#avril lavigne sucks

[i-like-gay-books]

for the sake of transparency i feel the need to disclose that ive been watching glee again and it is phenomenal

[edge-oftheworld]

no this is so true and this fandom, at least part of it, is steeped in gen z urban conservatism: the kind we see here (no kink at pride, no threesomes allowed if you’re 19 in 2015 to sum it up), but also things like moral purity culture (don’t ever be seen to be around people who ever said or did something controversial or wrong). and we can’t stop them if they decide to market themselves in a ‘family friendly’ image and put themselves through this

but remembering their pop punk roots especially it still makes me sad. remembering how much they all love green day. and they’ve got so much personality and passion when it comes out and it’s not censored to be seen as appropriate and if there’s one thing we can do as a fandom is show that we support that. show younger members of the fandom that most censoring is done out of fear. but it doesn’t have to be necessary, so please don’t enforce it. we’re gonna be happier when we can all be ourselves and that goes for us and it goes for the artists we listen to as well and some of us have been coerced into masking it from a young age but we can show each other it’s safe to let that go and start healing. and we can carry that attitude to the way we treat our favourite musicians too who are also human and capable of having this problem and wanting to please people too.

maybe i’m an over-analytical freak, but the way 5sos have to constantly sanitize their sex jokes or language makes me fucking shrivel into myself. last night on ashton’s live, he was talking about how he couldn’t “say anything inappropriate” as if he isn’t a 29 year old man. and this is like a silly example, but they say things like this all the time. idk whose fault this is, whether it be the toxic twt fanbase constantly infantalizing them and making them relive their adolescence or if their management genuinely believes they’re more marketable as “family friendly,” but it is so fucking icky. they should be allowed to say and act like themselves on their livestreams. idk. like ??? they’re funny !!!

[littlecornerinbrooklyn]

the interview with Margaret Atwood on the Offline podcast is incredible, because she's so smart and incisive and is just saying her piece regardless of the dumb softball questions favreau usually gets away with

[beefboyandbabygirl]

Pup Code (18+)

(SEQUEL TO GIRL CODE. Y/N IS NOT THE SAME PERSON)

pairing: college!mingyu x college!reader

genre: college au, smut (MDNI), fluff, crack

description: mingyu doesn't have crushes. he likes avril lavigne and sometimes he fucks pretty girls. but you seem to stir something in him that no one else can. without the trusty girl code, mingyu makes his own code to help you fall in love with him.

warnings: kindddaaa bad writing tihi, service top!mingyu, dom!mingyu, sub!reader ish, size kink (reader is mentioned several times to be smaller than mingyu and several key interactions are based on this fact), oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex (dont do it guys...), praise (f. receiving), slight possessiveness?, mingu is soooo in love with y/n, he just wants to make her cum forever :( hes a total dork

quotes from my creative director (@joshibambi): "fuck realistic portrayals of sex with men. im very content with getting exposed to this", "men like this DONT exist",

wordcount: 5.7k

a/n: im back and i think ive regained my ability to write. thank u 2 @ryusha-rose for the amazing name for this fic, it ended up becoming a bigger part of the plot, so thank u sm to them tihihihi

This could not be happening.

Forever boring and bland, his friends had opted out of the party, and Mingyu stayed behind alone. Or not alone. He almost wished he were alone, because almost any company (even none!) was better than sitting across from the two idiots before him.

“Truth or dare, Mingyu!” Josh laughed smugly, and Jeonghan held his hand over his mouth, leaning into him. “Ohhhh, truth or dare!” 

Mingyu had been down this road before. There was no winning in this scenario, Josh and Jeonghan always attempting to pry embarrassing information from him. 

The party had settled down into a low hum. Most people were going home, either humping against another anonymous body as they stumbled out, or walking alone, jacket slung over their arm. There was no reason to stay, really, and torture himself with this circle of hell. Except, of course, for you.

“I don’t wanna do the chicken dance again, so I’m gonna go with truth,” Mingyu pursed his lips, determined to not act a fool in front of you.

He’d always been vaguely aware of you, but tonight had been his first time really sitting down with you. Contrary to your two best friends, you were cool and charming, and you didn’t seem like you wanted to embarrass him. This was already gaining you Mingyu-points, but he was absolutely taken aback by your humor and your smile and he, giddily, found himself liking you. 

Mingyu didn’t usually like people - not like he had always liked Avril Lavigne (there was a poster commemorating that crush in his dorm room) - so this felt big. He was nervous, hands clammy as they slid down his jeans. 

“Tell us about your first time,” Joshua asked innocently, mischief given away by how the older man cackled and slapped his arm. You watched in amusement, eyes flickering over to him, lashes coming over them in long, black lengths. He struggled to breathe when you held his eyes, so he sucked in a breath and looked at the floor, blushing. Damn it, he was already making a fool of himself.

“That’s so rude, Josh!” you said and threw a random chip at him. It hit him on the cheek and he groaned, face scrunching up in disgust. “Ask him something nicer.” 

“You’re so boring, Y/n.” 

Mingyu looked at you gratefully and you returned a warm smile to him.

“Yuck!” Jeonghan quacked from his seat between you and Josh. “You guys get a room! I can’t believe I let this stupid kids’ game take away from my boning.” 

“You’re so gross!” you groaned. 

“Josh was gonna hook me up with this girl from his class, dude,” Jeonghan continued complaining, forever going on about his ‘sexual conquests’. “Now I’m sitting with you dorks and you won’t even let us bully Mingyu.”

“Mingyu’s nice, you guys are just assholes,” you said, gesturing towards Mingyu with your beer. Mingyu was horrified.

Now was the time. Now was the moment to return the compliment; to say anything that might flatter you and defend you from the crooks that you apparently spent your time with. 

Now, this was a bit embarrassing for Mingyu. He had recently been adopted by a female friend group - some might even call him one of the girls, but alas! - so one would think he knew all about girls and how to approach them. The truth was, Mingyu was clueless. Beyond his daydreams of Avril Lavigne, and a few casual flings here and there, he had never actually been put in this situation. 

Mingyu thought about his girl-friends, thought about their advice and their critiques, and he knew. He knew it would frankly disappoint them if he came to them with no expertise, nothing learned from the countless girls’ nights. Therefore, he had to take matters into his own hands. 

“T-Thanks,” Mingu stuttered, lisping across the word. “Y-You’re also great.” 

Fuck, he was an idiot. 

You grinned at him and the sight of your beautiful smile, your shining skin and your gently falling hair was almost enough for him to miss how Josh and Jeonghan were lifting themselves off the floor in disgusted groans. 

“Alright, time to go. Shoo now, back to your dorms. Peasants.”  _____________________________

Mingyu didn’t need his girl-friends. 

He repeated this in his head for days, like a spiritual mantra, and maybe, he hoped, maybe he would start believing it. You and him had one mutual class and he counted down the days before he could swoop in and talk to you casually, flirtatiously, and seductively. 

With the absence of the very helpful girl code (it had certainly helped his friend, Jihoon, with his crush!) Mingyu discovered and consulted a new code. Mingyu code. 

He spent his days diligently writing down his own best advice. Some rules were more helpful than others.

“Mingyu code rule 3: always wash your hands after a shower,” he hummed to himself with a small, satisfied smile, while scrubbing his hands in the steamed up bathroom. 

“Mingyu code rule 12: go on bike rides frequently for a better jawline!” he panted, hunched over his bike, and pedalling through the nearby park in the beating sun. 

Now, Mingyu was mumbling all of his new-found rules to himself, books pressed into his chest, while he approached you in class. It was the middle of the day, and the class hadn’t started yet, people still filing in from the halls. Thankfully, you were sitting alone on your phone, both Jeonghan and Joshua nowhere to be seen. The universe was working with him.

But he was still sweaty and nervous and breathing unevenly when he finally reached you. Remember the code, he reminded himself, remember to be cool and calm.

“Hey...” he whispered, and then, louder: “Hey.” 

You looked up from your phone, smiling brightly when you saw him. For such a huge man, you realized he could look quite small. 

“Hey, Mingyu!” you said cheerfully, settling your phone down on the table before you. He shuffled to sit down next to you, jacket rustling against the wood. Your seat was near the back, so the hall felt great and wide, and a little bit like an audience to his fumbling. 

Rule 14, he remembered sneakily, always wear a jacket, so girls (Y/n) will marvel at your muscles when you take it off! 

Mingyu moved to take off his jacket, eyeing you as he did so, in what he certainly thought was a sultry and sexy look. You blinked back up at him, smiling.

Oh shit. 

Something was caught on- on something! Stuck with the jacket halfway down his arm, Mingyu began struggling and writhing in it, warmth spreading across his cheeks. You smiled at him fondly, biting back a chuckle. 

“Do you need help?” you asked. “No- No, I got it, uh-”

You moved to help anyway, tugging a corner of the jacket off the design of the chair, and he stared at you widely, because you were suddenly so close to him and so cool and calm and pretty, and your fingers danced along his skin. He breathed out a heavy sigh when it finally slid off his arms, furrowing his brows in embarrassment.

“You’re clumsy, huh?” you teased, settling back in your seat and Mingyu chuckled dryly. 

“You don’t know the half of it,” he murmured, and to his delight and surprise, you laughed. You had a loud laugh. It ripped itself from your throat and bounced off the walls of the classroom. He smiled proudly at how your face contorted in joy. 

“You’re funny, Gyu,” you said, stilling finally and he swore his heart galloped in his chest at the nickname. You were so pretty and so sweet, and he wanted to hug you so bad. He grinned, then looked around the room.

“Where are Joshua and Jeonghan?” 

“God knows,” you snorted. “I think they’re poisoning the water supply of some third world country, but I could be wrong.” 

It was Mingyu’s turn to laugh, and how couldn’t he? Because you were so smart and so gorgeous, and he truly didn’t understand how he was smitten by you so fast. There was something humbling about spending all his freetime scrolling through Instagram photos and giggling when you smiled prettily at the camera. 

Next step in Mingyu code was a little tip he’d borrowed from the countless renditions and repeats of the “Jihoon story”; a heartfelt confession.

Wait a minute. Was he skipping a few steps? Surely- Oh yeah, he definitely was. He couldn’t help but want to skip to cuddling, but going from step one to seven was maybe a bit of a stretch. Jogging his brain for his ultimate “confession for Y/n” gameplan, Mingyu didn’t even notice the lull in the conversation, while he stared at you with furrowed brows and a pout.

“So, uh,” you began awkwardly, and Mingyu finally snapped out of his daze. Shit, he was being a dork again. “You coming to the party on Friday?” 

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’ll be there. Jus’.. Love partying.”

There was no salvaging this.

“Alright,” you giggled, confused, and finally turned your eyes to the board when the professor began speaking.

Friday, he thought, gulping down the shame. Friday I make some serious moves. _____________________________

Mingyu was not making serious moves. In fact, he wasn’t making any moves at all.

He’d never felt more strange, standing on the edge of the dancefloor and bending his knees awkwardly to the rhythm of the music. His limbs were mile long stretches and they swung uselessly around him. He looked almost lost, but, of course, it was only Soonyoung’s house. 

“You okay, man?” Wonwoo, his roommate, padded up beside him, eyeing him warily through the lens of his glasses. “Are you on something?” 

“No, I’m not on something!” Mingyu huffed, stopping his frankly pathetic dance moves and looking directly at the man before him. “I just… You know that girl Josh and Jeonghan are always hanging out with?” 

Wonwoo nodded.

“I kind of.. Really.. Like her.”

“What?!” Wonwoo exclaimed, completely forgoing his drink to look at Mingyu in bewilderment. “You haven’t liked anyone since Avril Lavigne!” 

“I know! But this girl’s just really smart and cool and funny,” Mingyu smiled shyly, eyeing you where you sat with Josh and Jeonghan, as well as two girls he didn’t recognize  - oh, wait, no, Jeonghan and one of the girls were leaving together. Just you, Josh and the blonde then. Wait, no, now Josh was leaving with the blonde. Just you.

Wonwoo saw how Mingyu’s eyes brightened with opportunity and he smiled beneath the rim of his plastic cup.

“Wait! Wonwoo! You can wingman me!” Mingyu exclaimed suddenly, hoping the older man’s presence might ease the interaction. 

“What? No!” Wonwoo grimaced.

“Why not?”

“You don’t deserve my services, Mingyu! Not after what you did to me!” 

“We’ve talked about this, the Jihoon-story is a very sweet thing and you should be happy to have been a part of it-” 

“I’m talking about the other time. Or the other-other time!”

Mingyu slumped, a pout on his pink lips. Wonwoo softened, but stayed steadfast nonetheless.

“Listen, just go talk to her. I have a girl waiting for me upstairs, I just wanted to see if you were okay,” the older man said softly, patting his shoulder while a drink was clutched in his other hand, liquid dancing against the cup-walls when he wafted his hand.

“I would be more okay if you wing-manned me-” 

“Alright, that’s enough,” Wonwoo murmured, walking away towards the stairs. Mingyu sighed and looked over at you. You were chewing your lip, face lit by the screen of your phone. 

“Mingyu code rule 17: Confidence is key. Confidence is sexy,” Mingyu reminded himself, squeezing his eyes shut and beginning to walk over to you. “You’re hot, Mingyu. You have big muscles and a pretty face.”

Mingyu could’ve almost convinced himself, but when he opened his eyes, legs mindlessly padding closer to you, you were so pretty and so intoxicating, he faltered completely. 

“H-Hi,” he stammered, brows immediately pulling up in disdain at himself. You looked up and smiled immediately, face shining bright. “Hi, Gyu! Come sit down with me!” 

He nodded dumbly, and squeezed in beside you. His muscly arms were pressed into himself and leaning on his thighs, and he tried to compose his features into something sexy and sultry, when he turned to look at you. You smiled in a sort of knowing way that had Mingyu dropping his face immediately. 

“You enjoying the party?” he rasped, turning to look out at the crowd. You pursed your lips and looked at it with him. “Not sure. It’s kind of boring and Josh and Jeonghan just left.” 

“Yeah, I saw,” he sighed, then widened his eyes. Oh God, he thought, what if you thought he was a total creep - a creepster - staring at you from across the room all creepily. “Not that I- I wasn’t- I just saw it, like, casually across the roo-” 

“Mingyu, do you want to take me out on a date?” 

Huh?

“Huh?” 

Mingyu didn’t know if he was hearing that right. The words had come so naturally and so casually from your mouth, and now you were staring at him with furrowed brows and pursed lips, and waiting expectantly for him to answer. 

“Do you want to take me out on a date?” you repeated, shrugging your shoulders, as if it were just the weather. Mingyu stared at you with whole, wide eyes, and swallowed hard. Clammy hands gripped his knees.

“Yeah,” he breathed, laughing awkwardly. His mouth was so dry and his heartbeat was almost painful in his chest, although the tensions were eased when smiled sympathetically. “I mean- if you want to-” 

“I want to go on a date with you too, Mingyu,” you reassured, smiling even wider when his lips mimicked your own. 

“Oh my God, okay, so, I was thinking Olive Garden-” Mingyu giggled, and his pure expression of joy was infectious, genuinely making your heart soar, as this huge, muscly man bounced on the couch cushions. He cut himself off halfway, narrowing his eyes. “Wait, wait, how did you know?” 

“How did I know what?” you frowned.

“That I like you?” 

Your immediate reaction was to snort. This only confused Mingyu further, so you elected to respond truthfully: “Mingyu, you always look at me so longingly, seriously-”

“That- those were sexy faces!” he pouted. 

“No, they were longing and tender. Like pull-apart meat. And then sometimes you do the- the Zoolander face-” 

“I’ve never done the Zoolander face in my life!” 

“And all your moves are so obvious, Gyu,” you watched how he slumped at those comments, a little, pitiful pout on his lips, all deflated like a puppy. You reached a hand over to caress his arm, warm and hard with muscle under your fingertips. Mingyu immediately leaned into your touch, pout being replaced with a small goofy smile. “It was very endearing, though. You’re very cute.” 

“I was going for sexy,” Mingyu said, mood lifted at your compliment, but still a little pouty.

“Then go sexy on our date,” you squeezed his bicep in your hand and he perked up. “Now that you know I like you too.” 

Hearing those words, that admission, Mingyu smiled to himself. 

Mingyu Code; he truly was genius. _____________________________

“So no Olive Garden?” you quipped, standing outside of a more upscale restaurant - candlelit and warm and Italian. Mingyu shook his head. He’d thought Olive Garden would woo any girl, but after triumphantly boasting to his girl-friends (mothers), that he’d gotten a date with a girl he liked, he’d been nothing but scolded by the restaurant choice (“A girl wants to feel pampered! Olive Garden is for post-6-month-relationships!” Yeri had squawked). 

“Not until in six months,” Mingyu said, shrugging when you lifted a brow in question. Cars were bustling past where you were standing on the sidewalk. Grass sprouted from the cracks in the cement and people idled past where the two of you were facing each other, your head craning up to his. “Wanna go inside?” he asked.

Mingyu had become more at ease, following your admission. You liked him too, he tried to remember, whenever the butterflies batting around his curving ribcage became too much. And it was becoming too much now, with how your lips spread in a smile and you nodded at him.

You walked in, hand in hand. The tables were fine, polished wood and there was a slightly-stained, white tablecloth draped over the rounded surface of the table. Sneakily, Mingyu nudged some salt and pepper shakers over the yellow splotches on the fabric, hoping you wouldn’t notice, and that you’d feel pampered. You were busy looking at the menu. 

Mingyu asked about everything - not because of Girl Code or Mingyu Code or whatever other bullshit way to woo a woman. No, he asked because he was sincerely and utterly interested in you, what made you you, what habits you got from your childhood, what made you choose your major, how you knew Josh and Jeonghan. You were so beautiful in the light of the restaurant, but more importantly, you were the most infatuating individual Mingyu had ever laid his eyes on. Maybe even more so than Avril Lavigne. 

You got to talking about Mingyu Code. 

“Well, it was because of my friends. They have Girl Code, right?” 

“Yeah, that’s God’s rules,” you hummed, sipping on a soda. 

“Mhm, and my friend followed Girl Code and he got with this girl he really liked.” 

“Mhm.” 

“But I decided to make Mingyu Code. Which is about being sexy and charming.” 

“You were none of those things,” you teased, but Mingyu had gained confidence and he leaned back in his seat with a smirk, stretching out his arms, as if gesturing to the restaurant. 

“Well, I beg to differ. You’re here now, aren’t you?” 

“I suppose I am,” you smiled, admitting defeat. “Although I don’t think you were following Mingyu Code.” 

“Yes, I was, I made it. I’m the founder of that shit,” Mingyu grimaced.

“Well, if Mingyu Code is about being sexy, then you definitely accidentally followed some other code.”

“Wha-”

“Puppy code. You’re like a big, clumsy puppy. Yeah,” you nodded to yourself, satisfied with your new name for Mingyu’s terrible, horrible guide to wooing you. “Pup Code.” 

“Why does everyone call me that?” Mingyu whined, crossing his arms and pouting. Your plates were empty and streaks of cream sauce sludged up the sides of the porcelain. 

“You give off major himbo vibes,” you said.

“I’m smart, though,” Mingyu huffed. You smiled fondly at his bratty expression. 

“I know you are.” 

Mingyu caught your eye and caught the sincerity in them, and it made his whole body ache and flutter. You liked him too, it was clear and not something Mingyu had to tell himself, it was right there, right behind your retina, twinkling at him. 

“Do you wanna..?” Mingyu trailed off, pointing his thumb to the door. You pursed your lips.

“What if I wanna take it slow?” You asked, and it was almost adorable how Mingyu’s eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently and seriously. 

“That’s okay! We can- we can totally do that,” he said decidedly, as if it weren’t a bother at all (because it wasn’t). 

“Okay,” you nodded, letting go of your now finished drink. “But if I want you to take me to your room right now and fuck me?”

Mingyu whipped his head to yours, the way a door bursts open. You saw him swallow, throat dry and heavy, and biting his lip.

“That- That would be okay, too,” Mingyu said shakily, blushing furiously. Images flashed his mind of you in less-than-sacred scenarios, and he squeezed his eyes shut to ward them away. 

“Okay, then let’s go,” you shrugged nonchalantly. 

“To my room?” He almost couldn’t believe it.

“Yes.” 

“Okay, fuck, let me just pay.”

Mingyu didn’t think he’d ever paid and left a restaurant so fast, and he was enamored with you enough to completely skip the step where he contemplated whether or not the staff secretly hated him. You and him walked hand in hand, as he practically dragged you through the street back to the dorms, his long legs working faster and more efficiently than your own. You half wanted to complain at the brutal pace, but you couldn’t lie. You needed him just as much as he needed you. And he knew that too. 

Thankfully the restaurant wasn’t too far from the dorms, and Mingyu had frantically texted Wonwoo to “get out or he’d be squirted with semen” (a threat that Wonwoo didn’t need to hear twice!), so after ten minutes and some sore legs on your part, Mingyu and you scrambled into his room.

Mingyu liked the privacy, you realized, because it wasn’t until the door was closed, and you both were sealed away in the Mingyu-zone, that he finally walked up to you, hands finding your waist with a confidence you didn’t think possible for him.

“Can I kiss you now?” he whispered, somewhat out of breath from the climb up the stairs. You smiled at him. “I’d be mad if you didn’t.” 

And then he pounced. His plush lips were soft and well-moisturized, and his annoying, perfect nose brushed against yours; in fact his whole stupidly gorgeous face was pressed into yours, as your lips thrummed together, and you were conjoined into one being by the lips. 

His hands ran up and down your sides, finally taking hold firmly, only to pull you into his lap when he settled on the edge of his bed. You straddled his lap, as your lips danced, his tongue peeking out to enter your mouth. You moaned gratefully. Involuntarily, your hips rolled into his, and the jolt reverberated all the way up to his lips where he cried out and panted against your mouth. 

“You’re so pretty,” he said in between heated kisses. 

“So are you,” you said. He pulled away and smiled up at you, and he was truly worthy of the puppy-title, because his grin was so goofy and his eyes twinkled and he was so warm against you, it almost hurt. 

Carefully, he pressed a kiss to the valley of your breasts over your t-shirt, looking up at you with wide, brown eyes. “Can I eat you out?” 

The way he said it like he was completely and totally enamored with you (he was), like it was in this very moment of sitting on his lip and running your hands up his huge arms, that he was falling in love with you (it was), almost made you bashful. Your smile, usually cheeky and teasing, came small and shy. 

“Yeah, I-I wouldn’t mind that at all,” you responded, cursing at yourself for letting your confidence falter. However joy spread on Mingyu’s face like the ever-expanding universe spreads into endless empty space, because for once the tables were turned, and you were right underneath his hands, and he was flustering you. 

It had him pushing you onto his bed, head falling into the depths of his pillow, and working at your skirt to shimmy it down your legs. You lifted your hips in help and soon enough that and your shirt was discarded on the floor. Mingyu, with his black tee and his big arms and his sweetest-hottest face on Earth, settled between your legs with a dumb grin. 

“I can’t believe-” he cut himself off with a satisfied sigh, staring at your pussy. You were pushing yourself up by your arms, looking at the man-child between your legs just staring at your core as if it were his most prized possession. “I-I can’t believe I get to have you like this. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

Mingyu’s face fell (it was almost comical), and his eyes snapped up to yours. “Wait, are you mine? You are mine, right?” 

You giggled fondly. “Yeah, I’m yours, Mingyu.” 

Mingyu’s grin returned immediately and he nodded happily, eyes turning back to your pussy. 

“It’s so pretty,” he sighed, fangs poking out where his smile ended. One finger ran through your folds, wet from the making out and all the heated stares from lovedumb Mingyu. You whined a little at the pressure when his finger reached your clit. He was so close you could feel him panting against it. 

“Mingyu, please, stop staring at it, and do something,” you cried and Mingyu pursed his lips and nodded. “Right, yeah, sorry.” 

And then he dived in. 

His nose pressed into your clit as soon as he pushed his head in, tongue stuck out to lick at your folds. Your hands flew to his hair, a desperate moan leaving you. It was a little embarrassing how loud he was, huffing and puffing at your pussy, but you couldn’t complain when his tongue traced up from your hole to your clit, lips wrapping around it. 

“A-Aah, M-Mingyu-” you cried and pushed his head further into your core, while your hips canted off the mattress. The press of his nose was amazing, and his breaths danced across your nerves. “S-Shit, that feels so good.” 

Mingyu was totally lost in you though. Your taste on his tongue, your soft thighs underneath his hands where he pushed you apart, your moans, and the desperation in your movements. The fact that you were so catty and witty, but with a few flicks of his tongue, your facade fell and you became a whiny, desperate mess, begging for him. And he loved to give it to you. He loved that you felt good, he loved being the one to make you feel good. Lapping and panting into your pussy, Mingyu started to think he didn’t ever need to leave. You could just feel good forever! The logic was flawless.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you cried and you came on his tongue, cum seeping out of your sopping pussy. Mingyu, strong and tan and shiny Mingyu, didn’t stop though. Too enchanted by your soft moans and your nail in his roots, and your juices on his lips, he kept at it, tongue-fucking you to slurp up the cum. 

“M-Mingyu-” you whimpered softly, and his only response was a grunt, and one hand sliding off your thighs to prod at your entrance. “M-Mingyu, I-I already came!” you cried, more insistent. 

“You can cum again,” he mumbled gruffly, two fingers pushing into you. The feeling was so intense your voice became strangled and your chest pushed off his bed.

“Just say if you wanna stop, then I’ll stop,” his tone was almost challenging, as he pulled his face away from your dripping pussy and his fingers stilled inside you to give you a chance to answer. You looked down at him, panting, as he waited expectantly. Your ‘stop’ didn’t come. 

“That’s what I thought,” Mingyu grinned again, and God, this time it was sexy; not endearing, not awkward, not clumsy. It was so incredibly hot and he dived right back to your pussy, tongue swaddling your folds and fingers beginning to pump in and out. 

Your clit grinded against his face, slick smearing all over him, but he didn’t seem to care one bit, your cum on his cheek and two fingers working inside you, curling into your g-spot. “Cum again,” he gasped in between sucking on your clit with pointed lips. “Cum again, I wanna hear it again. You sounded so pretty, please, cum again. On my fingers now.” 

And he was rambling for sure, but it was working for you, because for the second time that night, a knot tightened in your belly and the string were pulled tighter and tighter with each lick and suck, and eventually it snapped, and your whole body spasmed and your pussy pulsated around his thick fingers. 

This time, he did stop. You closed your eyes and heaved for air, lying completely still in the sheets of his bed and panting for air. Mingyu smiled cheekily, pulling his fingers out of your sensitive pussy and licking them clean. As if it was nothing. As if it was juice from a popsicle, his tongue peaked out and he sucked your essence off of them, groaning at its taste. 

“Can you go on again? You taste so good,” he hummed, eyeing your fucked-out state. Your cheeks were flushed and strands of hair stuck to your sweaty face. You shook your head. “No, no, I want your cock now.” 

“Anything for you,” Mingyu agreed, shuffling to take his clothes off while you regrouped. 

It was not long before he was climbing over your body, so fucking huge and covering your entire form in his own, muscles flexing when he lowered himself onto you. As if by nature, Mingyu, tan and glistening in the bedside lamp, grabbed you by under your knees and pushed them to your chest, pressing them into you. 

“Wanna fuck you like this,” he pressed a kiss to one of the knees that was now folded over you. “Can I fuck you like this?” 

“Please!” you sobbed, because the position, and his strong hands holding you there, and your own slick covering his face had your pussy dripping onto his bed, and you could practically feel the heavy presence of his dick, even if it wasn’t touching you yet. 

Mingyu tilted his head as he looked down at you. You were so easy to admire. It was so easy for him to fall into every little jerk and breath and crevice of your face, and you looked so beautiful underneath him, Mingyu started to think he wanted nothing more for the rest of his life than to make you feel this good. 

“Okay,” he whispered, and only then did you notice how he stared at you, because there was something very tender in his voice. Adoration poured directly from his heart and into you.

Before you could get lost in his warm eyes, he moved one hand down to steer his dick into you. You cried out when you felt it pressing against your slit, cried even more when it started pressing into you. 

You had suspected Mingyu might be big, but nothing could’ve prepared you for each inch that seemed to endlessly plunge into your heat. Stretching you out like a rubber band, Mingyu finally bottomed out in you, his hard pelvis resting against your mound. 

“Shit, Gyu, y-you’re so fucking big,” you gasped, and then opened your eyes to see him smirking proudly. It made you giggle. He hummed giddily, looking down at your stomach. 

“You’re just so fucking small,” he said then, pressing one hand to your stomach, and then groaning when he could feel his dick inside you. “Shit.” 

At that, Mingyu started pounding into you. His pace was fucking relentlessly, something seemingly awakened in him at the bulging in your stomach. “Shit, shit, shit, my tiny, pretty baby, fuck, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” 

The praise had you reeling into him, it had you crying out and gripping onto his shoulders for dear life, while he worked up a sweat pistoning in and out of your pussy. You moans were shaken from the impact of his dick in your pussy. “Shit, so fucking tight, can hardly fucking take me.” 

“G-Gyu, f-fuck-” 

“But you’ll take it, hm? Fuck, I wanna make you cum so much more, jus’ have you in my room, making you cum over n’ over again. Shit.” 

You had not pegged Mingyu as a dirty talker, and you weren’t even sure if he was aware of what he was doing. Something about having his dick inside you, warm walls just pulled one dirty slew of words out after another. He’d never fucked a girl like this, never felt compelled to tell her exactly what she was doing to him. Not like with you.

You were so gorgeous to him, the way your chest bounced, and your eyes were screwed shut and how your mouth was opened in continuous, strained moans. It was how your hair bunched up on his pillow, and how your skin felt against his, and how you clenched at every word he spewed, while grinded into you like you were the only other person in the world. 

“F-fuck, my pretty fucking baby, you’re mine, right? Say it and I’ll make you cum forever, jus’-” he groaned, as your pussy clenched down on him extra tight. His pace fell and his hands on your knees dug into the skin. “Jus’ say you’re mine, please, Y/n.” 

“I-I’m yours, Gyu!” you cried out, his pace speeding up again and another orgasm bubbled in your stomach, and you pussy clenched embarrassingly hard for embarrassingly long. “Only yours, fuck.” 

“That’s right. Cum again, let- let me hear it one more time, yeah?” 

You came. Again. Clenching down so hard, and face twisting in pleasure, cum spilled out of you and coated his dick, still inside you.

Your third orgasm was a melodious song, and you moaned to it so loudly, you knew people three halls over would be wondering what was going on. But you could care less, letting his presence, his smell, his being above you drag more bursts of pleasure out of your body. 

Your breathing calmed down again, your soul traveling down from a sky-high mountain, and you started to feel it all again. Your orgasm had been so blinding, you had lost all of your senses but the blinding white explosion in your stomach, and now sighed heavily, pushing yourself up a little.

To your surprise, Mingyu’s hold on your knees didn’t let up, and it took you a moment to realize that his dick was still extremely hard inside you. He hadn’t cum yet.

“Want you to cum again,” Mingyu smiled sheepishly, adjusting his position to be able to pound into you again. You looked at him incredulously, and he chuckled a little, shrugging. “Just say if you want to stop.”

“Safe word is ‘pup’.” 

[punkeropercyjackson]

We like playing but the fact is Percy Jackson(the character)is objectively cool.Not just the coolest person in his verse but regardless of setting/context.Getting kicked out of 6 schools by the time you're 12 because you physically couldn't stop yourself from standing up for other kids no matter how badly it strained you is cool,being the son of Poseidon and Sally Jackson but refusing to live up to your father's legacy no matter how much you may've inhereted from him and embracing the boundless kindness and maternal tendencies your mother passed down to you is cool,escalating your bully beating to fighting a full on pantheon and demanding to their faces they fix how they run their system is cool,your neutral expression being a rbf that intimidates deities and monsters and more experienced demigods like it does humans is cool,pshycological immunity to selling out is VERY cool,not caring about living up to the image of a good person in favor of actually doing and thinking good things is VERY cool,stealing the god of the Underworld's kids from him by adopting them as your intergenerational best friends/honorary siblings/pseudo-kids because you decided he's not good enough for them after he abused them and knowing what it's like after going through an abusive parent yourself so you break the cycle in addition to breaking tons of other cycles on purpose nonstop is VERY COOL,kicking a war god's ass as a scrawny ahh 12 year old with a month of training tops and choking a chthonic goddess with her own poison is very VERY cool,your gnc swag getting clocked before you even started estrogen and dressing femme/punk/earthy like you've always wanted by a butch lesbian(Piper)is SO FUCKING COOL,your status as an anarchist/antifa/liberatarian getting described as 'the sea does not like to be restrained' is THE COOLEST SHIT EVER and we should stop pretending the blue food addiction isn't cool in a weird way and a genuine realistic neurodivergent trait-or if we're being real,a safe food.We should also stop pretending Percy's not canonically objectively autistic/autistic-coded and the most autistic person in his entire franchise and written to defy stereotypes about neurodivergent people i.e not stupid or lame but a genius who just sucks at academics and hates themself due to ableist abuse upon them starting in early childhood and by the people doing it,onset denial of their autism to not feel guilty over treating them badly for it or to justify it as the 'correct' treatment of 'that' kind of autistic person.Percy's theme song isn't Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne,it's Kool by Meet Me @ The Altar

[neverlostmycrown]

I've seen her live and it was freaking amazing 😍

'Bite Me (Acoustic)' - Avril Lavigne

"Hey you, you should've known better, better to fuck with someone like me Hey you, forever and ever you're gonna wish I was your wifey Should've held on, should've treated me right I gave you one chance, you don't get it twice Hey you, and we'll be together never, so baby you can bite me"

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Band AU: Hazbin Hotel

Because there's always a band AU.

-666 News Broadcast Theme Plays through the dive bar cafe from the small, flickering TV in the corner-

Katie Killjoy: Breaking News in the Pop industry today! Our sunshine and rainbows, Mandy Moore wannabe, and Princess of Hell, Charlotte Morningstar, has come out with a new music video to help promote a brand new album that appears to have been conjured up seemingly overnight.

Angel: Hey, Vagina! (Elbows Vaggie) Ain't that your girl crush from the open band night down at Husk's Casino two months ago?

Vaggie: (chokes on her coffee) What?! Turn it up, Jackass!

Angel: (steals the remote from across the bartop and turns up the TV)

Tom Trench: And, boy howdy, this makeover is on par with most Disney child stars diving off the deep end!

Katie Killjoy: (spears a pen through Tom's hand) No one gives a shit Tom.

Tom Trench: MY HAND!!!

Katie Killjoy: Spectators and fans of our usually diabetically sweet princess feel that this sudden shift is caused by her breakup with Seviathan Von Eldritch just last month, ending the royal arranged engagement, after he mentioned how she refused to "put out" before marriage in an interview with Hell's High Class Weekly.

Vaggie: (bristles) The douchebag....

Katie Killjoy: Let's watch as our lovely princess makes her breakdown public.

-Screen shifts to Charlie holding a mic in one hand while picking a guitar in another, wearing 2000's Avril Lavigne glam rock attire (hot pink, baggy cargo pants, black leather studded belt, rainbow converse, black leather wrist bands, grey tank top with two black goats faced just the right way so their curved horns make a heart and tied together with a rainbow knot, and a black and red stripped tie) Razzle and Dazzle are playing drums and bass-

Charlie: Don't you know that IIIIIIIII- (flips off the camera and sticks out her tongue while mouthing "Fuck you, Seviathan" as the song reaches its climax) I don't give a daaaaaaaamn about you!!! I won't give it up, not for you!!! I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy. A guy who thinks he's all that!

Vaggie: Whoa! (Big smiles like when Adam got stabbed) Get it, Charlie!

Katie Killjoy: (as the screen returns to normal) Other songs on the album include "Behind These Crimson Eyes", "The Dick Who Blocked His Own Shot", "Smack a Bitch", "Since U Been Gone", and the gay community's rabid favorite "Dear Vaggie"-

Angel: (sucking down his third popsicle for breakfast) What now?

Vaggie: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Katie Killjoy: -The obviously plagiarized parody of "Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato has unsubtle lesbian and bisexual overtones that specifically mentions Vaggie "the Steel Vagina". The lead singer and guitarist of the Power/Grunge Metal band, Fallen Angels

Angel: (wheezes as he laughs breathlessly and falls off his stool)

Vaggie: (steaming) Angel!!! ¡Eres un chupapollas, hijo de puta! Why would you tell the news that was my name?!

Angel: (ugly walrus gasps and giggles) Because it's better than I ever dreamed!!!!

Katie Killjoy: Fans of both artists are absolutely frothing at the mouth to see what Vaggie's response will be.

Tom Trench: Frothing at the mouth and other orifices, if you catch my drift. (Gets a pen slammed into his balls) GaaAhaHaaaaHaha!

Katie Killjoy: More on this story tonight at eleven.

Vaggie:

Angel: Soooooo~ Whatcha wanna doooooo~?

Vaggie: We're going to Tune Town, getting a copy of that album-

Angel: Ooooooooh-hohohoooooh~ I can visit dat nice glory hole they got there.

Vaggie: -THEN!!! We are going back to the apartment and making a response single.

Angel: Do you know what you even want to put in it?

Vaggie: (slipping on her jacket) I'll figure it out after listening to the album!

[lipglossanon]

I’m With You

........::::*❃*❃*•°✾°•*❃*❃*::::........

roommate!Leon S. Kennedy x fem!reader

This one’s a little self indulgent on my part 😌 also the last one I have planned for roommate Leon as he’s going on hiatus as I work on other WIPs 👌

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, hurt/comfort, softness 😌, slight dirty talk, praise, unprotected sex, creampie, Leon being his dorky self 🤭

Not proofread ✍️

Title from I’m With You by Avril Lavigne

........::::*❃*❃*•°✾°•*❃*❃*::::........

“Whatcha up to?”

You raise your head up from laying on your palm, turning your attention away from the tv to Leon walking towards you. 

Stepping up to the couch, he presses a quick kiss to the top of your head. 

“Rough day?” he asks softly noticing the show playing on the screen. 

You nod, head sinking back down to rest on your hand, “Yeah, just trying to forget about it.”

He strokes the back of your neck. 

“Be right back,” he murmurs, kissing you again before walking to his room. 

You turn back to the tv, letting the comfort of childhood wash over you, lessening your anxiety. After a few minutes, Leon joins you on the couch. You notice he changed out of his work clothes into some comfy looking loungewear. 

“C’mere, honey,” he grabs a blanket from the back of the couch and holds it open in his arms, “come snuggle with me.”

You give him a watery smile and scooch over until he’s wrapping you up like a burrito and cuddling you to his chest as you lay on your sides to watch TV. 

“Wanna talk about?” his low voice whispers in your ear. 

“Just a shitty day,” you whisper back, snuggling further into the fuzzy blanket and his arms. 

A comfortable quiet settles as you both just relax in each other’s company. A few episodes later and you feel yourself drifting to sleep but you shift and squirm trying to fight it. 

“Shh, I got you,” Leon presses a kiss to your ear, “it’s okay.”

You nod off, listening to the sound of Leon’s even breathing and the faint voices coming from the speakers. 

You wake some time later to a different show playing on the television, sound turned down so low it’s barely noticeable. Leon’s hands are petting across your body and you sigh as you nuzzle against him. 

“Awake?”

“Mmhmm,” you press a kiss to his chest, “thank you.”

“Sometimes y’just need to take a breather,” he presses a kiss to your hairline. 

You squirm a little, “Yeah, thank you. It helped me relax some.”

“Good,” his hands stop moving as he takes a quick breath, “I’ve got sort of an unorthodox way to help you relax more. If you want.”

“Like what?”

“Sex,” he states bluntly making you laugh softly. 

“I mean it,” he grins as you tilt your head up to look at him, “it’s good for relaxation.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“It’s just an offer.”

“I never said no,” a shy smile steals over your face, “I’m not opposed to it.”

“Oh?”

Leon pushes the back of the blanket up just enough to reach a hand underneath. He slips it between your thighs and slowly teases your pussy through your shorts. 

“Just need to relax, honey,” he soothes, tongue licking the shell of your ear, “let me make you feel good.”

“Leon,” you whimper, trapped in your burrito blanket so you can only wiggle against him. 

“I know,” he whispers, voice heavy against your sensitive neck, “let me dick you down baby. Stuff this little cunt til you can’t think anymore.”

You whine and he moves his fingers underneath the band of your shorts and panties to tease along your pussy lips to circle your clit.  

Slick is oozing from your hole dripping into your panties making it easy for Leon to circle your slippery clit with his fingers. 

“Leon,” you sigh, pushing your hips down into his hand.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs, kissing you sweetly as his middle and ring finger press into your clenching heat. 

You moan into his mouth as he scissors you open before slowly sliding his fingers deeper into your wet pussy.  He lets his palm slap against your clit with every thrust up into your cunt as you sloppily suck on his tongue. 

“Leon, please,” you pull back, licking his spit off of your lips.

“Okay,” he soothes, shifting you down on the couch and onto your stomach.

He bunches up the blanket with one hand as he slides your panties and shorts off with the other. You whine to feel the cool air of the room but it’s soon replaced with Leon’s body heat as he grinds his bare cock against your wet pussy lips. 

“Ready?” he presses his cock against your clenching hole but waits til you nod before pressing in. 

You both moan as he slowly slides into your wet fluttering walls until he’s bottoming out in your cunt. 

“So good for me,” he grunts as he pulls out and snaps his hips back into your pussy, “such a good girl.”

You whine in reply, letting Leon’s heavy weight press you down into the couch, cocooned in the blanket, as he spears you open on his cock.  

“Shh, shh, let me do all the thinkin honey,” he coos, grinding deep into your spasming pussy to rub against your g-spot, “there we go, you just worry about feeling good.”

Your moans are muffled as he gently presses your face into the cushions. You let him rut his fat cock into your pussy for hours. He goes so slow and deep that you’re drooling all over the place, pussy feeling stretched and used—you love it, not able to think past the feeling of him buried in your guts. 

Leon hasn’t moved you from where he first pressed you down into the couch. The blanket is saturated with your slick, dribbling past Leon’s dick every time he he thrusts into your pussy. 

“Gonna have to do this every night huh,” he chuckles into your shoulder as he kisses the skin, “really feels like y’needed it.”

“Uh huh,” you reply dumbly, clenching around Leon harder at his voice in your ear. 

“Don’t worry,” he coos, grinding his tip against the opening of your womb making you kick your legs from the pleasurable pinch of pain, “you just need my cock emptying that silly brain, right honey?”

“Please, Leon.”

“Shh, shh,” he nips your neck before whispering in your ear, “that’s my good girl, perfect little pussy just taking my cock nice ‘n deep. Mmm so good for me.”

You’re whining louder now so Leon slows down even more, burying his cock into your soaked cunt with a sigh. 

“I need you to keep quiet, don’t want to wake the neighbors,” he chuckles as you try to buck back against him. 

You shiver and moan quietly, the syrupy pleasure trickling from your brain all the way through your body as the band of arousal winds tighter and tighter. Leon shifts his hips and presses his cock upwards to grind his drippy tip against your g-spot constantly. 

“Oh, oh, I’m gonna— oh Leon,” you try to let him know you’re about to cum, but your tongue feels thick and heavy in your mouth, brain slowly processing what you’re feeling much less words to go along with it. 

“C’mon, be a good girl and cream my cock, you can do it,” he rumbles low in his chest, voice smoky and warm, “want you squeezing on my dick so I can fill you up.”

“Fuck,” you gasp out a mewling cry as your pussy clamps down on Leon’s dick, walls pulsing and fluttering around him as that band snaps and your climax washes over your senses. 

“That’s it, my good girl,” Leon grunts, snapping his hips harder into your soaking wet hole, “take my load, honey, wanna watch it drip outta ya.”

With a few more harsh thrusts, Leon groans and buries his cock deep into your pussy, white hot cum spilling from his throbbing tip. He grinds himself even deeper as he finishes inside your fluttering cunt before slowly pulling out, a creamy mix of cum and slick oozing from your pussy. 

Leon chuckles softly and flops down on top of you, making you let out a breath as his weight smushes you into the couch cushions. 

“Leon,” your whine ends on a giggle as he blows a raspberry on your neck.  

“I know, I know,” he kisses the side of your head, “wanna join me in a shower?”

“Yes, please,” you wiggle and finally free yourself from the blanket to raise up on your knees, “I’m a mess.”

“Mmm, I’d say so,” he grins at you, slapping your ass as he stands up, “c’mon, you know how long these raggedy ass pipes take to heat up.”

You roll your eyes and swat his hands away before he can smack your ass again.

“I know, Leon, I live here too.”

“Never said ya didn’t,” his grin widens and he swings down to grab you up in a bridal carry, “this’ll be faster, sweet cheeks.”

“Oh my god,” you bury your face in his chest with a laugh, “you did not just say that. You’re such a dork, Leon.”

“Maybe, jury’s still out on that one.”

He drops a quick kiss to the top of your head as he gently carries you to the bathroom.  

[tantei-chan01]

So Bramch was canonically in 2 boy bands in his youth, one of them being the most famous one in Pop Troll history, and both of which had to have been before Rosie's death. Idk about you, but considering how Pop Trolls are, the ultimate flex for a male troll had to be being the lead singer/leader of a boy band, which we can safely assume Branch was the leader of NSYNC's band considering the way their cameos spoke about him asking them to visit and the fact he stayed in the center of the screen. On top of that, Branch had to have been the youngest troll to ever join a boy band, seeing as he couldn't have been older than 2 when Brozone broke up.

I'm just saying the series is REALLY hyping. Branch up as the ideal Dream Boy for a pop troll to get with, and then I think to how he was literally an outcast in the first movie and can't help but laugh my ass off. Like... I bet a lot of Trolls in Pop Village that used to mske fun of him very much had expressions akin to sucking on a sour lemon when they realized Branch was Bitty B AND the presumed leader of whatever NSYNC's Troll name was.

And that's before we take the events of the movies in account and just focus on his background up until the day Rosie died! Boy had been a full on Pop Troll legend before he reached puberty and then became a hero and the best candidate for future king in later life, you can bet Poppy is gonna see this and be so damn smug her best friend/crush is such a catch and she was the only damn person to see it for so long. Like full on pointing st him and be like,

"THAT IS MY MAN! YA'LL THOUGH TI WAS CRAZY FOR TEYING BUT LOOK WHOS LAUGHING NOW!?"

Like... ever heard Skater Boi from Avril Lavigne it's gonna be a total situation like that in Pop Village when they have that concert

Classic case of "Be careful who you bully in high school"

It's not just Pop trolls, Branch has qualities that the other tribes find very attractive.

His intelligence and engineering abilities are very sought after in the Funk and Techno tribes.

Musical and composing skills are very attractive features for the Classical tribe.

The Country trolls always appreciate a hardworking, honest, and loyal troll in their community.

All those qualities together make him a highly desired troll amongst the Rock tribe.

So, yeah, Poppy might not have much competition in the Pop tribe, but she'll need to put up a fight when it comes to the others. 😉

[izufeels]

okay im back for ur celly eheheh

for touya:

what song would he queue up on aux at a party?

how do u think he would react to natsuo having a fat crush on u HEHE

if he has a stupid shitty "regret" tattoo what would it be

1. okay he would either do some stupid song to fuck with people (avril lavigne) or he would do like xxx orrr yeat maybe? he deffff would queue look at me! at some point in the night

2. JDJWJFJ he would try to act soooo nonchalant abt it, but its eating him up inside. when you entertain natsuo’s crush HE GOES CRAAAZZZZYY

“y/n! touya didn’t tell me you were coming!”

“go away before i kick your ass.”

like hes suchhhhh a jealous person its kind of funny atp.

3. he doesn’t really ‘regret’ any of his tattoos, he just doesn’t like them. but the one he dislikes the most is a really shitty rendition of a band logo that he got when he was a teenager. like its a stick n’ poke that was done by some freshman and it sucks soooo bad

^ read the alt text pls!

[thesinglesjukebox]

CHAPPELL ROAN - "HOT TO GO!"

2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate? You all! This wraps up this month's coverage -- see ya in November!

[7.00]

Alfred Soto: Chappell Roan's The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess is a sparkling collection of moods and passing desires, best when euphoric. The ballads might have been even stronger had she spelled out their choruses. [7]

Dave Moore: Spelling is fun! [3]

Grace Robins-Somerville: It's been too long since we've had a "spell the words out with your arms" song in the zeitgeist, and seeing people do the H-O-T-T-O-G-O dance at weddings has cemented its staying power. It's nice that lesbians have their "YMCA" now.  [8]

Katherine St. Asaph: "Hot to Go!" is a crowd chant-along that shouldn't work at all as one. The template is "YMCA," but the difference and the problem is that "YMCA" is instantly parseable when spelled out, while "H-O-T-T / O-G-O" takes a moment's reassembly. The other highlight line in "baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me" is endearingly blunt -- more musicians should be that honest -- but nevertheless cannot honestly be chanted by anyone but Dan Nigro or Chappell Roan. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that "Hot to Go!" is hugely effective at getting crowds to chant along. [7]

Aaron Bergstrom: Retroactively furious about the idea that one or more of the Village People potentially did or did not endorse Jimmy Carter in the 1980 Presidential election. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: Who or what is a hottogo? The chant falls short of total clarity by going two steps further than succinct, but therein lies the charm. Bursting at the seams of some slightly thin fabric, Chappell Roan carries this so far and fast that she might struggle to find her way back. [7]

Leah Isobel: There are about five perfect hooks on Chappell's debut album. "Baby don't you like this beat?/ I made it so you'd sleep with me" is one of them, precise and funny and melodically flawless. I think that was the moment that sold me on her whole project: the bluntness balanced by craft, the expertise made human by the raw and embarrassing vulnerability of wanting sex, wanting recognition, wanting anything at all. Also, have y'all heard the fanmade Rhythm Heaven edit for this? Banger! [8]

TA Inskeep: Every generation gets a new cheerleading-cheer anthem -- think Toni Basil's "Mickey" or Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" -- and here's the latest, with a bit of "Y.M.C.A." thrown in for good measure. It's hard to ignore Roan's joy on this chorus; this is also a rare pop single where its meme-ability actually draws me in (cf. "Call Me Maybe"). How can you not smile when you hear this? [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Of all the guises that Chappell Roan inhabited on her debut album, this always felt like the truest — she sounds like Devo if they slayed, still gawking and midwestern and not quite fitting a perfect archetype of pop stardom but still, nevertheless, a star. The weepy ballads (some of them great) fade away in the face of this, the goofy chant-a-longs and dance instructions wearing one's resistance down on the strength of pure charisma and craft. There are hooks upon hooks here — I think I've had just the synth chord on the prechorus stuck in my head before. [9]

Ian Mathers: I took the number of times I've caught myself humming this song since I first heard the record last year and divided it by a very large number and got this score. I am not currently interested in Discourse beyond that. [10]

Nortey Dowuona: You're trying to take out Chappell Roan the way you took out Amy Winehouse and I don't like it. Not one bit.  Also, the '80s actually kinda sucked -- let's not go back. (This song is great btw.) [8]

Jel Bugle: I know everyone loves Chappell, and I’ve not really bothered to get too excited. I like the Casio keyboard sounds, and spelling out words in songs is always a good trick (see "D I S C O," and I’m sure Olivia has a spelling words out song?). I can see why Sabrina is winning the chart battle here in the UK. I just feel like this song is okay, warm rather than hot -- a sort of personality over the strength of the song. Plus, I’m getting tired of this song constantly being pushed to me by Spotify -- if it happens again the [6] becomes a [5].  [6]

Taylor Alatorre: For all the talk of Chappell Roan hailing the return of “recession pop,” this strikes my ears as more of a grasping imitation of the real than most of what PC Music was accused of putting out. Maybe that’s unavoidable given the generation gap, as well as the decline of the universal pop star – Chappell covers “Bad Romance” on tour, but she doesn’t exude the belief that she can be a legitimate successor to Lady Gaga. She’s ambivalent about the compromises required for mass appeal, even on songs like this one which are structured, at least internally, toward that end. It’s all the external festooning and DIY-style pageantry which redirect the song’s course toward a cozier ideal of attainable imperfection, a glitzy and glammy take on self-sabotage. Which, in the end, is its own kind of earnestness. “HOT TO GO!” is confident enough in its own gangliness to bill itself as a coming-out party where everyone, even the normies, is invited, despite the singer’s doubts about the long-term viability of this promise. [6]

Tim de Reuse: The appeal of "Pink Pony Club" was immediately evident to me on first listen. But this one's a silly Chappell Roan song: The narrative here is buried under catchy turns of phrase and the hokey pokey-ass pre-chorus, leaving us to wring pathos out of a few scant lines in the verses. So, what's the draw? The simple build-and-release drama of a I-IV-I progression? The energy of a jittery, unkempt synthesizer-driven beat? Is the chant of "H-O-T-T-O-G-O" sugary enough to overcome my pop-pessimist cynicism and light up my long-calcified dopamine receptors for once? Eh, kinda. It's well-constructed, but it just isn't aiming all that high. [6]

Will Adams: Silly fun pop that doesn't require much thought -- just do the little dance and enjoy yourself! [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

gansey in my mind looks like a teenage mulder from xfiles if he was perpetually dressed up as the had to do it to em dude. fuck your dark academia bullshit, myp guy wears neon polo shirts and boat shoes. he looks like shit and thats the best part. so does blue for that matter she would NOT touch your aesthetic little shein tiktok alt outfits with a 12foot pole. she canonically wore a lime green tshirt dress covered in black lace she haphazardly sewed on at the last moment for a funeral because she does not own black clothing. stop putting her in fucking overalls and cute little crop tops she should look like a micheals craft store scrap pile if it could threaten to shank you with a pink pocketknife. and adam is a fucking redneck who wears secondhand clothes in virginia and cuts his own hair, you think hes not walking around in john deer hunting camo and a haircut thats one step away from a mullet??? fuck offffff. also since he canonically has hair the color of dust and dirt well Virginia soil is ORANGE bc of the high iron content. my boy is a ginger, at the very least strawberry blonde. suck my cock about it. fanart of ronan is usually fine i guess just stop anime twinkifiying noah he is not your socially acceptable draco malfoy fanart replacement hes a skater kid with perpetually dated fashion, he should look like a genderbent avril lavigne. you people are all cowards

[lulublack90]

Prompt 6 - Book

@rosekillermicrofic September 6, word count 630

Previous part First Jegulus part

He hadn’t heard anything from Regulus since he’d gone to meet Jack. Damn it, James! His body had begun itching with the fear that something was wrong. Regulus hadn’t answered his messages or the ten phone calls Barty had made since this morning. 

“He’ll contact us when he can. The burger beast might be having another family meeting, and you know he can’t even touch his phone in those.” Evan tried his best to calm him, but Barty’s mind would not be quiet. He had scenario after scenario spinning around in his mind’s eye. He was this close to tracking down Jasper. Damn it, James! Or that good-for-nothing brother of Regulus’s at his little café. 

He’d got as far as retrieving his boots when Evan stopped him. “Babe, going in guns blazing is not going to work. Why don’t I take your mind off it?” Evan’s eyes were twinkling in that wicked way that made Barty’s mouth water. He whined pitifully, his head snapping between the front door and the bedroom door. He finally growled, grabbed Evan’s arm and dragged him into the bedroom. 

The doorbell rang, but as Evan was looming over him, ready to make him see stars, they both chose to ignore it. It was probably only a bunch of churchies trying to get him to repent his wicked ways. They could leave a leaflet. They always did anyway. Then his phone rang and Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend blared out of the speaker. Regulus's ringtone. Evan grabbed it before Barty could shove him off. Evan answered it and put it on speaker. 

“Reg?!” Barty croaked. 

“Can - can you come open the door? I-I-I don’t have my key,” He was crying. Barty did actually go to shove Evan off him this time, but Evan was already on his feet, tossing Barty his jeans while he dragged his own back on. Barty didn’t even stop, he pulled his jeans on as he rushed towards the door, not even stumbling in the process. A trick he’d learnt in his youth when he’d had to book it after hooking up with people he shouldn’t have been when their spouses came home early. He wrenched the door open, its hinges protesting, and took in his friend's tear-stained face looking up at him from where he'd fallen to his knees. Barty fell to the floor next to Regulus and wrapped his arms around him. Regulus shook uncontrollably as a fresh wave of tears cascaded down his face. “I was so scared,” Regulus confessed. “I thought she was going to kill me,” Barty had to suck the rage he was suddenly engulfed by back down. He wasn’t angry at Regulus after all, but Walburga Black’s days were numbered. 

Evan helped him move Regulus inside off the street and the three of them curled up on the sofa together, for once Barty not thinking about how near to a threesome they were. 

“We can cancel tonight, Pandora won’t mind,” Evan told Regulus, handing him another tissue. The raven-haired boy shook his head no. 

“No, I need something to take my mind off it,” Regulus hiccuped softly. 

“Alright, darling, whatever you want,” Barty told him, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head, Regulus's silken curls brushing against his lips. Regulus let his head loll onto Barty’s shoulder, silently thanking him for the contact. 

“You can stay here as long as you want,” Evan said again. Regulus nodded. 

“Thanks, guys,” He gave them his first smile since he’d got there and Barty let out a relieved breath. He’d be fine, and he was finally out of that evil house. Now Barty could focus on sussing out this new pretty boy of his, James. Hey look at that he finally got it right on the first try. 

Next part

[toppersjeep]

Jeff Atkins (When You’re Gone)

Summary: After Jeff dies you feel lost without him. You try to move on but it’s hard for you. So when they honor him for the team you decide to speak about him. You also sometimes see Jeff just like Clay sees Hannah. Who doesn’t love a ghost of there ex?

this song inspired this

Your POV

“Hey sis are you ready for today” Clay asked me. But I pretended to ignore him. I wasn’t ready. My boyfriend was dead. This year would’ve been our senior year together. Only because he was failing classes. But part of me thinks he wanted to stay back so I didn’t have to do it alone.

But now he was gone. Part of me still felt like he was here with me. I missed him more than anything in this world. I’d give anything to see his smile.

“Y/N we gotta get going” Clay said as I started at a photo of Jeff and I. A tear rolled down my cheek. “Yeah Clay” I said wiping a tear. “You don’t have to speak you know I can say you were sick” Clay said. “No no it’s okay” I said setting the picture back on my nightstand. “Alright then” Clay said.

I then looked at the necklace Jeff had given me with his initials and a little baseball bat. But now beside it was his class ring. I never took it off for anything. At least this way he was still here.

“I’m coming” I said grabbing Jeff’s letterman jacket and putting it on over my dress. Clay and I drove to the school. We parked and went inside the school. It was in the gym. I walked over to the principal were he wanted me.

Clay and our parents sat on the bleachers. Jeff’s parents sat beside them too. The principal of course said a couple words. I just sat there thinking about him. And the first time we met. Was actually when clay tutored him.

Flashback

“I brought my sister to help since she’s so good at science” Clay said as I sat down beside Jeff. “Wow there’s no way she’s your sister she’s wow” Jeff said I blushed. “And you are so” Jeff said I laughed.

“Very funny Jeff” Clay said. “So what’s your name beautiful” Jeff said I blushed. “Y/N” I said he smiled. “I love that name” he said. “Alright enough flirting” Clay said.

And after that he got my number and we talked for hours on end. He eventually asked me out on a date. Even though clay hated the idea. Eventually he warmed up to us dating.

He was my first kiss my first everything. But I never thought I’d meet someone like him. He’s perfect.

End of flashback

“And now Y/N Jensen has prepared something in honor of her late boyfriend Jeff” the principal said. I walked up. I then went up to the microphone. I just looked at everyone sitting on the bleachers.

“Jeff… I’m sorry give me a second” I said tearing up. I then pretended he was there in that room like I did sometimes. Maybe it was real and he was there protecting me. “Love it’s okay you can do this deep breaths” Jeff said standing beside me.

Even though he wasn’t there. Part of me felt his presence with me all the time. I took a deep breath and then began to speak again.

“Jeff was one of those people that you met once in a lifetime and we all had the privilege of knowing him” I said. “I had the privilege of knowing him a lot better than all of you” I said tearing up. “Maybe even more than his parents knew” I said.

“I also had the privilege of loving him and being loved by him” I said. “I remember the first time I met Jeff it was in the library” I said. “The first thing he told me was that I was beautiful” I said. “Nobody had ever made me feel as special as he did” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.

“From that day forward he became the most important person in my life” I said. “We talked every day and night even when I didn’t want to” I said people laughed. “He even tried to teach me how to play baseball but I sucked” I said. “Even though he always told me I didn’t” I said.

“You could’ve easily beat me babe with practice” Jeff said.

“He always told me I could beat him with practice but I know he let me win” I said. “Being loved by Jeff was one of the best feelings in this world” I said. “The way his eyes lit up when he looked at me is something I’ll never forget” I said.

“I remember the night he told me he loved me” I said tearing up. “A girl waits her whole life to hear those words” I said. “We were at the dance in this very gym” I said. “Of course I dragged him to this dance like I always did” I said smiling. “And he came even though he probably would’ve preferred a movie night” I said people smiled.

“We were dancing on this very floor when he told me he loved me” I said. “It was a slow dance and I had my head on his chest and I remember how I felt in that moment” I added.

“So safe and so secure he then kissed my forehead and told me he loved me” I said. “He said “Y/N I’m gonna say something crazy I don’t care if you don’t say it back” and I looked at him” I said. “I then said “Jeff nothing you can say is crazy” I remember looked up at him and he just smiled” I said.

“He then whispered in my ear “Y/N I love you I know that it hasn’t been long but I’m in love with you” I remember feeling butterflies in that moment” I said tearing up. “I thought for once in my life I had my moment” I said.

“I then looked up at him and told him I loved him” I said wiping a tear. “From that moment on I loved Jeff everyday more and more” I said. “He promised me so much more than anyone had before him” I said. “…Jeff was… and is my soulmate and I’d give anything to have him here beside me” I said as tears rolled down my face.

“The night.. Jeff.. passed… before the party we had a conversation about our future this year” I said. “I know it sounds crazy for two kids to be thinking about the future” I said. “But we were in love” I said. “Madly in love” Jeff said. I smiled.

“He told me that he wanted to marry me” I said. “That he knew I was the one for him and there wasn’t anyone else” I said crying. “I said ask me again next year” I said wiping a tear. “And he told me he would little did I know he had the ring there that night” I said.

“I wish I would’ve known and said yes that very night.. I think all the time maybe he’d still be here if I would’ve known” I said. “But.. I do know that he’s still here with us watching over everyone” I said. “Jeff was one of a kind and he’d be so happy that this team won states this year” I said.

“And Jeff if you are somehow hear listening or in heaven I want you to know the answer is yes and it will always be yes” I said tearing up. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak about Jeff” I said.

I then stopped speaking and walked away. The principal went back up and spoke. I went outside and sat on a lunch table.

“I’m proud of you” Jeff said sitting beside me. “I wish you were here” I said. “I am here for you always right here” he said pointing at my necklace. “You know what I mean” I said looking at him. “I know baby” he said I looked at him.

“I can’t do this without you” I said. “Hey” he said side hugging me. “Remember what I always told you” Jeff said. “No matter what you’ll always protect me” I said. “That and you look beautiful no matter what” he said I laughed.

“I should’ve said yes that night I’m sorry” I said. “It’s not your fault Y/N don’t blame yourself okay” he said wiping my tears. “I need you” I said. “And I’ll always be here but..” Jeff said. “But what” I said. “You gotta move on eventually” he said looking at me. “I can’t” I said looking at the ring.

“Love.. you will always be my first love too you know that” Jeff said. “There’s nobody else like you” I said. “Really.. what about Scott Reed” Jeff said. “Jeff what about him” I said. “Remember the day you dropped your books and he helped you”Jeff said. “Yeah” I said.

“Or when he asked you for help with the team games” Jeff said. “Jeff I don’t understand” I said. “Or how he checks up on you after the trails or just texts you” Jeff said.

“What are you saying” I said looking at him. He then looked behind me. I heard some footsteps. “Hey I came to check on you” Scott said. Jeff looked at me. “H..Hey” I said Scott said beside me. “Are you okay” Scott asked.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay” I said. He put an arm around me. “It’s weird without him here but it feels like he’s pushing me towards you” Scott said. “Maybe he is here” I said looking over at him he smiled.

“It’s just like all these things keep happening and I feel like he’s putting us together” Scott said. I rested my head on his shoulder. “Your not like your baseball friends” I said. “Those guys may be my teammates but they are all assholes Jeff wasn’t” Scott said.

“Jeff used to say the same thing about you” I said. “Maybe it’s a sign” Scott said. “So why do you keep appearing every where” I said. “Because I care about you a lot” he said wiping my tears. Just like Jeff used to do for me.

“But why me” I said. “Because your special and Jeff would always tell me that” Scott said. “And I’m starting to see why he loved you so much” Scott said. “Yeah” I said. “Yeah so if you are up for it I’d like too…

He began to say I kissed him.

“Prom” I asked. “I was gonna ask you the same thing” Scott said. “So yes” I said. “I’d love to” Scott said. “Told you I got you always” Jeff said to me I smiled. “What are you looking at” Scott said. “The beautiful sunset” I said.

“Hey maybe Jeff is here after all” Scott said. “He is..” I said tearing up. “I’ll always love you” Jeff said. “I love you” I mouthed and he was gone just like that. “So prom” Scott said.

“Oh right my dress is like light purple” I said he smiled.

[chaotic-mystery]

Jaded | J.M.

ꨄ Pairing: bfd!Joel x f!reader

ꨄ Summary: It’s been rocky between you and your secret boyfriend who just so happens to also be your best friends dad, ever since you moved to a new city without him. Surprising him for his birthday probably wasn’t the best idea, for either one of you.

ꨄ CW: established relationship, age gap (Joel’s in his late 40s, reader late 20s) swearing, mean!joel, arguing, Joel saying stuff he doesn’t mean like usual, no outbreak!au.

ꨄ WC:2.6k

A/N: am I an asshole for leaving it the way I did? Maybe. We all knew it was coming though! This honestly broke my heart and I hope it reads how I envisioned it. Let me know what you think! 🖤

🝮Songs to listen to for this🝮

Jaded - Miley Cyrus

Sucks 4 U - Sophie Cates

Complicated - Avril Lavigne

Look After You - The Fray

Over You - Daughtry

About You - The 1975

“Joel..” you muttered with your eyes still closed, your arm extending out to the other side of your bed. Slowly blinking your eyes open and sitting up, you breathed in deeply as you looked around confused. There was no reason you should’ve been calling out his name considering he hasn’t come to see you in weeks. Joel was older, it was unrealistic to think he’d text you many times during the day. He preferred calling or coming to visit when he had the weekend off. The past few weekends he decided to stay home which didn’t bother you, but he didn’t call much either. If he did call, it was short and brief, like it was a chore. Joel used to lay the phone on his bare chest, your voice on speaker while he dozed off listening to how pretty you sounded. That hasn’t happened in months.

You hurried to find your phone on the floor, texting Sarah as fast as your fingers could type.

Hey! Are you guys doing anything for your dad’s birthday this weekend?? Should we drive to see him?

Minutes that felt like hours passed and you bit at the inside of your cheek in nervousness, dying to see her response.

I heard from Uncle Tommy they were throwing a surprise party, but i won’t be able to make it home this weekend, soccer game! Feel free to go tho, I’m sure he won’t mind you taking my place! Love ya xo

Your thumb brushed over the side of your phone as you reread the text about a dozen times, contemplating the idea of going. What if he didn’t want to see you? Could you handle that amount of rejection? You needed answers from him though, what happened to him where he felt comfortable treating you like a stranger? Fuck it.

In a matter of 30 minutes you managed to get every single detail from Tommy, your bag packed and GPS routed to Joel’s house. It seemed a little crazy, a spur of the moment trip to drive 4 hours to confront the man who was trying to ghost you. As you got in your car and your playlist blaring through the speakers, you gave yourself a small pep talk, bracing yourself for whatever was about to happen tonight.

———————-

Finally you arrived at the Millers house, Joel’s truck nowhere in sight. You parked a few houses away so he wouldn’t see your car if he took the same route he always did to get home. Tommy pushed the screen door open and greeted you with his arms open and a grin on his face, a kitchen towel over his shoulder. “Well well well, she does live!” Tommy joked with you and grabbed your bag from your hand, walking up the sidewalk to the house. “Alive and well, just fucking starving and I need a shower before I get dressed.” Your arms wrapped around his torso and hugged him tightly. Tommy knew about you and Joel, he knew not to tell Sarah or lead on to anything going on between you and Joel in front of her. “Well c’mon then! Get your shit and let’s go inside, fix ya somethin’ to eat. Joel’s at work but he’ll be here after. All your shit is still upstairs so go on while I make you something I can find in this god forsaken fridge.” Tommy shouted from the kitchen as you shut the front door. Birthday decorations scattered across the walls and the floor, balloons tied to the lamps. Joel always told you to not make a big fuss over his birthday but you and Tommy never listened. Surprise parties were your thing you did for him, so it was nice to see Tommy continuing the tradition. This would make surprise party number three for Joel since you started dating him, and it stung a little bit you didn’t think to come down and plan one for him regardless if he deserved it or not.

You walked up the stairs to Joel’s room, pushing the door open slowly before poking your head in. It smelled just the same, the cologne you got him mixed with the faintest hint of laundry soap that he swore up and down was the best. Tossing your bag on his bed and sighing deeply, you ran a hand through your hair as you wondered what the hell were you doing here.

I miss you! Can I see you this weekend, maybe grab a bite at that favorite restaurant of yours down here? You hesitated to hit send, your heart racing in your chest.

Too nervous to sit and wait for his response, you stripped and made your way to his bathroom. The hair soap you swore you left was nowhere to be found. There was Joel’s sitting on the shelf, so what happened to yours? They were pretty full and Joel didn’t like to use yours. A pit grew in your stomach, the confusion eating at you. As you stepped under the warm water, your tears started to flow freely. It was like Joel was slowly erasing you from his life, piece by piece. For what?

You washed your hair quickly and grabbed the body soap and your wash cloth. Your eyes couldn’t help but flick down to where your soap bottles used to sit, anger coursing through you. If he wanted to see other people, he should’ve just been fucking honest. As you dried off and started to get ready, your mind replayed everything that could’ve caused this. Your relationship wasn’t perfect by any means, you fought almost daily a few months ago before he stopped calling so much. It would be over nothing, just Joel being stubborn. He’d bring up your age and how you’d get bored of him, how he’s not the man you want, how you resent him for not wanting to move with you, stuff you’d never say about him. He was the one that was embarrassed of you. He never wanted you to meet his friends, and when he got tired of your begging and pleading, he finally took you out with them to the bar. That was a fucking joke you thought to yourself as you recalled that night from a year ago.

“Joel what the fuck was that? Why didn’t you call me your girlfriend when you introduced me to them?” you questioned as you got out of his truck in his driveway. You slammed the door shut and he groaned loudly from inside the vehicle, climbing out reluctantly. “The hell are you on about? I told ‘em we were datin’, is that not good enough?” He loved doing that thing where he’d spin it back on you and make you feel so stupid for even bringing it up. “Oh my god, no It’s not like that! I just wanted to know why you didn’t tell them I was your girlfriend and have been for a year!” you bursted through the front door and threw off your purse, tossing it to the ground. “Well excuse the hell outta me! I thought it was the same fuckin’ thing!” he shouted, following you through the house to his room. “Why does it matter so much to you? If you’re with me, what’s it matter, huh?” Joel's hands grabbed your arms and forced you to look at him, his face riddled with confusion and anger. “Because, Joel! I love you and you’re fucking embarrassed to show anyone that!” The hot tears were streaming down your face as you tried to fight him to let go. His face finally softened and he sighed. “Baby…”

That was so long ago and here you were now in his room, finding out the man you thought loved you had maybe not wanted you anymore. Finally zipping up your dress, you fixed your hair one last time and checked your makeup. Something came over you and told you to open the bedside table you used to call yours, wondering if anything was touched. The cool wood brushed over your knuckles as you grabbed the knob and pulled gently, bracing yourself for whatever could be in there. All of your old pictures of you two were in a pile, scattered like someone was digging through them from time to time. The one that was your favorite was all the way at the bottom. It was of Joel, in the ocean and he looks gorgeous. That was your first vacation together, you both went to go see Sarah’s soccer game and you snuck away together while she was at practice to go swimming. He told you he’d help you learn how to swim so he took you out so far you almost couldn’t touch and helped you get over your fear of drowning. “I won’t let that happen, ok? I gotcha sweet pea. Don’t be scared, I’m here.” You recalled how his arms wrapped around you and you felt so safe. He looked so ethereal, like he wasn’t real.

You closed the drawer and found your phone buried under your towel on the bed, checking to see if maybe Joel messaged you back. Nothing. There was nothing. A sigh of frustration left your lips and you walked out of Joel’s room, looking for Tommy downstairs. He was in the kitchen getting the drinks and snacks out. “There you are! I made ya a grilled cheese but it got cold, thought ya fell asleep up there girl, been almost two hours.” Tommy’s eyes met yours and he noticed you weren’t your normal self. He gave an apologetic smile and rubbed your back softly, “Cmon, we’ve got about fifteen minutes ‘fore he gets here. Help me with the cake?” You gave Tommy a small smile and nodded, reaching to open the box the cake was in. You both were careful not to bump the box on it and set it on the table for everyone to see. His house filled up rather quickly with people while you were upstairs for those couple hours, which to you felt like minutes.

“Everyone get down, he’s here!” someone shouted from the living room and suddenly the lights went out, leaving you standing in pure darkness. Tommy tugged your arm and you snapped out of the transe you were in, crouching down in front of the kitchen table. The front door swung open and there he was, your man. The broad shoulders on the silhouette made your breath hitch and your knees weak. Immediately the lights went on and everyone popped out shouting happy birthday. Joel’s face lit up with a smile and the little confetti poppers went off, small rainbow bits of paper cascading down to the floor in front of him. He was met with many hugs as everyone crowded him, leaving you by the table by yourself. You couldn’t bring yourself to go up there to him, not in front of all these people. Small conversations were forming as Joel was finally making his way out of the clump of bodies, his beautiful brown eyes locking with yours.

“H-happy birthday.” you stated quieter than you wanted. His arm dropped to his side as his smile slowly faded, walking over to you. “What’re you doin’ here?” Joel asked harshly. Was that all he had to say? A lump grew in your throat and your mouth went dry. “Tommy um, Tommy invited me.” Great, now you were stuttering and tripping over your words. Joel was now toe to toe with you, his expression not changing. “Oh” he muttered sarcastically and nodded. Tears stung your eyes at his cold tone and you knew you couldn’t deal with this all night. “Listen, I’ll go if you want me to, just tell me…but if I walk out that door Joel, we’re done. I can’t do this anymore and by the looks of it, you don’t want to do it either. You’ve practically hidden every single memory of me or gotten rid of it and for what?” your eyes were overfilled with tears as they threatened to spill from the outer corners and Joel's head snapped away, his jaw clenching at the silence you shared.

“Yeah, I want you to leave. We’re done.” He didn’t even have the fucking decency to look at you when he said it, when he plunged the knife into your heart. There was nothing more you could say to him to see how hurt you were, how much you wanted him to beg you to stay. You wanted him to tell you why he’d been acting this way for months and why he felt so comfortable acting like you meant nothing to him after three years. You pushed passed him and ran up the stairs to gather your bag. He didn’t deserve you, and that was so clear now. He didn’t deserve all the late nights you stayed up with him and assured him Sarah wouldn’t find out about you two. How many vacations you took him on just to get him out of Texas. He didn’t deserve all the brand new things you introduced him to. Most importantly, he didn’t deserve the amount of patience you had with him. He was as stubborn as a fucking mule, but not once did you ever think about giving up on him like he was doing to you right now.

Mascara was running down your face as you practically sprinted to your car, your bag flailing behind you. You dropped your car keys trying to unlock your trunk and you lost it. You leaned against the trunk with your hands covering your face, sobbing your heart out. You gave him everything, you gave him all of you. “Wait, don’t go..” Joel shouted out of breath as he ran down the sidewalk. You looked up at him through blurry eyes, that burning anger igniting in your stomach once more. “No, fuck you! I’m leaving. I told you if you let me walk out that door we were done and what did you do? YOU LET ME LEAVE!” your voice echoed between the houses but you didn’t care anymore. “You’re nothing but a selfish asshole, Joel. I should’ve known better than to think you wouldn’t break my heart. Fuck you, just go.”

His arms engulfed you and you beat your fists on his chest, crying harder than you were before. Joel’s grip on you tightened as he pulled you in close, shushing you quietly. “Stop, just stop. Shhh” he whispered and petted the back of your head softly. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, sweet pea. I think I just got so busy with work and you with getting adjusted in your new place, we were like ships passing in the night.” Joel’s hands cupped your face, his thumb swiping away your tears. “You don’t just give up and act like I don’t exist Joel! Why would you do that to me?!” you demanded and looked at him through tear clumped lashes. “I thought it was easier for you! Jus’ let me prove to you I can be a better man to you, darlin. Please, I need you. I’ve been so lonely without you.” Joel’s tone softened as his voice cracked, a tear falling down his face.

“This is what I’ve been wanting to hear for months. I need some space. I can’t keep doing this shit, Joel. Happy birthday.” You placed a photo of you and him in his hand that you swiped from the drawer earlier. A croak of your name left his lips before you walked away and climbed into your car. You looked at him one last time in the rearview mirror as he stood there staring at everything he just fucked up. He needed to sit with what he’d done, and you had a lot to think about on your drive back home.