#bad as just being alone.
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it’s so weird i’ve been a loner my whole life i need alone time or i will go crazy even if it’s people i love. i had zero problem growing away from people during covid like if anything that specific part of it was a relief to me. but lately i’ve felt this loneliness i never ever have before and it is actually tearing me apart
#also i have destroyed so many relationships/friendships bc my mental health got so bad when my parents started having health issues#like i just could not maintain ANYTHING during that period of time i was so traumatized and exhausted truly the worst period of my life#now that im starting to come out of it a little it’s like i’m just now noticing the giant fucking gaping hole of having nothing#i mean irl ofc i love my online friends but it’s no replacement for irl relationships#i want to crawl out of my skin#but the thought of trying to rekindle friendships or make new ones. especially when im still very much not doing Good. is almost equally as#bad as just being alone.#slamming the ‘go back’ button so hard it cracks i think i wld rather be overstimmed than this
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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Just had a friend show me a conversation in a fan discord about Suvi as a Black American woman in the context of the fallout from the election. And honestly? Yeah. The blueprint is simple: Black women are expected to put their own priorities and emotions on hold to show up for everyone else's battles and hold endless space for everyone's feelings while simultaneously weathering attacks on our character (oh she's so angry/aggressive/violent/rude) and authority (she's a woke hire/affirmative action quota/nepobaby) without complaint. We're expected to save the day under nigh-impossible circumstance, and with fewer resources and support that is AT BEST, conditional.
So yeah, relistening to Suvi's speech in The Witness hurts now. Because that's exactly the feeling I'm wrestling with, and what I see mirrored in the Black women around me. We are exhausted and angry and sad. Those voter percentages are a betrayal of "we" that was promised by other marginalized groups when speaking of the interconnectedness of our liberation. And the unexamined expectation that we immediately rise from the depths of our despair to prepare for the next fight is a cruelty. Suvi isn't real, but if this helps lend empathy toward actual Black women in the world, then I'm glad.
#worlds beyond number#the wizard the witch and the wild one#there's a reason I spent so much time scrapping with fans misremembering plot#always with the aim of painting Suvi as 'the bad/mean one' universally responsible for any party friction#i've clocked dozens upon dozens of threads maligning her and nitpicking every choice she makes#and holding her alone to a ridiculous standard of behavior#while rooting for her to experience enough pain/loss to bend her to their preferred trajectory#and dismissing her emotions as Citadel programming unworthy of consideration#it's just more fucking misogynoir at the end of the day#i saw a post calling her an abuser for not being *nice* enough to Ame when she arrived at the conclave#and all i can think is 'why do you need her to mask her VALID emotions for others' sakes?'#and then i remember she's a black woman#and i get really tired for her (and me)#don't worry#i'll return to funky lil shitposts and art reblogs soon
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ENERGETIC ⚡️
you make me feel so high
#atsuoikage#haikyuu#oikawa tooru#kageyama tobio#miya atsumu#oikage#atsuoi#haikyuu!!#they are not any specific member i just chose based on shot composition and vibes#so pls dont come at me saying u think so and so should be X member instead of Y member#I just want the vibes of them being on a competition show like p101 and then debuting together bc i think them being the JP members tgt#would be very sweet and help bridge some animosity or rival tension that exists like they are competing but also#they feel solace in eos presence being from same culture same language etc#tobio looooooves oikawa HAHA hes sooo starry eyed over him... tobio calling oikawa hyung im gonna kill myself#atsumu and oikawa get close maybe after iwaizumi gets eliminated maybe earlier/midway in the show? bc tsumu understands what it feels like#to suddenly pursue ur dream alone.. samu maybe trained with tsumu at same company but quit before they even enrolled on the show#atsumu being the mediator whenever oikage bicker LOL#oikawa being stressed af and snapping at tobio and tobio is so sad tsumu is like there there... ill go talk to oikawa hell come around itok#ats comforting oikw like telling him to ignore the netizen / bad edit etc and calming him down slowly and getting oikw to apologize to tobio#also tobio crawling into oikawas bed in the dorms to sleep with him at night and oikawa wants to complain but likes cuddling... deep downLOL
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this came to me in a dream
Floyd's emo ass and a techno troll could make scene kids...! Do you see my vision??? . . . Ravin is Happy Hardcore and Eddy M is Synth-Pop, that's how troll genetics work, right?
anyway...
i don't think floyd leads a proud life
#this is meant as crack but you know he booked from there like no tomorrow#just being honest#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls 3#trolls band together#trolls floyd#techno trolls#my art#trolls oc#ravin#eddy m#someone pat me on the back because of the names#scene#scenecore#the only acceptable way for scene trolls to be conceived is with the help of drugs lmao#i completely redid ravin's hair like 4 times to get it right...#anyway#you can't convince me that floyd left to go peruse a solo career at the age of what 13? and didn't get at least a little fucked up#you can't tell me a kid musician traveling alone with his gay little earring wouldn't attract people with bad intentions#anyway.#eye strain#neon colors#happy hardcore#S3RL#synth-pop#Breathe Carolina#i feel like i should tag this mpreg... but i don't wanna#ex bandmates
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Bare skin, bare feelings.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#blood#Imagine coming off as homophobic to your crush so bad he weaponizes a strip tease against you.#LWJ is just having a storm of bad emotions. His tummy hurt real bad and he was just trying to be brave about it!#WWX is just trying to be a good bro and heal his friendcrush. It worked but not for the reasons he thinks it did.#LWJ's shyness is also hilarious here considering they have bathed together before. Literally nothing there he hasn't seen before.#Granted it was a few years back and before he was left to stew in his feelings.#LWJ is more focused on his pride than being responsible and reasonable (getting is wounds treated).#His arc really is about accepting that he can't be perfect. That there is importance in being honest and vulnerable.#The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late.#Pride is the worst sin because it destroys your ability to protect anything other than the smallest crown in the world.#When everyone is gone and you are left alone - was it worth it to feel safe and protected from showing your flaws?#Control over oneself is in conflict with connection to others. You cannot pick both.#Hanguang-jun appears to us as a 'perfect guy' but the truth is that he is the version of LWJ who is done with *needing* that validation.#And this time - He can properly reach out to those he wants to be close with.
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I need Vaggie and Husk to be friends SO badly. I just think they have potential like they could possibly be one of the best duos if given a chance. I actually have so many thoughts on this so hear me out:
There's so much potential JUST because of their relationships with Charlie and Angel (Charlie and Angel are siblings but we don't need to get into that right now)
But seriously short grumpy characters with wings and their extroverted beanpole partner is killing me
So basically I can see them both ranting about what their partners are doing on a daily basis but it always ends with "I love them SO much" "Cheers I'll drink to that"
I have a feeling Charlie and Angel are both the kind of people to leave lipstick marks on their partners and just not tell them so Husk and Vaggie have to check each other out real quick before going anywhere. I mean no questions asked just one of them standing in front of the other with their arms and legs spread out until the other one gives them a thumbs up or a rag to clean it off with.
I also think it would be funny if Husk was the first person to know Vaggie was an angel he just didn't mention it. He says so himself that the residents of the hotel will spill their secrets when they get drunk so Vaggie definitely got drunk and let it slip that she was an angel but didn't remember it by morning. Husk's motto is basically "That's none of my business" so he just doesn't say anything.
Also continuing with the "that's none of my business" thing, Vaggie absolutely agrees with that sentiment as long as it doesn't hurt Charlie or the hotel. Neither of them like people digging into their business and having Alastor in their lives means someone is ALWAYS digging so it's nice to be with someone who just does not care.
Oh and they both shit on Alastor 24/7 so good for them
PREENING EACH OTHER!!! By the time Vaggie gets her wings back they're close enough for this. Husk hates his wings and is shit at taking care of them but Vaggie really wants this to happen. She does miss some things about the exorcists and that's one of them. Of course she would never say that out loud but Husk gets it and they do it anyway.
Vaggie would start flying ALL THE TIME after getting her wings like she has so much time to catch up on. Angel knows that her and Husk are good friends and that Husk hates his form so he'll get Vaggie to convince Husk to fly with her. It takes a little bit but they have fun and Charlie is really proud of her so it's worth it.
They can literally sit in comfortable silence for hours and not get bored
They bicker all the time about everything like they'll say the meanest shit but they're besties and they're joking so it's fine
They are so down to kill Valentino at any time. They have multiple plans, they have lists, they're really creative about it too.
They'll just sit, people watch, and judge strangers together
They're so judgemental but also the least judgmental??? They'd be like "Why would you do that you dumbass" but also actually listen to what's being said and try to find a reasonable solution for each other
Double dates that Vaggie and Husk don't actually want to go on but unfortunately Charlie and Angel are convincing (they have a really good time)
They were both stripped from their occupations (overlord/angel). They miss it sometimes and they feel bad about it because they were both terrible people during those times. When they get like this they always seek each other's company. Sometimes they actually talk about it, sometimes they change the subject to something completely different, sometimes they have a drink and sit in silence. Either way they only acknowledge it with each other.
Husk teaches Vaggie how to make drinks. It's calming for him (even though it's annoying that he's technically being forced to do it) so he thought she might like it. She does and is actually really good at it. When they get more residents she'll help him out behind the bar.
Sometimes they'll sing together. They sound amazing and their partners love it. Husk also tries to teach Vaggie how to play saxophone it does not go as good as bartending did
They're the only ones in the hotel that can speak Spanish so yes they do use that to their advantage
Are both so tired all the time. They just deserve a stress free nap. They end up curled up together asleep and are found by Angel in the middle of the night. He takes a picture and immediately sends it to Charlie. Charlie and Angel manage to keep the picture but are not allowed to show anyone or ever mention it again.
They would never actually admit to being friends even though they're best friends and one of the few people the other can actually stand being around
JUST HUSK AND VAGGIE BEING BEST FRIENDS YOU GUYS
#oh jeez this is a long one#Hazbin Hotel#huskerdust#charlie hazbin hotel#chaggie#husk hazbin hotel#vaggie hazbin hotel#angel dust hazbin hotel#why isn't there any content of them being friends#I need this so bad#seriously what demon do I have to make a deal with to make this happen#I feel like they interact the least but why#the potential#I'm manifesting so hard vivziepop herself fears my power#I can't be alone in this please guys#what is wrong with me#the Huskerdust fanfic I was reading just updated this is fate#Am I posting too much???#I feel like I'm posting too much
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zero's pressure
#running out of gas. running out of money. out of time. out of energy. i'm running out of everything#and ofc my solution is to. avoid it. ignore it. do nothing productive.#zero's pressure turns into zero pressure#i'm trying to be kind to myself. i really have been trying. but it's hard when youre still headed to 0 on everything with no solution#because of yourself#i cant get a job. my art doesnt bring enough. i cant keep producing new products on the regular. i cant finish major comms on time#what CAN i do?#vent#just some adhd things#and maybe anxiety. and bad stress management#sorry for being so raw on main. its therapeutic even if it doesnt really lead to anything. it does force me to confront my feelings ig#i tend to get a burst of motivation after hitting a low like this but its a constant cycle that in the longterm really doesnt improve.#ill probably get some products done and do some quick comms. just one of those alone can cover gas for me#anyway some positivity to toot my own horn: i love the palette of this piece. went harder than i thought
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doing some zeb stylization practice
#hes the hardest for me to draw bc when i see him my brain goes kitty!!! and then he ends up with too much fluff and ear#also im bad at drawing digitigrade legs but ill tackle that later#garazeb orrelios#star wars rebels#ok kallus does have principles. its just eternally funny that he folded after exactly 1 day of being alone with zeb#artposting
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Game-night in the batfamily has got to be crazy. You're putting a bunch of geniuses against each other and that's asking for chaos to happen.
#And when they play team up games they have to make a toss-up because they cannot decide on the teams#Nobody wants to play with Bruce except for Cass#Or Tim and Dick also if they feel bad enough#Jason wants to play with nobody#Damian thinks he could do best alone#but he would choose Grayson if he needs to#He can't tho because they make it random#Duke has no personal issues with anybody so he's a safe option for a team-up#Jason Tim and Damian however...#Steph enjoys those nights the most#Along with Dick#Except they enjoy it for very different reasons#Steph and Cass always want to be a team#That's why they need a toss-up#(Nobody likes the toss-up but Alfred started it for fairness in the game)#Tim has the worst luck so he's gotta be really smart with his moves#Or cheat without being noticed#Both work depending on who he's playing with/against#You would expect Jason to be the cheater but he's weirdly fair...#(He's a petty loser tho)#(Specially when Bruce wins)#Dick is just trying to avoid conflicts between siblings while also being the biggest asshole of a big brother whenever he can#Give Alfred a break#And somebody get Bruce out of there he's too old to play (Jason probably)#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#batfamily
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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them
#pokemon#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon jacq#n harmonia#pokemon rei#trainer rei#clai's art#trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason#in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF#but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless#jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible#n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it#but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end#isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways#satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally#or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter#volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk
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on loneliness jenny slate / japanese breakfast, posing for cars / corinne von lebusa, big glow / dadushin / alejandra pizarnik, tr. me / fka twings, home with you / avocado_ibuprofen / fiona apple, left alone / anne carson, “the anthropology of water”, plainwater / kiki smith, free fall / alejandra pizarnik, diaries
#hi my post#oooooohhh this is just a compilation of my own feelings lately#i know i have a red de apoyo i know i have my dearest friends but it's so hard to not feel alone when we're so far away#idk i just miss school and having someone to talk to everyday i'm not a text gal i need to hear your voice i need to see you i need someone#to caress my hair i need contact i need closeness i need to know somebody hears me#it's not all bad i do love my solitude but i just .... i just think in a room full of people nobody would choose me#lol i'm gonna stop now i just always use my tags as a venting space xd#also yes i had the audacity to translate alejandra pizarnik but i just couldn't find that bit already translated and i really wanted it her#web weaving#on loneliness#loneliness tag#being alone#jenny slate#japanese breakfast#posing for cars#corinne von lebusa#dadu shin#alejandra pizarnik#fka twigs#home with you#fiona apple#left alone#anne carson#plainwater#kiki smith#parallels#poetry#prose#words#lyrics
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If I think about the double standard and the disparity with which the media handled Daniel in comparison to everyone else I may lose my mind.
#i genuinely feel like im in bizarro world. karun chandok the fucking donkey being like:#“you have to feel for checo . he was doing so well in sq1 :( ”#in comparison to the way they viciously circled around daniel for medicore performances let alone bad ones#similar with Naomi just now. i cant believe im gonna defend Perez in the same breath but for her to say;#“Lawson has done everything to deserve checos seat. he has ticked all the boxes” ????? bitch what boxea are you talking about?#she literally said the only thing he needs to work on is his “temperament” would love to know what shes on lol#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LAZENBY HES SUCH A DUMB FUCKING RATTTTTTT#the way hes like “why is Lawson getting so much heat for complaining about sergio? Yuki has been doing it for years!”#well yuki has been in the 'Junior team' for 4 years now#what the everloving fuck is going on in the sport#obviously we all know how the media shapes the narrative but its genuinely still so jarring to see the standard they held daniel to#and the callousness with which they treated him
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SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,
BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,
IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!
FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!
#arcane#league of legends#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#doodles#hate and love how hardcore I relate to jinx…#little sisters w dependency issues.. + a whole lot of other issues#anyway the ‘he’ in the ‘crazy girl’ lyrics is in my mind referring to both vi and silco lol#I’m sORRY! I keep seeing ppl hardcore pitting these 2 bad bitches against each other#and it’s like… silco is objectively. morally worse than vi.. vi is not like. a ruthless crime lord#vi IS 100% trying her best and loves her sister. but she still screwed up w jinx#and silco ALSO truly loves jinx. but also screwed up by fucking. trauma bonding w her ghgh-#like.. silco is too close. he’s like. yes go apeshit jinx I support and love you and understand u no matter what fucked up shit u do.#were the same. and that’s beautiful!!! I love how supportive he is…#but its like.. silcos too close. he just became a new person for jinx to glomp onto and base her self esteem around after vi left#and he doesn’t manipulate that on purpose but. he DOES effect that girls mental state. cuz he needs her too#meanwhile vi is too far away… she thinks she knows who jinx is. but jinx has changed… time marches forward. she’s not that little girl#anymore#and nOW! after the finale jinx has NOBODY TO BE CODEPENDENT W..#her mental state has always been so tied up in how the ppl she puts on pedestals view her#and now there’s no pedestal anymore. she knocked down the statues. she’s alone…#it’s interesting….#anyway I’m not trying to say vi is as bad as silco at ALL. just that she’s an equally important building block in jinx’s mind#that has made her into the fucked up lil person she is today. and I think that’s neat.#lol anyway! I’m hyped for season 2….#aLSO GOD DAMN THIS GIRLS OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED. WHY DO U GOT SO MANY BITS N BOBS JINX??? I mean I get it accessories rock.#but u take so much time to draw ghfhg- require so much brainpower#aLSO ADDENDUM. while silco is objectively morally worse than vi his relationship w jinx is genuinely. like. makes me emotional ghgh-#its not perfect. or healthy. but… it’s. the both of them. being seen. and accepted. and loved and understood.. and I love that shit.
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chosen by the goddess
#link#legend of zelda#loz#tears of the kingdom#totk#art#ok did anyone else feel bad for link for having to go through the -thinks he died and wakes up in an unfamiliar place alone and naked-#thing again like i just imagined him being so scared that another 100 years had passed and everyone he’d ever known was dead#idk. i have feelings about him
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Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Lucifer’s still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.
I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#like i said hes definitely not the best dad but hes also not the worst. hes trying#thats both better than he was doing and better than a lot of people get#(i do think stolas is a better dad but his and lucifers circumstances are also completely different)#if lucifer hadnt bothered helping charlie then yeah id say hes a bad dad#but he put his instinct to avoid the thing that gave him trauma (heaven) at all costs aside for charlie#he was able to acknowledge that yes hes been a shit dad and could be doing better#he made an active effort TO DO BETTER#he actively made a change about himself for the sake of being there for charlie and that alone is better than most people can do#he wasnt a bad dad on purpose. he thought charlie didnt want to see him and acted accordingly which made his mental health problems worse#and his mental health problems being worse made it harder for him to function let alone be charlies dad#again im not saying he shouldnt take accountability just that people dont acknowledge why he was absent for so long#(me being me i blame lilith for making lucifer think charlie didnt want to see him and making charlie think lucifer didnt want to see her)#maybe this is littered with bad takes and my perspective is clouded by daddy issues. idk lol
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