#Besides being sad or showing weakness

[peteytheparrot]

Lil messy comic I made for the shits n giggles

[likeumeanit9497]

metal | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: y/n got a few new piercings, and when her best friend matt asks to see them, she can't say no

warnings: smut; unprotected p in v (bad); oral (fem receiving); masturbation (m/f); phone sex; dirty talk; 18+

notes: hiii guys. i feel like tumblr's flakiest writer ever coming back on here every few weeks with a one-shot and telling u all im gonna be more consistent but then just not being consistent at all. i just started a new college program and it is taking up so (!!!!) much of my time, so ive been barely able to put any time towards writing for funsies. soooo it might take me a couple weeks to put out one shots (sad) while im in this program, but i swear im doing the best i can. i appreciate u all so so so so much, but matt girls this one is for u <33

With a sigh of relief, I crawled into bed. It was late, and I was exhausted after a long day of dealing with family shit. The only thing that got me through my day listening to my dead-beat father come up with yet another excuse on why he no-showed at my birthday dinner was the promise that, at the end of the day, I would be able to curl up in bed and forget all of my problems. Now that time had come, and I couldn’t wait to turn on some trashy reality TV show and lose myself in their cushioned world for a little while.

Just as I started the show, I felt my phone vibrate beside me. For just a moment I was filled with dread — thinking that I would be once again pulled back into the drama that was my father — but once I saw the name at the top of my screen, I felt my body relax. Matt was calling.

Matt was my best friend, and he had been for years. Him and I met on the first day of school freshman year, and immediately became inseparable. He was the only person in my life who I ever felt comfortable around enough to truly open up to about my problems. There really wasn’t much in my life that he didn’t know, so of course I had told him last night that I was going to see my father, and of course that was why he was calling. Annoyingly, I felt a smile creep up on my face. I hated that I loved how involved he got with my problems; as if they were his own. I would never admit this to anyone, but it really helped because it made me feel less alone.

“Hey you.” I greeted him after accepting the call. “Hey Y/n.” His voice sounded familiar in my ear, and already it calmed the sea of bad thoughts crashing in my mind. “How did today go?” He asked, keeping his tone light. I knew though that if I could see his face, there would be faint lines of concern etched in his forehead. I sighed. “Exactly like I knew it would. He gave me an insincere apology and weak excuse the way he always does.” Matt stayed silent on the other side of the call, allowing me the time to tell him as much as I wanted. His soft breathing through the speaker, however, comforted me and let me know that he was listening.

“He smelled like a distillery and couldn’t stop slurring his words, yet he was still trying to tell me that he hadn’t drank all week.” I heard my voice weaken, and I hated that I felt a lump forming in my throat over the situation. I hated that I cared, and I definitely didn’t want anyone to know that I did; even Matt. But of course, he knew anyways. I heard an empathetic sigh through the phone. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” I rolled my eyes, doing everything I could to keep the tears from falling. “It’s whatever. It’s not like I’m really losing much, but I did tell him that I’m done for good.” I forced my words to come out smooth, like I didn’t care. And I didn’t, not really.

“That must have been really hard, Y/n. I’m really sorry.” Matt’s words were sincere, and they caused the lump in my throat to grow even bigger. I forced out a laugh to keep my other emotions at bay. “Don’t be sorry. It’s better this way. Maybe now I can finally have peace in my crazy life.” There was silence on the line, and I knew it was because Matt wanted me to go deeper about my feelings, but I couldn’t handle much more tonight.

“Anyways,” I started, blinking away my tears and plastering a corny smile on my face as if Matt could even see it, “How have you been? We haven’t talked much over the past week.” At the change of subject, Matt picked up on my disinterest in the topic of my father, and like the best friend he is, transitioned into our new topic smoothly. “I’ve been good, been working a lot but it’s been on exciting things. What have you been up to? You know, besides today?” I chuckled softly.

“Honestly not much besides work. My boss has been really stressed out since the end of last quarter so I’ve been coming into the office early and staying well past five every day.” I paused, staring up at my ceiling trying to think if there was anything exciting I could tell Matt. Suddenly, I remembered that there actually was something that I had done that was more interesting than just working late all week. “Oh! I also got some new piercings last week.” It was Matt’s turn to chuckle.

“Y/n, how the fuck did you fit more piercings on your body?” I laughed. He was right, both of my ears were filled with every piercing imaginable, and I also had my nose, tongue, and belly button pierced. I had already told him that I would never get anymore facial piercings, and I certainly didn’t have much room on my ears to get more, so I understood his confusion entirely. “Do you want to guess where they are?” I teased, feeling relieved to have something to talk about that didn’t make be absolutely miserable for once. “Sure,” I heard what sounded like a blanket rubbing against the speaker, and I assumed that Matt was now getting comfortable in bed, also seemingly enjoying the light-hearted conversation, “But can I get some hints?”

“Sure,” I replied, “You can ask me three questions.” I heard him smile through the phone. “Okay…” There was a pause as he came up with his first question. “How many did you get?” Without hesitation, I was able to respond. “I got three.” There was another pause, and then. “Are two of them a part of a pair?” I laughed at Matt’s not-so-subtle guess. I had told him months ago that I had been wanting to get a certain pair of piercings for a while, and I knew he was thinking of that exact conversation. “Yes they are.” I replied, and there was a dramatic gasp on the line. “Ouch, you actually got your nipples pierced?” His voice was laced with playful concern, and something else. Intrigue?

“Okay okay, you got two out of the three. One more question left.” I encouraged him. If he was shocked about my nipple piercings, I couldn’t wait to hear his reaction to the third. He was silent again for a moment, surely confused by the third piercing. Nipple piercings weren’t that outlandish for me, and he knew that, but this last one is sure to blow his mind. “Oh god, I don’t know. Is it another body piercing?” His tone sounded so helpless, and I knew he really didn’t have a clue. “It is, yes.” I did my best to contain my laughter at this point, not wanting to give it away.

“Is it a second belly button piercing?” The guess was weak, and by the tone of his voice he knew it. “Nope.” I replied, biting my nails in anticipation. He was once again silent on the phone, and I knew he was officially running out of ideas. After a moment, I decided to give him one last hint. “Think lower.”

A new silence poured from the phone. Before, there was the silence of deep thought. Now, there was a heavier silence that let me know he finally put it together in his head. Below your belly button, there aren’t many places you can get pierced. He knew that just as much as I did. But I didn’t know if his silence meant he was just shocked, or if he was genuinely disappointed in me. For the first time since becoming friends with Matt, I felt nervous that maybe I had gone too far.

“You’re serious?” He asked, finally breaking his silence, and I couldn’t help but release a short, nervous laugh. “Yeah. Why? Did I just delve too far into the daddy-issues stereotype?” I tried to keep my tone humorous, but inside I was actually worried that was true. Did he think I was weird now? Or did the fact that I had a piece of metal pierced atop my bundle of nerves immediately turn me into some dirty whore in his eyes?

“No! Jesus, no Y/n.” His rushed words put a pause on my spiralling thoughts, and I felt myself relax slightly. “It’s just,” In that moment, I wished that I could see his face. At least then I would have better odds of being able to read him instead of just waiting helplessly on the other side of the phone. He was struggling to find the words he wanted to say, and in my mind that meant he was getting ready to give me some sort of lecture. It wasn’t something that he was in the habit of doing, but I had also never done anything as shocking as this before. I began to prepare myself for this lecture, and come up with explanations and excuses for what I had done, when his hesitant words stopped me in my tracks.

“Can I see them?”

I stared at my phone for a second, unsure if I was just hearing things. “You want to see them?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking, for clarification’s sake. I was shocked. Even with how close Matt and I are, we had never ever seen each other naked. In fact, there had been no physical intimacy between us other than platonic cuddles every once in a while. I would be lying, though, if I denied ever having moments of weakness. There had been times, when we would have sleepovers after tough days and the heat of Matt’s comforting body pressed against me, where I had wanted to throw all logic aside and press my lips to his. But I never would have done it. Matt wasn’t exactly known for his boldness, and I feared that my bad habit of being spontaneous would absolutely destroy our friendship. But now, he had me questioning all of that.

“I’m curious.” He replied, his tone nonchalant. I still couldn’t tell if he was being serious, and I felt like a deer in headlights. Just as I was about to tell him to stop fucking around, my screen lit up with a Facetime call from Matt. My stomach did a flip. “You gonna pick up?” His voice made me jump, but I cleared my throat and hit accept.

Suddenly, Matt’s face filled my screen. He was in his bed, the only light in his room seeming to come from a faint source; likely his computer screen. His face was so familiar, and the smile he sent me so comforting, that I immediately felt more at ease than I felt before. “Hey.” He said gently, and I laughed at the ridiculousness of this moment. “Hey” I replied before shifting my position in bed nervously. “So you were serious?” I asked awkwardly, and he nodded. “If you’re okay with it, obviously.” I took a deep breath. I was okay with it, of course, but it was just so out of the norm for us that I felt shell shocked.

“I’ll show you nipples first.” I said, sitting up in my bed before grabbing the bottom hem of my oversized t-shirt. I positioned my phone in front of my still-clothed chest, and watched his face on the screen. He laid naturally in bed, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary, but the way his dilated blue eyes were glued to the screen I could tell that he was feeling the same kind of anticipation that I was. Slowly, I finally lifted my shirt up over my chest; allowing him a full view of my new piercings.

I intentionally left the shirt up to block my own vision, because I couldn’t handle watching him stare at my tits for the first time. In the dark, all I heard was silence for what felt like forever, and I got worried that I had somehow lost him. Cautiously, I pulled my t-shirt away from my eyes, and glanced at him on the screen. He was staring intently; I could see his eyes move from one tit to the other every few seconds, and there was a slight grin across his face. “Wow.” He said finally, still taking them in. “Those are sick piercings.” I stifled a laugh at the fact that he was still trying to act like it was all just about the piercings, and that there weren’t two tits attached to the metal. “Thanks.” I replied, a small chuckle still evident in my voice.

I allowed him a few more seconds of shameless staring before speaking again. “You ready for the third?” I watched as he blinked a few times and took a deep breath. “I can’t wait.” He replied, causing my stomach to do another flip. I brought the phone back up to my face as I laid back down, smiling at him nervously as I pulled my comforter off my lower body. I was only wearing a pair of panties, so I already felt shy when I positioned my phone in between my legs. I used the front camera still, hoping that it would allow him a better view, but hated that you could still see the lower part of my face.

Matt hadn’t moved in his bed since I looked at him last. In fact, it almost looked like his image was frozen. His eyes were still glued to the screen, and he seemed to be barely blinking; as if he was scared that if he did, he would miss it entirely. “Okay, ready?” I asked, using the hand that wasn’t holding the phone steady to grab onto the side of my panties. Even in the almost-dark of his room, I could see him gulp before nodding his head. “Ready.” He replied.

Slowly, I hooked a finger under my panties, and pulled them to the side. In the blink of an eye, all of me had been revealed to Matt through a screen inches away from my core. My eyes veered back and forth from myself in the phone and Matt’s expression. I could see the shiny metal glitter against my pink clit, and watched as Matt visibly struggled to keep his composure. Neither of us spoke for a moment, and I felt myself begin to tremble under his shameless stare. I grew nervous, then, that my body would begin to give away how suddenly aroused I became under his eyes. My core was flooding with heat, and I knew that I was beginning to grow slick with my wetness.

“Does it hurt?” He finally spoke, but his voice had changed drastically since I had last heard it. It had dropped nearly a whole octave, and there was a sort of breathlessness to it that was foreign to me. It was the voice of arousal, and that knowledge was enough to drive me crazy. “N-no, it doesn’t,” I replied, using all the strength in me to not squeeze my legs together to relieve some of the pressure flooding my core. “It’s been a week, and these sorts of piercings heal really quick surprisingly. I can touch it and everything.” My last sentence fell from my mouth thoughtlessly, and I immediately felt my cheeks grow hot at my accidental boldness. That didn’t last long, though, because Matt’s next words pulled all that heat right back to where it was before.

“So touch it then.”

It was like all the sense was knocked out of me from his words. I would have thought that my instinct would have been to laugh and roll my eyes before telling Matt to knock it off, but the seriousness of his tone, the sharp blue of his piercing eyes, and gruffness of his voice caused my brain to shut off. Immediately, my hand traveled to my bud, where I began to slowly play with the metal. Although I had been telling the truth when I told Matt that it was fully healed, I hadn’t yet touched myself in this way since getting it pierced, and the new sensation immediately sent pleasurable shock waves through my body. As I began to slowly rub my clit, the metal added a new level of pressure to the nerves that — combined with the adrenaline that came from doing this in front of my best friend for the first time — caused me to throw my head back against my pillows.

“Tell me how it feels.” Matt’s deep voice filled the space around me in a way that made me feel even more erotic, and I released a soft moan. “I-It feels good.” I replied breathlessly, my fingers beginning to move quicker as I squeezed my eyes shut in pleasure. “Better than before?” His question came out slightly choppy, and through the phone speaker I heard the rhythmic shuffling of his comforter. “Y-yes. Much better.” I managed to reply, the thought of what he was doing to himself on the other side of the screen pushing me closer to the edge.

“Look at me.” He commanded, and without hesitation I lifted my head up; looking at him through the screen. He could only see the lower half of my face, but I could see all of his. As I continued toying with myself, I watched him through fluttering eyelashes. Although his face had not changed much — besides the darkening of his pupils and the faint accumulation of sweat on his brow — the repetitive movement of his bicep at the corner of the screen told me everything that I needed to know. “You look so good.” He complimented me, his voice low and gravelly. I moaned in response, rolling my hips slowly as I began to grow antsy with a need that I knew I couldn’t fulfill myself.

The pleasure was growing like a balloon deep inside of me, but my own fingers weren’t enough to reach it. Not now; not when I have a beautiful man that I trust more than anyone else watching me with that dangerously erotic gaze. Just like Matt knows everything about me, I know everything about him. And so I know that, in this moment, he wants the same thing that I do. That’s why I didn’t feel any unease or hesitation when I drew my fingers away from my clit, ran them achingly slow along the rest of my heat, and spoke.

“Please come over Matt.”

It was a request that I had made to him countless times. Those times I was usually close to tears after a long day of dealing with the shitty cards I had been handed in the family department. I needed him then, like I need him now. In those times he never ever hesitated, and this time was no different. In one swift motion, I watched through the screen as Matt lifted himself out of his bed, threw on a t-shirt, and grabbed his keys off the bedside table. “I’ll be there in ten.” Just like my request, his response was the same as always. As I told him to drive safe before hanging up the call, I felt my body vibrate in a way it never had before. I pulled my hand out of my panties and waited in desperate anticipation for the familiar sound of his car pulling into my driveway.

𓆩☆𓆪

Matt arrived at my place in eight minutes, and as soon as I saw his headlights through my window, I sprung out of bed and raced to the door. There was no nervousness, no reluctancy, no questioning whether or not we were making a big mistake; all I knew was that I needed his hands on my burning skin desperately.

I flung the door open before he even had a chance to knock, but Matt didn’t hesitate before pulling me into him and engulfing my mouth with his own. Although we had never kissed before, it wasn’t shock that I felt in that moment; it was the melting satisfaction of familiarity. I practically collapsed in his arms as his mouth moved against mine as if they were two pieces of a puzzle, and relished in the feeling of his hands travelling wildly across my aching body at last.

As he held me gently against the wall, I felt his hardened member press against my core, and I shuddered in pleasurable frustration. In that moment, I could have lost all self control — pulled his pants and boxers down in one movement and slipped his cock into my aching core right then and there — if he hadn’t grabbed onto my ass and lifted me off of the ground. Without removing his lips from mine, he carried me past my entrance way and all the way into my dark bedroom as if he had memorized every square inch of my place.

As he continued to kiss me with hungry desire, he paradoxically draped my body gently against my bed. Leaning over me, his mouth refused to leave mine and his tongue begged me for entrance. I obliged, and our tongues swirled together with comfort; as if they were old friends. The sound of our heavy breathing filled my head, and I ran my hands along his body; allowing myself to feel him in a way I never had before. Each part of him felt familiar — his back, his arms, his stomach — but each new part of him I touched set off sparks of electricity under my fingertips. This was real, and this was good.

It was only after I began toying with the waistband of his pants, and he the hem of my shirt, that our lips separated and we really looked at each other since the moment he arrived. Both of our chests were heaving as we tried to catch our breath, and I gazed up at his darkened eyes for what felt like forever, until a soft smile crept onto his swollen lips. “Hi.” He said, and I released a short laugh realizing that this was the first word either one of us had said to the other since hanging up the Facetime call. “Hey.” I replied, a smile matching his now etched onto my face.

“Can I take this off?” He tugged on the bottom of my t-shirt, and I nodded. “Please.” I replied, feeling no shame in my clear desperation. Matt obliged, pulling the shirt up over my head and exposing the tits he had seen on Facetime not long before. There was a pause, and for the first time since we started all this I felt briefly insecure. That is, until I looked up to his face and saw his jaw physically dropped in awe. He looked like he had fallen into some sort of trance, and mindlessly brought his two gentle hands toward my hardened, pierced nipples. He ran a soft thumb against each piercing, and I hissed at the deliciously taunting sensation.

“Do these ones hurt at all?” His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but his eyes never left my chest. “These ones do a little, yeah.” I replied, to which his eyes finally fluttered up to my face with slight concern. “But it’s really not that bad.” I added, reassuring him out of fear that he might suddenly not want to continue. This seemed to help, as his eyes made their way back to my chest before his body suddenly began tilting forward. He leaned above my chest, really only centimetres away, and I watched as he placed two small, unbelievably gentle kisses against each hardened nipple. The ecstasy I felt in that moment caused me to release a soft moan, and goosebumps spread across my skin like wildfire, and I suddenly realized that I needed him more than ever.

As if reading my mind, his mouth then began moving slowly down my writhing body. He took his time on my sternum, then the skin below my belly button, then my hip bones, and I felt like I could explode. My hands flew to his hair and I subconsciously tugged at its base in decadent frustration. And then slowly, so, so, slowly, Matt began dragging my soaked panties down my legs. I felt like I could crumble under his gaze, but his eyes never left my newly exposed core. Blinking ever so slowly, he dropped to his knees and grabbed my shaky legs to part them. Once he did, I watched as he groaned softly at what he saw.

I knew without having to look that I was literally dripping from arousal, and that hunch was confirmed when Matt took one finger and dragged it along my slit; collecting the overabundance of fluid. He didn’t even take his eyes off of my centre, he just brought his wet finger to his mouth and wrapped his lips around it; so transfixed by what he saw in front of him that he didn’t even care to make a scene of tasting me for the first time. I had never felt more glorious than I did in that moment, and it was so overwhelming that I could have came just from sight alone.

Slowly, Matt’s mouth inched closer and closer to my clit, before he carefully wrapped his lips around it. Upon the first contact of his warm tongue playing with the cool metal of my piercing, I was hit with a powerful wave of pleasure that shook my whole body. As he picked up speed, swirling and sucking my bundle of nerves, I couldn’t control the sounds that fell from my lips. Moans of pleasure, pain, and anticipation filled the room, and they only seemed to draw similar ones from Matt.

Matt slid two fingers into me with ease, and began pumping them in and out in rhythm with the movements of his tongue. His fingers were curled up to just the place I needed them to be, and I felt what was left of my sanity begin to crumble as I approached an orgasm. The orgasm that I had been desperately needing since our Facetime call. It’s impending presence had taken control of my mind for what felt like forever, and now it was finally threatening to take control of my entire body. Yet, still, I needed more.

Quickly, before the first waves could crash, I pulled Matt’s face away. Immediately, his blissed-out expression quickly changed to one of concern, but before he had the chance to speak, my desperate voice filled the room. “Please Matt, I want to cum with you.” His features softened before understanding flashed in his eyes. Without saying a word, he stood up and began unzipping his pants. I waited in anticipation, watching with hungry eyes as his painfully hard member sprung free from his boxers. Once he had fully discarded his clothes, he leaned down and kissed me so deeply that I saw stars. His mouth tasted like me, and I couldn’t help but slip my tongue past his lips; intoxicated by the combination of me and him on my tastebuds.

I felt his naked member press against my core and I shuddered from pure lust. I was so engulfed in the intensity that I was afraid I would fall into pieces as soon as he slid into me. Breaking the kiss, Matt straightened himself out and grabbed my legs before placing them on either side of his waist. The two pieces of us that needed each other the most right now were just inches from one another. My eyes fell between my legs, and I watched in euphoric awe as Matt grabbed his swollen member, lined it up with my centre, and slowly pushed into me. His movements were so torturously, deliciously slow, my eyes rolled and my head fell back onto the mattress.

On each slow roll of his hips, his cock slammed into my g-spot and made my vision go spotty. I held onto his flexed shoulders like I was drowning and they were my life raft, and I released harsh guttural moans each time my walls stretched; welcoming him graciously. “Fuck, you feel so good.” Matt’s raspy voice fluttered my stomach, and I opened my eyes to come face-to-face with him. He was staring down at my contorted face with a look filled with nothing but pleasure and adoration. His flushed cheeks and dark pink lips gave him a look that bordered on innocent, but there was a certain hint of hard focus in the depths of his ocean eyes that told me he was feeling as good as I was.

Each time he thrusted into me, the soft crest of his pelvis brushed ever so lightly against my new piercing; granting me a new form of pleasure that I had never experienced before. I had been told by other people that the piercing can be intense during sex, but I had underestimated just how intense it would be. I had no sense of control as Matt’s cock continued to drive into me, and I couldn’t help but vocalize how he was making me feel.

“J-just like that Matt, fuck!”

“Your c-cock fills me s-so go-od!”

“H-harder, please baby!”

At my last statement, Matt showed he was listening by suddenly slamming into me harder and faster than I had ever felt before. He grabbed my legs and wrapped them tightly around his waist, and as I arched my back in pleasure he draped one of his arms around it and used the other to hold my jaw; brushing it lightly with his thumb to ensure me that his gentleness had not completely disappeared. His breathing quickly grew more and more rapid, and deep grunts fell from his mouth every few seconds.

I was hit with shockwaves of pleasure upon each of his thrusts, and I knew that my orgasm was closer than ever. I dug my nails into his back and tightened my legs around him in a desperate and subconscious attempt at getting as close as possible to him, and it was clear that there was no stopping the orgasm that was bubbling inside of me. “G-gonna cum Matt.” I squeaked out, rolling my hips up slightly deepen his thrusts even more. “Good girl, want me to cum with you?” His words were in my ear, and even the dampness that his mouth made against my skin added to my unraveling euphoria. Beyond the point of being able to speak correctly, I simply nodded my head frantically.

As I did, Matt released the deep moan that pushed me over the edge. My orgasm took control of every cell in my body, and I cried out in overwhelming pleasure as it tore me to shreds. I felt my body stiffen so much that I was practically lifting off of the bed, and my walls pulsed intensely as I squirted violently all over Matt. Just then, I felt Matt’s body stiffen above me, and his movements became a whisper as he cursed into my ear. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” His moans rang in my ear with each of his weak thrusts, and I felt his twitching cock paint my walls white as he came undone in unison with me.

Eventually, his body stilled completely, and he rested above me as we both caught our breaths and came down from our highs. His cock slipped out of me, and I immediately felt cold and empty in its absence. After a few moments, Matt lifted his head from my shoulder and gazed at me with a soft smile on his face.

“Damn.”

“I know.”

”I mean, that was-”

“I know.”

We continued to stare at each other, both with matching smiles on our faces, until I dissolved into childish giggles.

“What?” Matt asked, unable to keep himself from laughing as well. “What?” He asked again, nudging my shoulder gently as I giggled. “I mean come on,” I continued to laugh, “That was crazy. Don’t you think it was crazy?” I looked at him, starting to feel the first hints of regret now that it was over and we had to go back to being friends. “I don’t think it was crazy.” He replied simply, before bringing his lips back to mine. This kiss was different than the other ones we shared tonight, though. There was no hunger, no lust. There was just love.

He pulled away after only a few moments, and I looked back at him with what I was sure was confusion all over my face. “I have never felt less crazy in my life than I’ve felt tonight.” Matt continued, and I felt my stomach flutter, “Tonight, everything finally feels right.” I felt a bashful smile form on my lips. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel the exact same way. “So,” I started, unsure of how to maneuver this, “What now?” Matt got up.

“Well,” He began, grabbing his discarded t-shirt and using it to gently clean me up, “It’s late and you’ve had a long day, so I think we should get some sleep.” I propped myself up on my shoulders and watched as he began to clean himself next. “And then when we wake up tomorrow, we’ll go get some breakfast and talk about what we both want.” He walked into my adjacent bathroom and started the shower, the way he has done a thousand times before, before walking back to where I was and helping me off the bed.

Once I was on my feet, he placed another gentle kiss against my lips, and I felt my insides melt at the comfort of his touch. “But if I’m being completely honest, which you know I always am, I think we both already know we want the same thing.” I looked up at him through nervous eyelashes, and had to chew my bottom lip to stifle the massive smile that was threatening to take over my mouth. Matt had no problem showing his huge smile, and he tilted his head quizzically in my silence. “Am I right?” He asked, and instead of responding with words, I leaned up and placed a kiss of my own on his lips.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

[sknyuz]

sunshine under the weather | l.s.m.

synopsis — when seokmin’s on his “deathbed,” you don’t hesitate. you show up with soup, medicine, and his favorite vitamin jellies. he whines, clings, and insists he’s dying. you roll your eyes and stay anyway.

pairing — lee seokmin (dk) x reader

genre — friends-to-lovers, comfort, fluff, confessionals, soft moments, sick!seokmin, mutual pining, emotional intimacy, lowkey domestic vibes

warnings — none, really... mentions of illnes and skinship

word count — ~2.1k

a/n — doing my first request on here from @seokminfilm !! i hope u enjoy <3 and i hope i did dk’s bright demeanor justice despite him being sick in this one TT enjoy <3

you don’t even knock when you arrive. seokmin gave you the spare key months ago, claiming it was “just in case,” but judging by the way he sounds over the phone—groggy, dramatic, and insistent that he’s “definitely on his deathbed”—this qualifies as an emergency.

“seokmin?” you call out, kicking off your shoes and juggling a tote bag full of supplies: water bottles, medicine, soup, and those vitamin jelly things he weirdly loves.

a faint groan echoes from the couch. “i’m here... barely.”

you find him bundled in a mountain of blankets, only the top of his messy hair and the tip of his nose visible. his cheeks are flushed, his eyes glassy, and there’s a tissue tragically hanging off his pinky finger like he got distracted mid-sneeze and gave up.

“you look like a burrito that’s seen better days,” you say gently, dropping your things on the coffee table.

“you’re lucky i’m too weak to fight back,” he mumbles, voice scratchy but still full of unnecessary sass. “is this... is this my final form?”

“you’re so dramatic,” you reply, already kneeling beside him to press the back of your hand to his forehead. he leans into your touch like a sunflower to sunlight. “yep. you’re burning up.”

he pouts, “told you. i’m dying.” groaning dramatically.

“you have a fever, not the plague.”

he tries to muster a whiny comeback but it’s lost in a cough that has him curling deeper into the blankets. you sigh and start unpacking your bag.

“we need to get you to bed.”

“but the couch is my kingdom now.”

“the couch smells like cough drops and sadness.”

he snorts. “you’re mean to a sick man.”

“and yet, here i am. come on.” you tug at the blanket. “up.”

it takes far too long, with plenty of exaggerated groans and muttered complaints (“you’re stronger than me. just carry me.” “i’m literally trying.”), but you finally manage to get him to his feet. sort of. he slumps against you dramatically, all long limbs and no coordination.

“wow,” you grunt. “you’re heavy.”

“muscle,” he whispers. “pure muscle.”

“you’re a noodle right now.”

he whines at this, flailing his arms as you steady yourself, “okay, now let’s get you to bed,” you say, guiding him slowly down the hallway. each step seems to drain him more, his grip on your arm growing slightly firmer with every passing second. when you finally manage to get him settled in bed, you start pulling the blankets over him.

he’s barely awake, eyes half-lidded, a slight pout on his lips. “i’m comfy... i’ll be fine, y/n.” he mumbles, not sounding very convincing at all.

“you’re feverish, seokmin. you need to cool down.” you brush his hair out of his face. “wait right here. i’ll get a towel with some ice water to help bring your temperature down.” just as you were standing up, he shifts in the bed, his hand weakly reaching out toward you as if he’s not quite ready to let you go. “don’t leave me…” his voice is barely audible, thick with sleep, but there's an almost desperate note to it.

you freeze, turning back to look at him, his big eyes peeking up at you from under his half-closed lashes. his hand is resting limply on the edge of the bed, as if reaching out to you, but it feels soft—fragile, even. you can’t help but pause, heart softening.

"i’m not going anywhere," you reply, moving back toward him. you brush a thumb across his hand, giving him a reassuring smile. “just need to grab a towel, okay?”

he closes his eyes for a second, letting out a little sigh. “stay close…” he murmurs, but there’s a trace of vulnerability in his voice now that he’s too tired to mask it.

you nod, your hand gently cupping his cheek. “i’m right here.”

when you finally leave to grab the towel, you can still hear his weak little hum of protest, but you know he’ll be okay. after all, you’re not going anywhere.

you quickly grab a basin, fill it with cold water and ice from the freezer, then rush back to seokmin’s side. when you re-enter the room, he’s curled up under the covers, his face flushed, cheeks burning with fever. his eyes are closed, but the slow, shallow rise and fall of his chest tells you he’s still awake—still fighting it.

you sit down beside him, carefully lifting his head just enough to slip a towel over his forehead. the second the cold hits his skin, he flinches.

“ah… cold!” he whines, scrunching his nose, his body curling in tighter as if he could escape the chill.

“sorry, i know,” you whisper, smoothing the towel over his forehead, trying to make it more bearable. he looks so fragile like this. not the usual sunshine you’re used to. and it does something to your heart—this version of him, all quiet and needy and not hiding how he feels.

“hold still for me, okay? just a little,” you murmur, fingers brushing his damp hair back gently. seokmin seems to melt back into the pillow, letting out a sigh, still shivering slightly from the cold.

“minnie…” the old nickname slips out before you even realize it, soft and natural, like it’s always been there. “you’re okay. you’re going to feel better soon.”

his eyes blink open, slow and glassy with fever. they search your face, and a tiny, tired smile tugs at his lips. his hand reaches up, rests gently over yours.

“minnie…” he repeats, his voice nothing more than a breath. “that’s... you haven’t called me that since highschool...”

you laugh quietly, heart twisting at the way he says the childish nickname, yet it holds an affectionate ring to it. it makes you want to stay like this forever. to keep him safe. to be the warmth he always is to everyone else.

you trail your fingers along his jaw, soft and comforting. “you’re adorable, you know that?” you whisper. and it’s not just teasing. not this time. there’s something tender in it, something honest.

his eyes flutter, and he lets out a soft yawn. “minnie…” he murmurs and repests the nickname in his tongue again, a little dazed now, and you press the towel to his skin once more.

you chuckle, heart warming at the way he says it, even though he’s still weak and feverish. it makes you realize how much you want to take care of him, how much you want to be there for him—always. maybe he’s always been your sunshine, but today, it feels like he’s the one who needs the warmth.

you brush his cheek gently, your thumb tracing the soft line of his jaw. “you’re adorable, you know that?” you say, your tone light, but there's a softness to it now that wasn’t there before. He’s not just the energetic seokmin now. he’s someone you want to protect, someone who, even in his most vulnerable state, makes you want to take care of him even more.

you don’t leave. you can’t. not when he looks so small in this bed, not when his fingers curl weakly around yours like he doesn’t want you to go.

seokmin’s eyes flutter open suddenly, and for a moment, he’s disoriented. he blinks a few times, trying to adjust to the dim light in the room, and then he sees you—still by his side, sitting right next to him, with your hair messy from the long day. the soft glow from the bedside lamp outlines your face, and his heart does this soft little skip when he notices how you look, a little worn out, but still there.

he can’t help it. he reaches out and gently brushes the strands of hair from your face, his touch tender. you stir, groaning slightly as you shift, but don’t quite wake up.

his hand lifts slowly, brushing a few strands from your face. his touch is gentle, reverent.

“y/n?” his voice is hoarse.

you blink, rubbing your eyes, clearly still half-asleep. “mmm… you up?” you murmur, not fully aware yet. “how do you feel?”

seokmin doesn’t answer immediately. his eyes linger on you, on how you’re still so worried about him despite how exhausted you must be. how you’re always looking out for him, even when you’re drained yourself. he smiles softly, but it’s gentle, sincere.

“i should be asking you that,” he says, and it’s laced with that soft, familiar concern that always makes your heart ache. you sneeze, a tiny, tired sound, and his face shifts immediately into a pout.

“ah… y/n...” he whines, leaning forward to grab your shoulders gently, pulling you toward him. “c’mere…” he murmurs, voice soft but insistent, and before you can react, he’s pulling you into his arms, tucking you against his chest.

you don’t fight it. you let yourself be drawn in, let him wrap his arms around you like it’s the most natural thing in the world. like it’s where you belong.

he tucks the blanket over both of you, his palm resting between your shoulder blades as he rubs slow, soothing circles.

you melt into him, your ear pressed against his chest, listening to the soft, steady beat of his heart.

you’re quiet for a moment, content in his arms, but there’s something bubbling up inside of him. a feeling he’s been trying to ignore for a while now. his heart beats a little faster, and he can’t quite shake the urge to say what’s been on his mind for longer than he’d like to admit.

“y/n,” he whispers. you tilt your head up, eyes meeting his. his hand cradles your cheek, thumb brushing lightly along your skin.

“i’m not going anywhere, okay?” his voice is steady, quiet but full of something that makes your breath catch. “i know you always take care of me… but this time, i want to take care of you.”

he pauses, swallows.

“and i wouldn’t want it any other way,” he says with a shy grin, like he’s trying to play it off—but the look in his bright, big eyes is serious. “you’re my best friend, yeah. but… i don’t want to be just your friend anymore. i want to be by your side… for real. not only as your ‘sunshine,’ or your study buddy. just as me, lee seokmin. and you.”

your heart stutters. everything goes still.

he’s never looked at you like this before. or maybe he has, and you just never let yourself notice.

you open your mouth, but he’s already speaking again.

“i don’t know when it happened. i just… i’ve always wanted more. i think i’ve always wanted you.”

his confession lingers in the air, warm and honest.

you stare at him, and suddenly all the lingering touches and late-night calls and “accidental” cuddles on movie nights hit you like a wave. it’s always been there. it’s always been him.

you lift your hand, press it gently to his cheek, your thumb brushing over the curve of his jaw.

“i’m not going anywhere either, seokmin,” you whisper. “i think i’ve always known… i wanted you, too.”

his smile stretches wide, eyes crinkling at the corners as he pulls you in tighter, like he’s afraid you might disappear.

“good,” he breathes. “because i don’t think i could ever let you go.” seokmin whines, practically squeezing you in his arms.

you giggle at this, sighing happily, soft and breathless, as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

and in that quiet, under the soft hum of the heater and the fading ice in the basin, something shifts. something clicks into place—

he’s your sunshine. and you’re finally ready to be his, too.

a/n: ahh !! i learned how to make gradient colors on text~ thank u for requesting a fic, it means so much to me and pushes me to write even more. would appreciate a follow and more requests like this. thank u guys sm <3 the taglist for my upcoming mingyu fic is still open !!

[azmageddon]

Silence

Pairing: Azriel x Cassian's twin!healer!reader

Summary: When you get stuck Under the Mountain, your mate finds the sudden silence deafening.

Warnings: none!

a/n: Based on an anonymous request! Requests are so fun! I love exploring ideas I never would have thought of. Keep them coming! This all takes place within the same AU where reader and Azriel kept their relationship secret from the IC (besides Cassian).

Azriel's POV

The silence was deafening. Never in the last 450 years had he felt such empty silence. The bond was never closed. 

But now it was silent and cold. The golden thread that joined him to you floated from the middle of his chest, right at the center of his soul, into nothing. He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, rubbing until he saw stars, willing this to be a dream he would wake up from. But Azriel knew better than to think this was a dream. He never slept anyway. 

“Keep Velaris safe,” Rhys’ voice had said. “And don’t come after us.”

Rhys’ voice was calm, yet commanding. It was the demand of a High Lord: something Azriel physically couldn’t ignore. 

At first, he didn’t understand the command. What did he mean, don’t come after us? Keep Velaris safe? You and Azriel had just been having a mental conversation, gossiping over the abhorrent fashion of the Autumn brothers, when Rhys’ voice interrupted you mid-sentence. 

But when Azriel reached back out to you to ask what the warning meant, he was met only with the thick, suffocating silence. 

The bond was never closed. It stayed open when you were hard at work: treating the injured, delivering babies, or easing the pain of Illyrians’ clipped wings. It stayed open when you were angry, or sad, after an argument, especially if you wanted him to feel particularly bad about it afterward.

The bond was never closed. Not when he went on missions for weeks at a time. Not even when he dragged Rhys’ prisoners to the dungeons of the Hewn City and did unspeakable things. You were his comfort. Your shared emotions were what grounded him, reminded him that life was worth living. They were a constant in his life, as effortless to absorb as breathing. 

You had become his inner voice; his conscience. His reminder that he wasn’t the villain of this story. Now that it was gone, he wasn’t sure. 

For 450 years, the bond was never closed, a vow the two of you had made when you accepted the mating bond. But now, that silence was louder than any battle or war he had ever partaken in. 

The memory of when he had found out you were mates played in his head. Azriel couldn’t keep the memory from flooding into his mind and the guilt that came along with it every time he remembered. 

You, covered in blood that wasn’t your own, watching him with worry in your eyes. 

“How long have you known?” He remembers asking, venom lacing every word he spat at you. He was angry and embarrassed; how could he have missed all the signs? How could you keep such an important, life altering secret from him? He couldn’t show that embarrassment, couldn’t show weakness, especially not to you. So he chose anger instead. 

“Since the day we met,” you replied, taking a step and trying to close the gap between the two of you. Instinctively, Azriel took a step back, the shock turning his embarrassment to shame and anger to rage.

“I was eleven when we met, Y/N,” he hissed, implying the absurdity of the time frame. Nearly a century of his fate was kept a mystery to him. Cassian had joined them at that point, pointedly observing that Azriel wasn’t taking the news well. A thought surfaced in his mind. Turning to Cassian, he has to refrain from advancing on his longest friend. “And how long have you known?” Cassian’s silence was the only answer he needed.

Azriel shook his head to clear it, choosing not to remember how you cried at the way he turned away and left you with your heart in his hands, just for him to crush it. 

It all made sense after your confession. He never understood why you insisted on being childhood friends. He was broken and lonely and disowned by his own family, but you had always shown true kindness and friendship. As you grew together, you slowly evolved into innocent adolescence first loves, and eventually adult lovers. It wasn’t until your untimely move from Illyria to Velaris to work for the late High Lord that Azriel never saw you again. That is, until the first war with Hybern and your admission of the truth. 

After Azriel had recovered from the initial anger and shock, your best kept secret had become a shared secret as the two of you accepted the bond. He still remembers the first time he heard your voice in his head. Your lovely, soft voice that wrapped around his mind like the sweetest honey. 

“Old age getting to you?” You teased as Azriel took what looked like a painful blow to the stomach from Rhys during training. 

He was so taken aback by your voice that he even turned to you, thinking you had said it out loud. But you weren’t looking at him; you had your back turned in a combat sequence with your brother. 

The momentary lapse rewarded him with another hit from Rhys, this time on the side of the head. 

“Everything alright, brother?” Rhys asked, concern flooding his voice. 

But Azriel only smirked and turned back to his brother to begin again. 

“You’ll pay for that later, love” he responded through the bond and could have sworn that he saw you falter in your training from his peripheral vision. 

How could he have let this happen? How could he have not foreseen that you would be taken from him? A mysterious invitation calling for the High Lord and his second in command to attend a party Under the Mountain? What kind of Spymaster couldn’t ascertain the danger that now all-consumed the other half of his soul?

Azriels felt something hit his knees, the sting traveling up to make his teeth chatter. He pulled his hands away from his eyes and saw that he had fallen to the ground of the Townhouse. Cassian quickly knelt in front of him, gripping his shoulders to keep him from total collapse. 

Azriel stared at Cassian and saw his lips moving rapidly, but no words came out. He furrowed his brows in confusion. What was he trying to tell him? 

In fact, Azriel heard no sound at all besides the buzzing silence in his ears and his own mind hurling insult after insult of his own sad excuse of being a mate. 

But wait…that was it. Cassian had turned to the others and Azriel was able to read the words on his lips as he spoke to the remaining Inner Circle in the room: She’s his mate.

All at once, too many voices spoke and the sounds came rushing back to Azriel. As if he would keep him from dissolving through the floor, he gripped onto his found brother for dear life.

“Cassian,” Azriel groaned, finding his voice at last. “Cassian, she’s gone. I can’t feel her.”

“We will get her back, brother. I promise.”

[deliriousgrl-writes]

Riding nate in his room after a football game would be insane

YES especially if he was in a bad mood 👀

secret//nate jacobs x fem reader

cw: emotional abuse, male anatomy described, female anatomy described, secret relationship, unprotected p in v, degradation, fem reader tries to top for the first time, riding nate because he’s sad or mad or whatever’s going on in his pretty head, he’s rlly mean tbh, doesn’t matter because you’re obsessed with him and he is with you

you knew better than to try and open your mouth right now. nate was silent as he drove down the dark streets of your town, his jaw clenched and his big hand gripping the steering wheel hard.

you were nate’s secret, you knew that, and it hurt more than ever tonight. you had been watching him in the bleachers during his game, the stands crowded and loud. your eyes were on him the whole time, number eighteen and his tall form a force on the manicured green grass. everything was going well, nate was one of the greatest assets on the high school football team, usually being the one who won the games. but tonight had turned out different, nate had seemed distracted before the game, though you weren’t able to speak with him before the game had started to try and find out why. you had saw something different in his brown eyes, his usual pride and confidence missing as he set foot on the field.

east highland was winning, and you were smiling and happy, cheering with the rest of your peers and everyone on the bleachers. everything was going as great as it always did when you watched nate play football, the scoreboard letting everyone know that the team was going to remain undefeated. your eyes focused on nate, watching as one of his teammates threw him the ball, but instead of running, nate’s tall form stayed put. you weren’t sure what was going on with him, or where his dark eyes were looking, but he froze. it happened so fast from where you were seated in real time, but as you sat, wondering why nate wasn’t running to go ahead and win the game, time seemed slower. your heart began to beat faster, your brows pinched together, and before you knew it someone on the other team was knocking nate’s tall body backwards on the field. your eyes widened, standing up on the metal bleachers, worry ringing through you. you wished more than anything that you could run over to him, wanting to be beside him but were forced to watch as his teammates, coach, referee, and medic crowded around him on the bright grass of the field. you couldn’t be with him, because nate wouldn’t want it, he wished to keep you far away in his day to day life. out of sight from everyone. his secret.

you were still stinging with worry as he finally got up, his coach and the ref holding his tall body up, nate’s face looking down at the ground like he didn’t want anyone to see him. they pulled him off the field, away from your view while you were forced to watch the rest of the game. his team won, but you didn’t care, just yearning to be wherever he was.

nate usually spent time with you after games, after he was paraded around with his teammates, accepting cheers and smiles. you knew where you needed to wait after games, somewhere in the dark and away from any prying eyes, where nate’s silver truck would pull up and you’d have to struggle to jump in. so you waited, watching as vehicles drove out of the parking lot, people leaving and the bright lights of the field shutting off. you wrapped your arms around yourself, wondering how long it would take him to finally show up, wondering if he was in pain or was being taken to the hospital or something.

but he finally showed up, and that’s why you found yourself in the uncomfortable silence as he drove you to his house. you wanted to say something, all the words on the tip of your tongue, but if you said them you figured nate would only get angry, taking all his frustration out on you instead of himself. he would probably accuse you of thinking he was weak or something, a retaliation due to his own insecurities. he’d been seeing you in secret for about seven months at that point and you’d learned enough about him to know how seriously he took himself, how much he beat himself up for being any less than the man he wanted himself to be. who he pretended to be. it was his ego and more than ever, watching his tense body drive in the dark, his ego was bruised.

once nate finally pulled up to his large family home, you jumped when he got out, him slamming the drivers side door of his big truck with force. you winced slightly, your body on high alert when instead of opening your door for you and helping you get out like he usually did, he quickly jogged up to his front door. when you finally worked up the courage to make it out of his truck and into his house, you slowly walked up the staircase, your eyes scanning around the jacob’s family portraits, younger versions of nate making your stomach twist. his bedroom door was closed and you slowly turned the knob, walking into his tidy space, the smell of his room a small comfort to you. the sound of the shower running could be heard from behind his bathroom door, and you went to sit down on his bed, your heart racing as you wondered what kind of mood he would be in once he was in your presence again.

you’d seen how angry nate could be, how much his face would change and how his deep voice sounded when he screamed. he had scared you more than once during the past seven months but you cared too much to walk away. finding yourself clinging to him no matter how fucked up the situation he put you in was. it felt as if you were helpless without him, nate made sure of it, making sure that you had no one close in your life but him. even your relationship with your family was strained now, spending any ounce of free time you had with nate, one of his main rules for you. and you did what he said everytime, everything he wished. after all, you just wanted him. only him.

your eyes darted to the bathroom door once he walked out, seeing his tall, lean muscular body in only some tight black boxers, watching as he moved around his dimly lit room. a lump was in your throat, his hands pulling out some clothes out of his wardrobe, his broad shoulders tense. you shifted nervously on his bed, his soft duvet under the exposed skin of your legs under your dress. nate liked when you wore feminine things like dresses and skirts, and you quickly changed your preferences to meet his, always wanting him to enjoy the way you looked even if you were uncomfortable.

he finally sat on the edge of the bed and your eyes stayed on him from where you sat near his pillows. you could hear his deep breathing, his slightly tanned, muscular upper body on display. the clothes he’d just dragged out of his wardrobe were piled beside him at the end of the bed but he made no move to put them on. your heart started to race as he put his head in his hands, him not making a sound but obviously showing signs of distress. “nate?” you whispered, anxiety in your limbs.

you could see him take a breath before he spoke, his deep voice low. “what?”

his reply was a bit muffled in his large hands still covering his face and you found yourself feeling bad for him. you knew that he was beating himself up because of the mishap at his game and you wished that he wouldn’t, your heart clenching in your chest. you let out a soft breath before moving on the bed behind him, your fingers a little shaky as you hesitantly placed them on his broad shoulders. his muscles tensed beneath your fingers and he pulled his hands down from his face, his elbows still resting on his thighs as he turned his head a little to look at you before you spoke. “are you-”

he cut you off before you could finish your sentence, his brows furrowing a little. “don’t even start,” he interrupted, his jaw clenching as he narrowed his dark eyes at you. it was as if he didn’t want you to try and comfort him at all, to just ignore how he was feeling and what had happened during his game. it made you upset, though you would never say so, not wanting to make him angry. you bit your lip as he turned away from you again, your hands still placed on his shoulders. you knew he didn’t wish to talk about how he felt but you also wanted to do anything you could to make him feel better. to ease his stress and try to turn him back into the nate you usually knew, the one who kept you hidden from his world but would also be the kindest, most doting boy you’d ever met. the boy who’d secretly left sweet notes in your locker, the boy who would pull you into dark corners in the high school you both attended to flirt with you and make you blush uncontrollably. of course nate could be rough during sex with you, but you didn’t mind, you liked it, one of the things nate made you realize about yourself. no matter how hard he would push you, no matter how rough, he would wrap you in his arms afterwards and praise you. kiss you all over and make you believe that he really saw you as all the good things he said he did. that you really were so good for him. so you decided to make him feel better the only way he would allow you to, taking the lead for the first time since he’d been sneaking around with you.

you closed your eyes for a second before you started, still feeling the lump in your throat and anticipating a bad reaction as you started to press your lips to his shoulders from behind. you did it over and over, gentle and soft, feeling his hot, freshly showered skin beneath your lips and smelling the delicious smell of his body wash in your nostrils. you rubbed your hands down his toned back, still pressing kisses to his skin. you finally felt him start to relax though he didn’t turn to look at you just yet, making you still feel weary as you continued. you were nervous to even be doing this, nate was always the one who initiated, always the one who kissed or touched you first, but you kept going, starting to feel yourself ache for him as you ran your hands over the muscles of his back.

you were on your knees behind him now, sitting up a bit as you leaned your head over beside his own, pressing your lips to his neck. you closed your eyes, your small fingers climbing up his back to his shoulders before traveling down to his collar bones. you were enjoying how warm and strong he felt beneath your fingertips, how heavenly he smelled as you slowly kissed the side of his neck all over. your eyes widened when he suddenly got up, making you fall back a little on his mattress, meeting his dark gaze as he peered down at you. you felt scared for a moment, wondering if his mood still hadn’t shifted from feeling your lips on his skin, but it quickly dissipated some as he leaned down and crawled over you. his strong arms were on either side of your head as he hovered over you smaller body, his face only inches from your own and you felt his hot minty breath over your skin. you didn’t wait for him to speak or move, you wanted to be the one who made him feel good, you wanted to make him feel all the things he was always making you feel. so you reach your hands up and cupped both his cheeks beneath your palms, pulling his head down a little as you finally crashed your lips onto his. nate reciprocated the kiss, thankfully for you, and you pulled him down lower, wrapping your arms around his neck to get closer. he pressed his body against you, his body heat making your stomach swirl and you could already feel how hard he was in his tight boxers, his tip poking into your leg. nate’s breathing was getting faster as you moved your lips over his, your fingers going to tangle in his damp, short hair.

nate was always making you feel high off him, the way his hands touched you or his lips tasted making your brain go fuzzy and your heart pound. you moaned into his mouth when he pressed his hardness into you, making him bring his hands down and grip your hips, pushing you hard against his bed. a fire was building inside of you as he dug his fingers through the soft material of your dress and into your hips, his mouth beginning to move a little more hungrily over your own.

you wanted him to forget about how the game went, forget about all the stress he was under, forget about anything but the way you felt in his hands and how your body craved his own. and it seemed to be working. he wrapped his strong arms around your waist and lifted your body up a bit, forcing you to sit in his lap, your thighs on either side of his hips. you could feel his cock pushing through his boxers against you, your dress concealing it but his hardness was pressed against your panties. it made your stomach burn and your body ache, knowing that he wanted you. you were still kissing him, your hands still in his hair as his own large hands ran up and down your sides. he pulled away, though his teeth caught your bottom lip, tugging it a bit before releasing it, making your breathing hitch. “what do you want?” he mumbled, his voice low and a bit breathless.

your face was already contorted into a needy expression, your head above his as his hands roamed over your body, his fingers squeezing a little as he gripped your ass through your dress. “to make y-you feel better,” you finally whined, his fingers digging into your bottom more. he nodded his head, looking up at you with his dark eyes, a sight that made you feel weak and like his prey.

“you wanna make me feel better? then let me use your tight fucking pussy,” he barked, moving his hand up to quickly grab a handful of your hair and tug your face down lower so that he was looking down at you. you whined, the painful sting of him pulling your hair versus how much pleasure you got from his cock still pressing up against your panties making you grow even wetter and achy. “say yes,” he commanded, narrowing his lustful gaze on you.

“yes,” you whined, nodding your head over and over. he pulled your face up to his again with your hair in his fingers, crashing his lips onto yours forcibly. his tongue traced between you lips, the taste of his toothpaste still on his wet tongue and making you whimper into his mouth. he released your hair, his hands moving to your hips and pulling you on top of his muscular body, his head hitting his pillows as he kept kissing you. you were straddling him, already lost in pleasure because of how intoxicating it felt to be wanted by him, a sensation you were always chasing it seemed. he pulled away, his breathing heavy as you stared down at him from above with wide, desperate eyes. he bucked his hips up, making you gasp in pleasure from feeling his clothed cock against your soaking core that rested in your panties still.

“you’re so fucking worked up already,” he taunted, “such a slut for me. already begging me to use your cunt.” his deep voice and degrading comments only made you ache more, already ready to start begging like he always made you. “i can feel how fucking soaked you are, even through my underwear. leaking all over my cock like a needy whore,” he smirked, shaking his head, “you like it, don’t you? letting me feel how much your pussy aches for me? i bet you want me to touch you right now and feel it? you want that, don’t you?”

you bit your lip, nodding and feeling him buck his hips up into you again, making you release your lip and moan. “don’t nod, say it. say, ‘i want you to feel how wet my pussy is for you.’ say it.”

he always made you say filthy things like this, but it turned you on so much. you really were needy for him, he could use you as he wished, however he saw fit and you wouldn’t complain. oh, how lost in him you really were. “i-i want you to feel… i want you to feel how wet m-my pussy is for y-you,” you stumbled out, your heat growing wetter as you said what he wanted you to say. he nodded, bringing his large hand up and cupping your cheek, his palm warm as he rubbed your face with his thumb.

“exactly. i know how much you want me,” he purred, his eyes peering into yours, “how much you want me to just fuck you until your fucking screaming. you know only i can make you feel that way right?” you nodded, actually agreeing with him. “now do what you said you’d do. make me feel better and take off your pretty little dress for me like a good slut.”

you immediately started ripping off your dress, so eager for him to touch your bare skin. you finally pulled it off your head, throwing it somewhere in his tidy room, leaving you in only your matching baby blue bra and panties. nate let out a breath, taking both his hands and starting to tease you with his fingers, tickling your skin as he started moving his fingertips up your thighs, over your hips and sides, before stopping as he got to your shoulders. your body twitched and squirmed on top of him as he did so, and you knew he enjoyed it. he liked teasing you until you were desperate for him, until you couldn’t take anymore. he smirked as he watched you shiver when he started pulling down your bra straps, his feather light touches making you squirm on top of his hard cock that pressed through his boxers.

nate pulled down your bra straps all the way, the cups of your bra releasing your breasts, your chest heaving, making them rise and fall, up and down as you stayed on top of him. “look at these tits,” he whispered, his deep voice still low, “your nipples are hard already. you want me to touch them, don’t you? yeah, i think that’d make me feel a lot better. you want me to feel better, right?”

“yes,” you whimpered, feeling his fingertips trace around them, the skin under your breasts and above them on your chest. you bit your lip, taking a breath when he finally started to fondle you. his big hands were warm on your skin, goosebumps raising all over your trembling body. the skin of his palms pressed against your sensitive nipples, making you let out a sharp gasp and choking you up. you looked down at him, his dark eyes directly on your face, an evil smirk on his lips.

“god you’re such a whore,” nate smirked, still keeping his voice quiet, “i can feel you getting wetter, you know? you like how my hands feel on these pretty tits, don’t you?” you nodded, already feeling overstimulated from his touch until he squeezed your breasts harder, his fingers dipping into your skin until it almost hurt. you let out a muffled cry, your voice choking from how worked up you were getting, from how turned on you already were. you’d do anything he said, let him touch you as he wished, tease you until he saw fit to give in. you let him be selfish, you knew that part of him would never change.

after his tight squeeze with his warm hands, he finally reach around your trembled form to unhook your bra, the blue material falling down over his abs beneath you. he grabbed it quickly and threw it somewhere in his clean room. “now,” he breathed out, almost rolling his eyes at you from how much you trembled and squirmed on top of him, knowing he could be rude to you right now because you didn’t care how he treated you in moments like this, because you secretly liked it, “you’re going to be a good girl for me and you’re going to take off those panties and you’re going to take my cock and ride me till i cum, okay? that would make me feel so much better.”

your needy face looked down at him, his fingers hooking into your cotton panties and teasing the skin on your hips, his eyes narrowing on you a bit and waiting for your submission. you’d never been on top of him before, never rode him. but he was asking you to, and he did say it’d make him feel better. you couldn’t help but whisper a soft, ‘okay’ and move off of his tall body for a moment, giving in despite your nerves. you slipped off the edge of his bed, standing there, feeling exposed with his gaze all over your body. you started to take your underwear off but he quickly stopped you as soon as you started, his voice sounding annoyed as he spoke. “turn around and let me see you bend over as you take them off,” his deep voice instructed you, a tinge of annoyance still evident in his tone, “go on.”

you bit your lip as you obeyed him, turning around and bending over slowly as you slipped your soaked blue panties off your body. they hit the ground and you stepped out of them, swallowing before you turned around. your heart started racing once you saw him, his own underwear off now and his thick, long cock in his hand. he rolled his brown eyes when you didn’t automatically step over and get back on the bed, annoyed that you just stood there and looked at his hardness. “do what i told you to do,” he sighed, his brows pinching together as he heard your soft rapid breaths, “i told you what would make me feel better, now do it.”

you nodded and crawled back on top of his tall, muscular body, the both of you now naked. you felt his cock from beneath you, your wetness resting on top of it and making your body heat up and your pussy ache painfully. his hands were digging into your hips, his nails painfully sticking into you as he waited impatiently. “stick it in you,” he gritted out, narrowing his eyes up at you again, “i know you don’t need any fucking time for foreplay. you’re practically dripping on my cock right now. so do what you want. you’re greedy like that, aren’t you? maybe you don’t even care how i feel or want me to feel better, maybe you just want to be a greedy slut and feel my cock inside you…”

“no,” you blurted out, blinking down at him as you shook your head, “i-i want you to feel better, nate. i want to do whatever you say that will help you right now.”

nate bit back a smirk at your words, looking up at the ceiling like he was trying not to laugh at you. he was cruel like that, but something about how his actions degraded you, only made you want him more. always wanting to please him. “okay,” he finally said, his dark eye boring into you, “then stop leaking all over me like a needy slut and actually take me.”

you quickly reach your hand down, lifting up on top of him a bit with your legs. your fingers wrapped around his large size and quickly pulled it up to your entrance, letting out a tiny moan when his tip hit your soaked entrance. he fingers dug into your hips more when you did, silently telling you to hurry and drop down on his cock. you shut your eyes as you lowered yourself on him finally, feeling him stretch you out, a loud whine leaving your lips as you finally took all of him.

“now bounce that pretty body up and down on my cock,” he instructed, or demanded, “make me ‘feel better.’” you started moving up and down on his length, the sensation new and pleasuring, the position making you love the way he looked up at you with his dark eyes, how his pupils dilated until his irises were almost black. his lips parted, pants leaving him as he kept his large hands on your hips and guided you up and down his cock. his deep voice let out a low groan, making you almost fall apart already, even if you’d just started. “you better not cum yet,” nate threatened, his words coming out breathy and dark, “i’ll be mad.”

you kept going, unable to stop the small whines and whimpers that left your mouth, his cock hitting your sweet spot everytime you lowered yourself back down on him. you shut your eyes tightly and he dug his nails into your hips again when you did, a silent reminder to keep them open and on him. you let out a choked whine, staring back down at him and trying not to cum, his chiseled features and heavy breaths from below you making you want to scream. “keep going,” he warned you, “don’t cum like a stupid slut already, you’re better than that. keep making me feel better, don’t be selfish.”

you would rather be damned than to not keep going for him, to not obey his breathy commands, so you kept up your movements on him. you kept yourself steady by bringing your small hands down to his heaving, broad chest, his black, hungry eyes boring into yours as you kept whining. you tried not to chase your own pleasure, trying to be keenly aware of how fast or slow you went, feeling when his legs would tense or when he’d groan so you knew you were making it about him. “fuuuck,” he groaned out, his eyes wide as he brought one of his large hands over your naked breast, squeezing as you continued to ride him, making sure to lift off of him and slam back down on his length, something that seemed to make his tall form tense and the muscles in his toned thighs twitch beneath. you were enjoying drawing these noises and reactions out of him, making him feel good, wanting him to praise you soon for doing good.

“you’re making me feel really good,” nate panted out, squeezing your hard nipple between his fingertips, earning a whine from you while keeping his other hand on your hip, “you wanna be good for me, don’t you? my little secret loves making me feel good.”

you moaned out a hitch pitched ‘yes,’ slamming yourself up and down his throbbing cock quicker. when he called you his ‘little secret’, it made you feel so dirty, but you couldn’t help but feel your stomach tighten from the expression. you loved being his secret, loved that he wanted you all to himself and the fact that no one knew who you belonged to, only him and you. you’d gotten used to lying for him quickly, and now, seven months later, being his secret was your favorite thing to be.

you felt yourself about to snap, biting your lower lip until you tasted copper as you tried to remain concentrated on him. it was hard, especially because he kept groaning and egging you on, knowing how hard it was for you not to cum when he spoke or made noises. nate knew your body and reactions well, and he used that knowledge to tease and taunt you, to wreck you completely during sex. it was his way, and you couldn’t do anything about it, which he reveled in.

“you’re squeezing me so tight,” nate choked out, “i can tell you’re about to cum. you better not, you’re doing this for me, remember? say it. say you won’t cum because you need me to fill you up first.”

nate’s demands and taunting sounded so dark coming from his deep, breathless voice. it was hard not to fall apart just from the sound, but you obeyed his command, your voice shaky and high pitched because of how much you were struggling not to come undone. “i won’t cum! i-i won’t! need y-you to fill me up first. please!”

nate let out a dark chuckle, grinning a sinful smile as he heard how close you were in your choked cry. “good girl,” he murmured, squeezing your hips with both his big hands, making you cry out as you felt how deep his nails were pressing into you, wondering if he’d leave bruises and struggling not to cum from the thought of him leaving his marks on you, “keep going. you’re lucky i’m about to fucking cum, gunna fill your tight cunt up real good. fuck- keep squeezing on my cock, i love feeling you about to fucking snap.”

“nate!” you whined out loudly, going as fast as you could on his length, his hard grip on your hips guiding you up and down and making you keep up your pace. he shook his head at you, denying your release, serious about you making him cum first. he was panting and groaning, his toned thighs tensing from beneath you, his grip on your hips never loosening.

finally, only a minute later, he was groaning even louder, his grip on your hips starting to slow your movements as he came inside you. you were practically screaming as you felt his length throb and twitch inside you, how his warm release was deep in you cunt. “there!” he growled out suddenly, his brows pinched together as his lips stayed parted as he breathed rapidly, “now you can fucking cum!”

that’s all it took, his permission making you twitch and moan uncontrollably on top of him as you finally found your release, even if your movements had stopped completely. you felt his cock start to soften inside you as he dug his nails into your hips still, knowing that simple action alone could draw out your orgasm further. your thighs shuddered around his hips as you finally started to come down, struggling to keep yourself upright on his body as you panted loudly in his quiet room. nate noticed, and despite liking the way you struggled, he wrapped his long, strong arms around you and lifted you off of him and down beside him on the bed. you closed your eyes as you tried to relax against his pillows, the muscles in your body beginning to grow tired as you finally came down fully.

he laughed at you darkly, something he often did when he saw how spent you were from him making you cum. nate pulled you closer to him as he laid on his side, pulling the soft duvet on his bed over you both to cover your bodies. “open your eyes,” he chuckled.

you fluttered your heavy eyes open and looked at him, the vicious smile still on his handsome face as he looked over your features. “thank you for being good for me,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and your cheek, making you relax even more, “you know that i do care about you, right?”

you nodded, wanting to believe him even if it was hard to decipher his true feelings. he nodded too, pressing a couple kisses to the side of your face, and wrapping you tighter in his arms. “so good for me,” he murmured against your skin, making a pink dust appear on your cheeks and your chest warm.

you never wanted this part to end.

[hoshifighting]

svt reaction to you (their cold wife) getting sick

seungcheol doesn't show it, but he’s visibly panicked. seeing you so weak completely throws him off. “baby,” his voice cracks a little as he sits beside you, his hand gently brushing through your hair. “you need to rest, okay? i can handle everything, just let me take care of you.” he’s trying so hard not to show how worried he is, but his hand lingers on your forehead, watching you carefully. if you don’t listen, you’ll see him holding back tears, his jaw clenched tight. “don’t make the same mistakes ive made, my love. please, just let me help.”

jeonghan isn't really the type to outwardly panic, but you can see the way his eyes soften with worry. it makes him feel helpless. he’ll gently nudge you, a hand on your cheek, as if to check if you’re really that sick. “hey, you know i hate seeing you like this, you’re always so strong... i want to help you, but you're pushing me away. let me make you feel better, okay?” he watches you, biting his lip, not knowing what to do. it’s uncharacteristic of him to show concern so openly, but for you? he can’t hide it.

joshua's the one who has to step up, not your mom, or a family memeber. he’s gentle with you, always asking if you need anything, his hands warm as he adjusts the blankets around you. “babe, you’re the most important thing to me right now. let me take care of you,” you can see the way his shoulders tense whenever you push him away, the way his hands hesitate to touch you.

junhui isn’t good at handling sickness, especially when it’s you. he’s always been so carefree and lighthearted, but this situation makes him realize just how much he cares for you, even if its just a flu. when you’re sick, he tries his best to be quiet, doing everything for you without a word of complaint. “don’t you dare try to get up,” he warns gently, helping you lie back down when you try to move. “i’m gonna make sure you’re okay. please don’t push me away, i can’t stand it.” he hates seeing you like this, and it makes him feel lost.

hoshi, even though he tries to hide it, seeing you sick, lying in bed, is throwing him off. “no, no, you can’t be sick!” he says, pacing around the room. he tries to keep the mood light, but you can see it in his eyes—he’s desperate to help you feel better. when he notices you’re still not listening to him, he softens, sitting beside you and gently holding your hand. “i’m scared.” he admits quietly. “come on, smile just a little bit for me, alright?” he’ll throw in dance moves, trying to make you giggle through your fever. but when he sees you barely responding, the laughter dies down, and he’ll sit beside you, rubbing your arm softly.

wonwoo doesn’t know how to comfort someone when they’re sick, but he tries his best, even if it’s awkward. he’ll sit beside you, his hands restless, not sure where to place them. “you should be resting,” he says softly, watching you closely as you try to power through. when you try to push him away, he gently grabs your wrist. “i know you don’t like being helpless, but it’s okay to let me take care of you. understand?”

woozi is the type to hide his emotions, but when you're sick, he can’t stop his worry from seeping through. he’s quiet, observing you with sad puppy eyes. “you’re not fooling anyone, you know?” he says gently, brushing your hair from your forehead. “you think i don’t see how bad you’re feeling? you have to rest.” he will show up with every remedy he can think of. sStop pretending you’re not sick.”

minghao’ll sit with you, his hand gently resting on your leg, offering you drinks and food without pushing too hard. “you need anything else?” he’ll ask. if you seem uncomfortable, he’ll adjust the pillows or pull the blanket up around you. “rest, okay? i know you’re tough, but you’re allowed to take a break with me.”

mingyu hates seeing you in such a vulnerable state, and it makes him feel like its actually HIS fault? “hey, don’t give me that look,” he says, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “you need to rest, alright? you’re always taking care of everyone else, let me take care of you this time.” he’ll be running around, grabbing medicine, making soup, doing anything he can. if you refuse to eat, he’ll do the “puppy eyes” thing, like please just do it for me. “y/n, you gotta eat something for me.” he’ll say, holding a spoon up like he’s feeding you a kid.

seokmin’s probably more emotional about it than anyone else, but he tries to hide it behind his warm, comforting words. “hey, hey, don’t try to be tough for me, okay?” he says softly, cupping your face in his hands. “i need you to get better. you’re always so strong, but now it’s my turn to take care of you. don’t shut me out.” he’s the type to almost act like everything’s fine to keep you from feeling bad, but when you’re not looking, you can tell he’s worrying “you need more water? how about some tea? i’ll make it extra special.” his attempts to cheer you up with bad jokes and soft, loving gestures will make you smile, even if you don’t feel like it.

seungkwan “no, no, no, no! not you too!” he says, pacing back and forth, clearly frantic. “you can’t be sick, that’s not allowed!” he’s trying to keep it together, but you can see the way his eyes keep flicking back to you. “you want soup? Iill make the best soup ever. i’ll make it famous!” he says, putting on an exaggerated show as he tries to make you laugh.

vernon knows you don’t like being weak, but he refuses to let you go through it alone. “stop, you’re not pushing me away this time,” he says in the most serious tone you ever heard him, while he applies vic on your back. you’ll catch him watching you when he thinks you’re asleep, his hand softly brushing through your hair, a faint frown on his face. his way of saying “i need you to be okay” without actually saying it out loud.

chan’s soft, tender heart breaks when he sees you sick, but he’ll try his hardest not to overwhelm you. he’ll bring you everything you need, checking in on you constantly. “you’re not fooling me, y/n,” he says gently, pressing a hand to your forehead. “i know you’re not feeling well. you always take care of me... why wouldn't you let me take care of you this time? isn't that what boyfriends were made for?”

[flwrstqr]

enhypen hyung line reaction when you start distancing them

pairings: cold bf!enhypen x fem!reader | genre: fluff, ot7 work, imagines, angst ish| wc: 700+ | warnings: not proofread | an: this is the cutest prompt ever?? also bye why did i write 10x more than i thought. i didn't write all ot7 so sorry anon for that TT, i wrote too much and i thought if i did ot7, it might be a bit overwhelming to read.. may be releasing a maknae line ver soon | LIBRARY FOR MORE... (maknae line)

이희승 (lhs)

heeseung and you were known for having a somewhat fragile relationship. it wasn’t exactly toxic, but there was a noticeable weakness in your bond. whenever you tried to be affectionate, clinging to heeseung's arm and giving him small kisses, he would soon brush you off, saying he had a call to take. as he left the room, you began to wonder if you were being too clingy or obsessed. after all, heeseung was someone you had liked for months. consumed by overthinking, you decided to avoid heeseung. during dinner, as you prepared the food, heeseung noticed your unusual silence. your mouth was shut tight, and you showed no expression. the only words you said to him were, "come, eat." dinner passed in silence, and now it was heeseung’s turn to overthink. did he do something wrong? was he too cold? after dinner, heeseung retreated to his room, sitting in his usual chair and staring at the ceiling, replaying every conversation he had with you. a pang of guilt struck him as his usually cold demeanor began to melt away. hearing you sobbing quietly in your room, he couldn’t ignore it any longer. he walked in and wrapped his arms around you, and you felt his presence beside you. for the first time, he had a small smile on his face. your eyes were swollen from crying, but he gently wiped your tears and apologized for anything he had done to hurt you . ($U#IOEFHKDLFJ:% im tweaking) in that moment, you realized that heeseung did have a soft side, one that he reserved just for you.

rest of members below the cut !

박종성 (pjy)

you always loved comfort in jay’s presence. your friends often teased you about being clingy, but you often brushed it passed you. one day, hidden behind a corner, you overheard him talking to jungwon. “she's so clingy,” jay said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. the words pierced through you, leaving a sting of hurt. From that moment, you distanced yourself, pulling back from jay’s side. jay felt the change, your silence during dinners, messages becoming more dry and sent on delivered, and how you were always in your room. jay realized his mistake. one day as the two of you quietly were walking home, you felt a pair of fingers intertwine with yours. you turn to find jay's hand sneakily touching yours and grasping it. your eyes widened as you see jay's cheeky smile. "i'm sorry." were the two words you hear first. you realize what he meant as you feel tears falling down, embracing him then and realizing how much he actually did love you.

심재윤 (sjy)

being clingy with jake had always felt normal to you until one night when he called you clingy, unintentionally hurting your feelings and creating distance between you. the word stung, leaving you with a broken heart. locking yourself in your room, you cried for hours. it wasn't until jake realized the impact of his words that things began to change. to make it up to you, he tried everything: apologies, letters, and even attempts to talk it out with you. then, one night, you found one of his letters in front of your door, reading each word through your tears. you realized he truly had a soft spot for you. at the end of the letter, it said, "i love you, so please don't be sad, my angel." how could you not fall in love with him all over again?

박성훈(psh)

the evening air is cool against your skin as you walk with sunghoon, his presence a comforting warmth beside you. but as you enter the restaurant, his remark about your clinginess sends a chill down your spine. you bite your lip as you realize what he meant. throughout dinner, the conversation feels forced, the laughter hollow. he realizes how your voice went more and more quiet through out each conversation. your silence speaking for itself. as you walk back, sunghoon stops under a street lamp, his expression softened by the gentle glow. his apology is hesitant, but his eyes speak volumes. "im sorry, i was being mean, i truly think you're a beautiful person."

[roanofarcc]

THE BLEEDING, BEATING HEART

pairing: yelena belova x reader (requested)

summary: yelena struggles to find her footing in a team dynamic after so many years of working alone, but when things get tough she has you to lean on.

warnings: self-doubt, sad yelena, a little bit of hurt with comfort! mentions of the OG avengers

word count. 1.2k || masterlist

It was early, too early to be awake, but your mind decided to wake long before your body was ready to take on the day. With a groan, you forced yourself out of bed and dragged yourself to the kitchen of the Watchtower, desperate for a mug of coffee. 

It was a rare day off for the team, as long as no major threats decided to sweep in, so you believed everyone to still be sleeping until you noticed a pot of coffee already made and at least two cups missing. 

No one was in the kitchen or the living room. Curious as to who was awake at such an early hour, you quietly made your way through the spots in the tower where anyone else could have been. Landing outside the training room, which was still half under construction, you heard repetitive grunts in time with hits on one of the punching bags. 

Stepping inside, holding the warm mug of coffee between your hands, you spotted Yelena. She was wide awake, dressed in her training gear, and a good while into her set. Her blonde hair was slicked back and sweat beaded her forehead. 

“Yelena,” you called out. She stopped, holding her balled fists at her chest. “This doesn’t look like taking a day off.” 

She rolled her eyes playfully. “I’m relaxing.” 

You raised your brows, stepping closer to her. “You seem awfully tense, actually.” It looked as if her whole body was pulled like a rubber band waiting to be snapped. You had noticed her odd behavior for the past week, but you had chalked it up to the shit-show that was the latest mission. 

As the ‘woman in the chair,’ you weren’t on site for their missions, but rather managing comms, taking down intel, and acting as their eyes from above if you were able to hack your way into a security system. Even without being on site, you knew the mission hadn’t gone as everyone had hoped. It was messy, dangerous, and almost resulted in major injuries if it hadn’t been for the team's watchful eye for one another. Despite the mission being completed and deemed a technical success, when they arrived home, you knew their mistakes and missteps weighed on them. You especially saw it in Yelena. 

Yelena huffed, dropping her hands at her sides before grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat from her face. “You know, I could ask you the same question. Why are you awake?” 

“Well, I thought it was because my mind refuses to shut off for too many hours, but now I’m thinking it was gut telling me to check up on you.” 

“I don’t need to be checked up on,” Yelena said, turning her back to you as she rummaged through her training bag for a water bottle. 

If it had been months prior, you would have let her be after that, but you had grown to know Yelena over your time spent living at the tower together. She was impossibly tough, but there was a softness that wasn’t often taken care of and overlooked by other herself and everyone else. But you saw it, a little weakness that made her human, much to her dismay. 

You placed a hand on her shoulder, half expecting her to shrug you off, but she didn’t. Instead, she turned around to face you and hung her head. “Fine,” she muttered. “I screwed up. I made a bad call during the mission, and I…I don’t know what I was thinking, but now I can’t think of anything else. Okay? Happy?” She fell back on the bench, and you followed, sitting beside her with enough space between you so as to not make her feel suffocated. 

“You’re not perfect, Yelena. No one is. You made a call that you thought was right, and it wasn’t,” you said. “It happens. It’ll probably happen again, but the important thing is you realized it and you corrected it.” 

“Yeah, but not before Walker took a bullet in the arm,” Yelena sighed, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. “They looked to me to take the call, and I…I let them down. I don’t know how to do this.” 

You furrowed your brows, watching her intently. “Do what?” 

She didn’t meet your gaze but rather kept her focus forward. “Work as a team. I’ve been on my own, doing missions on my own for so long. Reporting to someone else is one thing, but being the one others look at to make decisions is pressure I don’t know if I can handle. Why me? Why do they look to me?” 

Despite the hurt that her words drew, you smiled softly, itching to reach out for her but refraining. Yelena was a complicated person with an even more complicated past. You didn’t want to push her, even if you ached to hold her hand, hug her, even brush some loose strands of hair behind her ear. 

“Probably for the same reason the Avengers looked at your sister during the Blip.” 

Yelena snapped her attention onto you, startled and confused. You had been there during the Blip, when the disbanded team crawled back together. It was Nastasha who called you in, once having you aid in undercover missions when you were a fresh-faced S.H.I.E.L.D operative who had a hunch something darker was going on within the organization. You had been young, inexperienced in the world of super-powered humans, betrayal, and complicated politics, but you had helped regardless, getting yourself in a fair amount of trouble. You had been lying low when the Blip happened, only to find Nastasha at your front door asking you if you wanted to help save the universe. 

You couldn’t give much, but you had nothing else to lose or to do. You watched the Avengers and company bring everyone back, only to lose Natasha and others in the process. 

“Steve had said, even before then, that your sister was the heart of the Avengers. The bleeding, beating heart. I think you, Yelena, are so much like her.” You turned toward her, bumping your knees against hers. “You’re the heart of this team; that’s why they look to you.” 

Many emotions flickered across Yelena’s face, but she landed on a glossy-eyed gaze with her lips pointed downwards in a frown. “My sister was a hero. She helped save the universe. I could hardly lead the team through a standard intel removal.” 

“Everyone else seems to think you’re a hero.” 

She laughed humorlessly, looking up at the light like she was trying to prevent any tears from leaking out. “Because Valentina set us up so we wouldn’t kill her right there on the street.” 

“Fair, but that was after you guys saved Bob and the city. That sounds like a hero to me,” you said. “This team trusts you because they can see what I see. What the Avengers saw in your sister, they see it in you.”

Yelena’s head tipped down, a few tears falling with it. She grumbled under her breath and wiped her cheeks. “Shit. You cannot say things that make me cry this early.” 

With a hesitant hand, you softly squeezed Yelena’s knee. She stared at it for a moment before letting herself linger in her feelings a little longer. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around you, her head falling onto your shoulder. You hugged her back tightly. 

“Maybe you should start doing the pep talks before missions instead of Alexei,” Yelena mumbled into your shoulder, tired body heavy against yours. 

You snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, you try telling him that.”

[futurepastme]

Unmatched

[Soulmate Au]

Act.I: Merlin

Fate had a weird sense of humor, Merlin thought as he traced the name scrawled across his left rib.

When he was a boy, Merlin couldn't wait to meet his soulmate. He would trace the words of his soulmark with care, imagining what his soulmate would look like, what their favorite game would be and if they would like Merlin.

Then he learned how to read, and the figure he'd imagined before got more detailed. He would picture a boy like him, that would climb trees and play in the forest. They would get in trouble together and be the closest friends ever, even closer than him and Will were.

And then Merlin got to an age where he could understand the importance of his soulmate's name. What it really meant to have that name on his skin, how dangerous it was. Merlin finally understood why his mother looked sad when he spoke of his soulmate, and why he wasn't allowed to tell anyone what name was engraved on his skin.

Now, Merlin sat at his new cot inside Gaius' chambers. Tracing the name that once upon a time was the source of joy and curiosity, and that now brought him confusion, sadness and disappointment.

Arthur Pendragon, the prince of Camelot, was nothing like what Merlin had imagined, and everything he feared he would be.

How could the Fates have matched him with someone so arrogant, so selfish. Someone that would pray on the weak the way the Prince was doing with his servant earlier.

That night Merlin mourned what he would never have; someone that would accept him as he was, someone that he could be himself with, no secrets and no lies. He mourned the love he would never have, all those dreams he’d had as a child, and the promised future that would never be his.

He tried to focus, instead, on the one good thing about his first day at Camelot.

Even though Arthur was Merlin's soulmate, Merlin clearly wasn't his. The lack of recognition of Merlin's name in the prince’s eyes was enough to know.

That was one less thing to deal with, and he tried to find comfort in the idea that he could dislike the prince at a distance and not be forced to be with someone like him.

Then the dragon happened, and the witch.

And Merlin saved Arthur's life. Again, and again, and again. And Arthur saved his.

He learned that Arthur was so much more than the idiot he was on Merlin's first day.

Eventually, Merlin started to mourn the fact they weren't a match.

Soon enough, Merlin realized how much he loved his prince and he tried to find comfort on the idea of being his friend. If that's all he could be, then he would take it.

Yet, deep down, his heart longed for what would never be.

Despite being his servant for a while, Merlin never learned the name of Arthur's soulmate.

Arthur insisted on bathing by himself and when Merlin got back, he had his trousers on.

One day, against his better judgment, Merlin found himself asking about it.

“Don't worry, it's not your name.”

Merlin winced. “I didn't think it was.” Of course he didn't, he knew it wasn't him. But to have the actual confirmation hurt him in a way he wasn't expecting.

Arthur continued, not noticing Merlin's reaction. “Besides, I'm sure your match will be more than happy to show you their mark once you find them.”

This time, Arthur was looking at him, and noticed how Merlin's posture grew tense.

Merlin tried to focus on the polishing he was doing, planning on dropping the subject. But he could feel the hint of tears threatening to flood his eyes, that longing he always shoved down trying to resurface.

“Merlin?” Arthur said softly, noticing Merlin's mood. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” He muttered, pushing away the sadness that had overcome him.

“You know we're friends, right? I mean, I know I don't acknowledge it often, but surely…”

Merlin risked a glance, and the concern he saw in Arthur's eyes warmed his heart. He couldn't help being honest for once. “I'm not a match with my soulmate.” He said quickly before turning his attention back to his task.

What the hell was he doing, telling Arthur this?

Arthur felt the shock of Merlin’s words hit him, and he froze in place. “I'm sorry. I didn't know.”

Non-matched soulmates were rare, usually one could rest assured that no matter what name they had on their skin, their owner would have your name on theirs. But there were those rare, unfortunate ones who would have the name of someone with a different match.

The idea that Merlin of all people would have a non-matched soulmark was unthinkable. The Fates couldn't be so cruel to make the sweetest, kindest, bravest, most loyal person Arthur has ever known, a non-matched. Unthinkable.

And yet, Arthur kept his gaze sharp on Merlin's body language as the boy fought back his sadness. Very cruel, indeed.

“For what it's worth, Merlin, I think anyone would be very lucky to have you as a partner.

Soulmate or not.”

Arthur saw an hesitant smile hinting to show on Merlin's lips before the boy glanced at him again, “Thanks, Arthur, it means a lot.”

Merlin thought this would be the end of it, that Arthur would let the subject go and they wouldn't talk about it again.

It took a while, but the subject did resurface.

One night, after Uther tried to marry Arthur off to some princess that wasn't his soulmate, Prince Arthur brought the subject up again. Softly, as he was tucked away in bed, with his back turned away from Merlin.

“What's your soulmate like?” The question was so quiet that Merlin almost didn't hear it.

He thought for a while if he should answer it – how much he could answer – but the way Arthur asked the question, like a curious child that was afraid of saying something wrong, made Merlin open up once again.

“Brave,” he started, and as Merlin stared from Arthur's back, back into the fire, the words started to spill out as easily as breathing. “Kind, strong, annoying,” he laughed, “smart, and very, very beautiful.”

He waited a second before continuing:

“I didn't like them at the beginning, you know?” Merlin smiled fondly at the fire as he recalled those first days in Camelot. “I thought the Fates had made a mistake by making them my soulmate.”

His smile faded slowly, until it turned into a frown. “I was actually glad that we weren't a match.”

Merlin turned his gaze back to Arthur and found the prince glancing back at him from over his shoulder. Merlin smiled as he continued, “that didn't last very long, by the end of the week I changed my opinion about them, and within the month there was nothing I wouldn't have done for them.”

“You're friends, then?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah. We're good friends, I think.” Merlin looked back to the fire and tried to keep his gaze there.

He heard the shoveling of the sheets as Arthur turned around. “What did they say when you told them?”

“Told them what?”

“That they were your soulmate.”

Merlin looked back to the prince with a frown of confusion. “I didn't tell them anything.”

This time Arthur was the confused one, “why not?”

Merlin stared at Arthur's eyes intensely, he took in Arthur's position – tucked in under the sheets, with only his head poking out – and his displeased stare. He looked cute, like an angry child upset with a grown up that denied him candy for dinner.

He felt his heart drown in that familiar longing that by now was almost an old friend.

“I can't do that to them, Arthur. I can't put them in that position.”

Arthur raised himself into one arm, “but, Merlin, they might choose to be with you regardless of what's on their skin.”

“No.”

“Yes, Merlin. I already told you once, anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

“You don't get it.” Merlin stood up from his place in front of the fireplace, and made his way to kneel on the floor beside Arthur.

Their heads were close enough to see every emotion displayed. He hesitated for a second, wondering if he should go that far, if it was worth the risk. But Arthur was always worth the risk, and he made a point to keep his eyes locked on his as he said: “I love my soulmate Arthur.”

Those words seemed to open tightly closed gates and Merlin was suddenly overwhelmed by his feelings. He felt the tears fill his eyes and a sad smile form on his lips. He never said it out loud before. The fact that Arthur was the first one to hear it, was just right.

Arthur saw the wave of emotions shown on Merlin's face, and waited in silence until he had a chance to recover.

Merlin was grateful for the prince's patience, and once he had his bearings again, he looked straight into Arthur's eyes as he continued;

“I could never make them choose.” Merlin felt his breath caught in his lungs as the tears threatened to show up again. “They have their own soulmate, they have the chance to find their match. I can't be the reason why they don't.”

Arthur opened his mouth to say something but Merlin didn't let him. Instead, he said in a soft voice still looking at Arthur's eyes: “I just want them to be happy, Arthur.”

Merlin paused. Arthur gave him a surprised look that made him look like a sad puppy.

“If I have to watch ‘em be happy from a distance then that's what I'm going to do, all it matters to me is that they are happy.”

“They should still have the option, Merlin.” Arthur said softly.

“There is no option, Arthur. You have no idea” he smiled sadly at his phrasing, “how important this whole soulmate thing is for them.”

“You know how it is,” he continued, “we spend our whole lives tracing the name on our skin, imagining the face that will go with it, what it will be like when we meet them.”

Arthur nodded and Merlin couldn't face him anymore. “I can't have them feeling like I felt, and I can't have them feeling like they have some type of obligation towards me, because they don't.”

He looked back at Arthur with a firm gaze. “My soulmate has no obligations towards me just because I have their name. I know them. They have a good heart, a noble one. They would do what they thought was right regardless of their own feelings, and I don't want them to do that. Not about this.”

He softened his gaze and managed to put up a sad smile. “I love them, they are my soulmate and they are my friend, and that's enough.”

“It doesn't look like it’s enough, Merlin.” Arthur whispered softly. He hadn't turned his gaze away from Merlin the whole time he had been talking and he’d watched the emotions dance around Merlin's face every time he dared to look up.

His heart ached for his friend’s fate and he had the sudden urge to either hug the sadness out of him, or raid the whole of Camelot after Merlin's soulmate and order them to give him a chance.

He did neither.

“I won't lie and say that that's the dream,” Merlin said with a heavy sigh. “You know what the soulmate dream is.”

Merlin threw all caution to the wind – if there was any left at this point – and raised a hand to Arthur's shoulder, landing it softly against the prince's nightshirt. He once again brought his eyes to meet the Prince's, and held it there, letting his barriers down and allowing his eyes to clearly show his feelings.

“It's not in my fate to live the soulmate dream, Arthur. I'm not gonna say it's fair, that I wouldn't wish it to be different,” he paused as he felt the tears coming back and his heart getting tight. “And I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt, because it does. It does and it did, and in a way it always will hurt.”

He felt thick tears running down his cheek, but somehow he kept his eyes soft and managed a kind smile that showed a little bit of his teeth. “My fate is not with them, but I'm glad I can still be in their life as a friend. And even if it hurts, I'll be happy when they find their match.”

The fire cracked loudly through the silence that had settled between them. Merlin took the chance to run his sleeve across his eyes, and settled down back into the ground, pulling his face and body away from Arthur. The longer the silence stretched, the faster Merlin's heart would beat, second-guessing his decision of opening up to his Prince.

Arthur took his time, his sharp gaze never left Merlin, but studied his every movement while repeating the whole conversation in his head.

After what it felt like an eternity to Merlin, Arthur finally broke the silence with a heavy sigh. “As your friend,” he said, eyes still firm on Merlin's. “I have to say you're an idiot for not giving yourself a chance with them. You should tell them, and give you both a chance to at least try this possibility.”

Merlin hunched down, he felt his breathing stutter when he took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips tightly shut. He felt cold and breathless, and every heartbeat deafened him like they were warning bells resonating through his entire body.

“However,” Arthur continued, his hand itching to reach Merlin's chin and bring the boy’s blue eyes back to meet his own. “I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing.”

Merlin raised his gaze but let his head down, looking at Arthur through teared eyelashes.

“It's an impossible situation you find yourself in, Merlin. And while I don't believe you found the best outcome, I can see the nobility in it, and I can relate to it as well.”

Arthur gave a breathy hum, before continuing

“You know, I never really thought about you as the self-sacrificing idiot, but considering the amount of times you've made a stupid decision to try and save my life, I should've seen this coming.” He gave a side smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

Merlin huffed a laugh, it was half-hearted, but genuine enough, and Arthur felt satisfied when Merlin replied:

“I might be an idiot, but you'll always be a prat.”

“As long as that never changes.” He smiled, Merlin smiled back, and the thick atmosphere that had taken over Arthur's chambers dissipated just like that.

Merlin's eyes were still teared up, though they now shone with a small light that had dimmed down during their conversation before. This time, Arthur was the one to raise a hand to Merlin's shoulder, giving it a small squeeze that he hoped would comfort him somehow.

“Thank you, Merlin, for sharing so much with me. You didn't have to, and I appreciate your trust. Know that it has not been misplaced.”

“Prat.” Merlin's smile was genuine this time, and his eyes were soft again, though the usual light was still duller than normal, they shone brighter by the second.

Arthur nodded to himself and gave Merlin a last squeeze and a little shake, before pulling his hand away and dismissing him. “Go get some sleep, we have a long day tomorrow.”

Merlin nodded and collected himself, getting up off the floor and running his sleeve through his face one last time. He watched as Arthur lay back down on his pillow and couldn't resist the urge to tuck him in, fixing his covers where they had slipped down to his waist.

Arthur had the lost puppy eyes again, watching Merlin as he tucked him in. His body gave small goosebumps where Merlin's hand pressed when fixing the bedspread around him.

With a last pat on the cover, Merlin turned around and headed to the door.

“Good night, Arthur,” he muttered before closing the door.

“Good night, Merlin,” Arthur whispered softly to the empty room.

That night, Merlin slept like a log. The emotional exhaustion he felt in the past hours knocked him dead the moment his body hit his bed. He would have to process his feelings properly at some point but not today, today he slept and let the night wash his worries away.

That night, Arthur couldn't sleep. He kept replaying this night's discoveries in his head. Tossing and turning around in bed, he couldn't seem to relax. His hand would reach down to his inner thigh and trace the name he knew was there, like it had millions of times before, but this time the feeling that came with it wasn't reassuring nor hopeful. Not when his mind was filled with Merlin's sad eyes and teary face.

And as the phantom touch of Merlin's hands still warmed him, for the first time, Arthur prayed. To the new gods and the old ones, to the universe itself and to the Fates that decided men's destinies. He prayed for his friend's happiness and future. And most of all, he prayed and wished with all his heart that he could somehow find a way to help Merlin's heartache.

He hoped that the morning would bless him with the answer.

End of Act.I [Act.II]

Gods, I miss writing. My new job is sucking out my soul and I barely have time for existing anymore, but I did have this lost in my drafts and since I miss posting I decided to muster up the strength to finish this one up. I did copy and paste without editing, though, so I'm sorry for any mistakes and weird formatting.

Sorry it ends up like that, teehee, but had I posted the draft you would be hanging mid-dialog so I consider this a win, for me, that is.

Thank you for lending me your time, I hope you enjoyed it 💜

The good news is I do know where I'm going with this and I'll try to write more this next week. The bad news is I have no idea when I'll finish it or if I'll be able to write at all next week, but we'll see.

Happy ending is a promise, but we'll have more angst first. And hurt Merlin.

Keep warm, drink water and remember to take your medicine if you have one.

Ps: (and this is me being hopeful) I really don't know if or when I'm posting more so if anybody wants to be tagged when I do, please lmk

[with-my-calamitous-love]

pieces of us both under every city light

katsuki bakugou x reader

katsuki follows all-might’s footsteps and studies abroad in america, leaving you in the winter night alone. long distance angst/comfort, for the yail series 🫧

have a warm winter 5sos nation ❄️ inspired by beside you

within a minute, he was all packed up, his ticket to another world tucked in his pockets, your scarf around his neck.

he doesn't wanna go.

but lord knows how much this trip has costed him. 8 months ago, he would have left without question. he'd have trusted his apartment to eijirou, taken a taxi to the airport and left. but now, things are different. someone is different.

"do you have everything?" your voice cuts through the silence. katsuki turns around, committing all your details to memory as if its the last time. it'll be the last time for a few months, after all.

"yeah, yeah, mom." he huffs, showing you all his suitcases. he's being a dick because he's sad- you know him well enough to read between his lines.

he walks up to you, hands on your waist and forehead against yours. his cologne wafts to your face, while his eyes land on the black fabric of your t-shirt. well, its his t-shirt, but what's his is yours, too.

"text me as soon as you land." you say, hands on his chest. "and don't be such an asshole. people there have your attitude, as well."

he laughs, a small smile curving on his lips while his arms rub your sides up and down. "yeah? everyone's like me? maybe i'll like it then."

"i highly doubt that." you smile.

theres a moment of silence that washes over both of you. silent words are hard to speak, especially when you're all he sees. you make him weak. you're the one thing that can shut him up. and he loves you for it.

"you gonna be okay here?" he asks for maybe the 30th time. your name hasn't been added to the lease, but in his mind, you've moved in. your laundry mixes with his. your beg him for cats that can share the bed with you, even when he religiously says no. he cooks and you wash the dishes. all the things that count are there.

"i'll be fine, kats." you say. i'll miss you. i'll wear your hoodies every night.

you hold back.

"i know, i know you'll be" he says. i miss you more than i want to admit. i don't ever wanna leave you, not even for some trip.

words he doesn't say.

"don't burn my apartment down." he adds. "and don't order in every night just cause i'm not here to cook."

"my cooking isn't that bad, katsuki." you say. "i burned your coffee like, once."

"how the hell do you burn coffee?" he scoffs. "only you could manage that, dumbass."

"yeah yeah, i love you."

"i love you, too."

you're both delaying the inevitable. the banter keeps up, even on the drive to the airport. for a moment, things seem normal, like just some trip to the groceries or to pick up your medication. normal, mundane things that katsuki made feel like 5-star dates. anything can be romantic if its with the right person.

finally, its time to say goodbye. you help him with his luggage, taking in the ambience of the airport. love is felt most when its leaving. even if its for a moment.

"its 2 months." you sigh, more for you than for him.

"i'll miss you, smartass." he says, with zero traces of anything superficial. he prays you don't see his red eyes. he's holding back tears.

you don't notice the tears, because you're too focused on holding back your own. "i'll miss you more."

so with one final kiss and hug, he leaves. so close, yet so far away.

✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚

1 month in.

winter hits hard, snow blazing down, blanketing the streets in cold, ivory petals. winter takes everything down with it, frosting over and obscuring any traces of fall, spring, or autumn. but for all its coldness, there's an undeniable tenderness. everyone stayed in during winter, so you wouldn't look out of place for staying in your bed, wrapped up in clothes that smell like katsuki.

the apartment just didn't feel right without him. there's the obvious things- hanging only your clothes to dry, cooking dinner for one and washing one plate, letting the apartment fall silent. katsuki never liked silence. and though you never minded it before him, you keep the radio on- its what he would want.

you sleep alone. and more than anything, you want your heart to come home. but that can't happen so long as he's miles away from you.

you've told yourself not to call. at first, you two spent everyday on the phone. then maybe once or twice a week. now, katsuki's missed just one of your calls, and now you can't bring yourself to answer his. you don't want to hear his voice and know he's somewhere you can't see him.

the cold seeps in from your fingertips and into your bones. all your stimulus, dreams, and love, frosted over by the winter chill. maybe it froze your tears- you were tired of crying, anyway.

your homesick for arms that won't be home for another month. he never leaves your mind, not even when theres a million things to be done. you have to take out the trash. theres dishes in the sink you haven't touched in a few days. you need to shovel, but thats something katsuki would usually do.

either the heater's broken or katsuki's presence decided to really, really make itself known tonight. either way, you curl up in bed, debating on whether or not to call him. texts work, too. though its hard to type with your fingertips shaking.

you miss him dearly. you wish the winter wind would finally give in, bringing him back to you. you're underneath the same sky, finding solace underneath the same sun. this isn't forever. he will be home. yet, you still wish you could rewind. you wonder if he can hear you, hear your longing.

shaky, cold fingers type out a single message, first. then another. then another.

y/n: i miss you

y/n: ik i've said it like a million times i sound like a broken record

y/n: and i've told u im doing okay but i'm not

y/n: i really fucking miss you kats

y/n: im so tired of sleeping alone, i just wish u could come home right now. and i feel bad for saying that cuz ik you're having fun and i love that for you. i just miss you and i can't help it.

y/n: i'm tryna find the words to say but i dont know

y/n: i just wish i was beside you.

that familiar, blurry feeling takes over your eyes. a few minutes pass before he sees your messages. he doesn't respond as the tears finally fill your eyes.

you turn off your phone, place it on the bedside, and close your eyes.

exactly 5 seconds later, your phone rings.

its almost pathetic how fast you pick up, pressing it to your ear, not caring how cold it feels due to the air around you.

you don't say anything at first. you can't.

"...you don't think i miss you too?"

you almost scoff. "yes, i mean, no, i mean.. sorry." you stutter.

you hear him sigh, that shake in his throat you know all too well. even when you can't see him, he's trying not to cry.

like your hearts beat at the same time, he knows how you feel. because he's feeling the same, sinking down onto the couch of his air-bnb. he's had a shitty day, running into american fans whose obsession with japan is almost a little funny. he's worked hard, training and being better, but its not the same when you're not waiting for him at home.

his heart wants to come home.

"i wish i was beside you." his voice cracks. "god, more than anything, y/n. its like i see you everywhere, but you aren't actually here. its pissing me off."

"oh yeah?" you laugh. god, what he would give to hear that in person.

"yeah, idiot. i saw some stray cats chasing around a damn rat and thought of you." he recalls.

"yeah, i don't know if i miss you as much if you think i'm comparable to stray cats." you disagree, shaking your head. he may say stupid things, but you're just happy its his voice.

"not what i meant, smartass." he scoffs. "i meant... it made me think how you always wanted cats. we should get some, when i get back."

its that promise you linger on. when he gets back.

"yeah... we should." you smile, sniffling back some tears.

the fact that you're crying doesn't go unnoticed by him, mostly 'cause he's crying, too.

theres pieces of you both, under every city light, whether thats in the states or in japan. either way, he feels you, and you feel him. for now, he can survive on the wishing- on the photos of you on his phone, on your scarf around his neck, on the fingerprints left on his heart. all until he can be beside you again.

"its late there." he says, though he can't bring himself to end the call. you bite your lip, hoping he doesn't.

he sighs, closing his eyes after looking at the photo of you in his wallet. "do you want me to stay on the li-"

"yes." you cut him off. you can hear him smile.

it'll work until he can hold you again, until he's beside you again.

[orimuraa]

‧₊˚ 愛┊I got to give you all my love - Park Jongseong ↳ ┊: free love - honne

꒰ 𝔖𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 ꒱┆jay has always been your main source of comfort, never ever failing to prove it either ⨾

۶ৎ boyfriend!jay x fem!reader┆angst, comfort┆a couple kisses, cursing, crying, reader having a tough time┆wc 627

⤷ 𝐲𝐞𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: happy jay day! he has brought me so much comfort in his words and i can’t express how much he makes me laugh. i’ve been going through a tough time so this was very comforting to write 🤍 i hope you all like it!

꒰ঌ ℬℴℴ𝓀𝓈𝒽ℯ𝓁𝒻 ໒꒱

it was a busy time for you. work was stressful, your sister was getting married, yada yada yada. it was all so stressful.

at first, you tried to handle it well, gas-lighting yourself into thinking that you were fine and that you were just being weak and dramatic.

but then, the symptoms started to show. you were having trouble with the basic needs in life such as: eating meals, getting enough sleep, letting yourself relax for a bit, etc. you were taking on too much work than your body could handle and you weren't sure how much more you could take.

jay was starting to notice your lack of energy, realizing that something was off. he knew that this was a very busy time for you and that you had much to do, but he wasn't aware it was this bad until it became this bad.

"princess? are you alright?" jay had just gotten home when he heard the sound of muffled cries coming from your shared bedroom. slipping off his shoes and placing his bag down, he quickly walked to find you, worried that something had happened.

when he reached your bedroom, he found you curled up on the bed, wrapped in the comforter with tears streaming down your face. your eyes were puffy and red but to him, you still looked like the most gorgeous woman in the world.

but that didn't his heart from aching at the sight of you. he gently knelt down beside the bed, softly pushing a piece of your hair back and out of your face.

"baby...what's going on?" he asks sympathetically, his eyes brows knitting together as he studies your tearful eyes.

"jongie...it's everything," you hiccup, the frown on your lips dipping lower. "i..i can't do this anymore. it's been so difficult jongie." you cry, looking up at him with fresh tears. if jay had to say what the most heart-wrenching moment in his life was, he would describe this moment.

"oh doll...please, talk to me. let me help you, please?" he begs, not being able to stand how awfully sad you are in the moment.

"it's work...it's my sister's wedding, it's everything!" you sobbed, letting jay come onto the bed and wrap his body around you to keep you safe from it all. all the grief, all the stress, all the sorrow, all of it.

"i haven't eaten properly in days, i can't remember the last time i told my boss i couldn't handle the work load, and i'm just so fucking tired."

jay felt so awful that he hadn't noticed any of this earlier, that he didn't pick up on the signs earlier. the way you always went to bed way later than him, only to wake up before he did, the way he never saw you eating anything, and especially the way you were so drained after work everyday.

"baby, i'm so sorry..i can't even imagine how exhausted you are and i can't believe i didn't see the signs earlier. god, i'm so sorry princess," he quavered, tracing shapes on your waist as he spoke.

"jong, it's not your fault. please don't beat yourself up for it, okay? it was my fault for letting it get this bad...and it's my job to heal and recover better than ever," you say softly, not wanting your pain to spread to your boyfriend.

jay didn't say anything. he just smiled softly at you before kissing your lips, trying his best to make up for his mistakes.

"then we heal together, okay?" he says against your lips, encasing them in another kiss.

"i love you jay, i don't know how i could ever express how grateful i am for you. thank you for everything," you whisper, closing your eyes that begged for sleep.

"always baby, you deserve all of my love, always. now, get some sleep, m'kay? i'll be right here when you wake," he reassures, tucking you into the covers and pulling you close to his chest.

jay never failed to prove that he was your comfort person. ever.

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: @en-diaries, @k-films, @k-nets

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ 𝐉𝐢𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip, @jomisu, @nxzz-skz, @ancnymcnzjy, @hyukabean, @annybah, @ijustwannareadstuff20, @chaeneu, @17ericas, @firstclassjaylee, @riribelle, @right-person-wrong-time, @cheruphic, @woniefication, @melodiessvy

[sknyuz]

Hiii pookie!!♡♡ Do a Park Humin (Baku) ff where the reader wass playing shooting game on her phone and loses, throwing tantrums or curses over it and blaming it to Baku who is just minding his own business next to you. Like they ended up bickering.......... After that, the reader got upset and ignored Baku, him ended up comforting and making up for it even if it's wasn't his fault. I feel like it'll be a chaotic scene 💀💀✌

pairing — park humin (baku) x gn!reader genre — fluff, comedy, established relationship warnings — mild language, excessive boyfriend whining, baku being baku word count — ~400

masterlist | join the taglist | request a fic

note: finally some good guys™ on here !! i am such a lovey dovey baku truther he would be so whipped and be super lovely to his partner. i love doing shorter reqs like this to fill in the gap between my longer fics.

you were sprawled across the couch, laser-focused on your phone screen, muttering threats under your breath as your in-game ammo count dropped lower and lower.

“die, die, die—” defeat. the bright red letters flashed mockingly.

“NOOOOO!” you shrieked, smacking the couch cushion and flailing your legs. “i had that! i had that!”

baku, sitting beside you eating chips and watching a basketball highlight video, turned to you with wide eyes. “yo, what happened??”

“your fault!” you groaned, flopping sideways and lightly punching his shoulder.

“HUH?!” he yelped, holding the chip bag protectively as it shook in his grasp. “what’d i do?! i was just sitting here breathing, peacefully!”

“exactly,” you grumbled. “you jinxed me with your stupid happy breathing.”

he blinked. “what’s wrong with my breathing?! it’s normal human breathing!!”

“normal and cursed,” you muttered, pouting as you hugged your phone to your chest like a child whose toy was just taken away. “i swear that last headshot didn’t even count.”

baku opened his mouth to argue but paused when he saw the full-blown pout forming on your lips. he immediately softened. “...wait. you’re mad mad?”

you sniffed dramatically and turned away. “go breathe over there. traitor.”

he panicked. “hey—wait, don’t ignore me. babe. baby. i love you. please.”

you didn’t answer, which made him whine louder.

“noooo, don’t do this to me. don’t ice me out,” he said, scooting closer and wrapping his arms around you like an octopus. “i’ll uninstall the game for you. i’ll email the devs and tell them to apologize. i’ll 1v1 whoever killed you. right now.” baku pouts, brows furrowing.

you resisted laughing. “you don’t even play this game.”

“i will now. out of spite.”

he tucked his chin over your shoulder and started swaying you gently, like he was trying to soothe a toddler mid-meltdown. “aigoo... my baby’s upset. i can feel the sadness radiating from your pores. it’s okay. blame me, hit me, kick me—just don’t ignore me. please!” he whines, all in theatrics.

you tried to hold back a smile, but it slipped.

“there it is,” he coos with a grin. “my cute, scary little sharpshooter.”

“you’re so annoying,” you muttered, leaning into his chest despite everything.

he kissed the top of your head. “but you absolutely love it.”

you sighed. “…if i lose again, it’s still your fault.”

“fair.”

“and you owe me boba.”

“make it two,” he grinned, already grabbing his hoodie. “let’s go right now. no game defeat can hold us down when we got boba and love.”

“...you’re such a dork.”

“but i’m your dork,” he quips again, flashing you a peace sign and poking his cheek with it, showing off his dumb little smile.

𐔌 . ⋮ taglist .ᐟ weak hero class ֹ ₊ ꒱ @kstrucknet | @loserlvrss @nanamiswifesatorusgf @hateateez @slytherinshua @winnie-bunnie @rexxiiia @mrgzzarella @ilyhachii @youmeshii @actuallynarii @midnight--raine @d4ily-s-nsh1ne @trasshy-artist @crowneve @juicyjam @xh01bri @onyourlisa345 @triciawritesstuff @prettywhenicry4 @dripoftheseus @rosieparkk @gacktsa @sopitadearvejas @satorustorm @d4ily_s-nshine @mirwors (ask to be tagged or removed)

[tarotlexa]

PICK A PILE READING- your male version!

don't ask me why i thought about this reading because i couldn't really give you an explanation besides the fact that i was over caffeinated. <3

the idea behind this is that most of you are women and one day i randomly thought: what would i have been like if i were born a man? what would his vibes be? idk! why not make it a tarot reading? so here we are.

as always, this is a collective reading so take what resonates and leave what does not my luv. <3

.　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　.

.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*

　　　　　⠀　　　　⠀　　,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　⠀.　

　　˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,　　　　　　.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　　*⠀　　⠀  　　　　　⠀✦⠀　

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　.　　　　.　　　⠀

　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　˚　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.

　.⠀　　⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀,

　　　*　　⠀.

　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　⠀✦

　˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*

.⠀ 　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　    　　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　.

.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*

　　　　　⠀　　　　⠀　　,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　⠀.　

　　˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,　　　　　　.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　　*⠀　　⠀  　　　　　⠀✦⠀　

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　.　　　　.　　　

　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　˚　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.

　.⠀　⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀,

　　　　　✦⠀　   　　　,

pile 1: you know one of those boys that some tumblr girls simply crave? poetic, melancholic, distant, soft but untouchable. very fought over but he simply wouldn't care LMAOOO a literal heartbreaker, a manwhore without even acting on it since he's a yearner. think will graham (i know i know), he would probably have curly hair too since most girls love it. he's constantly torn between his idealistic romantic self and his abandonment issues. probably writes poetry no one reads, very guarded by reason and intellect. definitely popular but unaware of it lol

vibes: as i said before, will graham!! nick nelson (heartstopper), charlie from heartstopper too, will byers, the main character from perks of being a wallflower (forgot his name), timothee chalamet in a sad boy role, tom hansen from 500 days of summer, robert pattinson

pile 2: anxious king, holds everything together but crumbling inside, big no one takes care of me energy. just wants to be held, but only if you ask nicely. a serious, ambitious man who overthinks EVERYTHING to the point of getting anxious over made up scenarios. holds too tightly to people or routines, definitely very patrick batemanesque. he might look very put together but he’s secretly scared of crumbling. he has a fear of being judged and letting go. probably has a 10 step skincare routine.

vibes: zuko from avatar, patrick bateman ofc, batman/bruce wayne, jeremy allen white in the bear, adam driver too because why not.

pile 3: "in tarot we don't say sugar daddy, we say king of pentacles", a brilliant and reliable man who has a flair for spending money on whatever he wants to. probably a bit of a player too. he knows he's hot shit (in a bretman rock way), his mind is sharp and crystal clear and his power is in knowing when to act and when to pause. he smells expensive and always knows how to get the bag, also a proud rolex collection owner. definitely into vintage cars too. somewhat obnoxious. fears vulnerability or being perceived as weak.

vibes: ned stark from game of thrones, steve harrington from stranger things, any of those wannabe heroes in any other tv show or movie, maybe carlisle from twilight too. idk not many names are coming up to me atm.

thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed this random unhingedness. <3

[smiley-positivity-potato]

The average person will always have worth, regardless of their gender. And today proved that for me, once again. Today I went to my crochet group and we all talked about things that have happened this week. Finally, once we went around the room telling our days, we got to a man sitting beside me. And his heart was hurting.

He had relatives equating his worth as a man to being only “a provider”. He was being constantly belittled by everyone but his partner for having mental issues, disorders and an unstable job history. They didn’t care how they made him feel because he is a man. And I just got something to say.

You are not less of a man for struggling. Whether it be financially or with home stability or mental/physical issues, you will always be the man you say and believe are. You are one that’s growing, unless you decide not to be one day. AND THAT IS OKAY! It okay for a cisgender or trans man to struggle, to feel hurt inside and to feel scared of their future.

You were born not just a man BUT A HUMAN BEING! And you EXISTING DOES NOT JUST EQUATE TO YOUR GENDER! These traditional values are not for you to uphold! You are still a man, regardless of what anyone says. And you are ENOUGH!!

You are not a loser, a bitch, a disappointment or ANYTHING! You are ALIVE!! And that is so much important than those words others spit at you. YOUR WORTH IS SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT THEY SAY!! It IS!!

I’ve went through this with my first girlfriend who was emotionally abusive. We had went to middle school and high school together, but once I became more disabled after we met again: I wasn’t man enough because I was disabled. It hurt. But it also enraged me. I stood my ground as I told her she was rude AND wrong, but soon I began to wonder what a man is.

They are soft and firm and strong and weak. They are loud and quiet when need be. They are emotional and distant. They are all sides of different coins, just like anyone else. And them trying in this world, whether cis, trans or intersex, IS ENOUGH!

If no one has told you this, I will. You’re doing A GREAT JOB! You are VALID IN FEELING BEAT DOWN, HURT OR SAD OR SCARED! You ARE VALID IN WANTING TO SET BOUNDARIES AND HAVE RESPECT BE GIVEN! YOU DESERVE TO HAVE PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU, AND SEE NOT JUST A MAN, BUT A PERSON WITH CHARACTER AND A LIFE AND GOALS AND WANTS AND DREAMS!

Don’t believe or entertain the idea you’re not man enough. There’s no such thing. That whole concept was made to beat you down. Whether cis or trans or intersex, do not believe this narrative. It is meant to confuse you, hurt you, demean you and to make you think very little of yourself.

Here, right now, I need you to know you matter and you’ll meet people who don’t just sum you up as a failure. You’ll meet people who love you for you. And it will be wonderful. You’ll feel light as air! And that’s what you deserve.

I’m so sorry the world has made you question yourself for your gender. I’m so so sorry people weigh you against other men to try to show you that you’re worthless to them. I’m so so sorry people think you’re not enough.

But please know you are enough and you’re a wonderful man that deserves encouragement, support and genuine care. You are.

[luvsferrariss]

˚⟡˖ ࣪. ʚ 💌 ɞ of shadows and sins - OO1

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ Synopsis: Y/n was handpicked by their boss to help the recruiter find new players. However, it was obvious that the man wouldn’t like the girl assisting him, constantly belittling her and mentioning how weak and unqualified she was for the job. But in reality, he knew about her influence and was afraid of being replaced.

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ The Salesman x Female Reader (British)

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ Warnings: Typical Squid Game elements—blood, weapons, death, etc. Age gap: the reader is between 24-25 years old, while the recruiter is 40. Some angst and feelings of loneliness. The reader lives in Korea but is not Korean; she is British.

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ Author’s Note: Hi loves! I’m making a short series about the salesman. I hope you all like it! English isn’t my first language, so there may be mistakes—sorry about that!

next part here ! 🤍

You sighed as you watched your coworker fail once again. The man he was trying to talk to didn’t care at all and walked right past him. You just sighed, rolled your eyes, and crossed your arms, leaning against the metro wall near the stairs.

The recruiter began walking in your direction with his chin held high, a proud—or perhaps wounded—expression on his face, and you laughed at his frustration.

“What happened, Mr. ‘I-can-do-everything’?” you teased. He simply walked past you, heading up the station stairs.

“Shut up,” he muttered, and you chuckled, following behind.

“Did you manage to do anything at all?” he asked as soon as he noticed you catching up on the stairs.

“While you wasted time talking to one man, I got four. All of them on the verge of bankruptcy—desperation was almost funny, I nearly felt bad for them.” You stuffed your hands into the pockets of your beige trench coat. “With their financial struggles and my pretty face, did you really think they wouldn’t accept?” You smirked, stopping in front of him and framing your face with your hands as if showing off.

He simply walked past you, bumping your shoulder.

“You’re so full of yourself, seriously… What’s even fun about your game? No one actually likes Gonggi that much,” he scoffed.

You just shrugged. “That’s what I was told to do. And your job isn’t that exciting either, right? At least mine is getting results. Yours, on the other hand…” You glanced up at the sky as you stepped out of the train station—it was already nighttime.

“Can you shut up for a single minute? I already have to deal with you all the time. For the love of—just stop talking, girl,” he snapped.

You simply looked at him, already used to his sudden outbursts.

“Oh, baby, don’t be sad. Tomorrow will be your day, and you’ll manage to recruit some people. Besides, aren’t you the boss’s impeccable, invaluable favorite recruiter?” You pouted playfully, stopping in front of him again, this time by your car. You cupped his face in your hands, only for him to push them away and roll his eyes.

“I’m not arguing with a brat… Why don’t you just go back to your family?” he said, setting his black suitcase down and rubbing his chin. “Oh, right. I forgot. You don’t have anyone because no one can stand you. Your parents abandoned you, and your fiancé cheated on you…”

He spoke slowly, and when his gaze met yours, he noticed a brief flicker of vulnerability—but you quickly masked it with a smile.

He almost felt bad for you. Almost. But he didn’t regret saying it, and he would do it again if necessary.

“Whatever. Family is just a burden. I don’t need anyone, and I can live just fine on my own. Besides, maybe you should be worried, huh? The boss would never have sent me to you if he didn’t think you needed help. Maybe he realized just how useless you are.” You winked and got into your car.

As you started the engine and rolled down the window, the man remained standing there, lost in his thoughts, trapped by your words.

“Hey, baby, don’t walk around alone at night. This area is dangerous,” you teased before driving off.

He simply clenched his jaw, a growing resentment bubbling inside him.

He saw you as a threat. You would never take his place.

( . . . )

When you arrived at your apartment, you tossed your keys onto the table and hung your coat in the closet. You placed your shoes inside as well before closing the door.

With a sigh, you headed straight to the bathroom, undressed, and stepped into the hot shower—you really needed this. The water cascaded down your body, relaxing you, and a tired sigh escaped your lips.

Your mother and father would never have been proud of the person you became, but that was their fault. They were the ones who raised you the “right” way. Any mistake was met with punishment.

You became cold, sarcastic, and quiet around others. But no one ever really knew you. No one saw the pain, the fear, or the scars you carried from a disturbing childhood.

You had a slight fear of showing emotions or affection to anyone. There was only one person you had ever felt comfortable with, but even they betrayed you. So now, you truly had no one.

That day in the alley changed your life—but you still wondered if it was for better or worse. Everything felt strange. You felt strange.

Some days, your emotions felt numb. Other days, you just wanted to break down and cry with someone. But everyone you had trusted either betrayed you or left you traumatized. You would never trust anyone again.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you turned off the shower and wrapped yourself in a towel, drying your hair with another. You went to your room, grabbed some pajamas from your closet, and got dressed. After brushing and drying your hair, you applied some perfume and walked into the kitchen to make some tea.

One of the perks of living alone and having no friends was that you could use the guest room however you wanted—so you turned it into a library.

Once your tea was ready, you grabbed a book and headed to the balcony of your penthouse. The cold air brushed against your skin, but somehow, it didn’t bother you.

[blastoqueen]

Sunrise.

Chapter 6

Rating: Teen and Up

Relationships: Noa x Mae (Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes)

Content warnings: None

Comments: English is not my first language. This is my last chapter before going back to Med School :(

“How are Noa… and you?” Anaya asked, a little scared to make the female angry or uncomfortable, he knew it was a sensible topic and that the more-than-just-a-friendship thing between them was long time dead.

“Fine” Soona said “He is my friend… like you”

The curiosity was killing Anaya, so he pushed the limits a little bit.

“I know you… were… too close” the male avoided eye contact.

His friend just stood there, not making any movements or showing any emotions.

“Can I be… honest with you, Anaya?”

“Yes! Of course”

Soona inhaled.

“I hoped Noa would see me as… something more… than just his friend” even though her words were sad, her face only showed serenity “He took me… to see the world… once we were… free from Proximus. However… I knew he didn’t… love me that much”

“Oh no, no, no, no, Soona” the male said, he reached to his friend and hugged her tight “He loves you… very much. I do too”

The smaller ape laughed a little, hugging her friend back. When they let go, she continued.

“But you know… what I mean” Anaya looked at the floor, feeling sad for her “And then Mae came back… I didn’t… trust her. And when she… left again I begged… Noa to let her go. He didn’t, but I learned to… forgive. Mae is good and she… is my friend”

He wanted to tell her about the night Mae and Noa were out to see the lighting dancers, but he promised not to tell anyone, so he stayed silent. All he could do was take Soona’s hand in his and act like a true friend.

-----------

“Is this another secret spot you wanted to show me?” Mae said. She and the ape were doing a light climbing in a destroyed three-story building covered in leaves.

“No. I want to teach you how to be strong” Noa said, grabbing a branch and pushing himself up.

“I am strong” Mae said, panting.

“When you came to the village you were a twig”

“Sorry for being held captive in a quarantine bunker”

“No excuses”

They were only halfway through when Mae stopped, hugging a big branch with both arms, closing her eyes and exhaling.

“Mae?” the male came closer to the human, hanging only from one arm and feet.

He put his other hand on top of Mae´s head, gently caressing her hair.

“What is wrong?”

“I just… need a minute”

“I´m bringing you to the village”

“No! No, I can. I just need to rest a little bit”

“Mae”

“I can do it”

The Echo reached another branch, but quickly slipped, Noa held her by the waist, while all her limbs hung loose.

The ape took her to the ground and Mae sat immediately.

“Sorry, but the sun and the height…”

“It's okey”

“Tomorrow we can try again”

“Sure”

Noa was a little devastated, he felt anger at himself. He wanted to pretend Mae was the same as him, or maybe that she could be like him, but they were so different in many aspects. He used to think maybe she was weak even among her own, but he had seen her killed Trevathan…

Maybe it was time to accept the reality. They were different.

Why was he trying to make them both seem equal?

“So that it wouldn’t be so weird to have these feelings”

“Let´s go to the village. And then you… can teach me how to read” Noa said.

Mae looked up and made a strange face, the ape was taken back at that.

“I… no”

No?

“Oh. I just thought… you could teach me some things from your… people” he felt shy, embarrassed, suddenly, his hands became awkward.

“I can´t teach you more things” Mae murmured “Sorry”

“Is that… forbidden?”

“For me, yeah, it is”

“For you?” Noa sat besides her “Is someone forbidding you?”

“No, Noa. I am forbidding myself… from teaching you”

He was getting more confused every time, maybe the girl was really tired…

Right when he was about to offer they return to the village, the Echo spoke.

“I can´t teach the apes. It´s dangerous”

“What?”

Mae refused to look him in the eyes.

“I can not believe you” Noa sighed, he got up and stared at the human “Dangerous? Why would it be dangerous?”

“It is, Noa!” Mae said exasperated, she stood up and almost fall back, Noa resisted the urge to catch her “You are already… evolving. Remember what Proximus said? Those weapons in the bunker would have help the apes to evolve and we don´t want that! Weapons and guns are not the only way your kind can evolve, Noa, knowledge can do that too”

“So you will not share it. Because you are scared that we become… better than you humans. Is that so, Mae?”

“Yes” her face showed security.

Noa walked towards the human and stood in front of her. They were almost the same heigh, both pair of eyes watching each other intensely.

“You are so fake” the ape chuckle “Every time I think you had change… you just prove me wrong. You pretend and lie and steal. Are all humans… like you, Mae? Or are you just a rotten apple among them?”

“Shut up! You stupid animal!” Mae yelled furious, pushing the ape with both hands, only moving him a little.

“How does it feel, Mae? Watching me… evolve”

“You will never know how it feels to be completely human” the human started to cry, tears rolling down her cheeks, anger in her eyes.

“I don’t want to be human” Noa said “And I don’t need you to help me... evolve. I fixed the electric spear… without help and without you, remember?”

“Your time is over, Noa. I delivered the key, got that? The book that could make humans speak again. It´s only a matter of time before the humans reunite and be strong again, it will be our planet again”

“The things with us, princess, is that we don’t claim the planet. We… live here, but it is not ours!”

“You wouldn’t understand”

“No? Am I too dumb, Mae?”

“You didn’t see the world with us in it”

“And you did? How old are you, Mae? Because… I am sure that you never saw the world… either”

“You are being too... cruel” Noa could see the pain in her eyes, the puffy face and red cheeks. The tiredness.

Did he cross the line?

“Let´s go to the village” Noa said, lowering his voice but keeping the cold tone in it.

“I´ll go by myself. I know were it is” Mae started to walk when the ape grabbed her arm. Why did he keep doing that?

“No. We are going together”

“After all that… what makes you think I want your company?”

“I don’t care if you want it or not. I am not… leaving you”

“Whatever” she said with disdain, pushing him away from her.

They started walking putting some distance between them. The ape could hear Mae´s sobs.

Were they going to be able to forgive each other for the words said today?

"Would I ever forgive myself for making her cry?"