#attempted humor

[foolishskull]

caught one of the will wood screenings in my area with my boyfriend and this happened

[queerdemondisaster]

I'm a masc leaning non-binary pagan. A he/them if you will.

* Did not expect the post to blow up like this. Thank you all so much!

[amgeryporcupine]

Madara Time-Travel AU specials part 2 (last) ft. Magic puddle

I'm back but not really lol

[amminadabz]

BROOO

Someone should make a Debian fork and call it Lesbian

[zenith-of-gahhh]

"Curious..." he murmered. "Very curious..."

"I'm sorry," Harry said, "but what's curious?"

Olivander simply looked at him for a long moment, a strange light in his eyes, before he spoke so abruptly that Harry jumped.

"Curious, my boy, is of course the adjective form of the noun curiosity—"

[forgottenfuturist]

I tried to do a comedy thing.

[amminadabz]

wug

i learned about a stupid looking bird today and i cant stop laughing

its called a crested satinbird (cnemophilus macgregorii)

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

Hmm…

[delicatedarknight]

Tim: so why should we select you?

Guy A: I'm rich and handsome

Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?

Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.

Guy A: ex-xcuse me??

Damian: you are excused. Now get out

Tim: and what about you?

Guy b: I can protect him

Damian: protect?? dad??

Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.

Guy b: but he ain't Batman though

Jason: bitch he might be

Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?

Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman

Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce

Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day

Tim: so what makes you special?

Clark: I can cook for him

Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?

Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him

Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.

Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-

Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud

Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece

Clark: uh..soo

Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.

Dick: Definitely

Jason: prepare your vows

Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background

Clark: oh it was Bruce

[collective HUH from batkids]

Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys

[collective even louder HA]

Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating

[collectively yelling WHAT]

Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me

[collective screaming]

[foolishskull]

another quick silly. my favorite bad guys are so fresh

[amminadabz]

This is the future liberals want

They brought JFK back to life, but as security, they biologically engineered a thick-thighed, superpowered anime girl to guard him.

Also, the Earth was flooded so all the buildings were on stilts.

[imheretoreadafic]

Something i find hilarious about the bats is the fact that all of them - though some do it more (Bruce) - will double down when they realize they're actually wrong.

Kon: *Clearly frustrated and annoyed* "God you're ridiculous sometimes, Tim! Penguins do not eat other birds!"

Tim: "You can think that, but you're wrong."

Kon: *appalled noises as he storms out.*

Damian, who walked in at the end"..."

Damian: "Drake, do you really believe that penguins eat other birds? That's incredibly idiotic."

Tim: "Oh. Yeah, no, i immediately realized i was wrong the minute it left my mouth, but Kon laughed at me and called me dumb and I was NOT letting him get away with that."

Damian: "Tch, that's so immature."

Tim: "Oh, so you're going to tell Jon that you actually can't breathe under water for a half hour and you meant to say a quarter of an hour?"

Damian:"..."

Damian: "Point taken."

Jason: *Watched the whole argument like it was a TV show* "Really, it's the responsible thing to do. If we admit we were wrong about one thing, they'll think we're wrong about other things when we aren't."

[zeropro]

Your seekers trine all have pets, is it mean than other trines of seekers, like coneheads have pets too? Or does Sunstorm has any pet, like his eidolon Statscream?

[amminadabz]

If you had infinite monkeys at infinite computers for infinite time, eventually one of them would draw a photorealistic penis in MS Paint

[xielianlover2]

[danjiisthmus]

XD

It's true when they say your face gets stuck like that.