#bad sex ed makes sex bad

[lem0nademouth]

sometimes i want to cry with anger at all of the lies i was told about having sex as someone with a vagina. i was told by multiple people that you can’t cum just from oral sex if you have a vagina. i was convinced for YEARS that penetration was required to orgasm if you have a vagina. i was told that painful penetration was normal. i was told you didn’t need lube for vaginal penetration because vaginas are self lubricating. i was told so many bullshit things that made sex horrible and unenjoyable and at times traumatic for no other reason than “you having a vagina is too much work for your partner”. what the fuck.

[itsbait]

if you write ed nashton/the riddler as an aggressive, confident dom thats experienced (somehow) and actually knows what hes doing and calls the reader shit like "baby" You are going to super hell. he is not strumming your clit like a harpist at the london philharmonic orchestra he is sweating through his excessive layers the second you get a hand on him and ejaculating in his pants and finding a way to blame you for it so he doesnt die of embarassment from being the clammy involuntary celibate virgin loser that he is. You do not fuck with him like i do. Poser.

[marzipanandminutiae]

You posted about getting married young, and I just wanna say thank you? I got really lucky and met THE woman when we were 17, and engagement is in the horizon for us at 22, 23. Sometimes it gets to me when people say we're wasting our youth, it's nice having someone batting for us

Also love the pfp, carmilla fans are still alive and well and if you've got any fanfic recs lmk

Congrats! I hope it works out for you. (I would say "girl" at 17, not "woman," but I assume it's just a random word choice since it sounds like you're the same age, so not a big deal.)

While I of course don't advocate for child marriage- ie marriage below age 18, and really I think 20+ is wiser -the whole "date around or you're Wasting Your Youth!!!" narrative pisses me off, like I said. I grew up with that shoved down my throat to the point where I believed my own desires to just meet the right girl and stay with her forever were just youthful romanticism; that I'd "mature" and want to date more people instead of wanting to settle down. (And for some people that is the trajectory! And that's fine! Just...not everyone.)

When your mother got so lost in the Swinging Sixties sauce during her own teen years that she goes too far the opposite way of most parents, I guess?

Yeah, someone might regret a young marriage. But they might regret ANY marriage- that's just a risk you take when you get married. Trusting people to know their own minds in relationships that present no actual red flags is important, even for teenagers. Teaching young people not to trust their own (harmless) emotions and desires for their lives because it doesn't match what you'd have them do seems horribly backwards to me. It's a dangerous precedent to set for them.

When I was 16, I thought I'd be perfectly happy if I married a girl I met at that age- when we were older, of course. Now I'm 30, and guess what? I still think that. I would have been satisfied. Hell, I wish that had happened. It's not right for everybody, but it would have been right for me.

I hope things work out for you two!

[mybreadsmybutters]

university friendslessness so chronic when the “do you want to come join our christain club on campus???” people approached me i unironically considered it for like 20 seconds

[idiolex]

fellas weigh in is it gay to weep in despair when you hear your best friend having gay sex with his new best friend

[raeofgayshine]

Wish there was a way to begin to explain what happened tonight during stream because there’s some kind of gold in Jim thinking that Riddler is fairy (like tinkerbell) but everyone else just thinks he’s calling Ed a slur and the pipeline it leads down, connecting to Bruce thinking babies come from kissing, all the way to Jim asking Ed and Oswald if Tim was “their fairy baby and Tim telling Steph “I think Jim just called me a fairy.” Steph: “sorry you had to find out this way, but we all kind of knew.”

[prettyboykatsuki]

hi fang i've been following you for a while but i don't think i can remember you talking about preforming oral on amab people so i was wondering if you had any tips or pointers? only if it doesn't make you uncomfortable! or if you don't know that's okay too. thanks :)

hi!

ill be honest, don't know if im the best for advice on this. i have definitely sucked dick before lmao and ive been told im good but my sexual history is mostly afab folks so im a lot more confident in those abilities which seems. backwards when i think about it too long but that's okay

but i do think sucking dick is simpler because all dicks are relatively the same in terms of like what feels good. everybody is diff of course but there's not as much to worry abt imo

first off, with anything foreplay is key. kissing up the shaft and long licks up it are great. cupping the balls gently and massaging them both before and during tends to feel good - don't be too forceful since its sensitive.

in general, please don't worry about deep-throating. ESPECIALLY IF UR UNUSED TO IT. i think this tends to be what makes people anxious but it's not necessary like. at all to give a good blowjob. it can be something you work towards (and if you really want to or are curious, press down on your thumb w ur fingers it gets rid of my gag reflex entirely) but it's not necessary.

generally - you'll want to focus sucking on and around the head. use your hands for the rest of the shaft / what you can't get to. stick your tongue out and try to be mindful of your teeth (this is one of those things that will get easier with practice, but sucking in your lips and cheeks to cover your teeth as you give head will prevent contact. not sure how else to explain it) pressure will depend on the person. i think just enough so that your not easily like pulled off is usually fine

it needs to be SLOPPY in general. a lot of spit is your friend and the more there is the better. drooling and being a little messy is going to happen. your giving head not serving face so dw about it. make sure u stick ur tongue out for like coverage

the frenulum is the most sensitive part generally. using your tongue on it. it's about an inch under the head where the skin sort of meets. pay attention to it and focus the sucking on there. wrap your hands around the shaft w a bit more pressure + plenty of spit

other tips are pretty straight forward. eye contact and enthusiasm in any sexual scenario is your friend so utilize it. it can be a little strenuous so if you need a break, play with the balls or just use your hands. some people need to fuck your mouth a bit to get off but that doesn't mean ur throat so a little shallow thrust will b okay.

don't stop as they start to cum, but during and while. like riding out the orgasm basically. u dont have to swallow but if you want to, relax your throat and take it deeper so you dont have to taste it.

im probably missing some stuff but this is what comes to mind first on how to give a good blowjob / what stuff is important and has gotten people to cum from head

hope this helps a bit!!! people feel free to chime in the replies

[unopenablebox]

man i understand that things change and people genuinely grow apart or develop new problems and i don’t want to be too much of a dick about it because It Could Happen To Me etc and also idk kind of did or whatever

but at this point i’ve lived with my current partner for the better part of five years and i don’t find pretty much anything about them annoying and one of the most exciting things that happens to me on a semi-regular basis is when i am out doing something by myself and run into them unexpectedly, because it is simply so great to be around them basically all the time.

and while it is easy to date someone who is mostly fine but turns out to not actually be compatible with your goals desires or communication capacity, it’s also possible to notice you’re doing that and break up with them before you start fantasizing about their job transferring them to the antarctic every time they ask you for something. and i kind of just feel like people who say “yeah by the time you’re with someone for a decade you resent them deeply no matter what” have failed to execute this step

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

love corrupted children's characters <3

[x-letsbreaksomerules-x]

I feel like i know all the necessaries to have good, safe sex but after that post you reblogged i would like to know what tips and advice you wish you were given for your first time, if you dont mind ofc 😅

I don’t know if i really have like ‘tips’ or advice. i think the main thing i was trying to convey with my tags was that, at least for me, all the ‘correct’ things to do didn’t prepare me for how emotionally intense having sex can be. I think i also struggled with communicating with my first partner, and that will ruin it. Above all else being able to hold an open conversation is the most important thing, not just saying the right words, but really being able to put them into action. That one has been said a million times but i had to learn the hard way how important that is.

But, to kind of reiterate, i think something that isn’t conveyed enough in like really basic sex ed(like courses that cover consent and contraceptives) is that sex is bonding, emotionally and physically and also on a chemical level. Some people will experience ‘crashes’ after sex, because emotions can get high and then they’re over and things will hit all at once. Sometimes something can feel really good in the moment too, but later you might not be so sure about it(which is where being able to have a good continual conversation about sex comes into play). I wish sex ed courses taught some kind of aftercare too, i don’t think aftercare should be seen as just a BDSM thing. Sometimes people need extra time and care after even vanilla sex and this needs to be part of the conversations you’re having with your partner. In general i think people focus a lot on how sex works, and not how it feels. It doesn’t work the same for everyone and not everyone is going to have strong emotions, but its common enough that it warrants like more discussion in my mind.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

I really want Stede to be good in the sack for his own benefit. Like someone who has never been treated as desirable, absolutely Rocking Ed’s World? It’s a win/win. Ed gets maximum pleasure and Stede gets an ego boost.

ok the best thing is tho that stede doesn’t have to be objectively good in bed to rock ed’s world because stede has the power of true love on his side

like i do think they eventually get to stede learning how exactly to fuck ed and stede having a massive ego boost just knowing that HE can do that to ed at literally any time and that ed wants him so fucking bad. but there’s gonna be a little bit of a learning curve, for BOTH of them tbh. stede might need to start with the basics but ed’s gotta learn to let himself be taken care of, too

[surpriserose]

sorry i cant think about how bad sex ed is in America without blowing up and yes this is colleen hoovers fault

[deadandwalking]

if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying

[tardigradetheking]

you know usually I'm against the antikink crowd but I definitely agree that there is something wrong with people who sexualize mental illness

nothing fills me with more rage than when a man says he likes “mentally ill” women or women with “daddy issues”.

what he means is a woman who has been hurt, who has been emotionally neglected, who has deeply-rooted feelings of inadequacy, and is desperate for relief from all of this.

this man has no empathy for her. he sees her as an easy target, someone he can walk all over. he gets off to taking advantage of her vulnerability and leaving her more scarred than she already was.

this type of predator just wants someone who won’t fight back when mistreated and has an idea in his head that this is what she deserves.

[sensitivegoblin]

my phone is crapping out so i might be unreachable for a bit, im logged in on my laptop but i cant promise ill get messages as fast as i did before

[weirdgirlvampire]

They need to stop making every tv show like every other tv show