#i just realized the new lighting is one color away from being the bi flag. happy pride month from your fellow bisexual guy
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long time no post art, been slowly working on this in the past almost 2 months :]
this is what i had last night before i decided to completely change the lighting color lol it was too bright for the Mood i wanted im glad i changed it
#friendly reminder to mess with layer modes when you wanna make changes like these instead of redrawing everything#everyone knows overlay and soft light is good but i used darken a lot for changing the highlights only its great#anyways. this man has not left my brain for a month now i will try and finish this soon. in between doing comms of course#honkai star rail#gallagher hsr#allyart#wip#i just realized the new lighting is one color away from being the bi flag. happy pride month from your fellow bisexual guy#love it when i accidentally sneak my flags into my art hehe
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Day 26: Parental Moxiety
@tsshipmonth2020
Day 26 - You can’t see shades of your soulmate’s eye color a certain color until you meet [your soulmate] and look into each other’s eyes for the first time. (I misread the prompt! Whoops!)
Content warnings: mentions of lousy foster system, orphanage, implied past abuse/neglect, social workers, aro/ace character, past minor injuries (pet inflicted), mentions of anxiety and PTSD.
Word count: 2.8k
Note: Not beta-read
Patton never doubted the fact that he was lucky.
His heart always went out to those who were missing colors like green, and blue. It must be horrible, he thought, to be missing out on the hue of a grassy field or the sky forever being grey, even on clear days. But then again, meeting your soulmate after seeing nature as dismal shades for years must be amazing; trees suddenly lighting up in brilliant emerald and water becoming as crystal blue as a diamond. So he was grateful, because he was missing a color that was surprisingly rare to find in nature, if the shocking lack of grey was enough of an indicator. Grateful, because that meant he wouldn’t be missing out. Grateful, because Patton didn’t want a soulmate.
It had taken him years to realize why he was so adamant about actually finding his soulmate. Everyone, from his middle school class to his university study group to his coworkers now, had frequent conversations about the topic. Common ice breakers amongst groups were “what color are you missing?” and “tell us about the first time you saw ‘insert color name here’” and just anything else that reminded Patton of how little he wanted all of that. He was happy with his friends, happy with his family-- both blood and chosen-- and the idea of… romantic relationships just made him uncomfortable. He hated that it seemed to be the rest of the world’s main drive in life. Every time he explained his ‘predicament’, had to explain to someone that he was aro/ace and just didn’t want all that, he was met with pity looks. No one believed him when he insisted that it didn’t make him sad, he wasn’t just waiting for the right person, he just didn’t want it and that was okay.
That didn’t explain why he was missing a color, though. If it were up to him, he’d spend the rest of his life content with the way it was going, not searching for a so-called “better half”. He wished that soulmates weren’t a thing, in full honesty. Because then he wouldn’t be reminded every time he looked at a dull lilac bush that no, the universe had paired him up with someone and it was only a matter of time until he was subject to meeting them. It was the thing he dreaded more than anything else.
These were the thoughts going through his mind as he fiddled with a pen between his fingers that appeared as grey to him, absently wondering what ‘purple’ actually looked like. The door to his right opened and he looked up, a bright smile spreading across his face.
“Hi, Mr. Sanders. My name is Deborah, I’m one of the social workers here.”
“Nice to meet you,” Patton said, his heart almost beating out of it’s chest. She took a seat across the desk from him, placing the file in her hands onto the pristine wood. He laid the pen back on the desk where he’d taken it from.
“So,” Her tone was all business, but her eyes held a distinct sparkle that could only be taken as a good sign, “I’m the social worker of one of the children’s profiles you flagged on the adoption website. Do you remember a ‘Virgil Storm’?”
“Absolutely!” Patton remembered the picture of the kid well. A small boy sitting cross legged in a sandbox, looking at the camera with an expression that could only be described as disdain, hands buried in the sand. He was noticeably separated from the group, the hood of his black jacket pulled over his eyes despite the shining sun. After reading the small blurb about him, and immediately growing attached to the toddler that had been tossed around four foster homes in the single year he’d been orphaned, he’d clicked the small smiley face in the top right corner with no hesitation.
“I was given your file, and after discussing it with your social worker, we’ve decided you two might be a match.”
Patton nearly dropped on the spot, trying in vain to hold back his huge grin, “I thought they said that could take up to a year!”
“That is our usual estimate. While, unfortunately, the adoption rate is a lot lower for single men, you were put through faster due to your profession. You being a therapist definitely pushed you forward in the right direction.”
Opening the file, she pulled out a stack of papers and a single picture, handing them to him. The picture was the same as the one on the adoption website, so his eyes turned to scan the printed profile.
“This is all his current information. Known family history, allergies, education level, etcetera,” The social worker continued, gesturing to the file, “That picture’s a bit old. He just turned three. He’s had a… pretty rough go of it so far. The information about his parent’s passing are in his file, if you want to give the whole thing a read when you have the chance.”
Patton tore his eyes away from the photo, “And he’s a possible match?”
“Yes, he is. He needs a stable home environment with no pets and no other children, and due to the trauma he experienced, has severe anxiety. Him developing PTSD as he ages is a large possibility. He’s a bit of a tough nut to crack, but we believe he’ll thrive with you.”
He took a deep breath, nodding mutely along with her words. He didn’t trust himself to speak right now, not with the odd mix of pure heartbreak and elation flowing through him. The poor kid…
“You can take the file home, take some time to think about it-”
“No,” He said quickly, “I mean… I don’t need to think about it. How do you determine if we match well?”
Deborah blinked a couple times, taken back by his abruptness. “Well… chemistry after a first meeting, judging if the child’s uncomfortable with the other, and meeting with the child and parent weekly for the first three months, then bi-weekly for the next three. After a six month residency, we can get the adoption legalized by the court. Both your social worker and I will be there every step of the way to answer any questions, help with the adjustment process, and just support you both.” She looked to Patton with a raised eyebrow, “Are you sure you don’t want to take some time?”
“I’m very sure.” He’d flagged many profiles on the website, feeling an unexplainable amount of guilt every time he didn’t, but Virgil’s had stuck with him more than any other. The idea of a kid already riddled with social anxiety and trauma had hit him hard, and he wanted nothing more than to be able to help him through it.
“Would you like to meet him?”
“Yes please,” He said before she had even finished speaking. She gave him a small smile and headed to the door, warning him it might be a while to convince the boy to come with her, so to just sit tight.
When she’d closed the door behind her, Patton turned his attention back to the file on his lap. He might as well read it while she was gone, anyways. It didn’t take long for him to read the few pages of information, committing Virgil’s birthday to memory. A small part of his brain advised that that might not be the smartest thing to do, already getting attached to a child he hadn’t even met, but his heart broke reading over the history of someone so young, still a toddler, undergoing trauma that no one should ever have to go through. The poor kid watched his parents die, and they were pretty awful people to begin with.
He’d read the file twice over when the door reopened. At first he thought she’d come back alone and his heart sunk, until she shifted to the side and revealed the small boy who’d tucked himself behind her. He wasn’t touching her, not holding the hand she had offered to him, just following steps behind, like he was equally scared of her as he was of everything else. Pulled over his head was the same black hoodie as in the picture, looking a size too small now. It took a lot of tugging for him to hide his hands in the short sleeves, an anxious sign that Patton recognized immediately. Though, it wasn’t hard to narrow down, not with the way he was absolutely shaking.
Patton slid off his chair with no hesitation, smoothly lowering himself to the ground so he was closer to eye level with Virgil. Still, the young child pulled his chin even closer to his chest, adamant on not meeting the man’s eyes.
“Hey kiddo,” Patton cooed gently, “My name’s Patton. You can call me Pat if that’s easier, okay? What’s your name?” He already knew everything about him, obviously, but it seemed a smart choice to let the kid introduce himself; avoid spooking him.
“Virgil,” he whispered back, mouth half covered by the collar of his hoodie.
“That’s a real nice name, kiddo.”
Finally, the small boy looked up, dark brown eyes barely peeking through his equally dark bangs. His head tilted to the side, not unlike a curious puppy, as he studied the man in front of him, the man who was willingly sitting on the floor for him. None of his foster parents had done that before, and he highly doubted his parents would have ever considered it. Thinking of his birth parents caused him to shrink in on himself slightly.
“How would you feel about living with me, Virgil?”
He looked down, wrestling his hands free of the dirty sleeves to fiddle with his zipper. “Like a foster home? I don’ like foster homes.” His speech was slow and fumbly, like he was working with new words.
“No, not like a foster home. For good.”
“With other kids?” Hands flat, he pushed his bangs out of his face and ended up letting his hood flop back. “In my last foster home, there were four kids.” He held up four fingers to emphasize his point.
“Nope,” Patton chuckled, leaning over to reattach the velcro on Virgil’s sneakers, “It would just be you and me. But I live really close to a park, so we can go play with other kids any time you want. And I have some friends with kids your age, and whenever you feel ready, you can meet them.”
This seemed to send a flurry of mixed emotions across the toddlers face. He glanced at the social worker, who had taken her seat and was watching the meeting with rapt attention.
“Do you have pets?”
“Nope. Why, do you like pets?”
He shook his head with clear fear, ruining all his hard work of pushing his bangs away as they fell right back into his eyes, “No pets.”
“Well, then it’s good I don’t have any.”
Virgil gave him a hard look and Patton was silent, letting the child scrutinize him with all the intensity of a rocket scientist. Watching the elder’s hands carefully, the kid dropped to the ground in front of him, slowly meeting his eyes again. Patton couldn’t help the wide grin that stretched across his face.
“Welcome to the floor, kiddo.” And oh, it was a blessed day, because the tiny smile he got in return was enough to make his heart melt. “Tell me, Virgil, what’s your favorite show?”
“Paw Patrol.”
“Ah, a classic! Do you have a favorite pup?”
“Rubble,” He mumbled after a moment of consideration, scratching at the rip in his jeans, right over his knee, “He’s funny. He falls in the elevator, and he says ‘Rubble ooon the double!’”
“You don’t like pets, but you like Paw Patrol? Why’s that?” He couldn’t help his own inner therapist coming out.
Virgil shrugged, “They don’t bark loud, and they’re little. And they don’t make big messes or bite. Dogs are cute but I don’t like them. Dogs are too loud and they leave a mess.”
He felt there was probably a lot to unpack there, but that could definitely wait for another day. Deep inside, he knew there must be some trauma buried with that sentiment. “Do you like cats?”
“No. They scratch and bite and hiss too much,” He held up his hand to Patton, showing him the light scars on the backs of them, “We had a cat named Whiskers and he did that. He’d come in my room at night and bite me.”
“Just as well. I’m allergic to cats anyways.”
“I’m allergic to peanuts.”
Patton giggled, and a relieved expression crossed the younger’s face. “What about fish? They’re pretty quiet, and they for sure don’t bite. Do you like fish?”
He seemed to ponder this for a moment, before shrugging again, “I don’t know.”
“That’s okay. Maybe if you like fish, we can get some. How does that sound?”
Virgil perked up, his leg starting to bounce from where it was crossed under him, “Really?”
“Yeah, kiddo. We can also get you a new hoodie, since that one seems a bit small.” Of course, he meant to buy him more than just a hoodie, but he might as well start small. The very idea of getting a fish seemed to almost overwhelm him.
“I like my hoodie,” Virgil’s voice dropped and he curled in on himself, wrestling to pull the sleeves over his fingers again.
“Oh, that’s okay! You can keep that one, but we’ll get more, just so you can wear them when this one is in the wash.”
His eyebrows scrunched together adorably, his back relaxing. It hurt Patton, to think that having such basic needs met was a shock for him.
“If you two don’t mind, I’m going to talk to just Virgil for a little bit,” Deborah spoke up, causing Virgil to flinch. “Is that okay with you, sweetie?”
He nodded reluctantly, and Patton took his leave, sending Virgil one final supportive smile before closing the office door behind him. He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, before taking a seat in the waiting room. It would be a lie to admit he wasn’t already enamoured with the little kid, but the final decision wasn’t up to him. Ultimately, it would be Virgil and the social worker who would deem it a match or not. Knowing that’s what was happening on the other side of the door was enough to make his leg bounce nervously.
He passed the time by pulling out his phone and sending a vague update to his friends. The onslaught of messages he got in return, mostly ecstatic, was enough to distract him as he waited to be called back in. Of course, not all the responses were enthusiastic, mainly from his parents and sister, asking if he was sure he was ready for this. Those, he just left on read. Because yes, he was ready. He had been for a long time.
When he was called back into the room, Virgil was sitting in the much too large chair in front of the desk, his feet pulled up under him again and looking between him and the social worker. His hood was back on his head, sleeves covering his hands once more.
“From what Virgil and I discussed, it seems we are ready to begin the process of moving him into your house, and beginning your residency period.”
Patton tried not to whoop at the news, grinning wider than he had all day. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this utterly elated, so light on his feet.
They agreed to show Virgil the home, just to get him used to the layout before finally moving there, and he would come visit during the days for the next few weeks, still spending his nights in the orphanage. It was a gradual transition, one that Patton hoped went smoothly, because oh gosh he couldn’t believe this was happening.
As he led Virgil out of the building, the small boy hesitantly reached up and took his hand, head tucked to his chest. He was so scared. Patton squeezed his hand a little, heart equally shattered and melted, as he walked to the social worker’s car and let her buckle him into her carseat. They agreed to meet at the house, and Patton pulled onto the main road, music blasting to try and drown out the indescribable joy bubbling in his chest.
If he hadn’t been so distracted, he might have noticed the pen he’d placed on the desk back in the office, would now have been a shimmering purple in his eyes.
#lywrites#tsshipmonth2020#parental moxiety#patton sanders#virgil sanders#ts soulmate au#sanders sides#sanderssides#sanders sides fanfiction#sanderssidesfanfiction#sanderssidesau#ts adoption au
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Something About Pride
Summary: It's Pride Month! Dean tries to make sure you feel celebrated today, while Sammy has an inner dilemma about Castiel.
Pairings: Bi!Reader x Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester x Castiel
A/N: I had more alternative titles for that one (too in love to think straight and the gay angel), but this one fits a lot! A bit late, I know.
"Shouldn't you buy him a gift or something? It's like a full on gay Valentine's Day," Dean said in a husky voice, barely functioning in the light of morning as he prepared the daily coffee for him and Sam along with your cold lemon tea.
His little brother didn't bother giving him an articulate answer other than a mild glare at his back. (Y/N) simply rolled your eyes at your boyfriend's statement, a small grin on your lips. Dean could be simultaneously clueless, dumb and cute sometimes.
‘’I doubt Cass knows what pride month is, honestly.’’ You glance at Sam, resting your hand on his arm with a friendly smile. “But I think it would be cool if you somehow celebrated with him.’’
‘’Wait,’’ Dean interrupted the conversation, placing the coffee pot and your cup of tea on the table. ‘’Do you want to celebrate it?’’ he asked, suddenly worried about somehow being negligent on something important to you.
‘’Nah, I'm good. Being myself is all the celebration I need right now.’’ You grinned at him, withdrawing your hand arm to grab the cup full of chilled tea. It was adorable how caring Dean was. ‘’Besides, your gift this morning was good enough.’’
The wink you offered, followed by Dean's double-meaning smirk caused Sammy to huff lightly and purse his lips. ‘’Leave the weird kinks for the bedroom, guys. And more silently. I can hear.’’
His elder brother rolled his eyes and claimed the seat next to you. ‘’And I thought he would get some after he got with Cass.’’
‘’I think he would like it,” you continued after taking a sip of your tea. ‘’Maybe you could bring him to a parade?’’
‘’And explain him that pride month happens because people were killed and tortured for loving someone?’’ Sam replied, a hint of harshness in his voice. It was obvious he didn’t want to snap, but it could be a delicate situation when the brunette male thought about it. Castiel clearly knew that love has no boundaries regarding to gender — his angel nature and the fact that he had various vessels through the ages made him indifferent when it came to sex — but he probably wasn't aware that it hadn't been always like this on earth. Part of Sam didn't want to explain too much. For once, he wanted to make himself believe that not knowing could be a blessing.
You laid your eyes on him, a frown on your face. Dean was silent like he usually would be during conversations like this. Rather, he was pouring coffee for him and Sammy.
Sighing, the taller man tried to reason with himself. "I'm sorry, it's just — "
‘’It's okay. I get it,” you said, refusing further explanation. You remembered how nervous Sam was to tell Dean and how broken he was after realizing that John would never know part of what made him who he was. He was paralyzed, even, spine chilled with horror as he’d considered how his father could react. ‘’The accumulation of history, this heteronormative society. it’s buried deep inside everyone. It makes coming out necessary and scary, and even sometimes it backfires as if we were doing something wrong. Some people even tell us it’s something wrong, but that doesn’t make all that we have achieved any less important or beautiful.”
Dean's hand found your high under the table. It’s a soft squeeze and not in the teasing manner that you’re used to. His own little way of supporting you, of saying I'm here if you want to talk or drink about it. I have your back. He has been always supportive when it came to your bisexuality and his brother's sexuality. You pecked his cheek.
‘’I know, it is just…’’ Sam shrugged, his hazel eyes getting puffy. ‘’What Cas and I have — It's innocent. It's good. I don't want him to doubt it or something because of what a bunch of ignorant people think. Does that make sense?’’
‘’Cass has had the hots for you for years, dude. He didn't run away from us when he had to go against Chuck, go to the purgatory or when you offered him rabbit food. He won't leave anymore.’’
Although he coated his tongue with a humorous truth, it broke Dean's heart to hear the fragility in his little brother's voice. For as much as Castiel was his best friend, he was ready to punch the grace out of that angel if he hurt Sammy.
‘’He is right, Sam. Castiel wouldn't doubt your relationship for that. It's Pride Month. History isn't known for being pretty, but victorious. And we won.’’
‘’Sometimes I just wish we didn't have to fight,’’ Sammy said quietly, shrugging while he grabbed the cup of coffee to bring to his lips.
You gave him a solidary glare, an empathetic smile adding in your expression. You held his huge hand in yours, rubbing your thumb into Sam's palm.
‘’I know.’’ What was left to say? It was unfair as most things in centuries. It was revolting. But above all, it was changing. Love was finally being seen in every way. Things were slowly getting better. ‘’But we keep fighting, right? And we get something good.’’ You pulled away, drinking more of your lemon tea. Sam nodded, sniffling a bit while he recomposed himself. ‘’You could keep it simple if you explain, like…’’
‘’Tell him it is a full-month of exclusively gay Valentine,’’ Dean suggested, smiling genuinely at his idea and wiggling his eyebrows.
Sam sighed and you scrunched your nose, but had to agree with your boyfriend. That would be a good way to describe it to Castiel.
‘’You could bring him to a parade or give him one of those tiny rainbow flags, like Captain Holt’s. It's cute!’’
Dean grimaced. ‘’Don't be that chick flick, Sammy.’’
‘’How is that chick flick, Winchester?’’ You arched your eyebrow, almost challenging him to continue.
The long-haired brother just chuckled at you two, rising from the chair with his cup in hand. He needed to think about Castiel and the whole month's explanation deal.
‘’All right, I'll let you two argue alone.’’
Sammy could hear the words that grow more quietly as he stepped away from the kitchen.
‘’Are you sure you don't want to go to a parade or something?’’
It brings an amount of pride that he didn't think he would feel, just like the joy.
Sam Winchester wasn’t the kind of man to get nervous mincing words, especially near his family. That was why he almost felt ashamed when the faint tremble in his voice became noticeable enough for even him to detect when he spoke to his boyfriend.
‘’So, Cass, I wanted to talk to you about something.’’
The hunter wanted to scream stupid at himself for the tiny frown on Castiel's usual tranquil expression. When Sam said similar words to the angel, it was most likely to be a life or death situation, or a Dean becoming a demon situation, or a Chuck about to destroy the world situation.
And he certainly wasn't this anxious when he first brought it up to his brother and you.
‘’What is this about?’’
‘’Full-gay Valentine's Day, but it's a month.’’ Dean arched his eyebrows, pursed lips parting into a proud smile. You slapped his arm. Unbelievable. ‘’What? You agree!’’
You held his arm and dragged him out of the room. Sam needed privacy. As you and his brother walked away between whispers, he let out a breath that he didn't even notice the holding.
For a split of second, Sammy almost followed you two to bring Dean and his stupid jokes back to the subject.
The hunter coughed, but his angel lover just remained standing there; calm blue eyes waiting for his next speech, head subtly titled to the side because of his curiosity.
‘’Uh, Pride Month.’’
For his surprise, Castiel answered with a nod, ‘’The month of love, I believe? It is very colorful to see.’’
‘’You know what it is?’’ Sammy frowned in confusion, approaching his boyfriend with a soft smile. It was a weird relief. He wouldn't dare to tell Cass how some humans saw their relationship. Not that they mattered, anyway. But it'd haunt him how his lover could react. After all, Castiel was still considerably new to the human world as a dweller.
‘’Yes, I do. A month to celebrate romantic relationships,” the blue-eyed man said. Once he saw the look on Sam’s face, he quickly added, ‘’I saw it on the television.’’
‘’Yeah, it's, huh, kinda like that. But not fully.’’ He gave him a tight smile. Sammy was close enough to hold his hand, and so he did. God, it was possible to feel his body relax just with that mere touch. If Samuel didn't know any better, he'd theorize that he could sense Castiel's grace. But no, it must've been love in its purest form. ‘’It's important for relationships too, but it is mostly about self pride. Like accepting and praising part of who you are.’’
Cass intertwined their fingers, enjoying the way Sam's soul shone brighter to his closeness. It was such a majestic view.
‘’I was thinking, maybe we could go to one of them. Or just have a date. It's kind of our special month on earth. Well, the backstory isn't that nice, but — ’’
‘’Many things in humanity aren't, Sam. You are not a harmonic kind. Like bees,’’ Castiel said, butting into his human's babbling as he noticed how agitated his aura became. As if he was scared for some reason. Sam gulped, the prior anxious feeling crawling back in a bigger form. ‘’Although, it is an honorable celebration for a great cause. I would like to enjoy this with you.”
Sammy's mouth was open in a perfect shape of an O. Features echoing his mixed feelings of intrigue and shock, he had to make sure of what he heard by asking: ‘’You would?’’
‘’Yes, Sa — Honey.’’ The graceful being was still learning the perks of being in a romantic relationship. Pet names were a new thing to him, but honey was his favorite. Mostly because of its association with his favorite insect. ‘’We could go for one of the group walks on the street? The sensation to be there seems — ’’
“Freeing?’’ He smiled, pulling Castiel closer to his taller figure with a free hand. Not a worry in earth, hell and heaven catching his mind now.
Castiel curved his lips into a smile. It was tiny, but it was there, just like the hold on his waist. Would every move of his angel make him experience this peaceful embrace? He believed so. Perhaps that was the happiness that he found in the chaos of his life. That his brother found. And it was good. God, it was amazing. Heaven in one angel, just for him.
‘’Exactly, like pride.’’ Sam's words come only to be soon replaced by his lips pressing against Castiel's in a kiss.
He felt so proud to love him. No one could take it away.
And they wouldn't.
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#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#sastiel#dean winchester x reader#sam winchester x castiel#sastiel fanfic#sastiel fanfiction#spn sastiel#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester imagines#dean winchester headcanon#dean winchester headcanons#sam winchester x you#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester imagines#sam winchester headcanon#sam winchester imagine#dean winchester x you#dean winchester x reader fanfic#dean x you#dean x y/n#dean winchester x reader fanfiction#dean winchester spn#spn fanfic#spn fanfiction#spn reader insert#spn#supernatural imagines#supernatural
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Now That I Know
A/N: Here’s my first submission for Buddie First Kiss Week @buddiefirstkissweek. Prompt: relating to Pride. You can read it over on AO3 here
Thanks to Nicole for the beta, and to Jessica for helping me with the title.
** Buck loves living in L.A.
Experiencing Pride in L.A. sets his love of the city to a different spectrum. The bright colors of the LGBT flag bring a genuine smile. Colors that represent love, change, hope, growth, and acceptance. The Pride parade is a place where he doesn’t have to explain himself, a place where he doesn’t have to try so hard, a place where he can just be Buck, without consideration of his sexuality.
Getting to experience his favorite event of the year with Eddie for the first time? Buck thinks he’s soaring.
Pride never stops. Pride never stops. Pride never stops.
The chant sends a warm feeling through his chest as Eddie walks at Buck’s side towards where they’re meeting the rest of the 118 family.
Eddie is sometimes a little rigid and serious, so the fact that he’s willing to step outside of his comfort zone to experience something this important to Buck hasn’t gone unrecognized. There’s a megawatt grin on Buck’s face, easily lighting up the currently rainbow clad streets. Buck’s gone all out, head to toe in bright colors that scream Pride. Because Buck is proud.
Buck grins, trying to read Eddie’s expression whose eyes scan over the crowds. He’s carefully taking in the parade— the brightly colored floats, the people dancing in the streets, the Pride Over Prejudice signs. “So, what do you think?”
“It’s…” Eddie trails off as he looks around them, quite possibly searching for the all-encompassing words to sum it up. Eddie continues to observe Pride and instead of looking at Buck, he drops his gaze to the ground. It’s only for a moment, and Eddie rubs a hand over the back of his neck with his eyes fixed on the ground. Eddie clears his throat before his eyes finally find Buck’s again, his voice is softer than usual, “it’s incredible, Buck.”
“Oh, look! Here they are!” Buck bounces along, waving his flag as they join their friends. “Hen! Karen!” In an instant, Buck is swooping into their space and giving them hugs.
“Hey Cap, Athena.” Eddie nods with an easy smile. Chim and Maddie arrive only a few minutes later. Buck notices that they’re standing only about a dozen feet away from a large rainbow balloon arch.
“We need pictures to commemorate everyone coming today, instead of me being Hen and Karen’s third wheel for the second year in a row,” Buck laughs. Buck feels Eddie’s eyes on him and resists the urge to raise his brow at Eddie. “C’mon man.”
“Alright, let’s do this,” Eddie says after a minute, shoving his hands into the front pocket of the black hoodie that he’s wearing.
“Aren’t you sweating? It’s June and you’re wearing a hooded sweatshirt. A black hooded sweatshirt,” Buck says.
There’s a moment where Buck doesn’t think that Eddie’s going to respond. Then, “I’m fine.”
Buck barely stops himself from rolling his eyes. Under the rainbow balloon arch, Buck takes a selfie with Eddie, then Karen and Hen, Bobby and Athena, Maddie and Chimney. He realizes how lucky he is to have such accepting people in his life. That hadn’t always been the case for Buck.
“We were gonna go check some things out-” Bobby begins before being abruptly cut off.
“Wait, wait,” Buck shifts the bag that’s on his shoulder. “I almost forgot about these. I had shirts made for everyone.” Buck pulls out a stack of t-shirts from his bag. He motions to Hen and Karen who are wearing their own pride gear, “Well, except for Team Wilson over there.”
“Shirts, huh?” Chim asks as he slots his fingers with Maddie’s.
“Yeah, Ally shirts. I got everyone’s sizes from Cap, so they should all fit.” He passes the shirts out before finally tossing one to Eddie.
There’s an unreadable expression on Eddie’s face and he hesitates as he looks at the shirt in his hand before he speaks. “I’m not wearing an Ally shirt.”
Buck’s face falls immediately. “Eddie.” He isn’t sure what to say at first aside from the fact that he put a lot of effort into these shirts and the person that he wants to support him the most, isn’t. “Eddie, come on. Even Athena is wearing one.”
Eddie looks at Buck, confused. “I’m not wearing an ally shirt, Buck. I’m-I’m not an ally.” Buck swallows hard. He’s not going to throw a tantrum in the middle of the Pride parade, he’s not. But what the fuck crawled up Eddie’s ass and burrowed in there before he came out here today?
“So, what? You decided to join us all at the Pride parade and instead of being supportive you’re gonna wear your black hoodie and just — be anti-Pride?”
“Buck, I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” Bobby says.
Eddie rolls his eyes. “I’ve got this, Bobby.”
He’s got this?
Buck watches as Eddie grabs the edge of his hoodie before he moves to pull it over his head. He’s wearing a shirt with soft tones of pink, blue and purple. He’s never seen Eddie wear any of these colors before. If it’s not the colors on the shirt, then does being called an ally make Eddie uncomfortable? Why is he being so damn difficult wearing the shirt? “I’m not anti-pride, and I’m sure as hell not here to be unsupportive of you or anyone else for that matter. I’m just not-”
“You’re not what? If you’re here to be supportive, why won’t you just wear the shirt that I had made for you?” Buck’s brow knits together in confusion.
“Evan,” Maddie’s voice breaks through the noise, just enough that Buck can hear her. “Do the colors that Eddie’s wearing mean anything?”
“They’re the colors of the bi-flag, but it’s not like-” Buck starts and stops quickly, glancing at Maddie for a moment who seems to be nodding along, waiting for Buck to catch up. He turns to Eddie then, “You’re bi?”
“I thought that’s why you asked me to come with you in the first place.” Eddie laughs in disbelief.
“No, I asked you to come because this matters to me and you’re my best friend.”
This is too much. It’s all too much. How did he not see this? How had Buck just not noticed that the man that’s supposed to be his best friend isn’t straight?
“Oh,” Eddie whispers, nodding his head slightly. Buck registers the slight flush to Eddie’s cheeks, and the realization hits him. Being out, letting everyone see Eddie like this isn’t easy for him. But he’s stripped off his hoodie, revealing himself, making himself vulnerable to the crowds around him — to the people closest to him. He’s giving himself permission to just be Eddie, however different that definition might be from what people usually assume.
Even Buck.
Buck glances around, noticing that Maddie has rejoined Chimney with the rest of the group. He turns his attention back to Eddie. There are words on the tip of his tongue, words that he should probably never say. And yet he finds himself opening his mouth, warring against every voice in his head that is screaming at him to proceed with caution. “Well, now that I know, I can ask you out on a date.” Buck tries to keep his voice even, tries to keep the doubt hidden down deep, tries to pretend that he’s not terrified of Eddie shooting him down.
Eddie simply hums, and Buck opens his mouth to start with the apologies. Eddie shakes his head, bringing his finger to Buck’s lips to silence him. “Now that I know you’re interested, I can kiss you.”
Buck stands there, blinks as his brain once again tries to catch up. Eddie steps into his space and all muscle memory seems to be forgotten. Buck has to remind himself to swallow before he begins to choke. He feels the brush of Eddie’s hand against his face, thumb moving along his jawline. Buck’s hand drops to Eddie’s hip and he angles himself closer, eyes closing as he feels Eddie’s breath hot against his face, sending goosebumps dancing across his skin.
He’s not sure what he expects when Eddie’s lips brush against his, but it’s not the tenderness that he gets. The light brush of lips sends a fluttering from his stomach that blossoms in his chest. Buck’s lost in the notes of mint and citrus that he tastes, and he’s sure that it’s his new favorite flavor. Buck’s fingers curl gently into the nape of Eddie’s neck, teasing against the gentle skin there. Buck slowly withdraws and the noises from the parade bring him back to the realness of the moment; the realization that this isn’t Buck just thinking about kissing Eddie.
His blue eyes search Eddie’s hazel ones, and Buck’s heart floats when he sees the upturn of Eddie’s lips. The noise around them seems louder than before, and that’s when Buck realizes it.
It’s their family, cheering and whooping in the middle of Pride. And Buck couldn’t be happier.
#911 fox#buddiefirstkiss#firstkiss2020#prompt: related to pride#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#my writing#fanfic
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.: Coffee By the Ocean :.
Because to this day, I’m still thinking about my childhood crush on Gary Oak. And hey, his game counterpart grew up. So what if we met again? After all those years...
I don’t know. I just have thoughts.
The Alolan beaches were always beautiful, no matter how many times Blue found himself staring. Walking by one was inevitable, but in the moments he took, stopping to watch the waves roll in, admire the blue-green of the sea, shining under the sun, really feeling the wind... It made him smile a little more. Feel a little calmer.
Red had long since wandered off, Pikachu still on his shoulders. He wanted to go shopping, get lunch, and then reunite with Red before they headed back for the Battle Tree. That’s why there were here, after all...
Or so Blue kept trying to convince himself. It is why they came; the trip was Red’s idea. He wanted to battle with new trainers in a new region and had asked Blue if he had enough free time to join him. Well, of course he did! So they’d gone together. It wasn’t until Blue was on the ship, reading a magazine, did he read about someone familiar- someone from their past- having moved to the islands for a vacation.
Fresh out of Unova, having just returned for a short time since her leave to Kalos...
Blue had been in a tizzy since, nervously looking over the crowds for a familiar face. Keeping an eye out for an Eevee, a Victini, a Sylveon... Something that said her pokemon. Though with no luck so far. He knew he was worrying Red with this (at the least; he was also getting suspicious over why Blue had suddenly gotten so paranoid), but... If he saw her one more time, maybe.....
“Hey, Zacharie! That’s not nice!! You have to be nice to your brother!” A scolding on the beach caught his attention, freezing in his step to look down to the corner of the beach... There were two Torracats and their trainer. Brown hair under a sun hat, shorter than he remembered, with glasses. They were wearing a summer cardigan, shorts, and a tank top...? He could remember when she was too shy to wear those in public... Showing too much skin would be the end of her, he remembered her whining.
He slowly walked down to the beach, pausing again. Sylveon, laying down on a chair, taking a nap in the shade. All these years...and she finally evolved. His hand itched for the Umbreon he didn’t have with him. The Eevees once thick as thieves...
Well. Breathe in deep, and time to approach.
“Oh gosh, you two...” As Blue approached, one of the Torracats froze, looking back at him with a growing glare, ears flattening. Uh-oh. Looks like someone was protective. “Hey, Zacharie! Who are you growling.....at...” Her question faded as she looked up at Blue, jaw dropping slightly as she stared at him.
“...Blue?”
“Hey.” He waved shyly, his heart racing...as hard as he’s ever felt, looking at her again. The only comfort was her Sylveon perking up at the sound of his voice, crying out in delight and remembrance, hopping off the chair to rub against his legs happily. Who couldn’t smile at that?
“Oh... Oh my gosh. It-It’s been years!!! How have you been?! What brings you to Alola?” She started stepping over to him, only to nearly trip over her still overprotective Torracat... Zacharie? “Zach!! Why- Calm down, I know him! Why don’t you help Valerie? He could use it more!” Ah, yes... The other Torracat was trying to hide behind her legs... Oddly adorable.
But Zacharie didn’t budge from his protective stance.
“Ugh, fine. No more beach day for you two. Break!” Rachel pulled out her pokeballs, sending the two away. “Sorry... Zach’s been pretty overprotective lately. Um...” She hooked them back onto her belt and shrugged, suddenly looking pretty awkward. “You...wanna get food?”
--------
They ended up at a nearby cafe. With Sylvie behaving herself, she was allowed to stay out and eat with them...but she assured the other two would get a to-go box for home.
“They adore this place and I can’t blame them,” she said with a small laugh. “Everything about Alola has been so beautiful... I wish it was possible to bring all my pokemon here~!”
“You’d be here for the rest of your life, I’m sure,” Blue shot back with a laugh, drinking up more of his smoothie. Something... Light. Nerves were still making him shaky; the less he had to hold something and the less he had to eat, the better. Red would more than likely make up for the light lunch later, anyways.
“Right?! But it would be so worth it...” Rachel sighed, looking out over the ocean again. He wanted to join her, but instead he found himself staring at her. Chin propped up on her intertwined fingers, that smooth cheek, the dark green of her eyes getting mixed up in the blue of the sky and the shine of the ocean waters... He wasn’t even aware of how hard he was staring until she turned her head and he couldn’t make himself look away. “What? I got something on my face?”
“Uh, no, I-” Blue floundered for something to say as she giggled, before pointing at a before-unseen pin on her cardigan. “I was just...staring at that! What is it??”
“Oh, this?” She moved it, a pokemon with stripes of color... Yellow, white, purple, and black? “It’s a pokemon pride pin! I got it while I was in Unova... Realized sometime then that I...don’t really feel like my birth gender. I never really have, just didn’t know the word for it. So! I got this! Nonbinary pin~”
“Oh.” He paused. “So, is there... Do I call you...?”
“Anything different?” He nodded, nervous. “Heh, nah. I’ve been thinking about changing my name, but I haven’t settled on anything yet. All I ask...is other pronouns. I’m happiest hearing male pronouns- so he/him- but they/them is more of a preference, these days. Too much “she this” and “her that” and I’ve started feeling dysphoric.” He nodded again, noting it down. Anything to keep them talking. To keep them...around, a little longer.
To keep him from blurting out the real thing he wanted to ask...
“Did you find out anything else? While in Unova?”
“Oh heck yeah, I did!” They laughed brightly, pulling up their bag to show him a few more buttons. One with stripes of pink, yellow, and light blue. Another with white, purple, and grey stripes, but with a black, sideways triangle. Finally, one that was blue, red, and black stripes, with a yellow pi sign in the middle, on the red stripe. “Okay, so this one is the pan flag, cause I learned...that, well, I like anyone! I used to think I was bi-curious, but... Pan just feels more right to be. So there’s that...
“This one is the demisexual flag. I noticed I feel attraction to people, but if the opportunity came up to have a one-night stand... I’d just feel scared. I’m not interested in being with someone I’m not close to or have a bond with. So... This one is nice to know about myself.” Blue only felt more restless at hearing that. “Finally, this one... Poly flag~! I love all people and their lovely personalities and... I learned there’s a community for loving multiple people, too! Another place in the LGBT that I feel happy and at home in.
“A lot has changed since we last met, but I’m h-”
“Did you regret it?”
...Silence filled the air. Blue staring down at the table in silent horror, Rachel staring at his hair with shock. It was so sudden... He scared them, but also left them...confused.
“Blue...? Regret what...?”
“I...” He swallowed nervously, hands gripping his pants tightly. Trying to get the nerve to ask questions that he’d been thinking about since they’d left Kanto all those years ago. “I meant..... If you regretted...us breaking up...back then...” It was quiet again, only the wind and beach providing sound among all their tension.
“...Oh, Blue... I missed you, but... You weren’t good for me back then,” they said. Hesitantly, he looked up, seeing their distraught face and deep frown. Sylvie had wrapped her ribbons around her trainer, worried for the turn the lunch had taken. “I mean, you remember how you used to be, right? You were such...a brat. And mean! I liked you, but... I...” They hung their head, now their turn to stare at the table. “...I didn’t even know if you liked me some days. Especially since I used hang out with Red and his friends so much...”
“...That definitely made me jealous back then.”
“I figured as much,” they said with a sigh, nodding. “But c’mon... That lack of trust?”
“You admitted to being jealous of my cheerleaders.” Rachel’s face flushed, frowning...but it seemed a little more pouty than before. “Those girls were way older than I was, especially for the time. At least you had friends your age.”
“That’s not the point,” they huffed, lightly kicking his leg from under the table as they leaned back in the chair. “The point is how you used to be such a bully and I let you...! All because I really, really liked you...and I never knew how to say no. Worst of all to you.” Now it was Blue’s turn to frown, shoulders slumping.
He’d been pretty much a huge jerk for all his early childhood, but... Putting it that way? ...Yeah, that hurt. He didn’t even realize how much Rachel had been probably suffering just being around him... Guilt sat heavy on his shoulders, thinking back on it all.
“...Is that why you left Kanto?”
“That, and I had no intention of being league champion when Red was there,” they said, laughing shakily. His heart broke a little more, watching them wipe their eyes with the heel of their hand. “You guys meant a lot, but... I couldn’t stand being around someone I liked so much who was doing nothing but hurting me. That place just...hurt.
“So off to Johto. Went off to Hoenn... Badge-collecting, but I never really thought to challenge a league until Unova.”
“You stepped down though, didn’t you?” Rachel...went quiet, staring at the table blankly with their arms crossed.
“Yeah... Went off for two years. Was...trying to find an old friend.” Blue frowned, a twinge of jealously going off in his heart. That voice...that sounded a bit too personal. Too fond. But now certainly wasn’t going to be the time to dredge that up. “Ended up in Kalos. Spent a lot of my time there, especially when I learned about Sylveon... Now I’ve got Sylvie.” The pokemon gave a reaffirming chirp from below sight of the table.
“So... Alola?”
“Heard that friend went back...but I was too much of a coward to face him again. Even though I know he’d probably be looking for me still, too. Alola was advertised in Kalos as a hotspot for vacation, relaxation... You name it. So I hopped onto a ship, didn’t look back.” Rachel suddenly refocused, staring Blue down. “Hey... You never told me why you’re here...!”
“Red’s idea,” he assured, hands up and palms facing them. “He wanted us to go to the Battle Tree... I didn’t see a problem with it. I didn’t even know you were here until I was on the ship.”
“A likely story,” they huffed. “...But I’ll accept it.” He laughed a little at that, pleased to see the sound got them to smile a little, too. Something better to lighten up the mood from the sad turn it had gone down.
“Hey.” Rachel looked up at him curiously, head tilted just so; a habit it seems they never grew out of. “...You’re still beautiful.” He grinned as their face flushed, giving him another light kick under the table.
“Ugh, shut up...!! Don’t try to fluster me, Mr. Meanie Jerk.”
“What are you, ten again?” He snarked, laughing as he moved his chair back enough for his own legs to retaliate. “I could come up with something better in my sleep! ...But nothing to match you.”
His laughter only intensified as they groaned, officially playing a slightly more aggressive game of footsie. Blue trying to survive and step on their feet to hold them down, Rachel just trying to kick another day in her tsundere grumpiness.
It was only a loud clap that made them stop, the duo looking up to see an amused Red, his arms crossed and Pikachu already leaving him the second he spotted Sylvie.
“...What? She- They won’t accept my compliments!”
“He’s being a jerk again, Red, don’t listen to him. I’m trying to regain my honor.” Red made a low hum sound...then proceeded to nod, step closer...and noogie Blue’s head.
“Hey, what-?!? BETRAYAL!!!” He yelled, flailing in an attempted to get Red off and shoo him away... Not that it worked as well as he’d hoped. Red did eventually let go, but only to walk over to Rachel- who’d gotten up out of their chair- and give him a hug.
“Nice to see you again, Red.” His hands began moving, though Blue couldn’t tell what he was saying to them. “Oh, yeah, absolutely! That would be nice.” More sign.
“The Battle Tree? I’d love to, but that’s never been my style... I thought you knew me better than that?” Red huffed, signing more, but seeming to be more aggressive with it, this time. They just laughed, nodding. “I know you want to fight again, but I didn’t bring any of my best team! They’re all still in boxes, currently inaccessible here. Sorry, Red... Some other time.”
Red seemed to finally be defeated, sighing with his shoulders slumped. It was only watching Rachel pat his shoulder, trying to offer reassurances, did Blue blink back to life. Wait a whole minute--
“You-? You learned how to read sign?!?”
“Yeah! Studied in between Unova and Kalos,” they admitted with a laugh. “Figured it was about time...! Learn something new, y’know? I’m just glad it came in handy!!
“Anyways... I should get back to my hotel. Zacharie and Valerie need lunch.” Red tilted his head curiously. “I can introduce you sometime! Zach might actually like you... How long are you here for?”
“I ‘unno,” Blue said, filling in for Red. “However long he wants to be, really.”
“Oh! Cool! I guess it all works out, then!” Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Rachel smiled brightly at them. “See you around! Don’t be shy to say hello if you see me, too, okay?” With a final wave, Rachel and Sylvie set off to the counter to pick up a to-go box for their other pokemon, Red still standing by the table. He looked at Blue curiously, raising a brow...but Blue was still dragging his eyes away from them.
“...What’s that look for?” Red smirked a little, hands signing. “Wh- Huh?!? Don’t even joke about that!!!! Ugh, you’re so-” Blue huffed, fuming as he took another long drink of his smoothie, ignoring the heat on his own face.
It was just the sun, anyways... Didn’t mean anything. Red signed something from the corner of his vision.
“....Don’t even say that...they might actually...” He kicked his foot, frowning. It shouldn’t be so hard. It should’ve been easy...but everything was complicated now. And his fears of having them back were just as big as the fears of letting them go again.
#self insert#self insert community#self ship#self ship community#pokemon self insert#Aki Stories#anyways I Want To Scream#I want to be in denial#I wanna leave this mofo in the past#bUT GUESS WHAT I CAN'T DO?!?#what is it like....to lose feelings for someone??#would like to know#bc I sure cAN'T DO THAT EVER#FECK#also pls catch the reference for my Torracats#they're a reference to another thing#and do I actually have them?? both??#the answer is yes#they are both my babies#I love them
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113 potential Easter eggs in the ME! Music video:
One eyed (pink) snake (hopefully not like THAT)
Eye reference Kaylor Reputation picture
Multi colored cobble stones
The snake almost bit me, but I took back the narrative and turned it into something beautiful (Reputation)
The snake turned out to be just a kaleidoscope of butterflies
Rainbow butterflies
Butterflies can’t reach into the glass closet
Staged fighting with a love interest
Speaking French
Christmas tree/christmas reference
The ladies/daughters/cats
Cat looking at door in paintings
Perfect house that doesn’t feel like home (?)
Flowers on dress
Dixie chicks
Several cook chicks
Pictures in frames
Cartier books
Love interest wearing suspenders (and a tie)
You are so dramatic / Je suis CALME! (Her reputation)
Red doors
Stepping out from the glass closet
Walking towards the daylight/coming out
Palm trees
Silhouettes
Shadows
Jumping over hurdles
Numbers 7 and 13
Feeling all kinds of things, but putting on a smile and pretending everything’s all right
Being dramatic (uh!) is an act
Clouds in my coffee reference (?) or the clouds representing all the rainstorms she had to walk through before feeling clean
Feeling alone with her monsters
Feeling like she’s getting eaten up by the trouble, but realizing she’s stronger for it
Past lurking in the shadows
Deciding to not pick up the phone for just anyone
There are so many stairways leading up and back to the closet, but she’s headed out the front door (not hiding or letting herself be derailed anymore)
One stepping out (coming out) before the other. Being left behind in the closet, wondering if the other cool chicks would be as good.
Being in control of your own narrative
Leaving the doors open for others to come out
Being a boss (Kloss) and in control, but still soft
Surrounding yourself with smart people (women)
Leading other cool chicks to be themselves
Briefcases must mean something
White and yellow striped pavement (rays of sun?)
Note the side entrance that’s more private
I may fall, but you pick me up and support me
Pastels – colors has to be a theme
Rainbows
Metamorphosis and crystalis
Lamp posts
Cute litte town far away where she feels at home
The (noise of) the big city is far behind
Panther in the glass closet still
Time on clock signaling the next coming out?
Yellow flowers signaling what exactly?
Looking at the rainbow people and wanting to join them (Karlie)
Wink – referencing Gorgeous – giving her the all clear to join her
Jumping out from the glass closet (Karlie) Mary Poppins style
Colorful guys (exes?)
Wearing daisies?!
Could all the other people with umbrellas represent different coming out methods and how they’re all flawed? (Taylor is also falling with umbrella)
Or that once you shatter the glass closet, a lot of people risk falling out with you? (Ex lovers etc. – boys and girls)
Cool chicks and lame guys – are you lesbian or bi?
The lame guys trying to win her over to no avail
London
(Pink) Water fall
Cotton candy dress
Sitting alone on her stone unicorn searching for a Lover
Blue eyed unicorn lookin for love?
The lover in the foyer doesn’t even know you reference
Some guys lurking in the distance (Calvin, Tom, Joe + two more, is one Josh?)
Then comes her true love interest (Karlie, here in Brendon’s figure) and everyone else fade away
Your true love knows you well enough to really give you what you want and need, not just what «girls usually like»
Cats reference (or pussy)
Living in winter, I am your summer = I’ll keep you warm (passion never dies)
Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats = Boys and boys and girls and girls + New York. Remember how I told you about lesbians in New York while I was holding hands with Karlie people!?
The depth of my love (layers of hearts)
But we were dancing like we’re made of starlight (putting on a show, keeping up the facade)
Taylor with her band feeling safe
Surrounded by angels (Karlie’s in angel)
Celebrating the joy of dancing silly
Honoring the fans
60’s reference (Beatle mania, collaboration with Paul McCartney?)
Standing out in a crowd
Spelling it out for people
I in team (Taking one for the team, Karlie’s team being rubbish and not placing her first?)
Holding each other up and let them shine
Glitter (she’s obsessed, it must mean something)
Ripples on water in the rap scene
The two of us aren’t like the others (the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color)
Scene layout in front of the rainbow tower
Prisms (diamonds) in the rainbow
Disco meets country
Country boots = musical roots
Bi colors in the disco tunnel
Video game like (?)
Secret hand shake
Tapping the shoes
Day’s over but we’re still throwing rainbows
In the dead of night we’ve got this town to ourselves
We can be as obvious we want, nobody’s around to see it anyway
Lights from the city in the background
We made a mess, but it’s our mess
Melting away the wax figure of myself to reveal my true colors
The clouds (past) is still behind the open doors – to visit when we want, but we’ll never close that door ever again
Umbrella = shielding/protecting each other from the harsh reality
Bikes in the background with the cute little houses – thinking about a more rural life, Taylor?
Stepping out of the spotlight with the love of your life
Leaving behind a sea of pastels – a new wave of coming outs?
Heading back inside the glass closet? But together? (Telling us she’s been going in and out of it for a long time already?)
Hearts, obviously. Taylor: Did you count all of the 113 hearts in the music video (I didn’t)
Pink hair, blue hair (bi flag?)
All the musical theatre references – hint to her having a new song on the Cats soundtrack?
Keeping this for when Taylor start’s revealing more from the different tiers.
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“How should we tell them?”
Hey so I’m peeved about not being clever and coming up with anything good for my baby boy’s birthday (Tony if you live under a rock and didn’t know) but for the glorious occasion of June descending upon us I thought a good old fashioned gay fic is in order. First one I’m posting of stony ever so please be gentle. (Also I’m going to my first Pride this year so I have no idea how they work so I’m sorry) This is crack I finished this in like three hours (a sporadic three hours) and the end is super rushed and I’m sorry for this. I swear I have better stuff line up.
“How should we tell them?”
Steve stops smearing pink, purple, and blue face paint down his cheek. “What?”
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I think we should come clean and tell the team about, you know, us.”
Steve let’s his hand finish its trek down his face before wiping his hand on a rag. “What do you mean?”
“Like, they’re our friends, our family, so I think we should come clean.”
Steve pulls a dark blue muscle tee over his head, letting Tony continue to talk.
“And since it’s me and this is kind of a big deal I thought why not do something extravagant.”
Steve raised an eyebrow as he sat in front of Tony, bringing his little face paint pallet with him. He started on the rainbow across Tony’s cheek as he continues to ramble.
“Maybe go to Paris and send them a picture of us kissing at the top of the Eiffel Tower.”
“Tony.”
“Or we should get a cake a huge cake a three tier one, the top one would be frosted blue.”
“Tony.”
“The middle one would be rainbow and the bottom one would be blue. And I’m sure you get what I’m saying. It’d be hallowed out maybe, if we wanted to be really extra-”
“Tony.”
Steve swiped the last purple stripe across his cheek. He then leveled Tony with The Look.
“Hm?” Was Tony’s responded as he looked at his boyfriend, trying and failing to match his gaze.
“We could just tell them. You know, with our words.”
Tony’s mouth twisted. “You’re no fun.”
“Come on,” Steve said as he stood, running his hand through Tony’s hair, smearing it with purple and blue and green, “we’re going to be late.”
“Yeah yeah.” Tony stood and stretched and Steve couldn’t help but look him over appreciatively. Tony wore a white tank with “Love Wins” written in rainbow font across the front and booty jean shorts barley an inch below the perfect curves of his ass. Rainbow face paint was smeared horizontally across his left cheek, bi colors on his right. Tony looked over his shoulder and Steve tried to look elsewhere before Tony could say anything. But Tony noticed. Tony smiled as he swayed his hips. “You like what you see?”
Steve rolled his eyes. “Oh shush, you.”
Tony pulled Steve up and raked his eyes over Steve. He was wearing a dark blue muscle tank with his shield on it, the red white and blue pattern replaced with the bisexual flag colors, and cargo shorts. Tony wanted him to wear something a little...shorter, but Steve refused.
“Are you ready to go?” Steve asked as his hands settled on Tony’s hips.
“Yeah yeah let’s go.” Tony said as he pressed a gentle kiss on his lips before pulling away, walking toward the elevator, Steve in tow, headed for the garage.
---------------------------(Watch for the cut)----------------------------
Steve and tony’s relationship may be a secret but Tony Stark’s sexuality isn’t. Tony decided to tell the world after driving by a gathering of homophobic protesters, Tony breaking out his phone and leaning out the window screaming “I love sucking (insert profane genitalia)!”
It trended for a month.
Of course there was backlash but the avengers defended Tony tooth and nail, as did half the internet.
But when Tony asked Steve to pride Steve had no idea what to expect, he’s never even heard of it before.
“Oh it’s just a gathering of people celebrating who they are. Real fun time.” That was Tony’s explanation of it. A very understated truth Steve realized upon arriving. There were people and rainbows everywhere, people were smiling and laughing as Tony pulled Steve through the crowd.
Every so often Steve would hear whispers of ‘is that Tony Stark?!’ ‘dude that’s Captain America!’ Sometimes he would feel someone touch his bicep or tug his shirt, occasionally he’d hear a squeal after.
They’d walk through the parade, something swelling in his chest as he looked around him and took everything in.
It was going so smoothly that Tony half expected some alien to come along and destroy it. But no the only hiccup was Steve forgot what Tony told him on the way there, ‘don’t interact with the protesters.’
Steve had somehow slipped away from Tony when he noticed a protester in the corner with a poster with him on it. Steve moved through the crowd as he picked up on their conversation.
“-and what makes you think Steve Motherfuken Rogers is homophobic?”
“Dude was born and raised in the forties, he’s got values and he’s Captain America-!”
“Do you not watch press conferences?” A girl asks, “Did you not see him defend the ever living hell out of Tony Stark?”
“He probably does it because the man pays for everything and doesn’t wanna get cut off for speaking his mind. A damn shame if you ask me.”
“Yeah well nobody asked you-”
“I mean Stark is a pussy ass fairy like you all, dude shouldn’t even be an avenger.”
By this point Steve has managed to push his way through the crowd, stopping on the edge of the little circle surrounding the protestor. Steve towered over the teens in front of him, raising an eyebrow as he looked at the poster with his image on it. It was light blue with him standing at attention with the phrase ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA IS NOT OK WITH YOUR SIN’ in big block letters.
“I’m sorry what were you saying about Tony Stark?”
The man scanned Steve, his eyes falling to the symbol on his chest. Steve took a step closer and the man swallowed. He tried to gather himself. “You can’t be serious.”
Steve clenched his jaw and looked down at the man in question. “Take it down and leave these people alone.”
The man scoffed, “Or what?”
Steve moved to take a step forward with his fists clenched, “Do you want to find-”
“Woah there big guy.” Tony said as he grabbed Steve’s elbow, “let’s not get arrested.”
“How about you come back when you haven’t been corrupted by a fag like Tony Stark.”
“Who in the hell-!?”
“Steve don’t!” Tony pulled him back, Steve needing to remember his own strength.
Tony had managed to pull him away, promising the protester that there’d be lawsuits if he didn’t take down the poster (”you can’t do that!” “The image of Captain America is owned by the avengers, which is funded by Stark Industries, aka me.”) The group perviously surrounding the poster asked for pictures, which they gladly gave.
They continue on their way, the incident nearly forgotten about. At some point as they walk through the crowd that was the Pride Parade, they ended up walking along side of a float with people on it yelling various phrases and riling up the crowd. Apparently someone on the float recognized them.
“Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark!” Tony looked up, a smile quickly growing on his face.
“Yeah?!” He yells over the noise.
“Mr. Stark will you join us up on here, say a few words?” The crowd cheered in response.
“How could I say no?”
Tony, with the help of the people on the float, climbed up on the float, taking the microphone. It was hard to hear what he was saying as every other word was drowned out by cheers, something about pushing through and showing the world that it’s ok to be who you are, etc.
At the end of it Tony had coached down and grabbed Steve’s bicep and started to pull on it. “-and,” he said as Steve climbed up, “I just want you to know,” he looped his arm with Steve’s, that the avengers are on your side. Be Proud and stay Proud!” He finished as he turned to Steve, wrapping his arms around his neck and dipping them both as he kissed Steve. Steve was quick to respond, settling his hands on Tony’s hips.
Best Pride ever.
------------------------------------------------
Steve and Tony stepped out of the elevator the next morning late for breakfast. Last night they discussed how they would tell the team about their relationship, Steve’s method winning out. Everyone was gathered around the table, about a dozen different conversations going on at once. Steve cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. They all quieted down, looking over at the two.
“Tony and I have something we need to tell you all.” They exchange a glance before they look back at the group, everyone looking at them expectantly.
“Tony and I...” Steve grabs Tony’s hand, “are in a relationship. Romantically.”
Everyone looked at them, then at each other. “Yeah we know.” Was Natasha’s response.
“What how?” Tony asked.
Clint, who’d gone back to looking at his phone, grabbed a remote and flicked on the tv without looking up from his screen. He flipped it to a random news channel and the first thing that appeared was a picture of the two kissing on top of a pride parade float. Clint flipped to another channel, the same picture was situated behind a panel of people talking. Clint repeated this process several times and finished with “It was all over the internet yesterday, all over the news this morning.”
Natasha looked over her shoulder, “Bruce you owe me money!”
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. He should’ve gone with the cake.
Hi yea I know it’s rushed I have way better stuff lined up this was just that gay thing I wanted to put out for June so here it is. (Sorry for this rushed thing I don’t know why this happened)
#stony#stony fics#stevetony#steve x tony#steve/tony#pride#first pride#Steve rogers first pride#crack#stony crack#this isn't that great but thats fine#protective steve rogers#homophobia#super rushed
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Witchy note before beginning New Moon Ritual:
Snow brings so much to me
I love and appreciate what it symbolizes to me as well
Rebirth- growth, refreshed. Restart. Build over. Covering footsteps of the past. Leaving no trace or clear boundary of where earth and water begin. Reflection, light bearing, soft, beautiful but also dangerous if not respected. (Not very different from Lava now that I think about it!)
Being able to gaze upon it, especially while reflecting with friends from the heart over the phone, has been such a healing experience.
I think seeing beauty in front of me helped me process the beauty in everything and the beauty that was happening now and around me- with our conversation and time together, and even helped me see the beauty in me- which I will say is rare for me to be aware of, that self reflection and self love. (Have I ever realized over the past few days, how life is definitely a team sport! At least for most of us- I imagine the only people that don’t, live a solo life- in the woods/mountains- in a cabin chopping wood, etc.)
I feel Nature could be the best medicine for any ailing mind, body, spirit, even soul. Or someone experiencing all of the above.
Just wish I could remember its with me everywhere, and able to be carried anywhere- my hands, feet, eyes, ears, etc.
Best way to help me fight those unwanted animalistic behaviors humans biologically have on the daily, yo.
Fight those unwanted animalistic behaviors I feel don’t help me be the best that I am. Nature, help remind me that I am human, and human only. Full of imagination, power of creation, light and love, but also mistakes and unrealized behaviors. We must walk in self-love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and humor.
Hope/Wonder probably wouldn’t hurt either. ;)
Alright! New Moon Ritual Time!
Sat. ~2:30PM
Notes for New Moon Seeds taken earlier in the week:
It’s a New Moon today
And it’s starting to snow for the next 4 days
Pretty magical and awesome
What seeds do I want to plant for this next moon cycle?
Goals/Interests:
��Start research/first steps towards becoming educated in Social Justice, Human Rights, and how to properly be an activist.
— First steps towards being an activist, sign up for Social Justice and Human Rights and Civil Rights (taking the next steps following the above)
— Research Viking/Nordic/pagan similiar gender fluid terms/genders
— Start a Patreon Draft-write out draft/business plan/purpose/schedule; post weekly versus bi-weekly, mental health, social justice, art process, personal facts, personal art, the development and maintanence of the artist artistically, spiritually, physically and mentally-etc- nail it down to x amount of topics, etc., goodies, etc.
— Practice walking in Self-Love every day. Build Ego strength, confidence, emotional IQ and awareness. Take note of what self image/identity/ptsd flags are
— Rituals- draft pm and reasses am
— Reading book list
— Create create create, draw draw draw
— Wolf Paw Pins!!!
— Organize (and maybe prioritize?) big goals- patreon, comic, tarot deck, store merch-schedule timing of releases(if do able), twitch/discord, super hero personaetc.
Animals popping up-
Hearing humminbird
Raccoon stories
Coyote stories
Bear stories
Have been really digging listening to podcasts made by WOC - “Thanks For Your Concern” and “The Self- Love Fix” podcast to name a few
Been really enjoying the work rituals that have fallen into place- naturally happened. Maybe feel that out with home as well?
I’ve been heavily enjoying journaling during my break, and listening to motivating self love podcast.
Gives me a sense of calm. Peace. Closeness to self, or at least closer before approaching an unpredictable day. (A fear I am working more on facing- unpredictability. A moment of calm/self time/moment/quiet/no distractions/focus/freshness before doing anything, especially outside, helps a lot in this area.)
This cycle’s crystal pack: Business, Motivation, Self-Love, Creativity, Human/Civil/Social-Justice/Rights, Identity
Fluorite: Business, motivation, creativity, self-work
Jade: Business, justice,
Lodestone: business, motivation, spirituality (find your path),
Malachite: Business, self work, transformation
Tiger’s Eye: creativity, success (business), self-work,
Tourmaline: business, self-work, transformation, self-love
Amethyst: Justice, self-work, creativity
Carnelian: Justice, creativity, self—work,
Rose Quartz: Justice, self-love
Tarot Reading: (2 cards fell out, as soon as I started to ask- and got paranoid they were not the cards. I looked at them anyway, just in case. Guess what. I shuffled, cleared the mind, shuffled, cut the deck and pulled the bottom of the deck- rare for me to do for the moon ritual. ALL THAT IS HOLY. The cards were the same xD Hilarious. Thank goodness my deck and the universe is so kind, especially with my suspicions and paranoia. XD)
Ace of Wands: Good Judgement needed more than ever, don’t rush into it. Thrilling to embark on new journey- growth all around, ideas and outlook expand, creativity seems endless. Fertile time- Expansion and Inspiration
The Sun (Also in last Full Moon’s reading): Spend some extra time outside today, be grateful for the radiance of the sun and the life force it gives all creatures. Soaking in warm rays- nourishing, healing, all aches and pains fade away. Sun brings amazing energy into life, Vitality and health abound-feel assurance and clarity in all doings- Vitality, enlightenment.
As a story/together: interesting- there is something big in the center for both of these cards. The Ace of Wands- the center is a radiating blooming wand- (Ume? Shinya and I were talking about? Blooming before spring?) Surrounded by a white light/glowing, and radiating yellow to orange to red, outward. Beautiful. The sun card is bordered with doves flying in each corner direction, away from the center, two up and two down, NE, SE, SW, NW- the center, red hot black sun. Radiating from the darkness, rods, strands, energies, beams, fractals of light, energy, saturation, color and burst-forth ness, but smoothly, from the center of eternity and forever- it seems. Vitality. Goes from black, to red, to orange, to yellow, to green at the birds, and blue beyond that. Radiating further outward when coming from the depths. Ace of wands powerful, beautiful, radiant, but the Sun is vibrant- beaming from a deeper darker place, but shining and bringing forth oh so much light and warmth. Ooooo.. tell-tale of self reflection, love and how it will help me fight for justice?
Rune Reading:
Fehu (again interestingly) - Wealth, especially-
“livestock, especially cattle. Latin made the same associations—our word “pecuniary” comes from the Latin pecus, a cow—demonstrating that for the early Indo-Europeans, wealth was not only transferable, but could move under its own power. Like the Celts, the early Germanic peoples were a cattle culture. Dairy products were a staple of the diet. The most valued beasts were kept through the winter in one end of the communal longhouse. The animals which could not be fed until spring were sacrificed to honor the gods and feed the people. One way or another, wealth was counted in cows.
Wealth to be guarded, not hoarded- “Nor should it lull one into a false sense of security. Welcome though it may be, it must be taken as a gift of the gods. Neither the fruits of the earth nor the love of others can ever be owned (the last verse implies a special warning not to treat women as property!). They are loaned to us only, to be used productively and shared with others. True riches are the wealth the soul gains from a life well-lived.”
“Meanings ascribed to this rune by modern commentators range from the mystical to the practical. Willis believes that the kind of wealth represented by cattle is that which grows when cared for, which can produce more money when wisely invested, but that the rune sometimes means the need to conserve resources. Thorsson, on the other hand, sees in the rune motion and expansion of power, mobility, luck, and fertility.
FEHU is always a rune of productivity, though the context may vary. Spiritual or artistic creativity, physical fertility, or the ability to create or to maintain wealth can be indicated, or it may signify an improvement in one's finances or health.
FEHU is one of the runes used to invoke passion, productivity, and prosperity in a couple being married. (And gardening growth/nourishment!)
Advice Card Reading: (The Four Agreements)
Be Ware of Unconcious Assumptions
Become a White Witch (with my word as well- the biggest!)
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