#away from everyone and everything
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wild strawberries
#artists on tumblr#back from my trip to finland#it was nice to see my family#and my one friend#but it feels good to be back#it's super hot here#and i dont know if any of my friends have time for me#but i just like this place a lot#even if i'm just walking outside on these same streets#that i always walk#i feel a weird sense of peace being in another country#far away from everyone and everything i grew up with
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GRAH
#this is why i dont do this#this is exactly why#why i dont fuck with mentally ill people#because i get frustrated that i cant fix them and then jt turns into MY problem#maybe im just#fuckin tired or something#idk#im in a bad fucking mood rn#im not gonna deal with this shit again man im not gonna keep having this conversation with the people i love#how would you feel if i just fucking#avoided you? everytime i felt i was a bother?#rather than fucking ask for reassurance? wouldnt that be frustrating? wouldnt it be fucking frustrating?#when youre not even given a goddamn chance?#god fucking damnit dude#just in a shit mood#cant wait for this fucking funeral to be ober so i can go hide in my room again#away from everyone and everything
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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wanna go home. wanna go home so bad.
#sam…💭#I feel bad i can’t talk to anyone but im so socially drained#just wanna curl up in my bed with my headphones#away from everyone and everything
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Vivienne's fear being 'becoming irrelevant' isn't something that's linked explicitly to her pride, no matter what Solas says about her (and the irony of Mr.Pride himself saying that should not be lost on you), it reveals what and who Vivienne truly is.
She's a survivalist.
Because we don't spend as much time in the Free Marches or Orlesian circles, we don't get to experience what being a mage is in these cultures. In Ferelden and Kirkwall, a mage is a lesser being without freedom no matter what they do--but in the Free Marches and Orlais specifically, mages are commodities that are given freedom so long as they play an entertaining enough role. They can explore the world if they have a noble patron, if they catch the right person's eye. They are, in a way, two sides of the same coin--refusing mages agency and forcing them to relay on higher powers. Vivienne lucked out, as sad as it is, when Bastion fell in love with her; she found someone who was contrarian enough to recognize her as a full person and also someone with power that could help her rise through the ranks. This is not to say that Vivienne on her own wasn't an exceedingly talented and intelligent individual--by nineteen she was already the youngest full fledged mage in Circle history and she was skilled enough to make herself an enchanter. But, I can not emphasize this enough, none of that matters if she didn't also play the Game and impress enough people.
Vivienne could have been the most brilliant mage in the history of Thedas and it means nothing if she was overlooked by nobility.
So when Bastion made her his mistress, she gained not just a lover but also a means to an end. Now she can use her magic to protect herself. Now she can roam where she wants and not be question for it because she's Madame Vivienne. Now, she can walk into the Orlasian court and belong there.
And what happens? Celene notices her and makes her the Court Enchanter, a position that has always been the equivalent of a jester. Vivienne took that title, ignored that it was essentially a glorified insult to who she is, and made it a position of power. She made the Court Enchanter into an advisor, a political rank. She had done the impossible and made mages an actual political entity in the Orlasian Court, something that wasn't seen outside of Tervinter (not counting what players can do under very specific conditions if they made mages in DAO and DA2).
All that, however, only continues as long as the court recognizes her as something worth their attention. Vivienne needs to maintain her act as Madame De Fer, The Lady of Iron, the Court Enchanter, The Jewel of the High Court, because the second she just becomes Vivienne, it's over for her. The assassins coming raining in, her name gets devoured by rumors and gossip, and she'll be found dead at bottom of the stair case with a dagger in her back if she's lucky.
So of course when the Circles fall apart during the Rebellion, she clings to that Loyalist Mages to maintain that structure--of course she moves her pieces to the Inquisition, knowing that if the Circle DOES fall, she at least as another place for herself and mages latch onto--of course when she hears that Celene replaced her with a new Court Enchanter that appeared out of no where, she grows to resent Morrigan.
Like, Morrigan literally pops up out of thin air, makes herself invaluable to Celene, and then plants herself in the place Vivienne had to claw her way up to and create so she could survive. Would you not be resentful when your life's work is usurped by some random witch of the wilds because she happened to charm the Empress? Everything Vivienne strived for all whisked away because the court find a gem who glimmers ever so slightly more than Vivienne.
So yes, Vivienne fears becoming irrelevant because the world has made it so that irrelevance for an Orlesian mage means death.
#vivienne making herself into the most beautiful shining gem of the court#making herself razor sharp and blindingly glittering and audacious so everyone HAS to look at her whether she likes it or not#and then when she thinks she can step away and focus on the Inquisition to help her fellow mages here comes Morrigan#who may be just as glittering just as sharp just as beautiful but she does it in a more wild way that the court snaps its head to look at h#and Vivienne fears that she's about to lost everything#and she white knuckles her alliance to the Inquisition like a life line and hope this gamble sees her through#because the alternative is far too horrifying for her to entertain#and do not confuse all of that with Vivienne being selfish because she's NOT Vivienne is not pulling the ladder from other mages#she wants them to have her power but she's aware that if Morrigan pulls HER ladder than it's all over#and really why the fuck are we holding all that against Vivienne when this is how the world made her (a world that is canonically colorist)#so she could live and breath and be seen as equal in some measurement?#I mean if you can sympathize with SOME OTHER MAGES for how they navigate an hostile world I wonder why you can't do the same for Vivienne#unless there's a glaring reason why you wouldn't dare get to know her#writing#vivienne de fer#dragon age#vivienne#dragon age inquisition
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liushennnn in my attendant sy au (read right to left)
notes on this au:
sy transmigrates into a new body when sqq fights the system trying to force him out of his body. sqq is livid and decides to take sy as his retainer/secretary/assistant, forcing him to do most of the accounting & administrative work on qing jing peak and work for sqq for free while also helping sqq avoid his tragic fate by telling him spoilers and secrets about the world that sy remembers. sy has no golden core and no cultivation, and cant wield a spiritual sword or fight. sy has no documents, no money, and no prospects. sqq basically provides everything for him & can also take it away. sy moves into the other room in the bamboo house and cleans and organizes as well, although his own room is a mess. sqq never makes it clear what sy's position on the peak is, so all of the disciples follow his orders in fear of disobeying sqq. sy is basically 2nd to sqq, although he doesnt see it that way; he sees himself as sqq's overworked servant. he resents sqq for his control over sy's life, but he's terrified of being kicked out.
sqq takes sy to the peak lord meetings as well, using sy to carry documents, serve tea, and to give him information about anything that might be useful to sqq if it comes up during the meeting. sy also often acts as a messenger for sqq between peaks. he doesnt get much interaction outside of senior disciples and the other peak lords.
since sy's hands are usually full with documents, accounting books, talisman paper, & anything else sqq wants him to carry, sy can't use his fan to hide his face as much. instead he uses his hair & his glasses. his skin is sallow & he often misses meals from running around doing sqq's errands, so he always seems tired. clothes he wears are simple & loose, either slip on or buttoned up. he dislikes loud & bright patterns bc he doesn't want to stand out, but sometimes has no choice bc sqq buys his clothes. sqq will often make him wear more extravagant patterns, even when it makes sy nervous about attracting attention.
since sy seemed to appear out of nowhere to the other sect members, sy is very worried about acting too suspicious and getting kicked out. he copies sqq as much as possible to acclimate to the world and seem unphased & elegant.
sy is very interested in the other peak lords since he interacts with them often, especially liu qingge. liu qingge often catches him staring, but sy tries not to interact with anyone more than he has to. liu qingge usually sees him hiding behind sqq as a buffer. if sy does speak, he does it low & quiet, & if behind his fan if possible.
sy looks like his old body & has long black hair, similarly styled to sqq by his insistence. sy dislikes this.
sqq calls sy "a-yuan" bc sy doesnt like it. sy doesnt like telling people his name though bc it makes ppl think theyre related, which he also doesnt like, so he doesnt stop sqq from indroducing sy as "a-yuan". this makes it very difficult for other ppl to know what to call sy in fear of being too familiar
sy does meet sqh earlier in this au, and he helps him as much as he can get away with behind sqq's back. since sy is less bound by the system than sqh is, sqh sometimes "sponsors" sy to do things he himself cant do.
sy calls sqq the equivalent of "sir".
#my art#shen yuan#liu qingge#liushen#svsss#sy attendant au#notes r basically just copied and pasted from my notes app lol..#i still cant for the life of me figure out sy's term of address for sqq#it's supposed to be familiar enough yet reverent enough that sy can get away with it#because he doesnt want to call him shizun or peak lord shen qingqiu#also i get that like theres this whole thing of making everyone be like oh sqq/sy you are so beautiful and so moe#but i think that gets boring. what if everything sucked for him all the time and he was rly dehydrated and lqg still liked him like that#also its right to left bc thats just the way the paneling worked out best
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Favourite pre-timeskip Sanji moments
These are a few of my favourite pre ts sanji moments
(1) Baratie arc when sanji served fresh food for don krieg despite everyone telling him that krieg was notorious for betraying people. Sanji still served the food because of his value of "feeding the hungry no matter what"
(2) Sweet sanji preparing bentos for Luffy vivi and a special drink for Vivi's duck karoo so they can go explore the little garden island. Also packing and tying the lunches for the kids (luffy and karoo) by himself
(3) water 7 Sanji following his principle of "never waste food" while fighting CP7's ramen guy wanze (who had a full ramen armour and sanji cut his armour up and served the ramens all in different plates around the kitchen)
(4) thriller bark Sanji holding an unconscious nami up so she won't get injured while he takes all the hits from Absalom He's not just a simp, he genuinely cares for nami
(5) water 7 Sanji smoking a cigarette while spying and finding out sensitive government information
(6) Post enies lobby filler sanji crying throwing up stressing over finding out the right spices of a fried rice. He is a true chef at heart and has so much love for his craft
(7) post skypiea filler G-8 arc sanji when someone says he is better than all of the navy chefs and sanji cutely offers to give his recipes to them. He is so cute kind and humble
(8) sabaody sanji kicking the Celestial dragon knowing what'll happen and not giving a fuck anyway
(9) skypiea sanji being all big smiles and happy while showing conis the bento he has arranged for her and telling them how arranging food is an art (look at the little winged angel he put there as a representation for conis who has wings)
(10) Sanji leaving a message for nami in water 7, even in the dire situation they were in (usopp left, robin was abducted, they were all accused of murder) sanji being his usual cute loser self
#honestly scratch this. every sanji moment is my favorite moment#these are the moments that arent as big or as talked about as ie. thriller bark or enies lobby sanji#it's about time we all come together to acknowledge and appreciate how charming perfect beautiful sanji is#i love sanji so much and it was hard choosing just 10. I'll soon start making favourite sanji moments thread for individual arcs#anyway lol#black leg sanji#one piece sanji#vinsmoke sanji#kuroashi no sanji#sanji#one piece#im currently watching Dressrosa and can yall tell i miss sanji so much#i miss him so much that i put everything on hold to finish Dressrosa and zou quickly so i can finally see him again#everyone: honey hes an anime character he's just one click away#me : *soft thump of my forehad against the window sill* when will my husband be back from the war#sanji moments
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long time no post art, been slowly working on this in the past almost 2 months :]
this is what i had last night before i decided to completely change the lighting color lol it was too bright for the Mood i wanted im glad i changed it
#friendly reminder to mess with layer modes when you wanna make changes like these instead of redrawing everything#everyone knows overlay and soft light is good but i used darken a lot for changing the highlights only its great#anyways. this man has not left my brain for a month now i will try and finish this soon. in between doing comms of course#honkai star rail#gallagher hsr#allyart#wip#i just realized the new lighting is one color away from being the bi flag. happy pride month from your fellow bisexual guy#love it when i accidentally sneak my flags into my art hehe
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I will never forgive fandom how unfair it is about Arthur
Dark Merlin It's usually good angst. You know, Merlin had had enough. Dark Arthur? Arthur is a fucking rapist, a monster.
Merlin guilty? Merlin feeling guilty and comforted by the entire cast. Arthur guilty? Arthur doing the worst things possible and someone razing him to the ground
Merlin always gets these nice things. always flowers, courtship, everything. Found family? Everyone comforts Merlin because big bad Arthur. (literally almost every Merlin "found family" is everyone loves Merlin and treats Arthur like shit)
Merlin gets an apology. Arthur? My parents will love me faster than someone will apologize to Arthur in fanfiction.
"suicidal, self-harming Merlin" but Arthur has no right to have mental problems (a whole lot of people have wanted him dead since he was born)
Protectivr knights? Always about Merlin.
Even the fucking omegaverse. Alpha Merlin is a nice calm creature who pretends to be a beta. Alpha Arthur... wild animal, keep Merlin in a cage.
No. Just no.
(forever grateful to those stupid British people that arthur never told merlin he was fat. because the fandom understands that something is a comedy if merlin says it. if arthur it would be ,,abuse")
#Have I ever told you that I hate this fandom?#everyone loves Merlin is my 13th reason#like stfu.#did we watch the same show?#also no#Merlin was no cassanova#Arthur deserves Nice things#and he doesn't get them#GIVE HIM FLOWERS.#the fandom doesn't deserve Arthrur#Give him a family. Give him a caring boyfriend. give him friends who are loyal to him and not to Merlin#I swear that if I ever see someone take Leon away from Arthur#because everyone loves Merlin#I will enter my villain era#I swear I don't touch Merlin fanfiction. I physically can't look at it#THIS FANDOM SHOULD BE BANNED FROM WRITING MAGIC REVEL#Merlin gets everything. Arthur is given the opportunity to look after Fanon Merlin#how I hate Merlin fanon#like what happened to my iconic loser. why is he charlie spring with angeline jolie's face#fanon Merlin doesn't deserve Arthur. unless it's Arthur fanon. fanon Arthur is something I wouldn't get close to without pepper spray#forever Merlin fandom hater#arthur pendragon#merlin#merlin bbc#merthur#the once and future fandom#bbc merlin#like cmon
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A canon compliant guide of Bruce Wayne’s officially adopted children
I noticed there has been some confusion about who all in the BatFam is actually legally adopted by Bruce Wayne so I thought I’d try and help clear some things up.
(Full disclosure you can of course headcanon whatever you like, I made this is strictly to help newer fans know what is actually canon💕)
Dick Grayson: Adopted
(Batman: Gotham Knights #17 and Batman #600)
Many fans argue over whether or not Dick is officially adopted, many saying it was never official and he is still just his ward.
Though he does admittedly usually spend the majority of his actual childhood as a ward, Bruce ends up officially adopting Dick as his son(as I have explained before here)in multiple timelines
Barbara Gordon: Not Adopted
(Batgirl and the Birds Of Prey Rebirth)
There was never a need for Barbara to be adopted because she still has a Dad. She is however still very much in the BatFamily and has trained under and with Bruce
Jason Todd: Adopted
(The New Titans (1988) #55 and Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying)
Now I couldn’t track down a comic where we actually get to see Bruce adopt Jason, but there are plenty of instances in which his adoption is referenced -including but not limited to these two- throughout several timelines and reboots
Cassandra Cain: Adopted
(Batgirl 2008 #6)
Now this one is a bit more debatable as aside from this one instance, Cass’ adoption is never really mentioned again even after the timeline gets rebooted. Still the general consensus is that Cassandra’s adoption is considered canon.
Tim Drake: Adopted
(Batman #654 and Red Robin #4)
Though Tim declines Bruce’s offer of being adopted at first, we get to see Bruce adopt Tim as his son about a year or so later. His adoption is also referenced across multiple reboots
Stephanie Brown: Not Adopted
(Batgirls #13, Robin (1993) #174, and Robin (1993) #126)
Now the main reason Stephanie is not and probably will not be adopted is because both her parents are alive. While her Dad is a villain and out of the picture, her mother is a nurse and fully capable of taking care of her.
Bruce does however train her during her brief stint as Robin and much like Barbara she is no less apart of the BatFamily, she’s just not in the Wayne Family
Duke Thomas: Not Adopted (technically)
(All Star Batman #1 and Batman & the Signal #3)
Now Duke is never officially adopted because technically his parents are alive just insane due to Joker’s toxin of which there is no cure. However Bruce does take him in and let him stay at the manor and it is heavily implied he becomes Duke’s foster parent so do with that what you will
Damian Wayne: Not Adopted/Biological child
(Batman and Robin (2011) #0)
Damian is Bruce’s one and only biological child -of the main canon- and therefore does not need to be adopted because you don’t need to adopt your own child
And that’s all of Bruce’s official and unofficial children in the main canon!💕🖤
#Don’t even get me started on the whole Meta verse “everything is canon” nonsense because I straight up don’t even know#I’m pretty sure everyone can pick and choose canon at this point and not be entirely wrong#So don’t let this stop you from head canon-ing your heart away#Babs and Steph not being adopted is a good thing because that would make them brother kissers#don’t take this too seriously#I didn’t have time to go track down more sources so hopefully this is sufficient#batfam#dc comics#bruce wayne#A guide for Bruce Wayne’s children#hope this helps#Honestly I don’t care much either way if people make Duke Bruce’s official son#Pop off#let people enjoy things#canon is a suggestion#I left Damian out once cause I was just doing adopted kids and someone told me I “forgot him”#So he’s here this time#But like I hope everyone knows Damian is not adopted#Ignore my aggressive italicizing#I do it a lot#Batfamily guide
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I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together – all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.
But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.
The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans – especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.
We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.
Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes it’s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.
No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.
#QSMP#mod talk#Additionally: we should avoid stereotyping entire communities for reasons I hope are obvious.#I think everything will work out in the end#I don't typically see this kind of stuff on here but I figured I'd post this anyways since I'm posting it to Twitter too#It's understandable that emotions are high because of everything that's happened to the QSMP community the past few months#but it's very sad to see fans attacking each other#everyone's a bit on edge it seems. I rarely use my personal Twitter but I opened it today and saw some close mutuals snapping at people#then after stepping away and calming down coming back to a conversation and apologizing#it's sad to see everyone in this state#So... comments from the peanut gallery I suppose. I do hope this helps someone though#I don't usually post things like this because frankly-#I don't think every single drama / controversy / whatever necessitates a public statement from every single member of the fandom#but I've been thinking a lot about this#Anyhoo. Hopefully I can start sharing clips again tomorrow. I've been moving the past week and life was hellish#hopefully things ease up a bit now
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one of the funniest things is during all nine episodes luffy did not actively have one single plan except "become the worlds greatest pirate and find the one piece". he spent at max a month? less? at sea and everything he accomplished (taking down FOUR feared pirates in like a week, stealing the grand line map, finding a faithful and loyal crew, getting a bounty of 30 million on his head, etc) was mostly by accident. he stumbles into trouble and then proceeds to become the trouble
#one piece#opla#one piece live action#one of ur men pick up a barrel in a raid and a manic stowaway convinces ur henchman to turn against you and then destroys your ship. some k#you want the grand line map so u kidnap this kid and he takes ur dismembered body parts and traps them in trunks and scares ur crew off#u spend a decade running a long con to get all the money from a ship yard and this rando shows up on the night of your big plan and foils it#literally sends u packing by flinging u out a window#ur a feared warlord fish man but ur pet cartographer just happens to be friends with the one person willing and capable to destroy#everything you have. His friends kill all ur men. turns ur base into ruble#and he walks away without a scratch#luffy doesn’t have problems he’s everyone else’s problem lmaooo
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need an arc of them being the 2 most toxically co-dependent ppl on earth actually.
#idk i just think now that she's confirmed to him that she is open to him and that she needs him as much as he needs her there's no fucking +#+ chance that he's just gonna let her get away from him again. and it won't be healthy#but i think he'll just insert himself right into her life and force everyone around to deal with it#and i don't think she'll be super hyped about it but she's just so relieved to have some semblance of her family back that it blinds her#to everything else he's doing / has done#honestly i dont even care if no one agree with me i'm gonna write this for me and me alone#rafe and sarah#rafe cameron#sarah cameron#obx s4 spoilers
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Random stuff
#incredibox#sepbox#monart#spiders#Okay time to dump my thoughts in the tags#The first doodle was drawn cuz it had rained recently#I thought Edgar would enjoy the rain (assuming it doesn't rain in the depths)#The Watcher doodle was me thinking about how the Watcher watches over everyone#He sends out his little spider minions to spy on ppl!#He sees everything through their eyes#The Edgar comic is what I imagine he did when he left the depths#While the docs say that they only found his jewerly and crown at the Gateway#I like to think that Edgar saw this new place and immediately stripped naked. Cuz it's funnier that way#He decided to leave his past life as the prince at the gate with his royal clothes and jewerly#or something like that#The last doodle is how I imagine Tam's illness spread across his face#The documents don't mention how exactly he got the illness#I thought maybe it started from an innocuous scratch#He lost his eye cuz it straigh up rotted away#Annnnd that's about it#I'm always thinking about this mod as you can tell. So sad I can't draw every idea I have orz#Anyway I'll contunie having thoughts and patiently waiting for v8
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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instead of nightmare approaching horror to recruit him for the gang i think it would be cooler if he talked to undyne about it. because she would not hesitate TWICE to ship horror off to fuck knows where in the multiverse
like booo booo boring horror would never cooperate and agree to join nightmare without him doing some extra work that he cant be bothered 2 do bc its doesn't benefit him enough 4 the effort put in. AND THAT METHOD DOESN'T EVEN GIVE HIM MORE NEGATIVITY!!!!! nonono the king deserves a show :3 so he goes to undyne who's the craziest of everyone in horrortale and yk yk does some stupid mind manipulation. maybe in exchange for horror he makes up some bullshit lie about how he could save alphys (is she even alive atp) or the rest of the underground and provide them food (like the same deal that nightmare WOULD offer horror) and undynes like 70x more fucked up than horror so of course she's accept in a heartbeat. shes the queen!!!! shes supposed to provide for her subjects (even tho shes kinda. erm. making them all suffer)!!!! and all it would take was a sacrifice of the guy she lowkey doesn't like??? undyne has more reason to accept a deal like that from nm than horror ever would. and it wouldnt be the first time she sacrificed horror anyways lol
idk she sends royal guards out to snatch up horror in the middle of the day (nightmare told her to make it dramatic and tense :3) (all of snowdin would probably follow in concern because OMG WHERE IS SANS GOING????) and then yeah. just like that horrors gone! nightmare probably didn't even give him a chance to say bye to paps. undyne never ends up getting the food nightmare promised because hes a bitchass like that (and papyrus probably ends up taking up the full leader role of food provider for snowdin (if undyne even lets snowdin stay out of her control) good luck for him!)
if horror had a nickel for everytime he got forced to be a sacrifice he'd have 2 nickels. which is actually 2 too much in his eye HES PISSED!!!!!! rightfully so become man ☹️ taken away from his world without even a choice or a reason (to his knowledge) or anything to benefit him??? and now hes STUCK in this disney movie castle with two freaks who look like him (what the FUCK) and then the most annoying THING he's ever had the misfortune of getting kidnapped by. he is in misery. it sucks. he IS infact bitter. if he ever came back to horrortale (which he literally would never get to without dying or losing his stolen eye) he would 500% commit anarchy and finally get rid of undynes annoying ass ‼️‼️
#horror gets to join killer in the forcefully kidnapped into the gang group#would horror lose hope of ever getting back to horrortale???? yeah probably :3#unlike dust he doesn't have dt so he would NAUGHT be that persistent#dust would die trying getting back to dusttale. horror would just want to die after not being able to get back#unlike dust (debatable) or killer (he's done all he can do to help his world and wants to move on) horror still has attatchments in his au#i KNOW the constant thought that snowdin is starving without him HAUNTS him like a plaugue#im like 80% sure horrortale would not survive without horror. it would implode without horror to keep undyne somewhat in check#NOOOO because like what if it was after Aliza manages to help all of horrortale???? like undyne#like she manages to get through the undyne somehow and everything seems to be going up slowly#horror FOR ONCE has hope for everyone again and then nightmare comes in and undoes ALLLL of aliza's progress!!!!!!#THE HOPE GETTING RIPPED AWAY FROM HORROR AFTER SEEING THINGS RECOVERING WOULD DESTROY HIM (maybe idk)#can just imagine killer having to be on suicide watch for horror bc nm can tell he's in a bad mood bc of that hope#killer doesnt have to be on suicide watch for dust bc he wont let himself die if his human still exists but horror?????#horror would not have the same will that dust and killer do. he tries to jump off buildings every mission#horror leaning off a ledge and killer's just holding onto his hood like man stop it this is wasteful and pointless#why does he keep trying to kill himself and have to make killer deal with this. cant horror just like get the fuck over it and do his job#anyways dust and horror exchanging stories about their aus and reminiscing about things before it all went bad#horror gets pissy anytime dust makes an offhand comment tying his story about the genos#dust completely ignores him when horror mentions something about the famine and how it fucked everything up#they rather just take this moment to pretend everything is alright in their memories#in that moment its almost like looking into a mirror. ok triglycercule getting a bit TOO poetic there#horrordust seeing sans in eachother only when they talk about their pasts and making it a way to deal with all thats changed#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#nightmare's gang
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