#avoiding confrontation

[furiousgoldfish]

for the abused children life is just being tortured and broken for most inane things like being sad or needing attention or making a face someone doesn't like, and then when you despite all efforts grow up, you're supposed to suddenly know how to stand up for yourself?? you're supposed to negotiate your salary?? tell people OFF?? without feeling like you will be crushed to the inch of your life if you even look at someone wrong?? what on the gods good earth

[lonelyfox16]

Coach beard waiting till the literal plane door closes to avoid confrontation is literally me.

[katiekovaleski]

The Art of Confrontation: Resolving Conflict Through Direct Communication

Introduction:

The idea of confrontation is frequently seen as unpleasant and threatening, conjuring up images of contentious debates and strained relationships. Confrontation has a particular significance in the context of mental therapy. It turns into a crucial instrument for development, self-awareness, and recovery. The art of confrontation in therapy involves deftly handling challenging discussions with empathy and candour, producing dramatic results for people seeking mental wellbeing. In this essay, we'll examine the effectiveness of therapeutic conflict and how it can foster growth and emotional healing.

Therapeutic Confrontation: An Understanding

Confrontation is the process of openly addressing and debating delicate subjects or troubling behaviours that impede human development in the context of mental treatment. It gives the therapist the chance to help the patient gain a deeper comprehension of their feelings, thoughts, and behavioural patterns. Instead of placing blame or passing judgement, therapeutic confrontation aims to create a secure environment where the client and therapist can both explore their vulnerabilities and collaborate on effective change.

The advantages of conflict:

Confrontation exposes blind spots and helps people recognise and accept elements of themselves that they might have previously avoided or ignored. This promotes self-awareness. Clients can better understand their emotions, motivations, and underlying problems causing their mental health troubles by addressing uncomfortable realities.

Overcoming defence mechanisms: To protect themselves from emotional suffering, many people adopt defence mechanisms. However, these techniques frequently prevent real interactions and personal development. These obstacles can be broken down by skillful confrontation, allowing clients to explore their vulnerabilities and create more effective coping mechanisms.

promoting emotional development: By confronting unhelpful behaviours, mental patterns, and belief systems, confrontation can promote significant emotional development. People can develop new ways of thinking, feeling, and reacting to life's obstacles by looking at the causes of these patterns and working through them.

Confrontation can initially be uncomfortable, but it ultimately enhances the therapeutic partnership between the client and the therapist. Building trust and making clients feel supported on their path to recovery through open and honest communication. The therapeutic relationship transforms into a secure setting where people can communicate their worries, annoyances, and aspirations without worrying about being judged.

The Practise of Effective Confrontation:

Competence, sensitivity, and respect for the client's particular experiences are necessary for effective therapeutic confrontation. Here are some important factors to think about:

Making a safe space: Confrontations that are beneficial require the creation of a safe, judgment-free atmosphere. Throughout the process, clients must feel listened, understood, and appreciated.

Therapy staff members need to actively listen to their patients, picking up on both verbal and nonverbal clues. This enables them to comprehend the client's viewpoint more thoroughly and adjust their strategy as a result.

Empathy and compassion: It's crucial to approach conflict with empathy and compassion. It fosters an atmosphere where clients can explore their vulnerabilities without worrying about rejection or criticism by making them feel supported and understood.

Pacing and timing: Confrontation should be handled delicately and at the appropriate time. While delaying confrontation may impede growth, rushing into difficult subjects can overwhelm customers. Based on each person's level of readiness, skilled therapists decide when and how quickly to have a confrontation.

Conclusion:

In mental therapy, the art of confrontation is a potent instrument for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery. Therapists help people build healthier coping mechanisms, self-awareness, and emotional growth by deftly tackling difficult topics. Clients can explore their vulnerabilities in a secure environment during therapeutic confrontation, which also strengthens the therapeutic partnership and challenges dysfunctional patterns. As people master the art of conflict, they start a transforming process.

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[insanethrottlebikernews]

HOW NOT TO GET A BLACK EYE AT A BIKER BAR **FULL VIDEO**

#BIKER #BIKERBAR #MOTORCYCLESWe’ve all known those people who come into a biker bar that you know are out of place. They are the same people who try to act like something they’re not by trying to fit in. Problem is these new bikers make a ton of mistakes that could land them into getting a black eye. This video is about HOW NOT TO GET A BLACK EYE AT A BIKER BAR 00:00 Yes we’ve all seen this type…

[sensitiveheartless]

(The rest is under the readmore!)

(Next part) ->

[anirritant]

pmd2 darkrai is funny to me why is he like that

[papercutslut]

"I still love ya"

[vodid]

zero's pressure

[alwaysbewoke]

the lies white people tell themselves to escape accountability and a real adult conversation on race, racism and history is just so sad smfh

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[canisalbus]

What is the one thing that bothers each other on their lover?

Not huge icks, but small bothers?

Vasco can be forgetful and a bit irresponsible. And even if he means well, he sometimes comes across inconsiderate, he just doesn't always think things through. He's usually very sure of himself, stubborn and resistant to accepting advice if he thinks he knows what he's doing. Occasionally he misreads the situation and his attempts to lighten the mood misfire so severely, it's like he's incapable taking things seriously.

Machete has a nitpicky control freak side to him that gets more pronounced when he's stressed. He's prone to bottling up his emotions and then feeling misunderstood when people can't read his mind. He finds a way to blame himself for everything and is a chronic over-apologizer.

[podcastenthusiast]

The way BG3 approaches revenge is so interesting. It never says anyone is wrong to kill someone who's done them harm, but it does say that doing so alone won't fix the trauma.

Aylin just feels empty after killing Lorroakan. Astarion admits killing Cazador didn't feel how he expected it would either; he feels numb for a while and it changes his perspective on things. Karlach kills Gortash and it isn't satisfying, because he never felt sorry for the life he took from her and now she has to grapple with how little she has left.

Again, they weren't wrong to crave that catharsis and the safety it brings them. But revenge is never the end of healing. It's only the beginning. Choosing to live again is maybe the best revenge there is.

[atelierlili]

Katniss is the kind of person to invite Peeta over for dinner and tell no one (except maybe Prim) then get pissed off when someone asks why he’s here. (Because she invited him, dummy 🤬)

Eventually people just stop asking why Peeta’s following her around like a puppy in fear of retaliation. Even when he comes stumbling out from her bedroom in the morning and continues to do so for the next thirty years.

[guardian-angle22]

911: Lone Star | Carlos "I Don't Avoid" Reyes

[s0fter-sin]

soapghost circus au

ghost’s an extreme motorcycle stunt performer - globe of death, riding on his back wheel along tightropes, that sort of thing

soap’s a fire breather/dancer. he’s a roaming performer; he just finds empty spaces or bored people and starts twirling

he pretends not to notice the way he always wanders towards a certain tent every night to watch a certain masked daredevil defy gravity. he thinks he's slick and that ghost won't notice him in the crowd, completely forgetting that he's carrying something that happens to be on fire

ghost couldn't miss him if he tried

one day off, soap's trialing fire whips; he loves the loud crack and the way the flame licks through the air and maybe he's a little too impatient to practice with non flaming whips first, even though he's never used one before

he's covered in soot and fine welts where the tip of the whip keeps flicking back up at him, cutting through his shirt and stinging his skin but he doesn't let that stop him. it starts to stick to him, damp with sweat and blood and he's quick to strip it off; throwing it to the side to keep practicing

when soap finally gets a few good cracks in a row and breaks to celebrate, he almost jumps out of his skin when he sees the masked rider leaning against a trailer watching him

of all the times he's wanted ghost to talk to him, this is not one of them

he wanted to impress him, dance for him with his flaming batons and be mesmerised by his fluidity and skill

not catch him filthy and struggling with something as basic as a whip

he's ready for ghost to ream him out for not having control over the whip - he's known throughout the circuit for expecting utter perfection in his routines - but when ghost finally does speak, it's only to ask if he's done for the day

soap falters for a moment. he wanted to get some consistency with the whip before he stopped, but he's starting to feel the hours of practice; muscles aching and skin blistered with minor burns

he says he is and ghost pushes off the trailer, nodding his head to make soap follow. he brings him back to his trailer and tells him to clean up then takes out his personal med kit to treat the grazes on soap's skin

soap's shocked; for all that he loves to watch ghost perform, they've never really talked before

part of why he joined the circus was so he wouldn't be a burden on anyone, the oldest in a family with too many mouths to feed and not even time to nurture, and here he is taking up ghost's valuable practice time bc he wasn't good enough to handle his own discipline. he tries to brush him off, downplaying the burns and tries to leave before half them can be treated but ghost just glares and orders him to sit back down

ghost does expect perfection from himself but it isn’t out of any malice or ego; it's bc he knows if he isn't perfect, he could very easily die. he’s picked a dangerous profession and he gives it the respect it deserves. there isn't any shame in being a novice or failing at something; he thinks there's a lot of beauty in having the courage to get back up again and again

so every day he watches soap practice and bullies him into his trailer to put him back together bc he knows he won't do it by himself

and every night soap wanders over to ghost's section of the fair grounds, in awe of his skill and wishing he could be worthy of the care he gives him