#bad sex ed gets people assaulted

[lem0nademouth]

sometimes i want to cry with anger at all of the lies i was told about having sex as someone with a vagina. i was told by multiple people that you can’t cum just from oral sex if you have a vagina. i was convinced for YEARS that penetration was required to orgasm if you have a vagina. i was told that painful penetration was normal. i was told you didn’t need lube for vaginal penetration because vaginas are self lubricating. i was told so many bullshit things that made sex horrible and unenjoyable and at times traumatic for no other reason than “you having a vagina is too much work for your partner”. what the fuck.

[barbiegirldream]

just so fucking strange like dream being a little bit (💀) of a slut isnt… new information 😭😭 nor is it bad information hes a flirt we have known this i see some people act as if he is satan himself for hoeing around and acting like it makes him the most abusive misogynistic person alive and im just like???? is this yalls first day alive or😭😭???

these are the people who think a hand on the waist is sexual assault which I am really asking them to go explain to their parents and see how fast they get a sex ed and safety talk

[chaifootsteps]

Oh my god, finally! I've been wanting to post here for a few days.

I'm the author of that infamous fanfic. And I wanted to say, unrelated to Hazbin, that the documentary and Drake's story, coupled with his new music video "I Kinda Relate" is the most heartbreaking and empowering thing I've ever seen. I bawled my eyes out the entire day that I found it.

In the first 28 seconds, Drake heavily implies, but doesn't show, his abuse that he suffered at the hands of his rapist, Brian Peck (who also was penpals with none other than John Wayne Gacy.)

I wanted to do nothing but hug that poor little boy, and to hug the man he is now. I want to tell him that he's beautiful and strong and brave for coming out. Male CSA victims rarely ever do. Could you imagine telling Drake then or now, that he's a *loser*? Could you imagine going about his abuse the way Viv did with Husk and Angel? He literally made his own music video that was much more tactful and empowering than Loser Baby ever will be.

I also have dirt on Dan S and that whole fucking pedo ring (I know a LOT of people in this industry. I also helped take down an ACTUAL ZOO AND PEDOPHILE with a decent amount of power a few years back.) And for anyone still confused about Drake, the girl he messaged lied about her age and he never did anything physical with her. He still acknowledges he's fucked up (please watch his hour long interview and music video) but he's "bound to make it right".

I also just want to say, to a CERTAIN PERSON, that comparing the objectively fetishisized abuse (I'm a CSA victim and into noncon), to fucking SEX ED FOR CHILDREN, is the absolute most fucking garbage and vile take I've ever seen. Poison is NOT educational. It is fetish content for Viv and Raph and others like them. If survivors and fans can turn something objectively negative into something subjectively positive, all the power to them.

Again, into noncon and a CSA victim. I also don't want to see stans taking this and telling me I'm invalid for critiquing Viv and Raph (already dealt with that in my damn fic.) I have been raped/sexually assaulted/groomed/groped/strangled/pinned down/dragged around as a child and NO ONE is ever going to tell me I'm a hypocrite or that I'm wrong for my feelings on this issue. Especially when I also have friends and my own mother as SA and CSA victims as well.

Someone like myself, or like Drake Bell, do NOT need to see how explicitly horrid our abuse was/is to understand how bad it is. I personally had panic attacks watching the episode, and having the knowledge of Raph being an unapologetic rape fetishist, was all I needed to know that that entire episode was fetish content. It's basically an adaptation of Raph's Red Smoke comic. Nearly word for word too. I've written and consumed so many stories over the years to know exactly what's going in their heads.

You know how you actually help a victim? You have friends and family and a therapist help you get out of that situation. Husk "helping" Angel was not the way to go about it.

And I've seen fans argue whether or not Viv is a rape fetishist (she is), but if she wasn't, why is she so adamant on keeping an unapologetic rape fetishist on her staff? He's confirmed to be working on season 2 (God I'm gagging thinking about it) and why does she like so much art (no hate to the artists) of sexy, fetishisized, hot, and sad art of Valentino? If he's supposedly based off HER abusive experience, why does she coddle, woobify, and downplay and sexualize him so much??? I wouldn't base a rapist character or write a rapist character as a fucking "high school Mean girl".

I'm sorry this got so long, but fuck man... it's so fucking disgusting.

Anyways, please watch this. It's got more tact and heart than fucking Poison will ever have. Drake Bell, my heart goes out to you. CSA victim to CSA victim. I hope you get better and can heal. And that goes for all victims as well. 💜🫂 (You too, Chai.)

And Brian Peck, and any and all other rapists, can burn alive in a grease fire. Val included.

https://youtu.be/I5gh8rAVLkI?si=B2eny2U4GZRgDZ7t

https://youtu.be/nSzk-MsVKqA?si=6D4rEihu89Yom7YG

Well said as always, Anon, and thank you for this.

Also, definitely seconding Brian Peck burning up in a grease fire.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Hi there! Of course feel free to ignore this if it's genuinely distressing. I just... If it's just a memory and you could manage to satiate my curiosity, I'd absolutely love to read more about that hateful blog dedicated to you. The FMA fandom? (I suck at fandom, or I do it very well, because I never, ever, get drama unless I purposely go looking for it, like now). Have a great day 🫶

I don't really remember much about it, but the context is that when I was in my very early 20s I was a FMA manga/Brotherhood fan that really didn't like FMA 2003. FMA fandom was extremely dramatic at the time, especially about the 03 and Brotherhood split, and I was extremely dramatic too, so there were a lot of arguments. I was also a fairly popular blog at the time (my star has fallen a bit in the same way Tumblr's did), so yeah, I attracted a lot of haters. The drama was INTENSE. It was the era of tumblr where a lot of identity politics of who had the right to talk about genocide and sexual assault and anime in general and all kinds of things. I actually felt the need to disclose my experiences with assault because people thought I didn't have a "right" to discuss my dislke for the rose plotline in 03 otherwise.

A n example of how unhinged things would was some woman who was very anti manga and that probably had something going on, who went on this rant about how I was a horrible person and triggered her when I made a joke post about Ed and Winry (as adults.like they were in the epilogue) having sex (not directed at her! just my own post on my own blog) because talking about sex was bad or something, and she also told my fandom mutual at the time she deserved to shit a knife or something like that. My mutual ended up leaving tumblr all together.

Eventually someone made a 'canyoustoptalking' blog aimed towards me. I think there were only a few posts on it going on about my FMA opinions but it very much freaked me out at the time.

Someone also edited quotes of mine on Envy macros, as a really weird way to mock me,.

Not completely related (it involved kill la kill. which was a way more ridiculous thing. ) but eventually I realized this was damaging my mental health when I couldn't stop shaking and breathing weird even two hours later at the grocery store. I took a short haitus after that, and later when I was back on the horse and googling something in my blog, I saw a post at a completely different forum like "do you think adventuresofcomicbookgirl was really having mental health issues im worried' and 'nah she's probably exaggerating to sheild herself"and I became extremely distressed at the idea people were seething and shitalking me all over in places I couldn't see.

So yeah, don't want to go back to those days.

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Even rewatching Gotham years later I find it like…difficult to fully invest in the A plot. Like Harvey is a shitty person and it’s impossible to disagree with antagonists through the seasons who say it because literally he’s a violent cop who assaults people and he threatened to beat a very pregnant Barbara like no I’m not gonna feel bad he’s sad.

Same issue with Jim like his infected arc was super confusing because I just never got the killer verge of being a villain thing for him and I hate Tetch Lee was just obsessed with boning Jim or how Sofia was obsessed with Jim or how Barbara no matter what was always obsessed with Jim.

Just the A plot was typically just here are some mildly interesting white dudes being shitty cops and one of them gets fucking upset when women he’s engaged to try and hold his hand in public cause what if people think he’s yknow having sex with hot women who could do better.

The Bruce plots aren’t a lot better which it doesn’t help in 98% of Batman content I don’t like Batman. Which is it’s own thing.

Sooo really the villains are the only highlight of the show because with villains that was the only time this show actually at length explored morality. What makes somebody good or bad, what does it mean to be a bad person? Nurture vs nature, are you born bad, are you shaped that way? Also interesting family dynamics etc.

Like the B plots were always so fucking good because the antagonists could be complex and layered.

Also the wardrobe for villains was the fucking best. Sofia, Lee, Oswald, Selina, Tabitha, and Ed had the best fucking looks especially in seasons three and four like dear fucking god. They looked great.

While Jim and Bruce and Alfred and Lucius just dress fine.

[youremyheaven]

i'm a different anon but girl, i'm so sorry that happened to you. i had the same first time experience as you and i wholeheartedly agree w/ your advice. don't sleep w someone just to not be a virgin bc being one isn't even a bad thing & it's infinitely better than having to heal from such an intimate form of assault especially when it's the only sexual experience you know. personally i'm still healing from it & it seems like it will just last forever. if you don't mind me asking since i know it's a sensitive topic, is there anything in particular that has helped you heal? i'm sending you a lot of warmth & love ❤️🫂

hi love<3

thank you, i appreciate it <3 and im sending u the same love and healing✨

in some ways i am still healing from that experience even though it was almost a decade ago. more than the memory of it, its the physical and emotional repercussions it had on me that were challenging to navigate, for a long time after that i thought i was asexual, lost my libido, lost touch with my femininity and compounded by many other abusive experiences made me avoid the mirror entirely.

for me what truly changed my whole life was yoga and meditation. specifically yin yoga, women carry a lot of tension in their hips and practicing yin yoga (there are many yin yoga, hip release flow type guided videos on YT if you search for them!!) helped my body feel so loose and fluid and relaxed?? i didnt know how stressed my muscles were until i realized what true relaxation felt like. i remember those initial days of practice, i felt such a profound emotional release as well, like a weight was leaving my chest. relearning sensuality, feeling comfortable in embodying it and reframing sex and my perspective towards it has been a slow journey and some of it is easier than others. but i am doing sooo much better than i was before. meditation also really helped me feel more safe and comfortable in my body and not feel like i had to always be on the lookout for danger or assess other people's intentions. keep in mind, these are not things you can expect overnight changes from. you have to be patient and disciplined and just do it without any expectation. eventually it gets easier. also it keeps you more in tune with your body and intuition and helps with knowing what situations or people to avoid.

i have also been practicing tantric meditation and it has also helped me immensely but i think you should approach tantra after you've reached a point of healing and peace bc tantra can awaken some powerful energies and it can be a lot to handle.

taking care of myself has also helped me. its so funny how when i was struggling with my ed, body dysmorphia and numerous other issues, i did nothing to make myself feel good bc i didnt think i deserved it but by doing things (it can be as simple as applying lotion after a shower, whatever self care habits that make you feel good about yourself!!) that make me feel good, i feel good??? its like those people who say 'omg im so lazy i cant do the dishes' but the truth is you feel lazy bc you havent done the dishes so if you do the dishes you wont feel lazy. i hope this weird analogy makes sense lol. basically do things that feel good and you will feel good, it sounds really basic and almost stupid but i feel like most people wait until they've "earned" it or are "worthy" but the truth is doing it is what will make you feel like you deserve it, if u catch my drift.

anywaaayyys thats all, <333

[maimndevour]

i think it’s time we have the conversation about safe sex and the consequence (not necessarily all bad) of kink and contraception for everybody. yea, this includes teenagers. the more we put off teaching safe practices and knowledge that people require to prevent STDs, unwanted pregnancies, and natural consequences of trauma - the more we doom younger generations.

teenagers- while still kids and minors in most countries- do get into a lot of trouble if not taught properly. this is not to blame them. mistakes are not a crime or a reason to blame people that have a lack of knowledge. this is a time in young people’s lives to explore who they are, what they like, who they like and what works for them. i think it goes without saying that teenagers deserve to talk to therapists and other people in their age range about sex and kink before actually engaging in it. sex education, if you wanna call it that - is so important. i didn’t know that it wasn’t something to be ashamed of- i had no idea the risks and the things i could explore safely.

the problem arises when predators infiltrate these safe spaces. when victim blamers, when unmonitored accounts, when predators push kids out of their own spaces or take advantage of them. teenagers should not have to; “be aware of creeps” or “keep it to yourself”. the healthy part of sexuality requires you to be able to ask questions and get answers that will protect you or prevent misinformation from spreading.

I wish i had known what assault was. i wish i knew the different ways it could happen. i wish i could be aware that i didn’t need to practice kink a certain way- or be surrounded by people that wanted to hurt me. that i shouldn’t be ashamed of sex. i was a teenager, and i grew up with poor and nearly non existent sex ed. i was surrounded by kids who might of not known any better because of their past- but we all deserved to know safe practices. that there was nothing wrong with us for having sex or wanting it

my point is: teenagers should have better sex ed that mentions the practice of kink and potentially harmful things and how to care for themselves. not to prey upon them, not to scar them- to keep them safe. sex is not dirty, you are not dirty. self exploration is normal. assault is not love, or “lack of communication”, or your fault, or your responsibility to handle alone

[cazort]

Today one of my friends shared a post about masturbation, from Planned Parenthood's Instagram page, onto her stories, and it brought up a lot of emotions for me. The post was generally positive and educational, and I liked it, but when I looked at it, there were a lot of negative comments saying negative things about masturbation. It was mostly from men and they were saying a lot of stuff about how masturbation is bad and unhealthy, and it was totally unscientific, just this sort of knee-jerk, uneducated sex negativity, baseless assertions.

And I'm like, where does this stuff even come from? It's not even people framing it in religion any more. Most people in our society have rejected religion, for better or for worse, but even in a strictly secular setting these sex-negative attitudes live on. It's clearly not caused by religion; some religious groups I've been a part of have actually been more sex-positive than the broader culture even. I don't get it.

It's so frustrating. I remembered how the surgeon general Jocelyn Elders was basically forced to resign from her post in 1994, after making (IMHO very reasonable and wholesome) comments advocating for teaching about masturbation in schools.

And I'm like, thinking, it's been over 29 years since that happened, and we're still sitting here with this society that is too uptight for a pro-masturbation post on public social media.

And I'm just so fucking sick of it. It's so fucking dumb. Like I'm sorry I'm all cursing and shit but like...I've lived in this fucking uptight as shit world so fucking long and I fucking hate it. I fucking hate how sex negative the culture in the US is. I didn't ever agree to this shit.

Like...I went to a high school where teen pregnancy was rampant. I know people who were raped as teens by other teens. This stuff happened because people weren't taught about basics like STI prevention, pregnancy prevention, and consent and assertion of boundaries. We fucking need sex ed, real, comprehensive sex ed that teaches about everything. And like...masturbation is part of this. It is safe and healthy and going around teaching that masturbation is bad and wrong and harmful is just stupid. When you have a bunch of teenagers legit thinking that masturbation is physically and/or mentally harmful to them, it leads to all sorts of wasted mental energy and dysfunction, people masturbating and feeling guilty about it, people getting molested or abused or sexually assaulted or raped and being manipulated into keeping silent about it because of the culture of shame surrounding sex, and people not knowing anything about their own sexual response or the basics of how their body works and rushing into sex when they're not even comfortable touching their own genitalia. All sorts of absolute insanity.

And like...here is this eminently sane internet post challenging all this garbage, and there are all these adults commenting all seriously about how masturbation is bad blah blah blah. And I'm like gag me with a spoon, go back to the 1950's. Send me their income tax brackets while you're at it too, we do a trade, take all the sex negative crap back there and get the progressive tax brackets back.

That's the world I want to live in.

Meanwhile our world here? the masturbation tag is still banned on Tumblr. If I want to talk about this I have to find ways to paraphrase it or talk around it. I'm so sick of it. @staff I am a paying subscriber, I care about this stuff. Can you stop the censorship?

[asherisawkward]

Please note that this is very much a rant about their school system that deals with/mentions topics like grooming, sexual assault/abuse, pedophilia, and the sex education system as a whole.

If any of these topics are triggering or upsetting for you, do not read this post.

Considering a post I just reblogged on banned books and sex education, I figured I’m going to make a post explaining my stance on this, so I can point people here if I ever get asks about this kind of stuff.

I went to a middle of the country school when I was in middle school and my first year of high school, but it definitely was smaller and had a southern vibe. If that makes no sense, look up “Tornado Alley,” and that’s about where I was.

My school system did two years of middle school and four years of high school, and I had some sex education. Rather, I had one class period per year in middle school. I went through this class twice.

It did not teach anything substantial about sex. It did not explain what reproductive organs were or how they worked; it did not explain what sex was; it did not teach me about how to use a condom or even what one was. It did not teach me about consent or what rape and sexual abuse or assault. I didn’t even know what that was.

Do you want to know what I learned?

I learned about some STIs/STDs. The guy showed pictures of them in class and explained the symptoms entirely through sickening food comparisons that have left me having trouble eating/looking at any of those foods today (example: he compared syphilis to pepperoni) He did made no actual attempt to explain how they were contracted (beyond “I told [name] not to lick the pepperoni; he licked the pepperoni”) or where they originated from.

You know what else he taught me?

Apparently, sex felt good.

I had no understanding of what any sort of sexual assault/abuse was, and my basic reaction to the vague concept I was aware of was, “just run away.” (An incredibly toxic and victim-blaming mindset that I am ashamed of to this day.) If I had been in a situation where I was being raped or groomed or in a situation akin to that, I would not have known what was happening to me was wrong and needed to be reported. Fortunately, I wasn’t.

And, for the record, my boyfriend had to explain to me how sex works when I was sixteen, because I still didn’t know. And that supposedly helpful sex ed did nothing to help me.

About the same time my boyfriend explained to me how things actually worked in the bedroom, when I was still sixteen, I met a man who visited the neighborhood occasionally because he had a job in lawn maintenance. He was always friendly to me whenever we met. I didn’t know his name, but I saw him when I went on walks around the neighborhood, and we exchanged pleasantries. I thought he was nice.

He had the habit, whenever we saw each other from afar, of blowing kisses to me. I thought he was trying to be grandfatherly. I didn’t knew what it was, and I still don’t really know what to classify it as.

One day, he approached me in his truck and started speaking to me. He asked me my name and if I had a boyfriend. I gave my name and said yes. He told me I was pretty and he liked me. Then he asked me if I wanted to have sex. This man was in his fifties or sixties, and I’ve been mistaken by people for being a couple years younger than I am. There was no way he could have thought I was an adult. I had mentioned going to high school sometimes when we had taker before.

I walked back home, terrified that he would drive by me, throw me in the back of the car, and I’d end up assaulted and eventually dead in a ditch. He didn’t, but I was terrified the entire time.

I wish I had known this stuff sooner, and I didn’t even experience anything that bad. Knowing about It wouldn’t have stopped that from happening, but maybe I could have seen that a man in his fifties or sixties blowing kisses at a sixteen year old kid was not normal.

Imagine how it could have helped for people who go due experience trauma and weren’t lucky the way at I was. People could have figured out the signs of abusive partners or figured out that behaviors indicators of grooming or predatory behavior. It would allow people to know what to report to authorities.

To sum up the product of my ranting/venting; sex education is just as important aspect of of growing up as secular education, and it is vital for the prevention, report, and punishment of abuse and assault.

[obstinaterixatrix]

(semi?) local politics, sexual assault ment

so the state introduced a thing that’s really popular about banning people in the process of being charged for sexual assault or who are already on the sex offender registry from schools, and it’s been getting a lot of support because it *sounds* good but in actuality will one hundred percent be used to reinforce the school to prison pipeline, and a human rights org is sending email campaigns with stuff like ‘care not cages! keep kids in school!’ without actually explaining the whole concept and it’s kind of pissing me off because the dinky little email campaign/petition doesn’t ACTUALLY clarify that this has to do with sexual assault, which *I* think is absolutely necessary context because if you lead with ‘we’re protecting kids!’ people would mindlessly support that, and if they follow up and find out the context ‘this is about sexual assault’ they might mindlessly support that, but if you give the FULL CONTEXT of ‘this proposition looks good on the surface because it presents as protecting past and potential victims of sexual assault by preventing fellow students with sexual assault investigations from attending school, but 1) these laws practically always disproportionately affect people of color, 2) the sex offender registry is a flawed system which, last I checked, still includes people from when being gay was a crime, 3) if a student is an offender, this actually locks them into the school to prison pipeline by practically ensuring they won’t be able to finish school, thus removing opportunities and adding barriers, thus increasing the likelihood of trapping the student in the prison industrial complex at an early age, 4) I’d have to dig it up but I’m pretty sure BYSTANDER INTERVENTION TRAINING and having COMPREHENSIVE SEX ED, including relational health and consent, does a better job of reducing rates of rape/assault, 5) I think there are better ways of protecting the victims of sexual assault that doesn’t perpetuate violent state institution, like it doesn’t seem very restorative justice and it doesn’t have any room for the victim’s input (which makes sense since it’s about state law) but I’d imagine requiring the transfer to a different school, while disruptive, would be a better alternative to banning a student who is an offender from school altogether (although I’d imagine it depends on severity of offense) (BUT LIKE, AGAIN, in cases of sexual assault it is most common that the victim and offender have a prior relationship, so there isn’t really protection to future victims by removing the student from schools, and I didn’t see any avenue for rehabilitation) anyway all this to say I know the campaign is trying to avoid the bad faith framing of ‘we are advocating for rapists to be in school’ but I think they need to be able to equip(/educate) on the legitimate arguments for why police/prison based intervention is overall detrimental (especially since the advocates have an extremely easy argument of ‘we’re keeping rapists out of schools’) (we need to BRING the nuance, not try to gloss over it)

[ceasarslegion]

Honestly on the note of that last reblog im also tired of people viewing sex and sexuality as something that is only ever appropriate "behind closed doors." I dont know man, i dont think youre as sex positive as you claim to be if you just broaden the definition of what you're allowed to hide.

I am a very sexual person, just in general. My sexuality is a huge part of my identity and personality and yes, that includes all those nasty kinky fetishes that get in the way of soft uwu vanilla sex. I own sex toys, I have bdsm gear, I own artwork of human bodies in sexual contexts. I've had casual hookups and one-night stands and friends with benefits and I've been tested for STIs multiple times. I find sex extremely enjoyable and I experience very strong sexual attraction. And it's literally fine, it's fine. It's no more better or worse than prefering vanilla missionary with one partner

I should be able to talk about my own experiences and preferences regarding sex as much as anyone else does because there's nothing wrong with me for prefering it a different way than the socially acceptable norm. I'm not fucking assaulting anyone, everyone involved is still a fully consenting adult. I'm not a pervert for owning 50s style pin up art just because I find the naked form attractive and I love that art style. It's fine if you don't like it, but don't assume horrid things of those of us who do.

You wanna expand sex ed, you need to include people like me. Along with teachings of consent and queer identities you also need to teach teenagers that in a lot of contexts sex isn't this huge fucking deal and it's okay to just do it because you want to if that consent is provided. That casual sex and friends with benefits and "deviant" kinks aren't bad and you aren't a bad or disgusting person if that's how you prefer to engage in sex.

It's such a weird paradox: demanding an adult's sex life be this secretive hush-hush thing while simultaneously demanding to know if it's not the right thing to be secretive about.

[halfelven]

csa warning

additional thoughts related to the post yesterday about my book

oh and what i was trying to get at yesterday but couldn’t word is that people hate people who became hyper sexual from csa. (and probably in general)

they hate that it happens so they pretend that it doesn’t so that they don’t have to think about it.

even though it is something that can develop. it’s not even uncommon. and you can’t compare csa to sa in adulthood when you’ve already formed an identity and your brain developed without the abuse. it’s not the same kind of trauma. (though this can still happen to adults!) people will have their brains developing and csa will influence that development. there are different things that can happen. you can become hyper sexual from it

i probably shouldn’t even be putting this on the internet because people love to tell you to kill yourself if you mention even ‘developmentally appropriate’ sexuality in minors or mention education about it to children (even though refusal to give children sex ed is not to actually help them but in fact to make them more vulnerable to predators) which does exist. perfectly healthy development in adolescence.

but csa can create developmentally abnormal hyper sexuality in children. a thing that has both happened to me personally and that i’ve seen in abused young children. including a three year old. (it was handled terribly by cps in my opinion but i’m not getting into that case here.)

i shouldn’t have had to spend my childhood thinking i should kill myself because i was just that evil. thinking that i must have caused this abuse because i had these thoughts. people still commit suicide over this because they’re supposedly ‘just as bad’ as the people who hurt them? for having a trauma response?

and this coming from people who supposedly want to help and support sexual assault victims? it’s all about supporting and understanding but only for one sort of reaction

i got the wrong reaction so i should just die?

my brain developed to associate sexuality with horrific things that i lived through so i should kill myself?

sorry for not being the perfect little victim i fucking guess

anyway back to being determined to publish this book even though the hard thing is going to be getting hated by people who claim to want to help

also i’ve blocked like 80% of the people i know irl on all social media bc i don’t want to see their stupid comments. and bc they’re all friends with each other.

like i am glad that they can’t understand what it was like to be ten years old and avoiding being close to your peers because you thought you were too messed up to even talk to them.

i’m glad they don’t know what it is like to wonder if you should kill yourself because maybe you are just so evil you caused this (this being the csa done to you)

that they won’t know what it’s like to seek help after that rotten hell you were told was a childhood and being met over and over with drs who don’t know how to help you. who apologise bc it’s the worst case they’ve seen and they aren’t trained for it

like i’m glad they don’t understand! i would not wish this on anyone. but they could at least develop enough compassion to understand that some people are just always going to be fucked up in the head and saying that everyone who responded the ‘wrong’ way to such violence should just kill themselves is cruel and all of us killing ourselves would not make for a better world

[joanbushur]

Jesus Christ, this fucking old-ass pile of horseshit post. Rape is usually not a "stranger-danger" kind of crime, you're more likely to know your rapist, so how does this 20 year old fucking post help with that? When you divorce your partner and they decide to come to your house and rape and kill you and your kids and then themselves because they can't stand that they don't have the power and control in the relationship anymore? I got this email in the early aughts and SURPRISE! The email hasn't changed and rapes haven't stopped. Didn't stop Brock Turner, didn't stop Johnny Depp, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, R. Kelly, D. Trump or any of the others. Just like active shooter drills in schools don't stop children from having their insides splattered all over school walls because one person who wanted to feel powerful and in control went out and decided to shoot them all that day doesn't stop it from happening. Putting it on the victims doesn't work. Marginalized communties already know to be aware of their surroundings, to be careful, to be aware, etc. That's part of the socialization of children. Why don't we try putting it on the perpertrators for once? Increase the statute of limitations on rape, work to incorporate the understanding of coercive control and abusive relationships into our justice system; especially family courts so people don't have to stay in contact with their abuser just because they have a kid together. Strengthen gun laws so that it makes it harder for abusers to get them. That also requires fully funding the ATF so they can actually stop bad buyers and sellers from selling guns to people they shouldn't. Repeal the law that George W. signed that makes it harder to sue gun manufacters. Make a new law that bans automatic weapons for public purchase. Stop dignifying the people who commit mass atrocities with having their name and face everywhere, they don't deserve to be remembered or recognized. Focus the stories on the victims. Reform the prison system. Stop the school to prison pipeline. Work to provide education programs without caps on them in jails to lower violence and stop offenders from becoming more violent in prison and then released back onto the streets with no support system and expected to become a functioning member of society again. Legalize abortion so people aren't forced into carrying a child they don't want because an abuser sabotaged the birth control to try and trap their victim and make it harder to leave. Teach comprehensive sex ed and not abstinence. Teach kids about consent from an early age. If they don't wanna hug a family member don't make them. Teach them to ask before hugging someone else. It's as simple and age-appropriate as that. Stop banning books so people can learn about all this stuff, and leave Drag Queens and Queers alone, we're not that obsessed with your kids, but you should teach them to question authority because you know who gravitates to those positions of power, trust, and authority? Abusers. Cops. Doctors. Priests. Teachers. So what good does this fucking post do me or anyone else who gets pulled over on some shitty pretext and gets raped by a genuine cop? Get them arrested for "resisting arrest" or "assaulting an officer" after I elbow their face for shoving their hand down my pants? Defund the police and focus on community outreach programs that help people in the community and de-escalate situations before violence can result. This isn't a victim's problem, this is society's problem. So let's get to work on fixing these problems so we can stop fear-mongering with useless boogeyman rape creepypastas and start living in a better world we're working to create. And in the meantime, you know, actually help people.

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

[scentedchildnacho]

I made it out of vista to Temecula.......the mountains are really refreshing all that San Diego ness not able to go without private transportation.....

The man who drove me was a nice man......he said he had to go to prison young so he helps people out because he knows how it can go

I told the woman by the library I have to find shelter I use to find some enjoyment in homelessness but now that the construction noise and trafficking noise is here it's just so bad so bad it's so bad now and I hate being homeless anymore

I told her I did have a crisis house but they wanted me to do a bunch of drugs that the basic reason of funded clinicals for students isn't as complicated as I think it is

I'm not entirely sure why health systems so focus on me to be depressed.....

I explained to him because he wanted to know how I made money that I don't really get paid as much as people should pay me so the homelessness of it runs smoother and more hygienically

Like at the crisis house they wanted to let mean bipolar kids on drugs shove their nasty food plates at me and they used an experimental disinfectant under the sink and it cut my arm up and I had to take anti biotics

They should to know those results on my body have paid me something and they gave me nothing at all

So it's mostly people like you that take some conscience sometimes and give me some tip out

He asked me what I say if asked for sex on the street so I said that's pretty rare....sex is like food it's really regulated as a common consumption and people can ask for it in normal ways so people who try to assault me on the street are serial killers

Its someone that wants a unhygienic non health care act so it's a serial killer

I just explain I'm not a prostitute and get crazier and more irrational if the pressuring doesn't stop but every so often I have to tolerate a man that tells me he wants to take me somewhere for a sex act and I think he is paid to get rid of some of the homeless because our settlements for pay back get larger and larger

Their paid to kill homeless ladies so I just act naive and dumb and they find out I don't want to die I think they do think of themselves as death angels

I was raped once and I found out rape is more aggression about not getting the boyfriend routine......once I realized he just can't maturate I didn't have to be shoved down on concrete till I blacked out played dead and personality changed

And that was enough for me to never trust or believe in a camp mission to the marxists ever again

He asked me if I talked to my family in Wisconsin so I said no I haven't in many years I had a mental crisis completely lost my mind and they copped me into a sal army and cop battered me so badly to just get over it I would have to cop them in return to stay away from me.....he asked me if they accused me of something so I said no my mother's husband didn't like me and tried to kill me about some money my sister had boys and I think he is a bad man....

I think it's to be near little boys he tried to kill me for an affordable life near little boys

He asked me if I did a bunch of meth so I said no I've never been into drugs I have always had a normalcy complex as part of my alcoholism and that as youth was bad I did drink too much and was neurotic I think for like a decade before completely losing my mind starving myself about body image and was raised mostly on federal food and modernity so I think it is more that I am a mental not drug induced a whole life of some physical disease not treated and mal adaptive coping skills

Drugs where I am from is really marine it's just a very grody feeling awful nightmare and it's how could that happen to you it's not desirable it's shown to be a disease

I was iatrogenically abused as a child my dentist put me on a lot of laughing gas and my women's health professionals were dumb I would have to get clinically battered to be the job persona so i am like a mental

Wisconsin is known for ed gein so if it's like ya know football is too violent and I don't want to go......or that restaurant is an old concept and no one is doing that anymore and I have to get battered in neglectful ways till its sure I would like a pain relieving beer at a football tv stop

Anyway kamela harris is vice president so perceptions women can like understand government and the last crisis place at least stopped locking me up and really sedate ing me but there is still perceptions women are not competent on their own and have to be battered into an a.i....

He asked me why hard working citizens in the states can't get ahead for immigrants to come here freely.....so I told him my high school felt it was a Metropole worthy of sending us to Tokyo or Paris or London and some of my friends did that went to Latin America did some free stuff went to Tokyo did some free stuff so I notice attitude to me is here won't let you live sanitarily so go anywhere to who gives you basic means

To me the states as a Metropole was organized uniquely so like ecology studies as comparisons in Japan are interesting but I was raised mostly in Wisconsin and it doesn't translate and how could I ever do that....

The Chicagoland area is very distinct

That and I have a sympathy for immigration their misunderstood people taken advantage of by other immigrants so I notice my story is immigration like

Like one immigrant story Gabby in Tucson Arizona as soon as her visa wasn't working it was free but they trapped her in a program all the time really sat her around to accept jail or clinicals meanwhile other immigrants like her for real estate advertisement are of course back and forth to renew visas like two three times a year and she just trapped there

I have a homeless Wisconsin type that uses all several of us missing need sometimes to renew visas and update our image and makes a huge show I assume of taking all mine and others appointments

Something about my case is for an immigrationist

The gross bipolars at crisis house what was my room shares name jasmine Alexandra.......she would steal from me in ways to show non solidarity....like my phone needs replacing....but if she had 🆔 she would keep several new phones on her and this of course got her prostituted by icky dudes that admit their incompetent so a lot is the prostitution problem having no social values and getting themselves beat up....

If I don't have the new phone then she would get harassed for it constantly by some icky dudes so it goes both ways some immigrants have to work and maintain their bodies to religious technology standards and some gross icky states id 🆔 type goes around stealing stuff that could have improved people's lives

Gays they do things and it ruins people's time till a transexual fixes things

I notice homelessness as conscription to the Confederacy sometimes after that many times of if you don't present federal numbers for stuff that's not completely applicable to your issue or nothing at all I also believe in strict controls to keep jobs limited in financial mobility till proven records of earning what they do

[rememberingtheunremembered]

Further Recom. + Notes: Humanizing sex work (SW) & the threat of the law

The Nordic Model, partial decriminalization…How it relegates sex workers to a space of precarity?

(Sweden, Norway, Iceland, N. Ireland, Canada) — selling sex is not illegal but buying sex or profiting from the SW of somebody else is… sometimes referred to as “ending demand” & “exit services” are set up to try and help get SW out of the industry — it is seen by many as a very progressive & feminist way of protecting SW

Issue: a worker could come forward with complaint but a client couldn’t (say especially if you want to report a child being used) + ^selling of sex itself is not a problem but all the parallel activities are criminalized, which leads SW living under the constant threat of police violence & the danger of black market

Whereas legalization would require a lot of licensing, maybe specific venues, and tends to lead a sort of brothel system… creates a two-tier system where if you don’t have the money to afford the licenses & fees or the the right ways, then that leads to criminalization or the pressure to work for some wealthy capitalist who has the money to own a brothel & pay for all their licensing in exchange for them to be under his thumb

^ impacts marginalized communities (trans, queer, LGBTQ+ communities, homeless, immigrants, racialized, disabled)

Although public health is often a concern when it comes to SW, it’s usually approached only in terms of risk of STD… there isn’t much discourse about police violence, deportations, evictions, and poverty, all of which are hazardous to health (less about the health of the workers themselves but more about the imagined health of the community)

Wider structural problems: main issue is the stigma, eviction, lack of healthy mental health care facilities, gynecologist

AGAINST DECRIMINALIZATION: not about morality!!!

There is an argument that if the money is the only consent (you wouldn’t do it otherwise), then all SW is rape… but could we say the same for the lack of “enthusiastic consent” as actors? Difference between sexual intimacy as job v sexual assault at workplace

SW don’t do “productive work,” so, they shouldn’t sell themselves since there is nothing valuable produced except for $$ — emotional aspect is also part of the service world, thinking of labor of only in terms of products & manufacturing is bs

concern of sending a bad message — it sends the message that women’s bodies are for sale to men (ignores all the women who pay for sex & all the men who pay for sex with other men, & all the people who pay SW for things that aren’t really sex)... even if a women chooses to do it… still doesn’t mean it’s a feminist cause, if you’re choosing to buy into this very patriarchal & misogynistic industry, you’re reinforcing the idea that women exist for male consumption (which isn’t just an abstract concern about optics but an idea that regularly gets women of all backgrounds harassed & even killed)

Post WWII in N. America, there were heightened concerns about the future of the nation that coalesced in concerns about the proper sexual development of teenagers

A strong nation = strong families guided by a monogamous, heterosexual, reproductive/procreative couple

Role of sex ed.:

Abstinence-only: often argues that sex before marriage is harmful & that having more than 1 sex partner is wrong & destructive

Abstinence-plus: highlights abstinence as the only sure way to avoid pregnancy/STIs (teaches about safe sex practices but rarely pleasures)

Importance of comprehensive sex ed.: teaches about safe sex practices, LGBTQ sex, casual sex (some curricula teach about pleasure but not all)

Florida’s “Don’t say gay bill,” legislation to outlaw the teachings of LGBTQ

The conservative pathologize, if not criminalize — sex & sexuality as a threat

^these political/religious narratives lead to laws criminalizing non-normative forms of sex — sex work

Riley Reyes, adult performer, chair of Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (a labor group by and for adult performers — APAC)

SWERF: sex work excluding radical feminist… entering popular usage & leftist spaces

In the book, “Prostitution Policy in the Nordic Region,” scholars May-Len Skilvrei & Charlotta Holmstrom say that there really isn’t such a thing as “the” Nordic Model… pimping is legal yet landlords & friends of SW are vulnerable to pimping charges since the law cannot distinguish between the third parties who are helping & the law parties who are hurting

Inconsistencies in law protection can be better understood from thinking of Nordic model as a philosophical approach than a legal one 

SESTA & FOSTA are federal bills in the US that have criminalized certain kinds of sexual speech on the internet — illegal to talk about sex or SW on online platform & they’ve made the platforms liable for that speech — say selling sex on YouTube, then YouTube could be criminalized… that is why craigslist shut down their personal ad section & why tumblr is no longer a place where sex exists

Book “Sex at the Margins,” anthropologist Laura Agustin — how “trafficking” & “rescued” are used synonymously — in actuality, you’ve been arrested, imprisoned, your wages have been confiscated, & you’ve been deported back to a country you didn’t even want to be in without trial or even charges… “anti-trafficking operations”

^ if the law wants to cut down on migrant SW & immigrant workers of all kinds, being exploited & endangered, decriminalize the human moment — no more detention centers, visas, language tests, income requirements…

Decriminalizing SW… sex trafficking would still be fully illegal, labor rights violations are labor rights violations, & people under SW would be able to report

Some do it for enjoyment, some do it for money (poverty or SW)... survival

LEGAL to buy & sell sex… but if you do it in a flat with someone else (brothel-keeping), illegal… outdoors (solicitation), illegal… advertise (depending on where you do it), might be illegal… help a SW book gigs because they can’t use a phone, if you borrow money from a SW, if you’re a driver or a bodyguard of a SW, then you’re profiting from someone else’s SW & technically that is pimping, which is illegal

ILLEGAL… working in a flat with someone else & having a security guard would be safer but it is against the law. If you’re working outdoors and want to talk to clients about prices and condom use before you get in a stranger’s car… must do it in a rush since if you’re spotted, you could be charged with solicitation or hit with a prostitute’s caution, which will show up on a background check

Is money taken away if police suspect (not prove) that it is based off of SW? Renters cannot rent to SW (illegal… eviction)? In Northern Ireland, you could face a potentially unlimited fine, eviction from home, be charged — all w/o trial for doing something that is completely legal.

Testimony on being arrested in the video (migrants being deported w/o trial, arrested w/o clothes)

There’s an unspoken assumption I think that arrest, imprisonment, or threatening somebody with those things is morally neutral… but they are forms of violence since the SWs are harmed by it.

Book: Playing the Whore, Melissa Grant

Note that since the 70s & earlier, many SW consistently identified the police, not clients, as the major source of violence in their lives.

“It doesn’t feel like that these laws are there to protect people since they clearly don’t, it just feels like they want to see SW disappear”

There’s distinction between “SW is violence” — no amount of SW is ever okay & some kind of criminalization is the only answer — v “the sex industry features violence & exploitation” — we can have a chat on ways to reduce it

Radical feminist Julie Bindel & many others argue that SW is bad in itself… a lot of SW acknowledge their exploitation, not wanting to do SW, & yet argue that decriminalization is the best way to reduce them… if you want to be an abolitionist, it is not enough to say Sex industry features violence but that SW is violence

How SW accommodates disabled communities

Oliver discusses the complicated patchwork of the demonizing, patronizing, and problematic American laws against world’s oldest profession with a rather humorous undertone. He refrains from moral policing sex work and argues that it is inarguably labor (LastWeekTonight). His critical and human-rights centered approach allows me to apply 

Oliver touches on the absurdism of the “legality” which is established based on camera presence, how consensual sex for money or goods off camera remains illegal (LastWeekTonight). 

Oliver critiques the wrongful premise of the impossibility of consent in practice and reduction of all sex workers to exploited “victims,” the cliché of sex work being synonymized with trafficking, police and white supremacists selling themselves as “the saviors,” and the hyper-surveillance and mass incarceration of sex workers (LastWeekTonight). 

Oliver recounts how the legal processes and policies harm those that they claim to protect — the irony of police sting operations in the United States since they are fundamentally arguing that police should be able to have sex for their jobs legally to stop other people from having sex for work. 

The threat of arrest for people of color, the provision of prohibition against loitering for the purpose of prostitution (a stop & frisk policy for sex workers — NYPD has interpreted completely legal activities like talking to pedestrians or dressing “provocatively” as the basis for an arrest... seized condoms and used that as evidence of prostitution or charged with the misdemeanor of possessing an instrument of crime/criminalizing condoms... unsafe sex), and how criminal record limits sex workers’ future for both people who want remain or leave the field — for example, a woman in Alaska has a record as a sex offender since was charged with trafficking herself because the law changed from “promoting prostitution” to “sex trafficking.” 

that just like with any other job, fundamentally the only way to make sure that people have a choice in the way they earn money is to make housing affordable, healthcare accessible, and to not burden marginalized people with a criminal record 

[soul-dwelling]

The thing with Tamaki is that it got confusing if Ohkubo was going with the "she has bad luck" route or "she wants to sexually express herself but has to hide it do the society shaming her route", like at first it seemed like she was a "tsundere" that couldnt admit she lusted after the other charachter so she pretended that they were groping her, but later it seemed that it was an actuall problem and she suffered because people blamed her even though she didnt do it on porpuse?

A whole lot of content warnings, and a long answer, so I'll put this under "read more."

My friend and I write Tamaki as “bad luck,” not just “lucky lecher” crap. She already has the black cat symbolism, just make her full-on bad luck at all times, you don’t have to make it all sexual crap. 

I never got a sense in canon that Tamaki wanted to express herself. If anything, once we get that flashback, she struck me, if not aromantic, then asexual or demisexual. When we first meet her, she has zero interest in men, minus maybe some non-sexual hero worship of Burns and, debatably, especially when you get the flashback, a crush (maybe some sexual attraction, maybe not) on Rekka. Even any crush (again, maybe sexual attraction or not) on Shinra didn’t come across as sexual so much as demisexual. 

Then I see the canonical trivia included in her character bio in the manga volumes where it flat-out says she doesn’t like co-ed events or being around boys and men, and, yeah, this screams asexual or demisexual. 

It’s why it gets all the more infuriating to have Ohkubo use Viktor as his soapbox to say this bad luck follows Tamaki because she refuses to embrace her role as an icon of sex appeal (which, again, to keep repeating: she is an underage character, this is gross). 

And it defies what Ohkubo has done up to now: trying to make his own religion in his story, by cannibalizing stuff from other religions. How many sex icons in mythology, religion, folklore, and creation myths were asexual or self-reproducing? Tamaki (again, underage, so gross) can simultaneously be representative of sex itself--without needing to be treated as an object to be groped, stripped, and humiliated. 

If there is any earlier story Ohkubo seems to pull from for writing Tamaki? It’s Diana being seen bathing--only, in that story, depending on how you stage it, maybe Actaeon made an honest mistake and didn’t deserve that punishment. And maybe Tamaki beating up someone would just reinforce the “boy does something pervy by accident, girl punishes boy, we have reinforced harmful gender archetypes” problem. But at least “Tamaki turns Assault into a deer who gets killed by his own people” would give some catharsis. 

But I got off-topic, so let me get back to my point and your question. 

Maybe you could argue Tamaki isn’t aromantic or asexual or demisexual because she ends up with Takeru. But, and maybe I’m going to get deserved criticism, that doesn’t strike me as a very exciting relationship. I don’t mind that Takeru is attracted to her. I don’t mind that after Takeru helps her fight Fake!Assault that she agrees to a date and, in the epilogue, we see them on something like a date. But the dynamic between the two doesn’t sound exciting. Maybe that’s the point: Tamaki has been through enough shit, she actually would like a romantic partner where everything isn’t drama, up to now Takeru is about the only boy that hasn’t accidentally groped her or embarrassed her, maybe this was set up from the beginning by Ohkubo but was so understated that it works. 

I don’t know--Tamaki x Takeru is no Soul x Maka, which itself was pretty understated (in that, you still have the “soulmates,” hand-holding stuff--but aside from Maka blushing in the last chapter, it is more like those two were already dating without officially dating). So, I don’t find the dynamic between Tamaki and Takeru as imaginative or writerly or thought-provoking: the two don’t have that spark, Takeru’s personality is there but kind of lacking, I think writing him is more interesting when you pair him up with someone more loud and outgoing (yes, my friend and I have worked on that, too). 

I get your point, asking whether Ohkubo was writing Tamaki has ending up like this because she was repressing sexual desires due to earlier slut shaming. But it never exploded out like a cliche sexual repression would: I honest to goodness was terrified the potential Kill La Kill ending I thought we got was going to be Tamaki suddenly being super sexually charged, a 180 from her usual demeanor, as if to say, “This is the real Tamaki, what you saw up to now was her repressed”--so, small favors that Ohkubo didn’t go in that direction. 

We don’t get a ton of interiority on Tamaki, but it isn’t like this is some really reductive and offensive take where the more and more she doesn’t get to date, the more and more she has dirtier thoughts. Tamaki has struck me pretty much as asexual or demisexual: about the most repression is that she avoids being around boys (give me a moment, we’ll get to the problem of that when refusing to read Tamaki as gay, bi, or pan). 

It never struck me that Tamaki was a tsundere in that regard, at least not until Shinra saved her--and even then, she didn’t suddenly find him sexually attractive, it seemed more like a romantic non-sexual crush. It never struck me that she lusted after characters who touched her: again, small favors from Ohkubo, but he didn’t have Tamaki making suggestive noises or faces when touched, she looked legitimately horrified, embarrassed, and so-not-into-this when touched against her will. 

Now, onto the gay, bi, and pan reading: Tamaki literally says at one point she’d rather be with Iris than any boys in the 8th; she doesn’t seem to have a lucky lecher problem around girls; she is not horrified at Iris hugging her while Tamaki is naked--albeit, again, Tamaki just looks miserable, so she’s not turned on or attracted to Iris’s hug, either. As with Ohkubo’s offensive and regressive “sex is for making babies” talk, there is so much LGBTQ+ erasure in this story: at no point does this story ever just entertain that maybe Tamaki feels awkward being touched against her will by boys, not only because it’s boys--but because she’s not attracted to boys at all? That she may be gay or bi or pan? This text really struggled to have LGBTQ+ representation that wasn’t just a bad joke, like the man from Asakusa who is attracted to Benimaru. About the only not-so-bad-but-still-not-great moment was Akitaru asking if Takehisa was gay without any gay panic moment.