#at this situation like. at least im not doing this as badly as my step-kid is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bookersebastien · 2 years ago

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After the Rain (Buck x Eddie)

happy birthday to one of my favorite people and someone im so lucky to call my friend @kate-sheffield

our conversations are always the best inspiration, ily

warnings: mention of death, mention of miscarriage

It's late afternoon when Bucks hangs up the phone, the rays of sunlight splashed over the table are slowly turning golden as they fade to make way for the coming moonlight and the meteorologist is on tv talking about possible rain hitting the LA area but he can barely hear it now. Everything had gone suddenly quiet, brought to a faint hum except the roaring of the blood pounding in his ears. His hands felt like they were numb, he could no longer feel the table beneath his palm and his fingertips were tingling.

The baby was gone.

The firefighter onesie was still upstairs in the fire truck gift bag, tucked carefully into the corner of his closet. He was waiting for the baby shower to give it to Connor and Kameron. He even got orange tissue paper to match the little flames on the side. Just a couple weeks away from finding out the sex of their baby, not that either of them cared anyway and now they would never know. 'Some kind of chromosomal anomaly,' is what Connor said it was. The gift sat upstairs now, what was supposed to be a celebration of a new family was now an adorable testament to his never-ending list of failures. He wondered why he even let himself get his hopes up.

He found himself half drunk on Eddie's doorstep a few hours later, sorrow and anger burned off already on a bottle of whiskey and a bruised hand, now he was sick of being alone. It must've been late, Buck wasn't completely sure, but Chris was already in bed so they stood in the kitchen while Buck slurred through the story of getting the call from Connor. They had decided to adopt now, it would help a child in need and relieve themselves from the pain and pressure that's built up from every failed step to becoming parents so far.

"I don't think I realized how much I wanted it, you know? Like I built it up in my head of this idea of a family and now I don't know what to do. I was going to be a father and now I have nothing." Buck sipped from the glass of water Eddie had given him and he could feel the ache in head recede a little. Eddie was now watching him through narrowed eyes, arms crossed as he leaned in the doorway while Buck sat at the counter, head laying heavy in his hand.

"Listen Buck, you have every right to your emotions. This is the kind of news any parent fears and they are your friends, and I know how badly you wanted to help them but please I hope you understand that this was not going to make you a father. That wasn't going to be your kid and it wasn't your family. It was theirs," Eddie spoke, barely managing to bite back his annoyance and something else Buck was in no state to understand, and then quickly turned to rummage through the fridge, the action not disguising the tense set to his shoulders.

"Well, I mean not technically. I know that but-"

"Do you actually know that Buck? Do you? Because in my opinion someone who knew that wouldn't even use the word father to describe themselves in this situation and would definitely not have bought an LAFD onesie for a kid that wasn't yours." He wiped at his face before turning to shut the fridge with a loud thud, his eyes staring hard at the wall behind Buck.

"I mean I thought it would be cute, it doesn't mean anything," Buck replied, his head was too fuzzy for this conversation and he was beginning to feel the anger rising in his chest again. He thought Eddie would be more understanding, or at least less hostile.

"Normally no. Could be a cute gift for the kid of a college friend, yeah that's true but I know you Buck. I heard it in your voice when you called and said you were going to be a father. You let yourself get too invested. This gift coming from you is not as innocent as you want to act like it is. It is forging a connection to something and people you have no right to try and make." Eddie's voice rose slightly and he instinctively took a glance down the hall, where they could both hear Chris turning in his sleep.

Buck watched him as he paced further into the kitchen and farther from the door, but he noticeably stayed as far from Buck as he could manage, arms coming back over his chest. Buck knew he shouldn't say anything but he's never been one to necessarily control his impulses and the words came tumbling out, "The baby is gone Eddie. I know it's their family that's affected but I lost something too okay?! I don't know if I'm ever going to have my own family, my own real family and it felt like this was my chance and now I don't know if I will ever get another one. And now it's like I'm alone again."

"Stop talking like that!" Eddie's voice came out as a hiss. His eyes were daggers, holding Buck's in place like it was against his throat. "Stop acting like you are some lone wolf kicked out of his pack. I know the stuff with your parents was shitty, I know that. But please stop acting like you are alone in this world, like you don't have a family. I can't believe you would even say that. You have Maddie back in your life and a niece for god's sake! You have all of us at the firehouse, the whole team is your family Evan!"

"It's not the same-"

"As what? Having your own child? It wasn't your kid Buck! Besides, if you think for one second Christopher doesn't think of you as family, then you are not as observant as you like to think. You may not be a father, but you have become like a dad to him over the years and imagine how he'd feel to hear you throwing him, throwing us away like that. I cannot believe you. I thought we were your family, what else has all this time together been?" His face changed then, the tension left his shoulders and he made eye contact again they were almost pleading.

"I..." He had about a million thoughts running through his head, but this conversation had gone so different than he'd imagined that he couldn't even think of how he wanted to respond.

"Listen, it's late, I think you should leave."

And that was it for that night. Buck left in an Uber and woke up the next morning with an intense hangover and an ache in his chest he didn't understand. He spent the day trying to get ahold of Eddie, calls and texts were left unanswered and he was greeted by an empty driveway after he tried for drastic measures. That was two days ago and still no sign of him, he even had his work shifts changed so he never has so much as caught a glimpse of him.

"I mean I get what Eddie is saying but I feel like he's acting like I'm not allowed to have my own feelings about this. I can feel sad right?" He meant it as a rhetorical question but it came out more desperate than he intended so for a moment it just hung in the air between them. He and Hen were sitting in his kitchen enjoying dinner from the Thai place down the street and he was suddenly very thankful she agreed to eat at his place as his voice grew louder.

"I don't think that's what Eddie is upset about," she replied like she expected him to say this, and Buck guessed his insistence they have dinner was less casual than he wanted it to sound because he really did want to talk to someone about it. Someone who wasn't Eddie, or Maddie because he knew she would agree with Eddie.

He had barely touched his food since it arrived, only picking at his noodles and taking small bites. "That's that it seemed like he was mad about Hen. I mean you should have seen how upset he was, like somehow me feeling like I was losing a family was wrong.' He sighed. His chopsticks fell back into his bowl as he leaned back in his seat, hands coming to wipe his face. "I don't know what to do. He's avoiding me and I still feel like I'm not in the wrong here."

"That's not what this is about Buck and that's probably why he's still not talking to you. You are misunderstanding his feelings. This is not about who is in the wrong or right. You are absolutely entitled to your feelings about this. You are allowed to feel loss, to feel sad, for yourself and for your friends and no one would tell you otherwise. But you acting like they were somehow going to become your family is where this gets muddy. First, that's not how these things work unless they explicitly mentioned it and second, think of everything that has happened in the last few years and please explain how you think you have no family. Maybe Eddie feels like you're just casting them aside for some weird version of a family and you're not realizing what's in front of you."

There was a silence after she spoke where he felt like everything in his life shifted, not drastically but just enough for the light to illuminate them. He thought of all the time he spends with Christopher, how he picks him up after school some days, helps him with homework, and spends the weekends playing video games or hitting the park. He thinks of the big moments he was there for in his life, not just as a spectator but having actively participated in his life. And in Eddie's. Because that's where he felt happy, where he felt safe, and most of all: complete. And something Eddie said to him the say they fought replays in his mind. "You have become like a dad to him," and the ache in his chest suddenly vanished.

All this time they were already a family, him, Eddie and Chris. He had been letting other things cloud his emotions and even at some points blatantly ignoring them because it's not how he imagined his family when he was younger. But it was them. And he could even see the rest of his life now in front of him, parent-teacher meetings, Chris going off to college, opening presents on Christmas eve, pancake breakfasts, lazy Sundays in bed with Eddie.

He had wanted to become a better Buck, but there was always something holding him back. And now he realizes it was him being afraid of being happy because Eddie makes him happy and he knows he always will because from the moment they met it's always been him.

"Uh, Hen I think I gotta go." He grabbed his jacket and keys, barely remembering his phone as he raced towards the door.

She just shook her head, carefully piling some of his noodles onto her plate before replying to herself, "About damn time."

He stumbled out of the building, legs nearly buckling as he flew down the steps, now slick with the rain he could now vaguely remember the weather person mentioning but now was not the time to think of his rain jacket sitting in his closet and the thin jacket that he haphazardly threw on while rushing outside, already soaking through to the skin.

The rain was coming down harder now and he was forced to drive at a crawl as the traffic condensed around him, the road and cars barely visible in front of him but it's not like he didn't know the way to Eddie's house by heart. He probably didn't even need to see to make it there. The drive seemed impossibly long this time though and it wasn't just the traffic. His mind kept playing through different scenarios, running away with each and every possibility until Buck's hands were nearly shaking on the wheel. Normally Eddie was the person he could talk to about anything, without anything holding him back, and now he felt himself almost at a loss for words as he continuously failed to think of any possible way to tell him how he feels. Dealing with emotions had never been Buck's strong suit and telling your best friend you're in love with him was an extreme he rarely let himself deal with much less act on.

And now he could just barely make out Eddie's truck in the driveway as he turned on his street, the sight of causing his heart to skip a beat as he thought of what he was about to do. His headlights barely illuminated the house with the rain, all the windows dark except a dim glow coming from behind the shades of the front window. It was Sunday, Buck remembered, which meant it was movie night. And it also meant Buck probably would have been inside hadn't it been for their argument. He's not even sure if Eddie will even speak to him, he could just slam the door in his face but he wouldn't know until he tries.

The walk to the door somehow seems endless and completely new, like he was seeing the space for the very first time. The rain no longer seemed to bother him as it soaked the skin beneath his jacket as he took in the sight of the door ahead of him, despite the circumstances it seemed more inviting. Hours had seemingly passed by the time his knuckles rapped against that door and even longer until he heard familiar footsteps, the creak of the door opening sending his heart into a spin until their eyes met and Buck watched as Eddie's mouth quickly turned into a hard line, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned against the door, careful to keep it as closed as possible.

"What do you want, Buck? I'm kind of busy, I'm sure you know it's movie night." His voice was even hard, refusing to give up anything behind it.

"Yeah, I uh-remembered that," he chuckled, his nerves getting the better of him now that he was face to face with him. No amount of preparation on the way here had let any string of words sound even remotely worthy of conveying what he was feeling but he managed to mutter a beginning to something, "Listen Eddie, I wanted to say sorry about the other night. I understand that what I said wasn't right considering my circumstances, you were right."

"Do you actually understand or do you just want me to forgive you?"

At his harsh tone, Buck could feel his courage creeping back inside him, his desperate urge to get his feelings out and his desire to fight for what he wanted had the words suddenly spilling from his lips before he could think.

"I do understand. I think I let myself get caught up in the idea of a family happening because of me and not ending because of me, because I wasn't good enough. My family sucked growing up and I let myself get too involved in this one because I felt like it would prove something was right about me. But that shouldn't have meant that I lost sight of what I have because I see it now, I feel the love I have now. I do have Maddie back and now I have Jee-Yun and Chim and the rest of the crew but what you and Chris are to me is not the same. You are like my family in a way it's taken me too long to realize, maybe because I didn't think I deserved it," his voice dropped to almost a whisper at the end, the words he was so terrified to speak sitting on the tip of his tongue.

"You mean so much to me and I cannot imagine my life without you or Chris-"

"What are you saying Buck?" His voice was deeper now, but gone was the harshness that was there before and instead Buck allowed himself to imagine for a moment that it was hope, that it was desire clouding his words. And it was the look in his eyes that cemented Buck's feet to the ground, the fleeting thought of running away gone as he finally said those three words.

"I love you Eddie."

He couldn't say anymore as Eddie was now pulling him in, hands grasping at his face and lips pressing desperately to his in a moment he only allowed himself to dream of in the loneliest of nights. And now he wasted no time pulling him by the hips until their bodies were flush against each other, feet tripping over each other as Buck backed him against the wall, the rain dripping down their faces and in between their lips as the storm grew and the wind whipped around them. He could feel every breath Eddie took and shared in each one as their chests rose and fell together. His hands snaked their way to Eddie's back, a groan slipping past his lips as he felt the hot skin beneath his shirt and Eddie was all too eager to return the favor as his hands found their way into his hair, fingers pulling at the short strands hard enough to make Buck gasp.

Just as their clothes began to slip off, Buck's hands trailing the edge of Eddie's pants, Christopher's voice ran out from the living room. "Dad, is that Buck? He's just in time for movie night! I told you he'd make it!"

They broke apart with quiet laughter, and Eddie had to take a few breaths before replying, "Yeah Chris it's Buck, you were right! He wouldn't miss movie night." He said the last part while glancing up at Buck through his lashes, their faces so close their noses were touching and Buck had never felt so light in his life. Everything he wanted was right here.

They let their foreheads touch briefly once more before straightening themselves out, hands finding each other in the low light. Eddie stopped him just before they walked inside, giving him one more kiss before whispering softly against his lips, "I love you too."

"And also Chris would want me to tell you that the movie was his idea. He was very excited about it, said you were going to love it. Something about coral reefs." And that's how he entered this new, yet definitely always meant to be part of his life; surrounded by the two people he loved most in the world and that he couldn't be prouder to call his family.

#911 #911 fic #buck x eddie #usrbkr writes #BEA I HOPE YOU ENJOY #ILYSM #and now im off to bed #usermoonlight #usernicolo

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moisummertime · 2 years ago

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These days all I pray for is for something I want. like I light up the incense just to force universe for something that might not good for me. So today I change the words. I just ask the Creator to reveal what I need to see. Im not the most sensitive person in the room, so I always have to see things exttttra clearly. My intuition direct me to certain thoughts but the cycle is not yet done. Therefore I will not have a final decision until early next month. I take my time. This period of time is def confusing. My impatient ass just want everything to be revealed before my eyes, but then things just slowly unfold. What a way to test my patience. And I obviously rush things, at least something is happening while Im trying to figure things out. I might turn 30 this year, and the govt agency for family planning might gonna say I missed my best time to have kids, but life just different for some people I guess? And I’m glad I don't have kids from my exes :kewl: Now I start to think that maybe Im wasting so much time with stuff by jumping around and seek for other experiences to happen. But maybe that’s also the way I should go through? IDK. I’ll just do things the same, but maybe with different perspective each day. Hopefully by writing my reflection here I can figure out some small stuff. But then again, why I ended up making a public blog and just pouring all my thoughts here? Am I craving for validation so badly that I need people to understand me by reading all these stuff? Am I an emotional slut? lmao :””””D anyway, I don’t know why but it feels so right to just show the world how fucked up my life and I have zero idea what to do with it sometimes. Im almost 30 but here I am. Confused af. lol In certain situations I thought it would be best to act like I got my shit together, but I know what I need for most part. But somehow Im still exploring on some other parts. Like you might never know what’s next and your action will be depending on the next unexpected event that will happen to your life. I guess having certain attitude is good, you keep your boundaries. My boundaries got tested all the time this year. Like I allow things to happen to just see and observe before I make a final decision on it. And it somehow reminds me of this line from Women by Charles Bukowski: “Women: I liked the colors of their clothing; the way they walked; the cruelty in some faces; now and then the almost pure beauty in another face, totally and enchantingly female. They had it over us: they planned much better and were better organized. While men were watching professional football or drinking beer or bowling, they, the women, were thinking about us, concentrating, studying, deciding - whether to accept us, discard us, exchange us, kill us or whether simply to leave us. In the end it hardly mattered; no matter what they did, we ended up lonely and insane.”

― Charles Bukowski, Women Observation, observation, Im watching all the steps, carefully write them down in my secret journal, capturing all the things they said, they did, and how it made me feel. Some might think I’m obsessed with them but Im trying to figure out if I really like the man or not. Now I somehow feel like Im such a bitch to make men think Im obsessed with them for investing so much in them, but all I do is still trying to figure things out. I gave them all these stuff, and then I wait and see what they gave me in return. So Im not just testing my boundaries all the time but theirs. To see how far they would go, because I can go on miles and miles, and still hold my next move just to see theirs first. But not often I also operate more with my feelings. And damn boy, feels suck to get ghosted and dumped when I thought that person will not do such things. These days men-women relationship is def easier. You meet one, you see if you have same vision or not, if it doesn't work out, you’ll find another person who has the same vision as you are. And the cycle never stops somehow. You just keep meeting new people all the time. And we are all just become a slut in this life lmao. What a time to be alive. And somehow all my writings are end up with me complaining about dating lol

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filterjeons · 4 years ago

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private show | jjk

✦ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

✦ summary: throughout your relationship, you never thought jungkook would ask a certain type of action from you. however, you take it into consideration...without the intention of him nearly catching you

✦ rating: M, not suitable for minors

✦ genre: smut

✦ word count: 7.4k

✦ warnings: dom!jungkook, sub!reader, tsundere!reader, rough & unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it!!), dirty talk, degradation bc im a whore for that, masterbation, voyeurism, oral (f receiving), fingering, orgasm denial

Honestly, you didn’t know what you did in your past life to earn a man like Jungkook but you weren’t complaining one bit anyways. By just one look at you, people assumed you weren’t the type to have a boyfriend and you would spend the rest of your life alone. Luckily, you managed to prove them all wrong by being with someone who loved you for the way you were instead of your money.

It was a blessing and a curse to be born into a rich family of doctors who expected you to be the heir of the family hospital. Despite having your future already planned for you, you fell in love with playing the violin after being introduced to it when you were young. The feeling of holding the violin against your jaw as the bow ran across the strings to produce a classical melody that you’ve familiarized yourself with throughout the years.

You would much rather be at a violin recital in a beautiful dress playing one of Bach’s sonatas than being cooped up in your room studying biology. However, your parents didn’t feel the same way.

When you were about 6, you ranked second at a competition against tons of kids who were in their later-preteens but that wasn’t enough to prove to your parents how much you loved music. They took it as a sign of failure because “it’s not being first” and always used that argument against you to emphasize on how you have to be at the top of your class.

“Mommy! Guess what, I got second place! Second out of a bunch of bigger kids! I didn’t expect-” you squealed, kicking the back of the limo’s glass partition. Instead of candy, you were buzzing with excitement due to how well you placed in your county’s music recital. But what you didn’t know was that even a place close to first was never enough. “Why didn’t you get first?”

As those words ran through your ears, you felt your blood run cold and the eyes that were dancing of excitement and joy started to dull. You clutched your certificate tightly, tears starting to swell up.

“That’s because there was a sixth grader who was better than me and she was really good, she can play the piano-” “You see, if you can’t get first then you shouldn’t pursue a career in music. It’s too hard and competitive for you anyways. How about you focus on your studies, especially since you’re going to take over the hospital when you’re older.”

Up until last year which was your freshman year of college, you obeyed them by devoting your time to studying and only treating music as just a hobby while you hide your feelings along the way. Now that you think about it, you barely had friends during high school since every break period, you were always alone in the music room and you were too stubborn to go up to people. The only reason why you would talk to someone is to work on a group project but it ended up being that you would do all of the work while they slack off.

Everyday felt dull and uninteresting, especially since you’re being put in a fate that you don’t even want. But like some stupid cliche, it all changed ever since you met him.

You didn’t even intend to meet him, hell you barely knew he existed. But the night of your chemistry midterm, the apartment next to you decided to have a party which most of the school is invited to and blast loud music that could be heard from the next town over.

It couldn’t get any worse as you were already stressed from college and your parent’s crazy expectations and you were definitely not failing otherwise you’re dead meat. Normally, you would just try to sleep it out with earplugs but since you barely ate anything but coffee and granola bars and you were tired from the 24 hour studying, that was your last straw. So you did the thing a person would do in your situation: marching over to the party in your purple star-printed nightgown to give them a piece of your mind.

Already at the door, you could feel people’s stares burn into you, due to why you came to the party when you didn’t bother interacting with people and why you were in your pajamas. Maybe people were going to talk about you on Instagram but you didn’t care, you just wanted to ensure that you have enough sleep so you could at least pass.

Unfortunately for you, you must’ve looked extremely stupid because you were wandering around the same area like a drunk man. Random people did offer to get you a drink but you declined; after all it was a school night. Eventually you gave up trying to even bother talking after seeing the host, local frat boy Jackson Wang, surrounded by the rest of the partygoers in a beer pong game.

Frustrated and exhausted, you hauled yourself up to a seemingly empty room and collapsed onto the bed. Not only did you enter a college party in your pajamas but you wasted precious time studying over something idiotic like this. With all of these negative emotions inside of you, screaming inside a pillow was the first thing that came into your mind. And unfortunately, someone had to be the witness of your near mental breakdown.

“Woah, is everything okay?” a velvety voice chuckled, patting your back slightly. Well, another reason why your night is absolute shit. You turned your face up to chew off the mysterious person but for some reason, your voice was all caught up in your throat.

He was different, different from all of the boys that ever interacted with you. Despite you being a complete loner, the guys in your high school tried to hook up with you but you were never interested. They stunk of axe and the only reason why they’re “popular” is because they were on a sports team. Besides, you were too busy in your academics to even think about dating.

You couldn’t really see him but the guy who’s in the room with you looks better than every single guy in your high school combined: his long dark hair in a mini-ponytail contrasting with his cute bunny-like face.

“Wh-who are you?” “Jeon Jungkook. I’m a member of the boxing team and my family owns a records shop downtown. What about you?”

“I-i-” “Aren’t you Y/N, the smart girl who doesn’t talk to anybody and spends her time either studying or in the music room with her violin?” Thank god the room is dark because your face was burning up badly. Barely anyone knew you and if they did, they had bad things to say about you because you were so quiet and boring. However, what he said was a fact and you shouldn’t blame him for having an impression on you due to what other people said. It hurted nonetheless though, especially since he was a part of a sports team.

“Yeah, that’s me. What do you want? If it’s homework answers, then fine!” you snapped, immediately standing up and walking away. You were absolutely done with this night, all you wanted to do is sleep so you have some sanity tomorrow.

“You sure are feisty. It’s cute,” he said with a cocky grin stuck on his face. Oh, how you wanted to slap it off.

“If you’re asking me out, I’m not interested!” you fought back. Although you were one step out of the door, something about him made you want to stay. Like you wanted to talk to him.

“I didn’t say anything about that but if you want it that way-”

“No! I-I’m sorry for acting all rude, I’m just having a really bad night and I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone,” you mumbled, turning on the light. Oh how it was a bad idea..

Now that you could really see his face clearly, your heart felt like it was about to explode. He was dressed in a simple all-black T-shirt and jeans with combat boots to match. What really captivated you were the tattoos on his hand and up to his elbow, each symbol and design etched out beautifully which must’ve taken hours.

Although you were at least wearing clothes, you felt exposed due to the stupid pajamas you have on. He somehow sensed your embarrassment and gave you a small smirk which made it ten times worse.

“Well, do you want to explain why you were screaming in a pillow earlier?” Normal you definitely wouldn’t spill her feelings to a hot guy she just met five minutes ago but with him, you felt safe. Like for one night, all your worries and feelings are immediately gone and it’s just you and him.

Was this the stupid shit they call “love at first sight”?

“My midterm is tomorrow and I can’t sleep from all of the noise so I came here to yell at the host of the party. Jackson Wang, fuck you and your decision to host a party today,” you sighed, settling yourself next to him. You would expect him to immediately laugh and make fun of you since it was something a lot of people did to you whenever you cared about your grades. Instead, he looked at you with understandment and listened to what you had to say.

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I went to this stupid party in the first place,” he replied, making you snort out a laugh. As you were trying to collect yourself from his statement, Jungkook’s mouth turned up into a small smile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect that. Anyways, I guess I should get going since I have a big day ahead of me,” you smiled, feeling a small weight being lifted off of your shoulders. As you trudge out the door, Jungkook’s arm stops yours for a second.

“Do you think I can have your phone number? Not for dating but you sound like a really cool person to be around and no offense but you seem lonely.” “Thanks for the compliment. But here you go,” you said sarcastically, scribbling down your phone number on a random piece of stationary in the drawer next to the bed. Maybe this is all a fever dream, maybe you’re hallucinating due to how little sleep you’ve gotten during midterm week.

“I’ll see you soon…” he waved you goodbye as you gave a final look at the door. He was interesting but now isn’t the time to be distracted! You’re pretty sure that if you pinch yourself, you’ll be back in your dorm since this is just a dream? “Also, d-don’t take it the wrong way! It’s not like I like you or anything! I just wrote down my number because you asked nicely! We’re never going to date!” Not only did you pass your midterm but your last line to Jungkook in the stuffy college party would become your famous last words.

It’s been years since you and Jungkook met at that party and a lot has changed then. You started to grow feelings and date him a few weeks after your midterm, eventually making the relationship official in a month. After a few months into dating, he introduced his parents to you first. They were a sweet family with amazing home cooked meals which you were dying to recreate and luckily, they accepted you with open arms.

However, him meeting your parents wasn’t that smooth. Now that you look back on that day, not only were you permanently deciding to be with the one that you love but it also felt like you were breaking free out of the shell that your parents trapped you in because you didn’t want to go down the path they set for you.

You shook your head to yourself, not wanting to be reminded of the painful past. Now, you were a violinist playing in recitals and companies and Jungkook was running his parent’s record shop. You were happy and you didn’t care about what your stupid parents think. They can simply ask someone else to run the hospital and it’ll still be fine.

As soon as the practice track ended, you turned off the metronome and packed your violin away. The apartment that you and Jungkook shared was average-sized, a notable difference from the mansion you used to live in but it was better. You were with the person you love and that’s all you could ever need. It may sound corny but a simple life with him was all you ever wanted.

After you pack away your violin, you impatiently wait alongside the door for Jungkook to get home. Right now, he has boxing practice for a match next week and he wanted to stay with his teammate Taehyung to be the best that he can but he’s stopping by for a day. You’re not into boxing but like the good girlfriend you were, you attend most of his matches (some conflicted with your performances) and cheer him on.

Although you miss having him by your side, you’re also aware of how much boxing means to him as it was a break from the hectic life of owning a music store. Another positive in your new life was the amount of music there was, a good break from the science and math that filled your childhood.

You heard some jiggling among the door locks and surely enough, Jungkook’s handsome face was in your view. He was wearing a black sleeveless shirt and some blue jeans, a very simple outfit after spending most of his time at the boxing gym.

“Hey baby,” he cooed, giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“Hi. I’m so happy you’re back, I was starting to worry that you forgot about me,” you joked, carrying his boxing bag to your shared bedroom with him tagging behind.

“You know I would never forget about you,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the back of your neck. Instead of wriggling away like you normally do, you allow yourself to relish in his affection since he wasn’t a person who did it often.

“I missed you..” you mumbled, turning around and kissing him. He returned the kiss more passionately, slipping his tongue inside your mouth. The sudden action made you forget about everything, focusing only on him. Unfortunately, with your senses locked on him, it caused you to fall onto the bed, your head nearly hanging off of the edge. Jungkook used your weakness to have more control over the kiss and you, carefully grabbing the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Even though he always controls kissing you, his lips are also full of love and longing due to him being gone for too long.

“God I missed this,” he mumbled, breaking away to remove the buttons of your blouse and kissing the side of your neck. You whined from his touch, feeling a bit embarrassed due to how much time it’s been since the two of you were together.

“What is it baby girl, are you nervous? Come on, we’ve known each other for years and I know you can take anything I give you.” It was true of course but for some reason, it felt like the first time you had sex with him.

After your shirt has been taken off, you unconsciously cover your chest with your arms. You didn’t know why you’re acting so self-conscious, especially since you’ve been a challenger to him in bed.

“Hey, are you okay? We can stop if you don’t want to-” Jungkook asked softly, reaching over to take your hand.

What’s there to be nervous about? It’s just Jungkook and like he said, you’ve known him for too long. Besides, don’t you have too much pride to act this way? You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked back at him with a seductive smile.

“You were taking too long to take off my shirt. How boring,” you said coyly, tapping his nose playfully. He returned your gaze, his eyes darkened with lust and desire.

“Well then baby girl, how about you take off the rest of your clothes since you seem like you want to do it,” he muttered, sitting up with his attention completely on your chest. One thing you were infamous in your relationship for is being a brat, a mix of you being submissive but not backing down completely. Even though you liked being a good girl sometimes, the rest is just you on the receiving end. After all, you won’t back down to a challenge, nonetheless if your challenger’s your significant other.

If a person only based off of what they saw, they would think that you were the one taking absolute control due to the aura you give off and your harsh personality. However, at least between you and him since you were one to keep your private life a secret, he is the one with the reins and you were completely fine with it.

You unclipped your bra, throwing it at some random place in the room and revealed your exposed breasts. He ogled at your body up and down, his familiar lustful gaze running through his eyes.

“Hey, what are you staring at?” you barked, slowly starting to feel awkward. Unlike you, Jungkook had no shame when it came to your bedroom activities and there were times when he would just stare at you while you’re completely bare. How embarrassing...but it’s no big deal.

“Watch your mouth you little brat. Do I have to punish you on my day back?” he said darkly, his tone immediately making the back of your hairs stand up. Your face softened, heat forming in your cheeks as you twirled a random piece of your hair, a random habit that you’ve done since elementary school.

“I-I’m sorry.” “Sorry what, baby girl? You’re smarter than that.” “Sorry..sir.” After that word was uttered in your soft and obedient tone, Jungkook could feel his dick growing harder by the second. Hearing you give up all of your confidence and letting him control you never failed to turn him on.

“Now take off the rest of your clothes, sweetie. Or are you going to continue being a dumb little girl and keep playing with me,” he growled softly, leaning back on the bed frame. You felt like acting up some more but he truly was scary when he’s upset and you didn’t want to make his visit back bad because of your behavior so you simply did what he said. Even though you wouldn’t admit it to the world, you also love obeying Jungkook.

You quickly unzippered your jeans, pulling them off along with your panties and kicking them out of the bed. The warmth from the clothes were immediately replaced by the chilly air from the air conditioner, your nipples standing up and goosebumps filling your body. It was humiliating, especially since Jungkook can see you so clearly.

“My precious sweetheart,” he cooed, leaning over you and you could feel his hardened member alongside the roughness of his jeans as he slowly grinded into you.

“Ahh…” You didn’t know what to say, except you knew you wanted more. Jungkook’s mouth was latched onto your nipples, sucking them harshly while his other hand was massaging and flicking on them repeatedly. You felt your eyes roll back to your head and your pussy dampening, even though he wasn’t doing anything yet.

“You like this baby?” he asked gruffly, tugging on your nipple teasingly as it sends sparks of pleasure inside you. You only let out a whine in response as he broke apart from your chest and slowly made his way down your body.

All of a sudden, he inserted one of his long fingers inside of your core, sending vibrations throughout your body. You squealed from the intrusion as your body tried to familiarize itself with his finger, your walls clenching around his digit.

“Damn, have you gotten tighter since last time?” He started to thrust his finger in and out of you at a moderate pace, trying to get you used to the feeling. As if one isn’t enough for you, he suddenly inserted a second one to stretch you out.

Your mind was a haze, not paying attention to anything that was happening around you and focusing on the pleasure that Jungkook was giving you. His fingers attempted to reach the spongy section of your g-spot, the place that absolutely had you in hysterics. Surely enough, his fingertips grazed over it and you could nearly come undone at any second.

While he added an additional finger and completely filled you up, you could feel his smooth tongue on your clit, flicking and sucking on it feverishly. High-pitched moans and mewls were coming out of your mouth embarrassingly as you tugged on Jungkook’s long locks in order to steady yourself of the pleasure.

You could feel him curl his fingers and touch your g-spot, sending sparks within you. At this point, you were barely in a stable mindset due to how good he was making you feel. You felt a knot building up in your stomach, your orgasm coming close to you.

“Are you gonna cum now baby girl? Do you want to cum for Sir? Yeah, I know you do, I could feel it coming,” he said tauntingly, his fingers and tongue abusing your cunt and the vibrations among it made the sensation feel even better.

“Y-yeah, I’m gonna-” you whimpered pathetically but to your dismay, he completely stopped by sliding his fingers out and removing his face. With your release dismissed like it was nothing, you felt annoyance build up on you as your body shook from the denial.

“What the hell? Why did you stop?” you groaned, your eyes shooting sharp daggers at Jungkook. If looks could kill, he would surely be dead within two seconds. But all that’s on his face were your liquids and a cocky smirk that you want to wipe off instantly.

“Because I want you to cum on my dick first. It’s been so long since I’ve been inside you, y’know?” he said casually, pulling off his shirt like it was nothing and revealing his impressive 6-pack. One thing that you were always in awe of was his figure. Jungkook was a really athletic person, always finding time out of his day to work out and maintain his muscular body. You didn’t mind if he didn’t have abs but it neutralized his cute face that could easily kill anyone.

“It’s been a while, yeah? You ready kitten?” Jungkook kicked off his jeans and his boxer that covers his massive bulge was immediately in your vision. You could feel your thighs rubbing together as you were craving him inside you.

“You’re calling me kitten now?” you mumbled shyly as he sat on the edge of the bed, palming his hardened member.

“Yeah because you’re my cute kitty, aren’t you? Do you want to take off my boxers for me?” he smirked, knowing how excited you are to see him like this again. Like there was no tomorrow, you yanked it off impatiently and his dick sprang out, hitting his abs before standing up instantly.

“You’re excited, aren’t you? Don’t deny it,” Jungkook teased, stroking his member teasingly before setting you down on your back and hovering above you.

“I want it,” you mumbled impatiently, getting excited with the thought of him fucking you until you can’t walk again. He chuckled at your reaction, slowly slipping himself inside you. You shrieked from the sudden movement and tried to make yourself comfortable even though this wasn’t new to you.

“Alright baby, let’s go,” he said gruffly, slowly pulling out and slamming it back inside within the next five seconds. You let out a scream as he picked up the pace into the all-too familiar rough and fast one.

“Damn, you’ve gotten way tighter since the last time I’ve fucked your brains out. Feels so good for Sir,” he groaned, his dick completely filling you warm and deep to the point where it could nearly reach your guts. “Does my baby like that? Like getting dicked down where I can feel her in your stomach?” “Ahh, oh my god!” You could only moan and whine in response, pathetic noises coming out of your mouth as Jungkook’s dick hit every surface of your pussy. His veins already made it even more pleasurable and you could feel the tip grazing upon your g-spot, making you even more sensitive.

It hasn’t been long but embarrassingly, you could feel your orgasm arrive once again due to how good his dick was thrusting into you. As he continued to drill your abused cunt, you could feel your legs tremble at the sensitive feeling and the impending sensation of your orgasm starting to grow in your core.

“S-sir, oh my god-” you mewled as Jungkook used his force to flip you on your stomach, your face covered in the pillows. You couldn’t feel him inside you for a second but suddenly, he slammed inside you with no remorse and continued fucking you at that fast pace.

Your cunt throbs as you prepare yourself to cum all over his dick. Jungkook could sense it too by the way your walls started to tighten around him, making it even more pleasurable than the last time you two had sex due to how tight you were. You were praying that he doesn’t deny your orgasm again but there were times where he was that cruel. But you’ve behaved enough to not warrant that type of treatment.

“Is my baby gonna cum now? Go on, come for me, I want to see you come undone on my dick,” he chanted lowly, his pace fastening due to his orgasm coming in soon. Like his words set off a reaction inside you, you screamed out his name and squirted on his dick and stomach. Using that as fuel to keep going, Jungkook thrusts even faster than before to catch his own high as you try to calm yourself down from your own orgasm.

“Ahh, Jungkook-” you whined from the sensitivity but you kept holding on so he could cum too. The way his sweat dripped off of his forehead and complimenting with his dark locks nearly made you want to cum again.

“Fuck, I’m cumming, oh shit,” he moaned out, his thrusts slowing down and surely enough, you could feel his dick spurt out his seed inside you. He started to pull out and stroke himself, spurts of his cum filling up your pussy to not waste a drop.

You and him started to breathe heavily from the intense fuck as you gingerly pulled up the sheets to cover your body. It’s not like you were embarrassed of him seeing your body, it was a habit you did after you have sex with him.

“Did you miss me?” he smiled, lying down next to you and covering an arm around your waist. You nodded, snuggling up next to him on the neck of his crook. There weren't any words spoken from the both of you for a while, instead you were just enjoying the presence of him next to you because after today, he’ll be gone again.

If you had it your way, you didn’t want him to go but he really wanted to participate in his boxing match and what kind of girlfriend were you if you didn’t support him? Still, you loved every moment with him and he was the one thing you absolutely loved in your life.

After a moment of silence, Jungkook broke the silence by facing towards you with seriousness in his eyes. You were worried that something may have happened, so you braced yourself with the worst that could happen. But surprisingly, his words were a bigger shock than any other disaster you could think of.

“Y/N, do you mind if I ask something of you? I hope you don’t find it uncomfortable or invasive.” “Sure, what is it?” You should’ve known from the cheeky smirk he gave you that he was going to request this type of stuff.

“I want to see you touch yourself. I think you’ll look so hot fucking yourself with your fingers while all I’m doing is just watching you.” “What the hell?!”

You were lying if you said you didn’t think about it a lot, especially since Jungkook left the house today this afternoon. Now that he wasn’t there, the apartment felt lonely again and you automatically missed him.

However, the thought of him also brings you back to the conversation you had after you two had sex after a while.

“You’ve never touched yourself? I figured that something like that would come easy to you!” “Well- you know I have dignity right! It’s already embarrassing enough that I’m your submissive!”

“You’re right, it’s already hot seeing you act all whiny and needy for my touch.” “Shut up! Stop making fun of me!”

You shook your head, trying to get rid of Jungkook’s words. With the intent to clean your room to take some stuff out of your mind, you walked to the shared bedroom and started to rearrange random knick-knacks that were placed in peculiar locations.

While you were wandering around, your eye caught sight of a black duffel bag that was in a hidden corner of your bed. With curiosity, you approached it to check to see what was inside. It was heavy and filled with boxing gloves and other equipment, meaning that it was Jungkook’s.

He must’ve forgotten it when he left today, you mused, holding the glove to your chest. A normal person would immediately contact him and give it back but it was like a living piece of him, having its name and scent. You can’t believe you already miss him that much to hold onto his boxing gloves for some comfort. How pathetic.

The smell of him already reminded you of yesterday, when he touched you and made you feel so good. You groaned to yourself as you feel your panties dampening just from the thought of Jungkook giving you pleasure.

“Y’know what, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Alright Jungkook, I’ll do it,” you muttered to yourself as you slowly grazed your fingers to your lower region. You could already feel the slick coming out of your panties, signalling how wet you were.

You were a smart person but frankly, you were confused on how to touch yourself especially since this was your first time. Memories of the way Jungkook inserted and thrusted his fingers inside you flashed through your mind, giving you an idea on how to start.

You slide your panties off to your ankles and slowly insert your index finger inside of your core, letting yourself get familiar to your own fingers inside of you. It sure felt different than when Jungkook did it, it wasn’t enough to completely make you feel undone. You pumped another finger inside, giving you something inside at least but it was no better than Jungkook’s touch.

“Ahh, Jungkook,” you moaned softly, flicking your own clit with your fingers which makes the pleasure at least a bit better. You would rather have him with you but it was enough to fill up a small part of his absence. Remembering every time he fucked you harshly was enough to quicken your pace with your fingers, your walls clenching around them and your orgasm closely approaching.

Your other hand groped your breasts, flicking your nipple and massaging them while the other was thrusting in and out of your needy cunt. You were completely in your own euphoria, the world completely fading away from you. Unfortunately for you, that euphoria is only short-lived.

An annoying sound ran throughout your room, the culprit being your cell phone. You groaned with disappointment as you attempted to pry your fingers out of your pussy and your orgasm fading away with every time the ringtone chimed.

With your slick-covered hands, you read the text and your blood started to run cold from the words that were displayed on the screen.

[Jungkook ♡]

- Hi babe, I’m coming home bc I forgot my boxing bag.

- Sorry that this was sudden

- Actually, I’m outside the apartment rn

You’re fucked. Absolutely fucked. But lucky, you still had a minute to spare to make it seem like you weren’t doing anything. You put his boxing glove back in the bag and wobbled downstairs to the front door. The door locks started to jingle and you immediately opened them just for him to take his bag and go. You love him with all of your heart but now’s not the time to chat with him.

“Hey Y/N, do you have my bag?” he asked across from you, looking as good as ever. You forced a smile and shoved his bag in front of your face.

“Yeah, it’s this one right? So, here it is so you can get going now! Goodbye!” you grinned, sweat dripping down your face.

Jungkook looked puzzled on why you were acting that way but decided to go along with it. “O-okay, thanks.”

“Of course! Now, you should get going now! Your boxing rehearsal isn’t going to wait forever, is it?” you chuckled, trying to push him out of the door but he didn’t budge. After taking a quick glance at you (more specifically your legs and the amount of slick dripping down), he decided to stay.

“Woah, woah, there’s something going on. Let me in,” he said stubbornly, pushing against you to get inside the apartment.

“What are you talking about? There’s literally nothing going on! You should go back to the boxing place!” you argued but he wouldn’t listen. Jungkook grabbed your hand and pulled you upstairs into the bedroom and set you down, looking straight into your eyes. You immediately blushed as his eyes held such confusion and hunger inside.

“Don’t lie to me, only bad girls lie. So tell me baby, what exactly is going on?”

Surely he didn’t know right? You still have some time to lie because there’s no way he knows.

“I was taking a nap before you texted me.”

“Without your panties on and a shit ton of slick dripping down your thighs?” he asked with confusion, pulling up your skirt and revealing your soaking pussy, throbbing due to the atmosphere. At this point, you were absolutely stuck in a corner as Jungkook stared at the way you’re completely aroused.

“Ahh, um..” “Are you cheating on me, Y/N?” His eyes were now full of sadness and hurt and you could immediately feel your heart start to break.

“N-no! Of course not! I would never cheat on you, you’re the one who I love! It’s just because..” you tried to get the idea out of his head, holding his hands tightly. Jungkook’s face brightened up a bit before being replaced with suspicion.

“So, what’s up? What were you doing while I left?” There was absolutely no talking yourself out of this because Jungkook would find out either way at this point. But at least it’s better than making up a stupid lie, right? “I..um..remember how you said you wanted to see me touch myself yesterday?” “Of course.” “Well...I was doing that..” you mumbled with embarrassment, avoiding his eye contact. Jungkook’s ears picked up what you said and his face lit up with excitement and desire.

“Say that again for me?” he smirked, loving how soft and shy you were now.

“I..was touching myself while I was thinking of you,” you said a bit loudly but it was still so embarrassing. You had no idea why he was all so happy right now but it made you happy nonetheless.

“Do you think you can show me?” he grinned, staring up into your eyes.

“What?! N-no! It’s private right? You see, it’s private for a reason! Now you got your bag and figured out why I was acting weird so you can go now!” you snapped, heat automatically filling up your body.

“It’s okay, I can skip practice today. This is important, why didn’t you tell me?” “It’s not something I should tell you.” “Anyways, you’ve been a bad girl today. Touching yourself while thinking of me, you’re so naughty. So your punishment is to reenact what you did before I came back and I’m not leaving until I see you touch yourself. But don’t worry, if you need help then I’m always here,” Jungkook purred, his dominant persona on. You gulped down a lump down your throat but you weren’t ready to back down to him yet.

“No I’m not! I’m not giving up my dignity just yet!” “Come on, little girl. I know you were fucking yourself like a little whore while you were gone. Did your tiny little fingers fill you up completely, better than my cock? I know you didn’t because even though you’re a whore, you’re still such a slut for my dick.” His dirty words made you even more turned on than normal with even more slick running down your thighs. You knew it was better to obey, especially since he’s talking like this. With that being said, you scooted yourself with the back of your head hitting the bed frame. After a minute of hesitation, you lifted up your skirt which revealed your whole pussy to him. Jungkook stared intently, noticing every little twitch that it made as it’s longing for something to be inside it and how wet it has become. His lips were curled into a smirk as your fingers started to graze over your folds.

Taking a deep breath, you inserted two of your fingers to aid the throbbing in your core. It felt different than when you did it before, maybe due to Jungkook staring at every little movement you made.

Despite your initial refusal, having him watch over you turned you on even more and the throbbing only continued to get worse after you slowly started to move your fingers. You didn’t know how much it turned you and him on, judging from his erection in his pants.

“Ahh, oh my god,” you moaned, adding an additional finger and groping your boobs with your other hand.

Jungkook’s mouth was in shock, shocked at how you can look so sexy touching yourself even though it was your first time. His dick was begging to be released in his now tight sweatpants but just watching you like this was more than enough.

He’s never admitted it directly to you but surprisingly, he’s such a voyeur and seeing you wrecked with only your fingers or even a toy could make him cum as hard as him actually fucking you.

“J-Jungkook, please…” you mewled, rocking your hips against your small hands in an attempt to hit your g-spot, where only your boyfriend knows.

By now, you’ve inserted your whole hand inside of your core and it still wasn’t as satisfying as Jungkook’s long fingers inside you. You should’ve been embarrassed that his vision was at you masterbating but frankly, you didn’t care anymore.

“Shit baby girl, just like that, fucking ruin yourself,” he grunted, slightly stroking his hardened member through his sweatpants.

“I want your mouth on me,” you cried, slowly starting to feel the same ecstatic feeling of your release. The way his eyes were set on you alone brings you closer to your high as you’re practically grinding on your hand.

Luckily, Jungkook heard your wish and immediately brought his face down to your core, taking your fingers out and licking your clit like there was no tomorrow. His face was completely buried with the goal of eating you out and getting your cum out of you. It wasn’t a thought that ever crossed your mind but you never realized how much better Jungkook made you feel and how the throbbing seemed to go away after he was with you. His face was absolutely covered in your juices and adding to his warm mouth were his long fingers.

“You like that don’t you, you slutty little girl?” he hummed, the vibrations of his mouth making you even more closer to the edge. You gripped onto his arm tightly, your fingernails dragging along his muscles due to how much he was giving you.

You felt his fingers curl against you, hitting your g-spot and bringing you closer to your climax. It felt too good and you were craving to be ruined by him. Jungkook stared at the way you were shoving his hand amongst your tight little cunt, grinding on it as you try to reach your high and the squelching sounds it made.

Within seconds, you were close to your orgasm and you were trying to chase after it feverishly. His tongue and his fingers were too much for you, even though you received them last night. They made you feel so satisfied and full, always filling you up to the edge and the way he was hitting every spot nearly made you cream all over his fingers.

Unfortunately for you, he immediately pulled his fingers and mouth away, completely denying you of releasing. The hot feeling and intensity disappeared instantly and was replaced by the familiar throbbing as you let out a groan of disappointment. This was the second time you’ve lost your orgasm and you just wanted to release on him once more.

“Why did you stop? I was going to-” you growled, your face heating up due to the increased temperature inside.

“You’re not going to cum when I’m away. Is that a rule you can follow?” he said sharply, licking every remain of your juices off his face and wiping the excess with a tissue.

“W-why?” “Instead, I want you to send me a video touching yourself but not cumming until my match. Is that an order my little girl can do?”

You absolutely hated the fact that you won’t be releasing for a while but you didn’t want to get him mad. All you can do is just accept your fate and nod.

“There you go, don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel so good once I win,” he grinned, kissing you passionately. You could immediately taste yourself on his lips and felt his hardened member upon you. There were more things that the two of you would’ve done but he wouldn’t allow that to happen.

“Well then, I’ll be off. You’ll behave, right?” he parted cheerily, grabbing his bag and leaving the apartment like he didn’t just completely ate you out and denied your orgasm for the second time. As you heard the door lock, you’re left with your skirt drenched from your juices and the aching feeling between your legs.

Oh the things that Jungkook does to you. But what would happen if you gave him a little surprise during his boxing match. Surely, you weren’t that submissive and besides, it would be fun to tease him..

“You did great man!” Taehyung cheered, high-fiving Jungkook as soon as his match ended. He shared the same with a bunny-like smile and went inside the locker room to clean up to see you. Not only did he win but he’s going to be staying with you for a while now.

With a bright spirit, he unlocked his locker and opened his phone to a text message from you. There was an attachment with a seemingly innocent message but once he opened the video, it only fueled his desire.

[Y/N ♡]

- I miss you so much

Inside of the video was you fucking yourself with your fingers, high-pitched and incoherent whimpers coming out of you and from the looks of it, it was like you’re about to reach your climax.

Within the last few seconds, it cuts to you creaming all over the bed and licking your juices off of your fingers seductively with a cute wink at the end. All of that just to rile and tease him.

Shit, the things that this girl does to me, Jungkook sighs, feeling his member starting to grow inside of his pants again. They were simple instructions yet you can’t obey properly. Maybe it was due to you being a brat and wanting to be put in your place again.

Well, if there’s one thing that you and Jungkook know, is that you’ll certainly not walk the next day.

a/n: honestly, i’m not too proud of this but i hope you liked it regardless! let me know what you think and have a great day <3

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return-of-a-space-cowboy · 4 years ago

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IFJAJHWJJF OKAY ONAY ONAY HI I JUST SAW YOUR POSTS PLESE WRITE YANDERE ORC STUFF NO ONE DOES FHANKZKA IM SO EXCITED

Hello my fellow orc loving anon, I hope you enjoy the food, Smutty second course will be on it's way (at some stage). Also since you let me choose I had to pick Risotto.

Of monsters and men

(yandere orc Risotto x female reader)

For generations your family had established peace between your village and the clan of monsters that ruled the land. In exchange for part of your village's crops they would spare you all from rampage.

Everything seemed like a nightmare as you saw the same clan betray centuries of trust. Houses were on fire, men were mutilated and women were forced upon. It all made you sick to the stomach to watch as you ran in the scanty outfit you had to wear. Today was meant to be the day where the village and clan would indulge in festivities, yet it was all chaos instead.

Tears threatened to spill as your dreams of following in your family's steps broke like porcelain. You looked to your side as you heard the wails and screams of young children being forced into a cage like vermin by two ogres. You stood by and watched. Part of your mind telling you to keep running but the other half wanted to save the poor children.

You sighed as you ran towards them and grabbed a nearby pitchfork and hit one of them with the hilt, knocking them out for sure before hitting the other.

"You have to get out of here kids!" You ordered them.

'but I can't find my parents" one of the young girls cried. A frown formed on your lips, you felt so bad for them.

"I know, but you can't stay… your parents would want you to be safe" you explained as you kneeled down and scruffed up her silken hair, trying your best not to cry.

"Do it for your family's sake" you continued.

"Will you come with us lady (Y/n)?" Another asked.

"I can't… as a member of the noble family I have to try and figure out a way to fix this" you explained. You had hoped that maybe your father was already talking to the clan leader, coming up with a solution to the issue.

You helped guide all the children to the edge of the village with the pitchfork you had used to knock out the ogres firmly in your hand before something delivered a low sweep. You fell to the ground and watched them all scream and scatter into the dark forest as something pulled you back.

You were yanked up by the arm and forced to confront your captor as their long forked tongue slid up your neck, leaving a trail of saliva and venom that burned your skin like acid.

"You're a rather feisty lady" a seductive tone hissed as a scaly tail that glimmered like obsidian wrapped around your lower body. Stray locks of lavender coloured hair came into view as the male leaned into you.

"You smell so fertile… I expected nothing less of a noble" he chuckled before turning you around so you could finally see him. A tall Naga with an asymmetric bob, bearing his long fangs.

Your blood froze as you realised the gravity of your current situation. Your heart pounded inside of your chest, threatening to explode any minute.

"What… whatever you intend to do with me… please make it quick" you plead though your shaky breath as you squeeze your eyes shut.

The Naga reacted with a cruel laugh as he watched you squirm in his tails tight grip. Almost prideful of the fear he was inducing.

"Oh I don't intend to do anything with you, but I can't say the same about our ruler" he chuckled.

Your eyes lit up a little, you could try to negotiate with him to leave the village and return to prior times. Yet your stomach also twisted in fear, you had no idea who the ruler of the monster clan was. No human dared to speak of him, not even your father.

"Please take me to him, maybe we could come to some agreement!" You please.

The lavender Naga laughed before leaning in towards your face. His long, forked tongue feathering over your cheek.

"The perfume of fear is intoxicating, Lord Nero could smell it from a mile away" his comments made the hairs on your neck stand.

"But if you are so insistent, then I can only let you try" he continued, his words dripping in sweet venom.

"Yes I do want to go!" You almost yelled.

"Oh so eager, I can't refuse to that" he chuckled as his form wrapped around you more before tightening his grip on you till you couldn't breath. His long body slivered over ground with ease as he deprived you of oxygen. You coughed and weezed as your vision impaired. Your neck hung loosely like an old doll as your limbs starved. Shortly darkness fades in and out of your vision as you struggle to stay conscious.

You closed your eyes and when they opened once more you were in your house. It had been trashed beyond belief, like someone had been searching for something.

Finally the Naga let you go and let you drop to the floor. You took a few deep breaths as you got to your hands and knees. You knew something was hovering above you but you couldn't bring yourself to look up at whoever it was.

"Melone, you can leave now" a deep voice ordered. The Nagas named Melone slivered back before leaving you with whoever the voice belonged to.

"(Y/n)" the male said your name, a sweet and soothing tone on the edge of the previously gravely tone.

"How do you know my name?" You finally asked as you looked. Your blood went cold as you finally saw the large pale orc in front of you. You swallowed your saliva as you studied the intimidating monster's features.

Short hair as white as fresh snow, ruby eyes amongst jet black sclera and a single tusk protruding from his lower jaw. He was extremely tall, even for an orc, his chest broad and exposed with a black leather straps decorated with various jewels. To put it simply, he was an orc of a high class and ruling over a clan of various monsters further proved his status as a ruler.

"I saw a few photographs of you over the years. However your father never spoke of you, so I had to find out more about you myself" he explained. You remained quiet towards the creature.

"Quiet are we? I thought you would have tried to say a few words at least after attacking two members of my army" He muttered before kneeling down.

"I came here to make a deal with you, in exchange I want you to stop this attack" you responded.

"Well I doubt your father is going to repay his debts" he said before pulling you up.

"What are you talking about? We had our taxes raised numerous times because of your demands!" You hissed as you pulled your arm out of his grasp.

The orc gave you a stern look before his features softened.

"Well I was told that there was little money amongst the town, I was kind enough to ask him for alternative payments" he explained.

"He's been paying me almost nothing for the past two years" he continued.

You looked at the orc, trying to figure out if he was lying or not but deep in your heart you could tell he wasn't trying to trick you, he had no reason to.

"Perhaps we can end this conflict now and I can repay you the debt" you suggested.

"I'm not going to just let this brush off so easily, I want a payment now!" he responded with slight anger in his tone.

"I'm sure I can talk this out with my father-" you were saying however the albino orc quickly interjected.

"Do you not realise that your father had abandoned this town" he mentioned.

"No he wouldn't, I don't believe it!" you argued.

"Well read these for yourself" he replied as he grabbed several notes from one of the pockets of his striped pants.

"I found these in your father's quarters" he explained as he handed them to you.

You read only one of them before you dropped them all on the floor. I was undoubtedly your father's hand writing, such a scandalous conversation between him and a woman who was obviously taking him for his money. You were in absolute shock, he had left you all to die.

"Surely I can offer some form of payment here, give me a chance" you begged.

"I doubt it, I've looked everywhere and there is nothing" he replied.

“However if you really want to save this town so badly, I think I could reach an agreement.” he mentioned trying to hide the lust in his eyes.

“State your terms” you stated.

“Eager” he responded.

“Well… I will stop this attack and our clan will leave your village in peace but I have one requirement, I want you” he explained before grabbing your hip.

#yandere jjba #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #halloween au #fantasy au #risotto x reader #risotto nero #yandere risotto

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youngbloodlisk · 4 years ago

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[sunwoo cheating angst au part 2]

part 1

- mentions of pregnancy

- mentions of cheating

- sunwoo is an actual asshole in this (totally different from how he seems to be irl lmao)

- protective bf eric

- excuse typos im sorry

- set almost 5 years after part 1 !!

"You didn't say they would be coming." I whisper.

"I'm sorry, I thought you'd assume they'd be here. Sunwoo fucked up badly, but he's still in The Boyz. It was open invitation to the group and managers, you said that was okay."

"I know, and it is okay. Really. I just wasn't... thinking about it, I guess."

"It's a big party. There's a lot of people. You may not even have to see him much, or talk to him at all."

"Yeah. I don't know, Eric..." I glance over to the couple and 4 year old child. "I can't. I can't do this. I'm sorry. Can you keep an eye on Bella? She's over there by the couch coloring." I point him towards the child and he nods.

"Sure, yeah." He rubs my back lightly. "You go upstairs and rest, have some alone time. I'll fill you in later on anything. If anyone asks, I'll just say you aren't feeling well."

"Thank you." A small smile reaches my face, looking at the man who picked me up when I had been pushed down and took care of me and Bella.

"I love you, honey." He kisses my forehead.

"I love you, too."

I try to sneak to the staircase as fast as I can, but people keep stopping me to say hello.

It's Eric's birthday party, my living room full of people who know me, most of whom have even known me since I was with Sunwoo.

Small talk, catching up, the like. All of which I am not in the mood for, as Sunwoo makes his way closer and closer to me.

The moment my hand touches the banister of the stairs, I hear it.

"Hey. It's been a while."

I gulp as I turn around, facing Sunwoo.

"Yeah, it has... How-uh... How have you been?"

"We've been okay. Juno's a good kid, sometimes I think he makes parenting too easy on us."

"That's nice..."

"And you? How have you been? You and Eric got together?"

"Yeah, after I left that day I went to his apartment. I stayed with him for a while and things just fell into place."

"I've noticed your kid on social media." His attempt to be casual and civil turns hostile quickly upon mentioning Bella. "Same age as Juno? So, what happened? You left me and fucked Eric the same day or something? Actually, just tell me the kid's birthday, let me do the math. Were you fucking my best friend while we were together?"

I almost laugh at his sudden burst.

"You don't have a right to talk about cheating, Sunwoo."

"At least I fessed up."

"After you got her pregnant." My voice raises slightly.

"You were apparently pregnant and still didn't think it was important to tell me."

"How was I supposed to tell you about Bella when you had just dropped that on me? You think that would have been easy?"

"Why hadn't you told me sooner? Didn't wanna be the cheater in the relationship? Well look at you now, huh?"

Another voice enters the conversation.

"Sunwoo, don't you dare talk to my girlfriend like that. Especially not after what you did to her. Don't make me ask you to leave."

"I'm just pointing out that we were apparently on the same page the whole time. We just didn't tell each other. How do you feel knowing your girlfriend is a cheater?"

"You would know how that feels. Didn't your wife cheat on Changmin with you? I'd imagine it wouldn't be much better than knowing another man is taking care of your child and surely doing better at it than you ever could-"

Eric looks as though he immediately regrets saying that last sentence. He turns to me with apologetic eyes, as I never wanted Sunwoo to know...

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I hold back tears and look Sunwoo straight in the eyes. He had to find out eventually, right?

"Bella's biologically your daughter, Sunwoo."

Sunwoo's entire demeanor changes in a snap. Just as fast as he got hostile, he softens.

"She's... she's... mine?"

"Sunwoo-" He gets too heated again before I can get him to calm down.

"How could you have not told me about this?! That's my kid, that's my DNA. You didn't think that was important information?"

"Sunwoo, you have to understand-"

"I wanna meet her, I want her to know who her real father is. That's my kid."

Eric steps in again.

"Biologically, yeah. Bella's your DNA. But I have been her father for almost 5 years, not you. I've been the one taking care of these two, the best girls I've ever had in my life. Not you. Give it up, Sunwoo. You chose what you wanted. You made your bed, you lie in it. Now, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

"Leave?" Sunwoo repeats the word as if it's the most preposterous thing he's ever heard.

"Yes, leave. You're causing a scene at my party in my home. I do not want you here. Get out."

"This is... ridiculous, Eric. How would you feel if you were in my shoes?"

"I wouldn't be in your shoes. I'm not a fan of cheating. Your wife and your kid can stay, they've caused no problems, but you? Get the fuck out of my house."

Sunwoo opens his mouth to speak, but closes it and simply pokes his cheek with his tongue in anger.

He turns and looks at Bella, happily coloring in her Pokémon coloring book. She notices Juno watching her and asks him if he wants to color with her. He nods and grabs a green crayon, scribbling away at another page.

I look at Eric and we share a satisfied smile, both clearing thinking "that's my sweet girl".

"This isn't over." Sunwoo interrupts the moment. "That's my kid. Not Eric's. I'm not finished with you three."

"Should I call the police to make you leave, Sunwoo? Go tell your wife that you'll see her at home. I'll drive your family back to your place after the party. Then get the hell out, like I've told you multiple times now. You are no longer welcome in my house. Ever again, in fact."

Sunwoo scoffs and mumbles something under his breath, but he complies.

I can see the confusion in his wife's face as he informs her of the situation.

He sends me a quick wink before he shuts the front door behind him, sending a sick feeling to my stomach and a chill down my spine.

"Eric, what if he-"

"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything. Let's enjoy the party for now, don't worry about it. I have a plan."

#ciiikbwork #sunwoo angst #tbz angst #the boyz angst #the boyz au #sunwoo au #tbz au

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sopeyb23-blog · 4 years ago

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Love Language

*not my Gif

*I do not own any CM characters

Summary: reader thinks about how their relationship with Spencer has evolved through touch!

Warnings: talk of past drug use, crying, angst i guess, but mostly fluff

word count: 2.2 K

A/N: this was pretty fun to write, it is mostly little flashback scenes and I love doing those. I did this after seeing @veraiconcos‘s writers challenge and thought that was super cool, all of her things are amazing so definitely check out her blog!

enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer Reid's love language was never touch. I suppose the burden of all his knowledge is knowing exactly the amount of germs passed by a single touch, and which of those germs are alive, and which could get him sick, and which sickness could take root, and, well you get the point. When I first started at the BAU Spencer still seemed to me like a shy little kid. We were the same age, I like to tell him at least once a day, I'm actually a full month older than him. I think that's one of the many reasons that him and I became friends so fast. My first friend was of course, JJ. After all she is very close in age to me and Spencer, and is one of the first contacts I had with the BAU. She told me before I had met any of the team, that Spencer was, well, different. She made sure to warn me that he doesn't mean anything by his little actions of avoidness. It's just his way of keeping himself safe. This I understood.

The first time I was formally introduced to the team was much before I joined. The interview process is understandably long, they need to know a person before just throwing them in. After all, these people spend more time together working cases then they do in their own homes. -

“Hi, i’m Y/N , the new agent here” I shook the hands of everyone on the team but Spencers, remembering what JJ had told me. To him I smiled and gave a little wave.

“The number of pathogens that can be passed from a-” Spencer after seeing me wave to him began to do just what I suspected. When confronted with an uncomfortable situation, he began to hide behind his wall of facts.

“It's actually much safer to kiss” I continued for him and the look on his face was priceless.

“Yeah, yes, exactly.” A rose colored blush crept up onto his cheeks as he smiled at me.

“Oh great, now there's two of them” Morgan laughed at us before JJ pulled them away for another case.

The first time I saw someone actually touch Reid was when they returned home from the Tobias Hankle case. It hurt me to see Spencer (now my friend of almost four months) so absolutely traumatized. He would never say this to me or anyone else for that matter, but even at the time he came home, he was still feeling the effects of the drugs he was given.-

“Here they come, here they come” Anderson walked over to me as the team approached the glass doors of the BAU. I was surprised to see that Spencer was with them. I had assumed they would have taken him straight home, or maybe to the hospital.

“Welcome back, I'm glad you're alive, Reid,” he barely opened his eyes and nodded at me before sitting down in his desk chair. I waved JJ over to me.

“How bad?” she sighed and gave me the classic worried mom look we always tease her for.

“Very. I didn't think I would ever see him like this”

“Im so sorry JJ. do you think he’ll be okay?”

“Honestly, I don't know, but i'm going to drive him home, maybe if i'm lucky I can convince him to let me take him to the hospital. I'll call you, okay?”

It worried me even more to know that JJ too, was aware of how badly he was hurt. She turned her back to me and grabbed her coat from her office before going to Spencer's desk. From where I was standing I could just barely make out what she was saying.

“Spence, come on, let's get you out of here”

“JJ I have paperwork to do” he sounded dazed, like he wasn't really sure where he was.

“Its okay Spence, I’m sure Morgan wouldn't mind a few extra”

She gingerly took the files from his hand and helped him sling his satchel over his shoulder. Then, it happened. As they walked out of the room he stumbled. Just a little. Barely enough for anyone else to notice, but I was watching the two of them so carefully as they left I couldn't help but take an involuntary step towards them. JJ took a firm hold of his arm, and put her other free hand on his back. I could see him flinch for just a second, and then, his body relaxed into her and he let her guide him from the room.

After that night I became a full member of the team. Spencer didn't take any time off. He never went to the hospital, although Penn, JJ, and I tried countless times to get him to. After that night when he let JJ help him, when he let her touch him, he never seemed to be overly bothered by a handshake every once and awhile. The first time I touched him was still a while after that, I think my 15th case in the field. -

“Spencer it wasn't your fault.” He looked at me through his black rimmed glasses with a sad and blank expression.

“Then why would he address it to me?” this whole case I knew something was wrong. After Gideon had not shown the first time, JJ told me that he had resigned, but at that point Spence still hadn't told anyone about the letter.

“Because he knew that you needed to hear the news from him. Not from JJ, or me, or Hotch, or anyone else. There's nothing you could have done to convince him to stay Spence, he's even more stubborn than you are”

I paused to observe him in the dark silence of the jet. I brought my hand to his arm tentatively but when he relaxed and seemed comfortable with the touch, I gave it a little squeeze and smiled at him. -

Now, after Gideon had left I knew it. I had a crush on Spencer Reid. This came as no surprise at all to JJ or Penelope, but to me, it was quite the shock. He had now become comfortable with the little touches of assurance that I gave him often. More comfortable even than with JJ or Morgan. Sometimes I noticed he would even reciprocate the gesture. When he noticed I was tired or stressed or just having a bad day, he would put a hand on the crook of my elbow and give it a little squeeze. Just like I did that night on the jet. To other people this seems like nothing. But to me, and to him as well, this was everything.

When Spencer stayed in Vegas to investigate his father, JJ left. JJ as Spence and I’s best friend, is always a source of comfort and a safe haven in the stormy darkness that is our lives. When she left she pulled me aside away from Spencer and put a hand on her swollen belly. -

“ Y/N , I need to take care of Spence for me, okay?” I chuckled.

“JJ, of course, what do you think I’m here to do?” she looked at me with a deadpan stare.

“That's not what I mean. You know what was happening with him after Tobias right?” I nodded, the memories of his mood flashes, and anger, and sadness all coming to the forefront of my mind.

“he‘s going to need you to make sure that he doesn’t do anything stupid. Not Morgan, not Rossi, not Hotch, you. You are the only person on this team- in this world-. That he trusts right now. And you are the only person that could talk him off of that ledge.”

“I promise, JJ. I’ll keep him safe” She nodded at me but the worried expression on her face remained. -

JJ was worried for good reason as it turned out. I kept a close eye on Spencer as we looked into his past. The boys were all there to focus on the case. To solve what was in front of them. I was there more to focus on Spencer. There was one night. The night after we found his father, something in my brain just told me it was not going to be a good night for him. There was something in the coloring of his face, the way his posture was collapsed and the circles around his eyes were so dark, it told me all that I needed to know. -

I walked out into the hallway of our hotel and stopped in front of Spencer's door. The others were all asleep, and it was nearing one in the morning. But something told me that he needed my help right now. JJ’s voice in the back of my head reminded me that I needed to help him, I was the only one who could help him. I knocked three times on his door softly. I waited a minute before knocking again, with a little more force, and I heard some shuffling in the room before the door opened.

“ Y/N? What are you doing?” I walked inside the room without an invitation and sat down on the foot of his bed. The sheets were undisturbed and he was still in his work clothes though the tie was draped over a chair in the corner and his shoes were by the door.

“Talk to me” I looked up from my hands and continued.

“I don't mean, about the case, or your dad. I mean about you. I need you to convince me that you are okay”

“Who says I'm not?” I rolled my eyes at him and gestured to the chair across from me.

“I do. And as one of your best friends, your closest colleague, and someone who likes you, a lot. I think that should mean something to you” the last part slipped out a little fast and completely without me thinking of the repercussions.

“You like me?” he gave a faint smile that I could only partially see in the dimly lit hotel room.

“Yes, but that's not the point right now, we’re talking about you not me '' I brushed off his comment but I couldn't help the smile and blush that came across on my face.

“Im struggling” his voice broke a little when he said it and it broke my heart to see him in such pain.

I walked over to the chair he was sitting in and pulled him up by the hand.

“I'm going to hug you now. Is that okay?”

His partial nod was good enough for me. -

I got him through that night. I talked him off the ledge that JJ had warned me of. And she was right. I was the only one who could have done that. When we came back from Las Vegas, although neither of us had said a word, something changed between us. We were more than just friends now, we both knew that, but beyond that, we weren't really sure what we were. He would call me when he needed someone to talk him down, I would call him when I needed someone to talk me down. I would show up at his apartment any hour of the day to help him, and I knew that he would do the same. One of those nights when it just so happened that the both of us needed a little talking down after a hard case, I drove myself over to his apartment to find him on the couch crying.

To see him crying was something that my tired, and broken heart couldn't take. I threw myself next to him on the couch and pulled him into a hug, no questions asked.

“I needed that.” I said as soon as I lifted my head from his shoulder.

“Me too” we were both still crying, but there was something about the atmosphere that had changed. We weren’t alone anymore. We spent hours like that, sitting there, my head on his shoulder, his arm around my back, not saying a word, just collecting ourselves as best we could. At some point in the night I looked over at the clock: 2:45 am

He looked to the clock as well and then over to me, and with a single tear streaming down his face he looked at me and said,

“If I asked you to stay, would you?” I wiped the tear from his cheek.

“You don't even need to ask” he brought both of his hands to my cheek and pulled me into what I think is the most passionate kiss I have ever received.

That night told us both what we had become. It was no longer little arm touches or calls in the middle of the night. It was waking up to him beside me, seeing his hair ruffled from sleep and his eyes clouded by exhaustion. It was the little worried kisses he gave me in the field and the little squeal of happiness that Penelope made when I told her we were moving in together.

When I first met Spencer I wondered to myself if he would ever be comfortable with touch. But now as his sleeping body lays next to me and instinctually pulls me in closer, I know that there was never any reason to worry. Because even before, when the most contact I would get was arm touches in the midst of a panic, it was enough. It helped me learn that although not everyone wants or shows grand gestures. There are other ways, sometimes even better ways to say, I love you.

#vicficwriterchallenge #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #reader #reader insert #spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #penelope #penelope garcia #jj #Jennifer Jareau #derek morgan #promt #challenge

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oyubaat-tapcaf · 4 years ago

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Another Job Is Done //Mandalorian x Reader

Here is my first ever Mandalorian Fic, written for @propertyofdindjarin

(small remark, I used ur name so this is kind of Mando x reader but also not)

I am a huge star wars nerd so im happy you preferred a mando fic

Have fun reading!

summary: Din had a bad experience while hunting down a quarry, leaving him with his feelings clear.

wordcount: 2985

warnings: canon typical violence, kind of a near death experience, a little bit of angst but lots of fluff

The ramp of the Razor Crest made a loud hissing noise when the hydraulics started to work on opening it. As the end of it reached the floor, the Mandalorian entered his ship. He seemed exhausted. He did not strut, as usual, his body language showed, this fight hadn’t been easy. He seemed like he even got hurt, more than usual.

Mando grunted when he pulled the unconscious quarry up into his ship. He was in pain. This womprat he’d been hunting down was hard to catch and also a very good fighter. Well, not good enough. Din closed the ramp and hurled the quarry up into his carbonite chamber then he pressed the button to freeze him. Another job is done. Finally.

He groaned quietly under his beskar helmet and let himself fall back against the wall. He wasn’t hurt badly but he was sore. He had been awake and going for a few days now, he needed food, water, and sleep. And maybe someone to hold onto. He was gone for a couple of long days and he was on edge. He liked being alone, but since he had the kid he realized how nice a little bit of company can be. He changed since he got the child that’s why this job was a little different. The job was a well-paying one. That was because the quarry was on a planet that was hard to get to. It was behind a big dangerous nebula. There were only a few people who were able to get to the other end alive and he was lucky that one of those people was willing to help him. His piloting was good but not good enough for the turbulence he might face in the nebula. Well for 50 percent of the bounty. That was a good deal. Even half of the money was enough for Din to buy food for him and his little friend, also to buy new fuel and new bullets for his pulse rifle since he was out of them.

The Mandalorian was too proud to admit it, he liked the pilot that was with him. She was a nice and beautiful young lady. She knew what she wanted and she got what she wanted. He remembers discussing the deal with her. She knew how to make a good deal, and she wasn’t intimidated by Din's appearance. Usually, people were acting different around him, some even being afraid of him. They heard the stories of Mandalore and its population. They heard of the strong beskar armor and Mandalorian combat skills. So Din usually gets what he wants. But that pilot...she wasn’t having it.

“Look, I know you are an amazing hunter, but I’m just as good of a pilot, so that means we will split the bounty in half, no discussion needed,” she said while sipping away on her spotchka. Her eyes were challenging him, daring him to disagree with her.

“You will fly on my ship. And I will hunt down the quarry,” Din leaned forward looking straight into her eyes. “I don’t think 50/50 will work for me.”

She scoffed and shook her head. “My way or no way, Mando. You don’t know frag about that nebula. If you want to fly through it alone, do it. But lemme tell you even your beautiful beskar can’t save you. “

Din was a little angry at first but she then smiled at him, kind of mocking him but he was so lost in her beautiful face that he just sighed and jerked back as he caught himself staring. This helmet on his head was making his life easier.

The Mandalorian nodded and they shook hands. She wanted to invite him for a drink but he declined, as he always did.

Din sighed, back to his current situation. He and Rae had traveled a long time together, they got in some trouble with a few pirates and they had to shoot themselves out of it. They crashed on Teth and had to repair the Crest together, spending some nights sitting together and listening to the sounds coming from the jungle that was near, sharing some stories from their past. The child was always with them and the pilot got along with Din’s little friend.

Even if this whole mission was kind of more than the Mandalorian signed up for, he enjoyed the company of the young pilot. When they finally arrived at the nebula Din realized why she wanted 50 percent of the money. She knew what she was doing, maneuvering the crest through the turbulences and clouds of gas. Maker, Din was lost, he had so many strong feelings about her and they all came crashing down on him while he was hunting down the quarry. He had tried to suppress his feelings for her. He didn’t even know what was going on. Stars, he never fell in love before, he was a loner. The youngling made him discover his soft side. At least under all that armor.

The quarry wasn’t easy to catch and Din nearly got into some bad trouble. His opponent nearly gained the upper hand at some point, leaving Din with an experience he can save into his album of “situations to avoid”. He had lost all his weapons except for his flame thrower and before he could even think of a way to get himself out of this situation, a strong cord had wrapped around his body leaving him unable to move his hands. He heard laugher, now knowing if it just was ringing in his ears from being hit so hard before, or if someone was laughing at him. The Mandalorian heard a vibroblade buzzing to life, he had opened his eyes to see his opponent, a nautolan, grinning, standing right in front of him.

“I’ve always wanted to kill a Mandalorian before.”

He stepped forward. Din tried to move but he realized, somehow the nautolan had wrapped up his whole body with cord, he couldn’t move his legs either, leaving him sitting on the floor and watching the nautolan stepping yet another step closer to him.

“I can even keep that amazing beskar to myself,” he murmured. He reached out with his hand, the blade touched the Mandalorians helmet with a metallic noise, ringing in Din’s ears. He was tense, still needed to collect himself, trying to seek his way out. He was a Mandalorian, he was raised his whole life with the knowledge that he will eventually die. It was nothing new to him, his whole life was living from day to day, not knowing how many of them are left for him. But right now he couldn’t accept that. There was this mission bigger than him and bigger than this quarry. The child. He needed the Mandalorians' help. He was his foundling, Din needed to come back to him. But there was even more. He had suddenly felt so lonely, kneeling on the floor, a vibroblade whirring right beside his head. The Beskar clad man was in love and nobody knew about it. He never had someone to kiss, to love. The pilot didn’t even know that Din was thinking about her, every damn minute, every day he woke up, hoping he would have the courage to tell her about his feelings for her. And he never did.

The Mandalorian had snarled, this was not the end, he was not going to die like this. The adrenaline had shot up, into his system and Din had pushed his feet against the ground, falling forward with such force that he fell into his opponent. The nautolan had lost his balance and fell forward, the blade slipping out of his hand. Din caught it and cut himself loose, then he whirled around, jumped to his feet. He had kicked the green man right into his face with his boot, the nautolan had lost his consciousness immediately.

That’s how he got the quarry back to his ship. Din was still trembling a little, after this experience, he was so happy to be back inside the Crest, back with his foundling and back with her. He groaned again and slipped down the wall, hitting the floor. His legs sprawled out, away from him he sat on the ground as a youngling would.

“Ni'm haryc”, he murmured to himself immediately feeling the exhaustion in his tired bones.

***

You sat in the cockpit of the Crest, fiddling with your gloves and watching the child who was soundly asleep. You were nervous about the Mandalorian's return. He was acting differently around you since a few days ago and you were afraid that he was annoyed by you. His body language was always showing that he was nervous as if your company was something he was not used to and doesn't want to get used to.

You sighed quietly and laid your beat-up gloves down. You really hoped that Mando was safe out there. You liked him more than you wanted to admit and him getting hurt on his daily adventures had you restless at night. Especially the last two days were hard. He was hunting down the quarry and you just had to wait for him. But hunting the quarry also meant flying back home and parting ways. You didn't want that to happen. You knew it was going to happen nevertheless but you felt the urge to kick something when you thought about leaving the Razor Crest and its amazing team.

The Youngling was so cute and surprisingly good at keeping you company. You realized that you could even learn from him, in a way.

And Mando, let's say it, you were into him. He was kind and polite, always trying to make your stay on the Crest comfortable. But you also liked his darker side that shot pirates and threw them off of his ship while it was in the air. He protected his family like he would protect his eyeball.

You were ripped from your thoughts as you heard the hydraulic ramp slid down. Probably Mando, he was the only one besides you who had access to the Crests controls. Hopefully, it was him. You waited a few seconds. You heard steps and something hitting the wall. Then you heard the Carbonite chamber go off. Yep, it was Mando. He was back.

"Kriff, finally," you whispered and got up from the pilot seat. The child was still asleep so you left him in his little pod.

You slowly made your way down the ladder down to the cargo hold, as you reached the floor you saw the Mandalorian sitting on the floor, legs sprawled out like a child would seeming weak, exhausted, hurt. You were shocked at how weak he looked, you never saw him that way before. You looked at his muddy boots and his dirty armor, his cape was ripped apart and soaked in mud too.

Mando looked like an injured Crayt Dragon, majestic but hurt, weak. Full of rage and fire but not able to use it anymore. He was panting his helmet leaned back against the wall, hands left weak beside his legs, his gloves also muddy. You started to panic. Is he okay?

“Are you okay, Mando?” you asked and made a step forward. Careful.

He turned his head a little so his visor was facing you.

“...No.” he pressed out. Even under that mud, his beskar was gleaming in the dim light of the Crests cargo hold. You were always kind of hypnotised by the way his armor reflected the lights. You knew that he knew it, he had caught you staring various times. But he had never mentioned it or called you out on it. It even seemed like he enjoyed it. You remember one time, as you were repairing his ship he caught you staring as he was welding some parts together and you were mesmerized at how beautiful the lightning bow was reflected by his beskar plates. He had turned around, looking at you stopping everything he was doing.

You stared back right into his visor not being able to look away. He had tilted his head a little bit, so slowly as if he was grinning at you. You could only imagine but you knew he had a smug smirk going on under that damn helmet. You could just smirk back at him shrugging.

He had chuckled, so softy, his shoulders shaking, just a little. Then he had turned back around and started welding again.

“Kriff, Mando, what’s wrong, do you need help?” now really panicking as you got pulled back into reality.

“No,” he answered, again.

Now you were just confused. What was wrong with him. He was acting weird and you didn’t know what to do.

“What are you talking about…? I-”

“Shhh.” he shushed you. “Don’t panic. I’m not hurt.”

You relaxed a little, you weren’t very good at playing doctor and you knew that if Mando would get hurt bad, you wouldn’t be able to help him properly. Your shoulders dropped in relief.

“Maker, you were really scaring me. Don’t do that again Mando.”

The Mandalorian chuckled. Him chuckling was very rare so you knew something was up. The last time you heard him chuckle was when he caught you staring.

“I am okay. I’m sorry for scaring you. I am kriffing sore.” he huffed, looking at his dirty boots and at the trail of mud he left on the floor. “I...I had a hard time. I- ...yeah.” he was stuttering.

You looked at him questioningly. He still acted strangely.

You closed the small gap between the two of you and sat down in front of him with your legs crossed. His visor followed your movements.

“You don’t seem okay to me, Mando.” you whispered looking at him,

You saw his shoulders rising, just a few millimeters, but far enough for you to know that you hit a nerve.

“I…” he paused again, slowly taking off his dirty gloves revealing his skin. You never saw him take anything off, this was the first time him showing you his skin. Oh boy, somethings coming.

He laid his gloves down between his legs, looking at them for a little too long as if he was still thinking, forming sentences in his head.

“Look, I had a hard time today. I nearly got into some...bad trouble and- “ he stopped and cleared his throat.

Your heart rate picked up on speed as he raised his head to look at you again. Your hands trembled a little but you realized he was too. He was nervous.

“I just realized that if I died, I would die alone. Like, I mean I know the child would miss me but...I never had someone...special.” his helmet tiled down at his trembling hands again.

“Someone special?” your mouth was dry like kriffing Tattooine. Your heart was beating, you could even hear it, stars, Mando could probably hear it too.

“Yeah. I never thought about that stuff. I always liked being alone. But since….” he stopped again taking a deep breath. His voice was rough as he continued.

“...since I met...you, I realized how lonely I am.”

You didn’t know what to answer to that. You knew what he was trying to tell you but didn’t dare to help him out and say what you wanted to say. You were too nervous. You both sat in awkward silence for a few seconds which seemed endless.

“Look, I….you...you are special to me.” he gulped and looked up again. His voice was muffled, his vocoder having a hard time picking it up. But you heard him still.

“Mando...stars.” you felt your cheeks heat up. Hearing these words out of his mouth felt so strange. The Mandalorian, who was always short on words, telling you he had a crush on you. You didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I’m sorry.” he sighed and his gaze dropped again. “I shouldn’t have said that.” his shoulders dropped and he suddenly looked so small.

“No, no wait, Mando. I...you can’t imagine how...how. Oh well.” you never were good at feelings. “I am feeling the same...about you. It feels like you are my missing piece.”

As he looked up at you this time you could tell he gained his confidence back.

“You know,” he started. “ You know, you were on my mind all the time as I was hunting down this womp rat.” he gestured to the frozen nautolan. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

You felt your cheeks heat up even more. You must look like an idiot as you were smiling at him. All those times you were thinking about him you didn’t know he was thinking about you too.

He suddenly held out his hand. His bare hand. No dirty Mando-Gloves with holes that had been stitched up poorly. His bare skin.

“Please take my hand, cyare.” he murmured.

You were surprised by his nickname for you, probably mando’a. You slowly reached out and gently took his hand. His skin was warm and soft just like you imagined it. As your fingers intertwined with yours he slowly and gently pulled you closer to him. You followed his movements until you were sitting awkwardly between his sprawled-out legs, very very close to him. He smelled like gunpowder.

He cradled both of your cold hands in his warm ones, his hands were so big next to yours.

“My name is Din.” he breathed and even if his eyes were covered you knew he was looking deep into yours. You were surprised that he had told you his name, since it’s sacred, and hidden, like his face.

“That’s a beautiful name.” You smiled.

He chuckled and cradled your face with one hand while pulling your other hand down to his cold breastplate.

“Thank you, senaar.”

#pedros12daysofchristmas #din djarin #the mandalorian #pedro pascal #mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #star wars

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not-majestic-bluenicorn · 4 years ago

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The MONSTA X Time-Travel Theory (Originally the MONSTA X Universe Theory)

Hello everyone, and welcome to my new and improved MONSTA X Theory. You read the title right, this was originally called the MONSTA X Universe Theory, but unfortunately it can no longer have that name. I’ll explain why shortly. I posted this theory in February of last year, and since then, a lot of things have changed. My theory really only addressed until before Take 1, so it’s been 4 comebacks and one world tour since then, can you believe it? So yes, quite a few things have changed, and we’ll go over them.

What has changed?

Originally, the theory proposed that everything started in the Tresspass-The Clan timeline, that it was the original timeline and that everything went down from there. However, since Follow: Find You, this is no longer possible, as the Find You MV shows us the origin of Hyungwon’s abilties. Thus, the Tresspass-The Clan theory is now a stand alone. Technically I already wrote a theory on The Clan, although I didn’t address its connection to Tresspass, maybe I’ll do that in a separate “add-on” sort of post. Because of this, it can no longer be called a “Universe Theory”, as MONSTA X is not integrating all of their stories into one very convoluted timeline, but instead they have two separate stories (if later on they connect everything, I’m throwing the towel). That’s the main change, but this change provokes a bit of a butterfly effect, so let’s see how much the theory has changed.

The Story

Phase 1: The First Timeline - The Origin (We Are Here World Tour VCR, Take 1 & Take 2)

I know this is a weird place to start the theory, almost near the end, but it actually makes a lot of sense. These three videos serve a very similar purpose to what Beautiful did for The Clan, they explain the origin of their friendship. Now, things aren’t as dramatic as they’re shown in these three videos (at least I hope so, ‘cause things are gonna get very weird from a plot point of view if they are). The main point of narration is the We Are Here World Tour VCR, from now on abbreviated as WAR because it’s easy to remember like that, and because it fits the theme of the video (watch it here).

WAR introduces us to seven fine young men who have each committed a sin (two of which aren’t even actual sins, but I understand why they would change those two). Hyungwon and Pride, I.M and Envy, Kihyun and Loneliness, Jooheon and Greed, Wonho and Sloth, Shownu and Wrath, and Minhyuk and Agony. These sins are not actual crimes from a futuristic dystopia (although that would be a cool concept), these are just the personal struggles they are dealing with, the personal backgrounds that consume them.

Hyungwon is a rich kid that believes himself better than everyone. I.M is the local witch (?) who hates the rich kid. Kihyun is probably the only child that was forced by his parents to be perfect. Jooheon and Shownu are a very misguided pair of trouble-makers who’re friends with Wonho, who practices Taekwondo but can’t reach the standard he wants. Minhyuk lost someone important to him.

In the Special Film and the Previous Film called ‘ARE YOU THERE?’ they explain these personal struggles, how their situations make them fall into those sins, and how they’re looking for someone to save them. This salvation comes in the form of each other. In WAR they further explain their own sins and how being with each other saved them from drowning in them. Alligator represents the sins and them drowning in the swamp of their own despair. Shoot Out is them breaking away from their past and destroying these sins.

Phase 2: The First Timeline - The Trigger (Find You MV)

Originally I proposed that Hyungwon got his powers by entering that weird heart at the end of All In and Fighter. I’ve now been proved wrong. After they each overcome their past and become friends, Hyungwon’s family has an accident in which both of his parents die and he comes out badly wounded. After he recovers, he’s now living by himself and taking different medications to deal with the aftermath of the accident. The boys decide they cannot leave their friend like that and temporarily stay at his house.

While they’re sleeping, Hyungwon wakes up and visits his father’s study. He finds the damaged watch which sends him to an entirely different timeline. This is showcased by him suspended in the water, with images of Dramarama and Destroyer flashing by. There is a scientific theory that proposes that spacetime is actually a superfluid; I won’t go deep on this because I don’t fully understand it, but showing Hyungwon trapped in water is a good analogy to him being trapped in a different spacetime. This is also briefly shown in The Connect World Tour VCR, (from now on addressed as CWT), but we’ll talk about this one in more detail later.

Wonho wakes up first and notices Hyungwon isn’t there, so he wakes up the others and they try to retrace his steps. Unfortunately, Hyungwon is not part of that timeline anymore, he’s gone for good. This leads us into our second timeline.

Phase 3: The Second Timeline (The Code & The Connect World Tour VCR)

After Hyungwon jumps into spacetime, he becomes lost. Personally, I think there is a possibility that there were other timelines he visited first until he eventually learned to craft the watches himself, as we see in CWT (watch it here). Maybe he just watched this timeline fail a lot of times before he learned and decided to intervene. Either way, Hyungwon actively tries to reunite all of them by giving them the watches. He succeeds for a moment, but in this timeline there exists an agency that controls Time Travel, who frustrate his plans every single time.

It is important to know that in this timeline, the boys don’t all know each other and some of them don’t even exist in the same era. They don’t remember Hyungwon either. Personally I think not remembering Hyungwon might be because he removed his existence entirely by disappearing from his original timeline. There cannot be two of him, as that would cause problems, so instead he just completely seizes existing in all possible universes as he moves through them.

The rest of the boys still exist within the normal spacetime frame though, but they’re lost and ignorant to their true origin. They have forgotten each other and can’t remember yet. However, no matter how hard they try, this timeline is completely doomed because the agency is actively trying to frustrate Hyungwon’s efforts, even if they don’t have something against him specifically. So Hyungwon jumps into the water again, he must continue searching.

Phase 4: The Third Timeline (The Connect: Music Film D & The Connect World Tour VCR)

Destroyer is yet another timeline distinct to Dramarama. We know this because we see different pairings, completely different settings and completely different timelines. The Music Film D is divided in three stages: Part 1 The Code (a very obvious reference, this is already letting us know they’re connected), Part 2 Finding the road, and Part 3 Connected (clear reference to the current album).

D shows us the boys as geniuses, Minhyuk and Shownu are artists, Kihyun and Wonho are science (physics?) prodigies, and Jooheon and IM dominate technology. CWT gives us a bit more insight and shows us something very important: they have begun to remember each other and they have memories from their previous timeline. They want to find the person they were paired with in their first timeline, but more than that, they also have memories of Hyungwon’s intervention, even if they don’t remember him properly (because let’s remember Hyungwon removed himself entirely).

They know they have to find someone, and so they set out to do it. Through their own methods they all come to the revelation on how to find Hyungwon. Kihyun and Wonho do the math, Jooheon and Changkyun use technology, and I guess Minhyuk and Shownu have a vision which they paint? Not sure on that one to be honest, but they find the train station.

This could either be a real place in which every timeline and universe converge or just a metaphor for them figuring out how to do the same thing Hyungwon does, either explanation works.

Hyungwon is trapped in this train, which is another analogy, but this time for the (liminal) space between dimensions. He’s tired himself out trying to reunite the others, and this time they must come for him, and they do. They find each other, they remember, and they reunite once again. This time nothing can pull them apart.

Phase 5: Interlude (The Connect: Jealousy & The Connect World Tour VCR)

Jealousy doesn’t feed the plot itself but helps connect (pun not intended) and put everything else into place. Through different imagery, Jealousy illustrates how the different timelines push them together and then pull them apart, creating different pairings, but that despite this they still share things in common (the paper with numbers, the recorder, the glass of water). Another thing this video does is allude to Jooheon’s death in Dramarama through the use of os symbolism. In one scene, a paper with his symbol is being burned, while in yet another, the chair he’s seen sitting on throughout the video is being burned as well and then falls down to the abyss.

On the other hand, CWT creates a clear and obvious connection between Dramarama and D, revealing to us that they do have memories from other timelines. Another cool thing is that we get to see Hyungwon on the rooftop where they filmed Hero, released back in 2015. It also provides a clearer scene of Hyungwon crafting the watches himself and of him at the top of the Hero building. We can also see the last scene from Jealousy mirrored in the last few seconds of the VCR, which is something worth pointing out.

But, as the VCR says “when everything goes back to the beginning, someday, we will be connected again”. Where did things begin? That’s right, in Find You, so the next step is Follow.

Phase 6: The Third Timeline - Back to the Beginning (Follow)

If Monbebe has a war anthem, it is most definitely Follow, which is an amazing song. Unfortunately, Starship has decided to stop providing explicit story development on their MVs since Jealousy, so Follow doesn’t do much for the story itself. However, I have three important reasons to believe this is where the circle ends: all of the references to time, the quote from CWT,and the very last scene of the MV. Let’s go in order.

The most obvious reference is them standing on clocks painted on the floor, but that’s not the only one. We get to appreciate a few watches here and there, reminiscent of Hyungwon’s in D and Dramarama, and also see the movement of their shadows as a passage of time. The most important reference though, is the cover of the album. The title, “Follow” is solid and then becomes “liquid” as it moves down. This makes sense when you consider the other two points.

First of all, “when everything goes back to the beginning, someday, we will be connected again”. The beginning of the whole mess is Find You, part of the Follow album, there is no doubt about it, so why is Follow the end? Well, because of the last scene in the MV. I know it’s Shownu standing at the top of the stairs in front of the circle, and while it would be better if it was Hyungwon for the sake of this theory, we’ll just completely ignore that. That circle they’re walking towards is the train. ‘Follow’ in the cover becomes fluid because once they cross that circle or enter that train, they too remove themselves from existence like Hyungwon.

That’s not the only thing though. In D, Wonho solves the formula for time travel as X=4155102M, he does it again in Alligator and I believe it’s also briefly shown in WAR. Kihyun also travels back to 2015 in Dramarama to save Jooheon, and Hyungwon is standing on Hero’s rooftop, which was released back in 2015. Their debut date is their beginning, and they keep referencing it over and over because they’re trying to go back to the beginning in order to solve everything.

They went from Find You to Dramarama, to Destroyer and now they’re back at the beginning with Follow; they are connected again. They have different faces and personalities because they’re not the same people from the original timeline, but they managed to find each other and transcend spacetime to be together. So now, what happens next?

Phase 7: Moving Forward (FANTASIA X)

Here is where things get a little complicated, both in the story and in real life. With Wonho’s departure from the group (go support his solo debut), we now have an even number, which wouldn’t seem like a big deal if it wasn’t for the FANTASIA X Trailers. In each trailer we see that each one of the members now possesses a device which allows them to control time in one way or another.

Hyungwon and Shownu have keys, which when used to open anything will allow them to do spacetime travel (I would say only time but, well, I have no way to confirm this right now). Jooheon and I.M have this lighter-watches that when turned on, they allow them to stop time. Kihyun and Minhyuk have another very different set of keys that look like those in old toys or music boxes, which allow them to ‘rewind’ time when used.

Now, them getting powers is expected, since they also removed themselves from the “normal” existence and joined Hyungwon. I assume it is because of the even number that they gave Shownu the same powers as Hyungwon, but it makes it a little weird because Hyungwon has been special all this time. It also doesn’t make much sense that now Hyungwon is using a very different instrument. I want to believe that Wonho is supposed to be in Hyungwon’s place in the teaser, but it’s impossible to tell now.

Even ignoring all of that though, FANTASIA X overall just doesn’t make much sense with the theory. Sure, it’s still time related, which is like the biggest giveaway, but the boys still look lost and like they’re looking for something despite the fact that they already found each other. Maybe the Teasers could be their personal research into spacetime travel and their attempts to find Hyungwon, but I highly doubt so. I think it’ll make more sense after the next comeback or tour, since so far everything seems to come in threes (Dramarama, Destroyer and CWT, Shoot Out and Alligator and WAR, Follow:Find You, FANTASIA X and?).

Conclusions

Despite the fact that we can no longer call it a Universe Theory because it hasn’t been there since the start, I still think it is a story about them, about their struggles and how they’ve grown up. They’re each other’s friends and family, the value of X is their debut date because that is when they came into existence, they are each other’s dreams because they wanted to become artists and they did so by coming together into one group.

A lot of things have happened, but their friendship hasn’t changed. They got each other out of the swamp and helped each other overcome their difficulties in the hardest times. It is uncertain as to where the story will lead us next, in a way, I think this might be the start of a brand new story for MONSTA X. A direct consequence of the story they have carried out since The Code? Maybe, but probably very different and not exactly in the same storyline. It’s hard to know, but I’m excited about what they have in store for us nonetheless.

I hope you liked this theory, and be assured that I’ll add onto it as more things come out and new mysteries are to be solved. If you have any questions you can hit me up on my asks, Twitter (@soft_bluenicorn) or my CuriousCat (@soft_bluenicorn)! I’ll be glad to answer them ^^

#monsta x #monsta x theory #monsta x shownu #monsta x wonho #monsta x kihyun #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x minhyuk #monsta x jooheon #monsta x changkyun #shownu #wonho #kihyun #hyungwon #minhyuk #jooheon #changkyun #bluenicorn does theories

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themadauthorshatter · 4 years ago

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WELCOME BACK ONE AND ALL!

Welcome back to MY take on Toppat!Charles, the series that gives you... angst and cliffhangers in every chapter, just like Game of Thrones😅.

In case you haven't read them yet here are links to the first three parts, which I recommend you read because the brief recaps don't do them justice.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

BRIEF RECAP AND HEADCANON TO FOLLOW FOR THE POST TIME!

After his attack on Burt, Charles has caved and is now open to what Right has to say and vice versa. Henry and Gerneral Galeforce, more Galeforce, have been contacted by the Center for Chaos Containment and offered their men for one Henry Stickmin. Ellie has been good emotional support, but Henry goes against Galeforce and Ellie in order to save his friend.

Got that? Great!👍

So what's the headcanon this week? Well, @triple-threat-toppats and @azuri-the-imperfect-artist have AU's/headcanons that Toppat-ing is in Henry's blood, whether that be biological or otherwise, and we'll be meeting a new character this chapter who ties this all together perfectly😈.

We all good? FANTASTIC!

LET'S DIVE IN!!

We pick up where we left off with Henry outside as a receptionist, of sorts, freaks out that he called, telling everyone on the floor and shouting for an official to take the call.

Through this entire exchange, Henry rolls his eyes at how much of a fan boy the receptionist is, groans that no one can find an official at two' in the moring, and eventually takes a seat and listens as a few mid-ranking officials argue about who gets to talk to him; 10.6 anomaly, he's a pretty big deal to them.

They all fall silent when a man shouts, "Hand 'im over to me."

Henry should be scared, but he's glad that FINALLY someone is on the other end to talk to.

"Mr. Stickmin," says the official. "Nice of you to call."

"Who am I speaking with right now?" Henry asks as he stands up, not at all interested in playing games. (The irony that hit me after I typed that🤦‍♀️😂😂)

The official scoffs, "Not one for banter. I respect that. Son, name's Corporal Bill Bullet, leading official of the Center for Chaos Containment. How can we help you at this hour?"

Henry paces as he continues talking. "You talked to General Rupert Galeforce, right?"

"We did, actually. About you, but you probably already guessed that."

Henry looks back at the toppat orbital station, staring at it as he stays silent. Again, he is not in the mood for games.

Bullet sighs on the other end of the phone. "Guess you calling means you've made you're choice?"

Henry is quiet for a second and swallows a lump in his throat. "What happens if I agree to the terms?"

"Take a guess, kid."

Henry sees flashes of his life if he is in the CCC's custody and groans at the migraine said flashes give him.

"You're quite the interesting person, Henry. Robbing a bank with a bag, breaking out of prison by dogding and throwing bullets before stealinga police car, stealing a diamond by pushing yourself off a bridge, taking down the toppats, and escaping a maximum security complex with barely even a scratch."

Henry bites his tongue as he remembers those moments and their alternative paths INCLUDING the fails.

"But you didn't just get a few scratches, you did? 10.6 is a pretty high rating on our meter. Can't imagine what would happen to a person who causes as much chaos as you."

Henry shakes his head and snaps, "Just tell me!"

Bullet is silent once more, disappointed at how he can't at least tease what is essentially a rabbit walking right into an easily seen trap.

"We'll study the source of your... ability. How one person can live one life before jumping to the next, but existing like he did before that life ended.

"You may be a young man, Henry, but you've probably lived longer and died more than the rest of us put together. Why is that? How, excatly?"

Despite the knot forming in his stomach, Henry nods and hums to let Bullet know he's listening.

"There's also a certain balance to the world, one that shouldn't be bothered, 'less we want to cause A LOT of collateral damage. Lead to a lot of people getting hurt, cause a lot of casualties. You already lost one person you care about. What if you lost all of them?"

Henry gulps as he remembers the complex riot and how a robot was sent to tear down the museum he stole the Tunisian Diamond from.

Any of those people could've easily been Ellie or the General or, if he'd gone down the Toppat route, the entire clan.

Bullet may be manipulating emotionally, but he kind of has a point.

The chaos Henry causes is extremely dangerous, if what we've seen in StD, ItA, FtC, and CtM are any examples. Imagine if he had caused that sort of chaos in a major city, like real world New York or Detroit.

I don't know about you guys, but if something like any of the games happened IRL, all caused by Henry, there would easily be cities flattened to the ground with COUNTLESS fatalities.

"Helloooo? You still with me, Mr. Stickmin?"

Henry snaps out of his stupor and takes a deep breath before talking again. "Promise me you'll help. I want your honest word."

"Which I'll stay good on as long ad you keep your end of the bargain," Bullet retorts. "A quarter of our forces at your disposal to help you get your friend back as long as you turn yourself in to our facility. Deal?"

Henry is silent again, but when he speaks again, he tries something:

"Will I still talk to anyone outside? Send them any letters?"

"Not really. Think the government would handle our research well? Or what you can do?

"Last chance, deal or no deal?"

Henry stares up at the sky, counting the stars and moon, and then watches orbital station drift across the sky, covering part of the moon.

"Sir, we have a situation!" Someone yells on the other end.

Bullet does one if those angry growls or snarls. "Don't keep me waiting on your answer, Henry. Our resources are limited, too. Make your decision and call me back the second you do."

"Sir-"

"I'M COMING!"

The call ends and Henry lets out a sigh as he drops to his knees and then hugging them to his chest, shaking and now doubting whether or not he's making the right choice.

Unbeknownst to him, however, Ellie had followed him when he walked out and is struggling very badly with hiding her tears and sobbing from Henry, who is over a few feet away.

JUMP TO SOME FAN SERVICE!!😍🤩

Er, Charles. Jump to Charles. I SAID CHARLES!!!!!

Charles is mostly done showering, mostly because he's done washing and cleaning himself up, even shaving because he looks better without facial hair, and is now simply standing in the shower and letting the water fall on him.

He can't exactly remember how long it's been since he showered last, but he doesn't bother trying to because it only makes him think about how the government destroyers were blown up and anyone who managed to get on the station was killed as a message to the government and Henry and Ellie, and as an example for Charles, in case he gets any ideas.

He keeps thinking about how Henry looked at him before he went unconscious, how Henry did nothing to help him even though HE could've done something. He had before on missions, so what had stopped him then and there?

"I was wondering the same thing," Right says, though Charles doesn't hear him over the water running.

Charles gasps as he slips to the ground and realizes how he's thinking about his friend, forgetting Right was standing on the other side of the wall and curtain to keep an eye on him, just in case.

"N-no," Charles says to who he thinks is himself. "He... He wouldn't just leave me. None of them would."

Right rolls his eyes at this and steps closer to where he's in front of the curtain, though he does grab a towel. "You know, you talk to yourself a lot. 'S kind of freaky."

Charles curls into himself and into the corner of the shower and covers his ears. "Shut up! Just shut up and leave me alone!"

"How long have you been here?" Right asks as he looks up at the ceiling. "And why isn't Henry here to get you out? Aren't you two supposed to be friends?"

"Stop it!" Charles cries, curling into himself further.

Right smirks and decides to twirs the knife. "He helped that Ellie girl, didn't he? When she needed his help? I wonder if what they say is true? Birds of a feather flock together? They're both criminals, so I wouldn't really blame them for teaming up."

"SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH!" Charles screams. "YOU'RE WRONG! ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG! HE'S COMING TO SAVE ME, THEY ALL ARE!"

Right's smirk drops and he raises and eyebrow before drawing back the curtain.

Charles flinches back, covering his head and waiting for the strike.

But it never comes.

He looks up at Right, who's standing and giving him a look that says very clearly, 'I'm getting sick of your shit, stop.'

The two stare at each other for a bit, Charles wide eyed and scared before glaring as hard as he can.

Right keeps his bored expression because while he's probably in the best shape he's been in in a WHILE, Charles has lost at least twenty-five pounds and is cowering in the corner of a shower with long hair and clean shaven face; one lesson they teach you: you don't always need a mirror to shave your face.

The two continue their staring contest until Right slings the towel over his shoulder, takes off his top hat, and reaches into the shower with his cybernetic hand and turns off the water, flicking any off his fingers before stepping back and putting his top hat back on, Charles staring the whole time in case Right attacks him.

Right doesn't, of course, and tosses Charles the towel before pointing to a set of clothes hanging behind him and , just something neat but comfortable, not exactly a sweater and sweat pants, but close enough.

He then walks away until he's facing the door, his back to Charles.

"Hurry up and get dressed. Your room's ready."

Charles dries off and does get dressed, but he's careful to not take his eyes off Right.

First this guy got Charles captured and isolated him from everyone else, and now he's letting Charles shower and have his own room?

What's he up to?

Don't worry, he doesn't talk to himself this time.

Charles finishes putting on the clothes Right gave him, and looks at the towel he'd just hung on the hanger that held his clothes. Then he looks at Right, who's back is still turned.

You know EXACTLY where this is going.

Charles takes down the towel, careful that it doesn't hit the wall, and starts twisting it up as he sneaks up to Right, who either looks down at a wrist watch or checks a pocket watch because now he's getting a little bored.

Just as Charles is about to get the jump on him, Right pivots to face him.

"Good. You're done. It took you long enough."

Charles is absolutely speechless as he goes completely pale his face drops.

"Here, let me take that for you." Right pulls the towel out of Charles's hands and unwinds it. "Shouldn't do this to a wet towel. Could get moldy."

Right nods his head as a 'follow me' and leaves the showers.

Charles remains shell shocked for a minute and tries not to burst into tears at how his plan blew up his his face, but ultimately walks after Right, who strides ahead with a smile on his face.

Think Henry got away with that call? Weeeeeeeelll...

CUT TO THE GOVERNMENT

Galeforce SLAMS his hands on his desk, making Henry jump slightly in his chair and Ellie flinch against the wall, her arms crossed and shoulders hunched.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!? ACCEPTING THE DEAL MADE BY THOSE NUTJOBS!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?"

Henry's sign is sloppy and fast, but the general still understands it. 'Wanted Charles safe.'

"So do we, Henry, but not by selling one of our best!"

Henry shakes his head and signs again, this time more clearly. 'You can't make me change my mind.'

Ellie speaks up after being silent for so long: "Henry, think about what you're doing."

'Already did. Made up my mind.'

"Son, it's not worth it."

Those words hit Henry harder than they should, making him grit his teeth.

"Trust me. Those CCC guys are nothing but trouble. We can't accept their help."

Henry shoots up to his feet. "I DON'T CARE!" He screams. "CHARLES IS TRAPPED IN SPACE WITH NO ONE TO HELP HIM AND IT'S MY FAULT HE'S UP THERE TO BEGIN WITH, SO LET ME FIX THIS!"

No one talks as Henry pants, falling back into his chair and holdong his head in his hands, pulling slightly at his hair and shaking.

"It's all I can think of doing. It's our only option. I can't think of anything else."

Ellie and Galeforce exchange glances before turning back to Henry, who leans heavily on one hand or arm as he meets their gaze.

"You're sure you know what you're doing?"

Henry looks at them both for a moment while not speaking before nodding slowly. 'I can't think of anything else. The corporal hung up before I could say yes. Someone talked about a 'situation.''

Ellie and Henry stare at each other, the former more puffy eyed than she was last night because this could very well be the last time she sees her friend.

She doesn't want him to leave, but if it's really his choice, who is she to not support him after all he did to help her?

"When do you-"

'I'm going in to visit later. Called back and told them I'd gove my answer AFTER I talked to someone.'

Both look at him incredulously.

"Talk to who?" Galeforce asks as he turns his head to look at Henry through the corner of his eye.

Henry takes in a deep breath through his nose and holds either of his hands at the top of his head, raising them up and down, gesturing a top hat to them.

BACK TO CHARLES

Right leads Charles to the room and watches him walk inside and look around, almost confused because it's been so so long since he'd last been in a normal bedroom. And because there's a chance this could all be a trick.

"Been a while since you had a decent room. Prob'ly nicer than what you're used to."

Charles takes a seat on the bed and keeps his head down, confused and tired of Right's games.

"You don't really believe Henry's gonna save you, do you? It's been a while since the last destroyer was sent and the government has more pilots. You military people are pretty easy to replace. You are just a pilot, after all."

Charles keeps his head down and lets his hair hang; it's obviously grown longer and Right gave him a razor but no scissors.

"Why are you doing this?" Charles asks. "What do you want from me?"

Right fights a smile and approaches Charles, taking a knee infront of him and waiting for the pilot to acknowledge him, which Charles does by picking up his head and meeting his eyes.

BACK TO THE CCC HEADQUARTERS!!!!!

Henry is being led by four guards and Bill Bullet. He hasn't gotten a lot of sleep, but he's good at not showing it.

"Weird request to visit someone before you make your decision. Usually we don't allow visitors." Bullet turns and sees Henry keeping up behind him, zoning out slightly but snapping out of it when he sees him looking. "You're not as talkative as you were on the phone the other night."

'Only way to contact you,' Henry signs.

Bullet smirks a little bit. "You deaf in one of your ears?"

'If I need to, I'll talk. Otherwise, I'll sign. Now where is he?'

Bullet sighs stops at an acrylic wall, seeing a doctor talking to a man.

Henry bristles slightly before calming himself back down.

"Guessing you two haven't talked in a while. I love reunions."

Henry narrows his eyes at Bill and gestures to the room. 'Private?'

"Enough. Don't worry, we won't listen in." Bill then grabs Henry by his jacket lapel and shoves him against the wall, catching the attention of doctor and occupant. "But I'm warning you right now," Bill growls as he leans close to Henry's face. "Try anything funny while you're in there, and I'll make you regret ever being born."

Henry nods and Bullet backs off him, letting him collect himself as the doctor walks out.

"Sir? He's done with his tests. His vitals and mental state are stable. He's also ready to see his visitor."

Bullet sweeps a gesture to the door. "He's all yours, Mr. Stickmin."

Henry nods and enters the room, his eyes on its occupant.

The two stare at each other for a bit, taking in each other's features.

"Hello, Henry."

The man in this room used to be moderately fit, and a REAL charmer, but years spent in the CCC's facility have taken their toll. He's gotten skinnier, his face is wrinkled and sunken in, and his hair, while it's slightly longer than Henry's, is greying and becoming thin. He doesn't look terrible by any means, but he has definitely seen better days.

He has cybernetics for both his arms and one leg, along his spine, neck to tailbone, and in part of his jaw. Where his left eye used to be, the eyelids are closed and flat; he's not even allowed to have a glass eye.

Being overthrown by Reginald Copperbottom, both literally and figuratively, forever left him with a permanent reminder.

The two stare at each other for a little while longer before Henry replies to the notorious worst leader in the toppat clan's history.

"Hi, Dad."

The two continue staring, Henry shuffling in place and Terrence rubbing his neck.

Henry signs, 'How is it here?'

"A hell hole. Nothing to do, no one to talk to, and you only get something when they say you can. Other than that, it's peachy."

Terrence's eye darts to the guards and Bill before moving back to Henry. "Guess what they said was true. You're actually coming here so you can save your friend."

"Yeah," Henry replies after a second.

I know I'm putting in a lot of pauses, but these two don't even send letters to each other, so sharing a room and having a conversation for them is awkward and extremely uncomfortable.

Back on track, Terrence scoffs at Henry's line of thinking, commenting, "And I thought these doctors were crazy. Let me guess: Reggie decided to take something from you because you took something from him? He always was a child."

'Reginald's been in prison since I arrested him.'

"You arrested him?" Terrence repeats as he stands. "The leader of the toppat clan, the most infamous group of bandits and thieves, and you just turned him in to the government? Why didn't you join him, you would've been perfectly fine!"

'Right hand man has my friend, I need to get him back. That's why I'm here.'

Terrence puts his hands on his face and groans. "No. Do not tell me I'm hearing this." He meets eyes with Henry, who nods with a shrug.

"You broke out of prison with a bar from your own cell, stole a diamond on a scooter, and escaped a maximum security prison, but you arrested the leader of the toppat clan, the son of a bitch of did this to me-" Terrence holds his arms out to gesture to his cybernetic body. "- and gave him to the government, but didn't see his lap dog wanting to settle the score or even the odds with you!?"

'A lot goes through my head on missions, okay!?'

Terrence nods, humming cheekily. "I'll bet. Think it would've gone better if you'd used that gun you had? We both know he wasn't going to do anything."

Henry sees himself charging at Right rather than throwing away his gun, but signs back, 'You don't know what he would've done. You haven't seen him.'

Terrence points to a tv in the corner of the room, one right next to the camera. "Saw how he got an upgrade. You can groom and pamper a dog all you want, its bark will still be worse than it's bite."

Henry spots Bill talking to the guards before waving at him and tapping on his wrist, more specifically on a watch. 'Don't take long.'

"Saw their orbital station, too. Like hell you're getting your friend out of space. And like hell sunglasses over there is gonna let you out of his sight if you're serious about that deal."

Henry looks Terrence directly in the eye and nods. 'I know.'

Terrence's face drops as Henry continues.

'During the mission, I hesitated because I was scared he'd kill Charles, my friend. I helped the government by giving them plans, but nothing worked. This is my last option. You are my last option. You weren't around then to tell me what to do, but I need you now because for once I have everything I could ever want, and I'm about to lose it all for being a coward. I know you're not going to like it, or even care, but I just need you to be here when they bring me in. Just be there and tell me I did enough for once, when you're really around. That's all I need right now.'

It's this that makes Terrence drop the "tough loving father" act and makes him realize that this is for real. This is not his son saying, "I made a mistake, fix it for me." This is his son telling him that this is his plan and he needs support to know he's doing the right thing.

Henry is extremely shaky because this is something he does not do with his father. They aren't usually open with each other, as in they do get emotional; toxic masculinity at its finest... and daddy issues.

Regardless, Henry collects himself before signing again.

'I'm going to agree to the terms. If they can send a piece of the ground to space or erase the universe, then they can help me. It's all I can think of doing that'll work.'

Terrence is quiet for a moment, looking at Bill and the guards as they gossip about something before turning back to Henry.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?"

Hebry nods. 'It's all that I can think of that's going to work. Again, if they can send a chunk of land of space or erase the universe, then they can help me.'

Terrence steps back and shakes his head.

"You're going to die here. You know that, right? I'm telling you now it's not worth it."

Henry's face drops.

"Look, I get it. You never were good at keeping friends, but, Henry, I'm telling you, just let this guy go. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life locked in a cage?"

Henry shakes his head as he signs. 'No, but I'm not going to abandon my friend like you abandoned us.'

"I had a clan to run, Henry!" Terrence snaps. "I wanted you to stay, have an easy life, but no. You two just ran off on me!"

'Just because something's easy doesn't always make it right,' Henry signs. He begins signing something else, but stops before continuing. 'Look. I'm accepting the terms. I wanted to tell you now ao you're not disappointed later.'

Henry holds up a hand in farewell and turns to leave, ready to get back to the base and start forming a new plan.

"Henry?"

He turns to see Terrence staring once again, but also sees his throat bobbing, like he's coughing or about to be sick.

"Good... Good luck. Getting your friend back."

Henry's eyes widen and he shakily nods. 'Thanks.'

The two stare at each other like before, but this time they slowly advance towards one another, maneuver their arms until they're in an admittedly awkward, uncomfortable, but welcome embrace; again, emotion is not their strong suit.

"You're going to regret it. Turning yourself in. Life's for living, and you're throwing it away."

Henry pulls back and waves 'goodbye' once more and leaves the room.

"Took you long enough," Bill says as Henry rejoins him. "Have a nice visit?"

Henry narrows his eyes.

"Well, you got your visit. Hope you know how to get into that station."

Henry takes one last look at his father before nodding.

'The terms-'

"Same as advertised," Bill interrupts. "A quarter of our forces as long as you come quietly so we study your ability."

'AFTER my friend is rescued and safe.'

Bill waves him off. "Fine, yes. After your friend's back home and safe." He holds his hand out infront of him and Henry. "What do you say, Henry? Do we have a deal?"

Behind the acrylic, Terrence watches the two of them, his hands against the wall and his eyes on his son.

Henry keeps his eyes on Bill's hand before looking into his eyes. With a mental push, he claps his hand into the corporal's and shakes it, nodding.

"Deal."

Terrence bumps and shakes his head against the wall. "You idiot," he murmurs. "What are you doing?"

AND THAT'S A WRAP ON PART 4!!!!! Oh my goodness, did I enjoy writing this one! A lot of twists and turns and opportunities to just leave you all hanging, I'm not even joking. I haven't really written manipulation or character dynamics like Henry's and Terrence's before, and I think I did pretty well.

Again, check out @multiverse-madness and @azuri-the-imperfect-artist for their Terrence Suave AUs because they are both amazing artists and, honestly, do better with the character than me.😅

For real, all of you, thank you, thank you, thank you, so much for your patience with this one. Like I said in my update post, I have a lot going on in my personal life and just couldn't get in a good creative mindset to do this.

I know we didn't see a lot of Charles this time around, but that's gonna change in Part 5😈

ANYWAY, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!

#henry stickmin #angst tw #mild swearing tw #slight abuse tw #absent father #terrence suave #charles calvin #ellie rose #mental manipulation tw #emotional manipulation tw #completing the mission

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crackcrocs · 4 years ago

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DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #9

This is to narcissistic mothers/ parents & anyone who is willing to understand.

(Written by me-for and through the lens of my dear friend, i wish you nothing but freedom from her chains. i wish you TLC)

Their ability to make everyone think they’re loving parents.

Their ability to make their kids believe that abuse is normal.

Their ability to make you believe you owe them everything.

Their ability to make themselves believe that they are right.

Their ability to turn the tables and make you believe that it was your fault.

All of this rings so true.

They do make you feel crazy; they suck the energy and ability to reason logically right out of you- and, by very nature of their narcissism, it never occurs to them that *they* might be the problem.

You can’t expect a relationship to happen with someone highly dysfunctional. how do you stoop down to the level of someone who aside from work & put all energy into keeping up an appearance can only abuse substance, speak to empty friends & post garbage.

In truth, I think the alcoholism is a symptom of her larger mental illness or narcissistic personality disorder- but it’s no excuse. Her parenting is unreliable, inconsistent, and unpredictable. There never is a sense of safety and consistency, allowing me to thrive.

I’m told to forgive & keep peace & ignore all your craziness. All the advice I've been getting on dealing with a narcissistic mother has been saying to avoid her as much as possible, or to try communicate & ‘keep peace’ as if I haven’t tried to communicate, as if I’m purposely singling her out from our already empty relationship. Well now I'm stuck at home all day, or every household or friend I bring over, she decides to involve. So much for distancing myself. The worst part is she isn't even doing it herself, she just sits around watching tv, having friends over & phoning everyone while Im expected to clean up after her and "contribute" to the family/ financially support my self for college.

- Yes, absolutely, I am the crazy one. You know what, I’m not even going to deny it, I probably have a ton of issues, most of them mental. But guess where they came from? Guess who made those problems worse and maybe even helped create them? No mom, you’re not to blame for everything or the “war in Iraq” as you so eloquently put it. But you are to blame for some it, at the very least. it’s time to take account & I will no longer be made to feel like the obligated for for an entitled narc.

I feel your claws sinking in less and less. You no longer have me in chains, I will break free from your emotional bondage even if it takes me seeming boring & silencing myself around you to not endure & tolerate your nonsense. Your words no longer fill me with despair like they once did.

This year long cold shoulder would have once filled me with anxiety but now all I feel is bliss. I no longer feel jealous when others talk about their seemingly perfect parents because I may not have that luxury but what I do have is a chance to be a "perfect parent" myself potentially one day. To be everything you couldn't and wouldn't somewhere far away and isolated from your poison.

I wonder how you feel... but I simply can’t understand or pretend to care anymore. I’m tired of putting energy into a source that doesn’t put out. When children don't talk to you unless prompted- it’s because there is nothing to be said after the plenty opportunities given to converse truly & openly.

No I don’t want to speak to your 9th friend on the phone today again about surface level things just to please you. No I don’t want to come socialise with your drunk friends & be spoken to like a child

When you have to tell yet another lie to yet another friend to mask the evidence of a broken home When you look in the mirror and only see insecurities When you realise there's no one around you and can't figure out why When you tear down someone close yet again, to feel good about yourself I wonder how you feel, I wonder if you feel, I wonder if you can...

my mom pushes me away but doesnt wanna let me leave. she doesn’t want to take into account that she pushed me to this extent. part of growth is being able to communicate your emotions properly. how can a whole 43 year old be unable to do so? I Vocalize when I’m not okay with something. Communication helps people avoid being uncomfortable, easily triggered, hostile, or passive aggressive with people. her communication is one sided and I’m the only one who gets to listen while she’s the only one who gets to talk, otherwise I’m ‘answering back’ or ‘telling a woman what to do’ even though I talk sense and out of respect in my responses or when I do try speak.

Worse yet I have to go BACK to the emotionally abusive situation that I basically fled.

What really bugs me is when you’ve given someone so many chances to do better and change. But then once you get tired of their antics, you try to move on and they continually try to reel you back in. Not even trying to change, but instead *trying* to reel you back in for their benefit. It’s unhealthy and traumatizing to say the least.

I guess i should be glad your swinging moods and emotions taught me to manage mine from young. I should be glad that I had to teach myself not to care about what you said to me and what you thought about me. I should be overjoyed that the side effect was me not caring about what anyone said or thought and basically becoming an inert emotionless void. I should be thankful that I always look fine even when I’m in pain and feeling like death and I’m capable of putting up with things that would send any sane person off the edge.

relationships are so much healthier when the goal is to experience life together and not to try to make the person into who you want them to be or to make them do what you want them to do. In my case my mother has de masculated me over the years making me soft and obedient, for her own selfish gain of having a man worship her. she decided since she doesn’t have a man, or never managed to find someone stay at home that’s he truly connected to, she’s decided the man that’s going to worship her will be me- her son. Since I resemble my father who she was in love with, she will always talk bad on me as she resents my father for not wanting her.

through gaslighting me over the years, it’s become harder to speak up, I even feel embarrassed to tell my dad even though that’s probably the only thing that will make her open her eyes and get clean. my pot is boiling though. Independence is obviously healthy but when it gets to the point where i find it challenging to actually be able to even admit that i might need assistance in this situation, problems arise. And for what? Why I’m I protecting her image? I’ve been taught to & I’m a respectable young man who won’t take joy from her exposure, but I don’t take joy from preserving information & keeping it all inside to deal with myself. I’ve become so hard on myself and still pushing through-it’s not easy, people still expect me to be a super heroe all the time. I have a hard time opening up, allowing people to help me in whatever I’m doing. I hate even admitting I need help most times. I wish I’d been taught early what my mother learned late, thankfully I was observant, self taught & still willing to learn- thankfully I’m not a follower & I know right from wrong.

The worst part about looking at the future and trying to imagine it full of hope, light and emotional health is knowing that you'll always have the scars. Emotional abusers aren't supposed to leave scars but mine managed to. And in my mother's usual style it can even be passed off as unintentional. In my case it was actually supposed to a kind act which ended badly in the way that only events in my life can seem to end.

All the phone calls to your friends, you continuously fake talk about me on a nonexistent relationship. it’s sad how you need to phone 100 people in a day and can only hold the same surface level chats. I wonder if you can grip the fact that nobody ever wants to help you with anything. you’re lucky they even listen and you’re lucky they only know your side of the story every time. you’re a great potter & can mould situations.

It’s sad that if you sense the slightest hint that people do not approve of your estrangement and they are not going to be there for your nonsense, you stir the pot and involve and buss peoples names, further spinning your web of lies.

All the pity you came to relish over the years as single mother warrior extraordinaire would simply dry up. Any attempts to paint me, your only child in a negative light would seem simply monstrous if I exposed you, but I maintain respect, bite my tongue & hold my head up because my real mother figure taught me that.

But really you have to keep up the pretense to your friends, that I was an insubordinate, ungrateful bitch of a problem child and you were a glorious brave single mother at her wits end just trying to make things work. even with the mural I painted, you forced me to mention the single mother narrative; as if that had anything to do with my art piece. I mean how selfish can you be? the art peace was to represent Sheku Bayou & the BLM movement, I didn’t even want to put my real name- I wanted to put my instagram page associated with my art because business is business and personal is personal. but to toot your horn, I added a whole separate paragraph because you wanted your name to be connected to my art piece as though I’m some sort of celebrity and it was my claim to fame. the single mother narrative is bullshit, I know tonnes of single african parents that know how to step up when it’s time to be a mother, but that’s something you’ve never known how to do. I remember you drunk the day I came here and I will never forget the words ‘I will drink myself to death if I want to’ I don’t have sympathy anymore and I’m not a saviour, I have tried and tried through hiding alcohol, attempting to converse & get her to cut down; but you can only bring a horse to the water not to drink it. how is a teenager meant to know how to stop an alcoholic junkie? I’m her son you say? If she truly cared and wanted to fix up, I would be one thing to stop her I thought.

my mother is an alcoholic. an addict. she refuses to wear those labels, but this has far exceeded the occasional ‘binge’ ‘sesh’ or ‘Prosecco party’ .Throughout middle school and high school, I would guess that half or so of the days out of the year she spent in a wine haze. Even my constant begging her to stop drinking did not stop it. Pouring her wine down the drain or hiding it made her angry and transitioned to mental and phsyical abuse. She became increasingly angry and I aged and entered high school but she was always this way since I came really. It was during this time that I would lock the doors to my room and try to hide from her in there. I still barricade my room door to this day just for my own peace. Despite all the horrendous things she did, every once in a while she did give me money, and this gets dangled over my head RELENTLESSLY... as if money buys love.

I needed to get some outside reassurance that I'm sane. Thankfully now I know and all I can do is try stay in my lane, can’t argue with a supposed adult with a brain that resembles a wall or a child.

People who were emotionally abused have spent far too long defending themselves. Justifying their own feelings. Trying to make others see and understand what they went through is a task. Abusive parents are very good at manipulating. that’s why I have ceased contact with this toxic person, i do not owe anyone an explanation.Doesn’t matter if they are a family member or close family friend. Doesn’t matter if they are a friend or acquaintance of yours. I’ve learned just to be boring , save everything interesting and beautiful about myself for those who deserve it.

#LCZABIBU #deathwillonlybethebeginning

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countlessimagines · 6 years ago

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The Gamer Guy [ Colin Ritman x Reader ]

Summary: your brother Stefan introduces you to the one and only Colin Ritman

“hello!! can you write a colin ritman x reader? fluff of any kind? (i can be more specific if you like :})” - @the-outrages

“Please write anything Colin please 😭 I’ve always loved will, now he’s finally being appreciated I need my fix of fanfic 😂x” - @justleave-already

“Hey. Can you write me a few imagines with Cokin Ritman from Bandersnatch. And then tag me in them? Thanks ❤” - @maryhuffxoxo

Warnings: Some language

MASTERLIST

It was a tough week for your little brother, Stefan, to say the least. You saw him rotting away in his room trying to finish Bandersnatch but it just wasn't going well for him. You went to go check on him one day and when you entered his room, he slammed his fist against the desk.

“Stefan?” You cautioned while walking over to him. “Hey, maybe you need a break.”

He rotated in his seat and looked at you so frustrated and miserable. “Yeah, that - that would be nice.”

You drove Stefan and yourself to his favorite lunch spot and parked in front. Getting out of the car, Stefan saw someone he knew and hurriedly walked to the sidewalk to say hello.

“Colin?” He said and started fiddling with his fingers. Now that he was in the situation, he didn’t know what to say.

Colin looked at Stefan and didn’t miss a beat while nodding, “How’s it going with Bandersnatch?”

“Frustrating, really really frustrating,” He stammered. “But my sister drove us here so we could eat and I could get my mind off of it.”

You walked up to the two and eyed Colin suspiciously, “And who are you?”

“I’m Colin,” he said and titled his head. You had the thought he was checking you out as his eyes darted over you.

“Ah, yes,” You nodded and pointed your finger at him, “You’re that gamer guy that my brother always talks about... Want to join us for lunch?”

Colin took a second to think but agreed and followed you two inside. Funny thing it was, though, for the server. He had just left the restaurant only a few minutes ago.

“Eh, they’re not my favorite band,” You said and skipped through the various records Colin had in his room. “I rather listen to my dad go on about his new food techniques he learned. Which is so boring, may I add.”

Colin chuckled from where he sat on his couch, staring at you with a certain look in his eyes.

“I bet that’s not too bad.”

“Want to bet? You should come to my house sometime... He's also pestering Stefan so much that I think the poor kid is going to snap at him.”

“Mm, that's not good. Especially if he’s working. Might release his anger on your dad if he messes up or something goes bad. I yelled at someone so badly one time that they quit.”

“How charming.��

You both had found out that there were many similar interests Colin and you shared. Stefan became wary about you two hanging out - claiming he had terrible dreams where you two being together wasn't the best. You ignored your little brother’s concerns and carried out the blooming friendship - or whatever it was - with Colin.

You often caught him observing you, a look of admiration on his face.

Turning around, you took a seat next to him and noticed that he became a little more tense.

“So, did you see your latest reviews on that one show? Stefan had it on and I was listening in. They gave it a good review.”

Colin shrugged, “I don’t really look at those types of things.”

“Oh come on!” You told him exasperated. “It’d help you. You know, some criticism.”

“What did you think about the game?” He questioned, more interested in your answer more than a random kid on the television.

“I liked it, but I prefer others games more than yours,” You teased and noticed him get visibly upset. “I’m just joking.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He smiled and placed his hand on your knee. “Well, you better head home, check on Stefan.”

You became confused because it was only an hour ago you arrived, “How - how come?”

“I’m tired and I have a long day tomorrow,” He said bluntly and his “Okay,” You murmured and collected your things. “Want out hang out on Saturday?”

“I’ll have to see.”

A couple weeks went by and you heard nothing from Colin. No calls or visits.

You tried to reach out to him but he always said he was busy or didn’t have the time to hang out with you.

Thinking you did something wrong to scare him off, you stayed at home and didn't really leave unless it was for meals. And Stefan noticed this.

He knocked on your door and saw that your were laying down with your headphones on. He approached you and took the headphones off, “You alright?”

You shook your head, “Colin’s been blowing me off. I don’t know what I did.”

Stefan sighed and held back the urge to say I told you so, but didn't and mumbled instead, “I don't think it’s your fault.”

“Why else would he reject me?” You shouted and then apologized to Stefan who moved back a bit. “Sorry, I’m just - I don't know. I thought there was something special between us, you know? We have so much in common and had fun hanging out together. Guess it was all for nothing.”

Stefan saw how broken you were over Colin not paying attention to you so he made up his mind on what to do, “I’ll be back.”

It was later on that night that another knock came to your door. You sighed, not really up to talking to Stefan about Colin or you dad asking if you were hungry.

“Come in, I guess,” You mumbled loud enough for the person to hear you. Sitting up on your bed, you could feel some bones cracking because of how long you were laying down.

Colin shyly slid into the room and did an awkward smile.

A lot of thoughts ran through your head. First, you wanted to hit him with a pillow. Second, you wanted to cry. Three, you wanted to push him out. You went with option one.

Chucking a large pillow at him, he tried to dodge it but rather got hit harder, “Hey! Hey! Easy with the pillows.”

“You are truly a terrible person.”

“I wouldn’t say terrible. Im here, aren't I?”

You raged, “After two weeks of rejection! What happened, Colin? Did you lose interest in me and think I wasn't worthy of being in the presence of the Colin Ritman?”

“No, it’s not like that!” He said and made a large step to your bed. “I... I just... I couldn't...”

“You couldn’t, what?”

“I couldn’t see you because I... I have feelings for you.”

You were shocked by his statement and gave him a what the hell look.

“I know it’s crazy and we’ve only know each other for not even two months. But, there's something about you that makes my heart sting and my head go high wire and my thoughts filled with how much I love you.”

“It’s not crazy at all,” You comforted him and fully stood up from your bed. “Hearing what you said made me realize I have feelings for you, too. I think that’s why I got so mad. I thought I lost a really amazing man.”

Colin beamed at you so brightly and rushed forward. He grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you roughly, but you didn’t mind. Kissing him back felt like it was an eternity waiting for something like this to happen. And it felt warm and familiar.

“Are you guys okay?” Stefan came into the room and then instantly left. “I wasn't suppose to see that.”

#colin ritman #colin ritman imagine #colin ritman x reader #will poulter #will poulter x reader #will poulter imagine #bandersnatch #bandersnatch imagine #bandersnatch black mirror #black mirror bandersnatch #stefan butler #stefan bulter x reader #stefan bulter imagine #fionn whitehead #fionn whitehead imagine #fionn whitehead x reader

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mythical-song-wolf · 6 years ago

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BNHA Angst Week

Day 7: Rose // Time

White day was fast approaching and normally, after being in a relationship for so long, Izuku would be excited for that day. Because he gets to pamper and get pampered by his Kacchan.

But he can’t do that.

Why?

Because he’s back a good decade or so before he even started dating Katsuki. He’s back in middle school, a good month before the sludge villain and meeting All Might. Over a good year before he and Kacchan finally clear up that misunderstanding that was— is simmering between them since they were kids.

But Deku just wants his Kacchan, even if only for a moment. He’s knows it’s selfish. He knows it’s wrong. He knows he shouldn’t be doing things. But... the heart wants what the heart wants and Deku doesn’t know if he’ll be okay if he doesn’t at least do this.

Izuku goes out to buy somethings. He’ll need to be careful when buying it. Hopefully Kacchan doesn’t see him, he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he sees those beautiful crimson eyes again.

Katsuki stops over to class, irritated and patience waning since he woke up.

First his mom had to shout him awake, saying that her and the old man will be out to get stuff for White day and all that shit.

Second, he was reminded fucking White day was coming up. The day he was planning on asking that nerd... Before that bastard... No. He shouldn’t think of it. There’s no use thinking about it when he’s been set back by literal years. Him and Deku aren’t a thing yet.

Deku is still the derogatory nickname he used for Izuku for years. It’s not the name of a hero just yet.

Deku, to Katsuki at this point in the timeline, is a useless, Quirkless, weak pebble on the side of the road that Katsuki should not pay mind to.

But Katsuki knows better. He’s a goddamn time traveller, of course he would know better. He knows Deku has a better heart than most Pro Heroes. He knows Deku would sacrifice himself again and again and again to save someone. He knows Deku is stronger than anyone he’s ever met. He knows Deku is the name of a hero, of a Symbol of Hope.

He knows that Deku is the name that brought— will bring hope in people’s hearts. Brought— bring hope in the hearts of Ochako, Tenya, Shouto, Eri, Sir Fucking Nighteye, and various other people.

But to him, Deku is the name of the guy that was always chasing after him. The guy he’s known since they were kids. And while they were never on friendly terms before U.A.. They always had a strange synergy with each other. When they didn’t think about it they moved seamlessly and in tandem with the other.

The first time it happen outside of training and life threatening situations is after they had long since started dating and moved into the same apartment. They were making dinner one night and they weaved and moved around perfectly with the other, passing things along and moving as easily as they would in a battle. The realization that they didn’t say a word to each other during the entire time they were cooking hit them when they were eating as one of them started talking.

They paused, before they broke out in a fit of giggles. A warm fluttering in their hearts as they smiled and laughed so hard that their cheeks started to hurt and they could both barely breathe.

After they calmed down, Izuku sighed, looking at Katsuki with his shining green eyes, “I love you...” He smiled at him with his eyes shining like emeralds reflecting the colour of the sea during sunset.

Katsuki smiled back, “I love you too, dork,” He chuckled, “Now, let’s eat?”

Izuku chuckled, before nodding, “Yeah.”

Katsuki’s heart flutters at the memory, before it painfully coils. He can’t have that now. He can’t have that for a long, long time. He won’t wake up to Izuku’s cute freckled mug in the morning. He won’t come home to cuddle with Izuku on the couch after a rough day. He won’t have the cheesy but nice walks down the park or beach during sunset. He won’t have Izuku looking at him like he’s... no, Izuku already looks up to him. He just won’t have Izuku looking at him the way he looks at Izuku right now.

Katsuki goes out. He doesn’t want to— shouldn’t be home alone right now. He might do something stupid like break a window or make a dent in the wall.

Izuku was pacing through the market, a checklist in hand and a hood over his head.

“Let’s see, I need some chocolate, cream... cocoa powder... caramel... food colouring...” Izuku mutters, as he walks into a grocery store and weaves through the aisles of the store. Briefly glancing up to check the shelves for the item’s he’s looking for and picking out what he needs.

Izuku hums once he’s done, “Perfect! Now I just need to do— Oof!” He bumps into another person while turning the corner.

“Sorry—” The voice sounds familiar... probably one of his classmates... great.

Izuku shakes his head, “No, it’s fin—” Izuku looks up see pale blonde hair and crimson red eyes. His heart stops. No.

“De- Deku...” Kacchan mutters, hesitant and unsure, sounding nothing like the boy Izuku remembers him to be at this time. But Izuku doesn’t notice over the own ache in his heart.

Izuku swallows down the fear in his system, “Ka- Kacchan...”

The two just stand there for a few moments, staring at each other. As if they’re trying to find something that they have already accepted it isn’t there.

He’s not yours yet.

I know.

“We- Well, Kacchan, I- I need to go,” Izuku stutters, hopefully Katsuki doesn’t notice the crack in his voice, taking a step back before walking around Katsuki.

Katsuki breaks out of his haze when Izuku leaves, he sighs and combs a hand through his hair.

Good job, shithead. You scared him.

Shut up... He... he isn’t the... he’s not my Izuku.

Not yet.

Katsuki shakes his head, ignoring the stupidly hopeful whispers in his brain telling him to woo Izuku now and not make the same mistakes as before. He wants to, too. Oh how he fucking wants to. How much he wants to change how he treated Izuku. How much he wants to change how terrible they both were at communicating properly. How... he so badly wants to change how Izuku looks at him, with his pretty eyes staring at him like a rabbit sensing a predator. How Izuku seems to freeze the moment they lock eyes, unmoving and scared. Scared of Katsuki.

Katsuki shakes his head, telling his brain to stop, before he continues buying stuff from the store with the occasional sight of Deku’s fluff green hair.

Katsuki sees the flower display and spots a suisen.

Maybe I should...

Izuku was currently sleeping the warmth of his bed, a warm figure pressed against his back holding him close.

Izuku instinctually snuggles up closer to them, “Kacchan...”

“Mhm,” Katsuki grumbles, nuzzling his face into Izuku’s hair.

A part of Izuku’s brain jolts into awareness, you were sent back. Kacchan shouldn’t be here.

Another part, the selfish, foolish, hopeful part of his brain hopes that it’s a lies and wants this to be real. To just have Katsuki with him, right now. Let him have this. Please.

A soft voice whispers in Izuku’s eat, the warmth of their breath making Izuku shiver, “Deku... I’m not there... wake up, Deku, wake up... I’m not there, bunny.”

“Mhm,” Izuku grumbles in protest, “But you’re right here.” Izuku grabs onto Katsuki’s hand that rests on his chest.

Katsuki sighs, and it’s heavy, tired, and wary, “I’m sorry... but... I’m not. He didn’t send me back... Only you... time for you to wake up, Deku... Izuku, wake up.”

Izuku feels himself trembling, clutching onto the hand holding him close, “Please, let me have this,” Izuku begs, as he feels tears roll down his cheeks, “Just let me have him back, just this one moment. Please.”

Katsuki doesn’t say anything, but the warmth from his form is long gone now that Izuku is aware.

“I’m sorry, bunny.” Izuku can feel Katsuki’s presence fading, he turns to see Katsuki actually fading away like an illusion or a dream.

“Please... no... Kacchan... Katsuki... don’t leave me...” Izuku tries to grab some part of the fading figure.

“Please, Izuku, love, don’t cry. Please.” Katsuki places his palm on Izuku’s cheek and wipes away a few tears. Izuku leans into his touch and places his own palm over Katsuki’s, as he fades away and Izuku is left all alone.

When White Day came, Izuku and Katsuki went by the day as normal. Izuku with his isolation and notes, and Katsuki with his showboating. Neither interacting unless provoked by one of their classmates.

Lunch rolls by and the moment everyone leaves, Izuku places something on Katsuki’s desk.

Katsuki returns with his lackeys near the end of lunch to spot a box of chocolate on his desk with flowers. A white rose, a primrose, a red camellia, and a gladiolus. Katsuki looks at the box and the small bouquet for a moment, before glancing around to try and find Deku.

It couldn’t have... no. It’s probably some other idiot... but did this happen in the first timeline? Maybe I’m going a bit insane... but it could’ve only have been him...

Katsuki gently places the box and flowers in his bag.

The school day has ended, and Izuku isn’t surprised he didn’t receive anything from anyone. But it still hurts. A foolish and selfish part of him had hoped that Katsuki was sent back with him and would give him something, but Izuku knows better than that.

Upon opening his locker, a small note falls out.

‘Happy White Day, bunny~ <3

Love, your’s truly’

Bunny... Only Katsuki has ever...

Izuku’s heart flutters at the possibility.

It... it’s never bad to hope... right?

Inside his locker he finds a few more things, a small arrangement of flowers and a box of chocolates. A daffodil, a white camellia, a yellow camellia, a yellow tulip, and a blue iris that stands out amongst the brighter colours.

Izuku walks home holding the flowers and the box of chocolates close to his heart.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha-angst-week #bnha angst week #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakumido #bakudeku #izukatsu #katsudeku #deku #kacchan #off the clock

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xuune · 6 years ago

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some thoughts on s7

this ended up me kind of rambling about my thoughts and feelings on s7 that are all over the place, so please bear with me if these thoughts don’t seem too well organized or anything:

now, before i even actually saw the season, i was just snooping around here on tumblr to see what ppl’s reactions were, and i kind of let it get to the better of me. some people were just over dramatizing what was happening in s7, and their negativity on the season made me believe that i would wholeheartedly dislike the season. i saw all the posts with people going on about how if youre still watching the show, you should immediately drop it (and it was mainly centered around few central complaints going around right now, pretty sure you can figure that out on your own on what that was). it was understandable on where the frustration was stemming from. i only got 3 hours of sleep because of what people were saying despite not even seeing the season for myself and seeing how events would ultimately play out. but like they would always say, you shouldn’t let other people’s judgement affect you, and it really shouldn’t be the determining factor on how you view things or how your opinions are formed.

when i watched the season, my general reaction to it was that its “ok”, i didn’t think it was entirely and absolutely terrible. i already know how a lot of us didn’t like the way a few characters got treated. i mainly thought that the animation looked nicer and improved in some of the action scenes. the writing was kind of “meh” for me when it came to whatever certain plot points that got introduced or continued. watching it on my own actually removed any thoughts of me disliking/hating the season entirely.

even though i say this, the things i mention here are mainly about some issues that kept being brought up by people and circled around ever since s7 got released.

in terms of character development? besides what we’ve been given for hunk, which has been awesome so far (i dont really feel like i have much to go in depth with for this, its already self explanatory in the season itself), i guess its going somewhere. i’ve got some hope, but it’s not on the level where its overwhelmingly high and optimistic. everyone’s been talking about the lack of actual lance development, how he’s constantly being reduced to being the “dumb” one, but we actually see him take initiative when needed. lance has been shown to stepping up and taking his role into account when handed the opportunity to do so, and it was multiple times when lance was given the re-established position of keith’s right-hand man. despite whatever remarks keith made on lance, whether or not they were supposed to come off as teasing/joking for the audience, keith does still seem to believe in lance’s capabilities. if he didn’t, keith wouldn’t have trusted lance the task on leading their team on their mission(s). lance actually got scenes where he could shine off as being portrayed more than what he’s constantly being insulted as. there are still some scenes of them showing mutual trust and respect for each other, especially with lance voting for keith during “the feud” and the reasoning he gave. but yeah, some parts it did seem like keith was kind of ooc in certain episodes when comparing his personality back to s3. who knows why keith gave the reasoning he did when he voted for lance. EDIT: acoolemocucumber’s post makes a good note on pointing out how during the voting section, keith is actually the first one to start writing. it’s later revealed that he chose lance on first pick. lance was the second to finish. even though he was peeking over at hunk and pidge to see who they chose, he instead decides to choose keith. keith choosing lance as a first choice without pure hesitance is amazing to see, and it really shows he trusts and respects lance a lot despite the reasoning he gave. then again, actions speak louder than words and countless times keith has shown to be that kind of guy by relaying a lot of important tasks to lance throughout this season.

i’ll do say that i enjoyed most of the scenes they shared when they had to take a leading initiative with each other though. that was pretty nice to see again, and it felt like a decade since i ever saw that kind of dynamic from those two.

there were a lot of action packed scenes, and i watched through those entirely to see if there’s any important plot detail to know, or make note of, while watching the ep to make sure i wouldnt be lost with whats happening so far. some people found it boring, some people found the fight scenes amazing and stunning. certain scenes had me really amazed on how well it was animated, some other scenes not so much in terms of repetition, and thats kind of bound to happen if we’re provided an arc where its continuing to keep the tense vibes on the recurring events with the current situation of the season.

this is just merely my take on it, (my memory’s not the best with how much information im recalling from those 13 episodes) but it kind of felt lackluster with how the paladins barely got any kind of break where they could seriously spend one episode on unwinding, having in-depth conversations one on one, and not be so worried about the galra all the time. sure, there’s a few scenes like that in a few episodes, but it didn’t seem enough to make it feel like it balanced out whatever conflicts or character issues were newly or constantly introduced.

ive read posts already about how some people had liked the season a lot, loved the actions scenes and all. but to me, some conflicts that took place seemed out of place or just didn’t really align well (idk how else to phrase it) especially with adam’s death, and i had minor mixed feelings about ep “the journey within”.

about adam, it just seemed out of place and rushed for them to introduce shiro’s s/o only for them to take him away. we don’t get to see how fleshed out adam could’ve been, and i’ve already seen the frustration/rage people had with adam being killed off when considering how the creators told the viewers that they were gonna get to see adam, but weren’t told how long we’ll see him (plus the entire thing abt lgbt rep that was promised?). the thing with adam left me on a weird note, mainly because if you were just given no other info besides the info from the season, you wouldn’t even be given too explicit information about the relationship shiro had with adam. from there, it felt like there was no point in adding adam into the story if the viewers aren’t given clear information on what kind of bond shiro and adam had besides adam saying that they’ve been through a lot together (or whatever he said, idr it too much) and the “how important am i to you” line for lgbt rep points. its just pretty vague “””representation””” thats just leaving the audience to make the most out of what they’re given. we’re only given confirmation that they used to be fiancés from what they said in panels/interviews, but never in the show. im not sure what to really think about that, my mind’s just kind of in the void when i think about it. but this part i structured kind of badly and i apologize for that, but hopefully those of you can get what im saying.

as for “the journey within”, it was reasonable for the way characters acted; theyre all tired, frustrated, and losing hope and were floating in space waiting for nothing but at least something to happen. keith snaps, gets irritated at everyone, lance is also the one to lash back out at keith saying keith ran away, giving the audience a big sign that lance was hurt by keith’s disappearance/leave from the team. but for keith to quickly later on go take everything back in just a few minutes seemed really awkward for me. its a kids show and all, but i just kind of didn’t like how that one section of that episode was written ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just a feeling i had with it. however, i did love how hunk took a lot of the initiative during the episode, it’s showing his growth of actually him continuing to fully accept his role as a paladin and determined to not back down regardless of his own cowardice that could prevent him from doing so at any time.

and there’s the thing about k/acx: ive already seen a bunch of people going somewhere along the lines of disbelief, anger, frustration on how keith is getting het endgame but when i saw the episodes, his interactions with acxa didn’t even seem borderline romantic to me at all? to me, i merely saw 2 characters actually getting on better terms with each other and returning the favor. the two no longer see each other as enemies but allies now. keith only went back to save acxa because it seemed like he believed that he felt in debt to acxa for trying to save his team. ezor and zethrid merely poked fun at acxa, but if you consider previous seasons where acxa and keith interacted, the two just continued to return the favor of owing whatever debt they had for each other. it didn’t seem like there was any romantic tension intended in any of the scenes where they interacted. we already know acxa betrayed ezor and zethrid by switching sides, and if you were betrayed you’re bound to make at least a remark on whoever betrayed you either way. in this case, ezor and zethrid found it reasonable to make a comment on acxa’s alliance with keith, hence how they teased acxa possibly crushing on keith (whether or not thats actually confirmed, its just left ambiguous and up for interpretation at that point). there’s the parallel with how they animated the shot between keith and acxa talking to each other, but neither did that one seem romantic to me? i hope im not the only one who thought that? the other scene people talked about was when acxa is in the same scene where keith was present when he visits his dad’s grave with krolia. i dont get why some people were upset about that either. even though its at the last ep of s7, there’s nothing to imply that keith invited acxa to go visit his dad’s grave with him or anything if you consider their placement in the scene. if keith did care about acxa’s presence being there when he visited the grave, wouldn’t he at least acknowledge acxa’s presence by showing obvious attention to her, or have her close to where him and krolia were? she remains distant but respectful of keith in the scene. i dont see where these scenes would imply keith automatically finds a romantic interest in acxa. acxa to keith? maybe, we don’t entirely know. keith to acxa? i dont see it being implied anywhere at all. not to mention keith’s “can’t we just fight” statement right after ezor and zethrid teased acxa about having a romantic interest in keith. again, its just my take on what’s being presented and my own thoughts on how people are viewing it.

and with a/l, it leaves me on a bad note with how its progressing if its really getting the sealed deal endgame. like most people have been saying, it would be good for them to be endgame if they were only written better. am i entirely convinced theyre endgame? not really because there’s that small chance where vld pulls a 180 and the show creators stay true to their words on lance not being a rebound, lance being someone’s first choice, lance getting what he needs, not what he wants. what’s being given/presented so far is just bad writing with how allura suddenly reciprocates feelings for lance out of nowhere despite showing consistent disinterest in lance’s advances in previous seasons. s4 and onward we see her seeing lance more than just an annoying flirt, and the two become better friends who could genuinely talk to each other without having allura annoyed with lance’s flirtatious antics, and without lance being reduced to a constant flirt. during allura’s interest in lotor, we’re yet again presented how allura doesn’t return feelings for lance, especially during the scene when the mice told her about lance’s feelings for her back in s6. she seems rather disappointed, pitiful, or uncomfortable with knowing how lance genuinely liked her when she liked lotor during that time. later on, allura’s been out of her previous love interest with lotor, and hasn’t shown returned much of the same interest in lance. sure, she hugged lance and he returned the hug, but that only seemed necessary in the moment for when allura had felt betrayed by someone she wholeheartedly trusted and fell in love with. she needed comfort from someone and the person she spoke to was lance who was able to lend her some comforting words. but that was about it. i’d like to say that considering that this is a kids show, it does give a bad incentive for children to develop on believing that if they continue to force their feelings onto someone else, the person they’re interested in will eventually like them back out of the blue, which is the worst course of action to take despite being rejected countless times (and its kind of being shown with what a/l has right now). to take this kind of scenario and to fix/put it with good writing would to just properly depict lance accepting rejection and allura staying true to her previous feelings on not reciprocating his feelings. in a general sense, we all know that we can’t always get what we want, and that’s an important moral that always gets taught over and over again even if youre a child or an adult. rejection and acceptance of the rejection is something that can be taught here through the romantic subplot they’ve been having. just deciding that they should become endgame out of nowhere would leave the writing very dull. having allura get out of her previous love interest with lotor only to quickly move onto lance just doesn’t leave off on a good note. it just reduces lance to a rebound and that’s about it.

the writing for me wasn’t really that breathtaking, overwhelming, or emotional or anything when it came to new plot points being presented (you know, all the fight scenes, galaxy garrison, that stuff). again, a lot of things seemed pretty rushed, i had mixed feelings for some but not all episodes. it was nice to see mostly everyone united back with their families and characters developing new motives for what they believe in doing. yet, the writing kind of just wasn’t on the level of where it actually gets me really interested and invested into the storyline like how it had back in s1 to early s3. i’ll still mention how the writing did it’s part in presenting development for hunk, though. i enjoyed that a lot.

some parts of the writing were questionable, some parts of the season were enjoyable, but it wasn’t entirely overwhelmingly disappointing for me. the season was on the bare minimum on having the writing go “decent”, but again it felt pretty “meh” and this is just my own feelings on it. people have their own opinions, frustrations, concerns, questions, some people loved it, some people severely hated it or just felt extremely disappointed.

the season has its peaks and lows, some pros and cons, but whatever you take from it is what you believe.

i’ll still keep watching the show to see how it ends, that’s for sure.

#voltron #vld #voltron spoilers #voltron s7 spoilers

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squiddoodle · 6 years ago

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@lezzyharpy.....you blocked me but i’m going to reply cause your apprently 26..... And I can’t not address this cause fuck my brain.

-good fucking g-d how the fuck do you take “you cant claime to defend us while simultaneously mocking our beliefs” as a challenge. how are you misreading shit this badly - um well that’s not all of what you said. Like i’ve never heard an atheist say religious beliefs are children’s stories but I have heard them say they are fiction, comforting stories, fairytales/ myths... but anyone who thinks all religous stories are kiddish....really lets their kids read some violent stuff. And you claim believing that makes us antisemitic. Your saying not agreeing with you and thinking what your doing is a waste of time so personally want none of it , and not just you but all religion but “you do you” is insulting and mocking you!? You’re claiming that is being antisemic. There’s a huge diffrance between “ fine soccer a boring, pointless waste of my time and I have no interest in it and this is why but I can see you enjoy it and get fafillment out of it so go ahead i’ll cheer for you and be happy for you” vs “I hate everyone who plays soccer I think their the devil and we should ban soccer and beat up soccer fans. I think soccer is a illness. I think they are disgusting and not like us/ i’m going to sit back and let other people say and do that to soccer and soccer fans.” Also your acting like we think we’re better than you because we don’t belive in it.....largely....no... we are just AWARE we have unprovable things we like to belive that make us feel better and we know we could be wrong about everything we think we know, we are open to being proven wrong on facts and scientific proof would prove us wrong ..... that is litrally the soul diffrances. I don’t judge all my religious friends just one ones who think they are better than everyone else and are “at war” with everyone not as ““Enlighten as them” because of that religion. Your mocking atheist for acting like “Ohwiseones” and yet when I was religious and not the most mockly self righteous people I’ve known have all been religious. You mock us for acting like the “o wise one Knowing better” and yet that is the bases of every damn religion! “you are the chosen none dilousional ones god has taught better than silly unbelieving fools” ....and you are litrally talking to me like your all knowing and i’m dumb filth....

( for the record what was acturlly said v)

- if we ask that you not mock our beliefs that is not….. even remotely the same thing as saying you must have the same beliefs as us-

right it shouldn’t be but your making out it is. because apprently unless we act like you know better than us or likely that myth is equal to fact or agree that spending endless hour of your time and most your thought process worshipping a god that no one can prove exist and belive that this one specific book is full of wisdom truth and sense and agree that his rules are good and he is good you know just cause “he” says so in his book , unless we agree that that sounds like a good use of anyone’s time, and is the healthiest way to deal with life and nothing bad ever comes from it and none of it is asking you to belive some really bizarre unproven things and think that there couldn’t possibly be another way, or we’re just not honest about it and never express our view point ever about anything religious, then we’re antisemites ......that’s how the logic your putting here comes across.

-how are you this fucking dense - ... litrally insulting me... but ok: Or maybe apprently you don’t know what you��re implying?

are you really gonna ask how you were insulting while you compared us to dogs? -

.......ok first off you know that’s a well known saying/metaphor right? If I said “you’re look a gift horse in the mouth” you haven’t litrally done that ether and your gift is not litrally a horse or being compared to one. Second I “compared” us both to dogs...and i’m not a Jew....I was also a dog in that situation! ....or at least that’s how I was picturing it: one dog barking up the tree the other laying in the grass chilling watching out....a metaphor is not me acturlly saying we are dogs🤦‍♀️.....do you not understand sayings? ok without the saying, what I was saying is: from where I am stood I think your using a lot of time on effort on somthing that’s not real and to me it seems a bit silly but i respect that it makes sense to you, so long as no one really gets hurt, I’m not going to judge you or stop you, i’m just going to mind my own business but be ready to go after anyone who does judge you or try to stop you......so yeah that really wasn’t a insult but apprently you want to stretch for them so...

- and yea i brought up jews specifically cuz im jewish you dipshit, and as for your “oh woe is me how could i have possibly known”…

your reading comprehension is fucking pathetic-

ok first off again the only one throwing insults here is you, the only one calling an actual person names is again you. The only one not trying to understand the other persons point of view or why they said somthing is you. Second you listed “Jews, Muslims and minority faiths” and then use “our”..... grammatically that means yeah you’re likely at least one of those, but it doesn’t specify which. Also I wasn’t ...“woe is me”...ing... i really don’t know where you got that level of drama and victim playing from. I just didn’t want to assume, I had figured you probally where Jew but you could just be a Muslim who cared more about Jews them themselves, or another majority faith, 🤷‍♀️ Hell you could even be a troll pretending to be a Jew, I litrally don’t know you so I have no idea who you really are and have to take your word on stuff just like you do me. And you didn’t fully clarify so I didn’t just assume. And all i’m saying is funny how quickly your dropped your “defence” of Muslims and other faiths and how your not answering my questions about how you view other faiths and beliefs.

-take a fucking step back, reread the original post, and consider what it is about a jew asking that people not mock our beliefs while claiming to support us that made you feel so fucking targeted, and while youre at it, question why you think a call to not mock our beliefs is a call that everyone must hold our beliefs. if you wanna talk about projection youve got some serious fucking introspection to do first-

here’s the thing, it wasn’t that part, alone, as you are declaring it now. Cause by the rest of what you said i’m pretty sure your not talking about things like insulting charactures and stereotyping of Jews right? Your not talking about someone crashing a religous ceremony or mocking it, or laughing at /ripping off your religious clothing ,or Phyically trashing your book ,or visiting your temple and violating the rules or yelling their own views and how stupid everything is during the sermon, or telling you Jews are demons (or somthing not human and insulting) ,or Acturlly picking on you for being a Jew or any stuff like that? Cause yeah ok those are mocking and insulting, gross and deeply disrespectful,. That would be a horrific way to treat you and I’m not defending any of that, I would want to punch anyone who did those or alike to you. Heck I would even defend you if someone outwardly called you dumb just for believing in the possibly of a god because who fucking knows, nothing in life is 100% certain other than we here and we’ll die.

But that’s not on the lines of the exarmples you have, which to me seem very dramatised and exsadrated anyway. But by the rest of what you said i’m betting you’re talking about people saying stuff like “ i’m not gonna lie I think it’s kind of daft that you think snakes could litrally talk but if that’s what you want to do ok” or “ok I think it’s kind of silly to waste your life trying to please someone you don’t even really know is there but it’s your life” and “ you know there’s a good chance you only belive what you do cause you where brought up to” ...and those aren’t mocking you they’re disagreeing with you and expressing a diffrent point of view. They might be hard to hear but that doesn’t make them insults, it doesn’t mean that person thinks less of you! over all i, and i’m pretty sure most on the left, would never really mock you only express our own point of view of things, we might mock and insult you back if you first mock us or try to convert us and won’t take our no and reasoning for an answer, cause your being really fucking rude then. But if you say your going to the temple most of us we’ll say” ok have a nice time” and mean it! if you say you need to pray about somthing we’ll say “ok cool go ahead” and mean it!( though some might Be uncomfortable depending on context Ei if your just going to pray away cancer and not get treated), if you ask us if you can pray for us or somthing most of us will be cool with that but we’ll be honest about how we view religion too and we’re not going to agree that everything in your religion is wise, super healthy and sensible, we not going to lie and tell you we think any of it is true . We don’t think religions are true, at best to us it is a heavily myth based self written history you want to belive in, but if it brings you a sense of fulfilment then we won’t judge you we’ll support your right to belive and practise that because we all have our things like that; so please tell me what is insulting, mocking and wrong with that?! Religous people often belive i’m ether a demon tricked fool or some rebelling monster who wants to sin and deny god so I can wallow in my evilness.....now those are pretty insulting, but when religous people just think what I belive is dumb and wrong 🤷‍♀️ Cool we deeply disagree but ok. It’s not insulting, sure I might agrue why I have that view ,but they just don’t agree on my view of things. and if you find that insulting or mocking then logically you just have a problem with anyone who doesn’t 100% agree with you

-but you can do that introspection on your own, im not in the mood to continuously coddle you assholes while you stumble fecklessly through learning basic decency, so learn that shit behind a block- again the only one throwing insults or being “undecent” to anyone is you. The only one belittling here is you. And blocking helps nothing but ok i’m still going to write this reply cause your sense of logic bugs the crap out of me. Have fun thinking anyone who dosen’t think religion is truthful and pumped with wisdom is antisemic .....I really hope you get my point some day though cause thinking that way can’t feel good. i have litrally 0 hate or hosititly towards you,or any Jews for being active Jews, or your faith or your right to practise it in any land, so on, and that goes for all religions. but you can keep being mad at me cause you think people who think organised religions are largely a scam,or the old books are more myth than fact, hates you or thinks less of you and has a problem with you or your faith existing .....really don’t but 🤷‍♀️ i’ll still help you stand for your rights against those who acturlly do hate you and are hostile towards you and your right to faith.

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