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ladykailitha · 2 days ago

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The Au Pair Boy Part 9

Hey guys! Only one chapter of this one this week, I promise. But it's the chapter. The best chapter.

Eddie comes home! And Steve gets help in the kitchen.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8

Eddie insisted on having a cook come in and make dinner three times a week. That included Steve’s day off, so he would be cooking for most of their meals but that he would have help on those three days.

Steve disregarded professional chefs right off the bat. Eddie didn’t need to pay some big named star to make mediocre food for the girls. And would have stuck to that if the best candidate wasn’t a French Culinary school graduate with having owned two Michelin star restaurants.

His name was Benny Hammond and he was retired. He just wanted something fun to do in his spare time. Steve talked about what the girls liked, what recipes he had and when Eddie would be home.

“I haven’t cooked for kids in ages,” he said with a grin. “That sounds like a fun challenge. Count me in!”

Just after one week with Benny making all the meals, Eddie cackled an ‘I told you so!’ on his evening call with the girls.

“I didn’t realize how much energy all the cooking was taking until I had a day without doing it,” Steve whined.

“He made us grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup,” Joan said brightly. “It was nummy, Daddy.”

“And the soup didn’t even come in a can!” Janice crowed. “Not even the tomatoes.”

“It was better than how I make it,” Steve grumbled into Joan’s hair.

But Eddie caught it anyway. “Sounds like someone was right. So what do we say, Stevie?”

Steve wanted to pout but that would set a really bad example for the girls so he straightened up and sighed. “Thank you Eddie. Benny was the final piece of the puzzle we all needed to for a well run household.”

“Good!” Eddie said brightly. “I have some news. It’s bad news for the band, but good news for everyone else.”

Both girls perked up and started talking over each other as they tried to guess what it was.

“Joanie! Janie!” Eddie barked from the tablet Steve was holding. “If you’ll let me talk, I’ll be able to tell you.” Once both girls had settled, Eddie cleared his throat. “Thanks to a major hurricane, the last two shows have been combined into one big fundraiser for the towns devastated by the storm.”

“I heard about that on the news,” Steve said with a nod. “I’m sorry the tour has to wrap up early, though. I know you were really looking forward to playing in Ashville.”

“It is what it is,” Eddie said resigned. “But all proceeds will go to disaster relief so some good will come out of it.”

“Well, that’s good,” Steve murmured. “I’ve got to get these little munchkin to their bath, but I guess we’ll see you on Saturday.”

“So you will,” Eddie replied warmly. “Good night, girlies!”

“Night, Daddy!” Janice and Joan chorused. Then they clambered off Steve’s lap and tore off for their bedroom.

Steve turned off the app and laid the tablet down with a sigh. It was a good thing that Eddie was coming home. He just felt conflicted about how soon it was now. He thought he would have more to get his emotions under control.

Janice and Joan wanted to dress up really nice for their dad so Steve helped them pick out their outfits.

Janice had completely surprised Steve when she pulled out a pretty plaid skirt and a white blouse. She was such a tomboy most of the time, that he wasn’t even aware she had skirts and dresses in her closet.

Joan wore a matching plaid jumper dress with a similar style in blouse. They even had matching black Mary Jane shoes.

Steve had never seen them look more like twins in the whole time he had known them. They even asked him for matching French braid pigtails.

Janice and Joan sat in front of the window, anxiously waiting for the Uber that would be dropping their dad off so they could see him in person for the first time in months. Steve had originally tried to distract them from the ever present ticking clock, but gave up about an hour in.

They were just too keyed up.

Then an unknown silver SUV pulled up to the house and out Eddie popped. The girls started screaming and jumping up and down.

“Girls go get your signs!” Steve said brightly and they ran off to grab the signs they had made yesterday.

The door opened to a very bedraggled Eddie and the second he saw his girls with matching outfits and cute little signs saying Welcome Home, he dropped to his knees. He threw open his arms and both girls dogpiled him.

There were tears flowing down all three of their faces. Eddie picked them both up and walked toward the sofa, then he carefully lowered himself onto its surface.

Steve just smiled and walked away.

He made his way to the kitchen where Benny was slaving away at marvelous homecoming meal. Steve leaned up against the doorway and watched as the large chef chopped away at some vegetables. His skill was always fun to watch.

“I thought I told you that you weren’t allowed in the kitchen when I work,” Benny said without turning around.

Steve huffed out a breathy laugh. “I’m following your rule, you grumpy old man. I’m not in the kitchen.”

Benny turned around and sniffed. “Close enough.” He looked up at the clock. “Shouldn’t the master of the house be home by now.” He waved to a bar stool for Steve to take a seat.

“He’s here,” Steve said, sitting down. “But I don’t know him well enough to know if he’s the kind of man that likes crying in front of other adults. Especially ones he doesn’t know well.”

Benny stopped for a moment and then nodded, going back to his chopping. “That’s fair. You’re like me, when things get too emotional, we come to kitchen to work out those emotions.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, nodding back. “I love having you here. It makes taking care of the girls so much easier...”

“But sometimes you wish that you can just come into the kitchen and make something?” Benny finished. “Next time you feel that way, let me know and I’ll teach you a technique or a new recipe, all right?”

“Thanks, Benny.”

After a few minutes of contented silence Benny spoke, “You should probably go check on them and makes sure they’re alive enough to eat my dinner.”

Steve laughed, slapping a hand the counter and getting up. “You got it.”

He wandered back to the front room but no one was there. Steve frowned and went to Eddie’s office, but they weren’t there either. He put his hands on his hips and pursed his lips. Where could they have gone?

He tapped his lips thoughtfully and the darted up the stairs, taking them at two at a time. He reached the top in no time at all and sure enough he could hear giggling. With a sigh of relief he walked to the girls’ room and pushed open the partially closed door.

Joan had decorated Eddie’s hair with ribbons while Janice read “Opposites” to him in a very serious tone.

Steve couldn’t hold back the bark of laughter when he saw the absolutely besotted expression on Eddie’s face.

Eddie looked up in shock and then when he saw who it was, he grinned. “Do I look pretty?”

“The prettiest,” Steve confirmed, moving further into the room. “Benny sent me in search of everyone because dinner is almost ready.”

Eddie’s face really lit up. “Ooh. He asked me what my favorite dish was and is making it for me. I’m really excited to see what a Michelin chef can do with poor people food.”

The girls both made faces and Steve gave them a look. “Remember when you went to Maria’s birthday party and the cake was carrot and you didn’t like it?”

Both girls nodded and Eddie looked suddenly interested in the new lesson they learned. “What’s this?” he asked gleefully.

“When it’s someone else’s day,” Joan said, “they can have whatever they want for their party.” She scuffed her shoe on the carpet. “So since it’s Daddy’s homecoming day, he can have whatever he wants.”

Eddie cackled in satisfaction. “Yes, girls that is a very important lesson to learn. It’s hardly my fault you inherited your Papa’s palate. I like it and so we are going to have it for dinner.”

“I’ve seen it,” Steve said, barely concealing a smile. “It looks fantastic. I can’t wait to try it.” He bent down to the girls’ level. “Remember the three bite rule. You take three regular sized bites and if you don’t like it, you can have something else.”

Joan nodded solemnly but Janice’s face as twisted up in distaste. Steve just shook his head. “Go wash your hands, girls and then join us at the dinner table.”

Both girls were off with a flash and Steve held out his hand to help Eddie to his feet. Once on his feet Eddie flashed him a broad smile that really showed off those dimples. He looked...cute.

Just then the door to the girls’ bathroom burst open and Steve dropped Eddie’s hand. Not quick or harsh. Just a simple act of letting go.

“I’ll race you to the table!” Eddie crowed, ducking around Steve.

Both girls squealed in delight and they were off like a shot, tearing down the stairs like a herd of elephants being told that it was peanut time.

Steve followed more slowly behind just soaking up how happy the girls were that their dad was home at last. The trip had clearly done Eddie good. He had color in his cheeks and his shoulders were no longer up around his ears, like dog expecting to be hit. Time away from the girls really helped him out.

“Come sit by me!” Joan cried when he entered the dinning room. She patted the spot between her and across from Eddie.

Eddie lit up at that and grinned at Steve. “Looks like you’re stuck with us now, Stevie boy! Once Joanie’s got her hooks in ya, you can’t leave.”

Steve smiled and shook his head fondly. “That would imply that I would want to leave in the first place.” He bopped Joan’s nose and she giggled. “And that would never happen ever!”

Just then Benny came in hold a large casserole dish. It had tatter tots covered with cheese and it just smelled heavenly. Benny set it on the table and began serving them. Inside was fresh peas and carrots and shredded beef in a mushroom sauce, gently seasoned with herbs and spices. Steve couldn’t wait to dig in.

Eddie was served first and he bit into that first bite. The moan of pleasure that escaped his lips, caused Steve’s eyes to roll back and flutter shut as he tried to think of very gross things to keep his embarrassing erection to a minimum.

“Benny!” Eddie cried. “This is amazing! You really out did yourself.” He grabbed the spoon from the dish and brandished it at Steve and the twins. “Mine! All for me!”

Steve laughed and then took a bite of his own and his eyes snapped up. “Sorry girls, but it appears I’m going to have duel your dad for the rest of this casserole.”

“Betrayed!” Eddie said, clutching the spoon to him. Suddenly he got a wicked gleam in his eye and he licked the spoon.

“Ewww...” Janice crowed.

“Gross!” Joan agreed.

Steve just shook his head and turned back to his meal. He wasn’t going to do something in front of the girls, because it would be the wrong lesson to teach, but he was highly tempted to grab the spoon and lick another stripe right next to Eddie’s. But for now he would bide his time.

The two girls managed to eat about half before declaring they wanted something else. So Benny took them into the kitchen to fix them something they would eat.

Steve leaned over and whispered, “Jokes on you, I’m a nanny, a little spit won’t deter me from what I want.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide and he shoved his hair in front of his face to hide his blush as Steve helped himself to another spoonful of the casserole.

Steve ate in smug silence as Eddie took a moment to come back online. He cleared his throat a couple of times but didn’t dare speak.

Once Steve had eaten his fill, he picked up the girls’ dishes and piled them on his plate. He stood up but before turning away to take the dishes into the kitchen, he said softly. “I’m glad you’re home too.”

Eddie looked up at him in awe and nodded. “It’s good to be home, Stevie. It’s so good to be home.”

Steve smiled and walked away.

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @tartarusknight @gregre369

2- @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi

3- @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch

4- @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @ollieolive @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1

5- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

6- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

7- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

8- @sadisticaltarts @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dolphincliffs @steddie-as-they-go @steddieislife

9- @kultiras @morallyundefined @themoonagainstmers @fearieshadow @blondie1006

10- @thesecondfate @wheneverfeasible @depressed-freak13 @genderless-spoon @yesdangerpls

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #nanny au #nanny steve harrington #rockstar eddie munson

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allronix · 16 minutes ago

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In any other universe, I say "This side conscripts children and trains them with deadly weapons. They forbid these children from ever seeing or hearing from their families once recruited in infancy because the organization is their family now. And to defend the government they serve, they allowed themselves to become the overseers and commanders of an army of slave soldiers to suppress internal dissent," we would look at that and think these were the guys we were trying to fight against.

So weirdly, we have the Jedi set up to be these ultimate heroes and good guys, yet they are just soaked in the tropes and trappings that would mark them as the bad side in any other piece of work depicting a dystopia.

The whole Jedi recruiting is Dystopia 101. You want to establish that this is a bad place to live? Establish that the people in charge recruit kids and take them away from their parents. Even as recently as the HP Fantastic Beasts films, Newt's introduction to America's Wizarding World being a dystopian system was when Tin and Queenie pointed out that American mage children born to "No-Maj" (muggles) were taken from their birth families and their muggle relatives and friends mind raped into forgetting them. (One wonders if the Jedi would use this and bullshit some reason about sparing those left behind the pain of loss...). You also get the Babylon Five Psi Corps or the Dragon Age mage towers. Hell, even in Disney canon, one of the things that establishes the First Order as grade A dirtbags is Finn telling his new comrades that he was recruited as an infant.

So...um...why in the HELL are we supposed to see this Jedi practice as happy, fluffy, adoption?! Or at the very least not be suspicious about the whole "Oh, but this is all willing! It is a great honor for the family to sacrifice their child!" without a 55-gallon drum of suspicion? In real life, children were recruited from peasant families (or those from disfavored populations) to serve as concubines (if female), soldiers (if male), servant/slave labor, or human sacrifice. It was a way for the elites to tell these disfavored populations that they could do whatever the hell they wanted, especially destroy any future or hope for the future. And the only thing these disfavored people could console themselves with is the elite's excuse that having their child "chosen" in this way was an honor.

Another dystopia trope is the whole Word of Lucas that Jedi can have casual sexual relations but not emotional attachment. Well, that was a common thing in sci-fi dystopias. Logan's Run with the glasshouses where people hooked up with strangers and watched each other get it on. Brave New World with the Orgy Porgy. That sort of thing. And it was a thing in real life for people conscripted to military or religious service to not be able to marry but they were fine with...er...more transactional forms of sex. The elite of the Catholic church are what gave us the courtesan, prostitutes trained to be elite and educated companions to the Papal court. Buddhist monks of Edo Japan having ritualized pederasty with the acolytes. Both regulated brothels, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't just because they were doing the health inspections. We know sex work, sex slavery, and that sort of thing is all over the GFFA and given a wide tolerance. We also know that Jedi do espionage type missions and that honey pot espionage is never going away. We also have the sticky bit that Force Sensitivity has a strong (though not guaranteed) genetic component. So there may be a few unpleasant reasons for this dystopian edict as well. Only made more salient by the nasty misogynistic treatment if a female/carrying Jedi gets pregnant.

The last dystopia trope is the removal from the natural world. Much emphasis is put on the natural aspects of the "good" guys versus the cold tech of the "evil" guys. Or if we have a world where everyone lives in cyberpunk hellscape, only the rich and powerful get to see an actual tree. Okay, the alleged "good" guys are sitting in the middle of a cyberpunk hellscape world (see above for the horrible poverty). And like the rich elite, they have actual real trees in a place where mot citizens will never touch real soil! At least with Legends, you got Jedi enclaves and outposts in really nice locations surrounded by nature and life; Tython, Dantooine, Ossus. Tenoo if you want to throw a Disney example in there.

The average muggle citizen of Star Wars lives in horrible poverty. To the point where a one-room apartment in a slum building on the SURFACE of Coruscant is considered luxury. Many more live in subsistence farming like medieval peasants. Others under the thumb of corporate rule because companies like Czerka own entire planets.

Granted, it's better than various incarnations of the Empire because it's not just open slavery led by ax-crazy theocratic whack-jobs too busy backstabbing and power jockeying to get anything done but warfare. But...well...being better than Sith is textbook faint praise.

Dystopian themes in the Prequels

“Looking back is helpful in understanding his work. Lucas started out in the 1960’s as an experimental filmmaker heavily influenced by the avant-garde films of the San Francisco art scene. Initially interested in painting, he became an editor and visualist who made abstract tone poems. His first feature, THX 1138 (1971) was an experimental science fiction film that presented a surreal, underground world where a dictatorial state controls a docile population using drugs. Love and sex are outlawed, procreation is controlled through machines, and human beings shuffle meaninglessly around the system.”

—Anthony Parisi, 'Revisiting the Star Wars Prequels'

The bolded parts in this description correspond with the Coruscant Underworld, the Jedi Order’s code, and the creation of the clone troopers, respectively.

Notably, in THX 1138's setting, emotions such as love and the concept of family are taboo:

I’ve always found it so interesting that Lucas incorporated the dystopian elements of his earlier sci-fi into the Prequels, taking place as they do in the context of the final years of the Repubic, with all its colourful and sumptuous visual spendour. In comparison, the post-apocalyptic ‘Dark Times’ of the Original Trilogy would seem on the surface to be the more outwardly ‘dystopian’ setting of the two—however, the actual story of the OT is a mythic hero's journey and fairytale, complete with an uplifting and transcendent happy ending. The OT's setting may be drained of colour, and its characters may be living under the shadow of the Empire, but as a story it is far from bleak or dystopian in tone. Rather, fascinatingly, it is the pre-apocalyptic era of the Prequels that is presented as the more dystopian storyline:

“On the surface, [The Phantom Menace] is an optimistic, colorful fantasy of a couple of swashbuckling samurai rescuing a child Queen and meeting a gifted slave boy who can help save the galaxy from the slimy Trade Federation and its Sith leaders. But beneath that cheerful facade is a sweatshop of horrors.” —Michael O'Connor, 'Moral Ambiguity: Beyond Good and Evil in the Prequels'

This is referring to the state of the galaxy during the Prequels era, including the fact that slavery is known to exist, but is largely ignored by the Republic and the Jedi alike due to being too economically inconvenient to combat. It also refers to how the Jedi of the Old Order come across as cold and distant atop their ivory tower on the artificial world of Coruscant, far removed not only from the natural world but also from the true realities of the people they claim to serve. And then there is the additional revelation in Attack of the Clones that love and family are 'outlawed' within the Jedi Order, creating an environment in which their own 'Chosen One' is unable to flourish, leaving him vulnerable to the Dark Side. Finally, there's the fact that the characters end up so distracted by fighting a civil war (something that goes against their own principles and involves the use of a slave clone army in the process), that they are blinded to the entity of pure evil that is guiding their every move...until it is too late.

“Without a clear enemy, the Jedi Order, the Galactic Senate, the whole of the Star Wars galaxy bickers and backstabs and slides around the moral scales. But there is one benefit to Palpatine’s pure evil crashing down upon the galaxy; against its oppressive darkness, only the purest light can shine through.” —Michael O'Connor, 'Moral Ambiguity: Beyond Good and Evil in the Prequels'

If anything, the Dark Times allows for the OT generation's acts of courage and heroism to flourish and succeed, because they are not hampered by the Old Jedi Order's restrictive rules, nor by its servitude to the whims of an increasingly corrupt Republic—so corrupt, in fact, that by the time of RotS, it is practically the Empire in all but name. Indeed, one of the key features of the Prequels, and what makes them so tragic, is that the characters are already living in a dystopia...they just don't know it.

There is, paradoxically, a level of freedom to be found in the midst of the Dark Times which had not been possible during the Twilight era, which allows Original Trio to rise above the tragedy that befell their predecessors. They are able to act as free agents (not as slaves of a corrupt government), serving only the fight for the liberation of all the peoples of the galaxy (not just citizens of the Republic), and are likewise free to live (and love!) on their own terms. Free to act on their positive attachments to one another, without having to hide the truth of their feelings. It's particularly telling that *this* is, above all, what makes the Prequels era so dystopian—the characters' inability to freely and openly participate in normal familial human relationships.

#the prequels #star wars #fandom meta #jedi critical

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squidling2005 · 3 days ago

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been seeing a lot of people talking about how weird jax was in the recent tadc episode, and i wanted to share my thoughts about it

to me, this whole episode was about masking, both in a literal sense and an emotional sense, and what happens when people can't mask anymore. it was mostly focused on gangle, and how she's trying to keep herself together and happy despite not feeling that way, but i also think this theme spread to the other characters as well.

there are a handful of characters that i think mask, or hide themselves more than the others. starting off with zooble, who hides in their room because they don't feel comfortable with themself, being forced to interact with the others and do the adventure.

then, ragatha, who tries so hard to make others like her and saying what she thinks they want to hear, ends up drugged or drunk or whatever which takes away her filter and causes her to say what she really thinks.

finally, jax, who i think values control, which is almost impossible to get in a place where your whole life is controlled by someone else. so he acts a certain way and he does what he can to get whatever amount of control that he can over a situation to prove that the digital circus doesn't have full power over him. sometimes i think he acts like a jerk as a way to control what others hate about him, instead of them hating him for things he can't control. some form of coping mechanism or smth, but i don't think we know enough about jax to say that for sure. he might just be a jerk for the fun of it.

but he loses that control in this episode. gangle, the one person he has the most power over out of the group, now has power over him and when he pushed back against that, she sent him to the training room where he was physically restrained and forced to watch the training video. that's why i think he was so off this episode. because his way of coping with being stuck in the circus wasn't working and there was nothing he could do about it

but hey, that's just a theory

#tadc jax #tadc zooble #tadc ragatha #tadc gangle #the amazing digital circus zooble #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus jax #the amazing digital circus gangle #jax #gangle #ragatha #the amazing digital circus ragatha

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hannamoon143 · 1 day ago

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Die with a Smile

Nobody‘s promised tomorrow

So imma love you every night like it‘s the last night

Cause i wanna hold you just for a while, and die with a smile

༘⋆ ❅ ･:*:｡ ❆

Words: 5,2k

Genre: angst, fluff, comfort(…?), christmas

Hyunjin x fem. Reader

Warnings: Cancer!!!! So sickness, food, crying, sickingly sweet fluff, fears, , all i want for christmas by mariah carey (yes that needs a warning),death,non-sexual nudity (they r just bathing), cinnamon (sorry but- warning needed),

A/n: hi! I had so much fun writing this, and it‘s also for the StayblrHolidayEvent . I hope yall enjoy this also since it‘s my first christmas fic. Also as u can see it’s a bit inspired from die with a smile (bruno mars & lady gaga). Basically It’s just those lines i wrote over there kinda inspired me how to write the emotions and thoughts and stuff. So now, take ur hot chocolate, a fuzzy blanket and read! Merry christmas and happy holidays to yall🎄💕✨

You were laying down next to hyunjin, watching the other guys in front of you, while he was sketching most probably them or the decorated livingroom, or just the whole scene in front of him. Felix, Chan and Minho had come over, and now they were laughing as they decorated your tree, the rest of the livingroom, and singing christmas songs. The christmas joy had definitely taken over them, also if you couldn‘t really feel anything of it.„Don‘t you wanna get up and help them?“ Hyunjin mumbled quietly to you, not looking up from his sketch. He did that so often lately. He sketched simple scenes or things he saw, shutting almost everything else out. As if he wanted to remember everything to the smallest detail. „No, i‘m good here with you.“ You responded, laying your head on his shoulder. He sighed quietly, and kept drawing in silence for a while, the only noise was the guys bantering and christmas songs playing in the background. Then he spoke up again, quietly. „Y/nnie, you don‘t have to always sit around me and baby me alright? Don‘t think i don‘t know why you are doing this, and don‘t think i didn‘t hear you crying in the bathroom. I‘m well aware of the situation, but why can‘t we just make the best out of it? I feel like all this is getting to you more than to me, when it‘s literally me who is going to die.“ You froze at his words.

Last christmas, hyunjin had been diagnosed with cancer, and the worst was it was a type that could never be healed. They had told you that he had about one more year to live. That time you broke down entirely, and already there it was you who seemed to be more affected than him. But over a bit time you started acting normal again, not constantly being around him and doing everything for him. But now the year was coming to an end, and christmas was standing on the frontdoor. With that everything came back. You suddenly were all over him, not once leaving his side, and everytime he wanted to get up or something you pressed him down and did whatever he wanted to do for him.

The worst was you could feel it. Somewhere inside you had always hoped that the doctors were just wrong and hyunjin wouldn’t die in the next sixty years. But you saw that they were right. The way he slowly began to always eat a bit less than before, the way the circles under his eyes got darker, and his cheekbones more visible. You hated it. You didn’t hate him of course, you could never, but you hated this stupid cancer and what it was doing to your hyunjin. It was taking him painfully slow out of this world. With him getting worse you were too. You wanted to be strong for him, and for him to have the happiest last christmas ever but you couldn’t help it, the weight of the fact that soon he wouldn’t be there anymore was dragging you down too much, when you knew that it only hurt him more to see you like this, altough you always tried to hide it.

So there you were now. You stiffened and took your head off his shoulder, to look him in the eye. „Don‘t say it like that hyun-“

„No, i will in fact say it like that, cause i‘m not gonna lie to any of us for longer.I know that i‘m going to die, and you know it too okay? So why can‘t we enjoy the time left, and just do everything like we used to, instead of you constantly acting like i‘m some kind of fragile doll that could break at any moment? You acting like a overprotective mom isn‘t gonna change a single thing, as much as it hurts to hear that. Think about it y/n. Because i don‘t want to sit on this couch or in my bed the rest of my life. I‘m not doing this y/n.“ His voice was thick with emotion, and he had kicked his sketchbook away. He stood up, in fact needing a bit time to get up, and to lean onto the wall, but he went into your room, shutting the door. You stared at the closed door, with an empty hollow gaze. The other guys now excused themself and left. But before he left, chan said to you with a guilty smile: „Not everything he said is true, but you should think about some parts. Bye y/nnie.“

Now you were left alone in the silence. Hyunjin’s sketchbook was laying open on the floor, and the pages were a bit scaped now. He was going to be mad at himself for that later. You picked it up, wanting to close it, but then you saw his sketch from today. It wasn’t the scene in front of him, it was you, looking a bit sad. Under the drawing he wrote

My sad girl, 2024

When is she gonna be my happy girl again?

A tear ran down your cheek. He was always very empathetic and he hated when you felt down. Why hadn‘t you thought of the fact that you being like this only weighed him more down?

You cuddled up under the blanket that was still warm from hyunjin, tears slowly falling down. You knew he was right. Of course he wanted to enjoy his life, as long as he was still able to. Because no matter what you were going to do, it wasn‘t gonna change anything anyways, so why not enjoy instead of being sad and regretful when he was still with you, still breathing, still being able to smile at you?

After a while you could finally get yourself to go to him again. You braced yourself and got up, knocking on the door of your shared room. He just faintly sniffled. You opened the door slowly, seeing him huddled up under a blanket. He was crying, and it broke your heart. Hyunjin was a sensitive guy, and he hated arguing with loved ones more than anything, so you should have known that this would get to him, also if he was acting careless and tough. You kept being quiet, just sitting down on your side of the bed. You started stroking his hair, at wich he only started crying more. After a while of being like this in silence, the only sounds his quiet crying and the air cnditioner in the background, he lowered the blanket and looked at you with red eyes. „I don‘t want to die either y/n. I just… i‘m trying to be strong cause you are hurting so much,and i‘m so sorry for leaving you alone my love-“ His voice broke, and more tears spilled over onto his red cheeks. You opened your arms for him, and he didn‘t hesitate. He immediately moved a bit so his head was laying on your chest now. Quickly you wrapped your arms around him, kissing his head, while a few tears trailed down your cheeks too. Of course you knew. „I know, i know hyunnie. But you don‘t need to be strong all the time. I can‘t cure the cancer, but we are in this together. You can tell me how you feel, and i will give you space when you need it, but be by your side whenever you want it too. And i also promise to not act like a overprotective mom anymore.“ He chuckled a bit through his tears at that, wich made you do so too. „See, everything‘s okay. You are not alone, and as long as we can spend time together, i’ll be with you, trying to make your time left the best you ever had. How about tomorrow we make a christmas day? Like we go to the christmas market, bake gingerbread in the afternoon and sing christmas songs, all while we have ugly christmas sweaters on?“ you both started laughing, the tears finally stopping. He nodded,his face squished against your hoodie now, and his breathing was evening out. Maybe you really shouldn‘t take everything that serious. Because now it wasn‘t that point where you would have to say goodbye. You had no idea how much, but you had some time left to spend together, and you would try to make the best out of it. You would love him till the very end, and even after that, you‘d still do so. And as long as he was next to you would also tell him that, and make sure that when he had to go, he would do so in peace. So you closed your eyes, and in this little moment, everything that mattered was hyunjin, entirely squished against you, and you, holding him, as long as you could. The stars could have looked down at you two that night, and altough hyunjin was sick, and paths of the tears that you both cried earlier still lingered on your cheeks, they would have seen you two shine brighter than ever, the light not leaving, as long as you were together.

Prove reading done* until there ^

The next morning you woke up, a white comforter draped over you, and you almost had a heart attack when hyunjin was nowhere near. But then you saw him, walking in with a big grin, and one of the matching ugly christmas sweaters you had bought together sometime on.You started laughing, still half asleep and in a groggy voice. „You look…. Interesting.“ hyunjin laughed and threw something at you. It was your christmas sweater. You sighed, and you did your best to put a serious face on. His smile dropped. „Oh no- no- don‘t say you changed your mind.“ You broke out in a laugh and jumped up, putting the sweater over your pajama shirt. „God you are going to make me die even sooner with the heart attacks you give me.“ Hyunjin dramatically exhaled, gripping his chest. You just rolled your eyes at that. You were glad he was his usual dramatic self, the weight in the room that you both somehow created the past weeks, seemingly gone, replaced by a lighthearted joyful mood.

So you dressed the rest of yourself, grabbed your things and left the apartment with hyunjin. He had insisted to eat waffles at his favorite coz cafe around the corner, and not have one of your healthy breakfasts at home. You had given in, so now you were walking there, both wrapped up in coats, and fuzzy scarfs. It was cold outside, and the wind blew. There were faint smells of gingerbread and cinnamon in the air, telling you it was really getting christmas now. Well christmas was already tomorrow so how could it be different? You went into the cafe and hyunjin picked a spot at the window. On the pastell green walls there were everywhere pretty pictures, and the chairs were all different, each one looking vintage and really comfy. You ordered two waffles and two hot chocolates. As you sat there in the cozy fluffy chair, you looked at him. He looked the same as yesterday, and the days before but something was different. It wasn‘t the pink shade on his nose from the cold, or neither the Christmas sweater. No, it was that his eyes sparkled. They sparkled like they didn‘t in a long time. Maybe he was right? Maybe this was what he needed, not your experimental healthy food (that didn’t even taste good, eugh) and constant sitting around at home. Hyunjin shook you out of your thoughts. „Why are you staring?“

You shook your head with a little smile. „You‘re pretty today.“

He just laughed, assuming you were joking because of the sweater.

Your waffles and hot chocolate were served and hyunjin got excited like a kid, and immediately started munching them. You giggled, and secretly took a picture with your phone. Then you started eating too. The waffles tasted like christmas and happiness. You had never eaten such good waffles before. Maybe it was also just the feeling to sit here and eat them with hyunjin, entirely lighthearted and happy for the first time in weeks. As you were highly concentrated on your food, hyunjin suddenly spoke up. „I love you, you know that? And i always will, even when you can‘t see me anymore. But don‘t worry, i‘ll look at you getting older, achieving your dreams, and doing everything you want to, because i know you’ll do so well, even without me. And i‘ll protect you, from wherever i will be going. You‘ll always be my muse y/n.“ He sounded sincere, not sarcastic like when he was being dramatic, though he kept on eating his waffles, like he didn‘t just say something that almost made you cry and want to hold him for the rest of your life. You looked at him, tears building up a bit behind your eyes. „Hyunnie… I love you too, and always will. I don‘t know if i ever can fully move on though,… because i will always think of you when i look at the moon shining bright on the dark night sky, or when i look at the town around christmastime, everything tinted in a soft glow and everything smelling like gingerbread.“ You said, but you weren‘t as desperate and almost seeming like you would break down at any moment, like it was just a few days ago when he started talking about his death. No, you were calm, and a little, sad smile played on your lips. He was done with his waffles now, and leaned over the table to cup your cheek in his warm hand. „It‘s okay y/nnie. Grieving i a natural and healthy part of when someone you love is dying. And it‘s okay to cry, scream or vent to someone. But please don‘t do all that alone hm? I talked to the boys a few days ago, and they have all grown so close to you too over the years, they will support you, and you can grieve together. Know that you are not alone y/n, never. And i‘ll always be somewhere in there.“ He pointed at where your heart was. „And you are the strongest, bravest woman i know, so i know that you will be able to somewhat move on someday. Oh but i have one little request. Please never forget me, no matter what you choose to do in the future. I like the idea of you being reminded of me when looking at the moon or while the christmas season. I hope you are being reminded of me in a good way though, and not like a haunting nightmare way.“ He chuckled at the last part a bit. And you smiled too.

„I would never forget you love, and don’t worry about it, you‘ll always be my dream, never my nightmare.“

„Oh but one more thing. Don’t be afraid of me dying, while i’m still here. Everything is gonna be okay.“ He smiled. You both looked into each other‘s eyes for a moment there, and it felt like nothing else was existing right now. No other people, no sadness, and no cancer. Just hyunjin‘s mesmerizing dark eyes looking into yours.

You two were walking out the cafe, hand in hand, now going to the little christmas market hyunjin adored since you took him there for the first time. Since then he didn‘t spend a singly christmas season without going there.

Your breaths were coming out in little white clouds, and you put your head on hyunjin‘s shoulder. He took his hand out of yours,and instead lovingly wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close, and pressing a kiss to your head. You loved when he did that. If only you could stop time now, and walk in the joyful town forever with your boyfriend.

But soon you heard happy children‘s laughter, and smelled cinammon. No doubt that there was the christmas market. Hyunjin started smiling like crazy. He loved the fact that he got to see this for the last time with you. No, he wouldn’t be sad that it was the last time today, and regret things. No, he would just be so, so glad to spend this day here, forgetting the cancer that usually weighed him down, for a while. It seemed like a gift that he got this day, being with his favorite person in probably his favorite place.

Soon enough he saw a stand, with cute handmade christmas decorations. He immediately went over there, and made a adorable noise.

„Looooook y/n, it‘s a ferret with a scarf, and it looks like my scarf! We need to adopt him and hang him on our tree. I feel our bond, so no arguing on this one.“ He said dead serious. You laughed, looking at the ferret. You almost forgot how excited hyunjin always got at the christmas market, and how you had to convince him to not buy literally everything he saw. But you nodded on this one, the little deco really looking a bit like hyunjin right now, with his cute red nose and the adorable smile on his face. He went to the man who was selling it, and even gave him more money than the ferret costed. The guy happily wished him merry christmas and waved. Hyunjin just loved to make people happy, and why not do that especially now? He took your hand in his again, walking by the other stands, the shimmer of the fairylights hanging on all the stands mirroring the one in his eyes. As you were slowly walking, you, literally trying to convince hyunjin to not buy a gigantic wolf statue from the eighteenth century for chan(He was so silly, he had to gift everyone the most random things for christmas with the simple explanation: I saw that and thought of you), you suddenly felt something cold on your face. Hyunjin seemed to feel it too, because he looked up and immediately his whole face lit up even more if that was possible. „Omg Y/n it‘s snowing! This is just a perfect day, even the weather with it‘s beautiful snow is on our side.“ He talked, not really paying attention to what he was saying, just mesmerized by the white crystals.

Sometimes you took a bit time, just to admire the way he got excited over little things, in a way you would usually see it only with kids. Those moments, when joy was literally radiating from him you felt so much love and admiration for him that you could combust. You just wanted to snap a hundred pictures with that adorable smile and the shine in his eyes, and keep them forever in your heart. You brushed his hair out of his face, and your hand lingered on his cheek for a bit longer. „You‘re right hyun, this is the perfect day.“ You whispered. He just continued smiling, then lowered down to kiss you. You didn‘t feel the cold snow on your skin anymore, only your boyfriends soft lips, that tasted like cinammon and warmness, pressed to yours. As you pulled away, your foreheads were resting against each other, and you felt his warm breath on your face. „Let‘s go home now, then we can bake gingerbread and show mini Jinnie his new home.“ you giggled at his words, and nodded, your eyes not leaving his.

You walked through your apartment door, both of you giggling like lovesick fools. You took your shoes and coat off, but suddenly your feet got sweeped off the floor, and you were being carried by hyunjin. „Yah, stop it!! The doctor said no heavy lifting!“ You slapped his arm in an attempt to make him let you down but you couldn‘t even hold in your own laugh. He shook his head and dramatically said: „If not now, then when should i carry you bridal style, my lady?“ You playfully slapped his arm again and threw your head back in laughter. He just fondly smiled, lowering his head down to kiss you on the cheek, and then he carried you into the kitchen. The other guys seemed to also have decorated the kitchen because beautiful fairy lights were hung over the stoves, and some more decoration, including a mistletoe, was placed perfect. When hyunjin stopped under the mistletoe you started shaking your head. „No jinnie don‘t. Please, that‘s so cheesy,don‘t do it.“ You whined, knowing exactly he would in fact do it.He grinned and asked „May i?“ He didn‘t wait for an answer, he just softly laid his lips on yours, the kiss so tender like always. Both of you closed your eyes, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. After a while you slowly pulled away, and he murmured a soft „love you my muse“. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, smiling. „Love you too hyunnie“ your words were muffled against his sweater, but he didn‘t mind. He wouldn‘t want to be anywhere else in the world right now.

You went into the kitchen, and hyunjin let you down. You started preparing everything for gingerbread, and soon christmas songs were filling the air. With the fairy lights on, everything was tinted in a soft, cozy glow.

As you were just done with the dough and had placed it to rest somewhere ‘all i want for christmas‘ started playing. „Oh my favorite christmas song.“ He chimed, preparing a spoon as a microphone. You looked at him in shock. „Sorry what?? Don‘t tell me we are together for literally six years, and i had no idea that your favorite christmas song is all i want for christmas. How can you have these muscles, and act all flirty but suddenly be like a lovesick teeny girl?“

A endearing pout played on his lips. „It‘s a classical, don‘t judge me!“ You sighed but started giggling. As the refrain of the song came, hyunjin threw his hair back (Nuh uh seriously, who was this diva?) and he began to loudly sing into the spoon. You laughed, but couldn‘t resist him. You grabbed a spoon toom, and put it up to your mouth, singing along with him. He then wrapped his one arm around your waist, and with the other one he held his ‘microphone‘ , singing „All i want for christmasss is youuuuu“ And then pointing at you. You started dancing around together too. In a little clumsy pirouette move, where you would never think this man was a professional dancer, Hyunjin accidentally threw a bag of flour off the stove. In only a few seconds you both and the whole floor were coated in a thick layer of flour. For a moment you were both flabbergasted, but soon you bursted out laughing, and hyunjin just kept singing like it was nothing. This whole moment felt so heartwarming and silly, you just knew this was one of those moments you would still think of in twenty years. Hyunjin ended his little concert with one more time singing the refrain line and then he picked you up and swirled you around, the flour flying around in the air. You squealed, not expecting it, wich only made him chuckle. As he let you down again, he pulled you close again, pressing a kiss to your forehead, not caring that now flour was on his lips.„I love you so much.“

You giggled, wrapping your arms around him, so now you were both wrapped up tightly in each others embrace, not caring about the fact that you were just distributing the flour even more.

„You said that so often today.“

„Yes because i never ever want you to forget it, alright love?“ he held you jut a bit tighter, and you felt his nose nuzzling against your neck.

„alright.“

„Good. Let‘s just stay like this for a little while longer? You look cute in flour.“

„As long as you want to.“ you smiled softly and laid your head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

After a while the flour got a bit itchy though, you both had to admit. So you went into your room, getting some clothes for you and hyunjin, while he went into the bathroom to run a bath. You took your matching christmas pajamas, the fluffy one with gingerbread men on it. As you came into the bathroom, hyunjin was turning on the water, putting some of your favorite cinammon-bath salt in it. He had also lit some candles, and turned off the big light, so the whole bathroom was tinted in golden light. You both undressed, and you stepped into the tub first, sitting down at the end of it. Hyunjin waited and raised a brow. „Don‘t you want me to sit behind you like usual? You always like when i massage your scalp, or your tense shoulders“ You gently smiled up to him. „Today i‘m gonna do all that for you. It was so wonderful to just forget everything today, and with the christmas market and the snow, everything was just perfect. But you‘re still my sick baby. So sit down, today it‘s me who is gonna massage your scalp.“ Hyunjin‘s eyes filled with tears, and a fond smile crept up to his lips. He got into the bathtub too, sitting down between your legs, like you usually did with him. You soon gently started to run your fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes, cherishing the feeling. After a while you felt his muscles completely relax, and his breathing get slow and steady, almost like his body was melting into yours. You held him tight, one hand still in his hair, and from time to time you kissed his shoulder, like he always did to you.

After a while when you almost thought he had fallen asleep he murmured: „The water‘s getting cold.“

You hummed. „Let‘s get out, and get you to sleep jinnie.“

„But the gingerbread.“ He mumbled, but his eyes were already closed. You smiled and he whined as you got up and out of the tub. „We can still make the little gingerbread men, and ferrets and whatever you want, tomorrow.“ You took a fluffy towel, and wrapped it around yourself. Then you got another one, and tried dragging hyunjin out of the water.

„But then it‘s already christmas day. That‘s against the rules my lady.“ You chuckled at his sleepy confused mumbling. „We are making our own rules.“ You took the towel and slowy dried him off. Then you softly pushed him down to sit on the bathtub edge and put him on his pajamas. „You are taking care of me so well love… Never gonna stop loving you, i‘ll protect my muse at all costs, even when i‘m not physically with you anymore.“ He mumbled, so incoherent and sleep drunken you almost didn‘t understand it. „I know jinnie, i know. Now let‘s get you to bed, hm?“ He whined, and after you quickly put on your own pajamas too, you helped him get up and you both went to bed. As he laid down, you pulled the comforter up to his chin, lovingly stroking his hair. Then you got into bed too, closing your eyes. When you were already at the edge of sleep you suddenly heard hyunjin speak up again. „Y/n?“

„Hmm?“ „Please say it back“

„What are you talking bout.“

„That you love me. I‘m so tired already, but somehow i feel like i won‘t fall asleep if you don‘t say it.“

If you would have thought about that, maybe you could have somewhere already thought that it was coming. Hyunjin‘s pure soul was bracing itself for something, as if he knew.

„I love you. Forever and ever.“

And then you both drifted off.

When you woke up, you didn‘t immediately open your eyes. But you knew. You felt it. You could never describe this feeling, or how you would know, but you had no doubt your hyunjin was somewhere else now. Somewhere far away. And when you finally did open your eyes you took a second to breathe in. You slowly sat up and braced yourself. Then you looked to your side. There he was, looking like he was sleeping peacefully. You didn‘t know if you were imagining that or if it was real but it seemed like even a small smile was laying on his lips. You were oddly calm, as you stood up, and walked around to hyunjin‘s side.

You crouched down next to the bed, and with a slight tremble you took his hand in yours. It was still a bit warm. You pressed a kiss to it, as a silent tear rolled down your cheek. „Hey hyunnie. I don‘t know if you can hear me, but i just want to tell you that i love you okay? Don‘t forget that. And i hope you weren‘t in pain when it happened. Just know that you can peacefully go wherever you are supposed to go now. It‘s okay for me. I will continue living, also if the pain of your absence will daily remind me of the fact that you aren‘t with me anymore. But that‘s okay. I thought that this pain is the worst, but it makes me remember you, and that‘s what i want to do for the rest of my life, so actually i will be okay with it. That day yesterday was really a perfect day, as you said. I guess somehow our souls knew that soon they would have to say goodbye to each other. It helped me realize that when you die i won‘t have to act all strong, and feel like suffocating when i‘m alone. Oh by the way, i‘ll call the guys soon, and tell them. Then i‘ll bake our gingerbreadmen okay? And i‘ll be taking good care of mini jinnie, so you don‘t have to worry about him and his little scarf.“ You smiled through the tears running down your cheeks, that were silently landing on the bed next to hyunjin.

„So hyunnie, i bet you are wating for me to finish my dramatic boring speech so you can finally go in peace, hm? I wish you merry christmas my one and only love.“ You kissed his hand tenderly for the last time, a single little tear dripping down onto it.

Taglist: @0omillo0 @lina-linny @darqlys

@onementally-unstabel-kid @idek6758 @sadie-tucker @kozumesphone

@urlocalmultigroupfan @thoughtfularbiternightmare @lezleeferguson-120

@stayblrofficial hello this is my submission for the stayblrholiday event! For some reason I can’t send y’all the link but yeah I hope tagging is okay too!<3

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ailendolin · 1 day ago

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Rewatching Moist and Magical for the first time and omg, I forgot how much I love this play.

Luke's Sandra means everything to me.

Her shock when Maureen pulls off her hat and the whole hair bit

"Had I known. Had I known!"

Handling that heckler in character. "When I'm talking to my friend, fucking shut up!" Luke at his best

basically translating her whole vision just to make sure AJ gets it

pointing out that Loch Lomond is a real loch (there's even a song about it which I love and have now stuck in my head again)

"MAUREEN!" *said in increasingly dramatic ways*

"Got who? Who?" Luke is honestly such a great actor. Same goes for the bit in the beginning where he's grieving the third sister. Grieving!Luke is one of my favourites because he plays it so well

"Go forth, my boy! The first male witch!" YAY!

AJ's Maureen is just great in general.

randomly breaking into song when Sandra tastes the cake

"They say the moister it is-" "-the more you see." This sounds so wrong

the whole confusion over the loch bit of Sandra's vision

"Just passing the loch after locking up the shop." I feel like this should be on a t-shirt

Telling Jasper to run home instead of letting him help her always makes emotional. Same with Sandra telling Jasper to hide. They care so much for that boy

Sam's Jasper is naughty and owns my heart.

the accent!

"Ah ken. That's Scottish for 'I know'." And the middle fingers!

"I want to be a boy witch." And we're rooting for you, Jasper

"He looked a little bit like Henry Cavill if he had a wasting disease."

The Witchfinder General being an app to find local witches in the area - ngl that would be a great app

"Little boy, come hide with me." Sam breaking character as he reacts to it is so funny. "Absolutely not! No way! I've never seen more red flags in my fucking life. You're actually holding a fucking red flag!"

"I rather suggest you invite me in." Jasper, grinning, "No."

The last supper bit is so clever. Well done, Sam

"KAME! HAME! FOR SCOTLAND! HA!" This is the perfect ending

Tom's Witchfinder General is so intense.

"That's how I rollllllll"

"I work for the thrill of it. The thhhhhhhhrill."

That whole bit about having memorised the index and Sam throwing him under the bus with, "Please read it to me."

"Aberdeen is large." "Nope." "Aberdeen is medium-sized." "Nope."

"Witches, they're just hearsooth and foretell." Wtf, Tom?

"I've gone." XD

the way he just appears behind AJ in the background and moves from curtain to curtain is genuinely creepy (until he starts to make it funny. Then it's hilarious)

the fucking nipple clamps thing. Wtf was even that?

In short, I love this play, I love the witches and I'm glad Jasper gets to be the first male witch and defeats the Witchfinder General.

#moist and magical #shoot from the hip #sfth

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 2 days ago

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Dangancember 2024 - Danganronpa Top 24 Class Trials - Number 5: Danganronpa V3 Case 1 {BEST CASE FROM DRV3}

//Me running from the angry mob who think this case is fucking overrated:

//Okay, okay, I already knew going into this, looking at my top 10, that this is probably the second or third most divisive placement on this list, because the feelings that people have for this trial are generally mixed, and all of it rides on one particular aspect of it, that carries the whole thing.

//But that's not a problem becase we already have a set precedent for that on this list, and yeah, I will not deny it. This trial is only up here because of one massive bias that I have towards it, and if you know me by now, then you already know what it is.

//But I have lots of other reasons as to why I absolutely love this Class Trial, mainly because even if it's not as good a mystery as 2-1 or A2-1, this is the best opening case for me because of how it kicks V3 off with an emotional bang.

//This isn't like the first trial of Another 2 where I think it's generally not a good sign that my favourite case in that game was the first one. This one has a legitimate reason for being up here because of how, even to this day, it sets itself apart from every other Danganronpa trial that we've covered so far, not just among the openings.

//And trust me, it was SO GODDAMN DIFFICULT trying to decide which I liked more between V3-1 and V3-4, because they're both AMAZING. But the thing that ultimately decided it is that I actually have come back to this case a few times over the course of my time as a DR fan. While I only sparingly go back to Chapter 4 of this game, because it's already had its impact on me.

//If you thought the opening cases in previous games were wild, V3 comes out swinging (literally) with a mystery that doesn’t just set the stage but completely flips the script on what you expect from a Danganronpa trial.

//It’s not just about solving the murder; it’s about the emotional gut-punch, the clever twists, and the bold storytelling choices that make you question everything you thought you knew about the series.

So let’s dive into what makes this case such a standout moment in the franchise.

//The first victim in Danganronpa V3 is Rantaro Amami, a man of mystery whose Ultimate Talent remains unknown during the first chapter. His untimely demise occurs in the library, where he’s tragically bludgeoned on the head with a heavy shotput ball.

//I know there are other aspects of the trial that stand out to people more, but I actually want to kick this review off by saying that Rantaro’s death is not just shocking but downright brilliant.

//It's one of the best character fakeouts in the series, and the only time I think Kodaka does it better in any of his mystery games is the prologue case of Rain Code (If you know, you know.) It's executed so well that it leaves you doing a mental double take.

//At first glance, Rantaro seems poised to become this game’s equivalent of Nagito. i.e. a morally ambiguous outcast with potentially twisted ideals.

//His enigmatic vibe and cryptic behavior practically scream "plot relevance." Honestly, he even gives off shades of Yuri from SDRA2, with that same aura of someone you’d expect to stir the pot in bizarre and unsettling ways.

//To emphasize this further, all the other Ultimate ???'s have been integral to their games. Kyoko was the deutragonist and leading lady of DR1, and Hajime was the protagonist of DR2. And in the first chapter of DR1, Kyoko is mostly unnasuming, and you don't know what her relevance to the plot is until the trial actually happens; since most of the screentime of Chapter 1 is taken up by Makoto's relationship with Sayaka.

//But before we even get to unravel his deal, he’s unceremoniously removed from the board. It's as if the game chuckled to itself and shouted "SIKE!"

//This clever bait-and-switch caught me completely off guard. I was ready for Rantaro to take center stage as the group's wildcard, only for the game to pull the rug out from under me.

//Instead, the role of chaotic, antagonistic schemer eventually falls to Kokichi, who turned out to be another fantastic choice, though his brand of chaos is a touch different.

//I'd really like to see a potential fanfic rewrite where Rantaro survives, and serves as the rival character to the main protagonist. Because most V3 rewrites are one's that have Kaede survive the first chapter, but Rantaro still dies, and he hardly gets any screentime, if any. And that's a shame, because I'd like to see what people do with his character.

//Please read all these fanfics by the way, they're so good.

//And sure, you could argue the setup feels a bit reminiscent of Danganronpa 2, where the first victim is also a character cloaked in mystery, and then later, his real talent is revealed to be something monumental to the plot of the game. But hey, if it ain’t broke, why fix it? It’s a bold way to kick things off and keep players guessing, and it sets the stage for the rollercoaster ride of twists that V3 is known for.

//But...okay, let's not delay ourselves any longer. All ya'll motherfuckers know the precise reason why it is that I love this trial.

//When it comes to the first trial of Danganronpa V3, the victim is certainly a shocking element, but let’s not kid ourselves...there’s one reason why this trial is etched into the annals of the series’ history as one of its most mind-blowing moments.

//And that reason is…The culprit.

//So, who killed Rantaro Amami? Who's the mastermind behind this library bludgeoning?

//You are!

//Okay, to be more specific, the person who turns out to be Rantaro's SUPPOSED murderer is Kaede Akamatsu, the Ultimate Pianist, who starts V3 by serving as the player character.

//Yep! The character you’ve been controlling this whole time is the murderer. And that alone is one of the best plot twists in the entire series, already rivalling the final plot twists of Danganronpa 2.

//And if that doesn't set a precedent for this game, I don't know what could have.

//To elaborate, the game opens with you playing as Kaede, a talented and determined pianist with a big heart, a hopeful spirit, and a knack for rallying her classmates. Everything about her screams "main protagonist," from her bright demeanor to her prominent placement in marketing materials.

//But as this trial unfolds, the game pulls the ultimate fast one.

//At first, the trial plays out like classic Danganronpa fare: you gather evidence, debate your classmates, and cross names off the suspect list. The usual, right? But as the suspects dwindle and the pressure mounts, it becomes clear that solving this case won’t come easy.

//The group edges closer to despair as they struggle to pinpoint the killer. This is where Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective, the game's current deutragonist, becomes the prime suspect for much of the trial.

//After some prompting, Shuichi, putting his sleuthing skills to good use, proposes a theory that flips the entire case, and the game, on its head. The real killer isn’t anyone standing on the sidelines. It’s Kaede herself. The cheerful, hopeful pianist you’ve been guiding through this madness turns out to be the one who orchestrated Rantaro’s death.

//Let’s pause to appreciate just how wild this twist is. Up until this point, Kaede was framed as the central figure of Danganronpa V3. You’ve bonded with her, rooted for her, and poured hours into her perspective. And now, she’s sentenced to death.

//The "main character" doesn’t even survive past the first chapter! It’s a daring, genre-defying move that caught players completely off guard.

//To make this twist land, the game’s developers went all out. They weren’t just pulling a fast one on Kaede; they were pulling one on us. Here’s just some of the things they pulled off this grand deception:

On the game’s official Steam page, the promotional images heavily feature Kaede as the protagonist. Shuichi, on the other hand, is LITERALLY a background character.

Kaede is front and center in nearly all official artwork; at least those that dropped at the time of release. Shuichi’s presence is muted, making it seem like she’s the undisputed lead.

V3 is the only one of the Danganronpa games that had a fully released demo. In the game’s demo, Kaede is marketed as the hero, reinforcing the idea that this is her story. Makoto and Hajime, both of whom make reappearances for the demo, specifically refer to her as a "fellow protagonist."

The developers warned fans repeatedly on social media to avoid spoilers, knowing this twist was too good to ruin.

To cement the illusion, they even slapped the "Female Protagonist" tag on the game’s store page.

//This level of misdirection is nothing short of genius. It’s one of the most ambitious twists the series has ever pulled off, and it solidifies this trial as a standout moment in Danganronpa history. Clever, daring, and a little cruel, it’s the kind of narrative gut punch that keeps fans talking years later.

//Also, as a side note, while I was doing this analysis and getting screenshots from YouTube to use as part of it, I found this comment, and I never actually thought about it this way, and it's so goddamn funny for some reason:

//It definitely keeps ME talking years later, since these days, Kaede is quite possibly my favourite character in the entire series.

//And yes, I'm sorry, this is turning into a rant about why I absolutely love Kaede, but it is very relevant to the plot of this trial, since this is her one and done. So I want to establish what she was able to achieve within her time.

//Kaede is a delightful bundle of joy, determination, and just the right amount of chaos, and even though she is the protagonist initially, she sets herself apart from the previous series hitters; Makoto, Hajime, and Komaru.

//She’s a hardworking leader type with a strong will, unshakable beliefs in herself and others, and a heart set on making people smile. especially through her music. But while her Ultimate Pianist title highlights her talent, it’s Kaede’s personality and quirks that truly make her shine.

//For starters, Kaede’s kindness and selflessness often lead her to put others first, sometimes to a fault. She’s so trusting that in the game’s demo, she outright fakes an alibi for Makoto based solely on gut instinct, even though she has no rational reason to believe he’s innocent. She does this for Shuichi as well, but obviously, as far as she's aware, SHE'S the culprit, so she knows that if Shuichi is voted for, she gets executed.

//She’ll lie if it’s for a good cause, but at the same time, she’s hilariously bad at it, squirming uncomfortably every time.

//Like previous protagonists, she’s sensitive to others’ struggles and listens earnestly to their concerns. But Kaede takes it a step further: she actively pushes people to improve, even if that means bluntly pointing out their flaws.

//It's easy to go through all of V3 without seeing her FTE's, because she's obviously only around for this chapter, and has two per character. And unless you reset the game multiple times, you won't get to see them all.

//Which is a shame that you have to go through so much effort to see them because they're all packed with moments of encouragement that show her as an unshakable force of positivity. Unsurprisingly, most of her classmates quickly grow to like her.

//That said, Kaede isn’t without her...problems...In fact she has quite a few.

//Her obsession with piano borders on comical; she works musical metaphors into everyday conversations and avoids any activity that might harm her precious fingers. Her Free Time Events with Tsumugi even lead to a minor existential crisis when she realizes her entire identity revolves around piano, prompting her to desperately search for new hobbies.

//Which is not true, because personally, I think she's among the deeper characters in V3, but it's still funny.

//Kaede also has a goofy, impulsive side that often makes her unintentionally funny, or awkward or awkward depending on the situation. For example, she has absolutely ZERO sense of restraint

//In K1-B0’s Free Time Events, she casually asks questions about his robotic nature in ways that come off as insensitive. She’s the type to poke buttons (literally in Keebo's case, where she pushes his emergency shutdown) or cheeks without permission, giving her a playful, almost childlike quality.

//But then there’s her tendency to blurt out comments that can sound…questionable. She enthusiastically calls Tenko cute, describes Tsumugi’s "sexy aura," and even threatens to lift Tsumugi’s skirt to get her to talk, prompting Shuichi to point out that she’s acting like a creepy old man.

//Her layered personality doesn’t end there. While she’s a genuinely kind and brave person, Kaede also has a fiery temper and a knack for standing her ground. She’s quick to lash out when provoked, whether it’s snapping at Shuichi for panicking, telling Himiko to shut up during an investigation, or calling out Kokichi for his attention-seeking antics.

//Yet, these moments of frustration come from a place of passion, as Kaede firmly believes in justice and doing what’s right. She’s not afraid to call out any behavior she deems unacceptable, earning her a reputation as a bossy but well-meaning figure.

//However, Kaede’s determination to do the right thing is both her greatest strength and her biggest flaw. She’s relentless in pursuing her vision of justice, even when it’s misguided or downright dangerous. In this chapter, she rallies the group to escape using one of Monokuma’s obvious traps, earning everyone's pointed criticism, specifically from Maki and Kokichi. Her pushy attitude sometimes rubs others the wrong way, but Kaede genuinely doesn’t realize how her actions affect those around her until it’s pointed out. When her good intentions go awry, it leads to moments of genuine regret.

//Of course, Kaede’s defining moment comes in the trial, where her unwavering sense of justice drives her to extremes. To save her classmates, she attempts to murder the Mastermind, a decision that ends in disaster when her plan misfires and Rantaro becomes the unintended victim.

//And despite the inclusion of the First-Blood Perk, which allows whoever commits the crime to escape the school without the need for a Class Trial, she refuses to take the chance, because she wants to use the trial to out the Mastermind.

//This twist not only redefines Kaede’s role but also highlights her complexity. She isn’t just a good person in the traditional sense. Her belief in her own righteousness blinds her to the consequences of her actions, making her a beautifully flawed and deeply human character.

//Now...before I go onto what I actually liked about the trial itself, and how, while the Kaede twist carries it, it's still supported by a bunch of really neat moments, mysteries, and pacing, I want to go over one massive concern that we haven't really established with this case, and give my opinion on it. Because this is something that we've kind of already gone over, but I want to talk about it in more detail here, because this is where the point becomes relevant.

//During the trial, the evidence begins to point toward the fact that Rantaro was killed by a heavy shotput ball dropped from the vent above the library’s bookcases, which is how Kaede set up the trap. Initially, suspicions are scattered among several characters, with Shuichi himself being a prime suspect for much of the trial.

//However, in a dramatic reversal, Shuichi pieces together that Kaede’s actions prior to the murder align with the placement of the murder weapon. He theorizes that Kaede had hidden the shotput ball inside the air vent with the intention of setting a trap for the Mastermind. This trap involved the ball rolling out of the vent and hitting whoever triggered the motion-detecting cameras set up in the library. Tragically, Rantaro happened to be the one caught in the crossfire.

//Or so we thought...

//In truth, Tsumugi Shirogane, who is secretly the mastermind of the killing game, altered the events of the murder after Kaede set her trap. Kaede’s plan to kill the Mastermind failed, and the shotput ball actually MISSED Rantaro. He was instead killed directly by Tsumugi, who procured her own ball and smashed him over the head with it.

//Using her authority over Monokuma and the game, Tsumugi manipulated the evidence to make it look like Kaede’s trap had succeeded. Ensuring that Kaede would take the fall for the crime, not only eliminating a strong-willed leader who might disrupt the killing game early on, but also, due to Monokuma's threat of killing everybody if nobody died within a certain time limit, to ensure her own survival.

//The group unknowingly plays into her hands, convicting Kaede as the blackened based on incomplete and fabricated evidence. And it's quite possibly the only substantially evil thing Tsumugi does in the whole game.

//Now...this element of the game is controversial, both for me, and for the audience, for several reasons.

//My big issue is that it's an unfair manipulation of the rules of the killing game, which usually relies on airtight logic and player-driven deductions. Knowing that the evidence was tampered with by Tsumugi retroactively feels like a betrayal of the game’s premise of uncovering the truth.

//And yeah, this isn't the first time the Mastermind does this. Junko does this in Game 1, in fact. And it's highly unrealistic for you to believe that the Masterminds would ever willfully play by the rules, but my problem is that it really undermines them from being the powerful villains that they play themselves as in the final Chapter. It's why I believe AI Junko in the second game is the best Mastermind of the lot, since she's the only one who doesn't royally fuck up at one point (barring Mikado and Akane T.)

//The bigger issue for people in general, however, is that some fans feel that the framing diminishes Kaede’s role in the twist. Instead of her actions directly leading to the crime, her plan is sabotaged and used against her by an outside force. This makes her appear less culpable, which can feel like a cop-out for such a high-stakes moment.

//One could argue that if Kaede had actually succeeded in killing Rantaro, the twist would have been more impactful. It would’ve forced players to grapple with the moral complexity of Kaede’s actions, as she would’ve knowingly crossed a line to protect her friends. By shifting the blame to Tsumugi’s interference, the narrative somewhat softens the weight of Kaede’s decision.

//And I do agree with all of these notions, and understand where people are coming from. HOWEVER, despite these criticisms, Kaede’s framing still works within the context of the story and doesn’t take away from the emotional impact of her being the Chapter 1 culprit.

//What you have to remember is it isn't simply that Tsumugi committed her own crime individual of Kaede. Kaede started the murder plan, and Tsumugi finished it.

//It still means that Kaede isn't the killer, and shouldn't have been executed for it, but it doesn't change the fact that she still TRIED to kill somebody.

//It doesn't take away from the complexities and flaws of Kaede as a person in this game. The Despair she felt, and the corner she was driven into, still mattered, and she still acted on it in the worst way possible. Had the shotput ball hit Rantaro and not missed by pure coincidence, she would still have been the culprit.

//Even though she was framed for the actual murder, Kaede’s actions remain central to the story. Her plan to kill the mastermind reflects her unyielding determination to save her classmates, even at the cost of her own morality. Whether her trap succeeded or not, Kaede willingly put herself in a position where she would’ve been responsible for taking a life. This is the heart of the twist, and it’s not about whether she succeeded, but about her willingness to go that far.

//The framing doesn’t change the fact that Kaede is executed believing she is responsible for Rantaro’s death. Her guilt and despair as she tries to encourage Shuichi to carry on in her place still land with full emotional force, and the player shares her devastation, and her death leaves a lasting impact on the narrative. This doesn't change with Chapter 6's revelations.

//And on top of that, Tsumugi’s interference is consistent with her role as the mastermind and a villain who thrives on deception. The killing game has always been about manipulation, both of the participants and the audience. By framing Kaede, she ensures that the game starts with a shocking betrayal of expectations, cementing her as a calculating and ruthless antagonist.

//Only to fumble the ball much later, but this is more of a knock on Trial 6 than Trial 1.

//And that's mainly the big reason why I think this trial is great as an opening. It allows several characters to shine early.

//Kaede’s bold leadership, Rantaro’s mysterious potential, and glimpses of complexity in Kokichi’s manipulations and Kaito’s steadfastness all take center stage.

//But beyond Kaede, the real breakout star here is Shuichi, whose journey from hesitant sidekick to true protagonist begins in earnest during this chapter.

//At first glance, unlike Kaede, Shuichi feels eerily familiar to Makoto and Hajime, or previous protagonists. He’s polite, serious, and perpetually anxious, sporting a hat he refuses to take off because he’s self-conscious about making eye contact. He blushes, breaks into cold sweats, and often assumes everyone else is more capable than he is.

//In short, he doesn’t exactly exude confidence or charisma, and that’s exactly why his growth feels so satisfying. V3 may have ups and downs in terms of its characterization and plot development, but if there's one thing that I can say for certain, it's that Shuichi's character writing, throughout ALL of this game, is FLAWLESS!

//Despite his meekness, Shuichi shows surprising flashes of initiative early on. He’s the first to suggest they set a trap for the mastermind, proving he’s not as passive as he seems. He’s also quick to stand up for himself when pushed too far, such as his angry outburst at Miu accusing him of being a pervert.

//Kaede’s role in shaping Shuichi cannot be overstated. As the initial protagonist, she radiates optimism, courage, and determination. Her plan to stop the mastermind, though it fails, demonstrates her willingness to take risks for the group’s sake.

//When the truth of the trial forces Shuichi to accuse her, the weight of that responsibility crushes him, but Kaede’s faith in him remains unwavering.

//Kaede’s final words, encouraging Shuichi to believe in himself, become the foundation for his transformation. Her trust in him, paired with Kaito’s relentless support afterwards, helps Shuichi shed his self-doubt (and his hat) and step into the spotlight as the protagonist. From here on, Shuichi is determined not to look away from the truth, no matter how painful, a promise he makes in honor of Kaede’s memory.

//Trial by trial, Shuichi grows more confident and assertive. By the time the finale rolls around, Shuichi has fully stepped into his role, calling out the mastermind and rallying his fellow survivors with unshakable resolve. His passionate outrage upon revealing Kaede’s unjust execution shows just how far he’s come, not only as a detective but as someone who refuses to let lies define their lives.

//What makes Shuichi such a compelling protagonist is how different he is from Kaede. Where Kaede is bold and charismatic, Shuichi is quiet and thoughtful. He lacks her boundless optimism but compensates with razor-sharp intellect and a deep sense of responsibility.

//His understated heroism makes his victories feel earned rather than inevitable, and his struggles resonate with anyone who’s ever doubted themselves.

//In the end, Shuichi becomes the protagonist that Team Danganronpa never anticipated. While Kaede was ideal for their manufactured Killing Game, Shuichi subverts their expectations entirely. By rejecting the binary of Hope and Despair and refusing to vote, he takes a stand that transcends the game’s twisted rules. His quiet determination and intellect ultimately bring an end to the Killing Game and the series itself.

//Just as he promised Kaede.

//Kaede’s death and the way she passes the torch to Shuichi set the stage for one of, if not, THE most rewarding character arc/arcs in the series. Her impact is felt throughout the game, not just in Shuichi’s growth but in how her sacrifice inspires the survivors to keep pushing forward.

//Shuichi’s evolution from anxious and self-doubting to confident and decisive is what makes him such a standout protagonist. His relatability, paired with his ability to rise to the occasion, ensures that his journey, from the first trial to the game’s finale, is as compelling as it is memorable.

//But while the characterization and the relevance of Kaede is what carries this trial this high onto the list, I want to talk a little more about my thoughts and feelings on the invesigation, and the trial itself.

//The first chapter of Danganronpa V3 is just as heavy and depressing as its predecessors, but it cranks up the confusion factor to eleven. While Hope’s Peak Academy and Jabberwock Island had some sense of familiarity, the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juvenies in this game feels more alien, making the stakes even harder to grasp initially.

//I kind of already said this, but from the way Rantaro carries himself in the prologue, acting all mysterious and competent, I was convinced he was going to be a key player. Maybe even a leader figure who would stick around for the long haul. And then when he started going a bit off the rails, I thought, "Ah, I see where this is going."

//I began thinking that he was going to turn out like Tsurugi from the Another games. Like the morally rigid, justice-obsessed type whose sense of right and wrong is slightly…off.

//But nope! The next thing I knew, Rantaro was lying there, very dead, and I was sitting there questioning my life choices. That little arc of his really threw me for a loop.

//Unless you're NicoB and somehow channeling detective-level intuition, figuring out who the killer is in this case is next to impossible based on the investigation clues alone. And that’s exactly what makes it so brilliant.

//With Kaede as the culprit, you essentially experience the entire murder setup firsthand. You’re there for the plan, the execution (as in the crime HAPPENING in real time, not the execution that kills Kaede, although we are also there for that), and the aftermath. But the game cleverly omits just the right moments or twists key words in a way that keeps you from ever suspecting her.

//Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: some fans argue that the protagonist switch is the only good thing about this case, dismissing the rest as basic or bare-bones.

//Respectfully, I think they’re wrong.

//Sure, the protagonist twist is a massive highlight. It’s chef’s kiss in terms of execution. But the case itself has plenty to offer.

//As a first case, it had some big shoes to fill. On one hand, it easily outshines the first trial in Danganronpa 1, which, let’s be real, was serviceable but not exactly riveting.

//On the other hand, it had to compete with Danganronpa 2’s first trial, which featured Teruteru’s surprisingly intricate scheme. That one’s a tougher act to follow, but I’d argue that Kaede’s case pulls ahead in terms of how engaging and multilayered the mystery is.

//Teruteru's crime was more complicated, and engaging, but it wasn't as fun to solve as this one was for me.

//Is it the most complex case in the series? No.

//Does it redefine what meta means in V3? Not quite.

//But it’s still an awesome, tightly crafted mystery that deserves its spot among the series’ best. In hindsight, even though they are my least favourite set of mysteries in the main trilogy, V3’s cases are all pretty intricate, so the fact that this one holds its ground says a lot.

//And really, how can you not appreciate a case where the game essentially says, "You’re the killer, but good luck realizing that before we drop the bombshell?"

//It’s clever, it’s bold, and it sets the tone for V3’s penchant for subverting expectations. Whether you’re here for the shocking twists or just love seeing your brain get tied in knots, this case delivers.

//For good measure, I'll reiterate how this whole thing goes.

//So, the whole mystery kicks off with Rantaro getting murdered, and Kaede, being the brilliant hero that she is, takes it upon herself to help the group narrow down the list of suspects. She shuts down anyone who tries to throw blame at others, using hard evidence like a detective on a caffeine high.

//The excuses for why certain people couldn’t have been the killer range from, "They were miles away at the time," to "They’re physically too weak to throw a shotput hard enough to kill someone". Basically a smorgasbord of alibis and physical limitations that could’ve come straight out of a detective��s handbook.

//But as it goes, all suspicion seems to funnel onto Shuichi. After all, he’s the only one who could bypass the security system, because Miu, the mastermind behind the tech Shu and Kae used for their trap, told him how to do it, while Kaede was not informed beforehand. And since Miu has her own alibi, she's off the hook.

//However, in a classic display of Kaede's wits, she manages to throw a few crafty suggestions, and a little white lie here and there, to get Shuichi off the suspect list.

//But if Shuichi isn’t the culprit, then who in the world is? Well, Shuichi, after a brief moment of hesitation, and probably some deep internal screaming, suggests a bold new theory: Kaede could be the killer.

//Now, if this was a soap opera, this is where the dramatic music would kick in. The rest of the trial devolves into a full-on "everyone vs. Shuichi" situation. Which is a terrible situation to thrust the poor boy into, especially since this chapter also features a whole ass scene where Shuichi is crying about being scared of the truth.

//I get why Kaede did it, and it did help Shuichi in the end, but it doesn't change the fact that she was making him fight everybody over a truth that he didn't want to come to light.

//The tension is palpable, and the whole room is practically ready to tear him apart, but this is where Shuichi starts showing his detective chops. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t back down, and argues with the same quiet determination you’d expect from someone who’s been taking notes on how to deal with chaos. It's a subtle flex of his growing skills as a detective, and honestly, it’s pretty satisfying to watch him hold his ground against everyone.

//Eventually, the trial wraps up with Kaede confessing to the murder. But here's where things get a bit…well, complicated.

//Now, if there’s one thing that makes this trial truly stand out, it’s how the protagonist switch ties into the game’s larger themes of Truth vs. Lies, and more importantly, the colossal twist that the world of V3 isn't even real.

//Shuichi, the true protagonist, is like the ultimate punchline to the whole game. The fact that Kaede doesn’t make it past the first chapter is like one giant narrative rug-pull. Not only does it break your expectations for what you thought the game was going to be, but it also ties directly into the overarching narrative of deception that runs through V3.

//And, if you’re paying close attention, it’s not just a clever narrative trick. It's a commentary on the entire premise of the game. The creators themselves are in on the joke, which adds a whole layer of meta to the experience.

//In the end, this trial is a perfect storm of clever writing, emotional punches, and mind-bending twists.

//Kaede may not have been the killer, but her actions set the stage for everything that follows, and that’s what makes this trial one of my absolute favorites in the Danganronpa series.

//So yeah, I'm definitely biased. And I'm sorry if that ticks people off.

//But I should warn you. If you think THIS is the most controversial pick for the upper rankings? You'd best get ready for tomorrow's.

#danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #ranking #mod talks #kaede akamatsu #shuichi saihara #rantaro amami #dangancember 2024

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wikipediette · 6 hours ago

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emotional motion sickness

General g/n headcanons; mentions of abuse dynamics in relationships, talks of physical, emotional, and mental abuse, if these topics trigger you please dont read

so I'll start with the idea of being on earth with Jimmy, I'd like to imagine that curly set you two up, hoping that you'd rub off on him

Your first date you meet and you're charmed by him, he's a sarcastic, flirty, handsome man with a sense of humor (albeit a dry sense of humor)

people like Jimmy are VERY charming and can pretend to be a certain person to draw you in. Then slowly up the ante until you feel trapped

He starts off cute, comes a little late to dates, clothes wrinkled, flowers bent. But hes apologetic and you cant help but feel bad for him

As you get deeper into the relationship the faults start to show.

Maybe a year or so in he starts asking about friends. Nothing too dramatic just an occasional "who's that?"

And at first its cute! He's just worried and protective. But it slowly gets more and more controlling.

One of the first things an abuser will do is isolate you to make it hard to leave them. so he asks you to stop talking to a few people, coworkers or group project friends.

if you question it he will get very intense very fast and uestion why your so hesitant to cut them off.

"is there something your not telling me?" He asks, he had both arms caging you down onto your armchair, his body leaned down to look at you closely. "No!" You exclaim sitting up as best you can with him so close, "I just think it's weird you suddenly aren't ok with me and danny talking anymore!" He laughs but it holds no humor if the look on his face is anything to go by "I know you probably didn't notice but he's constantly flirting with you, he obviously wants to fuck you." you begin to mentally look over your conversations in your head, had he? Was there something you missed? Something misinterpreted? "Really?" You ask, doubting if you really should be talking to a man who liked you while in a relationship. "yes! that's why I don't want you talking to him, he's trying to take advantage of you." you sigh before nodding "yeah, sorry I... didn't even realize" "its fine" he says softly holding the back of your head to lead you into a kiss "I just want to keep you safe".

so you bite and agree, you slowly begin to cut less important people out. As you do he'll pavlov you, with each friend you pick off he'll love bomb you. kisses, hugs, gifts, sex, sweet talk, pet names, bragging about you. He'll play into whatever you want as long as you follow his rules.

When it comes to the biggest hitters like family, close circle friends, and best friends he'll wait a few years to cut them out

He'll plant ideas of a us vs them mentality.

they just want to break us apart.

they're jealous of us.

your too good for them.

they don't treat you right.

they're the abusers.

i'm the only one who REALLY loves you

and after so many years with him, despite your ups and downs you cant help but do what he says because you just don't see him as this horrible monster everyone's making him out to be.

you love him and he loves you!

people just don't understand your dynamic,

they don't know him like you do.

when it's bad its bad but when it's good its so damn good.

and his lonely act works well too, besides curly he doesn't really have any friends.

he has acquaintances and coworkers, but friends? no.

if you broke up with him he'd have no one. and you've been together so long it'd be such a jump. going from deep conversations and intense love to asking about a person's favorite color? fuck that.

when he has you were he wants you that's when all hell breaks loose.

you barely go anywhere and if you do he either needs your location the whole time (probably makes you get life360) or has to be with you, hand on hip, glaring at anyone who talks to you.

when you two get invited to parties he'll play nice (after all he is in public) and let you roam.

you'll talk to people you haven't in a bit while he drinks and talks to curly.

and its times like that that makes the worst moments feel worth it.

speaking of the worst moments.....he's a very jealous person, he constantly is worried if you're cheating on him.

he'll argue with you and wont relent till your crying and exhausted.

then once he thinks you've proved yourself he'll scoop you up and let you cry on his shoulder. murmuring that he loves you and he sorry.

he'll open up, say he knows there's something wrong with him, and he's sorry hes like this, that you deserve better and he's trying.

"I'm sorry" Jimmy softly says into your ear. cradling you like a baby in his arms. your arms are around his neck, your eyes burn with drying tears and sleep, your nose is stuffy, your throat is dry from yelling and sobbing for hours. the rocking isn't helping your sleepiness. "I'm sorry, I know there's something wrong with me. Please don't leave me"

trying to leave in these situations is probably the worst thing you could do

now I'm not under the impression that Jimmy would be overly physically abusive given that his character is all about the subtleties of abuse.

BUT! I do believe he'd restrain you, push you, grab you harder than needed, ect. If you tried to leave him while arguing.

He doesn't like you taking control of the situation and it gets him very mad, as a result he'll force you to stay where he wants.

But he doesn't explicitly hit you as that would leave marks

he wouldn't want you to be bruised because that would bring suspicion to the safety of your relationship.

And most of the relationships abuse is kept to a level that could pass as normal to others.

I think having a friend like curly in these moments that always tries to smooth things over without any bridge burning would definitely lead to him unintentionally gaslighting you about it.

side note: ok this is the first time I've really written in this format, made a romantic x reader, AND this is also my first time posting x reader onto Tumblr lol. apologies if this is ooc I never refreshed myself on Jimmy's character simply bc I don't have the time for that lol. this is also based off of my general knowledge of abusive relationships. if anyone wants more plz let me know i really wanted to try writing fanfiction seriously for a while now lmao, bye :)

#jimmy x reader #jimmy mouthwashing #mouthwashing x reader #x reader #dark fic

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rin-and-jade · 2 days ago

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Love-Me, Love-Me-Nots Daisy : A Guide on Navigating In-Sys Relationships

Romantic relationship, situationship, friendship, kinship, partnership.. There's way too much to list in just one sentence!

Here's a random fact for this topic; People say first impression is reliable to know of the other person, and surprisingly they're only 51% accurate when it's about judging wether a person is extroverted. But will you be able to judge better when it comes to your own alters as you technically live in the same headspace?

All that aside, this post will address inner relationships as a whole. Use this chance to see this topic outside of the romantic stereotype that we always see! (X-mas Activity included)

FAST PASS: Not available--this is an important occasion, read the full post!

What's a "relationship" with no romance, then?

according to this quote,

"a continuing and often committed association between two or more people, as in a family, friendship, marriage, partnership, or other interpersonal link in which the participants have some degree of influence on each other’s thoughts, feelings, and actions." - Merriam Webster

Basically, it means there's atleast two people committing with the connection they have formed with each other to qualify as a relationship, no matter the form.

When it comes to systems, it is up to themselves to see alters as separate people, or as different versions of itself,, the idea still can be applied here: as rebuilding the connection you lost/dissociated with your yet-to-be-integrated personalities/facets.

Being a system is a relationship already?!

Well--yeah!

But let me explain a bit here.

As a complex living being, our brain is made to adapt through tasks that requires multifaceted thinking. This would mean you would incorporate both logical and emotional thoughts, curious and cautious perspectives, and any behavioral or social habits or patterns you have learnt which all condenses into one singular conclusion or action that seems to be the best for a current situation--which is also dependent on how your thought processes work.

That is the basic depiction of integrated thinking to agree on a solution, but for systems--this is fragmented, leaving short-sighted solutions based on each facets, which bypasses the "filter" to integrate multiple ideas as one. Now, creating many different solutions or outcomes you could take, which is equal to the amount of alters actively participating on the discussion.

I... guess you're still confused, which is why i prepared this visual representation:

This should explain everything i had described beforehand. Now im not sure if the quality is the best..

So yes, as a complex being, you had already own different views which take skills to talk it out into one unified resolution.

Especially, if your different views you have can influence what actions, feelings, or reaction you get. That's your own emotional and mental dynamic when it comes to navigating your own map of thoughts. A literal relationship with the self..!

Eg. "I love this food! But i can't eat too much or else i'll feel sick" When you have a passion of food driven by emotional resonance, you still have a logical side that completes the thought to exact a reasoning without over-eating.

A.. Self Relationship..?

It's not a cringe thing at all. Trust. No cap.

There's literally a concept named self-care, which focuses on maintaining your health, emotional wellness, and enrichment in your life. Another term accepted widely by society is a self-date where you treat yourself similarly like a partner, focuses on practicing self love--this one would talk about how do you approach your different views (or alters, for systems), as a form of self regulation and processing.

To put this within context, you're a system, and, that means there are multiple parts of yourselves (or people) that are separated through dissociative barriers. This means you are disconnected with the majority of your multifaceted nature,, which also means you do not have a good relationship with yourself.

Simply put, this is where you learn to meet your needs again. As described from the hierarchy of needs by Maslow.

From a more general view, a negative relationship with yourself looks like:

A sense of distrust with your gut feelings

Unable to accept certain feelings or traits of your own

Self-blame/hate

Ignoring/neglecting your emotional and mental health

Unsure of your likes, dislikes, or favorite things

Not allowing yourself to be authentic (masking)

Operates in shame and focusing on failures

Not feeling you have worth or deserving of good things

Internal suppressing (notable for alter dynamics in systems)

System things that branch out from a negative relationship with yourself additionally appears as:

Fighting for front with different parts

Oftentimes arguing, playing down other's opinion

Feeling uncomfortable around headmates

Crippling sense of loneliness/disconnection amidst your alters

Things like shame, guilt, negative opinions of others, or poor treatment often shapes an unhealthy relationship with yourself.

The reason behind this is when your external environment is an enemy (eg. instead of supporting, you're being blamed) to you and your integrity, you may consciously or unconsciously pick up behaviors where you must abandon yourself to appease others and survive better, which means you have been taught to be an enemy of your own in order to live. Absolutely not nice.

Oh god. Can i ever break from this habit?

Ofcourse you can, but oftentimes your system are not in terms with some or most alters at the first place. It is normal to have a difficult or a conflicted dynamic within your other selves, and, you totally can shift this negative relationship with your own parts into a healthier and cooperative one!

It's better to take it nice and slow--i'll briefly show the steps on how to start demolishing this tensioned dynamic:

Inspire yourself with the idea of how working together would help in tackling difficult days.

Be aware of your negative thoughts or reactions when interacting with your parts, make sure that you don't act out on it. Also take this as a sign to un-learn some sabotaging or passive aggressive behaviors!

Help bringing awareness to the collective of their reactive behaviors, and reflect what can be done to increase better communication without conflict involved.

Parts often listen to their own egos--not caring about other alters and doing impulsive things while fronting. Bring clarity to how their actions impact the collective, and even themselves at the future. This would help foster more teamwork.

After some degree of awareness and cooperation has been established, do small acts of kindness for each other to strengthen the bond. This is also a good time to give roles and jobs, ensuring trust and that your back is covered.

The rest of this phase is up to you and how your natural dynamic and system works, good luck!

Waddya think of in-sys romance then..

We've briefed ourselves on what relationship constitutes as, and what does it mean generally to systems. Which means, In-sys partners and their romantic relationship is a valid (plural form) of fostering self love, akin to self-dates.

A good cooperation with your alters means a good relationship and terms with any alters you have--wether they have a purpose or not in your system. When it comes to internal romance situations, it focuses as a specific integration that your alters are going through. This will create a fusion between two or more headmates due to the dissociative barriers between them broke down.

It takes a long way to start loving yourself after years of internal disputes and conflict which perpetuates the high dissociation with each other, don't feel ashamed of it!

Are romantic relationships mandatory?

No they are not, but they are one of the most intimate, personal forms of self bonding. You still can heal and bond through cooperation and camaraderie, and everyone's styles are different, so let's not judge 'em.

Of course, romantic relationships within your system offers some pros that a normal comrade-dynamic cannot replicate:

Deeper understanding of your alters emotionally

Getting your love-needs met when you never received any proper care

Often faster to start integrating than a typical relationship

Another way to work around negative sense of worth and habits

Definitely, with some cons too:

Some alters are not compatible together, which creates friction

Unresolved habits or beliefs that blocks them from truly embracing love and care

Often frowned upon to have in-sys partners by communities, that prevents them from fully immersing in it

It brings up uncomfortable or painful truths or unresolved trauma, then to be faced and healed from

Not an extensive list, but you now got the idea. Use this list to prepare or broaden your knowledge on what romantic relationships look like!

Lastly. Did you also know that you can have parental dynamics in your system? it is similar to the romantic one, yet now driven with a different kind of love, just like a caretaker with their child parts. They are also important to heal, and feel safer after having trauma from younger times.

Takeaway & Together Activities

At the end of the day, no matter how many daisies you've plucked, a flower can't tell what's the answer to your internal relationships--romantically or not, for your system.

How do you see system dynamics differently now? There are many lessons packed in one posts that you could bring home. I definitely think that internal relationships are rarely discussed, so i gave it my all to create this entire topic, consisting of different system dynamics!

Lastly, internal relationships don’t need to be limited to serious work--they can also be fostered through shared joy and celebration! With Christmas approaching, here’s the five-day activity plan to build your bond together as i promised previously:

DAY 1

Reflect on how far you've all come. The year is coming to an end, what are the proudest moments or milestones of your system journey this year?

DAY 2

The day after reflection, what gratitude do you have for your alters? It's best to let them know you truly appreciate their work and efforts to keep things afloat before new years--let them know you feel supported by them, and willing to support them back!

DAY 3

Discuss how you would spend the whole day with others/your partner. Do you like outings? Watching movies? Or do you have multiple recommendations to do? Even if you are limited to night time only, go for it! You deserve a day to do the things you want.

DAY 4

There's one day left before the famous holiday, Take a moment to ponder on what you could get for others--if there's no money, consider a homemade gift like a memorial art, or letters,, make sure to keep them a secret before the day.

DAY 5

Don't forget to give each other's presents if you have prepared from the day before. Any consumables are also allowed to be bought on this day. Merry Christmas everyone!

On a personal note. This post took two weeks- augh-

- c

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #jeducates

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