#balance in all things etc. etc. 😊

[breadsandwiches]

Wanted to share my tdp playlists bc i honestly like how they turned out! 💃

Some of these were recommended by dragonprinceofficial! (a, c, v, s)

(Very in depth and thought provoking comments about my fave songs under the cut >>>)

AARAVOS

Time, Stars, Universe Pretty ethereal star god vibes

Play with Fire Whatever his beef with the Sunfire peeps, im enjoying it and am glad he is too. slay queen (literally)

Dishonored 2 Main Theme creepy ominous spider-spinning-its-web vibes ok?

Inside the Cage Listen to sexy mental breakdown song.

In the Palace ~ Agitato Creepy fucked up butterfly beast. For context watch HxH, its fun!!! 😀 (< dead inside) Also soundtrack for Aaravos losing his mind in prison and making his puppets dance till their feet bleed! 😍

Adore Adore The story can change at the roll of a dice babeyy 😎 no fr the lyrics are fire

Throne Wrath and violence on planat earth

Nosk Spider-pulling-in-its-prey vibes. Callum wyd 👁👁

Dark Matter The drama.. the vibes.. "bring me your soul bring me your ~HATE~" *insert elmo fire gif*

Black Train/End Credits ~piano~ Also death etc. etc. idek. damn should this be on viren or claudia's playlist instead? 🤔

CLAUDIA

Restless Year I always imagine her dancing or playing the bass to this. Also this song was literally written about her /lie

W.I.T.C.H. We all know this would be on her playlist in a modern au.

My Zero It's fine, she's just gradually losing grip of her family and also herself, she's losing her beginnings 😀👍 ok

Selfless "You're mucking off, but I will live for you, my selfless love". Screaming crying throwing up etc.

Fireflies Nothing to say here except that it's perfect.

A Victory of Love Objectively a bop. Songs that make me Ascend™

Galaxies Honestly im just rlly invested in the modern au where she's a bassist in a cool band and this is one of the songs theyd be playing. but also the lyrics kinda fit

Spanish Sahara She can have a little vengeance as a treat. Also trauma <3

Young and Tragic sad :( baby magefam feels :((

VIREN

The Unquiet Grave he's a corpse 👍

Werewolf Heart Thinking about Harrow, thinking about Lissa maybe. also those wolves and screams?? sir... 🧍‍♂️ Also sexy bass. what more do you want.

Mohammed Most sexy guitar ive ever heard ever im not joking. leave me alone

LA PAURA DEL BUIO lyrics fit pretty well. also this playlist has a criminal lack of angry rock songs

Fight Like Gods Lyrics and such

Way down We Go idk how to describe it without saying the word sexy again :/

The Sun Pretty 😳

Sleep Oughg (< relates a bit too much)

Ashes to Ashes idk man, its just pretty. like Viren <3 <3 <3

Into Dust damn ok tdpo

SOREN

Beautiful Day idk this just has Soren all over to me. the early sunrise wake up feeling, the hopeful optimism idk man

Uptown Funk Originally wasn't putting this in but it is Sooo S1-2 Soren. Also this

Back Against The Wall A+ rec from tdpo

Ode To The Mets I am so normal about this song so normal i listen to it a regular amount haha *insert one of those feral stick figures with blood all over*

Run Magefam feels 💃

Edge of Darkness Next on Songs that make me Ascend™. "I've got love in my heart for an army apart" :(

Fill Your Heart This is one of my fave songs ever its so joyful i love it and I love Soren

Obstacles This song is already Not Ok on its own, but combined with the Soren-Claudia feels it's an atrocity 👍 Songs for floating away on a river never to return

What's Up Ya boy might not always be the brightest but he's definitely the more emotionally intelligent one also i love him so much hhskvhvhhvhvhbv

[rocknpebbles]

Can we the rest of the Strawhats in the Swap AU you did? Please!

BTW you're art is absolutely SUPER! Always brings a smile to my face. 😊

THBAK YOU SOMJUCH GAHHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️❤️❤️❤️❤️💯💯💯🔥🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

HI JUST A QUICK NOTE I’ve been rlly extremely tired all week so I just quickly rlly fast whipped up some symmetrical headshot doodles 🙏🙏

uhghahhhhh but YES HERES basically the idea of what I was going for for the swap au (did not add brook/jinbei I love them but im extremely tired sorry!💔)

so yeah zoro, usopp, franky, and sanji are the first four to join

zoro looks like a strawberry 😭😭😭😭

then it’s chopper nami luffy and robin

⬇️ some rambling

for some of these they looked more like gender swaps then personality swaps so I tried switching it up a bit, originally luffy had long hair but I chopped it off n gave robin some hair dye bc I just didn’t want it looking like a genderswap

also idk if I’m making chopper a smoker but I originally intended for that to be a lollipop in his mouth

NOW AS FAR AS CHOPPER AS SANJI THROW TOMATOES ALL U WANT BUT I AM NOT MAKING HIM A PERVERT it does NOT SIT RIGHT 😕😕😕😕 I did wanna keep the “never fight a woman” thing but as far as being perverted I replaced it with uhh I guess what pretimeskip sanji kinda had, “over the top chivalry” and maybe some extra added machoness to balance the flaw ??? Bear with me I’m making it up as I go

AS FAR AS AGES AND BACKSTORIES AND STUFF ITS UP TO YOU I just had them with their respective personality’s backstory like usopp loses kuina (or whoever she’s swapped with), sanji grows in a village, franky is under Arlongs (or whoever he’s swapped with) rule etc but it’s fun to think about the latter.

I tried swapping strong contrasting personalities 🥶

BUT YEAH IF THERES ANY QUESTIONS ASK BUT THATS THE SWAP STRAWHATS!!! TYSM FOR ASKNG ‼️‼️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[thehighpriestexx420]

Their True Self's Feelings VS. Their Ego's Feelings About You

General Collective Pick-A-Gif Tarot Reading

Our True Self is the version of us WITHOUT the programming society has instilled in us and/or the programming our physical body came with. It's your soul, your spirit, your higher self. My experience with my true self can only be described as what feels right.

The Ego can be used as a tool for your true self to use or you can fall under the automatic habits it provides. It's our mind. The brain filter that allows us to perceive reality - more commonly the reality that's physical.

My intention was to pull cards into 2 columns. One to represent their true feelings and the other to represent their ego's. I've found that the message worked when I looked at all of the cards together. If you can discern the cards can be read the way I intended with your specific situation, feel free to let me know!

Take a moment to yourself. Step back from any distractions on the outside & within your mind. Take a clearing breath. Focus your attention within yourself & what you sense. Which gif calls out to you? If it's more than one, than there are multiple messages for you.

Take what resonates and leave the rest. Be aware that the future is malleable - you can choose to follow your true self or any toxic programming you've picked up. The results will follow.

💖 New followers & those who reblog the linked post below 👇 get a FREE one question tarot reading & reiki healing session. Paid services are same hour, first come first serve, & guaranteed between 8 am - 9pm 💖

✌️ Tips are also always appreciated! Help me continue helping you by providing me with funds to purchase new decks & stuff that keeps me alive 😊 Cashapp: $coltonicholas ✌️

Pile One :

Their soul is calling them to approach you & express their romantic interest. However, there's something that happened between you that's caused them to stop & truly think about this decision.

They're trying to discern how they can balance their self-love & their love for others. They don't want to get hurt again but they also don't want to miss out on their desired connection with you.

The Universe is telling them the time to approach you is now & that they're extremely supported in this. In fact, this is a part of both of your life's purpose. It's destiny. Every aspect of existence is weaving the path to make this happen.

But they're currently being held back and stalling due to doubt & the fear of hoping just to be hurt & disappointed again. As in, they feel this desire of theirs is too good to be true. Their non-action is out of fear & self-preservation.

Pile Two :

They're not seeing the results they're looking for in this connection. There's impatience. They're looking for answers outside themself rather than within.

You may be dating & haven't made things official yet. They're questioning if you're as invested in this connection as they are because of this. They could be feeling the strong desire to marry you, and yet, aren't seeing these results.

They may be overly focused on the material/physical & not enough on what their soul is saying. They want a successful home life with you while not feeling at home within themself. They cope with this feeling by indulging in distractions. Propping their ego up, shopping, bragging, etc.

They need to be more calm, nurturing, & patient. They feel the need to rush ahead while not considering others enough.

They're overly concerned with others' opinions. They want to be able to say that you're theirs & not fear people questioning the validity of your connection. It's the vibe where people have been in years long engagements. There's often doubt from others and within the connection. "Are they not sure if they want to get married, is it going to happen, etc."

Pile Three :

They're being held back by confusion, the pressure to conform, & structure. It's like they're lost in a land of illusion. They're unable to move on due to this belief they must uphold these rigid rules.

"If it's not broke, don't fix it" is a saying that comes to mind when describing this person's mindset.

They don't want to adventure outside of these old habitual ways of thinking. The unknown is unstable & unpredictable.

Despite this, their soul is desiring a union with you & they feel it - the urge to reach out. Their ego is blocking them from seeing a way forward with you.

For some of you, they want to propose but something is leading them to believe it's not possible. There's a clashing - 2 opposing forces that "shouldn't" go together. So this can look like having a religion where you're "supposed" to be with a member of the same religion, a family disapproving of same sex marriage, or some other value/belief that doesn't approve of your marriage/union.

They've had unhealthy examples of relationships growing up so this also distorts how relationships are "supposed" to look like to them. There's some kind of codependency between you two. Like you're both chained to these toxic belief systems. Change your mentor/who you look up to & set yourself free.

Pile Four :

There's this idea - this hidden gem in their heart. I'm seeing that they need some time away from the distractions of the world so that they can look inside themselves to see what this bright, burning, blossoming passion really is before they offer it to you.

They're scared of things not working out because they haven't seen any indicators it would. Their heart is closed off & as a consequence it blocks them from receiving what they desire. That includes the positive interactions from you that they're looking for.

But I'm seeing that this beginning between you is bright, beautiful, & promising. You both can try to hide what you're feeling, but it's too powerful to be ignored anyway.

I'm seeing that you both share a heart/the same feelings. This connection is within your core. It's designed to free you, reveal your true self, heal you, & to assist you with growth. For some of you, this is your divine counterpart/twin flame. For others, it's a strong soulmate connection.

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/765691014325452800/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7656128619764121

Hi Rain!

So here is how I see it (mostly my subjective speculations of course)

BSH had this troublemaker free spirit in his hands. On one hand, he knew what a huge and unique potential Tae had (as visual, character, artistry etc) so he couldn’t leave him out. But on the other hand, he knew that Tae would be the hardest to control. So what to do? He made sure to control him through the people Tae cares (his bandmates), treat him as an afterthought to beat his self confidence, make him feel like he is not needed but try to use him for your gain with the amount you want and all that manipulate games…

Tae shouldn’t be too front to shadow others but also intriguing enough to draw new audiences (it is well known and accepted that DNA was the breakthrough, a first step to worldwide success and guess who mostly caught new audiences eyes first?) so Tae has been a double edged sword since the beginning. His unique qualities and free spirit is what draw the audience but also make him difficult to control. Do you remember Tae’s birthday live when he was spoiling his songs and when staff reacted to that he said "what can company do? Fire me?" That was the self confidence that BSH was afraid of but well… :)

Imo, at the beginning, other guys tried to keep him under control but then they also (probably) realized all those control attempts were suffocating Tae and they were losing him anyway (hence his leaving attempts in 2018 and sugar’s letter to him and jk). I always think that Suga (especially) kept saying either 7 or 0 for the fans but also a message to company that they are all or nothing. Especially things changed when JK clearly stand on his side, imo, that changed the balance a LOT.

Once they (or most of them) backed him, BSH didn’t have much in his hands but manipulate him from outside… And because of his very good communication skils, that also didn’t work that well, imo. Because I remember many instances that can ended any idol’s career didn’t work on Tae at all (his smoking pictures, friend zoning fans from the get go, that airport scene when he reacted to stalker and lastly suing that woman with JK etc etc) He was seen as a disobedient rebel all along anyway, so in a way, this image saved him and bite BSH in the ass.

And Tae has been very smart in solo period, creating his own connections, making friends with important people in SK entertainment business as well as international brands (I think he didn’t have enough time to work on international part but I am sure he will after ms) he focused on entertainment shows to present himself directly to the audience as Kim Taehyung and it mostly worked. He is in the military and still on the news. And this Hybe situation is a mess and I know there is a manipulation operation on him to make him the bad guy but I don’t think it works. Any sane person can see that he has been a victim of the company and he stood his ground grounds.

Hi anon!

Sorry for having you wait for a reply for a couple of days (weird week, I wasn’t in the right headspace.. I’m fine now 😊). I’m gonna leave your thoughts here and just add my own, I think we find some overlap there.

I feel Bang Pd is a selfish and quite possibly an actual narcissistic person (though ofcourse it’s hard to diagnose). The way he inserts himself in footage, the way he uses members achievements to prop up himself, the abuse I think his artists go through. I think he’s ruthless. What you often see with narcissists, is how they will hate someone who takes away their sense of importance. I think, by Tae being Tae even at a young age, that’s what happened. I think Tae’s freespiritness and the way he carried him and just attracts attention might’ve irked Bang Pd early on. Him not having known Tae’s name for a year, to me feels like he wanted to make Tae feel small. The decision to have him be a hidden member, also made Tae feel small. I think he listened to his advisors and knew from a business perspective Tae is valuable, but he needed to mold him into someone he could just use. He probably wasn’t open about it, and he was probably even able to argue why he needed things to be the way they were, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see some personal dislike there at all. It’s total speculation from my side, but I think Tae played to Bang Pd’s insecurities just by being himself… and that’s why Tae never got the full spotlight. It can’t be his lack of talent, it can’t be his personality, it can’t be his working ethics.. so yeah.. I’m putting my money on it being unfair.

Now I think all members have had their own issues that they had to deal with. The music industry is an environment that I think causes hurt in many different ways (body image issues, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, mental abuse, physical abuse, forced substance abuse, lack of medical care, homophobia, closeting, forced plastic surgery, and the list goes on and on). I’m not saying all members went to any of these things, but I also think it’s naive to think only Tae has suffered from the hands of the company… and I just wanted to shine a light on that as well. We don’t know what goes on behind doors and we cannot know all the different waya the members have suffered. We ofcourse focus on Tae and Jk, but Tae and Jk are just a part of BTS and it’s absolutely realistic in my eyes that they as a band had to have all of their backs at some point. I think for instance that a lot of Jk’s care and concern towards Jm comes from Jk knowing when Jm has it tough (a different kind of tough, but tough nonetheless). I think they all know how tough Namjoon had it and they made attempts to, if only momentarily, lighten the load for him. I do think at one point they decided it’s 7 or nothing.. and imo that moment was probably heightened at the 2018 talks. I don’t think it was just Tae and Jk who were considering leaving, but probably several of them on different levels of seriousness. I do think there was a whole different level of concern and doubt present with Tae and Jk. For them signing on again meant having to keep hiding for the length of their new contract. That’s not an easy thing to sign on for, but them loving what they do (performing) and wanting a long career, knowing the other members have their backs must’ve made up their minds for them.

I’ve seen discussion on the other members having let the company abuse and neglect Tae, and I was saddened by that. Because, it goes against what Tae himself does. He signed on again for the members. I think that statement to some maybe doesn’t carry the weight it should. Imo it doesn’t mean that Tae signed on because he felt he owed it to them. Had he not genuinely felt they have his back and has he himself felt they leave him at the mercy of the company.. he would have left them. Because even though he has no say in some things, I do believe the power to resign lies with him and I think him capable of making good decisions for himself. I think the members make Tae feel like it’s worth it. I think they build him up, they comfort him, they value him, they make him feel like he belongs. That’s what they all do for each other.

As to Tae and Jk, I think most likely they suffered in equal but different ways. Not only would they be affected by what the other goes through, but both of them have had to hide and do things to keep hidden. Both of them have felt the same pressure and, though in different ways, Jk has also been used by the company. We talk about Tae being a free spirit, but I think Jk is also one. Jk isn’t able to fully Jk as much as Tae isn’t able to fully Tae. Jk’s music might’ve been pushed by the company in ways that Tae will never be, but his achievements have been taken and used for Bang Pd’s benefit. They talk about him as if he’s their creation. Jk’s insecurities about why people love him, don’t just come from nowhere. He’s been made to believe he has to fit a mold. I think the members all flocked around them, because they actually know and love them both and because they recognize (all of them, because they themselves are in it too) how wrong the company is.

I think the company’s main goal and interest lies in BTS as a group. I think these solo projects have been hugely used to keep fandom interest up (as has Taennie, as has Ays) and they fully want to collect every last drop of money they can before BTS goes on hiatus or whatever form they take on after reunion. They probably already suspect which members will sign on individually and which won’t.. which might explain the different levels of company push.

I probably went all kind of ways here (always fun to see my adhd reflected in my writing 🙈). There’s so much more to say, because it’s not a simple situation at all. There’s probably things at play none of us can even imagine.

[ddwcaph-game]

New MC Heritage Options

Hello everyone! So I’ve received several suggestions to include additional heritage options for MC, especially for the supernatural genre. I was planning on expanding your genre/heritage choice in later volumes as MC discovers more about their story world, but I figured it might be a better idea to establish that earlier in the prologue instead.

And then I thought, what if the fantasy heritage options were a universal choice instead of being limited to fantasy?

So, all genres will now allow you to select MC’s Heritage:

• Human Heritage • Elven Heritage • Orcish Heritage • Dwarven Heritage • Halfling Heritage • Gnomish Heritage • Goblin Heritage • Draconic Heritage • Fae Heritage

In addition, some genres will allow you to select a more specific origin on top of MC’s heritage:

Sci-Fi:

Extra-Galactic Adaptability: Will now allow MC to be a more proper alien by letting you select which attribute to specialize in (Vigor/Grace/Knowledge/Charm). The choice that increases Vigor will now mention MC having tougher skin, for example.

Mythology:

• Divine Ancestry • Nephilim Ancestry • Cambion Ancestry

Supernatural:

• Werewolf Ancestry • Vampiric Ancestry • Nephilim Ancestry • Cambion Ancestry • Enchanter Ancestry

Additional Notes:

The [Fae Heritage] will be the catch-all for most other fantasy beings, so you can headcanon whatever creature is your MC’s heritage.

The [Divine Ancestry] option for Mythology is the same as the current one. But now MC can have nephilim/cambion ancestry instead of being a demigod.

I think I’ll stick with werewolves as the only shifter option, as they’re the most popular. If I ever decide to add more options, they’ll have to be canines, but don’t quote me on that.

I went with “enchanter” rather than witch/wizard/sorcerer/etc. as I think it’s the most fitting and neutral name for the option.

The [Divine Ancestry] and [Enchanter Ancestry] will also be the only available option for MCs with Fae or Draconic Heritage if you choose Mythology or Supernatural. Otherwise, we’ll end up with dragon werewolves. While that sounds cool, it’s a little too much for me, even with the plot hole excuse.

Genre passives will now also grant you Bonus EXP when you are in a story world/setting of the same genre. Since the Adventure genre has a lot of overlap, the bonus EXP will be active whenever you have the [Adrenaline Rush] Status Effect instead.

I’ll have to rewrite the prologue a bit, but this will make the (previously) fantasy-exclusive flavor text and special interactions become more worthwhile to write.

There won’t be any exclusive heritage scenes until you arrive in MC’s story world, so the additional workload should be minimal. Plus, you can now have elf detectives, orc superheroes, halfling werewolves, or dwarves in space! 😄 Fantasy has always been the most popular genre, so this should also help in balancing things out a bit.

Nothing’s concrete for now, but I’ll definitely have to adjust the bonus stats and effects. Please let me know your thoughts! 😊

[spicybylerpolls]

by filling out i think finn is just eating better and taking care of himself. he mentioned his eating habits on that off menu podcast and how he basically just used to eat like candy and mcdonalds and stuff till he was like 16. and his GB cineworld interview choice for the food to eat in the cinema was so adorable, he was listing the food groups each snack would come under to get a balanced diet (as much as you can at the movie theatre lol).

if you start to eat better nutrition you end up healthier and more rounded in your body i think, so he's still got that bone structure but all round is just glowing more. i like to chalk this up to many things but nutrition definitely helps with this for sure. perhaps he's been working out too, but even just getting a balanced diet would help him 'fill out'. i dont believe he was starving himself or had anorexia as people publicly accused him of (people are shits), but rather just getting that nutrition instead of living on fast food or no veg etc will make you more all-round healthy. and he's looking that atm!

love to see it. mental health and happiness also contributes to good physical health so maybe he's settling into himself, finding a balance in many ways in life 😊

We stan a healthy, radiant, and happier king!

[kirbsmakemesmile]

I finally finished my Kirby gijinkaverse lore 😧

Remember, if you ask one question about the lore stuff after reading it all, I will draw one doodle of one character of your choice 😊😊😊

Send the questions through my ask box and your character request through my dms please!!!

Ok! Here we go! 😊😊 (please dont mind any typos)

Slight Tw: some described g0re, and implied plans of sui during one part

Ok let’s do this ok guys

Origins of Nightmare:

Nightmare was the original dark matter, and was always around because of peoples bad dreams. The thing is, they never fueled his growth because the fountain of dreams and the star rod was what kept him from becoming a huge threat. But, as generations had passed, the fountain of dreams became less of an important protective device, and more of a relic or a roadside attraction, to put it bluntly. The people had lost the knowledge of its meaning and didn’t value their peace anymore and they took it for granted, not even really acknowledging how good they had it. Anyway, a long time passed and nightmare is a puny threat to everyone, and he’s tired of it, so with what little power he’s saved up from aaallll that time saving up on bad dreams, he makes his move. He goes to popstar and shatters the star rod completely. And since the people didn’t acknowledge the importance of the star rod anymore, he went by basically unnoticed the whole time, and this began the start of chaos across the universe. Since nightmare grew to such a ginormous threat after the destruction of the star rod, the people figured they needed something big to defeat him too, and they created the GSA (Galaxy Soldier Army) and the star rod finally became a completely forgotten weapon.

Star rod and star people :

Nightmare became very successful in his plan to take over the universe at first, but because the star people (Kirby, Mk, etc.) were directly connected to the star rod (meaning they wish through the star rod, and so genetically they are connected) This is what made them a difficult species for nightmare to defeat because of the sheer power they had. (Unlike other species that would just wish on any shooting star and not the star rod) But the destruction of the star rod also had an effect on that too. The star rod allowed for wishing to be a very safe and reliable process, being able to wish any planet, any location, anytime.But without the star rod, you were not guaranteed this kind of safety, and now the children could be in danger during that process, sometimes even accidentally making wishes Wishing is a force of nature so the wish isn’t granted by a certain being, it just happens, the star rod kept that force in balance so without star rod it’s out of balance now. The wishing system is super screwed up so any large amount of emotion being said out loud could cause a wish. And the only reason why the babies of the star people were still being born with such power was because their parents still contained that star rod gene in them, so it still passed on through the wishing process. So in order for Nightmare to win, he had to destroy this species from the inside out.

Creation of Meta Knight:

Nightmares target became the firstborn child to the heads of the GSA (Sir Arthur and Lydia). So after the wish was made and the star had fallen to the ground, he made his move. He kidnapped the baby and took him to be experimented on. He turned him into a tracking device/ ambush plan, and gave him powerful, unnatural features that no other star person had. Nightmare later returned the baby to his parents, to be raised until the time was right for his plan to begin. He was raised along with three other siblings and was treated as a normal part of the family, so he never felt out of place. This was exactly what nightmare wanted

Nightmare’s plan:

At 25, Meta knight learned his true identity, through a vision from nightmare. He learned that he was a pawn to be used for nightmare’s efforts, and would be the downfall of the GSA. After finding out the truth, meta knight left the base feeling that he would be a disgrace to the GSA, and also out of fear that staying any longer would facilitate nightmare even more. However, this only opened the door. After he left, Nightmare took the opportunity to ambush the head GSA base and completely destroy it, as well as sending more beasts to meta knight after he had left to force him to return again in seek of refuge. Upon returning he saw that the base was completely destroyed and by leaving, he allowed that to happen (nightmare knew that if he didn’t leave, the ambush would be unsuccessful because the experiments he did on him made him a very skilled fighter, and nightmare needed that for his own gain, but against him he would not win). His family was nowhere to be found and neither were the other soldiers. So in this moment, nightmare physically appeared to him and tried to convince meta knight to join him. But after he refused, he took his eyes… (I’m sorry I don’t know how to describe it but he left him like severely injured like he actually ripped through his face and he was like horribly like lacerated on his face it was really bad and he was blinded like permanently).

Meta knight’s recovery:

He was left there for a while and he would’ve died, if he wasn’t found by two warriors (Jecra and Garlude) that came looking for others after surviving the ambush attack. They had their kids (Joe and Sirica) with them and were preparing things to to leave the planet with anyone they found. When they found him, they carried him into the ship and headed to one of the only peaceful planets left in the universe, Popstar. There, they cared for his wounds and helped him heal from actually being horribly ripped up and yeah.

Evil moment before warp saves him:

(Tw: implied plans of suicide in this part) After Meta knight was mostly recovered, he could only really see light, shadows, and vague shapes. His wounds had started the healing process and he was able to move around, so he left to the very edge of the woods, and he stayed there all day waiting until night. He contemplated the many things he had lost, his family was gone, his health and his vision had deteriorated, and the only life he had ever known turned out to be a lie. He went there in a bad mental state and didn’t think things could get better, so he planned to try and you know… yeah. After standing there for so long he broke down and he started like actually losing is like yelling like you are loud dude… basically just pouring out his heart in that moment of like sadness and confusion and wanting something to change the course of his life.

Warp star and star rod:

Now before I get back to the story I need to explain a little about warp. Warp star is a sentient being like galaxia, and she is also dually the star rod. After being broken, she had to be regenerated again because it’s just a law of nature, she exists with the universe no matter what, so she will always come back even if it’s in a different form. In order for her to be reborn though, she had to heal, and this process took years and years of regeneration. And for her to even be born, she had to choose a star person to be born with and to be her guardian for life, Kirby. This meant they both would rely on each other for power in the beginning stages of life (like how some sharks are born with a yolk sac, both rely on each other to an extent the shark needs food and the sac needs blood flow ☝️🤓). Anyways, Kirby and warp would be born together and that made Kirby her guardian, she is his galaxia.

Kirby:

Okay so remember how I said the wishing system was screwed up because warp wasn’t there to keep it in balance YOULL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENS 😧😧 When Meta knight started pouring out his heart, it was read as a wish, and so Kirby was sent down to him, and he accidentally made a wish.😧 Kirby was born with warp star in his hands and they relied on each other as a source of power. So meta knight found the fallen star and realized exactly what had happened.

Post wish stuff:

After hearing him out in the forest, Jecra and Garlude were able to find him and Kirby and took them back home to be taken care of. They helped him raise Kirby in the beginning stages, and helped fashion a visor to be put in his mask that allowed him to see light and shapes in a little higher definition, which helped him navigate better and see Kirby a little more.

First 5 years:

For the first 5 years in cappytown raising Kirby, things go very smoothly. Meta knight starts training with Kirby in order for him to get his agility and skill back, and hoping that Kirby may learn from him as well. He has learned about Kirby’s copy abilities, and has become a fully involved father in Kirby’s life. (He’s so devoted because while it seemed that this was another stumbling block in his life, it was exactly what he wished for in the sense that he wanted something to happen that would completely change the course of his life) Also in cappytown, Dedede has barely become king and is just now learning to handle the throne (this is important for later)

After 5 years:

After a long and peaceful 5 years living with his son in cappytown, Meta knight received a notice from the GSA notifying former soldiers and warriors that their presence was needed urgently for the next attempt to to defeat nightmare. They claimed that the GSA had made changes to its system to ensure a “safer” environment for people with kids and were convinced that this time they would win against nightmare. Feeling obligated, and also a little hopeful of maybe seeing his family again, he left with Kirby to help the cause.

The issue with the GSA:

After the ambush at the head base of the GSA it seemed that Sir Arthur and the rest of meta knights family had perished during the ambush, but it’s actually all the contrary. When the ambush happened they were able to escape using one of the ships, and they left to one of the only other peaceful planets in the universe, Ripplestar. But because meta knight had left before the ambush, they couldn’t find him, and assumed that he died during the attack as well. So why didn’t they come back to help this second time? Arthur’s leadership in the GSA prevented people from serving that had small children, or people that physically could not serve, and he just had a very good handle on the leadership in the GSA, because he knew that yes the cause was good, but soldiers are still people, not machines. He valued everyone and after the ambush he felt he had failed the GSA in the sense that some fault in his leadership allowed for the ambush to happen, so he resigned his position to take care of his family, and removed himself from the GSA entirely. So what’s the deal with the GSA now? This new system that made the GSA a “safer environment” was really all just propaganda to get as many people to fight for freedom in the universe. And while in theory yes it’s good, like let’s get people to fight for the good, they forgot the importance of valuing each soldier as a person, and they really only just needed numbers. So what they did for people with kids was, they created a ship that would send your kid into space for years, until the war was finally over. The kids would be in cryo sleep the entire time until their ship was programmed to land, and when they landed they would be granted the knowledge of what happened to their family/ parents.

2nd war:

When Meta knight arrived to serve in the 2nd war, he realized what would happen and had no other choice but to rely on the GSA’s technology to protect Kirby. The second way started out promising, but turned out to be the most unsuccessful attempt yet. By pushing their soldiers to the limit, they overworked them and it was just bad. That’s why there were so little survivors in the end.

Garlude:

Let me pose to you this situation okay, we have Garlude, and she is the best warrior okay (it literally says that in the anime) and we have another really good warrior, Meta knight, and they’re both gonna get this legendary sword okay. Logically Garlude would not lose, and she would get the sword right? At least that’s what everyone was thinking right. Anyways, when they get there, they start fighting this monster to get the sword and he gets caught and is about to die, but this gives Garlude an opportunity to grab Galaxia to retrieve it successfully, but through trying to get Galaxia, she finds out the sword was not meant for her, she gets shocked and realizes Galaxia was meant for him. Unfortunately she has no other choice but to grab the sword and use it to help meta knight, because he’s losing really bad. So she sacrifices herself by using the sword to free meta knight, and she’s electrocuted. While this didn’t kill her at first, it made her extremely weak, and vulnerable to the monster, ultimately leading to her demise. So when Meta knight, a great warrior but not the best, comes back with Galaxia but no Garlude, don’t you think rumors would start? I think it’s worth thinking about. This is how Sirica, got the wrong idea about meta knight, and how Nightmare continued reminding Meta knight of his purpose and how he would always be used against the GSA and the warriors no matter what. He was the cause of one of his closest friends’ death.

Jecra:

Jecra’s death was a statement from Nightmare to Meta knight, once again reminding him who he really was. Jecra was kidnapped during an attack by some of nightmares beasts, and he was turned evil by nightmare. Upon returning, meta knight realized exactly what had happened to him and it was like looking in a mirror, he saw what nightmare had planned for him, and desperately tried snapping Jecra out of it, but it didn’t work. Meta knight had no other choice but to go against Jecra in battle. This resulted in him having to kill his only other friend left. Once again making him the cause of his friends’ death. All of because nightmare never wanted him to forget his identity and purpose.

After the second war:

At the end of the second war, most of the warriors in the GSA had died and there were very few survivors, including Meta Knight. He escaped and once again headed to popstar to seek refuge. This is basically where the anime starts

KRBAY:

The show is basically what this time was like from Kirby’s point of view, he sees dedede and a scary tyrannical leader and the one that orders the monsters, and everything is very “kids show” through his eyes, which isn’t necessarily how it happened.

King dedede had been king for about 9 years, but his leadership has been questionable, but he was doing everything in his power to keep the peace the cappytown even if it meant doing things that were wrong. King dedede filtered what could and couldn’t be seen by the cappies, basically making them ignorant to the whole war that’s going on. I guess like all of this just to say that the show is like a very kid like depiction of what actually happened.

Kirby returns to popstar:

About a year after meta knight had returned to popstar after escaping, Kirby’s ship crash landed in cappy town. (during this year that meta knight spent in Cappytown by himself, he became very close with tiff, because she was interested in who he really was as a star warrior. She disagreed with King Dededes method of leading, and she actually wanted to know what was going on, so that’s why him and tiff are very close) The whole plot of the anime continues during this time, and since Meta knight had barely returned from such a traumatic war, he felt that he wasn’t capable of taking care of Kirby anymore and that’s why they’re not very close during the show at all.

Sirica:

Even though the show depicts Sirica coming after knuckle Joe, I do what I want and I say she arrived before Joe did. When she arrived we all know what happens we’ve seen the show, she thinks meta knight killed her mother which isn’t true and the show kind of brushes over it, that’s not what happened. After their conflict, he fully describes the story like he zones out and starts retelling everything like it happened and it’s kind of difficult to hear for everyone, but it gives Sirica the reassurance that her mother died a hero and for the greater good. She does not leave right after this, she stays in cappytown for a while, because I don’t think she would leave I think she wants to hear more about her mom and the only guy that knows a lot about her is Mk so it only makes sense.

Joe:

Similarly to Siricas conflict with meta knight, knuckle Joe comes to cappytown seeking the warrior who killed his father, we know how it goes we’ve seen it. And just like last time after their conflict, he fully retells the story, except this one is particularly more difficult for him to tell, because he actually did kill his father. Since nightmare made him one of his pawns and made him fully evil, meta knight had no other choice but to you know like… yeah. So after zoning out again and telling the story in full detail it’s very difficult for everyone to grasp, knuckle Joe does get the closure he needed, but the people (WHO DIDNT REALLY EVEN KNIW A WAR WAS GOING ON) hear that meta knight actually had a crazy war story and was a crazy fighter, and that’s how this persona of meta knight started being built up even more and people thought of him as like wow so fighter like he’s so noble and so cool. Basically treating him like a fictional character now instead of an actual dude.

Joe and Sirica:

After staying in cappytown for a while, learning about their parents and how they cared for injured soldiers, and were very noble people, they left into space to find survivors from the war, and other star warriors, to help with the final battle against nightmare that would be coming very soon.

KRBAY finale:

As the show nears its end, there’s a bit of foreshadowing that comes from meta knight, where he says Kirby will soon be going up against an even bigger foe, and the next episode starts the finale. That means he knew that Kirby would have to fight nightmare very soon, how did he know that?? Basically nightmare gave him a vision and this was like the worst thing nightmare had in store for him, in that vision he told meta knight that now Kirby would be going up against him whether he liked it or not, and he was going to take what was most important in his life, Kirby. (It’s not like super important to know this but I thought it was cool so i out it in) ANYWAYS, the finale starts and meta knight, sword, blade, Kirby, king dedede, and Tiff (she snuck on board) head into space to fight nightmare. They get there and yeah we all know what happens, and then they get surrounded by a bunch of nightmares ships. And that’s when they notice three of the ships actually helping them out. And then it’s like big reveal, it’s Joe, Sirica, and Sir Arthur and his family WHAAATTTT 😧😧😧 I THOUGHT THEY DIED (that’s his brain)

He kind of disassociates during the rest of this battle just because so much has happened and he knows what going to happen and it’s just a lot, which is why his reaction to seeing his family again is so like 😮 instead of actually freaking out. Ok let’s fast forward to the end okay.

Final battle with nightmare:

Finally we get to this final battle with nightmare, and in the show it depicts tiff being the one that gets taken by nightmare and Kirby goes after her, but I honestly think that it would just be a lot more meaningful if it was meta knight just because this final battle represents his fear of nightmare, controlling his life, and just always being around, so for the sake of this story, I’m changing it to that. Anyways, as Kirby is going after them to save meta knight, this is basically meta knights worst nightmare come true, and his fear is what is fueling nightmare at this very last battle to make him look much bigger and stronger. This is all kind of like a show to make the person fighting him think that they need a huge arsenal to defeat him, when in reality, all they need is the star rod. So at the end when Kirby reveals that he is the guardian of the star rod, that’s how he’s able to defeat nightmare. By using the only thing that could defeat him, he destroyed nightmare forever in an instant. In the show, nightmares defeat is only shown for a very small portion of the entire finale, which I think really drives the point home that nightmare was all show. He played this role of being a huge threat to hide the fact that he had such a big weakness.

Post nightmare’s defeat:

After successfully, defeating nightmare, and nightmare enterprises, everyone returned home safe, and meta knight and Kirby left Cappy town to go and see his family after all these years. They spent about six months visiting and came back to Cappytown after that.

Meta knights revenge:

After returning to Cappy town from visiting his family, he came back to a completely different town. While in many aspects, Cappytown had improved, for example, king dededes leadership, media, and education had improved. Many of the cappies continued to choose to be ingnorant to the efforts of the GSA and basically all the crazy war stuff that had happened. They treated star Warriors as fictional characters to put it bluntly, and didn’t value the freedom that they had even during the wars. One example I can give you of the Cappies ignorance to everything that was going on, is in one of the episodes where they collect little figures of some of the star warriors and soldiers, they collect these figures and don’t even know their actual names. (There was even a collectible of Jecra and like it’s kind of messed up like why are you making a marketable figure of a man that died???) It’s just very representative of how they view star warriors as a whole, just a collectible or a character. So when Meta knight had arrived to Cappy town, the people treated him like he was a celebrity and people fawned over him and made merchandise off of him and it was just really weird. This really irked him, and he kind of lost it, because a couple years ago when he lived there and he was going through things, nobody cared about him except tiff, but now since he’s a “hero” everyone loves him and idolizes him just because he lives in their town. So, his solution? IM GONNA TAKE OVER THIS ENTIRE PLACE AND IM GONNA MAKE THESE PEOPLE STOP BEING SO IGNORANT AND LAZY AND SEE WHAT I AND A BUNCH OF OTHER WARRIORS WENT THROUGH 🐺🐺🐺🐺 (this entire invasion is really just a manic episode, he completely loses it and it’s just all build up from all the crap he’s had to deal with from the cappies) During this time is when we really get to see the true power nightmare gave him though. Similarly to the evil frog thing from that one episode, he goes into this trance like state where all he can do is wreak havoc and he can’t recognize anyone he’s up against. So when Kirby goes to fight him, meta knight doesn’t recognize him, and that’s why he’s so brutal.

After meta knights revenge:

Afterwards, tiff finds him on shore and she is really disappointed. She and him end up talking things over and it’s end up okay but she realizes that he still has very serious issues to deal with. He gets fired from working for dedede, and gets a slap on the wrist but otherwise is fine (dedede didn’t want conflict so he chose this route to keep everyone happy) The people recognize that he’s also a person too, but still idolize him, and honestly this kind of raises his ego. (Until he gets humbled later) After all the games happen up until planet robobot, and that’s when it gets crazy 😧

Susie haltmann:

After being stuck in an alternate dimension since her childhood, Susie finally escapes when a rift is opened, and she finds herself on popstar. (That happens right as Magolor loses and vanishes to that dimension, they like switch spots) With no idea where she is, she steals a star ship from a garage of what seems to be some celebrity or something, idk they had a lot of cars and ships (you’ll never guess who METAKNIGHT OMG yeah) and she heads into space to find her father again. After finding haltmann works, she goes inside to see her father again after all these years, but he doesn’t remember her. Desperately she tries to make him remember, but nothing works. She ends up resorting to being a secretary, hoping maybe one day her father will recognize her again, and plotting to steal the machine that stole her father from her. She’s forced to work in a company she knows is corrupt, just to try to get her dad to remember her.

Planet Robobot:

After getting captured by someone as he entered haltmann works, Meta knight waited in a room for a representative to come talk to him, enter Susie Haltmann. Susie explains a new program called the “Mechanization program”, a new experimental initiative, which gave the person robotic armor that worked with the body to make them more efficient in fighting, and overall just an upgrade to an organic body. Two things to keep in mind though, one, Susie wasn’t really trying to do anything drastic, all she was trying to do was do something big enough in the company to impress her father so that maybe he would remember her, and two, Meta knight had recently (in previous games) been shown to be obsessed with improving his fighting skills, fighting on his own to prove his strength, and proving he’s the greatest warrior ever ( amazing mirror, meta knightmare ultra, etc.) so to him, this program sounded like free plastic surgery to hi so obviously he said yes. Before starting the mechanization process, he had to have a checkup, to make sure his health was up to par, which is how she found out he was blind.

Meta knights’ sight regained:

Before the mechanization started, Susie had to fix his eyes. She replaced them with robotic prosthetics that would help the mecha armor navigate, and after years of being blind, he would finally be able to see again. (His eyes turn yellow permanently after this game so it’s like proof) After surgery, he was extremely overwhelmed, and tried escaping to see Kirby and all his other loved ones, but since he had already signed the contract, she couldn’t let him leave, and the mechanization process continued.

Mechanization:

Technically he wasn’t turned into a cyborg, the mechanization process was more like giving the person mechanization armor that moved for them, meaning the person didn’t have to really even move, and the armor would control the person inside. The person inside acted as more of a skeleton. So the armor wasn’t a part of you (like she didn’t rip him apart and replace his entire body with robot ( except for his eyes but she just freaking made him see again so pllplppt)), it was more of an add on. (In the game the armor is completely off by the next cutscene so yeah no it wasn’t crazy cyborg stuff sorry) When he fought Kirby, he unfortunately couldn’t see him yet, because the program in the mech suit completely took over his vision, so he didn’t see Kirby until the very end.

End of robobot:

After fighting star dream and winning, he saved Kirby and they both land safely on popstar once again. Kirby doesn’t realize at first that Meta knight can see him, and meta knight stays very silent for a while taking it all in, but when Kirby finally realizes, it’s really sweet and they hug and cry and it’s just like GHHHHUHHVHJHHH 😢😢😭😭

From this point on, meta knight slows down a lot and stops trying to be insanely like in gonna be the best and I have to be strong and yeah, he retires from being a warrior like that, and spends time taking in what he hasn’t been able to see for almost 20 years.

Meta knight and Susie:

During his mechanization process, he became very good friends with Susie. Since she had just recently come back from an alternate dimension, he was the first person she could talk to, and they both had very similar traumas that they could bond over (losing their family for an extended time, feeling isolated, being related to a very bad person/ being, etc.) and meta knight felt he had, and always would have, an eternal debt to her for giving him his vision back. So there was never really intense conflict between them, they were just friends, until having to be separated at the very end.

After robobot:

After a much needed break, meta knight became a lot more peaceful and appreciated his family and his life a lot more, he finally felt truly happy and optimistic towards life in general. As for Susie, she did continue her fathers legacy by mechanizing different planets and people, but not in the way it seemed. She helped bring clean energy to different planets that needed help after haltmann works damaging their ecosystems, and she provided prosthetics for people who needed them, and helped many people regain their vision and hearing. (The reason why she was made to look like a bad guy is because since the people of popstar found out that she turned THEIR PRECIOUS META KNIGHT into a cyborg, they immediately assumed the worst and twisted her story around to make her look like she was a horrible person like her dad, which was just not true)

Star allies:

Star allies is really when Meta knight and Susie grew close. Finally being able to work on the same team helped them become even better friends, bond over shared experiences, and eventually lead to their relationship. They found someone they could truly talk about their trauma with, and it was just really great all around and it’s just sweet okay they both get their happy ending.

Forgotten land:

During forgotten land, meta knight has truly settled down and retired from his life of fighting like crazy and being crazy fighter

( I mean unless in one of the next games he comes out of retirement but we’ll see) and he focused on the slower life, he settled down with Susie, they wished for a kid, and life is really good. He will always continue to train Kirby, and anyone else, but after years of so many traumatic things happening to him, he’s now able to relax and heal from it all. 😊😊

Timeline:

Mk 25- Kirby is born

Mk 30 K 5- Mk called back to the second war

Mk 34- he comes back to popstar after the second war

Mk 35 K 6- Kirby returns to popstar (Kirby only aged one year during cryo sleep, so he should be 10 but he’s physically)

Mk 37 K 8- when the show ends and they fight nightmare

Mk 38 K 9- when meta knights revenge happens

Mk 44 K 13- when robobot happens

Mk 46 K 15- star allies and forgotten land

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

To all the fans crying about upcoming hiatus, all I can say is - would you not get bored playing the same song for the 112th time in 5 years?

Rammstein are not some new band that needs to play as much as they can to get themselves out there. They do it purely because they want to. And guess what?! They're old men! They're tired and achy and have no desire to to pla year after year after year.

Quality over quality, folks! I'm sure they'll have a rest, recharge their batteries and creativity and if something comes after that, we'll just have to wait and see.

They have families, children, grandchildren, sideprojects and other interests, and time is fleeting. They cannot and should not be giving their entire 100% to just music anymore.

It's fine. We've been fed very generously and with the documentary coming out soon, we'll enjoy that for many months.

Have a good time off, peepaws! ♥️🖤

Weeeelll.... i can imagine fans who mainly love Rammstein for the live shows would have loved another year of touring...and some fans may have had to save a bit of money first (figuring they'd spend it next year) now miss out; i'm sure other bands would have announced up front that it would be the final year in the current tour cycle, if nothing else, because commerce-wise, it would sell more tickets; but when does Rammstein ever do anything the way other bands do, or the way would be commercially sensible 😊 (and i love them for it)

But touring isn't the only thing they do, Rammstein have always taking a few years after a tour cycle to work on new things, Paul even dropped some ideas they are working on, it always has been about finding the balance between being creative and coming up with new things, versus going out to re-play what is already there. I bet the current tourcycle would not have lasted 6 years without Covid happening and i'm glad the didn't stop playing live after last year's dark cloud looming over everything.

As much as I love waking up each day after a show and seeing all the fun stuff on social media, I don't miss the anxiety of 2023 waking up and hoping there were no new allegations showing up...

Also i'm very excited to see what new things they will publish, will the documentary pass the Rammstein quality board, will there maybe some other things appearing in the future, like some of those elusive making of's, live dvd's etc

I think we still have great things coming from Rammstein in the future to look forward too, and seeing how much fun they have working together on stage right now, i hope that also transfers to their studio, hanging around together, yapping and coming up with something we haven't seen yet 🌺

But first: a little well-deserved vacation with their loved ones ❤️

[gideonstrix]

Can you share 5 facts about Gideon? He seems so interesting and I'd like to know more about him :D

Of course!! Thanks for the ask 😊

I’m kind of learning with him as I go too so it’s just as interesting to me ahah

5 facts about ⭒๋࣭𝑮𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒐𝒏 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒙

1. His dad was a wizard (English) and his mum is a muggle (Scottish) so although he was raised in an English home that his dad left to them after his passing, he was raised by his Scottish muggle mum. He had heard some things about wizard kind and magic from stories she told him about his dad, but as his dad passed when he was quite young he didn’t have too much involvement with the magical world pre-Hogwarts

2. Being Raised by just his mum he is quite caring and empathetic and surprisingly good at a lot of ��feminine” things (cooking, sewing, what have you) and generally kind and in check with his emotions, however this does not mean that if someone has intentions to harm his loved ones or other things that he cares for that he won’t use a bit of dark magic on them in return

3. Gideons birthday is October 21st which makes him a Libra ! We did his birth chart and he is a Libra Sun, Libra Moon, Scorpio rising (October 21st 1873 7:25am London England)

“Libra (sun) men are known for being charming, polite, and smooth. They are also known for being great listeners and observers.”

“Libra moons are empathetic and understanding, and have a natural ability to listen and provide balanced advice.”

“Scorpio rising signs can be fiercely protective of themselves and their loved ones”

4. Gideon loves magical creatures! He was always friendly with animals before. Cats, dogs, etc and found their company to be pleasant, but since learning about magical creatures he has taken a huge liking to them, particularly Nifflers as he finds them incredibly adorable and amusing. He appreciates the animals and all of their usefulness, and how incredibly smart they are. This is why his future chosen career is a Magizoologist in which he works closely with his dear friend Poppy Sweeting to educate the public on magical creatures, eventually passing this job on to the famous Newt Scamander. Also RIP any poachers that dare cross his path. He’s earned quite a reputation among them.

5. After their fifth year, when Quidditch was restored to Hogwarts, Gideon tried out for the Slytherin team and went on to join as their new Keeper. Gideon is quite tall (6’ ((or 183cm)) and growing!, he will eventually be about 6’2”) which helps when he is covering and defending the goalposts. He also quite enjoys the skill and concentration it takes to keep the other team from scoring. He and Imelda, though one might not consider them “friends” exactly, do have a huge mutual respect for each other on the field and work well together within the team.

Thank you so much for asking questions about Gideon! We had a ton of fun putting this together and hope you enjoy it 🥰💚🐍

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

😊🥰👽

👽 a fic that isn’t prose (poetry, text fic, etc.)

woahg what a cool question 0:

rhymesswith‘s WOH modern setting Cat!ZZS AU comic strips

rhymesswith's WOH Ladyhawke AU specifically this part of it! (masterpost with context in chronogical order)

you already know this but annannjay's iwtw WOH republican era shanghai AU that still has me be wildly insane

bardorable's WOH canon compliant introspective wen kexing poem Entropic Notions

megafaunatic's modern TYK setting comic of zzs throwing a birthday party!

😊 a fic that made you smile on a bad day

this wouldve been much harder to answer but fOrtUnaTely [at the time of writing this] im having a bad mental health month .. phase ,, time! (laughcrysob) [it's been a few i'm fine now!]

i‘d always been rigid before you by thehoundisdead. The Untamed modern au, wangxian, gender changes, wlw, identity shenanigans, texting, food as a gateway for love, university, light angst, misunderstandings, G. wei ying flirts with the driver who delivers her food orders via text, not knowing who they are, and it has no connection at all to lan zhan, her classmate! i love this little fic. its fun and silly and sweet and makes me go all warm inside, its exactly what i need when im down. i remember that u dont prefer school fics but maybe u like this??? there is not much serious school stuff happening there aside from the opportunity for wei ying to flirt with lan zhan since theyre classmates

no one understands the chemistry we have by livinginaworldofnoise. WOH, wenzhou, modern au, story told in posts, G. wen kexing tries to woe the most handsome man in the world. zhou zishu needs advice to get rid of a weird creep. these things are not at all related, why would u think that! its been a few weeks but i read this when i was having an extremely bad night and it lifted my spirits!!!!!! livinginaworldofnoise is one of my fav fandom authors, theyre so good at balancing rawness with humour. and i like how this fic transplants wkx from canon to a modern setting and shifts into an outsider‘s pov (the reddit community, this is told in posts), which automatically removes any context that would explain his Behaviour and Attitudes. i mean, wkx is actually disturbing! if u dont know why he is the way he is agdgdgdg

🥰 a fic that gives you warm fuzzy feelings!!

hey girl (you are what i've been looking for) by detectorist. The Untamed, MDZS, modern au, wangxian, background niehuan. gender changes (EVERYONE is a lesbian except for jiang cheng, who is the token gay man), wlw, house parties, drunk kissing, chaotic friend groups, casual queerness, T. wei ying and lan zhan meet on a house party the jins are hosting. sparks fly. highly recommend to read this together with its sequel!

the only place you wanna be by aiyexayen. WOH canon divergence/fix-it, gu xiang/wen kexing/zhou zishu, background wenzhou, four seasons manor arc, multiple pov, gu xiang-centric, introspection, non-sexual intimacy, hurt/comfort, angst, found family, rarepairings, polyships, M. zhou zishu has a problem, and its just as annoying and confusing as wen kexing. gu xiang realizes that the lao bing gui her zhuren keeps following around might be a little bit good-looking. wen kexing rearranges his perspective of what it means to him to care for his silly little girl. while they all live at four seasons manor, things develop. this fic single-handledly changed my brain chemistry! and the dynamics are so warm and so gah!!!! also aiyex shared a little of the bts process of working on it here!!!!!

ask me for a fic rec meme <3

[cheesybadgers]

Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 22)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

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Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 6,985

Summary: As Horacio's and Javier's stay in Manizales comes to an end, Elena has some words of wisdom and an unexpected offer for their future.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Discussions of coming out, grief, parental loss, canon-typical violence, religious themes, brief non-explicit sexual references, smoking, swearing.

Notes: As promised, here's the second half of their Manizales adventures. I'm still wrestling with editing chapter 23 at the moment, plus life has been kind of busy/stressful lately, so not sure when it will be ready to post. But the finish line is definitely within touching distance now ❤️

Thank you once again to anyone still reading/commenting/making moodboards and playlists or drawing, I'm blown away when my fic inspires others to create. I'll be making a proper masterlist once the fic is finished, where I'll link to everything people have made or have suggested playlist songs etc., plus there'll be my own playlist and moodboards.

Feel free to drop me a comment, whether it's about the new chapter or an older one, I'm always happy to chat 😊

I’ve also added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested.

Chapter 22: Past, Present, Future

The early morning mist transformed into drizzle in the time it took Horacio to run around the farm boundaries, the spray cooling his clammy skin as he worked up a sweat. He left Javier to wake and shower at his own leisurely pace, a routine they had settled into since arriving here. Although two mornings ago, both Javier and Alejandra were suspiciously worse-for-wear, and Horacio didn’t see much of either of them until after lunch.

Today, they planned to join one of Fabián’s tours, which included a coffee-tasting session. So, even if the exercise hadn’t woken Horacio up, the caffeine certainly would.

The rain eased off once back at the finca, sunrays now straining to break through the low clouds as Horacio showered and dressed, somehow still beating Javier.

Tempting aromas from the kitchen let Horacio know his Mamá was already up and about after making the children breakfast before Alejandra dropped them off at school.

As he sat down at the kitchen table and poured himself a glass of orange juice – his usual coffee would wait for later – both cats, Caturra and Bourbon, took turns rubbing themselves against his legs.

“You and Alejandra loved that stray cat when you were young,” said Elena, who had appeared from the larder with her arms full of eggs, chorizo and arepas. “What was her name?”

“Estrella.”

“She was the next best thing to a jaguar, and you were desperate to see one back then.”

“I remember. Never did, though.”

“Not many get the privilege these days.”

“Can’t say I blame them for keeping out of sight.”

Horacio remembered his Abuela Margarita telling him stories of how the jaguar, snake and condor were the original creators of the world and how the jaguar was tricked by man into parting with its power of fire. The feline creature was forced to survive on its cunning and strength alone, prowling around the mountains and jungles of Colombia, waiting patiently to exact revenge.

For too long, Horacio had stalked, clawed and mauled his prey all over Medellín, seeking vengeance on those who betrayed his country and its people. He was an apex predator maintaining balance and order in the food chain, not out of choice but necessity. A reluctant warrior backed into a corner until a palpable sense of duty kicked in when the threat was too real to ignore.

But whatever the unseen truth was, jaguars gained a reputation as ferocious killers, feared by humans until they became the hunted rather than the hunter, gunned down and chased into hiding and a life of solitude. An act of cowardice by the jaguar on the face of it, but these days, Horacio liked to think of it as an evolutionary advantage, the opposite side of the fight-or-flight coin.

“It’s understandable, yes. But a life in the shadows has its drawbacks.”

“True. But there can be a certain kind of freedom in the dark. Especially when those with flares want you dead.”

“Not everyone offering light wants that, Mijo.”

Horacio, who had focused on the floor for most of the conversation, finally looked up, hazel eyes mirrored back at him with extra shades of wisdom. His dour expression softened, and his shoulders sagged in concession. “I know.”

“Whilst I’ve got you here…” Elena trailed off, disappearing upstairs before returning with a small wooden trinket box.

She sat down at the table and extracted a gold chain from the box. “He’d want you to have it.”

Horacio stared at the pendants that swung back and forth like a pendulum clock as Elena held them out towards him. His cheeks hollowed, and his lips formed a sharp pout from how tightly he held his jaw in place. “Mamá, I can’t. Not after everything. Not after I ran away.”

“What are you talking about?”

“After I was injured, I went into hiding...in Laredo, Texas. And I quit.” He grasped his hands together and bowed his head as though in prayer, but he wasn’t sure even God could help him now he had confessed his sins. “I’m sorry I kept it from you. And I know you’re probably wondering why I went –”

“Javier.”

Horacio froze, undecided if he was caught off guard by the mention of Javier’s name or how he could hear his Mamá’s smile as she said it, as though it was the most glaringly obvious response anyone could ever have given.

“It’s okay, Mijo. You don’t have to explain yourself. He told me about the ranch whilst you and Alejandra cleaned up on your first night here.”

“That’s how you knew?”

“Well, not only that. I might be older these days, but I’m not blind.”

Elena chuckled, but Horacio could tell it wasn’t at his expense. So, he allowed his jaw some leeway, unclenching his teeth and facial muscles, almost appreciating the ache left behind. A chain reaction surged through his body, tension unknowingly carried for decades ebbing away now the secret he once believed would follow him to his grave was not only out but wasn’t being held against him.

And so he threw caution to the wind and let the floodgates open. He told his Mamá about Madrid and working on the ranch, about their plans for the future, about life in Laredo and even the crucifix, just in case she had noticed its absence and assumed the worst.

Talk of the crucifix prompted Elena to take one of Horacio’s hands in hers, where she deposited her gift of gold before he could refuse. “Take it. Please.” Her hand formed a dome over Horacio’s, fingers gently squeezing.

Once Elena withdrew, Horacio unfurled his palm and stared down at his very own El Dorado. “After my injury, I’d dream about this sometimes. And the stories you and Abuelita Mirabel told us about Bochica. I wish it’d been as easy as striking a staff to stop Escobar.”

“Bochica might have saved his people from drowning, but he couldn’t save them from the conquistadors and their gold-digging.”

Horacio rolled his eyes and sighed. “I know you don’t approve of Madrid, Mamá. And I know I’m no Bolívar, but –”

“Mijo, what are you talking about? I know you had your reasons for Madrid – even the second time. That’s not what I meant. And no one’s asking you to be Bolívar.”

A salient monument dedicated to Simón Bolívar stood in the centre of Manizales. The statue was half-man, half-condor, each entity synonymous with the other as national symbols of freedom and sovereignty. It still stung for Horacio to be reminded he had worn the Colombian coat of arms on his uniform sleeve every day, the proud condor flying above the motto Libertad y Orden (Freedom and Order) with Dios y Patria (God and Country) sworn beneath. But unlike Bolívar and Bochica, Horacio was unable to liberate his people.

Instead, he had sought refuge in two countries that had interfered the most with Colombia's autonomy. He had made a home on the land of the former Empire and used the gringos to his advantage when it suited him, never mind allowing one of them into his heart and bed.

Elena pressed her hand tenderly to Horacio’s cheek, the conflict in his mind apparently written all over his face. It was an action he had been on the receiving end of throughout childhood, but one that still had the power to soothe him as though no time had passed since.

“You’re also forgetting Chibchacum’s role in Bochica’s story,” she continued. “He was the one punished to carry the world on his back for creating the flood in the first place. Bochica did the best he could in terrible circumstances, and that’s all anyone could ask for.”

Memories re-surfaced of Abuelita Mirabel sitting between Horacio and Alejandra on the sofa, a blanket spread across the three of them, where she told of how every time there was an earthquake in Colombia, it was the weight of the world shifting on Chibchacum’s back. Little did Horacio know that would become a feeling he was all too familiar with when he was older.

But his Mamá was right; he wasn’t Chibchacum or Bochica. And he certainly wasn't Bolívar. But neither was his Papá.

So, he took a deep breath and raised the chain to unclip the fastening. From there, he attached it behind his neck, letting the deity and the angel finally rest against his skin.

“Beautiful,” Elena said, her eyes suddenly glossy and the corner of her lips twitching.

“Thank you.” Horacio held his Mamá’s gaze until it was necessary to look away and clear his throat. “What else is in there, anyway?” He swiftly motioned towards the box.

Elena passed it over to Horacio so he could look for himself. Nestled inside were his Papá’s wedding ring and lapel pins, his Abuelo Ignacio’s St. Michael’s cross, rosary beads, an old pack of Deportivo Independiente Medellín trading cards, a postcard of an orange grove with handwriting Horacio recognised as his Mamá’s on the back, and a black and white photograph of a young boy draped in a police jacket that was far too big for him. Behind him stood his father in the rest of the uniform the jacket belonged to.

“Is that Papá and Abuelo Ignacio?”

Elena laughed. “Of course!” She got up again without explanation, re-appearing with a photo album this time.

She flicked through it until she found what she was looking for. “Where do you think we got the idea for this from?”

She was pointing at an almost identical picture. The two boys in the photos had the same thick dark hair and charcoal eyes, a resemblance that would carry through into adulthood – although Horacio built up more muscle than his father ever did.

Horacio smiled. “I remember that being taken. It was my first day at school.”

“It was his idea before you set off for school, and he set off for work. He made sure I was ready with the camera when you came downstairs in your uniform.”

“I never knew it was his idea.” The dejection was evident in Horacio’s voice, even if he tried to hide it.

“He might not have said it much, but he was so proud of you, you know. And so am I.”

Horacio swallowed hard with his eyes shut, anything to hold himself together. “I used to take this when you weren’t looking,” he managed to get out, gesturing towards the photo album. “Same with some of the other old albums we had. Well, I kept a couple of them, actually.” He chuckled at the thought of the albums currently residing on a shelf in Madrid. “I always went back to the photos and his uniform for some reason.”

“You didn’t have to hide it from me.”

“Neither did you with us.”

“I know. But you were both so young. You didn’t need that burden on top of everything else.”

“You could never be a burden, Mamá.”

“You and Alejandra were busy forging your careers. I had to stay strong at work, helping people worse off than me. So, I saved most of it for my prayers and Día de Todos los Santos.”

Horacio remembered attending Mass and his Papá’s grave every Día de Todos los Santos. But it was different to Día de Muertos. They weren’t welcoming his Papá home; they were praying for those in purgatory and heaven. And as much as he liked to think his Papá was a saint, there was always a part of him terrified that if he didn’t pray hard enough, his Papá would never be cleansed of his sins.

“I was in Laredo for Día de Muertos. Javier’s father – Chucho – had a box like this for Javier’s mother – Mariana. He used it to make an ofrenda for her.”

Another piece of the puzzle seemed to click into place for Elena in a look that combined realisation with sympathy. Another loss, another parallel, another explanation.

“A beautiful tradition,” she concluded.

“Yeah, it is. One that remembers the people we’ve lost as we knew them and welcomes them back home.”

“A bit like this, you mean?”

“Something like that.”

“Whilst we’re here…there’s something else I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

“Go on.”

“Money from the house sale in Medellín has been sitting in a bank account since I moved here, along with some left over from your Papá. The plan was to split it between you and Alejandra when I’m gone, but…why wait?”

“What? But Mamá, that’s your money.”

“Technically, half of it is your Papá’s. But he’s not here. And who better to put that money to good use than his children?”

“Even though I wouldn’t have children of my own to return the favour one day?”

It was a question that had lingered on the tip of Horacio’s tongue since arriving here. A question he had tried to ignore for a long time before that, if he was honest. He learned of Juliana’s first pregnancy from his Mamá, who had heard the news from a friend of a friend. That was all she said on the matter, but Horacio was never sure whether he imagined the traces of disappointment in her voice that it wasn’t his child.

“Horacio, do you really think that matters to me?”

There was no disappointment in Elena’s tone now, just incredulous confusion that made Horacio regret his words.

“Even if I wasn’t surrounded by my amorcitos every single day, I would want you and Alejandra to make your own choices. Live your own lives. If that doesn’t involve children for you, then so be it.”

Horacio nodded, his lungs expelling a freeing breath he hadn't been aware was trapped in the depths of his rib cage. “Have you spoken to Alejandra about the money?”

“Not yet. But I know the farm needs repairs, and they’ve always got plans for this place. Same as the ranch.”

“I don’t own the ranch, though, Mamá.”

“No. But from everything you’ve told me about Chucho, he obviously trusts you with his business. And I don’t imagine you and Javier will want to live in a guesthouse for the rest of your lives. Visas don’t come cheap, either.”

Of course, she was right on all three counts. Horacio had a lot of on-the-job training ahead of him. He would effectively be starting from scratch again. But Chucho had welcomed him with open arms into his home and livelihood. It wasn’t implausible that if Horacio had ideas for the ranch, Chucho would take them on board.

They hadn't discussed living arrangements yet, but Horacio was confident neither he nor Javier had envisaged the guesthouse as a permanent solution. And then there was the small matter of Horacio’s visa. The paperwork upon which their future in Laredo hinged. He tried not to think about all the different ways it could go wrong or what they would do if it did. But that was a problem for another day. A problem that would no doubt be made easier with extra money in tow.

So, he ignored the whispering ghosts of his ancestors because his Mamá was right; he wasn’t doing this for his Papá. And he certainly wasn’t doing it for the people of Colombia, past or present.

“Okay,” he said in the end. “But only if Alejandra agrees to it, too.”

The sound of a throat being cleared caught them off guard and drew a temporary line under the conversation.

“Morning,” Javier greeted as he hovered by the kitchen door. “Hope I’m not interrupting.” Of course, he knew he was and an apology with his eyes was all he could offer Horacio for the time being.

“Good morning, Javier. And on the contrary! How do you feel about calentado?”

Whatever Javier had been expecting Elena’s response to be, for some reason, it wasn’t that. He looked towards Horacio for the slightest hint about what he had walked in on.

Horacio wanted to explain everything – and later he would – but for now, he ushered Javier to sit down.

“Er, sounds perfect, thanks,” Javier told Elena as his foot found Horacio’s under the table.

And as the three of them chatted and helped prepare breakfast, Horacio had to admit Javier was right.

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The coffee tour took up the rest of the morning. It was no wonder Horacio had always been particular on the subject when he knew which were the best beans and blends to be found in Colombia. He still had occasional pangs for his former life, but the weak instant shit the gringos brought with them to Carlos Holguín wasn’t one of them.

Naturally, the heavens opened before the end of the tour – bad for the tourists but good for the soil – and by the time they had returned to the finca, another shower was required.

They showered together, the finca empty for a change. Plus, they had nothing to hide anymore – at least not with the people that mattered the most. That hadn’t quite sunk in for Horacio even after he told Javier everything. Even when his last defences buckled, and he broke down in Javier's arms, letting himself be held. Even when he was kissing Javier, slow and deep, in his family’s bathroom, their breaths heavy and desperate in such a confined space.

One thing could easily have led to another as Horacio pinned Javier against the cold tiles, bare skin seeking out bare skin, emotions running high. There was no doubt they wanted it to, and in almost any other circumstance, it would have.

“Not here,” Horacio whispered, his voice shaking and his forehead falling against Javier’s as he was hit by a sudden clarity of thought. “I’m sorry.”

Javier hushed lightly, cradling Horacio against his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay.” He kissed across damp hair, running his fingers through thick strands that always became curlier when wet. “We don’t have to do anything.”

Light strokes soon morphed into lathered hands as Javier washed and rinsed Horacio’s hair, massaging the shampoo into his scalp and soothing away stubborn remnants of tension.

Although a niggling knot remained, an unspoken question and an uninitiated conversation. “When I was talking with my mother earlier…” Horacio began, closing his eyes and tilting his head back to let the hot jets cascade down his neck and shoulders.

Javier hummed in encouragement, his lips following the water droplets, enveloping Horacio in a blanket of warmth from all angles.

“She reassured me she wouldn’t be disappointed if I never had children.” Horacio let his words hang in the white noise of the shower, giving Javier time to adjust to the change of subject.

“Did you think she would be?”

“It crossed my mind. So much has been passed down through the Carrillo side of my family. From my Abuelo to my Papá. From my Papá to me.”

“Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but four of your nieces and nephews are around here somewhere.”

Horacio let out a light huff. “Like I could forget. But…they’re Alejandra’s, not mine.”

“I know. But I think you’re forgetting the real question here. Would you be disappointed?”

“Back when I was younger, when I was with Juliana, I might’ve said yes. More out of expectation than anything else. But with you…I think we ripped up and threw away the rule book a long time ago.”

“Thank fuck for that. We’ve never been very good at following rules anyway.”

It didn't take long for them both to laugh at such a flagrant understatement.

“So, you do feel the same then?” Horacio asked in earnest.

“I was less than an hour away from getting my very own white fucking picket fence. If I’d wanted it, I could’ve had it. But that wasn’t my idea of the American Dream.”

Horacio turned in Javier’s arms, and the last seed of doubt was finally plucked from his mind. His lips captured Javier’s again, a statement of intent for their future. A future they no longer had to hide from their families. 

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Javier seated himself in the large wooden gazebo at the end of the garden, which doubled as a viewing platform over the steep valley below. For once, sunlight had won the battle against the mist, and the sky was a brilliant shade of blue. It made it possible to see for miles, giving the illusion of being high amongst the surrounding trees alongside the raucous birdlife living in their branches.

It was their penultimate morning in Manizales, upon which Javier had changed a habit of a lifetime by getting up with Horacio. They had penned in some sightseeing of the city later. But for now, Horacio had gone for his usual run, and Javier started the day with possibly the best coffee he had ever drunk.

“May I join you?”

Javier looked up from his cup and cleared his throat. “Oh, er, of course.”

As Elena sat down, the sun glinted off the silver jewellery bonded to Javier’s chest, making them squint at its reflection. He instinctively brought a hand to his neck in a fumbled effort to shove the crucifix beneath the open collar of his shirt.

“You don’t need to do that, you know.”

Fuck. He'd been busted.

However, Elena's voice contained no traces of judgment, and it quickly put Javier at ease. He lowered his hand to his knee, giving a brief bob of the head before taking another sip of coffee.

“I still wear these.” Elena raised her left hand, showing off a sparkling diamond ring above a plain gold band. “The amount of awkward questions about the whereabouts of my husband these have caused over the years. Yet I still can’t bring myself to take them off. Although…”

With her right hand, she took hold of the top ring and wiggled it off her finger, then did the same with the second ring, with more force required this time.

Javier wasn’t sure what was happening until the dappled morning light fell on the inside of the ring he held up to his face.

Suerte que encontré a mi media naranja

(Lucky that I found my soulmate)

“It’s beautiful.”

“Eduardo wasn’t a man of many words, but he had his moments.” Elena’s smile took on a wistful appearance as Javier passed the ring back.

“My Pops is the same with his wedding ring. He insists on wearing it every day, which isn’t really compatible with the day job.”

“I can imagine. I hear it became Horacio’s day job, too?”

“Yeah,” Javier said with an involuntary grin. “I know it might be hard to believe, and I know it’s not what he expected, but it suits him.” Literally as well figuratively, he managed to stop himself from blurting out.

“I can’t remember him ever saying he wanted to be anything other than a police officer. My parents ran a textile business, and Eduardo’s mother was a nurse. But Horacio followed his father, who followed his father like it was their birthright. I always worried about Eduardo, especially if he was running late or was called to an emergency. Then it was the same with Horacio, too. So much blood spilt on our doorsteps, on our streets, in our churches.”

Elena promptly picked up her cup, the balm of hot fruit tea required before she could continue.

“Whenever the phone rang – or I heard a knock at the door – I prepared for the worst. It happened to so many friends and neighbours. So why not my husband or son? Of course, it was Eduardo’s heart in the end. But once Search Bloc made Horacio a walking target, it was only a matter of time. I’d spent years expecting it, but what I hadn’t accounted for in all of my fretting, pacing, and prayers…was you.”

“Me?”

“He told me what you did. How much trouble you and your partner got in for it. How you got injured yourself. How…you saved my son and his men.”

“We couldn’t save them all,” was Javier’s sole response to the lashings of praise he still wasn’t convinced he truly deserved in light of how the ambush came about in the first place.

“You saved more than your superiors were willing to, by the sounds of it.”

Javier scoffed. “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

“Good. And as for the ranch…he’s always liked to keep busy. Just like his father, he could never sit still and relax for long. I can see it. I bet he looks the part.”

“He does, actually.” That was allowed, Javier told himself.

“I thought something had changed after his injury, even if he wouldn’t tell us much. I hoped he’d seen sense, but I knew he was prepared to die for that mission of his – that obsession. I’d almost accepted it, to be honest, especially without Eduardo around to stop him. So, when he told me he’d quit, you were the only reason that made sense.”

“Ever since my Mamá passed, I tried to change things – or control them, at least. Anything to not feel that…helpless again. But it didn’t work like that. Walking away was the only choice left.”

“But it was a choice you both made. That can’t have been easy. I may not have known you very long, but it’s already clear to me you’re good for each other.”

“Even though I’m a gringo?”

“We all have our flaws.” Not only did Elena catch the humour in Javier’s eyes, but she matched and surpassed it with her own. “But to answer your question properly…I would say the complicated histories of our homelands have more in common than meets the eye.”

Javier hummed as he had flashbacks to high school of learning about Laredo starting life as a Spanish colonial settlement before a bloody tug-of-war between Mexico and America – and independence from both – had broken out. There was no denying he had benefited from certain privileges of owning an American passport, and he’d always accepted the gringo label without much pushback. But deep down, he knew it was only half the story.

“You’ve shown each other new paths,” Elena continued. “Safer and happier ones. And that’s what counts.”

“Not quite sure what my new path is yet, to be honest. I’ve spent so long running away from Laredo. I’ve forgotten what it means to live there.”

“It took me a long time to accept my place was here now rather than Medellín. Whenever there was a bombing, or a shooting, or a kidnapping, I had to stop myself from getting on a plane. But Horacio worried I’d be a target because of him. He didn’t want me there. And what could I have done anyway?” Elena let out a self-deprecating huff at the mere thought.

“You wanted to protect your son.”

“Yes. But it wasn’t just that. Medellín was my home and my work. And many of Eduardo’s friends and colleagues were killed. Their wives were sisters to me after his death. But I couldn’t return the favour from down here. Not in the same way, at least. I sent cards, flowers, food parcels, even money sometimes. But it never felt enough.”

“It never does.”

“No. It doesn’t. But I did what I could. And being there for Alejandra and the kids made me feel useful. I got involved with the church again. Worked for a small charity. Even though we’ve been protected from the violence here, the repercussions of it spread far and wide. So many displaced families in need. At least I was making a difference somewhere.”

“I thought I was making a difference. And maybe sometimes I was. But I don’t think it was ever really my fight.”

“Perhaps not. But maybe it helped lead you to the right one.”

“Maybe.”

Javier’s mind drifted back to the family history his Pops told him over the phone in Madrid, not just about his Mamá but his grandparents too. Not to mention all his Pops had done for the local community over the years. He thought of the stories Señora Romero had shared and the kindness she had shown him and Horacio. They had all made a difference in their own ways. And they had done it without leaving their cities, let alone their countries.

As Elena excused herself to ensure Mateo and Sofía weren’t starting another civil war in the kitchen, Javier nursed his coffee cup and surveyed the meandering scenery below. For the first time since he told Stechner to go fuck himself, he could see the outline of a path emerging in front of him. He wasn’t exactly sure where it was leading yet, but at least it was something. Something closer to home.

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Their last day in Manizales came faster than Horacio had expected, presumably a side effect of waiting for the other shoe to drop any minute. Miraculously, it never did.

“Knock knock.”

Horacio looked up from the bed where he was wrestling with the zip of his suitcase – and currently losing. “Morning.” Another tug, but it wouldn’t shift. “You just gonna watch me?”

“Because you’re usually so good at accepting help.” With a dry smile and shake of the head, Alejandra came to the rescue with less heavy-handedness than her brother, unjamming the zip in seconds.

“I’m better than I was.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“And thank you, by the way.” Horacio stood up, lifting the case from the bed and bringing himself face-to-face with his sister. “For everything.”

Alejandra nodded, maintaining eye contact with Horacio long enough to be distracted by the sunlight dancing across the gold chain around his neck. “It suits you.”

“Thanks. Better than it collecting dust in a box.”

“I don’t just mean the necklace.”

The subtle glow of Horacio's pupils mirrored Alejandra's before he stepped forward, pulling her into a tight embrace. “Take care of yourself, okay?” He leaned down and kissed her on the top of her head.

“You too. And don’t leave it so long next time.”

“We won’t. I promise.”

“If it helps, I can sweeten the deal with a stay at one of the hot springs around here. They’re always giving me freebies for supplying their coffee. One of them has private thermal pools and everything.”

“You don’t have to bribe me to visit.” However, the thought of it being him, Javier, and a jacuzzi was enough for him to re-think his position on taking bribes. “Plus, I wanna see what you do with the place.”

“So you can take inspiration?”

Horacio rolled his eyes. “You wish. If you think you can handle the Texan climate, you know where we’ll be.”

“Don’t worry, I can and I will.”

“We about ready?” Javier appeared in the doorway with the rest of their luggage, pausing at the threshold. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” Again.

“It’s okay; your boyfriend was just inviting us all to the ranch.”

It had only been an innocuous comment, but Alejandra managed to stop both men in their tracks with one word, a bashful look passing between them at the novelty of it.

“Oh, er, that’s great. The more the merrier.” Javier recovered just in time, although the flush in his cheeks showed no sign of abating. “My Pops always makes enough food for the population of Texas, so you’d be more than welcome.”

“Likewise here, Javier. As long as you bring more aguardiente next time.” She winked and drew him in for a hug.

“I think that can be arranged.” Javier broke away first so he could look at Alejandra properly. “And thank you…for everything this week.”

Alejandra gave a bob of the head once more, her smile widening as she glanced from Javier to Horacio, the depth of their gratitude beyond words but written all over their faces. “It’s what big sisters are for.”

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After eating enough breakfast to last them for most of their journey to Medellín – the rest supplemented by Elena’s homemade empanadas and cocadas – they were stood back on the front porch again.

There was a chorus of goodbyes this time, ones that didn’t have the foreboding air of finality about them as they had done in the past.

Horacio allowed his Mamá to clutch him with all her strength, the scent of her perfume transporting him straight back to childhood.

“You take care of each other, you hear? And keep me updated on your visa. You know where I am if you need anything.”

“Don’t worry, Mamá. I will.”

“Y no olvide su español.” (And don’t forget your Spanish)

“No lo haré, Mamá.” (I won’t, Mamá) Horacio barely managed to suppress a tone of amused exasperation, given that he had been surrounded by almost as many Spanish voices in Laredo as in Colombia.

“Javier, you heard all of that. So, don’t let him forget.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Javier received the same treatment as Horacio with a bracing hug.

“Don’t be a stranger, Mijo. And don’t fret about finding that path. Just remember to follow your heart.” 

------------------------------------------------------

The light was fading fast, leaving behind a watercolour blend of ambers, yellows and reds that blazed against a backdrop of purple haze and the ethereal silhouette of ancient mountains. The glimmer of city life below felt distant, as though they had left this world altogether and now lived above the clouds.

Which was fine by them as they caught their breath; Horacio draped over Javier’s lap in the passenger’s seat, the culmination of their release glistening across their stomachs.

“Just like old times,” Horacio panted as trails of kisses became interspersed with heady laughter.

“Well, not exactly.” Javier’s thumb and forefinger delicately held the silver and gold pendants at their chests before untangling the chains that had become knotted during their tryst.

“No.” Horacio brought his forehead to meet Javier’s, an instant tonic to the painful twinge gripping their hearts as memories of their last visit to this spot resurfaced. “I told you we’d make up for lost time this past week, though.”

“Yeah, I figured you meant in the hotel. Or even back in Madrid. Not the minute you parked up in Medellín.”

“Like you were complaining.”

“Fuck, no, I wasn’t. Less likely to be overheard up here than in the hotel anyway.”

Once Horacio had regained enough feeling in his limbs to dismount and sit back in the driver’s seat, Javier reached for the glove box. He took out their emergency stash of cigarettes and lit up.

Horacio attempted to clean himself up as best he could and did the same for Javier. “So, this is why you brought those with us.” He nodded towards the cigarettes.

“Obviously.” Javier took a long drag and exhaled with a deep sigh, his body latching on quickly to the nicotine, his mind still blitzed.

They passed their shared smoke back and forth in comfortable silence, basking in their afterglows and the aftermath of the last few days.

“You still like it up here then?” Horacio asked after stubbing out the butt in the ashtray between them.

“Yeah, I do. Don’t think I’ve ever seen it looking so beautiful.”

“Me neither. Funny how the same view can look completely different in a new light.”

Javier hummed in agreement, their gaze now fixed on each other rather than the windshield, the irony not lost that they were back in the same spot where it could easily all have ended.

"I can think of a way to make it even better, though.”

“Go on.”

In a flurry of movement, Javier zipped up his jeans, pulled on his shirt and got out of the car. He rustled around in the trunk until he retrieved a couple of spare towels they had packed for emergencies, along with their jackets. It wasn’t quite the thick blanket from the ranch, but at least it was a mild night.

They sprawled out on the grass behind the car, lying atop the towels and wrapped in their jackets. Javier propped his head on a folded sweater with Horacio resting against his chest at an angle that allowed them both to take in the cityscape below.

“How about we just stay here forever?” Javier rasped between slow, sensual kisses.

Horacio moaned against Javier’s lips as he went back for more. “Don’t tempt me. At least we didn’t book an early flight tomorrow.”

“Good point.” Another string of kisses, each more addictive than the last.

“Although,” Horacio began once they had calmed down, his fingers tracing patterns across Javier’s torso, "we’ve got a lot to sort out once we’re back in Madrid.”

“I know. But at least we ripped off the band-aid.” One of Javier’s hands found Horacio’s and slotted their fingers together.

“I spent so much energy worrying about this trip; I was almost expecting something bad to happen.”

Javier raised their linked hands to his mouth and brushed his lips over Horacio’s knuckles. “But it didn’t.”

“No. In fact…I think I know what I want to do with the money.”

“Oh yeah?”

“If you and your father agree to it, that is. And I can find a good lawyer.”

Javier lifted his head slightly and turned in Horacio's direction, urging him to continue.

“I was thinking….what if we bought the corn farm? The three of us, I mean.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah. I think I am.” Horacio couldn’t help but laugh now he’d said it out loud. “Like I said, I’d need to check everything with a lawyer about my visa first. But there is an option for investors. And you still have some of your money from the ranch, right?”

“Yeah, I do. And obviously, you can count me in. But…shit, Horacio. Are you sure? I mean, it’s your inheritance.”

“It's nothing Alejandra isn't doing with her share. And well, if your father bought it outright, an empty cottage would go to waste on our doorstep. Last I looked, it needed a bit of maintenance, but it wasn’t in bad shape.”

Now, it was Javier’s turn to laugh. “Got it all figured out, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“It’s funny, ‘cos, er...I’ve been thinking, too. About something your Mamá said.”

“About what?”

“About looking closer to home for a new path. And I think I might have found it.”

------------------------------------------------------

They only meant to stay until they got too cold, but their shared body heat let them doze until sunrise. The watercolour skyline re-emerged from behind the mountain tops, gradually bathing Medellín in a heavenly half-light, stirring them awake as it reached their hideaway.

The plan was to freshen up and have breakfast at the hotel before dropping off the hire car and heading to the airport after lunch. But there was something Horacio needed to do whilst the city wasn’t fully awake, whilst the low sun felt like a gift from God Himself.

As they pulled up a stone’s throw away from Horacio’s old family church – a few blocks down from his childhood home and former apartment that Trujillo had cleared after his hasty exit from Carlos Holguín – Javier hesitated, unsure if this was something Horacio needed to do alone.

“Come with me,” Horacio said after stepping out of the car as though he had read Javier’s mind. “Please.”

That was all the confirmation Javier needed to follow.

They walked silently along a well-kept pathway that forked off in multiple directions. It was maze-like and disorientating, but Horacio took purposeful strides despite how long it had been since his last visit.

He halted at a large marble slate engraved with a crucifix and the CNP emblem. There were some dried old flowers in a vase at the base of it, where Horacio knelt down and swapped them for the fresh bunch of marigolds he’d carried from the car.

“A gift from Mamá,” he whispered. “She’ll be back again soon.”

Horacio remained on the grass and brought his hands up to the back of his neck, where he unhooked the gold chain. He studied it between his fingers, then clasped it in his palm and bowed his head.

The cemetery was empty at this time in the morning, the loud rustling in the trees drowning out the murmur of traffic beginning to burst into life.

Javier watched wordlessly a few feet behind Horacio, almost beginning to feel like he was intruding.

“Pray with me.”

“Are you sure? What if someone –”

“I’m sure. No one’s here but us.”

Javier checked around them once, then twice, just in case. Even if someone did happen to come by, two men praying over a grave wasn’t exactly the most compromising position they could be found in. But it was better to be safe than sorry.

Once satisfied, Javier joined Horacio on the grass. They couldn’t get away with how they had done this in private, but Horacio dropped his right hand to the floor beside him, palm outstretched.

Javier took the hint and discreetly placed his left hand over the top, encasing the gold necklace between them.

With heads lowered and eyes closed, they prayed. An unspoken acknowledgement of all they had lost and how it had led them here. They honoured memories made, those that would never be, and those they could still make together despite everything.

Horacio’s eyes fluttered open as the sunlight fell on the headstone above him, forcing him to blink away a glassy sheen. His hand stayed connected with Javier’s on the earth, his present and future by his side, giving him strength to finally make peace with his past.

He rose to his feet and made the sign of the cross on his chest before running his fingers along the embossed letters of his father’s name. “Te quiero mucho, Papá.”

Javier gave as much time as was needed until risking a gentle squeeze of Horacio’s shoulder. “You ready?”

Horacio looked from the gravestone to Javier, the charcoal of his irises burning with the fire of conviction. “I’m ready.”

[anamoon63]

Simblr New Years Resolution 2024

Thanks @serenasims for the tag! 🤗💗

What's your Resolution for your Simblr?

This is going to be a shock, even for me, but I want to focus more on my gameplay, keep it simple and leave the long and intricate stories for my normal writing, i.e. my non sims writing. I also want to enjoy the game more, play for the sake of playing, have fun with The Sims like I used to. It doesn't mean I won't continue the stories I've already started, but maybe I'll switch to a simpler, yet visually more appealing format. I'd like to find a balance between the visual and the written word, if that makes any sense at all. I'm talking about less words, but also less photos, to be less repetitive and hectic. I don't know, I'm still looking for that change, I hope to be able to achieve that this year.

What do you want from the Sims Franchise?

Ah, where do I start? Lol. Well, I'd like a whole new game as the Sims 4 hasn't quite finished convincing me, it's been out there for 20 years and I'm just starting to play it. Anyway, for Sims 4 in particular I would like the same as my dear friend @serenasims, you know, concerts, bands, cars…To be completely honest, I don't know if I want more stuff for S4 because my game is so in pieces now, those back-to-back updates break so many things every time they come. Doesn't mean I haven't had tons of fun with TS4! 💗 Now, if I had something to ask for it would be, open world, cars, bigger worlds with more houses, the ability to create lots and add them to the map like in Sims 3, be able to remove corrupted or ruined houses. Truth is, I would prefer if they did a whole new game, but if The Sims 5 is going to be this Project Rene thing, just please leave me out. Lastly, if I really wanted something from the franchise as a whole (because seriously, I don't expect anything from EA anymore), and if I were allowed to dream, I wish they would fix The Sims 3, remaster it, make it work for everyone (it works for me, but that takes a lot of dedication and upkeep). In short, I wish EA hadn't trashed The Sims 3 like they did, and actually fixed the bugs, if they had, now it would now be an even greater game than it already is. Ok, I didn't want this to turn into a rant, but, well, you know me. 😋

Any other New Years Resolutions?

If this question is in regard to real life, well, I'd like to start a site with my stories, non sims, the ones I've written throughout my life. But that's just a thought at this moment, I'm not really sure if I'll be able to pull it off. The resolution would be in any case, to take steps towards that, and to start writing my new novel already, cause at my age, one is more aware of the number of years one has left, it's as if a countdown has begun. I mean, I'm not that old, lol, but you never know, hence my other resolutions: take care of my health, keep exercising, eat healthy, drink more water, give up junk food, smile, have fun, be less worried about everything, etc. In other words: keep me alive and happy. I don't usually make resolutions, they are more like wishes or plans, projects that I don't know if I'll have the time or the energy to accomplish, but that I really want to pursue this year, or in the years to come. :)

I know, as usual, my post turned out quite long and incoherent, lol. Sorry, but I couldn't help myself.

Also, as almost always, my tag answers are a little late, so I'm tagging all my mutuals and followers who haven't done this one yet. 😊

[wildsaltair]

this might be too personal of a question so please disregard if it is!! but i’ve been recently thinking of making a career change and going back to teaching (it was something i always wanted to do, but i got sidetracked towards another job in the meantime) and i saw in one of your tags that you’re an english teacher! and seeing as how i would look to go into that field / subject (and the fact that i also enjoy analyzing russell crowe’s films and microexpressions☺️) i wanted to see if you would share your opinions about it? do you enjoy it / would you recommend to others? and do you still feel fulfilled and able to enjoy your interests in tandem with it (given this blog i sure hope so!). anyways, just really happy i came acroos your blog and when i saw that tag too, i figured why not ask!

Oh my goodness hi, friend!! Thank you so much for sending this — I’m so glad you reached out 😊 I’ll be glad to answer anything you want to know! I actually talk about my job very rarely on here (I also obsess over analyzing all Russell’s microexpressions; it’s like a madness with me), so thank you for asking :)

(gonna add a page break here because I wrote WAY more than I thought I was going to)

Yes, I love a lot of aspects of teaching!! I’ve only been doing it for a few years, but I absolutely love working with students and meeting them where they are. Getting to know their interests, inspiring them to try new things, and helping them feel confident about hard skills (like writing paragraphs) is so fulfilling. I also love the organizational / planning aspect of teaching, as well as the content I get to teach. Reading and writing are my big hobbies :)

I also love getting to be in a leadership position because that’s very natural for me, and I enjoy getting to be the one who makes decisions about curriculum, pacing, and activities. I’ve gotten my curriculum down pretty well these days, so I’m able to enjoy teaching familiar activities instead of being worried about what I’m going to teach tomorrow haha :D

Finally, I love that every day in the classroom is a new challenge. No two days are alike. Yes, you have all kinds of problems to solve (and there are some absolutely insane things that happen in high school, I’m telling you), but you will certainly never be bored :D Every student is unique, and every day is a chance to start over fresh with new ideas. It’s probably the most dynamic, challenging, fast-paced jobs in the world.

I have to admit though, there are a lot of things that make teaching really difficult and discouraging. Classroom management (especially in a public high school) can be so challenging, especially when you have a lot of students with behavior issues or attitude problems. There are a lot of days where I just don’t want to go back to work because I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything and that I’m wasting my time trying to teach things that don’t matter. But what I’ve learned in that is that teaching English is fairly marginal: it’s the relationships that make teaching worth it.

Also, balancing the difficulties of the state / county’s expectations is A LOT. Professional development, teaching standards, licensure requirements, etc. the list just goes on and on. I always have clear plans for what I want to do with my classes, but I have to plan around what my administrators and county curricula require of me :/

Also, seeing students’ awful home lives is heartbreaking for me and adds a lot of stress. Seeing students struggle with addiction, abuse, suicide, violence, anxiety, bullying, depression, etc. etc. is the hardest thing to cope with. You get so attached to your students because you’re with them every day trying to help them think through their work, and when you get glimpses into the terrible things they have to deal with outside of school, it’s really hard. It’s doubly hard because there’s only so much you can do — you can encourage them and be their mentor and friend, but you can’t fix their problems for them.

So to actually answer your questions 😄 teaching is very fulfilling in a lot of areas, but you have to be ready for all the difficulties. I’d recommend teaching to anyone who is willing to be patient, kind, and engaging with their students, because teachers are in a unique position to impact so many lives, and a lot of them make students’ lives miserable because they’re uncaring, harsh, or needlessly cruel. (But I know you wouldn’t be thinking about going into teaching unless you were already willing to do that!!)

I think teaching is a true calling, and if you feel called to it, you should look into it! Depending on what state you live in, you could always try a TA or substitute position to get a feel for the classroom experience, then make your decision from there. There’s genuinely no formal education that can prepare you for teaching — it’s a trial by fire every single day, and you just have to experience it to know if it’s for you.

Finally, yes, I find time to balance my personal life with my teaching job! I read several books a month, take care of my dog, keep my cactus alive, visit friends on the weekends, and obsess over Russell Crowe / his characters every day (as everyone knows hehehe). Granted, I’ve never been in a romantic relationship during my teaching career (which I think could be a challenge), but I have lots of teacher friends who manage that. I think you’ll find time for whatever you’re willing to make time for.

I hope this answers your questions!! Sorry for the long post, but I love talking about my job haha. I don’t know if it’s going to be a lifelong career for me (I like to try new things constantly, so I may switch to a new career eventually), but right now I do love teaching, even with all its challenges and frustrations. If you ever have any more questions or want to chat about teaching, I’d love to!! I would also love to chat about Russell Crowe’s microexpressions anytime you’re in the mood for that haha. Thank you for dropping in, and I wish you the best with whatever you choose!!!

[peachymilkandcream]

Can I request more Head cannon/s or oneshot about Levi and Evelyn's life in the underground. More like their life with Isabel and Furlan😊

Levi and Evelyn's Life In The Underground Headcanons

(A/N: Ever since last night's request and reading that extra chapter of Levi (which thank you to hardgoreblack for both the request and feeding my Levi addiction :)), I've been deep dive thinking into Levi and Evelyn in the underground so this couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

===============================================

- When Levi had met Furlan and then eventually Isabel he told them about Evelyn and the split they had. He made it seem like Evelyn was in danger and foolishly ran off and now he was trying to find her. He came off as a super worried and caring friend who just wanted her to be safe since who knew what would happen to her here. They both agreed to help find her, knowing it would mean the world to their friend.

- Once they found her Isabel and Furlan came to trust and become friends with Evelyn but refused to get too close due to Levi’s threatening glares. They two had to walk a tightrope balance of what was being too friendly and what would seem like a rejection to Evelyn and hurt her feelings. Levi never gave them the answers.

- Levi never knew boundaries either. As kids they did everything together. But when you’re 12 and 6 and raised like siblings things like play fighting and sleeping in the same bed (especially when there is only one), Levi washing her hair, and standing outside the bathroom to both keep her safe and in case she needed help wasn’t weird. It was an older brother doing what he had to to take care of his sister. However at 18 and 24 a lot of that was unnatural. (Not that he’d let Evelyn know)

- Levi immediately made her start growing her hair out too, the boyish cut pissed him off and inspected it every day to see how the length was coming along. Even though the look was inspired off him he couldn’t help but desire for her to be feminine.

- Out of the two Isabel got along with Evelyn better than Furlan because she was just happy to have another girl in the bunch. The pranks she convinced her to play on the two boys always got Furlan laughing and Levi with an amused grin, happy she was happy again and not living in fear.

- After Evelyn’s legs started getting bad she went from helping them steal to housekeeping. And at first Furlan was annoyed not to have as much help, but having the house already cleaned and food waiting for them all was worth it. Since usually he had to listen to Levi’s cleaning complaints while making dinner since Isabel and Levi were hopeless at it. (Evelyn wasn’t great either but they all got a good laugh at her trying)

- Whenever there was a birthday, they all agreed that they wouldn’t blow money on sugar and eggs for a cake but one of them would always secretly buys these and give them to Evelyn to bake a cake for the special person as a surprise. The cakes never turned out just right with the lack of proper ingredients in the proper amounts but they always brought a smile to the birthday boy/girl’s face.

- Once for Christmas Isabel found a weed she was convinced was mistletoe and threatened to kiss Evelyn to make Levi jealous. While everyone thought it was a funny joke Isabel ended up deep cleaning the entire house with a tiny brush.

- Back to breaking boundaries Levi, he constantly walked in purposely on Evelyn changing. Shrugging and saying it wasn’t a big deal. (A habit that continued up until they got married actually) And when she seemed annoyed or upset he’d start a play fight with her, pining her to the ground, wall or bed, trying to hide that look in his eye.

- Once Evelyn’s legs got too bad to walk for the most part Levi carried her everywhere, even with him using the ODM gear so that if she needed to come for whatever reason she didn’t have to try and keep up with them using her weak legs in the harness.

- After Isabel and Furlan died and Evelyn and Levi reunited they visited their graves together. Levi had made them outside the walls on the usual route the Survey Corps took so that they could always pass by them.

[idrellegames]

Lovelovelove how you write the Mc. Even with player choices, MC doesn’t feel like a blank slate. All the dialogues give them such a personality and they feel like a real character. It must be really hard trying to balance having MC be customisable while still having them feel like they’re a real part of the story (if that makes sense? Lol). Anyways, love the game and love your writing 😊❤️

Thank you!

I have a few feelings about blank slate protagonists. There are definitely games where that can work and this isn't a shot at them, but I do find that they come with their own host of challenges. It is very difficult, if not impossible, to give the PC a solid character arc when they are a blank slate and their personality and development is left up to the player's imagination. Blank slate protagonists tend to be less about the PC themselves and serve more as a vehicle for the player to witness the story or the journeys of the main characters.

I also think that blank slate protagonists are very difficult to do in interactive fiction because the author has to fill in all of the connecting bits between choices. It's a little easier in video games with a voiceless protagonist where you can show or have the PC do things in-game; but in IF you have to write it.

I personally have a preference for PCs that have a single foundation that can then built on and spun off of. A single player's combination of choices (CC selections, in-game dialogue options, etc) together may create a PC that is quite different from another player's, but they all come from the same source. Having that foundation helps a lot with writing the moments inbetween player choice.

[bananasomg]

fic writer interview

tagged by @randomwordsonpaper 🫶🏼 tysm! :)

How many works do you have on AO3?

11 works on AO3 currently.

What's your total AO3 word count?

51,277. my fics are short and sweet (FOR NOW... 😉)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

tell her it's over

not very subtle

the boy is mine

bedroom angel

this can't last forever

these one-shots are all from my series Scenes from 2024, which follows the current F1 season. i've really enjoyed taking inspo from the current race happenings and giving some IRL interactions a lestappen™️ spin. 😏 thank you everyone for the love you've showed.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

absolutely always respond! i'm honored when fellow writers and readers in the fandom leave a comment, and i really appreciate everyone who's taken the time to share their feelings about lestappen. 💕

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

currently no fics i've published have an angsty ending; however, the most angsty fic in general is a brief respite, in which Charles is struggling in Japan.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

all my fics have fairly happy endings, but maybe after hours, which is a cute, fluffy slice of life after Imola in which Charles surprises Max by taking him on a mini vacation and Max realizes Charles may be the one for him. 😊

Do you write crossovers?

no, i do not, but i applaud any authors that do! it takes so much time and energy to balance multiple fandoms and niche elements of each, so it's amazing to see work being created through crossovers!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nah. my advice? if you dislike a work, just DNF and move on. no need to spread unprompted hate in strangers' inboxes. 💜

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i... uh. 🙈 why yes. yes, i do. my ao3 is all M/M, but i have written M/F for some other fandoms. it's fairly vanilla and not very kinky... FOR NOW. 😏 *cough Luminous Fall*

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so, and for anyone that HAS stolen someone else's work and claimed it as your own, disrespectfully fuck you. leave other peoples' intellectual property alone TY.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but when i first started scenes, someone did ask if they could translate it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

welllllllllllLLLLLLLLLLLL actually i'm working on a co-authored fic rn with @mvlionheart. Pornstar!Max AU. 🔥 it's a slower WIP, but it's our baby, and we wanna take our time to make it right. i'm very VERY excited about it. posting schedule TBD. ✨

What's your all-time favourite ship?

LOL. dramione. plz don't analyze me. 🤐

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

the main one i'm thinking of right now is a dark!AU ft. lestappen which entails a seedy contractual obligation which gives certain FIA-approved individuals free-use of drivers who finish P20. i'm fucked up, ok? 🫡 so yeah. that may not see the light of day, but... never say never.

What are your writing strengths?

i guess... dialogue and characterization...? maybe?

What are your writing weaknesses?

external conflict and conflict-resolution for sure. i feel like i'm good at the feeling part of things, the internal turmoil, but making things happen TO and AROUND characters that affect the story is one thing i've always been consistently called out to do more of.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if you like it, do it. and HOT TAKE 🔥: it's ok if i don't know what they're saying. i get there maybe be issues with grammar, tense, word choice, etc. that's not why i read fic. because the point isn't that i need to know the exact translation. the point is that i need to believe that character when they switch to their native tongue. i need to feel that they're so fucked out, in love, overwhelmed, embarrassed, scared, excited, sad, WHAT HAVE YOU... that the only thing they can possibly say is something in their own language. so yeah i said what i said. 🎤

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

tokio hotel. iykyk.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

maybe heartstopper. :) but i don't usually write underage characters.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

possibly this bottom!max fic: it's alright, babe. so much lestappen features top!max, and i wanted to give bottom!max some love. 💕

no pressure tags 🏷️: @fabbyf1 @chock-and-bates @saviour-of-lord