didn’t respond.  Danna scowled, and carefully twisted strands into a braid.  She wrapped it up, and tucked the hair up.  

“Good?”  Danna asked.  

Nova nodded mutely.  

“Do… Do you want me to do yours?”  She hesitantly asked.  

Nova inhaled sharply, then nodded.  “That’d be nice.”  She set down the oars, and let Danna scooch in close.  

Nova stiffened as she felt Danna’s fingers brush against her neck, but let herself relax.  Danna worked quickly, expertly moving her fingers through Nova’s hair.  

It only took a few minutes before she said, “Done.”  

Nova moved away first, feeling the loss of Danna’s presence behind her keenly. Her hands probed the braid.  

“Thanks,” she said softly.  

“No problem.”  Danna smiled, then looked away.  

Nova felt her cheeks burning red.  “We’re almost there,” she said, clearing her throat.  “I’d say twenty more minutes of rowing, and We’ll be there.”  

“Okay.” Danna nodded.  

“There are a pair of shoes and a mask for you underneath the seat.”  

“Thank you.”  Danna reached under, and slipped them on.  Her mask was shaped almost like a butterfly, delicate black wire weaving around her face, wings stretching up, reaching for her temples.

Their conversation felt weird.  Stilted.  As if they were dancing around each other, trying not to scare each other off.  

They were silent until the boat bumped against a dock, and Nova stood.  

“Let’s just make this easy from the start,” she said.  “I know you have at least thought about running, so let me make something clear: You can’t.  I will catch you if you try.  And I’ll make you regret it.  Clear?”

Danna nodded.  “Crystal.”  

“Good.”  Nova reached under her seat and pulled out her mask.  She slipped it onto her face, securing the straps tightly.  

She extended an arm to Danna, who accepted it gratefully.  

“If anyone asks, you are Lucianna Cambridge, daughter of a wealthy merchant.  You are my date to the ball,” Nova said.  “Got it?”

Danna stilled.  “We’re… together?  Like… together, together?”

“Yes, Danna.  We are together, together.”  Nova sighed.  

“What do I call you?”

“You can call me Nova.  But only for this evening.  Got it?”

Danna nodded, grinning.  “Fun.”

Nova slid her arm through Danna’s, and led her off the dock.  

---

Danna held her head high as she walked into the ball.  It was something she learned early on in life.  If you acted like you were meant to be there, then you were.  No one would doubt you.  Her shoes clicked against the hard floor as she floated through the door.  This was the most familiar thing in three days.  Danna let a smile grace her lips as she and Nova strode through the crowd.  

Nova looked absolutely stunning.  She looked better than every single other person in the room, with her black hair braided down her back, and her dress sweeping her form.  Her black mask covered the top half of her face, the design similar to that of a bandits.  That was probably intentional, Danna thought.  It made her heart hurt just looking at her.  

Luckily they didn’t stand out too much. Most of the attention skipped right over them.  People were more concerned about the dancers and the food.  Typical royals.  Danna smirked.  Then realized that these people were her people.  She would have fit right in with these people. They were just like her.  Had only three days with the pirates changed her mind so much?

“Where are we going?” Danna hissed to Nova.  

“Relax,”  Nova replied.  “Smile.  We have time.”

“Why aren’t we meeting your informant?”

“We agreed to meet at 7.  We still have half an hour left.”

“So why did we come now?”  Danna demanded. 

Nova grinned.  “To have fun.”

“Fun?” Danna echoed.  

“Uh huh.  You know what that is?”  

“Yes, of course I do,” Danna hissed.  

“We’re going to dance.”  Nova pulled the two of them onto the dance floor, grabbing Danna’s waist. 

“What are you doing?”  Danna asked, stunned.  

Nova laughed.  “Dancing.  What are you doing?”  

“I guess I’m dancing,” she said wearily.  They swayed to the orchestra’s tune, slowly circling the room.  

Nova groaned.  “I hate this. How do you nobles do this?”

Danna couldn’t keep a chuckle from escaping her lips.  ‘I don’t know.  It never seemed so boring before.”

“Hmm.”  Nova led them to the side.  “I can’t handle this.”  She weaved her way through a bunch of party goers, Danna in tow.  

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t know.  Somewhere away from here.”  Finally, they emerged in the gardens.  “There,” Nova grinned.  “This is much better.  I can actually breath.”  

“What are we doing here?”

“Whatever the hell we want.”  Nova laughed and spread her arms wide, tilting her head back.  “We’re all alone.  Who cares what we do?”  

“Well,” Danna laughed.  “If that’s the case, may I have this dance?”

Nova dipped into a curtsy. “You May.”  She held out her hand, and Danna clutched it tightly. They circled each other, eyes locked.  Danna could see Nova’s bright blue eyes glinting through her mask.  She realized with a small shock that they were the exact same shade as the ocean.

“Where’d you learn how to dance?” Danna asked. Nova really was a skilled dancer. 

“Genevieve taught me.  And my… aunt of sorts.”

“Aunt of sorts?”  Danna laughed. “What does that mean.”

“One of the women who raised me.  She was more of an aunt in my life than a mom, but we weren’t related.” 

“Oh.”  Danna held her arm out for Nova to twirl under.  “I’m curious, what made you want to be a pirate.  Why not a thief, or an assassin?  You certainly have the skills to be one.”

Nova shrugged.  “It’s in my blood.  The sea cares for me when no one else will.  It’s always been a part of me. Why would I ever want to leave it?”  

Danna realized that even in the short time she had known Nova, she had begun to think of Nova as the sea. As if they were the same thing.  She couldn’t imagine Nova without imagining the sea.  

“So why not be a sailor?”

“Like I said. it’s in my blood.”  Nova spun Danna into a dip. “Why?”

“I want to know more about my kidnapper,” Danna replied. “Is that weird?”

Nova nodded.  “I mean yeah, but this whole situation is.”  

“Why did you kidnap me in the first place?”  Danna asked. “Why me?”

Nova shrugged. “I don’t know.”

They both twirled away from each other, hands tracing arcs through the night. “You felt right,” Nova whispered.

“Right?”

They spun back together, meeting in the middle, lips almost touching.  Both girls were breathless from the cold and the dancing, and perhaps something else entirely. 

“Yeah.”  Nova bit her lip. “I watched a ball one time. You were there. Everyone around you was in constant motion, trying to bump up their place in the social hierarchy.  Everyone but you,” Nova said, their breath mixing.  Danna could smell Nova.  She smelled like the sea. 

“What was I doing?” Danna whispered. This moment felt so still, so special. 

“Absolutely nothing. You stood still, not giving a damn about what the other people did. I was intrigued by you. I wanted to know more.”

“And here we are,” Danna finished. 

With a start, she realized exactly how close they were. 

She cleared her throat loudly and backed away. 

Nova bit her lip, and looked down.  Her mask hid her face from Danna’s eyes.  

“We should go meet my contact,” Nova said. “I think we’ve wasted enough time.”  Nova hurried off, Danna jogging to keep up.

---

What the hell was Nova thinking?  Letting herself get carried away like that.  With Danna of all people. Her sworn enemy.  

And all Nova could think about was how gorgeous her lips looked.  The way her brown eyes sparkled underneath the delicate wire.  

She scowled as her feet carried her through the mansion.  A door stood at the end of the hallway, and Nova stopped in front of it. She knocked four times, and waited for a response. 

The door cracked open, and a stormy gray eye peered out. 

“Narcissa, it’s me. Stop being so damn paranoid,” Nova sighed. 

“Fine,” the voice replied, laced with suspicion. The door opened the rest of the way and the two girls hurried in. 

A girl in long trousers and a white blouse stood in front of the, her long ginger braid slung over a shoulder. 

Nova embraced her, grinning. 

“It’s been too long, Nova,” Narcissa murmured. 

“I’m sorry.  I’ve been busy. Do you have…”. Nova trailed off. 

Narcissa nodded.  “Here.”  She shoved a small paper envelope into Nova’s hands. 

Nova carefully shoved it into her dress, careful not to wrinkle anything. 

“Ace will be happy about this,” Nova said. 

Danna coughed quietly behind the two girls. “Right. Narcissa, this is Danna. Danna, this is Narcissa,” Nova said, stepping aside. 

“Hey,” Danna said quietly. 

Narcissa paused. “Shit!”  Without even saying goodbye, she vanished into the back corners of the room. 

“What-“

“Secret passages,” Nova explained. “Narcissa has a knack for them.”

“Why’d she go?”

And then they heard it. Footsteps marching closer and closer. 

“What are we going to do?”  Danna asked. “We’re about to be caught!”  

Nova’s eyes flashed. “Kiss me!” She whispered fiercely. 

“Pardon?”

Nova groaned. “Now is not the time for manners. Kiss me!”  

Danna stared, open mouthed at her. 

“Oh for the love of-“. Nova took Danna’s face in her hands, and kissed her herself, just as the door opened.  A guard poked his head in, then blushed beet red when he saw the two girls. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled awkwardly. “I’ll uh, I’ll leave you two alone.”  The door shut as he hastily ducked back out. 

They slowly parted, lips still tingling with the memory. 

“Oh,” Danna whispered, bringing a finger up to her lips. “Wow.”  

Nova raised her eyebrows. “There’s more to you than meets the eye, Danna Bell.”  She opened the door, and hurried out, Danna right behind. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Danna asked. 

Nova ignored her. Every nerve on her body was screaming with the memory of Danna’s soft lips on her own. That had been a bad idea. A very bad idea, because now, Nova couldn’t get the memory out of her head.  “We have what we came to get. We should go,” Nova said. 

“No more dancing?”  Danna asked. 

“No time. Every extra second is a risk.”  Nova hurried on. Nova was absolutely furious with herself.  She had other options.  But her brain went to kissing Danna first.  And she had enjoyed it.  It had felt really nice.   And Nova wanted to do it again.  She led Danna out to the dance floor, then froze.  “Shit, shit, shit,” she whispered.  

Danna ran straight into her.  “What is it?” Danna hissed.

Nova groaned.  “I see someone I know.”

Danna raised an eyebrow.  “Someone you know?  Like they know you as Nova?”

Nova cringed.  “Not exactly.”

Danna waited for an answer, arms crossed.  

“Fine.”  Nova sighed.  “I stole from them sometime last year when I was on the run.”

“As the Nightmare?”

Nova shook her head.  “As Nova.  I was on my own.  Completely alone.”

“They caught you?”

Nova hissed.  “Of course not!  I’d never let myself be caught.”

“So then what’s the problem?”  Danna asked, confused.  

Nova sighed.  “I used them.  I wanted to steal a valuable piece of jewelry from an important noble in the area.  Their father.  So I used them to figure out what I needed to know, then left them.”  Nova scraped her foot against the ground.  “And I may have placed the blame on them.”  

Danna gaped.  “Nova!  That’s… that’s…”

“Terrible?”  Nova smirked.  “Pirate, remember?”  

“So what do we do?”  

“Fuck!”  Nova snarled viciously.  

“What?”  

“They saw us.  And they’re coming this way.”

“What do we do?”  Danna’s panic was evident.

“Just follow my lead.”  

“Is that Nova Mclain?”  An obnoxious voice asked. 

“Genissa,  long time, no see,” Nova responded, grimacing.  

A girl with icy white hair glared at the two of them.  She wore a pale gown with glittering diamonds scattered across the skirt.  A mask made out of white feathers covered her face, leaving her mouth and nose exposed.  

“I bet you wish it was longer,” Genissa snarled.  “Give me back the medallion!  Or else I call the guards.”

Nova smirked.  “You know, I’d love to, but unfortunately, I sold it.  It’s lost.”  Nova spread her hands out, fake sympathy plastered across her face.

“Your lying,” Genissa snarled.  

“Again, so sorry.  But I actually have to leave so… bye!”  Nova grabbed Danna’s wrist and jerked her away.   

“Nova!”  Genissa screamed.  “Get her!  She’s a thief!”  Guards snapped to attention, and raced after the two girls.  

They swerved between frightened partygoers, Nova using the chaos to grab as much jewelry as possible off the panicking nobles.  She stuffed it into her dress, the hard metal poking into her painfully.  

Danna and Nova emerged in the garden.  

Not bothering to slow, Nova raced for the far wall.  

“What are you doing?”  Danna asked, breathless.  “That’s a dead end!”

Nova laughed.  “Maybe for you.  But I don’t really believe in dead ends.”  

“What does that even mean?”  

The wall got nearer and nearer.  “I think we’re gonna make it!”  Nova crowed.  

Just as a wall of guards appeared from the side of the building, streaming out, heading towards the wall, effectively blocking them off.  

“You spoke too soon,” Danna smirked.  

“Now is not the time,” Nova snarled.  

Danna shrugged.  “It’s a win win situation for me.  Either we escape, and I’m fine, or you get caught, and I’m fine.”  

“You would miss me though,” Nova said.  “Please make this easy for me, m’kay?  I’d rather not have you running off.”  

Danna scowled, but didn’t argue.  

“Stay behind me.  I’ve got this.”  Nova lifted her skirt up, exposing her bare leg to the cold night air.  

Danna gawked at her skin.  

“Stop looking, you perv,” Nova smirked.  

“How do you have so many knives?”  Danna asked, trying to hide her bright red blush.  

“Why don’t you?”  Nova asked, grabbing two wickedly curved blades.  Her entire leg was covered with blades, and a gun was strapped to her thigh.  

“Are you going to take them all out?”  Danna asked, her voice tinged with fear.  

Nova nodded.  “As many as I can,” she said with a bloodthirsty grin.  

“That’s suicide!”  Danna looked at her, eyes wide.  

“Darling, you’ve never even seen me fight.  How could you know that?”

“No one can take out that many trained professional fighters alone.”

“Then I guess I’ll just prove you wrong.”  Nova leapt away, cutting through the night like a knife.  

“Nova!” Danna screamed.  

Nova grinned.  Her blades flashed through the dark, metal gleaming red, wet with blood.  She cut through the guards like paper.  They fell beneath her fury, never even standing a chance.  

Within seconds, the remainder fled, terror clear on their faces.  Nova knelt, and wiped her wet blades on the grass. 

She looked back at Danna, who had fallen to her knees.  She was shaking with sobs.  

“You...you killed them all…” Danna said.  

Nova groaned.  “Not all.  And I had to.  I don’t wanna die.”

“No.  You didn’t.  They were just following orders.  And you murdered them.”  tears slipped out from below her mask.  

“Let’s go,” Nova snarled.  “I don’t know why I expected you to understand.  I will kill to survive.  I have to.  Now, will I have to drag you?” 

Danna rose to her feet.  “I’ll go.”

“Good.”  Nova led her to a small section where the vines covered a gaping hole in the wall.  They slipped out together, Danna shuddering away from the slumped bodies.  

They ran to the dock, and stepped inside the lifeboat.  Nova picked up the oars, and started to row furiously.  

Most of her hair had fallen out of the braid, and her face was covered in a mist of red.  

“Why does it always end in death?”  Danna asked her.  “Why do you kill?”  

“In this world, you have to kill, or be killed.  I’ve done bad things.  And I can’t risk getting caught.  So I kill.  You wouldn’t understand.”

“No one forced you to be a pirate.  You made that choice.  Not anyone else.  You are the only one responsible for your actions,” Danna said, her brown eyes glimmering with tears.  Her mask hung from a strap around her neck.  

“I did.  I am.”  Nova laughed quietly.  “You think I don’t know what I’ve done?  You think I don’t know the stains of red covering my hands?  I am aware of every single death I’ve caused, but I don’t get to have the luxury of caring.”

“You're a monster, you know that?”  Danna turned her body away from Nova.

Nova nodded.  “I know.  I know what I am.”  She looked at the pale moon reflected in the water.  “I know what you think of me.  I know that you think I’m a terrible person.  I’m a vile thief, and liar, and murderer, and a bad, bad person.”

“Is that not true?” Danna demanded, still refusing to look at her.  

Nova hung her head. “It is.  Every single word.  I’m a pirate.  I kill, and pillage, and steal.  But I wasn’t always like this.  I was good once.  The world messed me up, and now I’m paying the price.”

“Is that an excuse for your actions?”

“No.”  Nova sighed, and slumped her shoulders.  “My actions are inexcusable.”  

They lapsed back into silence, the boat being pushed farther and farther away from the bodies Nova left behind.

Tag list: @novissa @thepurpledragon4444  @phobidawg @janisarkisian  @rvbell @lavenderbloo @redassassin @hyeenza (let me know if you want to be added/taken off!!!)  

[fairiesherefairiesthere]

Nothing if not an opportunist (Fraxus)

Short summary: Freed gets kidnapped and Laxus picks his ass up, bc being together is what nice boyfriends do uwu

Intro: 

A more than agreeable way to start one's morning would be with a nice cup of coffee and some baked goods of choice. Should the weather be pleasant, this delightful breakfast could've been taken in his garden. The flowerfilled wonder would look and smell heavenly in the soft light of the morning sun. But alas, hypotheticals are merely that and Freed is having a far less enjoyable morning so far.

Rest of the fic under the cut!

It goes without question that a group of people ambushing you on your way home is far from ideal. It only gets worse when they decide to tie you up with magic-blocking handcuffs right after that and throw you in the back of some dinky carriage. Rude.

With a sigh, Freed repositions himself, trying to find a posture that doesn't cut off his blood circulation. Thanks to an ungodly amount of yoga sessions with Bickslow, he quickly achieves his goal but it's still a far cry from his cozy couch. Inspecting the space, he tuts in disapproval. No cushions, no blankets, not even a beanbag. They should really level up their accommodations if they wanted to avoid the wrath of their temporary guests. A shame they didn't keep that in mind, but Freed sure as hell will.

While he's debating what exactly the awful stench invading his nostrils is, he catches the men in the front talking about a certain topic that catches his attention. His ransom note. Briefly, he mentally deducts some points from them for not putting silencing runes in place.

As the men talk in a not at all hushed tone of voice, it quickly becomes clear that there's no interest in him personally. It's Laxus they're after. A bit predictable and consequently, a bit boring. He mentally deducts a few more points. If they keep this up, they'll end up becoming the worst team that kidnapped him in the shortest amount of time.

Because he considers himself a graceful man, raised right as well as raised to be a bastard, he puts his face between the bars separating him and his kidnappers. "Good day gentlemen," he starts politely and in return, one of them spits in his face. Disappointing. He'll keep it in mind. Outwardly unperturbed, he continues. "I have been listening to your attempts at writing a threatening ransom note for the past half hour and quite frankly, I am not at all impressed. Please try to be at least intelligible, we wouldn't want them to get wrong impressions right?"

"Shut up, I'll torture and kill you", one of them growls and Freed nods enthusiastically. "That's it! Clear and to the point. Now please describe exactly how you'll do it and I'll rephrase it for you. I want my ransom note to be up to my standards. I expect both eloquence and elegance. Maybe even a hint of cheekiness if we're feeling up to it." As the man starts a litany of threats and curses, Freed carefully paraphrases everything, which only heats the man up more. As he gets his enjoyment out of harassing the man, he catches his accomplice writing down his more concrete, paraphrased version of the threats.

Although he missed out on a nice, peaceful morning he can't say that he isn't enjoying himself right now. Being a pest is an artform he's fully mastered.

Laxus hasn't seen Freed all day and to be honest, he hadn't really been worried. That is until he's sipping on a beer while Bickslow and Evergreen are making themselves a tad bit too comfortable on his couch. They had thrown him off and are currently engaged in a fight for the sole rights to the leather-worn throne. Seeing how vicious the fight is turning, he's glad that he had already been eliminated from the fight.

A letter is shoved underneath his door and although Laxus is lightning fast, he's unable to catch even a glimpse of the mailman. "A secret love letter!" Bickslow exclaims from his place on the floor and Evergreen rolls her eyes in response. "If that was a love letter, I'd throw it in the trash. Look at the shoddy thing!"

She's right, Laxus realises. The letter looks awful, crumpled and stained with what seems to be blood. Worry increasing, he opens it up and quickly scans the content of the text. His concern reaches a peak when he spots the long lock of green hair attached to the letter and as he holds it up, Evergreen and Bickslow hiss in unison. "Our baby got kidnapped again, didn't he?" Bickslow asks and Laxus nods.

"They've included an address and say I should come weaponless and with magic-blocking cuffs already on. They say they have to settle a score with me and if I don't come within the next 48 hours they'll kill him. With every hour the torture also increases."

Bickslow whistles between his teeth. "Guess ya gotta go huh?" Evergreen frowns. "Do you even have magic blocking cuffs?" she asks and he points at the ceiling. "In my bedroom", he says and while Bickslow cackles, Evergreen's frown only gets deeper. "Why are there magic-blocking handcuffs in your bedroom...?" When Laxus returns with the green, fluffy cuffs, Evergreens' disappointment is palpable. "They've got little lightning bolts on them!" he tries to defend himself and it sounds ridiculous to his own ears.

Trying to desperately change the subject, he asks if they want to come along on the rescue mission. The answer's a firm no. "The aftermath of these situations are never pretty", Evergreen whispers, eyes clouded with a distant emotion. "I don't want to see the violence, the effects of hopelessness", Bickslow adds, swallowing dryly. Laxus understands their sentiment better than anyone. "Then I'll be bringing him back", he promises, although he knows he doesn't have to. They know he does it every time without fail.

Laxus arrives at the castle at twilight, light and dark intertwining as he enters the too quiet place. Normally castles of this size should be alive, the hum of the hustling and bustling of servants forming the core of it's sound. Although he can hear people scurrying about far away, there's still the lingering feeling that it is way too quiet. It's as though the castle is awaiting his arrival with baited breath.

Upon entering the hall, he's greeted by a quivering maid. Unable to look him in the eyes, she asks: "Master Dreyar, I presume?" while directing her gaze at the floor. "Take me where I need to be." He doesn't mean to be so brusque, but he has no time to spare for useless pleasantries.

She quickly guides him to the main room and even before he enters it, he knows that the room will be a show of absolute opulence, meant to intimidate him from the get go. As soon as he enters, his suspicions are confirmed.

The ceiling is as high as the ceiling of most gothic churches and the candles lighting up the room are a mere few. Nevertheless, every grim decoration in the rooms is properly lit. The decorative skulls, the chains, everything is immersed in the same eerie glow. In this faint light, Laxus can make out the servants stationed at the sides of the carpet leading to the throne. Behind them, there are scratches on the walls, destroyed tables and what seems to be... bits and bops of human beings. It's like an Ikea set of human remains.

A cough draws his attention to the throne. The glow of the lights reflects of the crown of the man sitting on it. The light also bounces off the bejeweled cape draped across his shoulders and Laxus can't help but stare. Perched on the throne like a lazy cat who has very much made a place formerly belonging to someone else is his own, is Freed Justine. "Hello Laxus, I was wondering when you'd show up. Did you like my letter?"

As Freed slinks of the throne and walks towards him, with every piece of jewelry that comes to light as he draws closer, jingling softly. The sound matches Freed's natural sound well and the lavish jewelry take his already handsome looks to another level. That and the horns accentuating the crown, the little tinge of red left on his too sharp teeth as well as the glow in his usually hidden eye.

He's not surprised at this situation in the slightest, as this is how Freed's kidnappings usually go. The man is simply too charming, too cunning and too powerful to be contained by a few simple bandits. The only reason Laxus comes to pick him up, is because he knows Freed enjoys being walked home. It's the simple things, like this form of domesticity, that makes their relationship so enjoyable.

"I asked the servants to prepare us a meal before we set off? Would you join me Mister Dreyar?" he asks teasingly. "It is our date night after all." With a smile he agrees. "It is, this is very considerate of you." Freed gives him a chuckle and a wink in return. "I'm nothing if not an opportunist." They toast to that later on.

Once back at the guild, Makarov flags them down, concern evident on his face. "You've got to take better care of him", he hisses at Laxus and before Laxus can tell him that he really doesn't have to, Freed smoothly cuts in. "Please don't worry about it master, he already does such a splendid job of saving me every time. A man can't ask for more than a splendid hero, right?"

Although it's a lie totally dicrediting Freed's own skill, Laxus doesn't correct him, even though he wants to. He knows Freed by now, knows that every lie, every piece of omitted information is probably part of a scheme of a sly mind that never stops working. He knows that the image of a mage depending on Laxus makes him a walking target and Laxus knows that the man enjoys nothing more than a good fight. Maybe there's more to it than Freed's hobby of beating up people, maybe there isn't. Either way, Laxus loves watching Freed's plans unfold, even if it means that he has to hold his tongue sometimes.

[mommymooze]

The Legendary Mister Bones

“Homework! Momma gave us homework during winter break?“ Jeralt huffs at his twin sister.

“Well, if you wouldn’t have broke the vase we probably could still be playing Knights and thieves in the halls. She’s just keeping us busy and out of trouble. I know these things.” Sothifina complains, her brows furrowing over her emerald green eyes.

Lambert, oldest of the four Blaiddyd children gathers them into an old meeting room repurposed for their tutoring. Seated at the end of a large table they gather writing instruments and paper.

The Queen enters with the youngest child. Blue hair and large blue eyes, the boy is lowered from his mother’s hip. He hugs his mother’s legs, then runs to his siblings, hugging them all like it has been weeks since he has seen them when in reality it has only been since breakfast. Lambert picks up his little brother and seats him on the chair next to him. There are a few books on the seat as a booster, so that he can see well over the top of the table. Lambert places the box of colored waxes next to him with papers. Glenn is barely six and learning to write letters and his name. Professor Ignatz says he has natural talent, so Glenn will be the artist for this project.

“I want you all to work on writing a story for me. When it is finished you can read it to us before bedtime. You all will work together on it.” The Queen smiles, however, the children heard that serious tone to her voice, and they would have to follow her royal orders. “I will have lunch brought to you. Lambert is in charge. Jeralt, before you try to escape, I have a guard posted at the door.”

An audible groan emits from Jeralt, he hitshis forehead on the table.

“Behave. I love you.” Queen Byleth says as she leaves, closing the door behind her.

“Told you.” Sothifina says with a smirk.

Jeralt creeps to the door and sneaks a peak through a crack. “It’s Bones. We’re stuck.”  Trudging back to his chair he puts his elbow on the table and jams his chin onto his hand.

“What shall we write about?” Lambert works to get them organized.

Glenn chirps excitedly, “Lammy! We can write about Mister Bones!” The most creative of the bunch has found the answer.

“Yes!” Jeralt begins to get excited. “We can have sword fights and battles and …”

“Magic!” Sothifina cuts in.

The four are now excited about the project. Lambert takes notes about what to include in the story.

The prince was lost deep in the woodlands of Faerghus, far from his warm, safe home in Fhirdiad. He bravely battled alone against thieves and brigands and everyone that had threatened the peaceful life in the nearby villages. It was a cold and stormy night when he sought refuge in a hut nestled deep within the darkest, scariest heart of the woods. He was not well.

“That’s a good start.” Lambert says, thinking out loud.

“But you only say there was fighting. I want to talk about the fight itself, and blood spraying and arms flying off and sparks when the blades hit each other.” Whines Jeralt as he waves his quill around like a sword stabbing in the direction of his sister.

“I know what comes next, let me do this part.” Sothifina’s eyes sparkle as she puts ink to paper.

The Prince entered the dilapidated building with great caution. The furniture was ruined and appeared to be very, very, old. Taking his lance tip, he poked at the bed but only found nests of rats and mice. At the foot of the bed, covered in decaying cloths, he jabbed his lance into the pile and was rewarded with the sound of something solid amongst the refuse. He swiped the filthy and ruined materials away to find a black box. It stood as tall as his knee and was covered by black metal. The box was locked. No normal man would be able to open the lid of the box, but the Prince was certainly not ordinary. As if he were opening a birthday present, he ripped the lid from the box and peered inside.

A dark black book covered in magical runes sat on the top. He did not know magic so he put it away to save for his daughter.

“You can’t say that. He didn’t know anything about getting married, much less having kids at that time.” Lambert frowns

Okay, Okay Let me fix it.” Sothifina sticks her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrates.

He did not know magic, but felt it wise to stash the book away, keeping it safe from enemy hands.

That’s better, now we can talk about enemies with swords and blades and fighting.” Jeralt chimes in.

“No. Not yet. Remember father has told us these stories, but we are trying to write it more focused on Mister Bones.” Sotifina chastises her twin, trying very much to sound like mother.

Jeralt sits back in his chair, resting his cheek in his palm as he kicks the table leg next to him while trying to be patient.

Below the book there were three mysterious daggers, each having a different colored stone within the center of the hilt. A ring lay alongside them. The last and most important item in the box was a sack tied with a red ribbon. The sack was very old, but it looked new compared to everything else found in the hut.  He took it out of the box and lay it on the ground. He untied the sack and peered inside. It was nothing but a bag of old bones. human bones, and nothing else. He turned away to poke at other piles on the floor with his lance when a rattling sound caught his attention. Strange magic was afoot as  before him, from the bones in the sack a skeleton started to assemble itself. The last piece was the skull that rolled up the front of the body and settled on the neck. The skeletons hands made a final adjustment and then stood absolutely still in front of him. The man stood back and gasped, his hand coming to his heart. “What kind of monster are you?” he said as he was shocked to see the skeleton.

“Bonesss” the skeleton answered. So he called the skeleton Bones from then on.

Bones stayed with the prince throughout the first five years of the war. It was like a skeleton version of Dedue, always working hard for the Prince and helping him with his goals. Bones would hold the cloak of the prince over him while he slept, like a big boney tent frame. Bones did not talk much. The Prince, because he was sick, did not really wanted to be talked to, so they got along very well.

One night, close to the Millennium festival at the monastery, the Prince had to get rid of some thieves that were stealing rare artifacts. The prince held his lance on high and announced in a mighty voice, “Die you foul and dirty rats! I shall cleanse the world of you! He swung his mighty lance with his super great strength and took out five of them with a single blow! He was truly awesome and cool.

“We did pretty good until this last part. This is supposed to be about Mister Bones, not about father.” Lambert tries to rein in his younger brother. Let me fix that last paragraph entirely.

It was getting closer to the Millennium festival’s celebration time. Although the festival would not be held due to the war, all of the Blue Lions agreed to meet at the monastery on that date. The prince, although he was suffering, he too wanted to be there at the academy. He was joined by Bones, his loyal companion. The deadly duo were the first to arrive. They found the evildoers hiding in the great hall. The prince raised his mighty lance and fought the thieves that had tried to make this place their home. Bones fought alongside the Prince. Bones was a mighty fighter, wielding two swords at the same time. Bones was careful to watch the Prince’s back, protecting him from anyone that may try to sneak up on him. Bones did not worry about getting killed in battle, he was already dead. They could stab him and hit him and he could not bleed or feel pain. One of the thieves was a mage, and tried to burn bones with fire. Bones still felt no pain and because he was made with magic the fire did not affect him. Bones took his swords and attacked the mage, finishing him off like the Prince did with his fellow bandits.

Bones was very strong and took the bodies outside while the Prince tended to his wounds. They cleaned out the Great Hall and the Training grounds. They cleaned out the students dormitories. They found that some of the thieves had locked themselves in a students room. Bones finger fit in the lock and opened it like it was a skeleton key. Then the duo ran into the room, swords and lance flashing, bringing swift justice against the evil thieves.  

The prince knew that Bones was magical but not indestructible. Sometimes his bones would break and they would have to be repaired. This took a lot of time, so they took the armor off of the thieves and evil people they came across. Some of it they used to protect bones, some of it they used to repair the prince’s armor. Bones was very scary to anyone meeting him in battle. With a helmet and plate across his chest, greaves and gauntlets, heavy boots, Bones looked more like a regular person, until you were close and looked into his face. Some cowards ran as soon as they saw what he really was.  Once they had cleared most of the buildings, they cleared the Cathedral and the last building was the Goddess tower.  It was a difficult battle, mostly fought on stairs where the enemy had the advantage, but Bones and the Prince refused to give up. They fought until the last enemy had been dispatched.  They sat together on the highest level. The prince needed sleep and Bones needed to repair many of his bones that were broken in the last fight.

Professor Byleth soon came back to the monastery after her very long sleep. She found the Prince sleeping at the top. They talked and then they had to go out and remove more thieves. He told Bones to come along and he did. The Professor looked at Bones and went along to go and fight. She was not scared of the walking skeleton.

They ran outside and found their classmates one by one. They had not noticed Bones until the fighting was over.  Bones was standing a distance behind the prince when Annette looked over and saw the face sticking out of the helmet. She screamed and threw a fireball at the skeleton. Bones stood still as the leather on the armor he was wearing caught fire and burned.  The Prince explained how he found Bones and that was his companion and nobody on his side should try to kill him.

Lysithea, Annette and Ashe disagreed. It was like having a ghost living with them because Bones was dead and so were ghosts. Professor Byleth explained that this was magic and it was okay.  The three of them stayed as far away as they could because Bones creeped them out. Mercedes thought it was funny and laughed and help put out the fire on Bones.

They all moved back into their own dormitories, except for the Prince who still was ill and had terrible headaches. He stayed in the Cathedral and Bones watched over him there. Things went okay unless a certain trio had to bring food to the Prince. Bones would prevent anyone from attacking him and stand in front of the prince so that he could not attack them either. This week the first to bring food was Mercedes.  She waved to bones as she brought a plate of lunch. She tried to talk to the Prince but he ignored her. When she got back to her friends, Lysithea, Ashe and Annette were all very curious as to how it went. Was she attacked? What happened?

Mercedes said it went quietly.  “Dimitri ignored me. Bones looked very calm. I guess nothing can get under his skin, eh?

Ashe started to chuckle, “Oh! I get it! He doesn’t have any skin to get under. Hah.”

Lysithea groaned while Annette just looked worried about when it was her turn to bring food.

Wherever the Prince went, Bones followed behind and stood behind him. The skeleton was large and his chest was very wide. It reminded everyone of Dedue, who they were told died when he saved Dimitri from being assassinated.

Some of the students decided maybe they could give Bones a different look, just so they would not think of it being so much like Dedue.  They told Bones to take off his armor if he was just around the monastery. That pretty much creeped out Annette, Ashe and Lysithea even more. Mercedes found a light blue dress in the back of the bathhouse, so she put that on Bones. They tied white gloves to the wrists and put a large white wide brimmed hat on the skull. Annette was even brave enough to get really close and put rouge on the cheeks of the skull. Annette giggled. Now Bones looked pretty funny and not really scary at all.

They started making skeleton jokes at dinner.

“Hey Ashe! When does a skeleton laugh? When you tickle it’s funny bone!” Annette giggled.

“I got one.” Mercedes piped up, “How does the skeleton know if it is raining? It can feel it on its bones.”

Lysithea joined in, “Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? Because it had no BODY to go with.”

Linhardt was walking past and felt obligated to contribute. “Why did the skeleton not get up in the morning? Because it was a lazy bones.”

“Takes one to know one, Lin” Lysithea quipped, hoping to get under his skin.

One day the army had to head out for a mission. The group moved slowly due to their numbers. Dimitri spoke to Bones, sending him forward to scout out the roads. Bones ran ahead and after a while Bones ran back.

“50 Banditsss ahead” Bones said in a heavy whisper.

Sylvain and Lysithea were very shocked. Nobody had told them Bones could speak!

The army prepared and were able to vanquish the bandits with no trouble and few injuries. Bones was a useful scout and became invaluable to the army as the war continued.

The Prince was slowly feeling better. He was practicing the lance with Sylvain. Felix entered the training grounds. As soon as Felix took a training sword, Bones stood in front of him.

“Pull my finger” Bones said.

“What the heck.” Grunts Felix.

Bones holds out his hand and finger in front of Felix.

Felix pulls his finger.

Bones entire arm falls off.

“Ssssee you in court” Bones says then turns away. “Ssssucker” and walks back to stand behind Dimitri.

Felix stands there with the arm hanging from his hand.

Sylvain cannot hold it back any longer and begins to laugh his head off. Even the prince is laughing. Felix gets angry and beats Sylvain over the head with the arm and calls Sylvain a Numbskull.

Lambert stops just as lunch carts come through the door. Papers are cleared and the table is set, each child doing their assigned duty. Glenn places the napkins just so, making sure the silverware is lined up correctly. Lambert then fills the plates of his siblings. They talk about other things they know about Mister Bones and after lunch they will continue their homework. Jeralt and Sothifina had been writing their apology letters for disobeying the rule of playing Knights and Bandits inside the palace. Glenn was working on several illustrations for the story.

 Mister Bones fought well along with the rest of the former students. He did not need healing. He never bruised or bled. Lindhardt said that was his favorite thing about him. The skeleton would help protect everyone it could in battles. A thief would stab through the plate on his chest so Bones would turn, dragging the thief with him, disarming the thief or knocking them off balance so that they could be defeated.

There were a few things that were successful at attacking the animated bones. The dogs of the monastery were always following him around trying to steal a bone or two. Most of them gave up quickly, however there was one Blaiddyd Rex that was extremely fast and strong. It would hide around a corner, only to bound up to full speed, grabbing a leg bone and pulling it from the skeleton. They would then find it half buried somewhere inside the grounds.

Although very resistant to magic, heavily bladed wind spells would also cause damage to Mister Bones. It would have to soak in hot milk mixed with spinach, broccoli and collard greens to help him rebuild his calcium. He also used powdered bones mixed with thick cheese to fill in breaks and cracks. Fortunately, Mister Bones knew of his self-care needs. He could disassemble into his bones and fit in a large stewpot, so not a lot of the army’s food resources were needed for his caretaking. The only issue would be if the cooks came in early and checked the pot on the stove only to find a skeleton head smiling back at them.

Bones would help around the monastery, never tiring, never complaining. For being made of bones he was very strong. It  could pick up anyone, even Alois in full plate armor. Bones did a lot of rubble clearing, working all day, never breaking a sweat. While the former students and teachers would have meetings and stop for meals, it would be able to continue working. The Professor found that Bones was helpful in food gathering and hunts. They were quiet and very patient. Bones would direct her to a specific area in the woods where there would be plentiful mushrooms. One time the Professor asked why the skeleton knew where the mushrooms were there.

Mister Bones said, “I feel it in my…”

That was the last time the Professor asked that question.

Mister Bones was of use to everyone in battle. Besides being there to defend the Prince, they also helped defend the rest of the team mates. His bones were used temporarily as splints when theirs were broken. Whenever anyone was too weak to fight, he was the first to take them back to the medical tents.  When they were short of horses returning after a battle, it would give them piggyback rides all the way to the monastery. Whenever someone was sad, it listened patiently as they told of their woes and gave a boney hug to anyone that needed it.

When the war was over, Mister Bones was a participant in the coronation. Standing proudly next to the Professor who became the Archbishop, they held the crown that would be placed on Dimitri’s brow. It also attended the ball afterwards and had danced with every one of the Blue Lions and even a few members of the Golden Deer. Nobody worried about dancing with the skeleton, it never complained about anyone stepping on its feet.

It was a permanent figure at the castle and went with King Dimitri and Dedue on all their travels and missions. They frequented Garreg Mach for negotiations with Lords from the surrounding lands and other countries. There was a new church built in Fhirdiad, the Church of Sothis which is now headed by the Archbishop Byleth. The King and Archbishop married and live in the castle in the capital of the country. As with many marriages, they are blessed with children.

The Queen first has the baby in a cradle at the side of the bed, however after a few months, the baby is now in the adjoining nursery. The royal couple is awakened in the dark hours of early morning by a baby’s cry. The queen slowly awakens, dons her robe and slippers and opens the nursery door. To her surprise, Mister Bones is already there, changing the diaper of the young prince, then warmly swaddling the baby, he takes it in his bony arms, sits in the nearby rocking chair and rocks the baby asleep. The skeleton has been with the Queen many times as she has cared for the babe, perhaps it has learned this from her?  The Queen softly speaks, “I trust you Bones, should the baby need me, please do not hesitate to find me. Thank you for your yelp”

A silent nod is noted as the babe is slowly rocked to sleep.

The King and Queen had found that Mister Bones was an excellent nanny for the children. Bringing them to the queen for feedings, he then took them to be burped, changed and put back to bed. Bones would not sing them to sleep, he would tap on his ribs that would make musical notes and play them songs until the babies drifted into a peaceful sleep. He then stood guard next to their cribs so that no harm would come to them. As the babies grew older, the babies found that legbones of a skeleton were great to use to pull into a standing position. Also, skeletons had no limitations of how long they could bend over watching babies as they walked holding onto their legs. Jeralt learned to climb up the body of the skeleton to sit on its shoulders before he learned out to walk. Always the daredevil, Jeralt would urge bones to walk around so that Jeralt could grab at people that the skeleton ambled past.

Mister Bones was a very important and loved member of the Blaiddyd family. They all lived happily ever after.

[youeggbastard]

Can I get any/all of the General and Love questions for anyone you want 🥺🥺

Yes 🥺 Sorry for the long post

Original Format here for anyone that want’s to use it 

Ellie and Kaidan

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

There wasn’t really one person who took the first step for them, it was more like. It was kind of a group effort, they were both in love with each other, they both knew it but they both knew that they weren’t exactly in the best position to have anything, so there was just a lot of longing stares and unsaid things between them for the longest time. So by the time they actually took the next step so to speak it kind of felt like they have already been with each other. If that makes sense.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

I mean, do you count clearing out caves of bandits or hunting dragons as first dates? Because I do and I consider the first time Ellie took Kai dragon hunting their first date. So there was a lot of cursing, a bit of fire, and all other fun things. 

What was their first kiss like?

It was very sweet at first, I mentioned before that there was just a lot of unrequited feelings and yearning between them, so when they finally kissed it was like the dam broke free.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

Kai was Ellie’s first love and relationship, she’s had sex before and all that good stuff, but he was first person she ever fell in love with, and I guess I would say Ellie was Kai’s first good relationship that was actually built on love. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

I have no idea the actual height of Kaidan, but I’m assuming it’s in the 6 foot range, and since Ellie is only five foot there’s at least a foot of height difference between the two. As for age, I think someone claimed Kai is around 25 so there’s probably only a couple months to a year age difference between them.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

They’re both orphans, so they are each others family 🥺

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Both of them are pretty reclusive but I would say probably Ellie, she’s more approachable and a better people person at least.

Who gets jealous easier?

Ellieeeee, her jealousy is a weird kind of jealousy, it’s not that she doesn’t trust Kai. But she’s always struggled with self confidence issues and her self worth so it’s kind of hard to see someone flirting with Kai and not at least have that sliver of doubt or that moment of: he might be happier with that person because they aren’t a doom driver dragonborn werewolf combo. She’d never say any of this though.

Love

Who said “I love you” first?

It was kind of an unsaid thing between each other for the longest time, but I guess if we’re going on technical it was Kai.

What are their primary love languages?

Gift Giving and Acts of Service. Ellie gives him books with little notes she writes in them as well as cool rock she finds. Kaidan always makes sure she has food in her knapsack, her water pouch is full, etc etc.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA is probably pretty rare between them it’s mostly all about the eye contact, but when they’re alone cuddling is an absolute must.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Adventuring, they have a home but I lowkey think the both of them are happiest when they’re wandering about Skyrim and further, sleeping under the stars, and getting up to all sorts of trouble. 

Who’s better at comforting the other?

Kaidan, hands down. Ellie with all her sweetness is horrible at comforting other people, she just kind of stands there awkwardly, occasionally she’ll just try to feed you sweets? Luckily Kai knows that when she does that she’s trying her best.

Who’s more protective? 

Funny enough, it’s actually Ellie, I think it’s mostly because of her beast blood and the wolf like tendency to protect your pack. She’s not possessive she’s just a bit on the protective side, but she’s like that with all of her friends. 

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical, but only when they’re alone. Luckily the two of them are secure enough  in their relationship that they don’t have to constantly be touching or reciting poetry to one another to show that they love each other. They both already know. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

Am I using this a chance to show my Spotify playlist I made for them? Yesssss But i would say the best song with be “Would That I” By Hozier

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

We all know Kai’s wide variety of nicknames he has for the ldb, Ellie will usually stick to calling him by name or My Love if she’s feeling really special.

Kaidan & Jen 

I Hope you don’t mind but I wanted to answer these additional ones for these guys too 🥺

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

(To the tune of Sk8er Boi) He a cultist, she was a vigilant can I make it anymore obvious? 

What was their first impression of each other?

They tried to kill each other, and almost succeeded  ❤

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Nope, for obvious reasons.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

Romantic feelings don’t come until way, way down the line and then I think they both ended developing feelings around the same time, you know after they learn to trust each other and actually become friends. But it’s Kai who acknowledged his feelings first. 

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Oh yeeahhh, by the time they develop feelings it’s less about the fact they once tried to kill each other and more of their own personal issues. Kai thinks Jen couldn’t love him because of their past and is scared of what admitting that would do to their friendship they have now. Jen has essentially had her love used against her every time so when she falls in love with someone she just assumes she’s going to get hurt. Very badly.  

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

They would probably laugh in your face and then develop feelings later and be like “wait, shit no.”

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Depends how you look at it, Kai was the first to confess his feelings and Jen didn’t take it well, it took her getting over herself for them to actually acknowledge their feelings and make something out of it. But it was Jen to first initiate they sleep together. 

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

I’m going to count Kai taking her to Shadowgreen Cavern as a first date, it was very sweet at first until Kai told her that he loved her.

What was their first kiss like?

There was a lot of unresolved tension, and unsaid feelings so it was a pretty passionate kiss. Both of them knowing that it was a lot more than just a kiss but both too scared to acknowledge that or what it would mean. 

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

I was about to say they were the first relationship where they haven't tried to kill each other, but even that’s not true. So Probably the first healthy relationship they have, if you ignore their rocky start, as well as first husband/wife. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference? 

Jen is around 5′7, so Kai has a good couple inches on her. They’re the same age with Jen probably being a few months older. 

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Kai’s family is dead as we know, and Jen’s dad tried to sacrifice her so if I do end up bringing him back for conflict reasons, I can’t imagine the relationship would be very good. 

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Normally Jen.

Who gets jealous easier?

Kaidan, Jen usually just finds the people that flirt with Kai funny and will sometimes join in just to get him flustered. 

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

Kaidan, like I said Jen doesn’t take it well. 

What are their primary love languages?

Primarily Acts of Service for both of them, Jen’s language of love is mostly gently mothering people until they get annoyed. 

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Pretty Often actually, Jen is a very physical person, sometimes she just needs a reminder that she’s alive and that the other is alive so touching reminds her of that. It was a bit of a culture shock for Kai who, at least I think, is extremely touch starved. 

What are their favorite things to do together?

Both of them are content doing their own thing but in the same vicinity. Jen gardening while Kai reads in the garden, that sort of thing. 

Who’s better at comforting the other?

They are both good at comforting, though Kai maybe just a bit more because Jen can be a bit much. 

Who’s more protective?

Kaidan, he wishes he didn’t have to be but honestly it’s Jen fault for Never wearing armor and always charging into battle without thinking.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Like I said, Jen is a very physical person, but she always goes out of her way to remind Kai that she loves him after learning he probably hasn’t heard those three words that often in his life. I think Kai relies more on being physical with his affection, than verbal, I imagine he feels like his words won’t do how much he loves her justice. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

Time for me to shamelessly put ANOTHER playlist I made for this specific couple But I’ve been wibing with the song “War Of Hearts” by Ruelle being their anthem or “Hate Me” by Eurielle 

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

The thought of Jen calling anyone “My darling” or “My dear” get’s me feeling things. 

[metamorphicrocky]

prompt: Set two years in the future, Little Cato has been hiding the fact that he's gay for a few months. He decides it's finally time to come out to everyone with the encouragement from Ash who knows his secret. Then cue the scene where Gary's hugging his son and telling him that he loves him no matter what.

YES TO THIS PROMPT. YES YES YES. I already wanted to write a coming out fic but the timeskip?? oh I love it. thank you so much for blessing me.

"Okay, okay. Your ten o'clock? I think someone's interested in you," Ash teases, pointing at the person she's talking about.

Little Cato turns around in his barstool to see who Ash is talking about, and he makes eye contact with someone around his age. And oh. The guy staring at him is with a group of other teens, and he waves with a smile when he sees Little Cato looking.

"Ah! You're blushing!" Fox yells, a bit too loudly.

Ash laughs, "Oh, that is adorable. Go talk to him!"

Little Cato's head whips towards his friends. He shakes his head rapidly, his mouth opening and closing in confusion. He couldn't, no no no.

"Nope, not happening."

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" Ash and Fox chant together.

The young Ventrexian crosses his arms, refusing to move from his seat. Fox starts gently pushing him off of the seat though, so he immediately starts grabbing at the bar counter frantically.

"Guys, no!" he hisses. "I don't know how to talk to him, plus I look gross. My hair isn't even styled."

Anxiously, he hunches into himself and runs a hand through his mohawk which really needs to be redyed and actually gelled. And oh wow, there's a stain on his shirt, so he is definitely not going to talk to that cute guy who is walking over to him—

What. The. Hell.

"Oh my gosh, he's walking over!" Ash squees. "Go meet in the middle, it'll be so romantic!"

And then the traitor pushes him off of his seat, and he stumbles forward, nearly crashing into the ridiculously cute guy.

"You okay there?" the guy asks with the most pleasing voice he has ever heard, placing his hands on Little Cato's elbows to help steady him.

Oh hell, he can feel his entire face heat up, but he clears his throat and says, "Yeah. She just, uh, pushed me. You know how friends are, right?"

The guy laughs nervously, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, my friends are the reason I'm over here. I'm Harrison."

"Little Cato."

Harrison laughs. "That's a cute name."

"Heh. Yeah. So, uh...," Little Cato trails off nervously. Oh fuck oh shit oh fuck what is he doing?!

"I like your hair. The blue goes well with your, uh, orange." Harrison rubs the back of his neck, and he's also blushing.

"I like your you." Little Cato can hear Ash and Fox losing their minds behind him, and he stiffens up. "I meant to say, I like you. Because that's how talking works. And not...what I said...before."

Their very awkward conversation takes a lull, and Little Cato just takes in all of his features with the sound of the bar behind him. Wow, Harrison is...really cute. And he seems nice, which is a definite bonus.

"Do you, um, want to go out some time?" Little Cato asks, and the two different groups of friends scream. The moment he realizes what he said, he panics.

But before he can backtrack, Harrison smiles, and it nearly kills Little Cato from how cute it is. "Yeah, I'd love to. Should we exchange numbers, or...?"

The Ventrexian nods. "Yeah, yeah, that'd be good."

They both take out their phones, Little Cato's much older in model, and hand them to each other. They quickly type in their names and numbers and switch back.

"Your last name is Goodspeed?" Harrison asks in disbelief. "As in, like, Gary Goodspeed?"

Little Cato laughs. "Yeah, he's my dad. Adoptive, but still my dad."

"Holy shit, that is so cool! He's like, a total legend at my school. And everywhere else. What's he like? Is he as badass as he sounds?"

He smiles fondly, thinking about how crazy Gary is. "He's the best. And definitely badass, without a doubt."

"Wow, that's—!"

The door to the bar slams open, cutting Harrison off. Everyone turns to look, probably expecting a bar fight about to go down, but instead Little Cato is met with the sight of his dad and Quinn. Gary looks absolutely ecstatic while Quinn has her head in her hands, definitely hating how loud Gary has to be sometimes.

"Little Cato!" Gary shouts, noticing his son among the crowd.

Little Cato's face breaks out into a grin. "Dad!"

They both sprint towards each other, Gary stopping when they're close enough so that Little Cato can run into him. Their arms wrap around each other tightly, Little Cato resting his head on Gary's shoulder.

After a few moments, Gary pulls away and holds his boy by his shoulders, scanning him up and down. "Have you grown since the last time I saw you? You look taller."

Little Cato laughs. "It's been three days, so no. How'd it go?"

Gary wraps an arm around his shoulders, ruffling his hair. "We still haven't found it, but we got a much better lead."

The bar has been silently watching this interaction the entire time, in awe of the Gary Goodspeed, but finally someone speaks up, and it just so happens to be Harrison.

"Oh my god, you are so much cooler in person," he says in complete awe.

"Dad, this is Harrison," Little Cato introduces, walking over to the teen so that they can meet.

Gary smiles and holds out his hand for him to shake. "Gary, nice to meet you. So, bud, you made a new friend?"

Little Cato smiles tightly, knowing that Gary means well. "Yeah, new friend."

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said he was badass," Harrison laughs, still kind of in shock over Gary's presence. "Are all of your battle stories really true?"

"Oh, yeah. Every single one," Gary responds. "I'd love to keep talking, but we actually gotta go, Spidercat. Nice to meet you, though! I'll be outside, bud."

"Okay, see you there." Little Cato turns to Harrison who is still floored and starstruck. "What, would you rather date my dad than me?" he jokes.

Harrison laughs, shaking himself out of his trance. "As much as I'd love to, I think you're much more cute."

Little Cato blushes, laughing quietly at the compliment. "I'll text you so we can meet up before I go. I don't know when it'll be, but we bounce around a lot. So, uh, bye!"

"See ya!"

Ash and Fox trail out after Little Cato, both giving him smug looks. He folds his ears flat against his head in embarrassment, and he shushes them.

"You better let me be your wingman for the first date," Fox says, a giant and giddy smile on his face.

"And I am definitely helping you pick out what to wear!" Ash pipes in.

Little Cato shakes his head. "You guys need to be quiet about this, okay? I don't want Gary to know."

The siblings deflate immediately, frowns on their faces. "You still haven't told him?" Ash asks.

He shakes his head, crossing his arms against his chest.

Fox places a hand on his shoulder. "You need to have a talk with your dad. Like, yesterday. He needs to know."

"I know, but...ugh, I'm just nervous, okay?" Little Cato huffs, deeply-ingrained frustration seeping into his voice.

Ash and Fox share a look over his head, making Little Cato regret allowing them to encourage him to talk to Harrison. Both of his friends stop him before be can exit the bar and kill the conversation.

"Why are you nervous?" Ash asks kindly.

He shrugs. "What if he gets mad?"

"Gary isn't like that, and you know it," insists Fox.

"Yeah, but," Little Cato sighs heavily. "What if he's like that with me? Like, only me being...you know, is what bothers him? I don't wanna lose him, too."

He feels a hand slap him, not lightly, and he looks up at Ash in betrayal. She's glaring, pointing a serious finger at him. Fox next to her has his hands on his hips, the same expression on his face.

"You, mister, are going to tell Gary that you're gay," Ash orders. "And you are not allowed to go on a date with that very cute boy until you do it."

"Yeah, Little Cato. Gary could never hate you, especially because of something like this."

Little Cato's shoulders slump, knowing that his friends are right, and that he won't get out of doing this even if it hadn't been something he has wanted to do for a long time. He gives them a nervous smile and pushes through them to get to Gary and Quinn outside.

"Hey, Quinn," he says, greeting her with a hug.

"Hi, Little Cato. You didn't burn down the house while we were gone, did you?" she jokes.

He rolls his eyes. "Of course not."

"Well, let's head home and chill, then we can fill you in on everything. That sound good, kiddo?" Gary asks, ruffling his hair again.

Little Cato nods and smiles, hiding his shaking hands in his pockets, hoping that Gary can't see through him right now.

----

Whenever Gary is gone for a few days and then comes back, Little Cato is always attached to him at the hip because he missed him. And Little Cato is doing that again, because he definitely did miss his dad, but this time is much more awkward. And nerve-wracking.

They got home, talked shop, and then went to bed because the adults were tired. Little Cato sat in his bed all night trying to come up with a plan, but nothing came to mind. So, he texted Harrison. Which made things even worse because damn it, he really likes him.

A lot. An excessive amount of like. He's a fan of all of the things Little Cato likes, and he's really funny.

Oh fuck, he's in deep now.

So now, the Ventrexian is eating breakfast next to his dad, glancing between him and his pancakes. He's still trying to come up with a way to say what he needs to say, but still nothing. This is going to be a disaster if he doesn't get it right.

"Hey, bud. Do you wanna go fix up your bike after breakfast?" Gary asks.

"Yeah, sounds good," Little Cato says, stuffing his face with pancake to avoid further conversation.

Little Cato notices that Gary is wearing the hoodie he got custom-made for his birthday that says Thunder-Bandit on it in a funky font, and that just sets his nerves off even more. His dad absolutely loves that hoodie, and he doesn't want to ruin this relationship if he messes this up.

Okay, now he's about to panic. Focus on the pancakes, not every single way this coming out could go wrong.

They both finish at the same time, so Gary takes their plates and puts them in the sink. Together, they walk to the garage and open the door to get some natural light in. Gary gets the tools as Little Cato drags his out of commission hovercyle out from the depths of the garage. This thing has been broken for a while, but he's just been borrowing Gary's whenever he wants to ride it since they've been too busy to fix it.

Gary opens the hood, staring down at the engine inside to see what the problem is. He starts working on it by himself, and Little Cato sits down, content to watch for now because it gives him time to think.

After a few minutes of dead silence besides the sound of his dad working, Little Cato can't take it anymore. He's biting the bullet. He can do this. He can tell him.

He stands, his tail twitching nervously. "Dad? Can we talk?"

Gary immediately stops. He stands up from his bent over position, wiping his grease-covered hands on a rag.

"Yeah? What's up, Spidercat?" he questions, standing closer to his kid.

"I'm, uh...," Little Cato trails off, his throat going dry. He coughs awkwardly. "You see, I wanted to, ummm, tell you. Something."

Gary nods encouragingly, an inviting smile on his face. Little Cato's heart is beating so fast that he's worried it'll burst out of his chest in a moment. Why is this so terrifying?!

"So, I–," his voice cracks as his hands begin shaking. The kid starts playing with his fingers, trying to calm down.

His dad, always patient when it comes to him, places a hand on his shoulder. Little Cato's eyes start welling up with tears, feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

"I'm gay," he blurts, and he presses his mouth into a thin line. He shuts his eyes, waiting in anticipation for anything.

"That's awesome, bud!"

What?

Little Cato opens his eyes to see his dad smiling brightly, a fond look in his eyes. He doesn't look upset.

"Really?" Little Cato breathes.

"Of course. I'll always love you, no matter what. Thank you for telling me, kiddo," Gary says, nothing but pure adoration in his voice.

Little Cato laughs, and he quickly wraps his arms around Gary's torso, squishing his face into his dad's chest even though he's a bit too tall to do it comfortably anymore. The man hugs back, one of his hands carding through the fur on the back of his head. Little Cato feels him plant a kiss to his forehead, and the teen smiles happily.

They break apart, and Gary looks so proud. It makes Little Cato feel warm.

"So, um, can I go on a date?"

Gary smirks. "Harrison?"

Little Cato's mouth falls open. "How did you know?"

His dad laughs. "Dad powers. Now, let's work on this baby here so that you can take him out in style."

"Yeah, that sounds great," Little Cato says, joining in on the work.

As they work, Little Cato gushes on and on about what Harrison is like as his dad listens intently, and everything feels right again.

[laulink]

Please consider : Monochrome Aladdin!AU

- Blake is Aladdin

- Weiss is Jasmine

- Zwei is still a dog and takes the place of Jasmine's tiger

- Mama Schnee is the Sultan

- Jackass is Jafar (even their names are similar)

- Sun is the genie (and absolutely wants to be Blake's friend and hook her up with the pretty princess)

Winter used to be the heir to the throne, but when Jackass rose to the place of vizier she knew he'd try to force her to marry him so he could become the next ruler (Mama Schnee is not an option because if she dies the crown goes to her daughter, not her spouse). Because of that, Winter devised a plan with her girlfriend Yang so she could marry her in secret and make it impossible for Jacques to access the throne through her. When that was done, Jackass did everything he could to make her renounce her position so they struck a deal : Winter would give up her rights to the throne if he let her stay in the palace as commander of the royal guard. He agrees because he doesn't really have a choice and Winter gets to work every day with her wife, also a guard, and still sees her sister and little brother. Weiss and her are trying to find a way to expose Jacques so he can't force Weiss to marry his ugly ass.

Anyway in the middle of this comes Blake. She's a common thief, used to date Adam who also grew up on the street, but left him when he joined a group of violent and murderous bandits. Since then it's just been her and occasionally Ruby and Penny, too super nice girls who have been helping her however they can with food or new clothes or taking care of her when she's hurt. In exchange, Blake helps Ruby "find" the pieces she needs to keep Penny's prosthetics in a functional state. They can't be seen together too often though because Ruby's sister is a guard and she might get in trouble if people learn her family is helping a thief.

So yeah, Blake is on her own most of the time until the day she meets the most beautiful girl ever in the market. She doesn't know her name, but she's captivated by those beautiful blue eyes... Then the veil covering her hair fell and Blake recognised the silver strands. She understands that the love of her life is the Princess and assumes that she stands no chance.

Later that day, an old friend of hers, Ilia, comes to offer her a job. Someone wants a lamp from the treasure of the White Fang, the group of thieves Adam had joined. If Blake brought the lamp back for the client to take, she could keep whatever else she'd find in the cave where the treasure was hidden. The job was incredibly dangerous, for the slightest misstep could get her killed, but it was Blake's only chance to ever leave the streets, so she took it.

That night, Blake found the cave, opened it and retrieved the lamp from within. Cleaning it up a little to see the gold shine, she was surprised by smoke coming out of it and taking the shape of a monkey faunus. He called himself Sun and told her she had three wishes.

I haven't seen the movie in... 15 years I think so I don't remember what happens next, but here's the basics at least. And, of course, at the end, Jackass is sent to prison for the rest of his life, Mama Schnee realises he was awful and apologises to Weiss and Winter for not believing them and Blake and Weiss can finally start dating like normal people and the story ends on the two kissing.

Fin~