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Day 2 - Is it possible to die from embarrassment?
Another late entry, however I'd say this one went more smoothly than the other. It only took me about 3 hours to write! Anyways, I could've cut this one short, but I liked this idea too much and decided to pull through with it. So, yay me? Next few days will just be drawings though because writing is not my forte LMAO. This one features the Asian family because I wish we had the boys interacting with the others' families. Poor Hong Kong. Also prolly OOC loooooool. Also tried to write Korea as rather more super outgoing and enjoy meeting new people. He still has his clashes though. Hopefully I did a little bit of justice to him here. No beta we die like HRE. Word count is 2,548. @hongiceweek
Is it possible to die from embarrassment?
As Hong Kong urges Iceland- who has dumpling bits stuck in his hair and shirt- upstairs to his room, he canāt help but apathetically want to pack his things, hitch a ride to the nearest bus stop, take a flight to the middle of South America and formally live out the rest of his life under a brand new identity. Someone else can take over as the personification of Hong Kong, he thinks.
And that is saying something. Among the two boyfriends, Hong Kong is easily the more savvy between the two. He knows all the right moves and words to get his partner to flush and hide his face in embarrassment. Hong Kong is teasing, smooth, and witty, thus itās not very often or easily to make Hong Kong falter to its knees. The point is the dynamic between them has always been consistent. When it comes to Iceland, Hong Kong rarely ever loses his cool.
That is up until now.
Hong Kong hurries Iceland to his room and slams the door shut behind him. Locking it and pulling a chair from his desk underneath the knob for good measure. As Hong Kong rushes to his drawer to find suitable spare clothes, Iceland stands by and tries his very best to reassure him. Hong Kong says nothing as he finds a suitable shirt and disappears into his personal bathroom, with running water that can be heard shortly afterwards. He walks back out.
āHere. Thereās a warm washcloth and some spare clothing that you can use. Feel free to wash your hair and use any of the towels as well.ā
āGotcha. ā, nods Iceland. āThanks.ā He disappears into the bathroom and quietly closes the door behind him.
Then, a breaking of glassware and shouting could be heard from downstairs . Of course, the loudest voices belong to Taiwan and Korea, only to be outdone by Chinaās, only to be outdone by Thailandās.
Hong Kong sits on the edge of the bed and heaves a frustrated sigh. He places his fingers on the bridge of the nose.
Just what the hell even happened?
ā It was another world meeting that was just supposed to be the two of them.
When the meeting called for the noon break, Hong Kong caught up to Iceland wanting to ask if they could get lunch together. As they were exiting the meeting hall, Taiwan just so happened to be in the area and being the only person to know about their relationship so far, she saw them and was teasing her brother in the distance.
Unfortunately, talking to her was South Korea, who followed Taiwanās gaze and called out to greet the both of them. Not wanting to get Iceland involved with his family, he urges him to hurry out the door.
But one thing leads to another and Koreaās attention draws Chinaās and also wanting to greet his student, meets them just before they reach the door. Before Hong Kong could take off in the other direction, Taiwan, Korea, and now Japan caught up to them.
While initially wanting to greet the fellow asian, the family took interest in the Icelander as well. Having not many chances or reasons to converse casually with someone outside of Asia, they took the chance to get to know him. In which, while Iceland shyly returned the gesture, Hong Kong was starting to get peeved that Iceland was getting a little bit too involved with his family. When Hong Kong had to break the conversation that they were late for lunch, China brought this up:
āOh! Well, we would love to get to know you more, Iceland. Why donāt you come over for dinner tonight and Iāll treat you to some authentic Chinese cuisine!ā
Hong Kongās heart drops and he tries to pull his boyfriend out of there before he could respond. However, Taiwan and Korea blocked their way and pleaded for Iceland to visit. To Hong Kongās dismay, his boyfriend agreed. He gazes at horror at his boyfriend as the rest of the Asians cheer and pull Iceland over to plan for tonight. Fast forward to Chinaās summer home in Beijing. For the past hour, the rest of Hong Kongās asian siblings have been running around to prepare for Icelandās arrival. In excitement to share their culture, China has been working on multiple dishes and cuisines all at once, Taiwan putting down homemade decorations around the kitchen and living room, Korea booting up the karaoke machine to put out his favorite songs to sing, and poor Japan just being pulled around by the previous three as they all demand for his help. The house was chaos.
Hong Kong could only stand there and watch in disbelief. He could withstand his familyās shenanigans, hell, he would often be a part of that too. But in the case of Iceland? Really? No way in hell.
Hong Kong palms his forehead as Japan passes by. Japan, sensing his frustration, assures the boy that everything will be alright and that the rest of the family is only doing everything in their power to welcome Iceland. Surely, his own family wouldnāt make a fool of themselves in front of a guest.
When he finishes that sentence, Taiwan calls for his help, grabs him, and pulls him abruptly to the side. This causes Japan to yelp and grasp the tablecloth as he falls with the rest of the tableset going down with him. Shouting ensues.
Hong Kong can only stand in horror. Just then, the doorbell rings.
It was as if a pin dropped. Everyone starts scrambling to fix the kitchen as Hong Kong quietly slips out of the room to greet Iceland.
Calmly, he opens and slips out the front door. Iceland is standing there before him and raises a shy wave.
Hong Kong only returns with a poker face.
He grabs his shoulders.
āDO NOT COME IN.ā, he grits through his teeth. Iceland starts to tremble as his boyfriend looms over before him.
The door opens behind them and they both turn to find China standing there. Chinaās bright smile looks as if he was about to greet Iceland, however his face drops when he processes what he is witnessing.
Unfortunately for the boys, their faces were perhaps a little bit too close to each other.
An angry yell can be heard across the neighborhood.
ā
When China finally calmed down and the boys explained what was going on, they made their way to the dining area. To Hong Kongās surprise, the table was already set with the silverware and dishes set in place. The others come up politely to welcome their guest.
Despite the evening getting off to a rough start, the dinner itself began smoothly. Icelandās mouth was already watering as everyone took their seats and gave thanks before digging right in.
If there was anything that at least went well today, it was the pride and presentation of the variety of Asian cuisine right before them, with each dish being of origin from each asian personification. And it made for great discussion too, as Iceland asked what each meal was, the asians took turns in explaining and sampling for him to try it.
What a great way to start off the discussion! That is until- China being a little bit too prideful of his homelandās cooking- started sampling and piling food onto Icelandās plate more than the others. Iceland, not wanting to be rude, could not bring himself to decline and he nodded nervously at the pile of food building up in front of him. Already annoyed with Chinaās meddling, Hong Kong stands up and forces his sensei to sit back down, in which he begrudgingly obliged.
Sensing the awkwardness in the air, Taiwan (once again, being the only one aware of the boys' relationship), started playing wingman and began doing icebreakers with Iceland. The topic started off general at first, but gradually, the conversation shifted in trying to frame Hong Kong the best way possible, much to his embarrassment. However, it only grew worse when Taiwan brought up their childhood together and accidentally slips in a story about her brother being so afraid of the dark that he needed China to sleep with him every night. Hong Kong was about to lose it again when Korea interrupted.
Wanting to join in the conversation, Korea opted in. Thankfully with the addition of Korea, the conversation shifts topics before any more embarrassing stories about Hong Kong could be revealed. Korea begins asking about Icelandās home country, his culture, and the other Nordics, in which the Icelander happily obliged to answer. Unfortunately though, as Korea and Iceland ease into each otherās presence, his boyfriend found great difficulty to slip his presence back into the conversation.
Taiwan takes notice of this. In another attempt to assist her brother, she intervenes in their conversation, claiming that Korea is being inconsiderate to Hong Kong for barging into the discussion, with a tone that may-or-may-not sound a bit condescending.
Then, one thing happens and leads to another and all of a sudden, fighting ensues at the dinner table. Taiwan and Korea are fiercely throwing insults and shouting over Iceland before China intervenes, yelling at the both of them that they have a guest over and they are embarrassing themselves. Of course, this family has a long history of not taking shit from China and only ignored his intervention. Fortunately, the fighting moved on from the subject of Iceland, but unfortunately, the two started arguing about each other and personal matters that a guest definitely should not hear.
Offended by his disciplesā disregards, China calls out to Japan, who has been silently and anxiously watching the whole thing, to try and stop them. Japan stands from his seat and tries to mediate the two, but Taiwan takes advantage of the situation to claim that Japan sides with her. Mouth agape at offense, Korea takes a handful of food and aims it at Taiwan, in which she dodges and it hits Japan square in the face instead.
The tables ensues into chaos. Taiwan returns Koreaās gesture and soon enough, food is flying across the room as China starts screaming in rage as he witnesses his precious hardwork go to waste. In which both respond back by pelting him with rice and noodles, which only amplifies his shouting. Japan tries to crawl away but Taiwan pulls him to stand up, hands him a bowl, and orders him to start throwing.
For Hong Kong and Iceland, they take cover underneath the table. Hong Kongās face is red in embarrassment and when he looks over to his boyfriend, his eyes widen at the sight of Icelandās hair and upper shirt being covered in dumpling bits. He feels like he could bury himself alive underneath that table right then and there.
Suddenly, the front door could be heard opening and closing, followed by multiple footsteps growing near.
āHey all! Philippines gifted us some pastries from his house! Whose down to try so-ā, the voice is instantly silenced as a splatter could be heard.
The boys peer from underneath the table. As it turns out, the voice belonged to Thailandās and he took a dumpling as well to the face. Macau and Vietnam were behind him in shock as they supported his balance from being smacked in the face.
The room went silent. Thailand was the best buddy anyone could ever have.
Unfortunately, he could be the worst enemy anyone could ever have.
Thailand roars and launches forward fiercely, but Vietnam and Macau struggle to strain him back. The shouting and food fighting resumes.
Hong Kong tugs at Icelandās shirt and without saying a word, they both quietly sneak away from the kitchen. He takes Icelandās hand and hurries him upstairs to his room.
And that, brings back to now.
As another shattering of glass could be heard downstairs, Hong Kong bends over and rubs his face, feeling absolutely mortified. He starts thinking of ways to get a new visa when Iceland exits the bathroom, his hair damp and wearing his boyfriendās shirt. As Iceland sits on the edge of the bed beside him, Hong Kong pretends to keep his cool.
A moment passes, before Iceland places a reassuring hand on his boyfriendās shoulder. Hong Kong avoids his gaze.
āYou know my brothers are the same as yours, right?ā
Hong Kong rolls his eyes. āDo your brothers throw food around as well?ā
āPfft, noā¦ they throw dishes.ā
āEven then, Iām pretty sure they wouldnāt act like lunatics in front of a guest.ā
āMaybe not", begins Iceland. He scoots closer. "But have you ever met Sweden? The guy doesnāt even do anything and you already have people throwing their wallets begging him to not mug them.ā
Hong Kong tries to shrug it off, however a chuckle escapes.
Iceland grins. āDonāt get me started on Dan as well. One time, we had a diplomat over at Danās house and then a mouse ended up scurrying into the meeting room. The woman was freaking out so he pulled out his fucking battle axe from his display case. You know what happened next? He split it into a bloody half. Iām pretty sure she passed out right there.ā
That got to Hong Kong and it sent him into a series of giggling. Iceland gently leans into him.
āAnd then you have Norge, who we keep telling him to stop talking to his trolls or whatever in front of others. But he keeps forgetting to do so everytime and everyone else stares at him like he is crazy.ā
āAnd then you have Fin! Youād think he would at least be the one to know how to host a guest, but that guy is seriously weird on his own.ā
Hong Kongās giggling turn into full-hearted laughter as Icelandās grin grows. He leans into his partnerās side to plant a kiss on his cheek. Hong Kong smiles and returns the gesture by wrapping his arm around his boyfriendās waist and planting a kiss on his shoulder and then placing his chin on top of it.
āMaybe I should come over to meet your family instead.ā
āYeah, well, wouldnāt you like to see how that would turn out?ā
Just then, they hear Macau calling their names for them to come back downstairs. The boys turn to look at each other before getting up and making their way back down.
When they returned to the kitchen, it became a palette of wasted food staining the walls and the floor alongside with two broken plates scattered by the table. They are immediately greeted with Taiwan, Korea, China, and Japan (who didnāt even do anything), kneeled over on the ground as Vietnam rants away at a lecture frenzy. To her right, Thailandās smile has returned, but his eyes glare down at them menacingly as he rubs his cheek with a washcloth. To Vietnamās left, Macau stands there and is the only normal-looking person in the room. He takes notice of the boysā arrival and greets them.
Vietnam also takes notice as well.
āALL FOUR OF YOU, APOLOGIZE THIS INSTANT TO THESE BOYS!!ā, she demands to the four. They all lift their heads in the boys' direction. Just as when they open their mouths to apologize, it dawns upon them that Iceland is wearing Hong Kongās shirt.
An uproar fills the house.
#hetalia#aph hetalia#aph hong kong#hws hong kong#aph iceland#hws iceland#aph#hongice#aph china#hws china#aph taiwan#hws taiwan#aph korea#hws korea#aph thailand#hws thailand#aph vietnam#aph macau#hws macau#hetalia fanfiction#fanfic#aughgh whatever#hongiceweek2024#im so proud of this one#this idea was so fun to do
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smile for the camera!
crisis belongs to @amyupup47
#art#illustration#my art#fanart#crisis#errormare ship kid#TAKE THIS AMY!!!! you sweet sweet little goose >:'Dc#i've been planning on drawing you something for weeks now i can't believe i sat down and finally made something HHH >:'D#side note just aughgh i normally would be satisfied with the end result but dude.#DUDE you won't believe how hard replicating the swag your ocs have in my style iss WAA i can't draw hoods for the life of me hhh#hope i did the lil bean justice >:') his design is so warm!!! loved working with his colors<333#your art is crazy good too btw can't believe you don't hear this daily but GHGHGHG HOW DARE YOU HAVE SO MANY BANGER STYLES OMG!!!#you say you don't have a consistent one as if you don't have the insane power of turning your art into whatever you like and STILL#still SOMEHOW keeping the little things that make me go 'oh! that's amy's art!' which is BONKERS. you powerful evil WIZARD#have a nice day buddy muah muah muah muah muah (FIVE TIMES as payback<3333)
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I am having a moment
#all I do on the internet is insist that characters- yes- are indeed that fucked up#Please for the love of god#There isn't anything Pharos releasing Aaravos adds narratively that Callum releasing Aaravos couldn't do 100% better#Whatever#This is exactly what it was like insisting that yeah. Wukong knew what MK was the whole time#The torment nexus. Aughgh.#tdp#the dragon prince#tdp meme#imp tag#imp's a little feisty
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RESIDENT EVIL ā DR. DIANA WESKER
"This is how a girl becomes holy: first she becomes empty." ā Brynne Rebele-Henry, Prelude
[templates Ć & Ć ā insp ā playlist]
#mine.#oc: diana#tw: snakes#hi hii hello i'm alive and i bring gifts!! click for better quality as always ā”#so. it's still jan 15 (my hc birthday for wesker based on natal chart i did for him) somewhere in the world so diana gets an edit instead of#him. peace and love on planet earth lmao he gets a lil square but she's my beloved my gal... i was wondering if i should just leave this for#next month as you can see by that date on there for her lil creation anniversary but hehe anyhow i saw emily do this a bit ago with meshing#these two templates together and went omg i wanna do that i wanna but then i took this break and had some more shit happen so hiii#also i'm very behind on notifs i promise i'll get to them i've just been aughgh and haven't even scrolled or anything like i just queued#posts in my tracked tag this morning and oh man i didn't realise i was gone for so long huh... but anyways rambling as always but miss diana#my beloved the loml!!! sorry i use those two pictures for her all the time but also it's really hard to find hd ones of her fc in like the#era i see for her and the hair i like... like a lot of her pictures she has straight and like shoulder length hair and i'm like mmm that's#not it... but whatever. also cause i can't be bothered looking for nice pretty quotes and there's already one in there have that post#which multiple people sent to me a bit ago akdsjkjd oopsies
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im about to kill someone in my friend's server..... (THEY SAID THEY HATED D4--)
#crow talks#LIKE.#I POSTED A DRAWING THERE (yukaqueso) AND THEN THEY SAID THEY PLAYED IT HATED IT AND SAID SEKAI WAS BETTER.#IM SORRY DUDE BUT I CLEARLY ENJOY D4 ALOT THAT I MAKE FANART. LIKE.??????#im not pissed at them saying they like sekai more im pissed at them needing to say they disliked d4.#they could just said. idkkk..... āi played d4 but i didnt like it much im more of a pjsk fanā and i would've been fine w that. like???#aughgh whatever.#i'll ignore their comment
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Hellošš»
I'm having a lack of ideas for sketches atm so! I've decided to draw some mutuals' ocs and Yuusha came to my mindš hope you like these sketchesš¤§
SKKSMSMSKS GHDSKL MAH HI HELLO HI WHAT !!!!!!????? IM-- D SFJKLSDHKDFS;A GIGGLING SCREAMING CRYING LOSING IT GJKSDLAFLLKJ
THIS IS SUCH A SURPRISE????? IM --
^^ WHATEVER EMOTIONS ALL OF THESE ARE IM FEELING IT BUT TENFOLD AND MORE
LOCAL COLLEGE STUDENT SOBBING IN THE MIDDLE OF A LECTURE HALL CAUGHT IN 4K GET ME OUT OF HERE
ANYWAYS MAH HI THANK YOU š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗšššššš
I JUST LOV IM -- I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ,,,, I LOVE THEM ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ
the wayyy,, the WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER???? THEYRE SOOOOO OUGHGHJDSDSFHDS I CANT HANDLE IT IM LOSING IT I AM LITERALLY CATCHING MYSELF PHYSICALLY SMILING
AND IT'S THEM -- DANCING
THEY JUST LOOK SO SOFTTT IM SOBBINGJDF I AM IN COMPLETE SHAMBLES AUGHGH HELP ME IM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS
and the way you drew them im just šššššš your art style i love it so much im devouring it rn rn
hgrrhsdfhdskfd im just. gonna. hold them gently ,,,, then shaking them violently with affection hrrngh this is so cute, this is so cute aghdslfjksdlkj im crying sobbing rolling on the floor šššššššššššššššššššš
THANK YOU AGAIN SO SO MUCH THIS'LL BE ON MY MIND FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG
AND ALSO I DIDNT FORGET THE SILLIES ;;;;;
damali š¤ yuusha tormenting jamil
(i think theyd be besties but idk idk š¤§š¤§š¤§)
#ur art is back on my banner hfjdbndhs#anyways#I HAVE NO OTHER WORDS MAH#THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION#THIS ISN'T ENOUGH TO CONVEY WHAT IM FEELING#sobbing sobbing sobbing#it makes me so happy too that you thought of them š¤§š¤§š¤§#and you made my day btw and the joy will probably extend longer so im very very thankful šššš#i hope you're able to get more ideas for sketches soon!!!#[āā¦ chatting#-ā§ lovely art#(š) yuusha#(š) curry noodles#(š) visitors#-ā¦ā]
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xina and miguels relationship is sooo good actually. in like a raw, deep, emotional sense. in what they do for each other. specifically what she would've done for him. xina is everything miguel needs in a partnerāshe holds him accountable, she challenges him to be better than he is. and that makes him uncomfortable. and that should be a GOOD thing, like it should be what he needs to grow and be a better person and not fall into that trap of being stuck under tyler stones thumb at alchemax, but breaking out and being that person for her is hard and it's scary and miguel just wants to live a life where he can stay the smartest guy in the room and live comfortably without having to face that reality. he doesn't wanna throw himself into the unknown of self-discovery, he'd rather just wallow in what he has and pretend he doesn't hate himself. AND ITS LIKE... the things being spiderman does to his character over time, that like, desire to finally grow up and become someone worthy of the good things in his life, whether it's gabriel or xina or whatever else, SHE WOULD'VE DONE FOR HIM had they stayed together. like. aughgh. she was so good for him, and that scared him because since when does miguel o'hara deserve something that perfect, so he had to bring about the self-fulfilling prophecy of his own inability to be worthy of being loved and cheating plotline ensues. ugh his psychology in this relationship makes me insane.
#i realize this post became more about miguels half of xinamiguel toward the end but#my thoughts go where they go#xina was 100% justified in telling him to fuck off cuz she deserves better#gabriel wouldve been just as justified in cutting him off after the cheating thing too#cuz that was just next level shitty#but SOMETHINGSOMETHING self fulfilling prophecy his thinks his fathers blood runs thru his veins he thinks he has his fathers face#no way miguel o'hara could ever be worthy of good#not to himself at least#because as smart and as cocky as he is he knows this in his bones hes known it since he was a kid#he hates himself and he doesnt know how to deal with it so bam give everyone he loves a reason to hate him too#then he mustve been correct to feel that way. right???#god he makes me insane#sorry whole post is in tags actually#tama talks#spiderman 2099#xinamiguel#miguel o'hara
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Also you mentioning how to train your dragon being your favourite movie reminded me how much I loved that movie, Iāve probably watched it hundreds of times as a kid, the designs in it are so cool, I remember really liking the red ones with that weird fire and green multi headed ones, and like pausing on the pages of the dragon book when theyāre looking through it aughgh. This actually made me go looking for some of my dragon books I had as a kid and I actually found one, sadly not the one I sent you I think that ones long gone, but yeah I really liked dragons as a kid
oh yeah I was obsessed with dragons as a kid and believed they were real, I even tried to get a Nightfury egg and Iād look up ways to get an egg on the internet lol I literally had a box of sawdust by my pillow so that whatever gave me an egg would put it in their lmao but yeah httyd was awesome, I think toothless and the blue spiky one, stormfly?, were my faves
#Asks#oh I just remembered I found this httyd Nightfury oc Comic when I was younger#And I thought it was proof that toothless had a girlfriend in the second movie (this was before it came out)
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man im really missing having therapy... i miss being able to just talk about whatever... i always feel like i have to be concious of what other people want to talk about in a conversation, that they wont be interested in hearme ramble about my job or my new friends or anyhtign. theres no one i trust 100% bc i really wanna talk about other people but idk i get the impression that thats really inapropriate?? and im super scared to do it. i loved my last two therapists they were so nice to me and talking to them was so easy....
idk i guess there was some sort of anonymous chatroom where one could lend an ear and have an ear lent, and like talk about it.. i miss the talking about whatever is going on
aughgh
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Aughgh I'm so not ready to front for streaming again but whatever jdnrdnjejsf
I'll bullshit my way through.
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fmk ummmm. charlotte zoey emma
Ok well marry Zoeyļæ½ļæ½.aughgh whatever i say here is gonna sound bad but fuck charlotte (and maybe get her a better therapist) and kill emma (sorry emma, you were a bitch to zoey). ziggs can inherit the weed farm
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OH I SEE IT!!! however... i did also hear that forever told fit to kill him (probably for the mission)... i'm so torn i want them to reunite i hope there's a bit of angst i also hope they're a comfort to each other... whatever whateevr whatever it's fine...
also i don't know if i mentioned but i went back to see forever's vod just after richarlyson and i saw the scene you based your 4pac fic on and oh my god... if youtube autotranslate isn't lying to me... i was already in the trenches but i just dug myself deeper...
- purposefully placed pickaxe puzzle :)
he did do that and it was for the mission but it's fine it's fine... it's just purgatory things... I also heard Pac let blue team kill Fit today :( but I assume there hasn't been a 4pac reunion yet. or if there was then I will be very sad that nobody told me. at the rate things are going in purgatory I somehow doubt there will be reunion angst (or an emotional scene in general) but who knows who knows. I trust in Pac's roleplaying I'd be happy for him to surprise me
also RIGHT. YOU GET ME. from what Portuguese I understand the autotranslate is pretty accurate and AUGHGH. for everyone else's benefit this is the scene (4:02:29) and I'm making it required viewing on my blog. if you've read my fic I need you to know the beginning is very much based on the conversation they had in canon (well. up until the gay kissing that was all me) and it's literally so. look
youtube
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Ranboo saying they arenāt sure if gay rlly covers or fully describes them and honestly what if I go on a whole rant abt how difficult itās been navigating sexuality while Iām transgender
Like idk I commend that, for some ppl it IS easy and thatās valid too. but god Iāve pent up so many feelings of uncertainty that itās..rough sometimes. I feel like I HAVE to almost decide on a label becuz even in posts saying how valid questioning is. they almost make that an end goal. āYouāll figure it out eventuallyā and I do sometimes feel comfy with labels. Sometimes itās nice. Feels secure. But sometimes it feels.. restricting?
Iāve used gay for now becuz well, I know for sure I like men and ppl outside the binary! And the majority of the time I do just, feel like a man.
But Iāll have these fleeting moments where I feel like just āanything goesā I donāt have a care in the world, for both gender and sexuality. Iām just human weāre just human whatever. Do these short periods invalidate the majority?
Sometimes Iām a man but at the same time maybe I feel like a lady a little bit, while yeah Iām still a dude, that feminine aspect sometimes makes me feel a lil disconnected from the gay label. Those who r fem and gaymlm r valid but idk sometimes for *ME* I feel out of place..
Iām attracted to ppl outside the binary, sometimes very feminine ppl. where yeah, theyāre still always gonna be outside the binary but it makes me think, AM I not attracted to women? gender is just a label, idc abt genitals, idc abt gender presentation, whatever u wanna be? Valid. But like. Idk itās difficult to just exclude who I might be attracted to based on what just.. a label? Itās hard to picture myself with a woman but at the same time itās hard to explain or make sense to myself becuz people are all so different. Sometimes a random girl will look like a dude and itās like ?!?!? AUGH?!? I find them attractive but is it just that I thought they were a guy or is it that I just find certain women attractive ??
IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE TO ANYONE ELSE. Iām also worried I come off as like transphobic or smthinš I swear I respect ppls genders no matter what just sometimes how ppl present themselves gives *me* a sexuality crisis and thatās not their problem itās mine AUGH this almost 100% could be worded better but idk how. Just please keep in mind Iām not trying to be a transmed or smthinš¤®
I never feel sure of myself I never feel sure of how I feel about other ppl. Itās prolly also the neurodivergence of not understanding societal rules and standards but AUGHGH Emotions, gender, and sexuality are all such difficult things for me. God I wish I was one of the ppl who just, understood immediately. Idk man
I might just say fuck it and just give up figuring shit out and call myself achillean or queer. At least for a lil while
#transgender#questioning#neurodivergent#like it SHOCKS ME when ppl r like (I lose all interest immediately if theyāre not the gender Im attracted to) I WISH IT WAS EASY 4 MEšš#HAPPY FOR U THOšš#in my head gender and sexuality r just kinda attached somewhat cuz how I identify influences relationships IDK#so ONE gets fucked up and then SO DOES THE OTHER#AND ITS FRUSTRATING#I hate bringing up prolly being neurodivergent in these posts tho cuz I know some ppl r weird abt thatš¤®š¤®
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OW. HEY. FUCK YOU
AUGHGH I DISCUSSED THIS WITH @eepyghost I THINK AND IM GONNA EXPLODE IF I DONT BRING THIS UP::
GILL IS WATER MOTIF. JAY IS FIRE MOTIF. CHIP IS EARTH MOTIF. RIGHT?
SO OLLIE'S THE AIR MOTIF.
BECAUSE HE PLAYS INTO EACH OF THE RIPTIDE PIRATES' STRENGTHS SO WELL RIGHT. HES GOT JAYS EMOTIONAL STRENGTH, GILLIONS PHYSICAL STRENGTH, AND.... well. whatever chip has.
AND YKNOW THIS WHOLE THING OF. HURRICANES ?? SANDSTORMS/DUSTSTORMS ?? FIRESTORMS ?? ALL BEING BECAUSE OF AIR AUUGUGUHGHG.
OLLIE <333
hey. chip learning selflessness while gillion learns selfishness and jay learns to be herself
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can picrew makers please learn to put like more than 4 skin tones lmao wtf is that
#and then when they do the undertones are like grey though aughgh#anyway thank youuu to anyone who has tagged me in picrews the last like month or whatever its been since i've actually done one i've just#been oughgh and picrews are such a time for me lmaooo idk i need so much energy to do them. they're daunting with all the options#leah.txt
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everyday i wake up and remember ill need to apply to a job one day
#i cant even drive on my own yet what am i on#BUT AUGHGH i have no clue what my first job can be#based on the area i live in itll be like mcdonalds#or even worse#walmart#both are bad i might just work at gamestop and deal with whatever goes on there#itās almost always empty š#>rangers rambles
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