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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Changed

*not my gif

Summary: Spencer gets out of jail and reunites with Y/N but is afraid he has changed too much.

Warnings: crying, angst, mentions of prison, mentions of injury (very minor)

words: 2.4 K

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Gn!Reader

A/N: its been a while so I thought I would write a single chapter thing to please the people. if anyone has any cool ideas for another single or even a multichap lmk, I would be happy to oblige.

*I do not own any CM characters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I scurried around Spencer and I’s apartment hastily grabbing his old satchel and tossing a jacket into it. Even since he left for prison this was the only bag I would use, no matter how many things I had to carry I would only use his satchel. It was just a way for me to be with him even if I couldn’t really be with him. The first visit anyone from the team had with him he made them promise that they wouldn't let me go see him. He said he would call me when he could, and he did, or tried too, but after a week the calls stopped. JJ assured me that he was okay, she continued to see him once a week and would always call me and update me every chance she got, but it just wasn't enough. I needed to see him.

So today, I woke up. I called the prison to let them know I would be visiting, and I packed up to leave. I was more nervous today than I was on the day he was put in there. That day I was so confident that he would be fine, I thought it was a cut and dry thing and he would be home for dinner that night, but he wasn't. Just as I put my hand on the doorknob to leave I heard a ring come from my phone inside Spencer's satchel. I looked down at it to see a picture of JJ holding Henry lighting up my screen in the dark of my apartment.

“JJ, hi, I was about to call you actually, well sort of, i'm on my way to see Spence and I know he didn't want me to come, but I think I have a way to get him out of there and I just need to be the one to tell him you know?”

She was silent on the other end for a second before taking a very deep breath.

“Y/N, he's here.”

“What do you mean he's here, are you at the prison?”

“No, Y/N, he’s at the BAU, he's been out for a day”

Right away my mind went to all sorts of places I knew it shouldn't.

“Why didn't anyone tell me! What, does he not want to see me! Is he even okay?” I was screaming into the phone even though I knew it wasn't fair to her. Whatever this was, it wasn't JJ’s fault.

“Hey, hey! Don't go there, it wasn't like that I promise. As soon as we got him out we had to throw him into a case, he wanted to call you I promise but, Y/N, it was about Cat.”

“He was out for less than a day and that bitch tried to take him away from me again? Where is he, he couldn't have called me?”

“It wasn't just about Cat, it was about his mom, listen she's fine now, everything’s okay, but I need you to come get him from the BAU. he needs you to take him home. He needs you”

“I’m on my way”

It was those last three words that got me out of my head. Who was I to be angry at him when poor Spence had gone through so much. Still with his satchel on my shoulder I finally left our small apartment. Barely moved into before he was taken from me so abruptly. It just wasn't fair, the universe had it out for him I swear, first his mom gets sick, and then when he goes to help her he’s almost killed, and then he was convicted for something we all know he would never in a million years do, he won't even tell me what happened in there because it was so bad, and then he finally gets out, unbeknownst to me, is thrown into a case before he can even call, has to go back to that horrible women who tears him apart. Even just thinking about it makes me cry for him. He didn't deserve any of it.

I wipe a few stray tears from my eyes as I step into the car and put his satchel on the passenger's side of the car. I look up at the picture of him I placed on the console and place it back in my bag, ever so ready to replace it with the real thing.

“I'm coming Spence”

~~~~~~~~~

The drive from our apartment to the BAU is particularly long, but it seemed even shorter to me this time. Maybe I was speeding, who knows, but I was almost surprised when suddenly I found myself in the parking garage outside of their buildings, as if my brain had decided it wasn’t important to focus on driving when there was something more important to come.

I grabbed the brown satchel and threw it on my shoulder before running into the elevator and frantically pressing the level six button repeatedly. Spencer's voice in my head chuckled, you know that wont make it go faster, right? He's so close. I couldn't help the tears that started to fall again as I took shaky breaths to calm myself. I didn't know what sort of pain he was in right now, and it wouldn't be fair of me to make him have to take care of me. I wiped them off again as the elevator stopped on floor six. I waited impatiently for the doors to open and tears started again no matter how hard I wanted them to stop. And then the doors opened.

It was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. He had obviously heard the elevator ding and began walking towards it as the doors were opening slowly. So when, finally, the doors were opened all the way he was facing me, battered and bruised and opening up the glass doors I had seen him behind many times before. I was frozen as I looked at him. He was there, he was my Spencer but, different. I took one step out of the elevator before I just stopped breathing all together,. He walked toward me still with the whole team behind him, sorry looks on their faces. I finally unfroze and ran the distance to him, throwing myself into his arms. It startled him and he flinched but wrapped his arms around me automatically.

“It's you,” I said in between sobs and he nestled his head into my neck.

“Its me”

I continued to cry as he held me. When I finally lifted my head from his shoulder I looked at his team, who were staring lovingly back at me. I looked at all of them and mouthed; thank you, before pulling back from Spencer to kiss him. His lips were chapped and mine were salty. But the love that he put into that kiss was more than I had ever felt from him. When we finally broke apart I clung to him as we walked into the elevator. The entire interaction was about ten minutes, all of which were just me crying as he held me. Ten minutes seemed like a lifetime to me.

In the elevator he was silent. He looked down at the floor, obviously deep in thought and I just started at him. The more I looked the more worried I became. For each second I looked at him I saw one more cut, one more bruise, one more scar that wasn't there the last time I saw him. Even though he didn't look up at me or even speak at all, he put a hand on the crook of my elbow like he always used to and held it tight for the entire walk back to the car. He still had a slight limp from the incident last week. It served as yet another reminder to me that the Spencer I’m with right now is not the same Spencer that i knew before.

The drive home again felt short. He never spoke and neither did I, but I could feel his gaze on me as I drove, just trying to tell if I was really there. When we made it up the stairs to our apartment door he stood behind me and stared at the door. When I opened it with my keys and held it open for him he shook his head quickly as if trying to wake himself up from something and then finally walked inside. Every move he made was like he was afraid of hurting himself or me.

“Go sit, i'll make you something to eat”

I wasn't going to say it for fear of sounding like a grandmother, but he looked very thin. I mean I love my string bean boyfriend don't get me wrong, but this wasn't healthy.

I reheated him some Rossi pasta leftovers that I knew he would love before placing it in front of him at the counter. I sat on a stool beside him and got a comb to work through his hair. He ate tentatively but seemed to relax as I brushed through his hair. The comb did nothing so eventually I just worked my fingers through his curly locks, trying to bring more comfort than fix it.

That entire night we didn't speak at all. Well, he didn't. Every once in a while I would talk to him, just one sided things, i'll go clean up, why don't you get changed, let’s go to bed. And finally when we laid in bed I moved all the way onto his side and tried to have as much of me touching him as possible. He touched my back carefully, like he was afraid of breaking me. Eventually I fell asleep, but I don't know if he ever did. At some point I suppose he must have because he woke me up screaming. Rocking himself back and forth with glassy eyes and heaving.

“Spence? Spencer, you're okay! Look at me hey,-” I moved so that I was sitting in front of him but was careful not to touch him.

“You're okay, i'm right here, it’s okay” the screaming stopped but the glassy look in his eyes stayed and he still cried and rocked back and forth. He looked so..pained. After he had stopped screaming I placed a tentative hand on his arm careful to do it slowly so I wouldn't startle him. He flinched and looked at me with terrified eyes.

“Don’t, please, don’t.” I took my hand away but started to cry.

“Spencer, you aren't going to hurt me, it's okay.” he shook his head and looked almost angry through his tears.

“You don't. You don't know that.” so that's what this was about.

“Of course I do. I know you, and you would never hurt me, I know that.” I was crying but trying to keep myself calm so i wouldn't startle him.

“Do you know what I did today?” he raised his voice a little and his eyebrows pulled together.

“Did JJ tell you that she had to pull me off of Cat?” i could feel my heart breaking into pieces, he wasn't just scared of hurting me for nothing, he had actually hurt someone.

“Did she tell you that I put my hands around her neck and shoved her against a wall? Did she tell you that I wanted to- no, that I would have killed her. If she wasn’t there to pull me off I would have killed someone. Did she tell you that?”

I sat there in shock not knowing what to say. She hadn't told me.

“Spencer you had good reason, anyone who’s been through what you have would-”

“Would what? Kill someone?”

“Spencer I know you wouldn't hurt me!”

“No, you don’t! Prison changed me, Y/N, i'm not the person you loved anymore!”

“Don't you dare say that! I love you Spencer! I love you now and I loved you then, you are the same person that I loved!”

“No. no i’m not. The Spencer that you fell in love with would never have done that. Would never have done this.”

He gestured to me, we were both crying fervently, covered in salty tears and snot. I was still sitting in front of him on the bed.

“Don't tell me that it didn't change me. It did. It did change me.”

“Fine. it changed you. It also changed me. And you know how it changed us both?” I looked him dead in the eyes and placed a hand on his cheek wiping away a few tears.

“It made you more compassionate. More observant. It made you even more.. You. and it only made me love this new you more. So yes, yes it changed you, but that doesn’t mean I don't love you, that doesn't mean you are suddenly less deserving of love! I love you Spencer Reid, and I won't stop doing that just because you went through hell! You got out! And I am here! So why don't you just shut up and let me love you!”

He was silent for a couple of minutes after. We had both stopped crying. He placed a hand on my cheek just like mine was on his and looked me in the eyes with a small smile.

“Well, what's that for” I was still crying a little but when I heard him chuckle it took all of my tears away.

“Well, you told me to shut up and let you love me, so that's what I'm doing.”

he laughed a little, but bit his lip after he said it, trying to make himself stop laughing. But as soon as he said it I started laughing. The both of us laughed at each other. Snot covered and torn apart, but somehow still laughing.

“You know, I threw a book today” he laughed and pulled me into his chest where I looked up at him.

“A book? My goodness, maybe you aren't the same man after all!” I laughed at him and he shook his head as he smiled down at me.

“Nah, same man, I felt really bad afterword and made Garcia order another copy”

We both laughed and he kissed the top of my head. He slid down so we were both laying down in bed again. After a few minutes I noticed that his breathing was slow and steady. He was asleep. Peacefully asleep. I looked at him from his chest and with a small tear on my face kissed him on the cheek.

“I love you Spencer Reid. Always”

#spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #gn!reader #oneshot #Criminal Minds #david rossi #jj #Jennifer Jareau #prison #angst #fluff #spencer reid fluff

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Color Synonyms

White

also: pale; blanched; sallow; pallid; waxen; spectral; translucent; albino;

Grey

also: dust; stone; pepper;

Black

also: coal; slate; dusky; ebon; shadow; murky;

Tan

also: flesh; khaki; cream; tawny;

Brown

also: henna; russet; sepia; chestnut; cocoa; drab; bronze;

Red

also: terracotta ; rouge; carmine; fire-engine; ruddy

Orange

also: pumpkin ; rust ;

Yellow

also: sunny; amber; saffron; hay; straw; platinum;

Green

also: viridescent; grass; jade; forest;

Blue

also: turquoise; cyan; ultramarine; royal; aqua; aquamarine;

Purple

also: berry; amaranthine;

Pink

also: flushed; candy; cherry blossom; petal pink ;

—– source: http://ingridsundberg.com/

—–additional synonyms added by me

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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The Three Rules

Rule #1, Rule #2, Rule #3

*not my gif

Summary: Spencer and F!Reader get engaged shortly before tragedy strikes

Warnings: explosion, crying, alcohol, angst, hospitals

Pairing: Spencer Reid x F!reader

words: 3.7 K

A/N: last part in this mini series, but let me know if you want me to make more like this!

*i do not own any CM characters.

~~~~~~~

Rule #3: never leave the other completely alone.

Spencer~

It was paperwork day at the BAU and the bullpen was starting to empty out as the day came to a close. That is, except for our team. Hotch told us that if we stayed late to finish all of the paperwork he would not only join us for our weekly family dinner at Rossi’s, but he would also sing with the karaoke machine, and that offer was just too good for any of us to pass up. Morgan stood and walked over to my desk where I was hunched over the files that laid in front of me.

“Pretty boy, please tell me it's happening tonight”

I nervously looked over my shoulder to see Y/N over at the coffee station across the room staring intently at two boxes of tea.

“Morgan, could you keep your voice down! She's right there!”

“Oh, calm down pretty boy, she has no idea!” he sat on the corner of my desk and proceeded to talk, though thankfully a little quieter.

“If you do it tonight it will be perfect, trust me! The whole family will be there and it will be beautiful, and we can help you out, and set up the atmosphere and it will be perfect! You have to do it tonight.”

“Do what tonight?” I could hear Y/N’s voice from behind me and I swear my heart stopped. Luckily Morgan is much better at covering things up than I am, so he took the chance to get me out of the hole I was in.

“Karaoke, I’m trying to convince your lover boy that he has to sing with me at Rossi’s tonight!” Y/N chuckled and handed me a mug before taking a seat on my lap.

“Ohh, trust me on this one Morgan, Spence may be a genus, but singing is not his forte.” Morgan laughed and I looked up at her with a pout.

“Really? I thought you loved my voice!” She laughed and shook her head at me while Morgan got up from my desk and walked back to his. I heard Hotch’s door open from above us and he walked down the stairs briskly.

“Well, it looks like we’ve done all we can for the night” He gestured to where Y/N sat on my lap with a small smile. Garcia walked in the bullpen from the back dancing her way over to Morgan.

“You know what that means my sculpted dancing king” he laughed and took her hand to swirl her around.

“It's party time!” Rossi came out from his office at the last second and we all quickly gathered our things agreeing to meet up at his mansion after a quick stop at our own houses to get changed.

Y/N~

As soon as Spencer and I got into our car to head home I noticed something was wrong. Usually he is only quiet on the way to work, but never on the way home. I even attempted to get him in a party mood by playing some bops from my phone, but still nothing, not even a crack of a smile when I sang horribly on purpose. On top of all that he was biting his lip. He only does that when he's nervous about something or if he's thinking, and I could hear the high whine from his IQ from the driver's seat that told me he was deep in thought. We finally arrived at our apartment and without saying a word we moved around the small place quickly, attempting to change into our party clothes. I threw on a dress that JJ had got me for my birthday and called Spencer over to me for help.

“Hey Spence?”

“Zipper?” I laughed as he made his way into the bathroom and smiled as he saw me. He slowly put one hand on my waist and the other on my back tracing the zipper line. Eventually, and very slowly, he brought the zipper up my back, moving his hand from my waist to slide my hair over my shoulder. He smiled at me in the mirror and spun me around to kiss me.

“You look beautiful”

“Thank you my handsome prince” I laughed and he took a deep breath before grabbing my hand and leading me from the bathroom.

“You ready?”

“Yup, you?” He gave me a little panicked look that I'm not sure was on purpose but then nodded frantically, trying to cover up his nervousness that seemed to come from nowhere. This time in the car he drove and played Brahms the whole way to Rossi’s. I saw him continue to bite his lip as he put one hand in his pocket and fiddled with something in it over and over again. Finally I got fed up with the silence and grabbed his free hand.

“Hey, are you okay? You seem a little nervous today.” he put his hand on my thigh and nodded.

“Yeah, I'm fine , I promise, just paperwork days you know?” I raised my eyebrows at him wanting a further explanation but he either chose to ignore me, or didn’t see as he went back to his silence and pulled into the driveway of Rossi’s house.

Spencer~

I knew she would notice my nervousness, that was inevitable, but I didn't quite think through how I was going to play that off. I saw from her face that she did not believe me one bit in the car, but now the time was coming closer and I wouldn't have to hide it at all from her anymore. We walked hand in hand up to the door and stepped inside to loud music and the sound of laughter coming from his enormous living room.

“Yayyyy! The lovebirds are here!” Garcia ran up to us with open arms and hugged the two of us before Morgan dragged her back.

“Lets slow down a little there babygirl” Y/N and I both laughed at what had become the usual weekly occurrence at Rossi’s team/family dinners. Next, Emily came up to us with a glass of wine in each hand. Y/N reached her hand out for one but Emily pulled it back.

“Mmmmmmmm, nope. These are for me now.” She slurred slightly and Y/N raised her eyebrows.

“Em, how much have you had to drink?” she put her glasses down and pointed at Rossi who was preparing food in the kitchen. He looked back and chuckled.

“An impressive amount I'd say” he replied and Emily smiled back at the both of us.

“Beautiful dress by the way” she moved on to Y/N as she began to walk away and JJ shouted from the corner.

“I did that! I knew it would be pretty on you!”

“Thanks JJ, you were very right” Y/N responded and took my hand to guide me to the dinner table outside with the rest of them.

As the dinner came to an end Hotch stood up from the table and raised his empty glass to us all.

“I just want to say, thank you all for making me come tonight, I don't regret it one bit. And now for the second half of my promise to you all…” we all got excited as we knew what came next.

“Karaoke and dance time is now in session!” We all cheered and got up to set up the dance floor in Rossi’s yard. After all of us had equally embarrassed ourselves with the karaoke machine we moved onto the dance floor and the mood became peaceful as we all grabbed a partner and danced slowly to whatever Garcia thought was fitting. Derek and Garcia both looked over at me where I was swaying slowly with Y/N and nodded their heads before Garcia got up to change the song. She put on Y/N’s favorite slow song and moved back to Derek as we began dancing.

“I love this song” Y/N lifted her head off of my chest sleepily and I smiled at her before taking her hand to dance. The nervousness that I had felt before went away completely as I looked at her serene face. I extended my arm to twirl her around and as she spun in a slow circle I dropped to one knee and waited for her to turn back around.

Y/N~

Spencer spun me in a slow circle and as I faced away from him for just a split second I felt my arm lower. I turned around to find him kneeling on the ground in front of me.

“A-are you okay?” I took his hand worriedly and the rest of the BAU team chuckled at me as they watched. Spencer laughed and squeezed my hand.

“I am now.” there was a moment's pause before he continued.

“When I first met you, I knew instantly that everything I thought I knew about love was wrong. And you made sure to tell me that when we first started dating. You got me through the hardest time of my life, saw me at my lowest and my darkest and never failed to see the light in me. Every day that I wake up to see you laying next to me is a blessing and I could never imagine my life without you” we were both crying and all our teammates around us were teary eyed.

“I promise you that I will always be by your side. So, Y/N, will you marry me?” I dropped to my knees weakly and sobbed as I threw my hands around his neck and cried into his shoulder.

“So, is that a yes?” I nodded into his neck and lifted my head for a moment.

“Yes, that a yes you idiot!” the team around us laughed and he slipped the thin ring onto my finger and helped me stand up before pulling me into a warm kiss.

Spencer ~

The next morning I woke up again with her in my arms. I smiled as I fondly remembered the events of last night and how we danced after I slid the ring on her finger. She grumbled something in her sleep and turned onto her stomach, reaching her neck out so that she could put her head on my chest. I heard my phone ring on the table and quickly reached out to it so that she wouldn't wake up.

“Hey Hotch, whats up?”

“I'm sorry to do this today of all days but we need both of you at the tarmac ASAP.”

“Alright, we’ll be there in 20” I hung up and slid her off of my chest as I went around the apartment getting everything together. After everything was ready to go I slid her into my arms and carried her along with all of our things into the car. As I set her down she shifted in her seat but remained asleep. We arrived at the jet quickly and while she still slept I picked her and all of our things up and carried them onto the jet.

“Pretty boy what are you-”

“Hey, shh! She's still asleep, be quiet” I whisper screamed at Morgan and they all smiled and chuckled at me as I delicately placed her on the couch and took a seat by her feet so that she could still feel me near her. The jet ride was short and by the time Y/N woke up on the jet-very confused and slightly angry that I did all of that while she was asleep- we had arrived at the police station. We only spent a few minutes there however because Hotch sent us all out into the neighborhood to do group canvassing. I was paired up with Morgan but Y/N and Emily were on the same street, canvasing the other side so that every house was covered. Morgan walked a little behind me as I walked up onto the porch of a white house and knocked at the door. I heard Morgan say something behind me and I turned the handle of the door. Suddenly as if in slow motion I realized what he had said and pushed him backwards only a moment too late.

Y/N~

Emily and I were in the living room of the house across from Spencer and Morgan when we heard the explosion. The thing about explosions like this is that the sound becomes very distorted and is almost impossible to tell where it has come from unless you wait for the rubble to clear. When you enter the academy everyone has to go through bomb training. We all get a little bit of it even if the field we are going into doesn’t deal with them often. They always tell you in those workshops to pay attention more to what you see than what you hear, especially if you are close to, or within range of the bomb. The thing is, neither of my senses would help me. The only sound I could hear was my own scream as I ran toward Spencer, and the only thing I could see was Emily as she jumped in front of me, preventing me from leaving the house.

“Emily you need to let me go!” I screamed at her and fought against her arms.

“Look at me! Look at me! You know we can't go out there! We have to wait! We have to wait!” I knew she was right but Spencer was out there. If I didn't know where he was, if I didn't know where the bomb was, how was i supposed to stay put. I continued to fight against her as she held me back in the doorway.

“Spencer! No Emily let me go! Spencer!” my screams only got louder as she held me back with a horrified look in her eyes. Eventually we heard the sirens. When they stopped, signifying that they had arrived, Emily finally let go of me, allowing me to spring out of her hold and throw open the door in front of me. Only I wish I hadn't. I wish she had held on for a minute longer. What I saw when I opened that door was exactly the worst I could have imagined. I saw Derek, bleeding and stumbling around in the wreckage. But worst of all I saw the firemen and medics pulling Spencer’s limp body out from the rubble. Emily stood beside me as I realized I had stopped moving. She called out to Derek and ran to him as the medics took Spencer into an ambulance. I unfroze myself and ran towards where they were taking him only to be stopped again by Emily.

“Emily, I need to be with him!” I had tunnel vision and felt myself diving into panic. Derek walked beside me with a limp and looked me in the eyes with an expression I had never seen on his face.

“Y/N, you don't want to see him like that.” it was too late anyways. They had already started to drive away with him. I crumbled to the ground sobbing and ignored the blood on my hands and arms from the sharp glass digging into me. Emily sadly picked me up and walked me to a car. we drove towards Spencer in a haze and in that haze, I didn't even realize how I turned the new ring on my finger. Hoping. Praying that the man who gave it to me was still alive.

Spencer~

When I came to, all of my senses were altered. I don't really know if I could call it being conscious other than the fact that there was a ringing in my head so intense I could feel pain. But that's really the only sense that was intact. I almost wish it wasn't. The pain was so bad it clouded all of my other senses and made them useless. I didn't know where I was or what had happened. All I knew was that I hurt, and I needed it to stop. The only thing that comforted me was that my thoughts never stopped. It's weird to have to focus on the fact that my mind was still working. But it was, at least in that one way. I could still order my thoughts. I could still picture things in my brain like the image of Y/N in that dress. Or that time last week when Emily brought in donuts and her face was covered in white powder. Or the other week when she went over to JJ’s house for dinner and she held Micheal the entire time on her lap so that JJ could eat. Rule #3 of how we keep sane while working together is that we never leave the other alone. I remember why we made this rule as I lay wherever I lay picturing her face on the night we made these three rules. It was the same night that I had told her about Tobias Hankle. It was the same night she told me about a time when she was alone as well. We both had trauma. We both knew what it felt like to be alone. Completely and utterly alone. Like there was no one in the world who would even notice that you were drowning. But she noticed. She saw me drowning and reached a hand out to pull me up. It's because of her that I’m alive today. Or am I? The thing about the brain is that It’s so complex that we don't really know what happens when someone is dead, or unconscious. When humans are awake we only use 10% of our brains. But the funny thing is, when we are unconscious there is 80-90% of our brain that becomes suddenly available. And yet somehow, with all of that extra brainpower, I still can only think of one thing. One person.

Y/N~

When The doctors finally came to find me heaving and sobbing in the waiting room, they turned to Emily and Derek before me. JJ was beside me, a hand on my back trying to translate to me what they were saying.

“He's out of surgery now, and we’re hopeful, but there was a lot of bleeding”

“When will he wake up?” Emily and Derek continued the conversation as I stayed shell shocked in my chair.

“Well- i’m sorry, is that his fiancé?” she stopped before answering the question and gestured over to me. Derek nodded and the doctor came over to me and knelt at my feet.

“I'm very sorry about what happened to him. I know that this can be hard to understand but-”

“You still haven't answered the question” I looked up with red and puffy eyes.

“I know this is hard, but we need you to understand that it's not about when it's about if.” She proceeded to try and explain to me the extent of the damage that was done to his brain but saw that clearly I was not interested in hearing it, so she turned back to a nurse and told them to take me to his room.

Spencer~

For days all I could do was hear. My eyes stayed shut and the pain continued. The ringing had started to subside just enough that I could even hear the quieter sounds from around the room I was in. Sometimes if Y/N fell asleep in the chair beside my bed I could hear her breathing, which calmed me. But mostly I heard her cries. The team came everyday, but she was the only one allowed to stay overnight. When they came at first they would try to cheer her up, bring her treats and coffee and attempt to convince her to eat something. But after about a week I think they started to lose faith in me. She didn't. She never did. The doctors and the team would come in and try to talk to her. They all tried to tell her that she needed to prepare herself. That maybe it was time. She never did. She fought for me. Every day. Today, the team came one by one, stopping by and trying to get her to eat, and leaving when she refused. She cried more than usual today, and I could feel her faith in me start to slip. But I also knew she wouldn't have to wait much longer. I knew a fair share of what was happening to me and I knew that once the ringing went away, more than likely I would wake up. And today, the ringing was barely a whisper. Out of nowhere it seemed she spoke to me.

“Spencer I love you.” With a shaky breath she continued.

“I need you to hear these vows just in case. Because even if you don't make it, I want you to know what I'm going to say on our wedding day, no matter how long I have to wait for it. The day that I told you my story I remember how quiet your apartment felt to me. For what felt like the first time in my life, the silence was because you listened. You held my hand and listened to me like no one ever had before. More than just listening to me, you believed me. When I showed you my scars you kissed each one of them and told me that I was beautiful. No one had ever done that before. For every problem that I helped you solve, you helped me solve ten, and I will be forever grateful that I got to see your beautiful mind first hand. The only regret that I have is that you've left me alone” her voice stopped and she placed her head on my chest before continuing.

“You promised me you would never leave my side”

Y/N~

I cried on his chest and paused before saying it again

“You promised me i would never be alone!” there was a moment of silence before his hand came up on my back and I froze.

“And you never will be”

~~~~~~~

Back.

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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The Three Rules

*not my gif

Rule #1, Rule #2

Summary: Spencer X F!reader work through exhaustion and frustration while on a case.

warnings: swearing (med), throwing things?, death (not main, not graphic, but mentioned), cm style issues, thats it i think???

Pairing: Spencer Reid X F!reader

words: 4.6K (shes big)

A/N: I keep making these soooo long, so, sorry. this one is a little darker than the rest but ends in fluff per usual and has a little bit of funny Emily and funny Garcia

*I do not own any CM characters

~~~~~~~~~~

Rule #2: Always offer comfort and support

Y/N ~

Spencer and I finally moved in together about a month after the last incident. And he was right, it was more efficient.

“We gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go!” I waited by our front door and Spencer ran around the apartment looking for his keys.

“I know I put them in the bowl”

“Spencer! I have keys, it's fine, let's go, lover boy!” He laughed and checked the ceramic bowl on the counter one last time before giving up.

“Okay, one last check. Coffee?”

“Check” I held up the two large cups in my hands.

“Go bags, check” he held up both of our bags on his shoulders.

“And keys, ½ so, good enough”

We arrived at the tarmac fifteen minutes earlier than usual...but still 10 minutes late.

Spencer~

I took both of our bags and stashed them in the jet with the others before taking my seat beside Y/N on the couch. As per usual the first teasing began from Morgan when I sat down and he saw that my shirt was buttoned wrong and my hair was noticeably more disheveled than usual.

“Oooh, looks like a lover boy had a very good morning!” I glared at him as I rebuttoned my shirt and JJ immediately took action.

“Morgan, don’t make me put you in time out” He put his hands up in a mock defense.

“Im sorry mom!” Rossi laughed before handing me my paper file and Y/N her I-pad.

“Milwaukee again, they've got a child murderer.” The once light mood from the teasing had gone away in an instant as we all opened up our files to see the pictures.

“That's an annihilator” My first thought was to take Y/N's hand, offering a little support for her and comfort for myself through a small touch. She took my hand gladly and gave it a little squeeze.

“An overly sadistic one too” Morgans brow furrowed as we continued to review the case but with perfect timing Garcia's face popped up on the screen.

“I have a present for you” We all looked at her with puzzled expressions through the screen.

“Look under your seats!” she began with her best impression of a talk show host and we all fumbled about to find bedazzled gun holsters for each of us with all of our names in special large gems of our favorite colors.

“Wow, thanks Garcia that's- that’s really thoughtful of you!” Emily tried and failed to contain her laughter as we all looked over to see Hotch replacing his leather belt holster with the bedazzled one from Garcia. He stood up to show her and got close to the camera.

“I’d say I look pretty badass.” He said it with a deadpan look on his face and then put his gun in it and sat back down without saying another word. JJ and Y/N looked at each other for a split second before bursting out in uncontrollable laughter. Like always, if one person on the team laughs, the rest of us can't help but join in. I always like to say it's because of Y/N. Her laugh is just one of those laughs that radiates all over and lights up a room.

Once we could breathe again we all thanked Garcia and she hung up with a big smile on her face. Now on to Milwaukee.

Y/N~

When we landed Hotch sent Spencer and I to the first crime scene together. Whenever possible on hard cases he likes to keep the two of us together because we work better that way. There is just something about the little touches during a hard case that keeps me going. And for this one, I was definitely going to need that.

“Poor JJ” As we walked around the crime scene looking at all of the damage done Spencer and I talked through whatever came to mind.

“What do you mean?” I love him so much. But he's absolutely clueless.

“I mean, her and Hotch both. I can't imagine doing cases like this when you have a kid of your own back home. It must be terrifying” he nodded in silence before crouching down in the corner of the little boys room.

“Do you ever consider it?” I continued talking to him even though I know we are here to work. Sometimes that's my biggest flaw. I don't shut up easily.

“Consider what?”

“You know. Having baby geniuses one day?” I gave him a curious little smile as I waited for his response and continued writing little notes about the crime scene in my phone.

“Well i mean yeah, of course. But I'm not the one who'd be carrying them for 9 months am I?” I laughed at him and nodded before stopping altogether.

“Them?” He gave me a mischievous smile back and said nothing.

“Fine then, keep your secrets”

We finished up at the crime scene and then headed back to the police station where the rest of the team was waiting for our report. Hotch and JJ look notably defeated and Rossi, Emily, and Derek just looked downright exhausted. Sometimes our work takes its toll rather quickly, especially when it's a very emotional case. Seeing a parent sob so horrifically after you give them the news is never easy. It's draining.

“So, what was the scene like?” Rossi spoke up from where he was standing in the corner.

“It was carnage. Absolute carnage”

“How are the parents?” I looked at JJ who out of all of us definitely looked the most defeated.

“They’re acting like anyone else would. They’re distraught.” I grabbed Spencer's arm and held it tight as we talked about the profile. The more we talked the worse everyone looked. Garcia called mid profile and even her voice sounded exhausted. But we all knew that we wouldn't rest until we caught him.

Spencer~

None of us slept that night. None of us even left the precinct that night. A few times while we waited for more information or for someone to come in for an interview we would take turns napping on two chairs we wedged together to form a bed in the conference room. I tried that once, but I could barely fit my torso in them so I decided I would have better luck with the floor instead.

“Spence, you want a snack?”

“They got pretzels?” I looked up from my napping position on the floor to look at Y/N when she stood over me with a few quarters in her hand.

“Yeah, i'll be right back” She walked away for a moment and came back with two cups of coffee and two bags of pretzels.

She plopped both of them on my chest and crumbled to the floor beside me.

“Dinner is served” I chuckled and took a swig of coffee- overly sugared just how I like it- and then ate a single pretzel before Morgan came running into the room.

“A boy was just kidnapped”

In a panic we all rushed up from our various positions and walked out into the main room of the precinct. I went straight for Hotch who was on the phone talking angrily.

“They put out an amber?” he blocked one end of the phone before turning to me.

“Not yet, get JJ on that please” I nodded and started to walk over to where JJ was napping.

“And Reid, get Y/N to talk to the parents, JJ’s done enough” I nodded solemnly.

We all have to do parent notifications and walkthroughs sometimes, but JJ does them the most. Every once in a while we make someone other than her do it to give her a well deserved break. Out of all of the things that we do, notifying the families is one of the hardest.

“JJ, another boy has been taken, Hotch needs you to put out the amber.” I shook her shoulder and she woke quickly.

“Me? I should be with the family, have Garcia do it.” I looked her straight in the eyes and shook my head.

“We got this one, you deserve a break” she said nothing but got up from her chairs and walked over to the computer to start on the alert.

“Y/N, baby, Hotch wants you with the families” she was still sitting on the floor where our coffees sat mostly untouched.

“Oh, um, okay, let's go then” I put a hand on her thigh.

“He wants me here. Will you be okay alone?”

“Oh. yeah, i'll be fine i have the keys anyways” She looked uneasy but neither of us had any choice in the matter. I gave her a chaste kiss on the top of her head and she grabbed my hand for just a second.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, i’ll be okay”

I subconsciously noticed the way she indirectly answered my question. It was her way of saying, no i’m not okay, but go do what you do. I kissed her hand in mine and walked out of the room going to help Derek and Hotch deliver the profile while the rest of the team was dispatched to separate locations. It's going to be a long night.

Y/N~

By the time I arrived at the families house it was nearing morning and the sun was starting to rise. There were cops all around and in their house which I quickly told to go. Right now, being here is not going to do that boy any good. Only one stayed to guard outside of the house, and me, of course, being the current family liaison. One of the problems with being the liaison with the family of an abductee is that after you make the initial connection with them, you don't get to stop being their liaison until the unsub is caught. That meant hours of being by myself in their house hearing the mother and father cry over the loss of their child. That meant almost never sleeping, or eating. And worst of all, that meant being without Spencers comforting touch and encouragement.

“Hi, I’m Agent Y/L/N, I'm the FBI agent assigned to your family.” They were sitting on the couch in the living room, their son’s toys covering the coffee table in front of them. The mother was crying soundlessly, almost catatonic, the father on the other hand was silent. He bounced his knee relentlessly and had no tears on his face.

“Would you mind if I ask you a few questions about Danny?”

The mother stayed quiet but the father looked up from his hands to speak.

“Do you think my son’s dead?”

Danny's mother withdrew her hand from her husbands and covered her mouth as she let out a sob.

“At this point we don't know much. But, i’m not here to lie to you, if this is connected to the other abductions then more than likely, yes”

The father still didn't cry, but instead just nodded his head solemnly.

I asked them all the questions I could. Where did Danny go to school? Is there anyone he liked to hang out with? Do you know anyone who would want to hurt Danny? Some of them were real questions that needed answers. But for the most part they were just to get a sense of the parents, and to make them feel a little less helpless. Spencer always says to me that the best thing you can do for these families sometimes is just to make them feel like they can help. Usually they cant, but sometimes taking their mind off of their own thoughts and focusing them can bring out little bits of information we never knew would be helpful. The morning came and went. I had a single orange and a cup of coffee that day. The night came and still, no news. I checked my phone constantly, even though I knew that my ringer was on. If they found Danny, alive or dead, I would be the first person they call. But until then, all I could do was wait.

Spencer~

Throughout the entire day I felt worried and distracted. Not just because I knew that the inevitable was close, but because usually, the team works in pairs. I deny it all the time, but I always work better when there is someone else with me. Not necessarily working with me- because I prefer to work alone- but just there. Someone who will remind me to slow down and take a deep breath or just let me talk out loud to them even though I probably won't listen to a word they say. But here I was, standing in front of a map, all alone, getting more and more frustrated by the moment and having not a single one of my teammates to get me back on track.

“Hello?” I finally took out my phone and called Y/N to get an update. On her that is, not the case.

“Hey, it's me, i'm just calling to see how you're doing” she sighed and I could practically see her rubbing a hand on the back of her neck and adjusting her glasses like she always does when she's stressed.

“That bad huh?”

“Yeah, not great. How's the map coming”

“It's not” this time it was my turn to sign into the phone.

“The the rest of the team is all out doing recon so i'm at a bit of a loss here”

“Oh, I'm sorry. Look Spence, I really shouldn't be on the phone, so-”

“Oh yeah, no I get it, of course.” She hung up without a word of goodbye and let me feel somehow even more frustrated than when our conversation began. I know she didn't mean to be condescending. I know she's just as frustrated as I am. But that doesn’t help me at the moment. After about another hour of waiting the rest of the team (minus Y/N) walked back into the precinct with downtrodden faces.

“We just found the body, kid” Morgan walked over to me and then sat down in a chair at the conference table. My heart broke. For once I was glad I wasn't with them today.

“Did you get a positive ID?” I turned to Rossi this time who stood next me looking at the map.

“Yeah. it's him”

Y/N~

I sat wide awake on the couch as it neared midnight. My phone lit up in the dark room with a call from Hotch.

“What's the news?”

“We just got a positive ID on Danny's body” I was silent.

“After you inform the parents I need you back at the precinct” I was shocked.

“Hotch, they still are going to need a liaison, my work isn't done yet”

“Y/N, their child is dead. There is nothing more that you can do for them”

“Fine, i'll be back as soon as I can” I hung up the phone angrily and gingerly knocked on the bedroom door, knowing that this moment would alter their lives forever.

I opened up the door to the conference room to find everyone sitting in chairs around the table. They all gave me sympathetic looks and Spencer tried to reach his arm out to me which I denied. I’m a profiler, I know what healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms look like. I know that pulling away from anyone and everyone is not a good coping mechanism, but none of them were there with me. None of them saw the look of terror on his mother's face when I knocked on her door in the middle of the night. None of them heard her screams or saw her crumple to the ground in her son's room, holding his pillow like it was all that was keeping her anchored.

I sat down on a chair in the corner of the room as we went through the profile and barely said a word. I saw Spencer looking back at me worried a few times while we gave the profile to the police and again as I went back into the corner of the conference room, still pulling away when he tried to grab my arm. Once everyone had gone back to researching or calling or going door to door, Spencer walked over to my chair in the corner. He put his hands on the arms of the chair and squatted down directly in front of me. Still being careful not to touch me, he tried to look me in the eyes but I averted them.

“Y/N, you should go to the hotel”

“Are you going to the hotel?”

“No but-”

“Don't tell me that I need it more than you. Or that I've had a harder time than you! We are all struggling, we all need sleep! I can handle this Spencer!” He flinched a little when I started to raise my voice but still stayed in his position. Hotch and Rossi upon hearing me raise my voice walked back into the room and over to Spencer.

“Y/N, Spencer's right, you need to get some sleep.”

“Is that an order?” Hotch paused for a moment and looked at Rossi who nodded.

“Yes, i'll see you in the morning” I clenched my jaw and Spencer quickly moved out of the way to let me get out of the chair, but not before taking a firm hold of my arm.

“This is a good thing, don't be mad at us for trying to help you” I took my eyes off of the floor to glare at him.

“Spencer, if you value our relationship or your hand, let go of my arm and stop with your condescending bullshit”

Spencer~

After she left I think it's fair to say that my mood did not improve. My frustration about the case turned into overall frustration with myself and everyone who happened to be around me at the time. I stood in front of the map without moving for hours just looking and going through all different theories in my mind. I was no longer alone but at this point that didn't matter.

“Hey Spence, do you want any coffee?” JJ approached me cautiously and I silently shook my head.

“Okay, well, uh, let me know if you need anything” she walked away to the hall just outside of the conference room where Morgan and Emily were standing. I could hear Emily talk to her through the glass doors that separated us.

“So?” Emily probed JJ as soon as the doors closed behind her.

“No good, didn't even speak”

“I'm worried about him'' There was a hum of agreement between the three of them before Emily opened the doors and walked in. she approached me with less caution than JJ, but still with a little apprehension.

“Hey there, Spencer, do you need any help?” i didn't speak a word or even shake my head this time.

“You know I'm pretty good at mapping it so it happens. I could also help with a key if you want? Or alternatively you could just talk to me? Or look at me? No? Okay, well i'm going go get myself a cup of coffee from the diner down the street, if you decide to speak let me know”

She asked me question after question and still I didn’t speak or move. Finally after staying for a moment of hostile silence she walked out of the room to where JJ and Derek were waiting.

“So?” This time JJ asked Emily

“I asked him like five questions and he didn't even try and correct my grammar.”

They all paused in silence for a moment before Emily turned to Derek.

“Alright Morgan, your turn, good luck” she patted him on the back and he sighed before walking into the room even more hesitantly than JJ was the first time.

“Hey Reid, you know, we’re all here for you if you-”

I turned around very slowly with a deadpan stare.

“Morgan, as politely as I can say this, if you and the rest of the team don’t leave me the fuck alone then I am going to take all 187 points of my IQ and shove them, up your-”

“Woah, woah,woah, okay pretty boy, I get the message”

He turned and walked briskly out of the room. I turned back to my board but could hear JJ talking still from the hall.

“I'm worried, I've never seen him like this.”

“The only times he's ever been this frustrated we all know who got him out of it.” Emily stated and turned to Derek.

“I’ll see what I can do. Hey Rossi, let's take a drive”

Y/N~

I had slept for a few hours but the nightmares woke me up. It was morning now, so at least I know I got a little bit of sleep. I took a shower, got dressed, and sat on the edge of my bed, not quite ready to face the repercussions of what happened last night. I put my head in my hands as I remembered last nights events. I fucked up. Bad. After a few minutes I heard a knock on my hotel room door and got up from the bed to answer it. Rossi and Derek stood there with hands on their hips and worried looks on their faces.

“Can we come in?”

“Um, sure?” He said it as they had already walked in the room and I went back to sitting on the edge of my bed as they stood in front of me. Derek was the first to break the silence and he tore me away from where I was looking as I fiddled with my hands.

“Look, Pretty boy is in a bad place and you're the only one we know can get him out of it. If we want to catch this guy we need him, and to get him back on track we need you” he stopped and sighed.

“Well, I have been ordered to stay here, so I guess you'll have to talk to our supervisor about that” Rossi grimaced as I said it and pointed to him. He put his head down for a second and then took a seat on the bed next to me.

“Look kid, you were in a horrible place and I know that you know that. If you want to stop feeling helpless, If you want to get that boy the justice that he deserves, then we need your help. Spencer needs your help. You are the only person in the world that could help him right now, so I need you to suck up your pride, and come with us.”

I gulped and sighed before standing from the bed.

“Fine. But you both owe me a drink” They laughed and opened the door for me as we left the hotel.

When the three of us arrived at the precinct and walked into the main area by the vending machines we saw a group of officers crowding around the hallway to the conference room. I walked right up to JJ and Emily who were making their way through the crowd towards me. JJ was the first to speak over the low murmur of the people crowding the hallway.

“Hey, thank god you're here!” She sounded so relieved you would have thought I’d saved her life.

“Um thanks? What's going on?” After I spoke I heard a loud thud and a crash coming from inside the conference room and a few people backed up from the windows. Emily got really close to me as she spoke.

“Um, Spencer’s...throwing things” I cocked my head to the side and was about to ask what she meant when another object, a book i think, hit the window in front of me.

“Holy, shit” I said with conviction and without another word walked to the front of the crowd and opened the glass doors.

Spencer was facing away from me, but still throwing markers, and wherever he could get his hands on, at the window. Finally as he heard me approaching he stopped throwing things and put both of his palms to his forehead. As I got closer I could hear his heavy breathing and see the damage he had done. When I finally got close enough to his back I put one hand on his shoulder and the other on his arm gently. He flinched a little but didn't move away or try to get me off of him. I got on my tiptoes to whisper quietly into his ear.

“Spence, I love you and I'm sorry, but I need you to calm down right now because the team needs you. okay?” I kept my hands on him and heard him gulp in between his heavy breaths. After a minute his breathing started to slow a little.

“Good. I'm going to go get you a glass of water and i’ll be back in just a second” I took my hands off him and walked over to the door where JJ and Rossi were standing guard.

“JJ could you get me a glass of water?”

“Of course”

“Rossi, can you make everyone get away from the hallway and the window, there's too many people, I wont be able to get him to calm down if his senses are in a constant overdrive from the sounds” He nodded quickly as JJ came back with a glass of water in her hand. I took it from her and walked back into the room with Spencer as Rossi-with help from Hotch- started to disperse the crowd.

“Here, drink this” I guided him to a chair and he sat down to drink the glass. After a few sips I put my hand on his back and leaned forward so he could see my face fully.

“Okay, now I need you to tell me everything you know”

Spencer~

After a few minutes of drinking water I began to tell her about everything I knew for the location. At some point while we were talking I figured out where the unsub was and Morgan and Emily successfully got him and saved another young boy. As soon as he was processed we all decided that we wanted to leave as soon as possible, and not stay another second in that place. Even though it was the middle of the night Rossi was able to get the jet ready for us in an hour and we started the long flight home.

I looked In front of me on the couch where Y/N was snuggled into my side and rolled onto my back so she could place her head on my chest. Her eyes were closed but her breathing told me that she was still awake and while she was I wanted to make sure she heard one last thing before this treacherous trip was over.

“I never said thank you” She turned her head on my chest so that she could look at me, but in the dark and quiet of the jet, it was clear she couldn't really see me anyways.

“For what?”

“For what you did back there, I never said thank you, so… thank you” She smiled widely at me but kept her eyes closed in the dark.

“Well, thank you. For not making me feel like I was helpless” she opened her eyes when she said it and it made me smile broadly. I kissed her head and turned back on my side so that I could pull her close to me.

Rule #2, every little touch, every little word that she says brings me comfort whether she knows it, or not. I think that might have been the easiest rule to follow, after all, when you love someone just being around them is enough comfort.

~~~~~~~

Back. Next

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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🙏🏼saved me

Hello! I am a psych major, spencer reid lover and also occasional fic author and we all know that writing spencer reid always involves a lot of googling for facts and statistics for accurate characterization so this is my contribution to the cause. Below are themed masterlists of studies/statistics/research evidences from my final year syllabus that everyone can use as dialogue fillers or even prompts for Spencer Reid fics! The years of the study and the names of the researchers are also included (if they’re not then it’s not a study, but it’s still from my notes/textbooks). I’m currently trying to study for my final set of exams and so I will hopefully be able to put out a bunch of these over the next few weeks. Hope this helps! And if you use any in your fics please tag me I’d love to read them!

edition 1: dieting & obesity

more editions coming soon

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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The Three Rules

Rule #1

Summary: Spencer and F!bau!reader learn to trust each other during a difficult case.

warnings: swearing(mild), injury, angst, criminal minds style issues

Pairing: Spencer Reid x F!Reader Words: 4.2K

A/N: I took forever to get to the point on this one! the beginning is supper fluffy and the end has mostly angst with a little fluff. Part 2 will be up tomorrow! *I do not own any CM characters

~~~~~~~~~~

Rule #1: Trust in each other

A familiar buzzing enters my dream and wakes me. Both Spencer and I’s phones are buzzing loudly on the bedside table and I see him groggily move his hair from his eyes and pick his phone up.

“Hello?” His voice is low and scratchy but his eyes open a little more when he hears whoever is on the other end. Must be Hotch. I groan loudly and turn over to grab my own phone which has ceased its relentless buzzing. Three texts, all from JJ. we have a case, get to BAU ASAP. Well, there goes my weekend.

“Yeah she's here with me, might be a little late, have to drop by her apartment- yeah, yeah we’ll get there as soon as we can- no, don't wait up, we’ll meet you at the tarmac.”

He hung up his phone and placed it back on the table before rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I got the same text. How long have we got?” He reached a hand for mine and pulled me into him like we always do in the morning.

“Not long enough i’m afraid.” He placed a quick kiss on my forehead and then released me from his grip. We both rose from the bed and gathered our things. He quickly put on his work clothes while I just threw on a sweater of his and a pair of running shorts that I had brought with me. I would be sleeping on the jet anyways, It would be a long flight.

After a few minutes I stood in Spencer's kitchen grabbing his keys along with mine.

“Spence? Babe, we gotta go, where are you?” I walked around his small apartment to find him standing in front of his bathroom mirror struggling with his tie.

“I can't. It's always so crooked!” I chuckled and he turned from the mirror with a pout on his face.

“Alright, come here.” I continued laughing as he smiled at me and walked to where I stood in the doorway. As I fixed up his tie he snuck his hands around my waist and pulled me into a kiss.

“You know Y/N, we've been dating for six months and it would definitely save us both a lot of time if-”

He started to blush and I brought my arms up underneath his own, around his back so they rested on his shoulders.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” the creeping blush on his face increased ten fold.

“Well, I mean- yes- well, not if you don't want to- I mean it would definitely be easier for the both of us- but I mean if you think it's too fast- I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or- you can just say no-”

He stuttered during his rambles and stopped for long enough that I could kiss him with a big grin on my face.

“So, is that a yes?”

“Yes. Yes, that's a yes. I would love to move in with you Spencer Reid. But, we’re running late, so let's go”

With a big grin on his face I rushed him out the door with his go bag and satchel before driving the both of us over to my apartment. I dashed up the stairs to grab my own go bag and my work clothes before going right back down to the car.

Spencer~

I swear the smile that she manages to put on my face is something no one else can do. Even as she drove to the tarmac where the team was waiting, the car quiet with only her playlist going on in the background, she managed to light up my whole world. She was still wearing my sweater and a pair of her black running shorts. Her hair was in a messy bun on the very top of her head and she wore a pair of faded high tops on her feet. It didn't matter that we had been awake for a total of 20 minutes or that she had less than a minute to get ready, she was always the most beautiful girl in the world to me.

She parked in the lot next to JJ’s car and we both rushed out to where we saw the rest of the team loading up into the jet.

“About time lovebirds.” Morgan snickered when he saw us and ruffled my hair as I plopped into the seat beside him.

“Good morning to you too Morgan” I smiled and grabbed a case file from JJ’s outstretched hand.

I saw Y/N sit beside Emily on the other side of the jet and pretend to look into her case file while she said something to Emily. Emily quickly turned her head to look at me and then back to Y/N. A big smile spread across her face and she motioned JJ over to them who did just about the same thing.

“What do you think they talk about back there?” I looked up from my file and back to Morgan and Hotch.

“I think I have a pretty good idea” I smiled to myself and ignored Morgan's pleas to tell him. JJ will tell him as soon as we’ve been briefed I'm sure. But for now, I couldn't resist holding something over his head.

Y/N~

JJ briefed Spencer and I just as the jet began to take off. She took little glances at Spence while she briefed us, smiling broadly and not even bothering to try and hide it. Spence put a hand on my thigh mindlessly as we reviewed the case file. The comfort of having him so close to me made me tired all over again.

“Well, that's pretty much everything. I guess I’ll leave you two alone” JJ kept on smiling and walked across the jet over to Morgan and Hotch with Emily close behind her. I noticed Em pulled out her phone and Face Timed Garcia to tell her the news.

Spencer's hand was still resting on my thigh as he looked over his file. I took my hair out from its constraints and took my glasses off, placing a single earbud in, and leaned my head onto Spencer's shoulder. He smiled and put his file down on his lap taking his now free arm and wrapping it around me. I started to drift off just as I felt him take one hand around my back and the other under my knees. He lifted me up from my seat, being careful not to yank the earbud from my ear and placed me lying horizontally onto the jet's couch. He walked away for a moment after he set me down and I groaned at the loss of contract. Then, almost as fast as he had left, he was back, grabbing the king size blanket from my go bag and settling himself behind me on the couch, pulling me into his side, and putting the blanket around the both of us.

Spencer~

JJ shook my shoulder to wake me as the plane started to land. Y/N had already awoken and changed into her work clothes. She wore a pair of blue jeans with a tight red t-shirt and an FBI windbreaker, though still wearing her faded hightops as she always does. Hotch decided to send all of us to the precinct right away instead of splitting us up like we usually do. The case was personal for everyone at the precinct. Mainly because this killer was targeting law enforcement as their main victims. He tortured them and their family members and sent parts of them back to the precinct for all of their colleagues to find.

“Reid, Y/L/N, can I talk to you for a moment?” As soon as we walked in and set our things down I heard Hotch call our names.

“Oooh, someones in trouble” I swatted at Morgan and gave him a glare before waiting for Y/N and walking into an empty conference room with Hotch.

“Something wrong?” Y/N talked immediately while I opted to stay silent. Hotch almost never calls people out like this.

“No, not at all. I just wanted to warn you, two is all.”

“Warn us? About what?” Y/N continued to talk with him as I stood awkwardly beside her.

“Well, as I’m sure you both figured out the team told me that you are moving in together. I am happy for you both, I am. I just need to warn you not to let that excitement and emotion come through in the field.”

“Hotch, you know us, we’ve never let that happen before” I spoke this time letting Y/N take a break from this little tough love talk I'm sure we were about to receive.

“Of course. I know that, but this case is different. Our lives are at stake here as well. Even more so now that we are the highest authority here. I need you to be able to know that and still work this without any issues. So, be honest with me. Do you both think that you can do that?”

Without a second of hesitation we both responded.

“Yes.”

I would say that's one of the reasons our relationship works so well. We aren't just on the same page about each other, we also both know that we love our jobs, they are our whole lives, and we would give anything to do them together.

“Good. that's all, let's get to work”

Y/N~

Hotch left the room right away, giving Spencer and I one moment alone.

“We can do this right?” I looked at him, suddenly questioning what a moment ago I had said without hesitation.

“Hey, look at me.” I brought my head up to look him in his hazel eyes.

“We got this.”

I took a deep breath and squeezed his arm before walking from the room and continuing our work. If only I had known what was to come.

For the next week our entire team worked tirelessly to find the killer. While we worked five more people were killed. Two of them were children, three of them were parents, all of them were connected in some way to the same precinct where every day my team sat and worked. Every single death took an ever bigger toll than the ones before it. Day by day I could see everyone's spirits starting to break. I decided that was enough. I made a vow to myself that not one more person would be hurt by this man while I was here. And I kept my promise. Unbeknownst to Spencer or the rest of the team I devised my own plan to bring this man out into the open. It was risky, it was dangerous, and it was really, really, stupid. But it worked.

Spencer~

Three days after our arrival, the killer began to send notes to us. He knew us all by name. He knew our relationships, and our past, and things about us that we thought no one else knew. It was my job to decode the messages, respond, and draw whatever conclusions I could from the way he wrote. In the last message before everything went down I noticed something strange. Something that he didn't do in any of the other messages. He directed it only to Y/N, and not to anyone else. In every single other note that he sent to us he wrote all of our names on it. Making sure to put at least one personal detail about each of us in the note to show us that he was the one in control. He wanted us to feel like we were helpless. And in a way, we were.

“It just bothers me is all” Hotch had ordered all of us to go to the hotel for the night. Most of us hadn't slept in over thirty hours and we weren't going to be any good to anyone like that. I stood by the sink brushing my teeth and I tried to talk through my thoughts with Y/N.

“Spence, I know it's creepy, trust me. But i don’t think it's anything weird okay? I'm sure tomorrow he'll send a note that's only to you, or only to Hotch or something, I just happen to be the first in his pattern.”

“Well that's what bothers me! You know as well as I do that the first person in a pattern is always the most significant. No one starts a pattern without thinking about the first number in it more than the rest.”

I undid my tie and set it on the chair in the corner of our shared room. At that moment I knew something was wrong. There was no way she would brush off an idea of mine like that unless she definitely knew I was wrong. But she couldn't know I was wrong, could she?

Y/N~

It was time for me to act. Spencer was right, I wasn't the first in his new pattern for no reason. It was because I communicated with him. I gave him what he wanted. Me.

“Spence, I’m going to head to the precinct with JJ and Em okay?” He was laying face down in the bed still asleep. He had been awake and working even more than the rest of us so i decided to leave with some of the others and let him sleep in.

“Huh?” He groggily turned his head to the side to look at me and I pushed a curl out of his face.

“I'm leaving baby, you go back to sleep, it's all good” I gave him a final kiss on the back of his head and without a single word of protest he fell back asleep.

I felt horrible lying to him, but I couldn't put him in danger. I might be able to end this thing without putting anyone else in danger. I holster my gun and grab the keys for one of the SUV’s. I drove to the meeting spot. It was a house on the very outskirts of the town, pretty much in the desert. The house was decrepit and in major need of repair. I'm meeting a goddamn serial killer though so I guess that's to be expected. I stepped out of the car with my weapon in my hand. I called out but didn't really expect a response back, nor did I receive one. I tried the handle of the door to find that it was unlocked and swung it open with my foot so as to keep my weapon up. I heard a creak from the upper floor and immediately dashed up the rickety stairs to find him.

The way he looked into my eyes will haunt me forever. I looked into his dark eyes and saw nothing. Like there was no soul behind them. Rossi always says that that's the only similarity he has found in all of the serial killers he has interviewed. They are of different genders and races and from different parts of the world but the one thing they all have in common is the look in their eyes. You could stare at them for days and you would never see any glimmer of emotion in them.

In the short second that I was stunned by his presence he started to come toward me. I screamed to him,

“One more step and I shoot!” not that I really believed it. He obviously didn't either because he kept on walking in a straight line for me.

“Ha! Tsk, tsk, tsk. No you won't. Not when you don't know who I have”

I paused again. What could have been my final mistake. Who he had? He didn't have anyone. But that wasn't exactly a risk I was comfortable taking. He lunged for me and my gun flew from my hands in the struggle. He hit me more times than I could count. He held a knife in one hand but had yet to use it. I scrambled back towards the stairs and he followed. With still no soul in his eyes and a knife in one hand he slashed at me. I landed on the floor just before the stairs and he kicked me down them. The only thought before panic was pain. My mind was foggy but I managed to crawl a few feet and I took out my phone calling 911 as he walked calmly down the stairs behind me.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N, FBI badge number 2075778924 i need an ambulance, swat, and police, call SSA Aaron Hotchner.”

There was blood and a kick, and then I was out.

Spencer~

I woke to a knock on my hotel room door. I was still half asleep but I dragged myself from the bed and opened the door to find Emily and JJ waiting with worried looks.

“Hey guys, sorry i slept late, i thought you went to the-”

“Reid listen to me, Y/N's hurt and she’s with the unsub, Derek, Rossi, and Hotch are there now but-” I dashed back inside the room threw on my converse and grabbed my gun before running back to the door and out to the car with them just behind me.

“How bad was she hurt JJ?” I sat in the front with Emily driving as JJ was in the back trying still to talk to someone on the phone.

“I don't know, none of them are picking up” my eyes were wide and my heart was beating out of my chest as they started to explain to me what had happened while I had slept. As I slept she was being reckless. As I slept she lied to me. As I slept she was in danger.

Y/N~

I awoke with Derek standing over me and a very persistent pounding in my head.

“Did it work?”

“Yeah girl genius, it worked” Derek shook his head with a smirk and helped the EMT’s sit me up before walking outside. Hotch and Rossi walked over to where the EMT’s had taken me on the gurney and attempted to give me angry looks, but I could still tell that underneath them were just looks of relief. I shooed off someone trying to lift me into a gurney and instead hopped off one and walked over to an ambulance where I sat on the metal step.

“Y/L/N, that was reckless.”

“I know, Hotch, I’m sorry”

“I'm glad you're okay. Get cleaned up and we’ll talk about punishment later.” I nodded and thanked him before he walked off to help Morgan get the unsub into custody. Rossi, however, insisted on staying by my side until Spencer got here.

“I'm glad you're okay kid. But what you did was stupid. And trust me, I know stupid.”

I laughed and nodded to him.

“I know, I know. I just couldn't let anyone else get hurt.”

“Kid, we're a team. The point of a team is to tell us what you're thinking so we can help.” I stayed quiet as the EMT’s came over to examine me and start to stitch me up. Just as someone placed a bandage over a large gash on my forehead I heard a car pull up and several doors open and close. Spencer jumped out of the front seat and began to half jog with a crazy expression on his face over to me. Emily and JJ ran to him and just in front of him trying to stop him from whatever they thought he was about to do.

“What the hell were you thinking!” His pained angry scream took me by surprise. Spencer never raised his voice. Never.

“You put yourself in needless danger! For what? For glory? For pride?” He was closer to me now but he continued to scream. Emily and JJ were still alongside him, Em was almost in front of him trying to talk him down and obviously not succeeding. Every word he said was like a stab. As he finally reached where I was sitting in the ambulance Emily and JJ stopped trying to move in front of him and instead came to my side.

“Needless? This is what you call needless? Five people were killed, Spencer! You saw as well as I did how everyone was coping! I needed to do something! And It worked! I caught the bastard and I’m fine!”

When I first started speaking it was quiet and sad. But after a minute of seeing the anger in his eyes I began to raise my voice as well. All of the emotion from the past treacherous week came flooding out to him and by the last sentence I was screaming too.

He looked me dead in the eyes and Emily placed a hand on my back to comfort me as I was now crying unabashedly.

“I need you to trust me with things like this. None of this works if you don't trust me. We don't work if you don't trust me”

His voice broke and the look in his eyes turned from anger to a deep sense of pain and sadness. He turned around sharply and began to walk off.

“Spence! Spencer!”

I was crying as Emily looked over at me. I tried to stand up to follow him but was met by three sets of hands pushing back into a seated position.

“No, Y/N. I've got this one.”

JJ stood from her spot beside me and jumped down from the ambulance to walk towards Spencer. Em and Rossi stayed with me as I cried into my hands and after a few minutes Emily ushered the EMT’s back to me so that they could continue their work.

I looked over to where JJ had followed Spencer, by a big oak tree just within sight of me. They stood facing each other and I could see Spencer gesticulating wildly with his hands as JJ talked calmly and every once in a while motioned over to where I was sitting. She put a hand on his arm and I watched as his whole body tensed before he pulled back from her. She looked back at me for a second and said something to him before walking over to where Hotch and Morgan were waiting.

“He’ll come around, he's just hurt” Emily looked at me with sad eyes and I nodded. I kept my eyes trained on where Spencer was standing. Even though he was crying and so, so, very mad at me, he couldn't help but keep looking back at me every few seconds. Still trying to make sure that I was there.

“Agent Y/L/N, I’m sorry but your shoulder is going to have to be put back into place before we send you to the hospital.”

The voice tore me away from Spencer, and Emily took my hand and smiled at me.

“Um, okay. Do I need to do anything or…”

The pain radiating from all over my body made me unfocused and I trailed my sentence off.

“No but, it's going to hurt. A lot.”

“Great. Well, let's get this over with then” Em took my good hand to brace me and the EMT took the other one.

“Okay ready? One… two...and” just before “three” he rotated my arm and a loud pop told me it was back in place. That, and my scream of bloody murder.

Spencer~

I stood with my back to her but every few seconds I would look back. Just to be sure I guess. I wasn't even mad anymore. Other than at myself for yelling at her. I was just scared. Out of what seemed like nowhere I heard her scream out in pain. Not a sound that you like to hear when your girlfriend’s in an ambulance and you aren't even standing close to her. Without a second though I sprinted over to her in a panic to find her hyperventilating and her eyes wide in panic.

“S-spence- Im sorry- im so-so sorry” She was crying and all of her words were broken apart into little pieces. I right away sat down and pulled her into my lap, being as careful as I could to not disturb her bad arm.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I should have stayed with you and I do trust you, you know that” She sobbed into my chest and let out weak whimpers with each one. The pain in her voice broke my heart.

“Can you give her something? Anything?” I looked around but everyone shook their heads. So instead I just pulled her closer to me and tried my best to help her breathe.

“I-do-trust you-.”

“I know baby, I know you do, its okay”

I held her like that for an hour. The team all stayed with us and stood in a circle outside of the ambulance watching me hold her tight to me as she worked through the pain. Eventually the pain subsided, she was breathing normally again and could almost move without crying out.

“Hey Y/N, you know I’ll always love you right?”

“I know. I love you too”

And that was the real lesson of rule number one. It wasn't that we needed to trust each others skills, or jobs, or actions. We just needed to trust that we would always love each other. And that trust is the most important of all.

~~~~

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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The Three Rules

*he’s adorable...i didn’t make this gif but i wish i had that talent!

i will be posting a three part series about Reid X Reader and thought i would give a heads up and a small explanation.

Spencer and reader (F!BAU!reader!) have recently started dating and are exploring what boundaries need to be set when working in the field. These three rules are what keep them safe and sane while working with each other.

Rule #1: Trust in each others abilities

Rule #2: always offer comfort and support (but do not be condescending)

Rule #3: never leave the other completely alone.

Part one will be up later today with Rule #1 and i will post daily for the other two parts! don’t worry, its more interesting than my explanation may make it seem, i’m just bad at explaining things.

#spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #CM

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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Reblog if you write fanfic and would be totally down with your followers coming into you askbox and talking to you about your fic

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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Love Language

*not my Gif

*I do not own any CM characters

Summary: reader thinks about how their relationship with Spencer has evolved through touch!

Warnings: talk of past drug use, crying, angst i guess, but mostly fluff

word count: 2.2 K

A/N: this was pretty fun to write, it is mostly little flashback scenes and I love doing those. I did this after seeing @veraiconcos‘s writers challenge and thought that was super cool, all of her things are amazing so definitely check out her blog!

enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer Reid's love language was never touch. I suppose the burden of all his knowledge is knowing exactly the amount of germs passed by a single touch, and which of those germs are alive, and which could get him sick, and which sickness could take root, and, well you get the point. When I first started at the BAU Spencer still seemed to me like a shy little kid. We were the same age, I like to tell him at least once a day, I'm actually a full month older than him. I think that's one of the many reasons that him and I became friends so fast. My first friend was of course, JJ. After all she is very close in age to me and Spencer, and is one of the first contacts I had with the BAU. She told me before I had met any of the team, that Spencer was, well, different. She made sure to warn me that he doesn't mean anything by his little actions of avoidness. It's just his way of keeping himself safe. This I understood.

The first time I was formally introduced to the team was much before I joined. The interview process is understandably long, they need to know a person before just throwing them in. After all, these people spend more time together working cases then they do in their own homes. -

“Hi, i’m Y/N , the new agent here” I shook the hands of everyone on the team but Spencers, remembering what JJ had told me. To him I smiled and gave a little wave.

“The number of pathogens that can be passed from a-” Spencer after seeing me wave to him began to do just what I suspected. When confronted with an uncomfortable situation, he began to hide behind his wall of facts.

“It's actually much safer to kiss” I continued for him and the look on his face was priceless.

“Yeah, yes, exactly.” A rose colored blush crept up onto his cheeks as he smiled at me.

“Oh great, now there's two of them” Morgan laughed at us before JJ pulled them away for another case.

The first time I saw someone actually touch Reid was when they returned home from the Tobias Hankle case. It hurt me to see Spencer (now my friend of almost four months) so absolutely traumatized. He would never say this to me or anyone else for that matter, but even at the time he came home, he was still feeling the effects of the drugs he was given.-

“Here they come, here they come” Anderson walked over to me as the team approached the glass doors of the BAU. I was surprised to see that Spencer was with them. I had assumed they would have taken him straight home, or maybe to the hospital.

“Welcome back, I'm glad you're alive, Reid,” he barely opened his eyes and nodded at me before sitting down in his desk chair. I waved JJ over to me.

“How bad?” she sighed and gave me the classic worried mom look we always tease her for.

“Very. I didn't think I would ever see him like this”

“Im so sorry JJ. do you think he’ll be okay?”

“Honestly, I don't know, but i'm going to drive him home, maybe if i'm lucky I can convince him to let me take him to the hospital. I'll call you, okay?”

It worried me even more to know that JJ too, was aware of how badly he was hurt. She turned her back to me and grabbed her coat from her office before going to Spencer's desk. From where I was standing I could just barely make out what she was saying.

“Spence, come on, let's get you out of here”

“JJ I have paperwork to do” he sounded dazed, like he wasn't really sure where he was.

“Its okay Spence, I’m sure Morgan wouldn't mind a few extra”

She gingerly took the files from his hand and helped him sling his satchel over his shoulder. Then, it happened. As they walked out of the room he stumbled. Just a little. Barely enough for anyone else to notice, but I was watching the two of them so carefully as they left I couldn't help but take an involuntary step towards them. JJ took a firm hold of his arm, and put her other free hand on his back. I could see him flinch for just a second, and then, his body relaxed into her and he let her guide him from the room.

After that night I became a full member of the team. Spencer didn't take any time off. He never went to the hospital, although Penn, JJ, and I tried countless times to get him to. After that night when he let JJ help him, when he let her touch him, he never seemed to be overly bothered by a handshake every once and awhile. The first time I touched him was still a while after that, I think my 15th case in the field. -

“Spencer it wasn't your fault.” He looked at me through his black rimmed glasses with a sad and blank expression.

“Then why would he address it to me?” this whole case I knew something was wrong. After Gideon had not shown the first time, JJ told me that he had resigned, but at that point Spence still hadn't told anyone about the letter.

“Because he knew that you needed to hear the news from him. Not from JJ, or me, or Hotch, or anyone else. There's nothing you could have done to convince him to stay Spence, he's even more stubborn than you are”

I paused to observe him in the dark silence of the jet. I brought my hand to his arm tentatively but when he relaxed and seemed comfortable with the touch, I gave it a little squeeze and smiled at him. -

Now, after Gideon had left I knew it. I had a crush on Spencer Reid. This came as no surprise at all to JJ or Penelope, but to me, it was quite the shock. He had now become comfortable with the little touches of assurance that I gave him often. More comfortable even than with JJ or Morgan. Sometimes I noticed he would even reciprocate the gesture. When he noticed I was tired or stressed or just having a bad day, he would put a hand on the crook of my elbow and give it a little squeeze. Just like I did that night on the jet. To other people this seems like nothing. But to me, and to him as well, this was everything.

When Spencer stayed in Vegas to investigate his father, JJ left. JJ as Spence and I’s best friend, is always a source of comfort and a safe haven in the stormy darkness that is our lives. When she left she pulled me aside away from Spencer and put a hand on her swollen belly. -

“ Y/N , I need to take care of Spence for me, okay?” I chuckled.

“JJ, of course, what do you think I’m here to do?” she looked at me with a deadpan stare.

“That's not what I mean. You know what was happening with him after Tobias right?” I nodded, the memories of his mood flashes, and anger, and sadness all coming to the forefront of my mind.

“he‘s going to need you to make sure that he doesn’t do anything stupid. Not Morgan, not Rossi, not Hotch, you. You are the only person on this team- in this world-. That he trusts right now. And you are the only person that could talk him off of that ledge.”

“I promise, JJ. I’ll keep him safe” She nodded at me but the worried expression on her face remained. -

JJ was worried for good reason as it turned out. I kept a close eye on Spencer as we looked into his past. The boys were all there to focus on the case. To solve what was in front of them. I was there more to focus on Spencer. There was one night. The night after we found his father, something in my brain just told me it was not going to be a good night for him. There was something in the coloring of his face, the way his posture was collapsed and the circles around his eyes were so dark, it told me all that I needed to know. -

I walked out into the hallway of our hotel and stopped in front of Spencer's door. The others were all asleep, and it was nearing one in the morning. But something told me that he needed my help right now. JJ’s voice in the back of my head reminded me that I needed to help him, I was the only one who could help him. I knocked three times on his door softly. I waited a minute before knocking again, with a little more force, and I heard some shuffling in the room before the door opened.

“ Y/N? What are you doing?” I walked inside the room without an invitation and sat down on the foot of his bed. The sheets were undisturbed and he was still in his work clothes though the tie was draped over a chair in the corner and his shoes were by the door.

“Talk to me” I looked up from my hands and continued.

“I don't mean, about the case, or your dad. I mean about you. I need you to convince me that you are okay”

“Who says I'm not?” I rolled my eyes at him and gestured to the chair across from me.

“I do. And as one of your best friends, your closest colleague, and someone who likes you, a lot. I think that should mean something to you” the last part slipped out a little fast and completely without me thinking of the repercussions.

“You like me?” he gave a faint smile that I could only partially see in the dimly lit hotel room.

“Yes, but that's not the point right now, we’re talking about you not me '' I brushed off his comment but I couldn't help the smile and blush that came across on my face.

“Im struggling” his voice broke a little when he said it and it broke my heart to see him in such pain.

I walked over to the chair he was sitting in and pulled him up by the hand.

“I'm going to hug you now. Is that okay?”

His partial nod was good enough for me. -

I got him through that night. I talked him off the ledge that JJ had warned me of. And she was right. I was the only one who could have done that. When we came back from Las Vegas, although neither of us had said a word, something changed between us. We were more than just friends now, we both knew that, but beyond that, we weren't really sure what we were. He would call me when he needed someone to talk him down, I would call him when I needed someone to talk me down. I would show up at his apartment any hour of the day to help him, and I knew that he would do the same. One of those nights when it just so happened that the both of us needed a little talking down after a hard case, I drove myself over to his apartment to find him on the couch crying.

To see him crying was something that my tired, and broken heart couldn't take. I threw myself next to him on the couch and pulled him into a hug, no questions asked.

“I needed that.” I said as soon as I lifted my head from his shoulder.

“Me too” we were both still crying, but there was something about the atmosphere that had changed. We weren’t alone anymore. We spent hours like that, sitting there, my head on his shoulder, his arm around my back, not saying a word, just collecting ourselves as best we could. At some point in the night I looked over at the clock: 2:45 am

He looked to the clock as well and then over to me, and with a single tear streaming down his face he looked at me and said,

“If I asked you to stay, would you?” I wiped the tear from his cheek.

“You don't even need to ask” he brought both of his hands to my cheek and pulled me into what I think is the most passionate kiss I have ever received.

That night told us both what we had become. It was no longer little arm touches or calls in the middle of the night. It was waking up to him beside me, seeing his hair ruffled from sleep and his eyes clouded by exhaustion. It was the little worried kisses he gave me in the field and the little squeal of happiness that Penelope made when I told her we were moving in together.

When I first met Spencer I wondered to myself if he would ever be comfortable with touch. But now as his sleeping body lays next to me and instinctually pulls me in closer, I know that there was never any reason to worry. Because even before, when the most contact I would get was arm touches in the midst of a panic, it was enough. It helped me learn that although not everyone wants or shows grand gestures. There are other ways, sometimes even better ways to say, I love you.

#vicficwriterchallenge #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #reader #reader insert #spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #penelope #penelope garcia #jj #Jennifer Jareau #derek morgan #promt #challenge

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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Sooooo.... I just realized how long it’s been since I posted anything!

I’ll post a short story about Spencer x reader tomorrow and if anyone wants anything specific or has any idea lmk!!

But this gif is cute so enjoy that in the meantime!

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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Coming home

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Final

Summary: Spencer deals with the news he has received

Warnings: Anxiety, crying, panic, trauma, self harm, suicide, death (past), injury, stalking, swearing, angst

Pairing: Spencer Reid x OC

words: 1.6k

A/N: The final Part!!!! again this one is pretty dark, but not quite as difficult or long as the last one. I cried yall.

*I do not own any CM characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 10

Spencer~

I must have sat there in silence for at least five minutes. I kept my hand on her back and tried to keep my own breathing calm. I know it's cliche to say I never thought it would happen to me. But it's true. Even in my line of work, you never think it'll happen to you, until it does. I stared at the dirt beneath my feet and wondered what question to ask first. When I finally lifted my head, hers was down, refusing to meet my face.

“So, Ben?” It wasn't the first on my list, but I knew the story hadn't ended just yet. She only stopped it there because she was too afraid, and I knew that feeling all too well.

“He received an envelope the same as mine two weeks before he killed himself.” My brain switched modes as she spoke. I went from boyfriend to profiler before I could really stop myself. I mean, anyone would in that situation right? It can't just be a coincidence.

“Did you know that-”

“That he was going to kill himself? No. he sent me pictures of his envelope just like I did when we were in highschool. We talked on the phone hours before. I've talked to people on the edge before, I've talked people off the edge before. He wasn't planning it. That i'm sure about.”

I thought back to the first night she stayed at my apartment. Before we moved in together, I think it was after about a month of dating that she slept there for the first time. I remembered how guarded she was at first. How she would always wear something that went at least down to her knees. That first night she put on a sweater of mine and for the first time I saw her scars. Not just on her legs, but on her torso as well. Long intentional, surgical scars. I never asked.

“Soph, those scars, were they from-” she cut me off again, hearing me say it seemed to be too much for her.

“Some of them are from the surgeries. Some aren't” the pain in her voice was too much. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. What I would do if I could get my hands on the man that did this-

“Let me find him.” it came out before I even knew I wanted to say it.

Sophie~

I finally looked up.

“What?”

“Let me find the man who did this. Give me the word and I will have the whole team looking for him. Or just me, I don't care about who does it. Let me make sure that he can't take one more thing from you.”

The tears that I had just gotten to stop came back. I knew he would do that. I knew he would do anything to protect me. But to be honest, I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

“After all the lies that I've told to you? My best friend killed himself because of someone that only wanted to hurt me. How am I any better than he is?”

My lips trembled when I looked at Spencer. Even in all of the pain that he has been in, all of the emotions I'm sure he felt as I told him my story, he hadn’t cried. Not until now.

Spencer~

I had kept strong for her. As she first saw me, when she first heard me speak, when she told me of all that happened to her. But hearing her blame herself. Her pain was so evident. It broke my heart more than I knew was possible. I took my hand from her back and put it on her cheek so she had no choice but to look at me.

“You listen to me. This was not your fault, do you understand? You did not lie to me, you kept strong to protect me, to protect everyone! There was no way you could have known that after all this man had done to you he was going to hurt someone else! None of this is on you! I love you so, so, so much, and i'm so-” My voice cracked as I cried and trembled. “So sorry that you thought you had to do this alone. So please, please. Let me do this for you.”

She stayed quiet as she sobbed and trembled but finally nodded. She squeezed her eyes shut and I pulled her into me. I would die before letting anything else get to her.

__________

Eventually, after the both of us had laughed and wiped the snot and tears from each other's faces we hobbled back into the house where her sister was waiting.

“So?”

“I promise the both of you, I will find this man.”

She looked back at me and nodded before reaching out to Sophie and pulling her into a hug.

“Good, it's about time someone did.”

I walked to the couch and pulled my phone from the hospital bag before calling Garcia.

“Boy wonder! You don't text, you don't call! Where have you been!” her voice made me smile, she was always a little light in the darkness.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry, I've been dealing with a lot. Garcia I need you to do something for me,”

“Anything, what do you need?”

“Can you get the rest of the team on the phone?”

“Hah, can I, of course I can! Think who you're talking to. Hold please.” She paused and I heard several other lines connect.

“Alright and here we are, Reid everyones on the line now”

“Thanks Garcia. I need everyone's help.”

_________

(3 month time jump)

Sophie~

I waited anxiously on the large bed in Spencer and I’s room. My phone sat beside my leg and I nervously checked it every few seconds waiting for the call that could change my life.

Three months ago Spencer called his team and told them my story. He explained to them everything leading from when I was sixteen to the moment Spencer was shot. The team agreed to help the both of us and gathered as much information as they could. About one week ago Spencer got a call from Emily just after we had arrived back home in DC. -

“So?” I paced around our apartment anxiously as he set his phone down on the coffee table.

“They think they found him.” I stopped walking around right as the words came out of his mouth and gulped.

“Do you think-”

“It's him, Sophie. It's him”- And Spencer was right. It was him. They left that night for Maine. I fought and fought, trying to convince all of them, but in the end Spencer convinced me not to. -

“Spence you don’t understand! I have to go!”

“Look at me. I know how much this means to you, I do. You can not come with us. I can’t put you at risk like that!”

“Spencer the last time you were there you were shot! Five goddamn times!” He ran a hand through his hair and grabbed my hand from where he sat on the couch. He pulled me into his lap and looked me right in the eyes.

“I will get him, I promise. I will call you every hour and I will even stay with your sister if it means you don't come. Trust me, I want you with me every moment! But I want you alive more.”- So, I stayed. He kept his promise to me. He called me every hour and never once did I hear the dreaded dial tone. He stayed with my sister and her husband and kids, and every time he came home, Lu would send me a picture of him with my nieces and nephews. A couple of hours ago he called me, one of his hourly check-ins but the tone of his voice was different. He was trying to hide something from me. -

“Spencer what's going on?”

“Nothing I promise!”

“No, there's definitely something happening! What's going on Spence?”

“We found him.”

“Yeah, I know that, that's why you're in Maine, what do you mean?”

“No, Sophie, we found his house. He’s in custody right now.” My heart stopped for a moment.

“Soph? You there?”

“Im here, i’m here”

“All we need now is a confession. Emily and JJ are working on him right now.” - He reassured me that he was okay, and said he would call me soon. He texted me at his next check-in saying he was fine but that he needed to work on the confession, that he would call me when they got it, when they were leaving. And just like that my phone rang. I almost fell off of the edge of the bed to grab it, dropping my phone in the process.

“Spence?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me babe”

“So?” My heart rate sped up and I felt light headed

“We got it Soph.” I cried and put a hand on my chest. Years of pain. Years of being paranoid. Years of never seeing my family out of fear that it would hurt them. Years of thinking that my best friend's death was my fault. And just like that, the man who caused all of it. All of my pain and my fear and my panic and my trauma and my scars. Just like that, it's gone.

“Sophie are you still there?”

“yeah, yeah, im here, sorry, it's just-”

“I know, I know. It’s okay now” I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me.

“Sophie, I'm coming home”

With three words he saved me. With three words he made all of my fear for him worth it. He made every second worth it. He made coming home worth it.

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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Sooooo, last chapter is going to be suuuper long and is taking me forever to write, i promise it will be up by tomorrow night, but i’m going to be done for today, my friends, Sorry!

#coming home #Spencerreid #spencer reid #goodnight

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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Coming Home

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Summary: While Spencer recovers at OC’s old home, she is forced to tell what happened to her there.

Warnings: Anxiety, Trauma, Injury, hit and run, stalking, swearing, angst, panic, suicide (past)

pairing: Spencer Reid X OC

Words: 2K

A/N: this ones suuuuper dark people, i’m not gonna lie. Its longer than usual because I am hoping to finish this series with the next chapter! If criminal minds style plots trigger you I wouldn’t recommend this chapter is pretty dark.

*I do not own any CM characters

~~~~~~~~

Part 9

Spencer~

For the days that we stayed in her house, I never once saw a sign in her parents, or even her sister for that matter, that would tell me about what happened to her here. Not that I was looking so hard. It’s difficult sometimes, to keep myself from looking at all the little moves people make. It's difficult to not immediately think the worst of everyone around me after all of the horrible parts of humanity that I’ve seen. I had been in situations similar to hers before. I knew the pain of thinking that your trauma is something for only you to handle. The terrifying feeling that maybe it won't go away, thinking constantly that I’m just a burden. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone, especially not anyone I love as much as her.

I looked up from my seat at the counter to where Sophie and her sister were talking in hushed voices. Every once in a while I would see the both of them look at the pictures adorning the walls of the house. At some of them they would give a faint smile, while at others a small grimace. I heard little bits of their conversations sometimes, slowly putting together what I missed.

“We promised not to talk about-”

“Well we also said we wouldn't-”

“Have you seen-”

“No, I assumed they were-”

It was that moment, that I'm sure of. The moment none of them would speak of. Something that not only made the three siblings closer than ever, but also more afraid of losing one another than they ever had been. Something big enough to scare two of three of them out of the state the same year, to never come back. Something so terrifying to all of them that they would never even talk about it.

Sophie~

Spencer sat at my kitchen counter slowly eating the soup I had made for him the previous night. Lu and I were in the doorway to the living room talking as quietly as we could.

“If you would just tell him we wouldn’t have to-”

“No, not yet, I don’t want to have to bring him into this!”

We were talking about that night. The night that the three of us would keep guarded forever. Less than two months after that night I left for college and never came back. That is, until now. I knew I had to tell Spencer. I was waiting until we could go home. When I wasn't here anymore, then maybe, but it seemed that we wouldn't be leaving for at least another week. I didn't want to keep dodging his questions. But the fact of the matter is, not only does this change everything for him, but for me as well. And I am notoriously bad with change. After keeping this to myself for all these years, the prospect of telling someone else terrified me. Even if that person was Spencer.

“Sophie, I love you, you know that. We both know what happened wasn't our fault. But not telling him doesn't make it go away. You have to do it. Staying here without him knowing just puts him and you more at risk than ever.”

Spencer~

Now that, I heard. Loud and clear even though my brain was hazy from pain and sleep. What risk? If something happened to her I don’t know what I would do. Another loss in my life would be too much. I only had her left to lose. She's all I have left.

“Sophie if you're in trouble you know I would help you, right?” I attempted to stay quiet but the thought of her trying to do this on her own was one step I wasn’t willing to take.

She quickly turned around after hearing my voice and rubbed a hand over her forehead.

“If somethings wrong you need to tell me. I can help.” she put her hand down and walked toward me.

“I know, Spence, I know” she sat down on the stool next to me and took my hand.

“How about we take a walk?” Her eyes pleaded with me not to say anything more for the moment, and I complied. She helped me up from the seat and kept her hand on my back as she walked me out of the house.

“There's a place, out back, I used to go there when I was upset, it's quiet so we can talk”

Her voice rang with sadness and defeat but her eyes stayed looking toward the ground and she walked with me on a small gravel path leading behind the house.

Sophie~

This is not how it was supposed to happen. I was going to take him back home, I was going to put on the tea kettle and make us both peppermint tea. I was going to sit beside him on the couch in our living room and tell him about that night. But here I am, walking with him back to the place I used to come to cry when I was young. Preparing to tell him something that would change everything.

“Right here, Spence. Sit.” I sat him on a log bench overlooking the ocean behind my house. I stood before him for a second, contemplating how to tell him before sitting beside him on the bench.

“It started when I was sixteen”

I laughed and opened up my car door, throwing my backpack in the backseat before moving to the front. On the front seat was a little envelope, presumably slipped through the little crack at the top of my window. It was addressed to me in dark bold lettering, but handwriting that I didn’t recognize. I sent a picture to my best friend at the time, Ben. He responded almost immediately:

B: wasn’t me, I promise! Where'd you find that?

S: my car, it was just sitting on the driver's seat, should I open it?

B: ummmm, Yeah!! But send me a picture of what it says!

I carefully opened the envelope, trying my best to not rip-

“Wait, wait, wait.” Spencer stopped me in my tracks and put his hand out in front of him like he was stopping a car in the road.

“Ben? Isn't he-”

“The one that killed himself the first year we were dating” I stopped him in his tracks and gulped after I said it. It was never an easy thing to talk about, even so long after. But he comes in later, and I have too much of the story left to start crying now, so I continued.

I opened it to find a badly folded bit of construction paper with a note saying “I always love it when you wear braids” behind the paper was about six or seven pictures of me. All of them were in color and taken from afar, usually at my back, with the braids that I wore so often circled on each photo in red sharpie. I took a few photos to send to Ben but didn't wait for a response before securing the envelope in my glove compartment and locking my doors. I right away texted my sister the photos as well and drove off as fast as I could from the school parking lot.

“So you were being stalked?”

“In short, yes. It got worse and much more frequent. After that I stopped wearing my braids as often. I figured, if that's what he wants I'm sure as hell not giving it to him. But the pictures kept coming, until one day a few months after the first envelope my mom found one on my doorstep.”

“Oh, Sophie, I forgot to tell you, I put a letter for you on your desk, I found it on the porch.” my heart stopped when she told me. He had never left them at my home before. He had left them in my car, in my locker, in my school bag even, but never once at my home. I never told my mom, only my siblings and Ben. I faked a smile to her after I could calm my breathing enough to speak.

“Thanks, Mom, I'll look at it a bit. It's probably just an invitation or something” I couldn't bring her into this, especially not now that he knew where I lived.

I took photos of the new envelope. The same handwriting adorned the note and my name written on the outside. Again the note was written with a red sharpie on badly folded construction paper. Again six or seven photos with markings all over the pictures in the same red sharpie as on the note. This time, the pictures were closer. Some still far away, but those taken from afar were through windows. Some even into my bedroom.

“And you didn't go to the police?” Spencer's voice yet again interrupted me from the memories that were so prevalent in my mind.

“No. The new note said I couldn't. I was a young woman, in Maine, Spence. No one would have taken me seriously even if I had. Besides, in that same note he wrote the address of all of my friends and family. He promised to kill them If I told anyone.” Spencer said nothing but his eyes and shoulders sank. He put a hand on my leg and rubbed as he saw me shake. Even all these years later the very thought of it scared me so bad that I could barely breathe.

It continued like that for two years. Once a month at least I would get an envelope. I never saw him. After I graduated there were a few months where I didn’t get a note. I thought it was over. My brother and my sister came back to Maine for the summer. I was accepted into an accelerated MD program at Tufts and was leaving in a few months. Then, three months before I was supposed to leave, the notes came back.

“Lu, I don't know what to do!” I sat on the couch in our living room and cried to her while my brother stood by the wall reading the note. After he was done reading, he grabbed my hand and looked me dead in the eyes.

“We’re going to the school” He helped me and Lu up from the couch and we all got in his car.

“Dominic, we can’t! You saw the last one! He knows where we live!”

“He said we couldn't go to the police, he never said anything about the school”

And so, we went. He parked in the back and locked the car with the windows rolled up even with the summer heat. He walked in front of me and Lu behind me. And then we went in.

“So you told the school?”

“We tried. It was already dark by the time we had gotten there. There was no one in the building, so we left.”

Defeated, Dominic promised me that we would go as soon as we could the next day and he and Lu walked out of the building towards the car. I swear before it happened I felt something was wrong. There was nothing that could have told me that, I know. But as I stepped off of that curb in front of the building, chills went up my spine. I looked up to see the face of a boy in my class. I didn't even know his name but I recognized him. He was driving a car. A red Ford truck. As I smiled up to him I didn't even notice his engine revving. He hit me full force and drove off without a second of hesitation.

I was sobbing now, remembering the pain that I felt before I went unconscious. I was barely conscious for a minute before I passed out. But still that was the worst pain I had felt in my life. Spencer rubbed my back and coached me through breathing as best he could. His face was a mixture of panic and sadness but he said nothing as he helped me breathe.

“I should have died that night, maybe then he would have left us all alone”

#Criminal Minds #criminalminds #spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #OC #trauma #Drama #injury #maine #hit and run #stalking

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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Coming Home

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Summary: OC struggles with the trauma from her past while staying with her family.

Warnings: Trauma, Swearing, injury, anxiety, death (past), general angst

Pairing: Spencer reid X OC

Words: 1k +

A/N: I think this is the last update for the day! not positive but hoping so.

*I do not own any CM characters

~~~~~~~~

Part 8

Sophie~

Coming home was one thing. Seeing the roads and the spots that I knew from my childhood was another thing. But hearing that voice, before I could even steel myself enough to leave the car. That was another level of difficulty.

“Well, look who finally came home”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hear it. I had missed it, all of it. Of course I did, I mean for a very long time that voice was all I knew. It was my sanctuary from anything scary in this world. But it was also the voice that reminded me of my worst moments here. - “What do you mean she's dead” my face was stone cold and unwavering. “It was just a few minutes ago, they called me.” “no, no that's not right. That can’t be right. I was there just a minute ago. She was fine. She was fine!”- Spencer’s hand squeezed mine when he noticed my eyes were closed as I began to lose myself in panic inducing memories.

“Hey, you back with me?” After hearing his voice I took a shaky breath and nodded.

“I’m here.” My door was open, as was his, and I unbuckled myself but waited just a minute, unsure of how I would feel getting out. A few tears escaped and I quickly wiped them away and shook my head, attempting to force myself out of my thoughts.

“Are you going to hug me or what?” that voice again, the voice I knew, a voice I could never forget as it's so close to my own. I ran towards her and failed to notice the tears that went down my cheeks as I ran.

Her embrace was warm. The embrace only an older sister can give. Close to that a mother but almost with more understanding.

“Spence, this is my sister-” I stopped to wipe some tears from my cheek and to turn towards him where he was still sitting in the car, staring at me and Lu.

“Lu, this is Spencer.”

Spencer~

Even from the car with my eyes half closed I could tell they were close. Even after she broke away to turn to me, they stood shoulder to shoulder, clearly missing the others comforting touch. I waved from my seat and looked at Sophie’s face. It was contorted into a look of pain forced into a small smile. I don’t know where her mind was, but one thing for sure, it wasn't here. Not in this moment. Maybe not even in this place, but I had a feeling that it was in the one moment she wouldn't share with me.

“It's uh, nice to meet you, finally. I’ve heard lots about you” not quite a lie. She would tell me stories about her siblings, mostly her brother whom I have met a few times. She would tell me stories from when she was young, always seeming to leave out details that would leave any of them too vulnerable. Her brother lived in DC, he was older than the both of us by seven years. I had come to know how close he was with her only after I saw them together the first time. The way they looked to each other was like they were constantly afraid of losing the other.

“So, someone wants to help me out?” I unbuckled myself and the both of them walked over to me to help. I looked up after they had half carried me out of the car and opened my mouth to start small talk, but was cut off by a tiny shake of the head and a glare from Sophie. Enough to tell me that “now is not the time” so I kept my mouth shut, choosing instead to watch the microexpressions on the two of their faces. The little moves they both made were practically identical. The little flares of the nostrils that I knew Soph always did when she was about to cry, were mirrored exactly in her sister.

“Thanks Lu, but you can uh, head home. I got it from here”

“You know I’m not leaving, not until-”

“Please. Not today. Please.” I stayed silent as I sat on the couch in their large living room. There was something she didn't want to discuss, that I knew for sure. With every second that she stayed in this room she stiffened. The room was filled with happy looking pictures of the five of them. Some when they were little but also pictures as recent as a few months ago when Sophie and I met with her Brother for lunch.

“Fine. not today. But I'm not leaving. Matt can take care of the kids for now, I'll stay in my old room. You’ll need the help anyways”

The look on the both of their faces was one I recognized from living with Sophie. Her stubbornness reflected back to her from her sister. Both refusing to move from their stance until the other submitted to defeat. Finally Sophie sat on the couch beside me and nodded her head without saying a word. Her sister, Lu, left the room and walked down the stairs, presumably heading to her room.

Sophie~

I knew she'd push me to talk. But I couldn't. It was taking all I had in me not to jump up from the couch and run as far as I can from this place.

“So, you going to tell me what that was about? Or am I just going to have to put it together myself?”

“You're the profiler here remember? How ‘bout you guess?”

“Okay, i’ll leave it alone. But only if you promise me that you don't beat yourself up about whatever it is. Okay?”

“Okay”

I stopped talking and pulled my knees up to my chest hugging them with my arms before releasing them to lay sideways on the couch, my head resting gently on Spence’s good shoulder. I focused on his breathing. Remembering the first time I saw him after he was shot. His breath was even now, so unlike then. That first night seeing him struggling to breathe took my own breath away.

He took his one hand and rubbed my back. Knowing he was the only thing keeping me from a massive breakdown, I'm sure.

“Hey, it's going to be okay.”

“How? How? If I can't even talk to you about it, the one person who I trust to keep me safe? To keep me happy? If I can't tell you, how am I supposed to live with that?”

He was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say.

“You won't have to be alone anymore.”

A simple answer. An easy one. But he's right, I’m not alone this time. But that won't make it any easier.

#spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #CM #fanfiction #OC #original work #injury #trauma #anxitey #Drama #Multichapter

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sopeyb23-blog · 5 years ago

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Coming Home

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Summary: After leaving the hospital Spencer and OC head to her parents house.

Warnings: Injury, hospitals, anxiety, swearing, death (past)

Parings: OC x Spencer Reid

Words: 1k +

A/N: going crazy with updating today sorry!

*I do not own any CM characters

~~~~~~~~

Part 7

Spencer~

The first few days after I was shot I slept more than I probably had in months. I would wake up every half an hour for a few minutes sometimes managing to eat a few bites of jello that Garcia bought for me before falling back into a hazy sleep. You would think that after being shot the first couple of times, this would all be routine for me, but this was different. It wasn't just different because I really had someone to worry about this time, but even I knew that this was worse. Much worse. The looks on the faces of just about everyone that walked into my room told me how horrible I must have looked. Sophie’s sobs from the first time I was conscious play over and over in my head, reminding me to never again forget how lucky I am to live everyday knowing her. To hear someone cry over you is one thing. But to hear your biggest love cry as if they are already mourning your death? That's something I doubt even someone without an eidetic memory could forget.

“Spencer, I'm not letting you leave AMA!” I looked up from my daze to find my angry girlfriend standing at the end of my bed.

“Are we talking about their AMA or your AMA?”

“Both! You were shot, for christ's sake!”

“But I have you to help me! You’ll know better than any of them if there's something horribly wrong with me and then we can take care of it! Plus, studies have shown that patients being cared for by loved ones in their own homes recover more quickly than patients in any other environments”

She crossed her arms and tilted her head at me.

“Fine. but you are not getting in a plane. We’ll stay in Maine until I clear you to fly, cappice?”

“I thought you wouldn't want to stay here-”

“Spence, don't worry about that, okay? I can survive a few nights with my mother if it means you don't do anything more to hurt yourself.”

Sophie~

So, I lied. Just a little lie, but nevertheless, a lie. Truthfully, I want to get out of this place more than Spencer could ever know. But if staying here means that he is at less risk, what choice do I have?

“Hey mom, i'm sorry that I haven't called you back, things have been a little hectic”

“Sweetie I'm not angry, I'm just confused! What’s going on with you?”

“I'm here mom. I’m at the Portland hospital with Spencer, and we need a place to stay until he's okay enough to fly.”

I stood in the corner of the room by the windows whispering in hopes to not wake the now sleeping Spencer, but failed. He looked towards me and furrowed his brows like he does whenever he is trying to piece things together. I attempted to mouth to him- all good, my mom, go back to sleep- but with the puzzled look he gave back to me I'm guessing I didn't do such a great job.

“Look mom, he just woke up so I have to go, but should I call Lu or can I bring him there?”

“Of course you can come here! There's no need to bother your sister, besides you know how she is around blood and that poor-”

“Okay thank you goodbye mom” I hung up my phone and made my way back to the chair beside the hospital bed where my computer and my blanket were messily thrown on the cushion.

“Once you are good to leave we are going to my house.”

“Your house? Am I about to meet your parents for the first time?”

“Yeah babe, you are. Got a suit?” his eyes got really wide and I laughed while shaking my head.

“Im joking, Spence, I don't even know if I remembered to bring you pants, nevermind a two piece”

And so with a simple exchange and a lot of paperwork, we signed him out, found him some pants, and left the hospital.

Spencer~

Oh my god. You would think that my greatest shock of the past week would have been being shot multiple times, but no, oh no. My biggest shock of the week is that now, barely dressed, my torso covered only with the slightly bled on gause the nurses applied to me, I was about to meet my girlfriends parents. You would think that for such a short distance and for knowing each other for so long we would have at least corresponded a few times with her parents, but no. That was yet another topic that was a little too raw.

With an orderly pushing the wheelchair that I was in and Sophie walking briskly beside me with her hands full of medical supplies and various personal belongings, we made our way out to a big black dodge van. A man slightly shorter than me stepped out of the driver's seat, and a woman a little taller than Sophie stepped out of the passengers side. I could recognize them both from pictures around the apartment and her phone. If I could stand I would have shaken their hands, but in my current painful state the most I could do is try to look even half awake.

“Mom, dad, this is Spencer” I smiled through the pain and looked up at them. Both were smiling back but with a little apprehension, like they weren't quite sure what to make of me.

Our introduction was brief and very few words were said before Soph ushered me into a seat in the back and opened the opposite door to enter the seat beside me. As soon as she got in she quickly reached out to grab my one unrestrained hand and squeezed it so hard I thought she would have to wheel me right back into the ER.

“Hey, it's going to be okay, baby” I tried my best to reassure her, but without knowing why she was this scared in the first place, I wasn't sure how well I could help.

The car ride was shorter than I expected it to be. Although I am certain that I was asleep for the majority of it. When the car stopped I woke up and squeezed Sophie’s hand which still rested in mine. The house we stopped in front of was a light purple with a navy blue trim. The driveway was long and unpaved, passing a big pond on one side and a forest on the other. There were two other cars in the driveway and I could hear dogs barking from within the house. It was so unlike where I had grown up. It was beautiful, I couldn't understand how someone could hate this. A woman who looked almost exactly like Sophie approached the car and opened Sophs door.

“Well, look who finally came home”

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