#sunstorm attempts humor

[zeropro]

Your seekers trine all have pets, is it mean than other trines of seekers, like coneheads have pets too? Or does Sunstorm has any pet, like his eidolon Statscream?

[sparkmender]

I did not, in fact, enjoy any bit of the suspension cradle. This is one of the few images I have of myself during my… captivity… under the hospitality of the Council of Twelve.

I kept slipping every restraint or cell they put me in, regardless of how nicely appointed the cage or how restrictive the punishment. Six of Twelve decided total suspension would work, and I would still be easily accessible for Four of Twelve’s work.

They’re dead and I am not. Funny how these things work themselves out. I did have to punch the Moon a few times first, though.

This was a poor attempt at a joke in reference to some of the discussions going around lately, as well as Sunstorm being up and about. I apologize for upsetting you. Sometimes my humor comes out much darker than I intend it to. I’ll be more careful to… hmm, think more on these kinds of things before putting them up.

[chrome-mind]

TFA Starscream clones x reader headcanons?

Skywarp is a meek companion, he’s very hard to convince too. He’s a bit insecure, bordering on blunt paranoia. As long as he’s got someone to reassure him he can be fairly stable. Don’t ask him for opinions though, he’ll be afraid of answering incorrectly.

Slipstream is an enigma, as a clone and as a person. She’s not very predictable and can be a bit spontaneous at times. Very sarcastic sense of humor, but as least she has one, which can not be said for all of her counterparts. She’s quite attentive to her romantic partner.

Thundercracker makes it quite clear that only the best are worthy of his attention, you aren’t quite sure if it’s attempt at flattery or an attempt to salvage his image and pride. Date nights usually consist of listening to his excessive rants.

Ramjet obviously hates everything about you. Awful. Disgusting. He actually seems to… pout? After noticing how obvious his affections are to people. He can’t help it, really.

Sunstorm is irritating enough when he’s sucking up to people he doesn’t care about, but he’s insufferable to anyone he does care about. At least he’s genuine enough.

[ourcollectivefantasy]

Iloam - Love Thing

Name: Iloam Blacksong

Nickname: Loam, Prince of Flaws, Red, “Pretty,” Father Gender: Male Romantic Orientation: Pansexual Preferred Pet Names: Red is the only one he doesn’t mind.  Relationship Status: Dating Aelberyn & Jericho Bloodsword. Dating Rethelia Fallowtide. Married to (but separated) from Kharris Dawndancer-Blacksong. @rethelia @kharrisdawndancer

Favorite Canon Ship: Iloam’s fave couple is Lysonde & Calanus Riverblade, performance dancers for The Succulent Tart. He started out as just a fan of theirs in the audience, but they introduced themselves to him one night after a show and they’ve been both friends and lovers ever since. They are both great people individually and as a couple. @stormofmercy @riverblade

Favorite Non-Canon Ship: They might be lovers, and he doesn’t know either way, but Iloam ships Raerys & Tris pretty consistently and would be chuffed to hear if those two just went for it. @raerys-songbrook @trisandrah 

Opinion on True Love:  “True Love are someone tha yeh can trust more’n yeh trust yerself. It aren’t someone yeh would die or kill fer, but someone yeh would stay alive forever fer.”

Opinion on Love at First Sight: “It depends. Tha’s usually jest yer cock, but t’ere are forces in t’e Universe tha we dunnae ken.”

How ‘Romantic’ are they?: “I aren’t really? Nae in a traditional sense like Blue. I try ta take notice o’ t’ings I ken t’ey like an put in extra effort ta show I took time fer t’em.”

Ideal Physical Traits: (Type 1 - F) Long dark hair, pale skin, gothy, thin or frail. (Type 2 - F) Blonde hair, athletic, long legs, perky nose. (Type 3 - M) Tall, extremely muscular, broad shoulders, big arms, highly masc, short beard/goatee. Prefers dark hair, but can also be “silver fox” or blonde. (In general) Tattoos, piercings, freckles, graceful hands, great ass, small tits, alto voices, plush mouths.

Ideal Personality Traits:  Highly Intelligent, confident, powerful. Prefers scientific, studious, or medically minded. Great sense of humor, sense of adventure, enjoys travel. Gravitates towards people with above average talent in whatever they pursue (sailors, dancers, musicians, artisans, etc). 

Unattractive Physical Traits: Bad teeth, protruding bones (tusks don’t count) or exposed rotting flesh, really bad hair cuts, unkempt/unclean, oily skin, unpleasant smell. Especially dislikes men with long, unclipped nails or nails with dirt under them. 

Ideal Date: Backstage passes to an indie concert at a small/mid-size venue to see a local punk band. Pre-game party before the show. Free flowing drugs & booze backstage. Blowjob in the balcony between sets. Sitting on the street after the show chain smoking thissle, drunk, and eating street vendor food at 2AM. Fucking in the back alley. Tumbling home and going for a few more rounds until the sun comes up.  

Do they have a type?: See above. 

Average Relationship Length: When actually committed? Either 1-3 years or it lasts forever. 

Preferred Non-Sexual Intimacy: Reading outloud to his partner, playing music and singing for them, comfortable silence while working but in each other’s company, letting his partner sleep or cuddle on him.

Commitment Level: Once a commitment is established, extremely high. Iloam has never been the one to break up from any partner. That said, he’s also not that commitment inclined? It takes a very special person/gut feeling to make him consider it as an option.

Opinion of Public Affection: In others, it doesn’t bother him at all. Fuck in front of him, he doesn’t care. For himself, he actually tends to not show much PDA. It’s usually the people he’s NOT standing next to or flirting with at a party that he’s actually fucking behind closed doors. He’s very private.

Past Relationships?: 

Very early relationship with Tylien Sunstorm. Youthful, optimistic, athletic blonde. Attempt to “be normal” and “fit in” - rejection of his sociopathy and serial killing urges. Failed on his side of things, broke her heart. She married a total jock hunter type pretty quickly after. 

A long and passionate affair with Ixinane Stormcren. Never official. On and off-again. HIGHLY tempestuous & violent. Shared a soul for a time - can still feel each other when near. She often dissapears from his life for long periods and shows up unexpectantly. Adopted-Mother to Halodante, his only victim to escape  @stormcren @halodante

An enemy-turned-lover dark love affair with Marquis Ythgar Vinguld. Captured, tortured, raped, broken and Stokholm-Syndrome gaslighted. Ashamed of latent homosexuality, Ythgar dumped Iloam and married his beard instead. Now estranged. Iloam secretly visits every Winter’s Viel to check on his health & well being.

Collared D/s relationship with Lain Duskhollow. Highly violent, indulgent in every self-destructive behavior possible. Murder team. Turned to power imbalance as Lain lost control to the void and sank into complete madness and loss of self. Iloam blames himself and carries tremendous guilt and self-hatred for death/disappearance of Lain’s brother, lovers, and unborn child - as well as what happened to Lain himself. @laindarkhilt 

Tagged by: @ellwelune

Tagging: @duskwrath @selysona-wra @cyrolar-riverblade @smith-hadeon @riverblade @audemus-dawnspark @orliando @arkhos-ravenscar @saeil-moonblade @lilliwhitedawn

[ao3feed-harrydraco]

by Petriverdurilla

德拉科在和哈利做爱时会暂时性失去魔力而哈利在高潮时会魔力暴动。

别纠结这个题目和设定，纯粹小破车。

Words: 576, Chapters: 1/1, Language: 中文

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

Additional Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Fluff and Smut, Bottom Harry, Frottage, First Time, Out of Character, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Attempt at Humor, Wordcount: 6763