#auntie bellatrix

[incorrect-malfoys]

Bellatrix: Goodnight, Draco

Draco: Goodnight, Auntie Bellatrix

Bellatrix: Goodnight monster that eats children who are bad

Rodolphus, through a walkie-talkie under the bed: GOODNIGHT

[miss-grimwood]

“I love your drawing. Is that a cat?”

‘I love your drawing.’ Bellatrix said. ‘Is that a cat?’

Draco frowned at her. ‘It’s papa.’

‘Oh.’ Bellatrix tried to hide her laugh, turning to Narcissa for guidance on how to respond to Draco. It had been easy when he was a baby, just hold him and keep him safe, but now he was a toddler, she was completely out of her depth.

‘It’s very good, dragon,’ Narcissa assured him, ‘papa will love it.’

Bellatrix and Rodolphus shared a glance across the room.

They definitely weren’t ready to be parents.

[malfoyfeed]

Draco: I'm bored.

Bellatrix: me too.

... Silence

Also Bellatrix: let's go bother your father.

[arbre-mes-espaces]

Yes, I am the hysterical, unstable bitch that will eat your children for dinner.

Bellatrix Lestrange, probably.

[daughterofyourdarklord]

What is first war Delphi’s biggest fear then?

It was horribly loud. 

The little witch jumps up, she and the elf both startling at the bang. Violent voices are quick to follow, booming down the corridors. An eerie magic descends upon the estate, something Delphini has never felt before. It surrounds the castle grounds as though keeping something out - or someone in. 

“You stay here, Mistress Delphi. Tippy will go check on the visitors..” The house-elf disappears in a pop. 

Something isn’t right. More screams follow, deafening bangs as if furniture is being strewn about. 

The little witch takes a few hesitant steps backwards. The noise seems to be getting closer, frantic footsteps echoing down the hall. There’s another bang, this time right against the door. 

Delphi darts, hiding behind the expansive desk papa had just sat at days ago. Mama left to go find him… To make sure the bad guys didn’t have him... She’d left Delphini alone with the elf late last night.

The little witch peers around the desk, watching as the handle to the door abruptly turns. 

“Delphini!” 

It’s Mama! 

She’s up and running to Bella in a flash. Quickly, her mother slams the door shut. Delphini can still hear the echoing shouts of Uncle Rody, the screams of other wizards she does not recognize. 

“Mama!” She yelps, catapulting into anxious arms. She has so many questions but is far too frightened to voice them. There’s banging again, someone else is trying to get into their room. 

Her mother’s wand is hot from use, perched protectively against Delphi’s back. Bellatrix smells like smoke, her magic buzzing around her more frantic than Delphini has ever felt it before.

Mama’s scared.

Delphini doesn’t know what to do. 

Hastily, Bellatrix surges forward towards the large windows. She’s favoring her left leg. Delphini notices blood seeping down the back of her robes. Something is very wrong.  

“There’s wards!” A gruff voice shouts just on the other side of the door. 

Delphini is locked in her mother’s arms, head tucked against a slender shoulder as she watches with wide eyes as four wizards barrel into their rooms. 

The bad guys…They found us! 

She’s frozen in fear but mummy is not. With a wave of mama’s wand the windows along the back of the room shatter, it’s a steep drop to the grass below. She thinks mama is about to jump but something stops her. Before Delphini can process it, a wave of red flies by, Bellatrix twists them out of the way just in time. 

“There’s a child!” One of them screams, her mother’s hold is near suffocating. In a flash Bella's wand is raised and ready, eyes bouncing from one Auror to another. Several more of them begin to funnel into the room.   

“Don’t you move, Bellatrix!” A new angry wizard screams - he only has one eye. More wands than Delphini can count are pointing at them now. “There’s no escape - the manor is surrounded, there’s an anti-apparition ward cast over the entire estate. It's over.” 

Her mother is panting, heart racing so loud Delphini can hear it. The little witch’s eyes immediately fill with tears, so gripped with fear she can’t manage a sound. Slowly she turns in her mother's arms to get a better glimpse of these monsters. Bellatrix reaches up to shield her face, turning to try and hide her from view.

“There is no record of a Lestrange child… We weren’t briefed on this.” The youngest of the bunch speaks up, his teeth sharp. 

“Put that girl down.” 

Another steps closer. Bellatrix flinches away, arms protective around Delphini. She grips her mother’s robes tightly in return, her own arms shaking around Bella’s neck.

“Put her down, Bellatrix. No one else needs to get hurt today.”

Her mother responds with a savage curse.

Two of them are on the ground before Delphini can catch up, the rest on the defensive. A stray hex manages to slip through her mother’s shields, cutting along her sleeve and leaving a line of blood in its wake. 

“You can’t duel her! There's a child-” 

The one-eyed Auror growls in response, quickly sending another of her mother’s cursing spiraling back at them. Bella ducks, bringing them to the ground. The curse shatters a different window, glass spraying across the room.

Delphini sobs as shards rain down upon them. 

“Give us the girl, Bellatrix!” 

Mummy is crying too, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.  

The only thing standing between them and the near infinite number of Aurors is her father’s large ornate desk. 

Time stops, no one is sure how to react. Bellatrix lets out a shuddering breath, her hold around Delphini strengthening. 

She’s up again, a powerful curse soaring through the study and slamming into three of the closest Aurors. She's turning, a perfect blockade of defensive spells cast to protect their exit- Bella’s back leg gives out on her. The seeping blood from earlier now pooling beneath mummy’s robes. Another sob.

The next thing to go flying is her mother’s wand. It almost happens in slow motion, Delphini’s eyes following the arc of the wand before it lands in one of the wizard’s open hands. 

“It’s done, Bellatrix.” Before she can try and run again they have her ankles bound, knees crashing against the floor Delphini had just been playing on. She gasps, still clinging to her mama, shielding her tears against Bella’s collarbone. 

This can’t be happening. 

Angry feet hurry forward. She can feel mummy’s nails digging into her back. 

“Don’t touch her.” Bellatrix spits, her arms impossibly tight. Delphini is too terrified to look. 

“Hand the girl over.” 

Delphini feels a strange hand probing her shoulder, Bellatrix twists, freeing her daughter from the man's grasp with a vicious snarl.  

“No!” Several more step forward, rough hands along her mother’s shoulders. “No!” Wandless magic sends one of them backwards, slamming into the ornate desk. “No!” Delphi isn’t sure who is screaming, her or mummy. “No!” One has Delphini by the back of her dress. “Please - don’t!” 

“Mama!” She shrieks, little hands tearing at Bellatrix’s robes as she is ripped out of her mother's arms.

Her mind refuses to process it, arms still stretching out, reaching as hard as she can for mama. Slowly, she sees the horror creeping into her mother's eyes. Bellatrix looks as terrified as Delphini feels. Vaguely, she feels an unfamiliar arm wrap around her stomach.

The world comes crashing in on her all at once.

“NO!”

The little witch thinks she might be screaming but it seems so hard to hear anything at all. 

Distantly, she's aware she's wailing against the wizard who is still struggling to get a grip on her. Slamming her little fists all over him, sharp nails and harmful bursts of magic wherever she can reach. 

Delphini has never been so frightened.

“Don’t you touch her! She belongs with my father! With Cygnus Black! You take her to him - he’s her legal guardian!!” 

Her mother’s tormented voice is just about the only thing she can process amongst the chaos. Tears stream down Delphini’s face so aggressively she can hardly see.

She thinks she might be screaming for Bellatrix - for her father. She might just be screaming.  

Her captor is walking them towards the door, away from mummy, away from their rooms. 

Delphini turns, horrified eyes desperate for Bella. Seven Auror’s are holding her mama back. She watches as one of them kicks her mother hard in the stomach, the witch finally doubling over. 

“She’s a ward of the Wizarding State now, Bellatrix.” The Auror abducting her declares. Delphini almost doesn’t hear him over the ringing in her ears. “The Ministry will be charged to oversee her placement following your trial.” 

Her mother’s screams are the last thing Delphini will remember. 

[twopenguinsinabox]

Plot Bunny: Voldemort discovers Harry is a horcrux early (confirmed through psychic connection by the end of 5th year) and assigns Bellatrix to guard duty even after she murders Sirius. This somehow doesn't go as terribly as everyone expects when the two get trapped somewhere in Siberia approximately 3 million years in the past and go on the world's worst camping trip while trying to get home.

Featuring: Harry's complexes about food scarcity and cooking, Bellatrix being crazy enough to refuse to quit long after everyone else would, Bellatrix filling the Aunt role that Petunia should have, and the redemption arc that I feel like most "mad" female characters never get.

I think this was actually inspired by ObsidianPen's No Glory, where my natural response to seeing how much Harry hates Bellatrix is wondering what it would take for the two to reconcile.

The scene that lives rent-free in my brain is Harry refusing to cook for Bellatrix while they're in the wild, because after the Dursleys' he's sworn to never make food for people he hates. There is a lot of Harry trying to dart off into the bushes somewhere, nearly getting eaten by a bear and then Bellatrix having to drag him bodily back to safety because that's what Voldemort told her to do, even when he can't physically be there.

This is definitely a "forced cohabitation" trope, and I refuse to feel sorry for it. Bellatrix is, for the first time, forced to look at and care for someone she's victimized as a Death Eater, while also coming to terms with the fact that even after fourteen years in Azkaban, her only remaining family still doesn't want her. Harry, on the other hand, needs her, and that binds her to him in a way that she's never succeeded in bonding with even Narcissa or Draco.

For Harry, this is his first real insight into why someone would willingly choose to follow Voldemort, as well as learning how to move beyond hatred. Bellatrix's murder of Sirius teaches him how to harness enough hatred for the cruciatus, and his eventual forgiveness teaches him how not to drown in his own anger.

When the pair eventually return to their own world, Harry gets the benefit of an adult prioritizing his safety for the first time in forever, while Bellatrix finally has someone who isn't literally Voldemort to turn to for companionship, as well as some hesitance to continue the mindless torture and slaughter of their enemies, because now every potential victim is a potential Harry and that frightens her.

Not sure how this would end, but IDK, I really like Harry/Bellatrix interactions in most fic and I'd love to write something just expanding on their relationship in-depth.

[onewizardgirl]

Reasons poppy is minervas bestie and girlfriend

Pain potion

Minerva was never this unfocused on her lessons. But her stupid period just came on moments before her double lesson with her first years and she hasn't had a break to go to her love and get a pain potion to alleviate any of her discomfort, nor has she had a chance to get an actual pad on, so a spell was currently what was keeping green robes from being ruined.

"Good job, ms evans! Ten points to gryffindor," minerva said watching as lily turned a feather into a needle first try.

"Lily, you may work on another spell if you wish or you may do work for one of the other professors, the rest of you continue working on your feathers," minerva told, sitting at her desk as she graded papers and attempted to focus herself, next hour was lunch for all students and staff, which relieved minerva greatly, but it was only thirty minutes into her double transfiguration with her first year students.

Soon a folded bit of parchment floated into her classroom by an open window.

On the letter was poppy's neat handwriting

Minerva dearest, it has come to my attention that your time of the month is due, and knowing you, it is likely already bothering you by the time you read this little note, i will have a potion ready upon your arrival at lunch and if you need anything you know where to find my supply cupboard. After dinner, I'll have a bath ready in our chambers so you can relax.

Your love, poppy

Upon reading the note poppy sent, minerva smiled a weak smile but wrote a note back to poppy before getting into her second transfiguration task which would be to turn a book into a hot water bottle, this would also be part of tomorrows lesson but since she had a double block now she wanted to start it today after the feather spell.

Minerva scribbled down her response to poppy

Dearest poppy, i thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and loyalty knowing how nasty my time of month can get, im struggling to get through my double class with my first years, being a female sucks hairy bollocks. With the hope that this class passes quickly, i will see you soon my dear

Best regards, Minerva

She folded it and sent it to poppy with a silent woosh out the window.

As she had planned she got the students started on a useful spell of making a book a hot water bottle, so they could get one without having to leave bed to fill it with hot water.

"Students if you will put away your wands and set your feathers aside. The second spell i will teach today is how to transfigure a book i to a hot water bottle. This is handy when you want to cuddle up to something warm but don't feel like filling your own. The spell incantation is the same as you were using for the feather aside from some minor changes, as always i would like you to write five uses for turning a book into a hot water bottle and then i shall demonstrate and let you practice." Minerva explained

Her students dipped quills and began to write their answer to her question down, they would get a grade for this assignment as it was part of transfiguration theory.

Minerva graded a few essays from her elder students before a small group of students came up to hand in their papers. She started marking them instead, young lily's being the top one on the stack.

Minerva read over, seeing typical answers like warming the bed in winter, making a teddy feel warm and inviting and so on, what shocked minerva was the last few sentences.

The fifth and final use i will discuss for this spell is use for alleviating cramps caused by a witches menstrual bleeding. This spell creates a warm compress that upon use can relieve pain caused by muscle contractions in the uterus as it tries to rid the body of unused blood and tissue. As research has shown this spell is often a witch's favorite spell during the ages of 11 and 60 when menstruation occurs.

Lily had quite a good head on her shoulders and was very knowledgeable for being a first year and a muggleborn at that.

Minerva grinned lightly at lily's writing, and continued to mark the papers until everyone had handed them in.

"If i have everyone's papers, i will proceed to demonstration," minerva said

Luckily for her. The class seemed to go by quickly after she let the students begin practicing reciting the incantation and wand motion.

Soon after the last student had left her classroom after the lesson minerva was packing up her things trying to think of which teacher could cover her 4th year and 6th year lessons.

When she stood from her desk she grumbled, feeling the sensation of her leaking far worse than earlier.

She needed a moment to get down to the hospital wing, so she scourgified the blood on her knickers and headed off, green robes billowing behind her as she walked in dior need to make it to the hospital wing across the school before she begun to leave a trail of blood down the corridor.

She didn't think to stop by moaning myrtle’s bathroom to clean up, she just wanted to see poppy so her cramps would ease.

So with her mind set on hee destination she would keep cleaning the trail of blood threatening down her legs until she finally got to the hospital wing and quickly made her way into poppy's personal quarters and to her lavatory.

Cleaning up quietly and putting on a pad like she should've earlier, she finally makes her way toward poppy, who was currently healing a student that had been on the revolving staircase and fell through a trick stair and down nearly four flights of stone steps.

"Minnie i swear if albus doesnt find a way to warn students of those trick steps ill have his head, this is the third fall this week, and the worst one at that. I had one come in fell only one flight down, another that had fallen going up and had fell through headfirst, and then poor miss lovegood here who fell through the step and then took a rough tumble down the other four flights after she'd fell throgh."

The student currently being healed was pandora lovegood, a 6th year ravenclaw. Smart as a whip but the revolving stairs hated her for some odd reason, they had landed her a spot in the hospital wing more times than sirius black and his pranks with james and remus.

Lovegood was currently sleeping, so minerva said to poppy quietly,

"Thank you for the potion, i need to go now for my 4th years, and i think ill skip dinner so be a tad early love," minerva whispered punctuating her statement with a very light kiss on poppy's cheek before letting her robes billow out of the room behind her long stride

----------------

After minerva's fifth year class she made her way down to poppy.

" ... here you are mr black, do not worry, your secret's safe with me, i advise telling your friends though, they'll understand," minerva heard poppy tell sirius.

"Will you ask professor mcgonagall to sort something out?" He asked

"Yes my dear boy, if everything works out you'll be in the boy's dormitory within a week," poppy said minerva hid in the doors large shadow before stepping in after sirius had left.

"Minnie my love! There's a hot bath awaiting you in our chambers, ill be in momentarily, i just need to check on young ms lovegood," poppy told

Minerva continue back to their chambers after poppy leaned over to press a sweet and quick kiss to minerva's lips.

When minerva got into the bathroom she removed her robes and put them in the laundry bin she then lowered herself into the pool sized bathtub that was notably smaller than the prefects but still quite large. She submerge her body in the warm water, and swam a leisurely lap across the tub before returning to her sitting alcove in the corner next to a bewitched window that reflected a gorgeous and clear night sky.

Poppy retired to her and minerva's rooms to take care of her wife after she assured that everyone was sleeping that was under her care, making sure her movement detection spells were properly calibrated before she finally closes the door to her chambers.

Poppy lazily joined minerva in the bath and assisted her wife in washing long ebony locks, before putting them both in cozy pajamas and cuddling minerva all night with so much love and care that minerva cried the next morning, curse those damn hormones.

[hotpinkboots]

I just read your Aunty Bella fictions and I LOVE IT!!!

There is so little soft!Bellatrix content😭.

Could you maybe wright a fic where her niece gets injured and Bellatrix goes ballistic. I feel like she is incredibly protective and fierce when it comes to her Sister and Niece 🥺

~~~~~

~"ᴀᴠᴀᴅᴀ ᴋᴇᴅᴀᴠʀᴀ"~

(Bellatrix x Niece!Reader)

I genuinely had the time of my life writing this, I haven't written action in awhile! Thank you for the request, darling :D

Summary: Bellatrix gets revenge for her niece.

Note(s): There's a bit of comfort at the end because Bella loves her niece <<<3

Warning(s): Abuse, violence, implied murder, angst, Reader is in a toxic relationship, Bellatrix takes care of it dw. Don't like it? Don't read it. You are responsible for your own content consumption.

~~~~~

You hadn't said a word of your abusive partner to your mother. There were some things that felt awkward to discuss with Narcissa. It wasn't that you didn't trust your mother, it's just that, well...she was your mother. She was too mature to see things from your level, and while her advice most definitely would've been helpful and rational, it made you feel more seen to talk to somebody with more fire in her eyes about the situation.

But, at the moment, all you wanted was to lie in bed and cry. Your body hurt- most of all, the right side of your face. The person who was supposed to be your partner had struck you. There was a painful heat in your chest, your heart had a dull ache, squeezing and thumping in your ribcage. Your brain was in a state of panic and overdrive, signaling to your body that it was in danger, causing your hands to tremble. When you arrived to your room, you shut the door, changed, and flopped down in bed, defeated and tired.

An hour later, you heard gentle taps upon your door, it sounded as though somebody had drummed their nails quietly rather than knocked. You responded with a weary, "Come in."

The door opened to reveal Bellatrix trotting in. She looked disheveled, as though she had just returned from a night full of chaos and bloody murder, eyes manic with delight. "Hi, darling!-"

Her mouth snapped shut the moment she saw the poor state you were in.

You began to greet her.

She cut you off.

"Who did it."

Oh, damn, your black eye. You didn't want her to find out. Your hand quickly reached up to cover it, but your Aunt was quicker. She caught your wrist and stared down at you with her expression stone cold.

"Tell me who did it," she breathed. Bellatrix forced the corners of her lips to twitch upwards into a smile, a failed attempt to reassure you. Her eyes were cold and full of nothing but pure, seething hatred for who dared to lay a hand on her niece.

You suddenly understood why she was one of the most feared witches in history. Although her fury wasn't directed at you, the way she was looking at you made you feel as though she was about to hunt you for sport. You swallowed nervously and averted your gaze. "My... partn-"

Partner.

Bellatrix didn't need to hear the rest, that answer was all she needed. She let go of your wrist, turned on heel, and swiftly stormed out of your room.

...Then stormed right back when she realized she didn't know where to look for them.

"Which house are they in?" She demanded bluntly, nudging your chin so she could see your swollen eye. Bellatrix continued to question you until she had a clear idea of how your partner looked. She kissed your forehead and grabbed your hand, pulling you up and dragging you along behind her. You stumbled after her, brain fuzzy and confused. "Aunt Bella, please, just- let it go-"

"NO!"

Bellatrix screamed. Her hoarse howl frightened you. You flinched back, hands protectively covering your heart in fear.

Oh, poor baby. Bellatrix softened, and quickly grabbed your cheeks to press an uncountable amount of kisses to your forehead in apology. She pulled away and gave a gentle pat to your left cheek. "Let me fix it, lovey, you're alright."

She shooed you away, telling you to go and ice your eye, that she would take care of everything for you. What choice did you have? You mentally couldn't handle anything else tonight. You kissed your Aunt on the cheek, and left to take care of your injury and rest. You fidgeted nervously. What horrid crime would your Aunt commit now? Usually, you cheered her on. Tonight, you knew that your so-called "partner", was in terrible danger.

~~~~~

Meanwhile, Bellatrix was on the prowl. She apparated as close to Hogwarts as she could. Her insides felt as though they were tearing each other apart with violent, boiling rage. It was difficult for her to stay quiet. She wanted to lash out, claw apart the walls with her bare hands, shatter every window, and stab every student.

She quietly made her way in, though she didn't care if she was caught. As if they think they could do anything about me, anyway, she thought arrogantly with a scoff under her breath. Her heels clicked quietly on the floor as she made her way through Hogwarts to the Ravenclaw common room. The paintings suddenly began to awaken and make a terrible commotion to alert of Bellatrix's intrusion.

Bellatrix didn't care- she was on autopilot, numb to anything around her, driven by revenge, a mindless killing machine. She crept in, tearing open the drapes of each bed and staring intensely at each sleeping student, until she spotted somebody who looked like the exact image of who you had described.

"You," she whispered, raising her wand. She reared her head back, her mess of curls falling over her back. Students groggily began lifting their heads when they heard the commotion of the paintings, followed by quick footsteps running down the hall, most definitely the Professors on their way to stop whatever madness she was to conjure upon them.

Bellatrix was quicker. Her lips drew back in an animalistic snarl. This child didn't deserve to die quickly. That was too merciful. She wanted to see their eyes grow dazed with agony. She wanted to see them shuddering, writhing and sobbing.

"Crucio," she sneered.

Students began to scatter. Dumbledore ran into the room, wand at the ready. Bellatrix breathed heavily, unable to contain her wretched satisfaction. She had to finish the job quickly, before she was confronted. The student who used to be your former partner had come to meet their demise. Bellatrix's tone was guttural, dripping with raw wrath. The walls themselves seemed to tremble as she screamed,

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

~~~~~

You were curled up in an armchair, a cold compress over your swollen shut eye. Your expression was vacant, thinking hard on the lingering pain and fear that bit at your heart. How could somebody who loved you hurt you in such a way? How could-

"(Y/N)? Sweetie?"

You looked over your shoulder wearily.

There stood your Aunt, wearing the biggest grin, arms outstretched towards you. She bent over and hugged you, kissing the top of your head a few times. You leaned into her warmth, reaching one arm up to return the hug, your other still holding the ice pack against your eye. "Hi," you greeted hoarsely.

Bellatrix pulled back and squeezed your shoulder lovingly. "They're gone, darling, you're safe. I took care of it."

You frowned. "What do you mean, "you took care of it"?"

Bellatrix scoffed. "Don't be daft, you know what I mean! They're dead, silly!"

Of course. What did you expect? While you felt a brief pang of guilt for the death of your former partner, it was quickly put out by satisfaction. Your face brightened. "Thank you!"

Bellatrix gave a delighted hum in response, ruffling your hair. She was already planning on teaching you a certain spell so you could learn to take care of situations like this yourself one day.

~~~~~

FAMILY BONDING TIME WITH MURDER 🤩!!!11!1 Might write a fic following this one where Bella teaches the Reader to use crucio and avada kedavera bc we love evil families here

Request Guidelines!

~Love, HotPinkBoots

Likes < Reblogs! Thank you for the support :D!

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Draco Malfoy, twelve years old, who sees his father sneak a small book into eleven year old Ginny Weasley’s cauldron at the bookshop.

Draco, who recalls seeing it before at the Manor and knows very well this book is important for the Dark Lord.

Draco, who steals the book back and sneaks it into his pocket while his father isn’t watching.

Fast forwards a few years to Draco’s sixth year at Hogwarts, when he’s on his mission to assassin Dumbledore, a task he’s been given by the Dark Lord himself.

Draco Malfoy, who gets caught in the hallways one night and dragged by the ear into professor Slughorn’s ongoing party, at the hands of Filch. Draco, who overhears a snippet of Snape’s conversation with Slughorn and Harry Potter himself.

Draco, who can’t help but gain suspicion when he learns that Harry Potter is suddenly a master in potion making, which would explain how he managed to win the Polyjuice potion earlier that year…

Draco, who remembers sneaking a glance at Potter’s Potions book and seeing scribbles all over it, and slowly connecting the dots.

Another suspicious book at the hands of Harry Potter. Draco suddenly worrying about the horrors the things written in this book could do…

Draco realising that he could use said horrors to his advantage, and at the same time manage to steal the book from Potter and make sure he won’t do anything he’ll regret with it (not that Draco’s worried, or anything. Simply curious.)

Draco, who one way or another manages to steal the book one day, flipping through the pages while his eyes widen.

Draco finding a curse he definitely wouldn’t mind to use…

And then…

Drarry microfic (Angst) by @yourlocalbadgerscales ~ Sectumsempra

“I know you’re up to something, Malfoy!”

Draco spins around, suddenly alarmed by the voice behind him, a voice he knows more than well… he doesn’t even have the time to wipe the tears off of his face as he turns his back to the sink.

“Tell me.” Potter slowly takes a few steps further into the bathroom, and when Draco grabs a hold of his wand and points it at his face, at those unfairly green eyes, Potter does that same with his. “Tell me what you did to Katie! And to Ron!” Potter looks… shook. He staring at Draco with confusion rather than anger written all over his face. And Draco hasn’t even started revealed anything to him yet. Not that he’s planning to.

Draco has had enough. He casts a silent but strong spell Potter’s way, and a lamp explodes behind the other boy. Potter gasps, waving his wand through the air and aiming a spell of his own right at Draco, who blocks it with ease. His breathing is fast and loud in his ears as he sends a spell to make the bins behind Potter explode, completely ignoring the loud cries from Myrtle. Potter, for some reason, is still silent while fighting.

Potter’s next spell misses, he trips, and Draco doesn’t hesitate a second. He lifts his wand.

“Crucio!”

And even now, Potter doesn’t scream. Draco learns why pretty soon.

Potter lies on the floor, his hands covering his face, as if that would help against the Torture Curse. But he isn’t writhing with pain, he isn’t crying out loud. Suddenly he jumps up again, holding his wand firmly in his hand once more. He points it at Draco, whose mouth is agape.

“What?” Draco can’t help but let out a frustrated curse.

“Seems like something went wrong with your spell”, Potter says simply.

Draco casts Cruciatus again, and again. Potter winces both times but doesn’t seem to experience any pain whatsoever. Draco’s blood boils at the sight of his face relaxing slightly.

“You have to mean it, Draco. The Cruciatus. Or else it won’t work, won’t cause me any harm at all. Has your auntie Bellatrix learnt you nothing?”

Suddenly Potter’s face is radiating pure rage again, and Draco grips his wand tighter, memories of a furious aunt Bella standing over him as a kid, laughing maniacally as she casts Cruciatus on him over and over again, until he’s nothing but a crying mess on the Manor floor… the memories, the memories…

Draco gathers all the fury he has in him, before attempting to cast the spell again, aiming at Potter’s chest… but somewhere in the middle he changes his mind, and before his brain catches up with his lips, he’s uttered another spell. He sounds confident as he screams it at the top of his lungs, and his hand slips only a little.

“Sectumsempra!”

A sudden sharp intake of breath, cutting through the air as a razor blade as the spell hits… not his, but Potter’s…

Potter’s eyes are halfway shut before he falls to the floor, a glimpse of green catching Draco’s eye half a second before he sees the red blood. And then Potter is lying face down in the water flooding the bathroom, and Draco takes a step back, breathing heavily.

He counts to two, and then he sees the blood again. This time he sees it in the water, a big pool of red starting to show in long streaks of red as it surrounds Potter’s body and soaks his clothes.

“No, no… no. No!”

Draco quickly recalls seeing the blood pour out somewhere near the right side of Potter’s chest, as the spell had just hit him. Draco stumbles forward, almost tripping over himself and then over Potter’s lifeless body as he falls onto his knees. The blood in the water reaches him within seconds, and he whimpers at the sight of it. “No, fuck’s sake, Potter, Potter!” He fumbles as he does his best to turn Potter to face him, and when he finally succeeds he’s quick to run his fingers over Potter’s shirt. He immediately finds the spot where the blood is the darkest. The spell has hit the right side of his ribcage…

The whole time so far he’s been chanting Potter’s name, letting it slip over his lips like a prayer to anyone who is listening, and now his desperate cries for help grow louder. “Potter… Potter no, listen, you have got to answer me! Potter!”

He can hear Myrtle screaming behind him. He doesn’t know how he feels about being found here, like this, but Draco finds it hard to care. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to do. Potter’s face is pale, his lips parted and pale as well. Draco tightens his grip on one of Potter’s arms, pressing the other hand to his chest, trying his best to be as gentle as possible so he doesn’t cause any more harm than he already has.

Potter’s eyes suddenly open slightly, and Draco’s chanting stops. The hand he’s held on Potter’s arm trails up to wipe strands of wet, charcoal hair out of the pale face looking up at him. Those green eyes are hauntingly empty of any emotion.

“Hold on, stay with me”, Draco mumbles quickly. “Don’t die on me, for fuck’s fucking sake, don’t die on me, fuck I didn’t mean to fucking kill you, why did you have to come in here in the first place? You’re an annoying prick who doesn’t deserve to fucking die, Harry, don’t die, He wants to… himself… I’m not supposed to… Draco, calm down, calm down. Harry!”

Myrtle’s screams have turned into loud howling mixed with sobs. Potter’s eyes fall shut again and he lets out a muffled groan, his head tipping from one side and then to another. Draco keeps frantically wiping strands of hair from Potter’s forehead, being careful not to make the round glasses slip out of place. Potter has closed his mouth, his lips pressed together before falling slack again. He’s showing signs of still being alive, then, thank fucking Merlin. Draco’s hands are shining with blood. Potter’s chest is heaving. Draco keeps muttering the boy’s name under his breath, Harry, Harry, Harry…

After what feels like an eternity, someone enters the room, and Draco collapses in the water next to Harry while his whole body shakes with uncontrollable sobs.

[freeusemuses]

Bellatrix smirked to herself as she slowly strolled down the curling stairway to the Malfoy manor basement. The click of her heels clashed against the smooth stonework, echoing off the walls and tumbling down towards the dungeon below—a feature she found quite delightful, as it could only build the sense of dread her quarry must feel, trapped down there as he was. And oh how wonderful it was, toying with someone so terrified.

As her heels finally found the last step of the stairs, she found herself standing in that dark, dreary dungeon, her smirk only growing wider as she heard a shifting of chains. With a faint flick of her wrist, a bobble of light appeared at the tip of her wand, illuminating the room as she slowly strut along the cells—finally coming to stop before one in particular. “Little Mercutio~ did you sleep well, my little nephew~?”

@asexxxualerotica

"Well as I could, Auntie..." Mercutio let out a yawn as he greeted the gorgeous witch. He would have stretched, but the chains keeping him bound prevented that. Not to mention, left him horribly bound and sore. "What brings you down here...?"

[arliedraws]

Whatever the Cost (AO3)

Summary: Sirius Black did not die during the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. He has been held prisoner and faces the cost of remaining loyal to those he loves. Meanwhile, Harry has mourned his godfather for nearly a year until he receives a warning that his godfather still lives and he’d better hurry up and find him before Sirius is gone for good.

Haha, I haven’t written whump like this since uhhhhhh college? I feel very normal about this. Again, not the flavor I usually cook with, but I guess enjoy? I think it’ll be around three chapters total. Some warnings—it’s got old fashioned torture, some stabbing, y’know, more psychological than anything, but I don’t think I’m as imaginative as Bellatrix Lestrange…

—

“It’s very easy, Sirius,” Bellatrix purred. She pulled his limp body into her lap and propped his lolling head back against her shoulder so he could feel the hot breath in his ear. “You don’t even need to apologize. Don’t you want the pain to stop?”

Sirius could not have spoken even if he wanted to.

“He doesn’t trust you, Sirius,” she said. Sirius sank into the warmth of her body. “He thinks you’re weak. Poor little Harry thinks you need to be rescued. Isn’t this all his fault? If only he could see you for who you really are. Look at you—so defiant, so strong. Auntie Wally was so proud of you…”

[incorrect-malfoys]

Bellatrix: Well, looks like it's just me and you again

Draco: ...

Bellatrix: Let's go make fun of your Father

[lazyahhshifter]

★ We need to talk about PUNK!ENZO

————————————

—��——————————

I don't know what y'all think, but I think Lorenzo Berkshire definitely had a punk phase. He listened to Sex Pistols ONCE at 4th year, and Sid Vicious became his whole personality.

Lorenzo would spend HOURS in front of the mirror to style his hair and apply eyeliner. Oh, and he totally failed to put it on at first, putting it under his eyes, spreading it towards his eyelids while rubbing his fingers. Eventually, Narcissa would see this mess and show him how to put it on right.

He would act 'anarchist' but lets be honest, I even doubt if he knows what Anarchy actually means. So its just him being an edgy teenager. Flipping Lucius off, Ripping off his clothes to have a more punk look, constantly yelling at everyone, trying to smoke but ending up as a coughing mess...

" Its not a phase, Auntie Cissy! "

Lucius DESPISES this. They fight about this DAILY. He would force Lorenzo to dress more formal and brush his hair, but Lorenzo would yell out a "FUCK YOU!". Yes, you guessed right, he is grounded.

Narcissa on the other hand, actually doesn't mind it. Maybe because it reminds her of Andromeda, maybe not, but regardless, she is softer to him. She hates the music, but she still gives him money for Enzo to buy cd's.

Even though he nails the punk look, Lorenzo does NOT have the mindset of a punk, so he is (sadly) the ultimate poser. Nobody can make me belive Lorenzo would ever say "eat the rich". This guy is Bellatrix Lestrange's son, he is THE RICH.

And actual punks would hate his guts tho. He would defend himself with "but I listen to the music" and he would piss them off so bad that he would come back to the Monor with a black eye.

Even though he yelled out "ITS NOT A PHASE!" dozens of times, it indeed was just a phase. He doesn't have the heart to be an actual punk, but he ATE that look, so thats okay <3

[littlemessyjessi]

"Herbal or Verbal?": A Holiday Marauders HP Imagine: Sirius Black

A Holiday HP Marauders Imagine 

Sirius Black x Plus Size Reader, PS Reader, Reader

Use of Y/N because frankly if I tarry too long on flushing out an oc… it will never get written and we’ll all be lucky if I post it by NEXT holiday season.  

Fem identifying reader because I love women and I just want to.   

Warnings:  Mentions of Sirius’ terrible mother? Mentions of the first wizarding war with Moldysnort and all of the trauma kind of attached to that. 

Also, if you’re under 18, get out.  I love you.  I wish you well.  A very happy holiday season to you! But get out.  Auntie says this with as much love as possible but hit the bricks, kid.  Come back when you’re older. Love you but git.  Stay warm, drink some water, eat well and be kind to yourselves though.   Just because you ain’t allowed here doesn’t mean I don’t wish you the best.  You’re worthy of love but I must insist.   Scooch on out.   

Now, then. Let’s begin. 

………..

………..

………...

Thick puffs of smoke billowed out into the cold December air. 

A sigh with a mixture of irritation and anxiety followed it. 

Sirius Black sat on the steps of his girlfriend’s flat. 

A girlfriend that was nowhere to be found at the moment despite the fact that today she’d invited their whole friend group to a holiday get-together at her own home. 

His best mate, James, was also nowhere to be found… and HIS girlfriend hadn’t a clue of his whereabouts either. 

Sirius was not often irrationally jealous when it came to Y/N and today was no different. 

However, the both of them gone at the same time had him on edge for a myriad of reasons. 

The thought of his love and his best mate having been attacked… or worse… had his blood boiling and running cold simultaneously.   

His stomach was a complete mess of knots.  

Business with the Order hadn’t been good as of late with two recent deaths and death eater numbers growing every day. 

He’d ran into his oh so delightfully awful cousin, Bellatrix, just yesterday. 

Always a pleasant experience, that one. 

Nearly tried to kill him and Sirius would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about kicking her off a cliff on more than one occasion. 

Tensions had been high between him and Remus. 

The latter of which was currently sat inside the flat with dark circles under his eyes, a few new scars and barely concealed irritation as he waited ‘patiently’ on this chocolate tea that Y/N promised him. 

Lily, despite acting as if it were nothing, kept flitting back and forth in front of the fireplace as if the two of them would suddenly appear by floo powder when everyone knew damn well that Y/N sooner die than get soot in her hair before a party. 

She always apparated and floo powder was a last resort. 

“I can never get it out of my hair, Siri. Even with magic. And that must be awful for your lungs.  I can’t be bothered.” she’d told him once before when he’d suggested it as a opposed to a half a dozen trips by apparating to get the shopping home. 

To which she shamed him by shrinking the groceries, giving him an unimpressed look and apparating away in her sassy little fashion… leaving Sirius standing in the alleyway puzzled … and even more in love than usual. 

He rubbed his hands together to try and get the feeling back into them before heading inside only to be immediately mauled by Lily. 

“Have you seen them? Are they here yet?” she bombarded. 

“No, Evans.  No sign yet.” he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

The two of them shared a look. 

This didn’t feel good. 

At all. 

“Where’s Peter?” he asked, aggravated at having not seen their friend today when he knew that Y/N had most definitely invited him. 

“Said something came up.” Remus supplied from the couch, his fingers digging into his temples at the headache coming on.   “I don’t remember all the details but he said to pass on his apologies to Y/N and that he’d come by when he could.” 

Sirius ground his teeth together but chose to let it go. 

He knew expressing it would only cause a disagreement between him and Remus and given that two of their group were literally nowhere to be found… now did not seem like the time. 

He had all but decided on putting out an alert with the order when the door opened and the familiar scent of gingerbread that seemed to haunt him this entire month hit him. 

He whirled around and snatched the person into his arms, burying his face in their neck. 

“Siri, love, what’s happened?” 

He squeezed the soft, cushiony woman into his frame even tighter and refused to answer but the slight shivering that coursed through him told her he was either cold or scared. 

Given the month, it could’ve been both but she figured on the latter. 

“Sirius, sweetheart, it’s alright.  I’m sorry to have worried you.” she said finally pulling him away enough to look into those stormy eyes of his. 

“Have you seen James?” Lily butted in. 

“Lovely to see you too, best friend.” Y/N teased the ginger who gave her a pleading look.  “Yes, he’s outside.  He’s been with me the whole time and he’s fine.  Although, he is standing outside my home as a deer with his tongue stuck to the fence so you might want to take some warm water with you when you go.” 

“I’m ripping him off of it without any help.” she growled. 

“I thought you were fond of his tongue, Lillian.” Y/N teased. 

“Y/N!” Lily gasped. 

“I’m sorry, Lils.  The opportunity presented itself and it was just too good to pass up.  Had to.” Y/N admitted. 

Sirius couldn’t help but smile. 

Behind those chubby cheeks and soft, sweet face was the mind of a filthy little beast and he adored her for it. 

Merlin’s beard, he was so happy that they were both safe and sound but in recent times every second of worry was justified. 

She leaned up to peck Sirius’ lips once before looking around the flat.  

“Sorry it hasn’t been decorated.  I thought we’d be back long before now but your mother was apparently very lively today.” she said pulling out her wand and with a flick the whole flat had been transformed from it’s usual decor to a magical Christmas wonderland. 

A tower of tiny cakes emerged from nowhere where a giant poinsettia set atop it like a red star. 

The table became decorated with a glittering tablecloth, tea cups adorned with a holly print and shining baubles here and there.

Sirius smiled in awe despite the rage boiling inside him at that moment. 

Y/N was everything he wanted in a person and she could turn even the simplest things into magical moments. 

Which was saying something as everyone in that flat literally went to Hogwarts but he'd never got to experience the nostalgic things of childhood holidays.  

When he met her… he realized that Y/N celebrated everything and she gave it to others as well. 

Life was an experience with her and she made every moment count. 

It was a huge driving force of what drew him to her and something that made him fall in love with her more and more every day they spent together. 

“Alright, now that that’s settled.” she said. “I need to change my outfit quickly and then we’ll be ready.  Well, once James has been detached from the fence. I did tell him not to do that but then again, I also told him not to change into a deer this time a year because it would attract children who wanted to see Santa’s reindeer… but he never listens to me anyway which is another reason as to why we're late because a tiny little ginger girl wanted to ride Santa's reindeer and because she reminded him of Lily... he couldn't very well say no. So his dumb ass did three rounds and we're both standing there freezing our bits off. And he comes back and immediately decides to lick an icicle. I honestly don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore.” 

“Y/N.” Remus spoke from the couch cutting Sirius off before he could explode. 

“Yes, dear?” she said, turning towards him for the first time that day.  

“This tea you’ve been telling me about…” he spoke tiredly. 

“Herbal or Verbal?” she asked. 

“What?” 

“Herbal or Verbal?” she said again.  “Are we talking actual hot tea or hot gossip?  I have both today.” 

Remus simply blinked at her for a moment but smiled eventually. 

The two of them had weekly ‘tea time’ during school in which they would discuss a book, have some tea… and also spill it. 

Y/N knew EVERYONE and Remus was quiet so no one suspected him. 

The two little twerps sat there under the ruse of discussing a book and gossiped for a solid hour. 

Sirius was convinced she was cheating on for a solid week until Remus told him to shove off and that he would never date someone who he viewed as a sister.  

It would be like dating Lily. 

Lily, who happened to have been standing behind him at that time, was caught between admiring him and being completely insulted. 

The tea sessions continued through school but after graduation they had been few and far between since then. 

Remus chuckled, “Both I supposed but you did tell me about a chocolate tea when we spoke last week.” 

“I haven’t forgotten, dear.” she smiled. “I think I’ve got quite a few treats that you’ll like today actually.” 

“If you two are done flirting.” Sirius said impatiently rolling his eyes. 

“Sirius, it’s not like that-” Remus began. 

“Oh, he’s not serious, Remus. Well, he is but- oh for Merlin’s sake. I am not doing this today.” she huffed. “He’s not actually jealous.  That little vein in his neck isn’t popping out yet.” 

Remus lifted an eyebrow at her and Sirius only smirked despite himself. 

“What is it, my love?” she asked, coming to stand in front of him before speaking to Remus over her shoulder.  “Remus, feel free to begin.  We’ll all join in a moment but you’re absolutely no fun when you’re peckish.” 

“Gee thanks.” he responded. 

“You’re welcome.” she sassed back before turning her gaze back to Sirius.  “Please continue, love.” 

“Why did you go to my parents’ house? Do you realize how dangerous that is in general, much less alone?” he pressed. 

“I didn’t go alone, my love.  James was with me the entire time.” she said. 

“Why go anyway?” he pressed. “It was crawling with the wrong sort even before all this started.  Y/N, I don’t like that. If something had- if- if she- if they- if you-” 

“Sirius, darling, I’m so sorry to have frightened you.” she said, her chubby fingers coming up to curl around his jaw. 

Sirius loved her hands. 

Always had. 

He’d always loved how soft they looked. 

He loved the roundness of her fingers and the smoothness on the back of her hands. 

“I promise that we were perfectly safe.   We were in disguise. Polyjuice potion in fact on James’ end.  We never separated.  We changed our voices as well.” she soothed him. 

“Why did you even go?” he pressed. 

“Well, it was one part justice for my beloved/justice for James as you and he are as brothers.” she explained. “And the other part was that it was a mission for the Order.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, love, but it was top secret. I couldn’t risk you stopping me.  There has been news that that house is being used as a meeting place for the death eaters.  You know the charms I’ve been working on lately?” 

At his nod she continued, “Well, Dumbledore asked me to place one at Grimmauld Place.  He figured with my metamorphamagus abilities, I could likely go a little more unnoticed.  He had Kingsley brew up some polyjuice potion for James and we went disguised as a couple of those children that play in the street there.” 

Sirius still didn’t like it but he also understood how Order missions went. 

“One hell of a well placed game of ding dong ditch, a snowball right in old Walburga’s face and your lady had the house bugged.  We were gone before they even knew what hit them!” came James’ voice as he and Lily finally entered the flat.  “It was brilliant, Pads, really.  She was brilliant.  I reckon old stuffy is still standing there picking snow out of her eyelashes as we speak.” 

Sirius laughed in spite of himself. 

He hated the idea of either of them going to his childhood home for more than one reason but the image of his best mate and the love of his life playing ding dong ditch and bashing his mother in the face with a snowball was just too hilarious for even him to ignore. 

“Please tell me that one of you looked at her and can share that memory.” he finally said once he’d stopped laughing. 

“Oh, mate.  I got you.” James laughed. 

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Yes, he does because whilst I was trying to safely get us back someone insisted on getting a good look for, and a quote, 

‘Sirius has to see this.  He’ll shit himself.’ So you’re welcome to get the pensieve out and piss yourselves with laughter.  Just don’t do it on my carpet.  I’ll be back in a moment.  I have an outfit picked out specifically for today and it shall not be going to waste.” 

Sirius watched her go before he and James rushed to retrieve the pensieve. 

The two of them were rolling on the floor laughing when she returned in her holiday best, complete with a rather intricately braided mass of red and green hair in a crown atop her head adorned with holly.  

Being a metamorphamagus did have it’s perks sometimes. 

“Alright, children.  It’s time for tea.” she said, taking her seat. 

“Herbal or Verbal?” Remus smirked at her, life and color back in his face a bit more since he’d already consumed two cups of this chocolate tea and about four chocolate biscuits. 

Y/N smiled at him, “Herbal this time, love.  Mind tapping that cranberry vanilla tea for me?” 

“Ew, stop flirting with each other.” Lily teased. 

“Oh, Lillian.” Y/N said, a smirk of her own crawling onto her mouth. “I think we both know that’s not how I flirt or shall we relive the Christmas of ‘76?” 

“What happened the Christmas of ‘76?” James asked curiously, far too aware of how quickly his girlfriend’s face was beginning to match her hair. 

“Lillian’s bisexual awakening.” Y/N said only for Lily to throw a biscuit at her. 

She caught it and simply dunked it in her tea. 

“What is this about then?” Sirius asked curiously. 

“Before we got together, love.  But only just.  We were together by the following Valentine’s Day.   Lily, a bit too drunk on the firewhiskey, accused me of being too soft and sweet for the likes of you.” she said, chuckling as Lily sunk in her chair. 

Sirius nearly choked on his tea because he knew all too well that of the two of them… Y/N had a far dirtier mind than he did. 

“And you call yourself her best friend, Evans.  You don’t know her at all.” he laughed. 

“Oh trust me, I got to know a whole new side of her that night.  I finally understood why she gets whatever she wants.  She’s fucking adorable usually but when she turns on the charm… merlin, woman.  That should be illegal.” Lily said, cheeks still aflame. 

“It only works because it’s used few and far between.  It’s more shock value than anything.” Y/N said with a shake of her head. 

“Explain Sirius then.” Remus piped up. 

“He loves me.  That’s different.” she shrugged. 

“I do, love but, er, I don’t know that it’s love that causes the rerouting of every single drop of blood in my body when you give me those eyes of yours.”  Sirius admitted with a nervous laugh. 

“Yes!” Lily chimed in.  “It’s unsettling because she’s normally so cute and then, bam! She just turns it on-.” 

“And turns you on?” Remus teased. 

“I think the two of you are evil twins separated at birth.” Lily said.  “Evil, the pair of you.” 

Remus and Y/N smiled coyly at one another, thoroughly enjoying both the verbal and herbal tea that had been served today. 

And all the rest wanted to smack the pair of them. 

“Happy Christmas, Remus.” 

“Happy Christmas, Y/N.” 

“Oi! Where’s my Happy Christmas? You are my girlfriend!” Sirius interrupted, vein popping out in his neck as a smidge of true jealousy flared. 

Y/N reached out to card a hand through his hair, “I had planned on giving you part of your Christmas later on when we we didn’t have an audience, my love, but I suppose it is the holidays.  Tis the season, I guess, if you have suddenly decided you would like to try voyeurism.” 

“Oi!” he said, panicking at the idea. 

And Y/N sat there, giggling into her tea, happy to have effectively flustered the lot of them. 

Even Remus who was less flustered and more shocked at the sheer cheek of her. 

A very Happy Christmas indeed.

……

……

……

….. 

Hello, loves!  I hope you enjoy this holiday content! 

Hope ya’ll are having a great day! 

Love you. 

— 

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K, Love you, Bye!

[againaweasel]

What age do we think Witches go through menopause?

Or i suppose more aptly, have we considered the impact of magic on a witch's fertility?

CW: Pregnancy, fertility, infertility. This is really long (oops)

I ask because if we take Cursed Child as canon (begrudgingly for me btw) then Bellatrix had Delphi when she was 46/47. This isn't impossible given it's only the average age women start menopause. But even before menopause by the time most women hit mid 40s fertility has dropped so low that getting pregnant is very difficult.

Bellatrix pulled it off in the middle of a war with little traditional medical intervention.

So witches might be on a different time scale here.

But that's only one example so let's look at a much more intense example:

Euphemia Potter.

Euphemia Potter had James when both she and Fleamont were, to quote an interview with the terf in 2005 "[James's parents] were elderly, were getting on a little when he was born, [...] They were old in wizarding terms"

Old in wizarding terms is pretty fucking old. The average wizarding life expectancy is 137¾ years [according to the films]. Average. So it's possible that to be considered "old by wizarding standards" you'll have to be around or above 137 years old.

Harry was born when James was 20, and they'd died before that. So, if we take 'old in wizarding years' to be roughly 130 years old then Euphemia Potter was 110 when she gave birth to James.

But I think we can lessen it a little because Auntie Muriel takes pride in reaching 107, suggesting that's also considered quite old. So we can make Fleamont and Euphemia like 90s+ when they die and therefore 70s+ when James was born.

That's still a good 30 years after fertility in women typically tails off. The oldest mother on record was 73 and that was accomplished through IVF which Euphemia (being magic) likely didn't have access to.

So there's something going on with the fertility of witches. It seems to last forever.

Which really does beg the question why so many characters have children in their early/mid 20s given the window for fertility is seemingly double the length.

Tonks’ pregnancy in her mid 20s was nearly guaranteed accidental (based on circumstance and y'know Remus) and being in hiding she likely didn’t have a choice in the matter. I think Lily's could have been accidental too just based on vibe - but the others?

You're telling me Hermione Granger decided to pause her career to have children at 25? Or that Ginny gave up professional quidditch playing in her prime to have children at 22? When they had a good 50 or so years left?

bullshit.

IDK this is a long rambly post to say none of this makes any sense to me.

Wizarding birth rates could be going crazy but only the Weasleys are repopulating

[pyromaniacbibliophile]

Albus put down the book very slowly. Scorpius looked at him with mild concern. “Albus?” 

He didn’t listen, instead he got up, walked out of the library, and screamed. Then he came back in. Madam Pince looked down her nose at him, so he grinned cheerfully and sat down next to Scorpius. 

“Al, what was that for?” 

Wordlessly, Albus pushed the book over to Scorpius, gesturing at two consecutive chapters. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, read the first. The second, Severus Tobias Snape. Scorpius read the entries quickly, the advantages of being a fast reader. He laughed. 

“Shut up!” Albus whispers, poking him in the side. 

“I mean you have to admit, it’s funny.”

“No it really isn’t! Dad’s the bloody Man-Who-Conquered, you’d think he’d know how to name a child!” He whisper-shouted.

“Would you like a quill and parchment?” Scorpius asked innocently. 

Albus glared. “Yes.” 

In the end, the letter read

Dear Mum and Dad, I’m in the library,  having just read a book about previous heads of Hogwarts Written by Uncle Nev and Auntie Luna And I would just like to ask one thing Are you fucking serious? I demand a name-change now please Anything, literally anything else Dobby Kreature Potter, for all I care Sorry for swearing, but just Bloody hell, what were you thinking Love, Norbert Fang Potter, or something

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ron laughed. “You have to admit, mate, naming your son after the bloke who raised you to die and the twit who bullied us for our entire school and told Moldy-wart the Prophecy was a little bit stupid, wasn’t it.” 

“It was symbolic!” Harry protested. 

“Your first son you called James Sirius. Alright, bit of a heavy legacy, but I can see the reasoning. Your daughter, Lily Luna. The same. But why, oh why, did you call Al, Albus Severus? Mate, honestly. It’s not like we have a shortage of slightly nicer dead friends and family to name children as, is it? Or alive, you called Lils Luna, after all! I despair. It’s a miracle that you didn’t name Teddy, or else he might have ended up as Remus Peter Lupin-Potter! Or why not skip the subtleties and call him Peter Bellatrix Scabbers!” 

Harry winced. In retrospect, true. “... Regulus Minerva Potter?”

“Alright, a little bit better, but just a small thought. This is your chance to give one of your children a name that doesn’t have a previous owner. Just a thought, mind.” Ron added.

“Tom?” 

There was silence. Ron seemed dumbstruck at his friend's utter idiocy. “Harry. Mate. Please, please, tell me you see the issue with ‘Tom’. Please.” 

“It wasn’t all his fault, really, Dumbledore was a bit of an idiot…” Harry trailed off at the look on Ron’s face. 

“Harry. Your wife was possessed by him for a whole year. He also, under a very stupid alias, did, oh I don’t know, TRY TO KILL YOU FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE?” 

“And succeeded once.” Harry added helpfully. 

“No. Just no.” 

Harry laughed. That one had been a little bit of a joke, to tell the truth. “Ok. Er- hmm. Your lot and my parents seem to have the monopoly on names, to be fair… Aha! Fleamont Minerva Potter!” 

Ron sighed. “That’s the best we’re going to get, isn’t it? Check with Gin.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Norbert Fang Potter

We do apologise, it was all your Dad’s idea. I would have been entirely happy never thinking about either Dumbledore or Snape again, to be fair. Thanks to your Uncle Ron preventing Regulus and Tom, we have come up with a different idea. 

How do you feel about Monty Minerva Potter? 

Is school going well, how are your friends?

Mum

and Dad (Who says sorry and admits Albus Severus might have been a mite foolish)

inspired by this pin