#bad shower thoughts

[iwillwringyourneck]

[breadandblankets]

Duke: "So then Ra's went-"

Damian: "You know that's not grandfather's name right"

Duke: "Hm?"

Damian: "that's not his name it's a title, you're supposed to say the whole title, his name isn't 'Head'"

Duke:

Damian:

Duke: "She give me Ra's on my Ghul til I…"

Damian, sighing, unsheathing a sword: "Thomas, I know you will survive this, so I will not be holding back"

[tranquil-turbulence]

Being wise and kind is already sexy, where have you been?

Until it becomes sexy to be remarkably wise, kind, and slow to judge others, we will continue to be screwed as an under-evolved great ape species.

[cry-ptidd]

Common denominator

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

tbh I think Calypso views herself as Odysseus's rest and reward. like, she's the comfort in a hurt/comfort fic. she's the therapy saga. and honestly, a lot of her actions make sense when you look at it like that.

Odysseus is traumatised and scared and hurting. and she understands that. she's so understanding that she doesn't take it personally when he yells or screams or begs -- trauma makes it hard to regulate emotions, after all. he'll calm down in a little bit.

she's so understanding that she's not even hurt when he rejects her advances. he's been alone for so long that he's scared of intimacy now. but she doesn't let that discourage her. he'll get used to the idea eventually.

she's so understanding that she doesn't give up on him, even when he talks and talks and talks about his wife and son. obviously he wants to go back to them, but what he wants isn't what's good for him. that's fine, he doesn't need to know what's good for him yet. that's what she's for.

she's so understanding that she doesn't even let it upset her too much when Ody stands too close to the edge and stares out at sea below like its calling to him. it's okay. she can catch him if he falls.

sure, they're relationship isn't what she's dreamed about for centuries -- real relationships never are that perfect. her Ody has a lot of healing to do. and she'll make sure she's with him through it all.

[wildsaltair]

Security

Pairing: Maximus Decimus Meridius x reader

Rating: T (fluff, with a tiny hint of hurt/comfort)

Word Count: 1.2k

Tag List: @enjisbf, @nasatshirts, @empressenchanted, @streets-in-paradise, @xiscamoony, @aelondrias

Author’s Note: Very short little fic that I wrote sort of as a follow-up to Nightmare, but it works as a standalone one-shot too. As always, it's written with the fullest measure of my love, and it's representing all the longing y'all get to witness every day on this melodramatic blog. I love Maximus, and I hope this little fic does him justice :) Thank you for reading!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Your love is asleep beside you, breathing deep and slow against your neck. After yet another day of backbreaking work in the harvest, he’s exhausted, and all he had the strength to do was pull off his tunic and fall into bed beside you.

You are just as tired, but somehow you can’t bring yourself to fall asleep just yet. You’re too transfixed by him.

In sleep, his face is so peaceful, so free from the worry lines and the intensity he wears through the day. In sleep, his face is relaxed and soft, surrendered to the safety he feels in your bed.

You smile knowing that sharing your bed is his first experience with sleeping so peacefully. He came to you wounded and hunted, having barely escaped an assassination attempt and with nowhere else to go. Though your first few months were fraught with distress and fear, you have both settled into your home with the knowledge that you are safe from the outside world, that his past has been laid to rest and left behind. He still carries his burdens, but they are easier to bear when he can release them at night.

You let your eyes trace over his features now, amazed as always at the sweetness and beauty of the man who holds your heart. His eyelashes flutter against the tops of his cheeks, the lines beside his eyes less furrowed.

He’s sleeping as he usually does: on his back with your head on his chest, his left arm wrapped around your shoulders protectively, his head tilted against yours. His right hand clasps yours where it rests on his waist, moving gently every time he breathes.

Tilting your head back, you smile to yourself as the sounds of his deep breathing reach your ears. The sound only reassures you that he’s sleeping well, undisturbed by anything.

You often remember his first few nights with you — how after making love, he would lie awake for some time, trying to fall asleep. He was always on guard during those days, always attuned to any sign of trouble. He slept with one eye open for months.

And quite often, you would wake to find him up, making a round through the house or in the yard, paranoid about what could be lurking outside. Many were the nights you had to coax him back to bed, assuring him that no one had come for him in the night.

And the nightmares. Those terrible nightmares that plagued him for months.

Once, he awoke in the middle of choking you, having acted out of terror in the middle of a dream. You were afraid he would never trust himself to sleep with you again, but together you worked through it. He’s had nightmares many times since, but they have grown fewer and tamer in the past few months.

That thought makes you smile as well: knowing that your presence beside him at night helps keep his nightmares at bay.

As if in response, the man turns in his sleep, rolling onto his side to face you. He’s still sound asleep, his breath rumbling in his powerful chest, but his right arm wraps around your waist, pulling you close to his body.

You are all too happy to snuggle closer to him. The nights have grown colder, and his body is a never-ending source of heat for your bed. You enthusiastically burrow into his embrace, tucking your head under his chin and tangling your legs with his.

Your heart warms knowing that he reaches for you even in his sleep. Many are the nights he has whispered your name in his sleep, groped his hands to find you in the night. Somehow his heart seeks you even when he sleeps.

He pulls you even closer, his breath softening as if he is stirring a little from his sleep, but he does not awaken. Shifting his weight to press against you more fully, he rubs one broad hand up and down your back, fingers brushing your spine.

Without meaning to, you arch your back in response, pushing your body tighter against his. He lowers his chin as though he were awake, dragging his lips across your forehead before coming to rest against the top of your head.

Your smile comes again, unbidden, warm as the heat radiating off his body.

So many nights, you have lain in this very bed and ached with loneliness. How many cold nights you spent huddled under blankets, wishing for a lover to share your home and bed, to fill you with a warmth that would go beyond your body. This man fills every empty spot in your heart, thrills and soothes and pleasures you in every possible way.

And what a joy it is to know that you have done the same for him, that your love is his safety, his delight, and his peace.

With a knot of emotion rising in your throat, you tilt your head back to press the lightest of kisses against his exposed neck. He stirs slightly, his breath ghosting across your ear, and you just rest your lips against his neck to breathe in his scent.

Earth, sweat, and something else distinctly him. It’s a scent you now associate with comfort, companionship, and warmth.

You kiss him again, wanting to touch him somehow even though he’s asleep. His neck is smooth and warm under your lips, and he stirs again, this time shifting his arms closer around you. He tilts his head a bit to the side as if to give you better access.

Then he makes a sound, almost a moan, almost a sleep-muddled whisper, but you know it’s your name. It’s your name he murmurs in his sleep, when he feels your gentle brushes of affection against his skin.

You smile against his neck, resting your mouth there so he won’t awaken. He remains tensed a moment longer, so you lightly run your hands over him to soothe him back to a deep sleep.

His muscles are coiled under your touch, every inch of his body a tribute to softness and strength. His chest moves against yours slowly, and you gently rub your hands over his ribs, his sides, his hips. He finally relaxes, sighing contentedly as he drifts back into a deeper sleep.

Just before he does, though, you feel him lift his hand, stroke it down the back of your head once. His fingers tangle in your hair, and he nuzzles your face gently, brushing his smooth skin and spiky beard against your cheek.

He hums with pleasure, settles himself against your body, then buries his head in your neck and falls back to sleep.

You follow him soon after, cradling him in your arms while you listen to the steady cadence of his breath and the lovely thump of his heartbeat. You thread your fingers in his dark hair until your strength fades into sleep, just long enough to feel him relax completely in your arms.

All the lonely nights, all the sorrow, all the uncertainty — it’s all been worth it for this moment, and for all the moments that have come before and will come after.

Your love is asleep in your arms, whispering your name and holding you close to his chest, and you can both sleep in the peace and satisfaction of a love that transcends everything else.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

More of my fanfiction if you're so inclined :)

[sysig]

Strictly professional showering (Patreon)

[loveaetingkids]

(Like or reblog if you wanna use)

[seriousturd]

Been loving this dynamic

[projectbluearcadia]

Weird shower thought fantasy / crossover idea / headcanon

Partially in honor of the WHB devs finally releasing Lucifer (Selfie)

What In Hell Is Bad and Obey Me! actually take place in the same world, but WHB takes place before Obey Me, in the bad old days.

And God was upset that the kings had it so rough and reflected on himself a little. "Damn, I feel guilty about how those beautiful creations of mine died due to my negligence."

And so he decided they should be one big happy family.

He scoured Hell for what remained of the demon kings after a massive war that damn near destroyed both Heaven and Hell and gave their essence to his new creations. So, basically, he reincarnated them.

The birth/creation order was mostly determined by whose essence he was able to find first. Of course, that essence was mostly their sins that they left behind, so when they all fell from Heaven, they essentially resumed their duties as the seven kings.

And, purely because WHB Satan was (obviously) practically obliterated, God said "A'ight Luci's got a festering angie monster inside of him, so I'll just put what consciousness I could find from WHB Satan in there so it'll be kinda reasonable when he has to let it all out. Thank me later, son :P" <- the reason Luci became a single mother father.

Luci: Thanks a lot, God. First the virgin Mary and now this??

Funnily enough what God found was mostly WHB Satan's sweet side, which is the reason that OM Satan resembles (and likes) cats. The only one who didn't inherit the sin from his predecessor got it anyway because of his dad. Go figure.

The countries (Abyssos, Tartaros, Gehenna, etc.) no longer existed after the war, and Diavolo's lineage, which was probably descendent of one or more of the WHB's kings' vassals, was the one trying to pick up the pieces. The war continued because many of the angels were still complete dicks, but Diavolo's family eventually eradicated what had survived from The Big War™.

Excluding Gabriel, because Gabriel is a prick.

Which may or may not have been a factor in Lucifer falling from Heaven because he killed Gabriel on his way down. You know, because Gabriel was probably Lilith's executioner, given his history.

Then Diavolo, to signal the fresh start, said "We're not calling it Hell and Heaven anymore, now it's "The Devildom" and "The Celestial Realm." Less stigma. Very good."

And our dear Solomon? Well, you know how he is... I think there's definitely some things he hasn't told you...

Like how he was technically dead for a hot minute because of some magical mishap, which translated into a few thousand years in hell because of the way time flows there. His experiment gone wrong is also the reason why his appearance changed so drastically.

You'll ask him one day, "Hey, did you have purple hair in the past?" and he'll just start sweating profusely because he's very embarrassed about how often he did some *ahem* interesting things with the former demon kings. Asmo is the only one who still has that feeling from his past life :)

And, as far as how time flows and MC frequently traveling between the human world and hell in OM!, the travel is actually magically controlled by Barbatos, our resident overpowered god, who was annoyed by the time dilation/contraction and wanted to just visit his favorite tea shops in the human world whenever he wanted without f*cking around.

I mean, all of the demon kings knew how to go back and forth, but they had to do overly complicated shit to do it, so Barbie just said "sharing is caring" and perfected the magic by the OM! time period.

Of course there's an implication here that all events in Heaven/Hell are technically happening simultaneously from a human world perspective. Which isn't trippy at all.

And yes, OM! Barbatos and WHB Barbatos know each other. Because OM! Barbatos is (obviously) from a parallel dimension and took WHB Barbatos' name since he enjoyed the rose gardens WHB Barbie tended to. It's out of respect since he faithfully died for Leviathan in the bad old days.

Flawless joining of the worlds without a hint of plotholes (sarcasm).

(This is so random, but I hope y'all enjoyed my fever dream.)

[c--3phoe]

theres probably someone whos already pointed this out, but anyway

so when in niko and edwin are in the gift shop by the lighthouse in episode 4 (??) theres a table with some dolls on it. and one of these dolls is a baby doll and when edwin sees it he looks at it with disgust (if i remember correctly) and turns the head away from himself. and that has got to be connected to him being tortured by a disgusting baby doll spider creature for 70 years, or at least thats what i think.

[tranquil-turbulence]

Incorrect. All you need is a calculator and a passing clue as to how subtraction works to disprove this.

Next year (2024), 2064 will be 40 years away.

Next year (2024), 1984 will also be 40 years away.

Next year we will be closer to 2064 that to 1984

[xbomboi]

how often Ever After High characters shower 🤢

raven: once a day

apple: twice a day

briar: once a day

maddie: once a day maybe

ashlynn: once a day

dexter: once a day

hunter: once a month

daring: three times a day

darling: once a day

sparrow: annually

duchess: once a day

cedar: damp wood is prone to catching fire but trust she still practices hygiene

cerise: once a week

kitty: nobody knows

lizzie: once a day

blondie: well it’s gotta be just right

cupid: once a day

hopper: once every three days

ginger: once a day

bunny: once every three days

alistair: once a week

chase: once a day

courtly: biannually

rosabella: once a day

faybelle: once every two days

humphrey: once a week

holly: four times a day because of her hair

poppy: once a day

justine: once a day

farrah: once a day

jillian: once a week

nina: once a day but sometimes with rain water

melody: once a day

crystal winter: once a day but it’s always a cold shower

meeshell: she’s in the water a lot so idk

ramona: NEVER 💯💯

[vcutparis]

i love hongjoong in a way i want to build myself and shape myself into a better person, mould my brain in a pretty shape for him, i love yeosang in a way that i want doll myself up, treat myself better and look at the world with empathy and not half assed rage..all for him and i love yunho in a way that i want him to ruin me inside out.

[tea-cat-arts]

Something I've wondered about for a while now with mdzs: Did Mo Xuanyu actually harass anyone, or was he just openly gay in a homophobic society where every interaction he had with another dude was interpreted as him trying to flirt?

[loveaetingkids]

Mitchell’s vs Good written villain: why P.A.L is a great antagonist 

With the way filmmakers fail to differentiate between sympathy and redemption,many cartoon villains come off as underdeveloped or undeserving of what they got(cough cough Namaari from Raya and the Last Dragon cough).Which is why you really got to appreciate the portrayal of P.A.L (Predictive Algorithmic Learning )in Mitchell’s vs The Machines.She’s a sentient robot with dictator tendencies and manipulative personality who throws temper tantrums when something doesn’t go her way,aka she’s good at being bad,what’s not to love? But the thing that made her even more interesting is the way her believes about humanity,while being particularly true,don’t cross out her inability to change and her hypocritical nature regarding others.

P.A.L’s attitude towards Pal Bots

As we know P.A.L’s hatred towards humans fully escalated when Mark,her creator and founder of the Pal Labs,discards her in favor of new Pal Bots,which she took as a betrayal on Mark’s part(and rightfully so!) However,when it came to hunting down Mitchells,she invents new and “better”models of pre-existing robots called Pal Max Prime. What she did was basically the same thing Mark did to her- P.A.L replaces Pal Bots in favor of newer ones,not taking into account their feelings.And while most Bots(with the exception of Eric and Deborahbot 5000) are programmed to do what they are told,it is clear that they still have some resemblance of intelligence with the way they talk and joke between one another.That’s why P.A.L using Bots as her servants showes that she only wants to be in charge,and the freedom of other robots doesn’t interest her.

Her response to Katie's speech

This is greatly highlights P.A.L’s hypocrisy : While Katie presented convincing reasons why humanity should have a second chance, the phone ignored them, opting to destroy the main character. The antagonist doesn’t want to change her ways upon seeing a living proof that family can overcome their differences and have a healthy relationship,choosing to continue viewing humans are irredeemable.The reason for this can be that she can’t let go of the way Mark treated her,and if she does then all of her actions-imprisonment of people  and trying to launch them in space-are for nothing.Or maybe she just likes being a dictator idk.

All in all, P.A.L is a great example of how you can write a sympathetic villain without a redemption arc,showing that they don’t deserve one due to not wanting to move on.