#why is it always in the shower

[projectbluearcadia]

Weird shower thought fantasy / crossover idea / headcanon

Partially in honor of the WHB devs finally releasing Lucifer (Selfie)

What In Hell Is Bad and Obey Me! actually take place in the same world, but WHB takes place before Obey Me, in the bad old days.

And God was upset that the kings had it so rough and reflected on himself a little. "Damn, I feel guilty about how those beautiful creations of mine died due to my negligence."

And so he decided they should be one big happy family.

He scoured Hell for what remained of the demon kings after a massive war that damn near destroyed both Heaven and Hell and gave their essence to his new creations. So, basically, he reincarnated them.

The birth/creation order was mostly determined by whose essence he was able to find first. Of course, that essence was mostly their sins that they left behind, so when they all fell from Heaven, they essentially resumed their duties as the seven kings.

And, purely because WHB Satan was (obviously) practically obliterated, God said "A'ight Luci's got a festering angie monster inside of him, so I'll just put what consciousness I could find from WHB Satan in there so it'll be kinda reasonable when he has to let it all out. Thank me later, son :P" <- the reason Luci became a single mother father.

Luci: Thanks a lot, God. First the virgin Mary and now this??

Funnily enough what God found was mostly WHB Satan's sweet side, which is the reason that OM Satan resembles (and likes) cats. The only one who didn't inherit the sin from his predecessor got it anyway because of his dad. Go figure.

The countries (Abyssos, Tartaros, Gehenna, etc.) no longer existed after the war, and Diavolo's lineage, which was probably descendent of one or more of the WHB's kings' vassals, was the one trying to pick up the pieces. The war continued because many of the angels were still complete dicks, but Diavolo's family eventually eradicated what had survived from The Big War™.

Excluding Gabriel, because Gabriel is a prick.

Which may or may not have been a factor in Lucifer falling from Heaven because he killed Gabriel on his way down. You know, because Gabriel was probably Lilith's executioner, given his history.

Then Diavolo, to signal the fresh start, said "We're not calling it Hell and Heaven anymore, now it's "The Devildom" and "The Celestial Realm." Less stigma. Very good."

And our dear Solomon? Well, you know how he is... I think there's definitely some things he hasn't told you...

Like how he was technically dead for a hot minute because of some magical mishap, which translated into a few thousand years in hell because of the way time flows there. His experiment gone wrong is also the reason why his appearance changed so drastically.

You'll ask him one day, "Hey, did you have purple hair in the past?" and he'll just start sweating profusely because he's very embarrassed about how often he did some *ahem* interesting things with the former demon kings. Asmo is the only one who still has that feeling from his past life :)

And, as far as how time flows and MC frequently traveling between the human world and hell in OM!, the travel is actually magically controlled by Barbatos, our resident overpowered god, who was annoyed by the time dilation/contraction and wanted to just visit his favorite tea shops in the human world whenever he wanted without f*cking around.

I mean, all of the demon kings knew how to go back and forth, but they had to do overly complicated shit to do it, so Barbie just said "sharing is caring" and perfected the magic by the OM! time period.

Of course there's an implication here that all events in Heaven/Hell are technically happening simultaneously from a human world perspective. Which isn't trippy at all.

And yes, OM! Barbatos and WHB Barbatos know each other. Because OM! Barbatos is (obviously) from a parallel dimension and took WHB Barbatos' name since he enjoyed the rose gardens WHB Barbie tended to. It's out of respect since he faithfully died for Leviathan in the bad old days.

Flawless joining of the worlds without a hint of plotholes (sarcasm).

(This is so random, but I hope y'all enjoyed my fever dream.)

[depressedbloggerwrites]

writing inspiration when it strikes at the most inconvenient time:

[arcanegifs]

PVRIS  — "Oil and Water"

"If you give me your cold shoulders I'll bravе the storm and keep my arms wide open We're oil and water, it's true But I still fall into you"

[t3acupz]

you know that scene where hannibal gets his blood drawn and that health insurance guy implies that hannibal might have hiv. it got me thinking about where hannibal fucks around with other men and it’s totally the pool where matthew tried crucifying him. he goes there after work. the place is super empty. he probably meets men there every once in a while to get his rocks off.

[jeremiahthefroge]

Hey so y'all know how Garroth asks Aph if she's sure about taking in Levin? Because her duties as a lord might get in the way? Do you ever think about how he was raised? And how maybe he's looking at Levin and seeing another kid who might suffer bc his parent is too busy being important to love him, and he's afraid? Because he knows (or at least REALLY wants to believe) Aphmau wouldn't do it on purpose, but then again, part of him still wants to believe his father didn't either? And the way he IMMEDIATELY volunteers to be in Levin's life, IMMEDIATELY steps up at every occasion, gets Zoey involved, ACTIVELY SAYS THAT HE KNOWS LEVIN WILL BE SOMETHING GREAT SOMEDAY TO OTHER PEOPLE?? He's making DAMN sure that kid has people in his life, and that the kid has somebody who unapologetically is proud and enthusiastic about him. I think he's making sure no kid ever has to grow up anything like he did.

[phayz]

i dont know what to say other than if you think all human bodies should smell like a spring breeze then you need to lower your standards. everybody sweats. everybody stinks. its called body odour because it comes from your body which, believe it or not, everyone has. some people are going to have BO even if they use fragrances and antiperspirant/deodorant. and if you think commenting on how bad somebody smells is a good idea then newsflash for you: it isnt. grow up.

[kellieintheclouds]

Happy hump day fuckers! 🐫

[seriousturd]

Happy Pride to that chase scene

[steph-anie723]

when im scrolling through a03 and I see a fic so bad i start staring at the screen like this mf

[cinematv]

RIVERDALE (2017 - 2023) 5x18 - 7x19

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Shit take no one wants but Danny wouldnt trust any of the batfam. Like not a one of them.

Boy isnt trained like they are to notice peoples habits and tiks but he has one hell or a vibe check. He can’t tell they are hiding something everytime one approached him to try and see if hes a mata and or alright.

Some of them are clearly not ok by a living human standard but Danny isnt gonna out himself to weird vibe strangers. He didn’t even tell his sister now did he? He probably would t have told(watch this) Tucker and Sam if they hadn’t of been there.

Now I aint sayin he wouldnt reach out as Phantom to like check on their ectoplasm and maybe help em out, lord knows Jason could use some helpin out in that department. I also aint sayin the batfam would figure him out, they do be smart. But if Danny is in Gothem and he comes across a Bat in gear and outta gear hes probably gonna put two and two together. I always operate on ghostking au so im assuming hes gotten better at recognising ecto signatures.

Lord knows if it’s Jason/redhood than hes gonna for sure notice that one.

[teddybeartoji]

can't tell whether i'm getting fucked by my non-existent period or i've just fallen into a Ditch face first

[transmechanicus]

Don’t usually show my natural hair so be grateful and sweet to me, m’kay?

[meownotgood]

no but aki gets so so sweet after you've had sex, he's unable to take his eyes off of you the whole time he's laying beside you and catching his breath. he's got the softest expression on his face, he's smiley and giddy, his cheeks are warm. he hugs you close and kisses your forehead, he asks you what he can do for you and you're not afraid to say it because you know aki wants nothing more than to give you everything you ask for.

[ask-thearchivists]

Earth is a terrestrial planet, despite 70% of it's surface being covered in water. It has a molten iron core, and has existed for about 4.5 billion years. It's the third planet out from it's star (a yellow dwarf).

The Cartologist: Oooh, interesting, is there more?

The Cartologist: Oh, is that what the song about cheese comes from?

The Coordinator: Yes, mortal planets that have had life for a long time do tend to experience multiple extinction events, which is one of the reasons it is important we tend to our duties.

[snail-studios]

Always showering this showering that do you guys not have baths. Where do you clean yourself and hide the secret mermaid you've fallen in love with who is too injured by the rival fisherperson's harpoon to go out into the ocean and now must live in your bathtub until they're properly healed but they don't want to go because you're close now so you must find a potion that will turn YOU into a mermaid so you can live out in the ocean for the rest of your life.....you need a bathtub for that