#attempted humor

[foolishskull]

caught one of the will wood screenings in my area with my boyfriend and this happened

[queerdemondisaster]

I'm a masc leaning non-binary pagan. A he/them if you will.

* Did not expect the post to blow up like this. Thank you all so much!

[amgeryporcupine]

Madara Time-Travel AU specials part 2 (last) ft. Magic puddle

I'm back but not really lol

[amminadabz]

BROOO

Someone should make a Debian fork and call it Lesbian

[zenith-of-idiocy]

"Curious..." he murmered. "Very curious..."

"I'm sorry," Harry said, "but what's curious?"

Olivander simply looked at him for a long moment, a strange light in his eyes, before he spoke so abruptly that Harry jumped.

"Curious, my boy, is of course the adjective form of the noun curiosity—"

[forgottenfuturist]

I tried to do a comedy thing.

[amminadabz]

This is the future liberals want

They brought JFK back to life, but as security, they biologically engineered a thick-thighed, superpowered anime girl to guard him.

Also, the Earth was flooded so all the buildings were on stilts.

[delicatedarknight]

Tim: so why should we select you?

Guy A: I'm rich and handsome

Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?

Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.

Guy A: ex-xcuse me??

Damian: you are excused. Now get out

Tim: and what about you?

Guy b: I can protect him

Damian: protect?? dad??

Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.

Guy b: but he ain't Batman though

Jason: bitch he might be

Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?

Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman

Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce

Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day

Tim: so what makes you special?

Clark: I can cook for him

Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?

Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him

Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.

Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-

Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud

Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece

Clark: uh..soo

Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.

Dick: Definitely

Jason: prepare your vows

Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background

Clark: oh it was Bruce

[collective HUH from batkids]

Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys

[collective even louder HA]

Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating

[collectively yelling WHAT]

Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me

[collective screaming]

[zeropro]

Your seekers trine all have pets, is it mean than other trines of seekers, like coneheads have pets too? Or does Sunstorm has any pet, like his eidolon Statscream?

[xielianlover2]

[foolishskull]

another quick silly. my favorite bad guys are so fresh

[danjiisthmus]

XD

It's true when they say your face gets stuck like that.

[whydousernamesevenexist]

Mid life crisis? Yeah, I'd have a crisis too if my life was mid

[amminadabz]

If you had infinite monkeys at infinite computers for infinite time, eventually one of them would draw a photorealistic penis in MS Paint

[ukiyoebirds]

Megatron has him so fooled, guys. Trust me, there’s no way Orion will ever find out.

Click on the image for better quality.

Joke workshopped with @krazycat6167, my partner in crime and comedy. (I think we’re funny).

[imheretoreadafic]

How many times I think the Robins bit a rouge

Dick: Never ("ew, I don't want their blood diseases tf"). When he was young, he did get so frustrated during an argument with Bruce he licked him, though.

Jason: The Joker's arms were covered in scratches and bites.

Tim: Had to be directly told to stop biting people because everyone was worried about him getting a disease.

Damian: A few times, each time was because he got held so tightly he couldnt get out, panicked (not that he'd ever admit it), and bit into the first bit of flesh he could get.