#at this point i won’t do any of those things

[justhereforthecupcakes]

@rosie-tyler Funny you mention Daniel spitting.

I actually wrote a very dark and sad AU fic in which Daniel spits in Terry’s face during the infamous arm lock moment in the 5x05 fight scene… with tragic results.

I’ve decided to post it below. Please be warned there are VERY dark themes and TW subjects. Otherwise, I hope those who read enjoy.

Something You’ll Never Forget Series

Title: Something You’ll Never Forget (I Know I Won’t)

Pairing: Daniel LaRusso/Terry Silver

Disclaimer: do you really need one at this point, or do you honestly believe I own the franchise?…. Why yes I do, write any checks to me please!

Warnings: N/C, Sexual Assault, Physical Assault, Edging, Forced Orgasm, Obsession, Anti-Asian slur, Terry Silver is his own warning, in fact Terry Silver is flat out delulu

Summary: Daniel makes the mistake of telling Terry Silver to blow him. So he does.

“You really ought to be careful what you ask for, Danny Boy.”

Daniel lay on the floor, naked below the waist, trembling and giving broken little whimpers from both the assault and being kept on edge for the last 20 minutes by Terry’s mouth and hands. He was straining oh so beautifully against the silver silk scarf binding his hands behind his back.

His cock straining even more.

Terry was glad he decided against blindfolding him; it would have heightened the sensations for his boy, but seeing the conflicting emotions of shame and arousal in his expressive brown eyes was far more rewarding.

They had fought, ending with Terry trapping Daniel’s arms with his own, taunting him.

“You never had the strength, did you?”

“Blow me, asshole!” Daniel had spat out, before spitting in his face.

He also never did learn to watch his mouth…

He’d struggled at first, alternating between panic and anger, pleading and cursing at him to stop; then the tears followed. But eight minutes in, the anger and tears subsided as Daniel gave up fighting. Resigned to Terry’s ministrations, his breaths now coming in delicious little gasps, and moans.

He loved the fire in his boy, but Submission was a damn good look for him.

Terry’s pants were definitely much tighter than they were 20 minutes ago. He ignored it, though. That wasn’t exactly easy considering Daniel’s thighs were quivering in the most provocative manner — if he only knew just how badly Terry was tempted to take a bite of his inner thigh and truly mark him.

For now…

Daniel let out a choked moan as he massaged his balls, lips teasingly brushing over his cock.

Oh he was going to enjoy hearing his boy cry out in ecstasy when he finally let him come.

But not yet.

He would make him beg next time - and there would be a next time, giving Daniel this small taste has without a doubt ensured that.

Perhaps he’d even take a hand to his backside for his insolence, as adorable as it was. Administer blow after blow until his cheeks were glowing.. until he was deliciously squirming and writhing in his lap, begging for Terry’s forgiveness… for mercy…

But, he didn’t want to totally break him just yet. Breaking him too quickly would have him running or fighting him even harder.

He knew his boy — he’ll always be his boy, no matter how old he got — and he was a stubborn thing. Regardless of how many years had been lost between them, he knew not to rush him. Daniel would need time to accept his feelings if he was to come to him on his own.

Besides, this was meant to be a gift, an incentive, a little nudge in the right direction…

… Still, his boy did need a firm touch. He needed to learn.

And Terry just couldn’t help himself.

“Do you have any idea how you look right now?”

A gentle kiss to his swollen cock.

“Has it ever been this good with your wife?”

Daniel remained as stony-faced as he could manage in his position.

Admittedly, it was an unfair question to ask — and an irrelevant one.

The one that mattered…

“Has a man ever touched you like this before?”

Because he needed to know. And because he’d seen Lawrence and especially that sl**t-eyed Toguchi sniffing around his boy, like Daniel was a bitch in heat.

Well, he supposed, in a way, he is.

And Barnes… well, he got the message.

The grimace on Daniel’s face was enough to confirm he hadn’t. And the elation it brought him. It meant Terry would be his first in so many ways.

God, it meant he’d stayed faithful.

That alone earned Daniel his reward.

He grasped him tightly then, sealing his mouth over the head and giving him firm strokes; his other hand teasing his perineum — that did the trick.

Daniel let out a strangled cry, involuntarily thrusting his hips and himself further into Terry’s mouth. It wasn’t long until Daniel threw his head back, letting out a guttural moan as he came hard.

Watching him fall apart and completely come undone truly was a sight to behold. Something he’ll never forget.

And neither will Daniel.

Underneath the flush from his post-coital daze, he looks shellshocked.

Understandable; his boy had never experienced this kind of pleasure before.

Daniel was no doubt experiencing the full onslaught of the feelings and desires he had kept buried all these years, the ones Terry had just forced him to confront.

It was long overdue. Terry had accepted his feelings, and now it’s time for Daniel to do the same.

Time for Daniel to come back to where he belonged.

He gently takes his face in his hands and kisses him before he unties him and leaves; pocketing the silk scarf.

It won’t be long before he’ll finally have the pleasure of seeing what his beautiful boy will look like riding his cock.

Until then, the scarf that had touched Daniel’s beautiful hands was now wrapped around his cock. And he imagined his boy would feel just as smooth around him.

So he waited for his boy to come to him.

And waited.

But his boy never came.

No, the next knock on his door were two LAPD officers with a warrant for his arrest.

The charge: sexual assault of Daniel LaRusso.

He made bail, of course.

But to add insult to injury, he was almost immediately served with a Temporary Restraining Order barring any contact with Daniel and his family, and instructing him to stay a minimum distance of 100 feet away for the next 30 days.

How he managed to obtain one so quickly… The judge listed on the order was part of LaRusso’s little country club, no doubt.

He’d have her charged with collusion and disbarred.

GODDAMN LITTLE PRICK!

Even if he wasn’t convicted and placed on the sex offender list, the charges alone would severely hamper, if not totally derail his plans.

LaRusso, you little bastard… you fucking tease!

He planned this.

Somehow he’d planned this and once again Terry had underestimated him.

He would have given him the world.

Okay, Danny Boy. Okay.

Now the real pain begins.

Title: Breathe

Sequel to: Something You’ll Never Forget (I Know I Won’t)

Pairing: Daniel LaRusso/Terry Silver

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS, murder, strangulation, rape, stalking, obsession, suicide, Terry Silver is his own warning, in fact Terry Silver is flat out delulu

Summary: After the events of “Something You’ll Never Forget (I Know I Won’t),” Terry makes bail… and now… the real pain begins.

He wept softly as he rocked Daniel’s too still body in his arms…

He understood, too late, his boy simply wanted to know if he mattered more to him than Cobra Kai.

This had been a test to see if he would choose what mattered most, and he’d failed.

He’d been waiting for him at Miyagi-Do.

He just wanted to… he doesn’t know… but he needed Daniel to know.

Terry needed Daniel to know that for all the things he’d ever experienced… Viet Nam… the fear… the trauma…

Never had he experienced heartbreak like that at the hands of Daniel LaRusso.

His Danny Boy…

There were moments he was sure Daniel was pure Cobra, more than he or Kreese ever were.

He thought he’d never been more sure than the moment he learned what his boy was capable of: Orchestrating his arrest, the restraining order… setting everything he had worked to rebuild to burn to ash once more.

All of his patience and planning… all his years of therapy… gone with one look from his boy… a single threat of walking away…

But when he came out of the shadows, and Daniel jumped back, and ordered him to leave — screamed for him to get out.

Out of nowhere his anger dissipated; instead, Terry broke down and fell to his knees, grabbing Daniel around his waist, begging him… “don’t make me go, don’t push me away, please”…. never had he willingly shown such weakness and vulnerability in his life…

… and still Daniel tried pulling away… panicking and screaming and tripping them both to the ground with Terry on top of his back…

“DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TOUCH ME!”

The cruelty in his boy.

And, God help him, his anger has returned and turned into an all consuming rage. All he could think was how much he wanted him to hurt! To make him suffer for the way he had deliberately made Terry suffer, and break him for it.

Because Terry was suffocating and he couldn’t breathe…

So he wouldn’t breathe…

He wound the silver scarf around the swanlike throat and pulled tight… tighter…

"Terr—" he'd choked out, before his eyes rolled back and he finally went still under him.

And he was done waiting, done drawing this out. No, this was pleasure for Terry and pain for Daniel.

“I told you not to play with fire,” he voice shook in fury, as he undid his belt and pants, before roughly yanking down Daniel’s, “didn’t I?”

He took one moment to appreciate the enticing view, smoothing a hand over the cheeks he could only dream about over the decades; now a reality in front of him. Any ounce of regret he might have felt at their first time ruined by fury and blood was overtaken and consumed by that decades old darkness that had been caged too long.

There was no going back.

He took that one moment before spitting into his palm, and greasing his cock with the barest amount, because he didn’t deserve lube… he deserved every second of the torture he was about to endure…

And he shoved in, uncaring of the damage to delicate flesh and the blood that followed — satisfied even.

“You used me!” thrust “You used me for a trophy” thrust “and then walked away” thrust “without a backward” thrust “glance!”

His hands yanked upward on the silk material, pulling the scarf tighter, while pushing down between Daniel’s shoulders blades. Daniel couldn’t cry out, could barely breathe, body twitching in agony; didn’t matter - he knew he was in excruciating pain, while he was in utter bliss.

He was so very right after all… his boy was as smooth as silk on the inside… Smooth as velvet… He never knew people actually saw stars when they came.

He let his breathing come back under control… but his hands… were still pulling on the scarf around his boy…

… who was laying too still…

NO.

He jerked his hands away from the scarf and turned his form onto his back, and frantically tried to give the breath he'd stolen from him back… mouth-to-mouth… chest compressions… mouth-to-mouth… chest compressions…

BREATHE!

God, Danny - sweetheart - please breathe…

He tried listening for a heartbeat, but the horrible wail that tore from him drowned out the sound that wasn’t there.

He simply dragged his boy up into his arms, silently crying as he rocked him, whispering apologies and begging forgiveness to unhearing ears.

He doesn’t know how long he sat there, doesn’t know how long it was before he was discovered by Lawrence, Toguchi and (regrettably) Daniel’s children.

He knows their presence is the only reason he woke up in a hospital three days later, miraculously still alive… in pain (though it would never come close to what he felt when Daniel’s body was ripped away from his arms)… but he was still alive…

Just another regret.

A regret he remedied when he plead guilty, and requested the death penalty. He’s not the first convicted murderer in history to do so; but it still sent shockwaves through the Valley.

But he didn’t do this out of any sense of nobility… not even because he deserved to die for what he did… no, again he was selfish - he did this to see his boy that much sooner.

The only solace he had found through this tragedy was when he belatedly realized that his name was the last thing the love of his life ever breathed.

And so he was sentenced to death by lethal injection.

But he was given a surprise visit by Samantha on the day of his execution.

She didn’t want his apologies, she wanted to know why.

“Nothing I could tell you would ever make sense, nor should it. All I can tell you is that I wanted to believe I could change. I tried to pretend I wasn’t a monster, but I am. And your father… despite what I’ve done, I love him.”

And he loved me.

But he left that unspoken. She would never accept that. Never be ready for that.

Like father, like daughter.

Predictably she reacted in shock and denial, but he held her gaze and allowed her to see the naked and undeniable truth from him. The rage was still there, but so too was the quiet realization and acceptance of his admission.

“I’ve never felt more pain than the moment I realized what I’d done. I’ll never forgive myself for it.

“You don’t have to forgive me. But, Samantha — don’t let this consume you or your family like it did me.

“For over 30 years I’ve thought of nothing else but all the ways my life could have been different if I had just made a different choice - the right choice. I wanted something beautiful, and I had the chance to have a future with him… but now, if I could go back and change everything, I’d go back to the start of it all… and I’d kill Kreese. And me.”

That surprised her.

“So that you, your dad, and your family could live a happy life. Safe.”

She sat, unsure of how to take that. “But you can’t.”

“No,” he admitted, “But you will be safe from now on, Samantha. I’ll be going soon, and I’m taking Cobra Kai with me. It’s already done. It’s only a matter of time - they just don’t know it. And one day, you and your family can stop looking over your shoulder. It’s the one unselfish thing I can do.”

He watched her, the daughter they never had, leave knowing she would be safe.

He briefly wondered what she would do with the money he was leaving her and her brother… how she would react when they discovered they were among the beneficiaries, but no point in dwelling.

And when the guard came for him, he didn’t cry, he didn’t have second thoughts, he did not beg for mercy. Not even as they strapped him down. Not even when they inserted the I.V.

This was Mercy, unintentional as it were.

Daniel was waiting for him on the other side.

And he would find in death what he could not find in life — Love.

He was still smiling as they depressed the plunger.

Title: The Roots Are Strong

Sequel: Breathe (Third in the Something You’ll Never Forget series)

Pairing: Daniel LaRusso/Terry Silver

Characters: Daniel LaRusso, Terry Silver, Johnny Lawrence, Samantha LaRusso, Anthony LaRusso, Amanda LaRusso, Miguel Diaz, Carmen Diaz, Robby Keene, John Kreese, Kim De Eun, Chozen Toguchi, Mike Barnes.

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS, death penalty, references to murder both past and present

Summary: Terry is executed, and everyone deals with the aftermath.

Samantha was curled next to Miguel on the couch, Anthony passed out on the other side of her, his head on her lap and a protective hand on his shoulder. He had progressively grown even thinner over the last six months.

Even Johnny had tried to get him to eat more — couldn’t help it. Kid was starting to look as skinny as his dad during his pencil thin days of high school… Always had to fight the urge to shove a sandwich down the little twerp’s throat back then.

Amanda had seemed to age ten years. A heavily pregnant Carmen was by her side doing her best to provide comfort.

The rest of Miyagi-Do/Eagle Fang were scattered about, keeping watch. Standing guard.

It was happening. Right now.

Johnny, Mike, and Chozen were present to make sure the bastard was dead and gone. No tricks this time.

And Robby.

There was no stopping him.

“He was there for me and I stabbed him in the back - I never even got to apologize… I need to be there. I need to see that asshole pay. He’s the reason for all of it.”

Johnny nodded.

“Ok, you’re 18 now. You can decide. But if it gets to be too much, then we’re out. No judgment. And no questions. Ok?”

It was incredibly anti-climatic.

But the son-of-a-bitch still died smiling.

Whatever. Hell will wipe it off his face the second he lands there.

They switched off the monitor once he’d flatlined and closed the curtain.

And that was that.

Afterwards, everyone departed, and it felt like a fucked up version of everyone walking out of a Sunday matinee.

Show’s over… time to go home…

But the son-of-a-bitch was gone.

That was one down as far as Johnny was concerned. There was still a fight left for what remained of Cobra Kai and Kim Da-Eun.

Or so he had thought.

Their demise had been anticlimactic as well.

Kreese met his end in prison the day of Silver’s execution.

A shank to the jugular and no one was talking.

No one cared.

With Kreese and Silver gone, Kim Da Eun had simply packed up and left.

If she planned to continue her grandfather’s legacy, it wouldn’t be in the Valley. And that’s all that mattered.

When Silver’s lawyer reached out the day after his execution, all of them were prepared for a battle beyond the grave. Something they should have seen coming.

No one expected he’d named Johnny and the LaRusso kids among the beneficiaries of his will.

They still expected some kind of trap. A deal with the devil. Maybe a cursed rabbit’s foot or something.

“To Samantha LaRusso and Anthony LaRusso, daughter and son of Daniel LaRusso, I leave a total sum of $200 million dollars to be split equally between both parties.”

He hadn’t counted on Anthony being the one to explode. He had been so quiet and shut down the whole time. But they all knew it was coming sooner or later.

He popped out his chair and almost up ended the desk before Johnny and Chozen were able to subdue him.

“Does he think money can fix this?! NO! I don’t want his goddamn money. I want my dad back!”

Amanda and Chozen had ushered him and Samantha out of the office.

“To John Lawrence, I leave in its entirety the title and brand ownership of Cobra Kai, LLC, to include its dojos—“

The rest he’d left to various charities and anti-bullying organizations, blah blah blah.

Douche.

In the end, they had each taken the inheritance.

Sam and Anthony had no clue where to go from here, though.

But Cobra Kai was now officially his. He knew what had to be done.

He’d retired the moniker and sold most of the dojos — there’d been a lot. He made a decent sized fortune, more than enough to secure a house — a real house — for his family, close enough to the LaRussos… he could afford to send all three of the kids to college if that’s the route they took...

Cobra Kai was gone.

And in its place stood Miyagi-Do — now officially co-owned by Chozen, Sam and Anthony, with Amanda acting as trustee until they reached 18; and with Johnny and Chozen as head instructors.

Carmen and Shannon managing the finances and accounts.

Finally.

The head of the snake had been cut off.

It was over.

For Cobra Kai. For Kreese. For Silver.

For Daniel.

But Miyagi-Do would live on, and be here long after they were gone.

All of them were going to be okay.

Because the roots are strong, so the tree will survive.

A/N: Terry did NOT see Daniel when he passed over. Nope. He woke up in his own Hell Loop losing the 85 tournament and watching Daniel walk away, smiling, over and over and over…

oh, sex? actually, can you just beat me up homoerotically so i can go home and jerk off about it later?

[ennabear]

✴︎ —PAINT THE AGES A HUNDRED SHADES OF GOLD ⊹₊⟡⋆

I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT LOVE ANYMORE ‘CAUSE IT’S GETTING TOO MUCH FOR ME …

cw: councilor!sevika x painter!mel, sevika is a lil sad and mean but she gets over it, sevika is also kind of a loser who can’t stop talking when she gets drunk, jinx and isha mentions because i’m evil and we know this, mel paints sevika nude, body worship, lots of comfort, oral sex, 18+

word count: 7.3k

it’s been months since sevika’s big move, and she fucking hates it to say the least.

all of these pilties are stuck up, even more than she remembers. which is a lot. she’s exhausted, she questions why she’s even a part of the council if all they do is ignore her. showing up every day and listening to them talk about her home and her people the way they do makes her sick.

they draft plans to raid the markets, shutting down anyone who isn’t licensed to be selling meat or rice or bread, but they refuse to let anyone get a license to sell those things. of course, she’s glad that she gets to eat three meals a day now, but with every bite she takes, she’s reminded of her home, and how starving they must be over there.

no matter how much she fights back, offers up a real plan that could make peace between the rivaling nations, they all just snicker and point fingers at her like she’s some sort of circus act.

and don’t ask her about how much she likes being called councilor sevika, because she doesn’t like it at all. she’s not a councilor, and maybe that’s a good thing, because it’s the last thing she’d ever wanna be.

still, she keeps her emotions under control. this is a huge opportunity to help get zaun on it’s feet and cut ties with piltover officially, she won’t spoil it by making a scene and giving up. no matter what, she’s gonna make an effort, even if it means being locked in a room with a group of rich pigs who’ve never felt that growing pit of hunger in their stomachs that make them so dizzy that they keel over on the streets.

that they die on the streets.

so yeah, it’s not easy, not even a little bit.

most of her nights are spent alone in her room. it’s nice, “small” compared to the rooms everyone else occupies, but still bigger than any house she’s ever seen in the undercity. it has large windows that let every bit of light in, but it’s still eerily dark at night compared to zaun.

in zaun, there are neon lights and buzzing street lamps that glow and flicker at every hour, so when it gets dark, the colorful lights bounce off of every inch of the city. you can see them in the reflections of the puddles, bright streaks of light flying up into the night from behind buildings and stretching until they’re out of sight.

here, in piltover, they have different kinds of lights. tiny, white holes in the sky called stars that shine when it gets dark. they have spotlights and statues and lanterns, but it gets lonely at night. everyone is at home, distancing from their friends and their jobs, getting sleep and resting up for whatever the next day will bring.

there isn’t really any rest in zaun, just a small wink of sleep whenever you catch it, and you’re up again. everyone’s grouchy and hungry and cold, but it makes for good shimmer sales, and the bar is a great place to find refuge when you need a break from it all.

so sevika sleeps with all of her lights on. an attempt to remind her of home— although her home doesn’t have a queen sized bed, fluffy pillows and soft blankets, lamps, alarm clocks, fireplaces, clean water on their nightstands, and stars that shine through their windows.

the stars might be her favorite part about piltover. probably the only good thing about piltover. she doesn’t really know what they are or what they do, but they’re nice to look at late at night when she can’t manage to sleep.

every time she finds herself staring up at them, she sends a prayer or two up to janna. always one for the people, a prayer that even though they pretend to hate each other, and there sure are a few goons who are ready to slit her throat for never paying them back, she hopes they’re okay.

she hopes that ran and theiram have got the bar under control, that vi and ekko manage to keep the chaos limited, and most of all, that jinx and isha are doing alright.

ever since silco died, her whole world was flipped upside down and shaken vigorously. who knew that someday she’d be missing jinx? but she does. she cries at night for the blue haired girl, praying for her safety and her happiness, hoping that she’s managed to keep some of her creativity after everything that went down.

and of course for the more tolerable blue haired kid, isha.

she prays that isha is still attached at the hip to jinx, that her fluffy hair gets dyed that awful bright blue color as often as she wants it to, that she’s found some way to communicate with the world while her voice is at rest.

she’s got no clue as to where they could be. one second, she’s wishing jinx would leave her alone. that she’d pack up her inventions and make a home for them far away from sevika’s life. the next second, they’re gone. no warning, no heads up whatsoever, just completely taken from her life.

but if she wishes to find any wisp of happiness, she’s gonna have to push these thoughts to the back of her mind, only letting them front when she’s alone and awake and accompanied by the stars. they’re the only things who understand her.

——

if you listen closely, you might be able to hear the sound of mel’s thoughts buzzing around in her mind.

the past few months have given her some intense whiplash, but things are finally starting to straighten out. her life isn’t exactly normal, but she’s growing used to her… new self.

she spends most of her time perched at her easel, painting the canvas in beautiful colors that fall over various people or places. it’s therapeutic for her, whatever image or question or anger she has lingering in her head, she can work it out with the paints. when she’s done, she lines them up in front of her.

it helps her see things more clearly, like a thought that can’t float away, frozen in time for her to analyze further. some of them are just plain colors. gold, with white, yellow, and bronze streaks, an attempt to recreate the swirls that are painted on her own body.

sometimes she paints her mother, her eyebrows lowered in a scowl and her silvery gray hair crowning her head. jayce and viktor occasionally make an appearance, both of their faces lost in thought as they stare at various equations and formulas that she can’t quite make out.

sometimes she just sees miscellaneous things, quick visions that she needs to bring to life. countless canvases are covered in black, with that dark red fog reaching into it like vines. there’s also the hextech that makes the occasional appearance, but she can’t quite get that bright, rich blue color right.

a few times before, she’s attempted portraits, but she doesn’t prefer them. lest has been one of her closest friends during all of this, she can sit and pose for hours while mel works away at her figure on the canvas. they’ve also tried painting together, but mel prefers her alone time.

she’s tried recreating the pictures from her memory, but it never comes out as well. she covers the canvas in thick paint, a bronze, brown, and white, making up jayce’s features. but she always clouds his face with shiny white webs, and those glistening, rainbow stars. the ones that stole him away.

while she sits, her body stays stagnant, eyes racing around the blank canvas. she mixes the colors in her head before she even opens the tubes, her eyes proportion it all for her, so she rarely makes sketches anymore.

recently, she’s been more interested in staying in and shutting out the world. the occasional knock rings out against her door, but she can’t be bothered to investigate. she doesn’t wanna give her opinions anymore, doesn’t wanna lead all of topside to peace and gas the streets of the undercity. really, she never signed up for that. sure, she’s ambessa’s daughter, but she doesn’t care to be a leader anymore. not when all it does is get people hurt and killed.

but apparently it’s urgent this time, because the knocking persists.

“um, mel?” a timid voice asks. “i hate to bother you, but the council requires yo—”

she flings the door open, clad in her white robe and slippers. her hood hangs halfway over her head as she glares at the man, but he insists on escorting her to the council meeting. her feet gently pad against the floor as she walks through the long halls, already dreading having to play referee for a group of adults who should know better.

but ambessa is gone now, and these people need someone to give them any sort of direction.

the dome shaped room welcomes her, and although she dreads being there, the sun shining through the stained glass is gorgeous. she spies a few familiar faces sitting in their respective seats, and notices some new ones who were added after the war.

“but they need the money!” one councilor booms, one of the newer ones who mel doesn’t quite recognize yet. “you can’t just cut their funds and raise the tax prices, they—”

“councilor sevika, please.” someone says, talking over her voice. “what possibly could they need more money for? our city needs to be rebuilt, and it’s them who’s caused all of this destruction.”

mel observes quietly, noticing the tears that fill sevika’s eyes. she makes an assumption that they’re either out of sadness, anger, or exhaustion, but she can’t quite tell. one thing she does know, though, is that it isn’t fair.

it’s not fair to just drag a zaunite up to topside and force her to be the only one representing her nation. especially when she has to be locked in a room full of people who hate her, who think she’s nothing more than just undercity trash to mock and make fun of.

mel’s surprised that sevika has held her ground for this long. if that were her, she’d want to pack up and leave within a day, especially when she notices the snorts and sideways glances that she gets every time she opens her mouth.

“have you even been down there?” sevika asks. “have you seen the bodies lying on the streets? have you heard the sobs of the starving children?”

they all look at her, unable to imagine what hunger even is, much less an entire nation overcome by it. shoola offers a sympathetic frown, but it’s not enough for sevika. she’s exhausted, and the thought of seeing her home even more impoverished is killing her. worst of all, word on the street is that zaunites are beginning to call her a traitor.

she wishes that they could see how hard she’s working, how much she’s fighting for them behind the scenes. but she can’t exactly blame them, it must be hard to watch every leader they’ve ever had either fail at leading them to sovereignty or turn their backs on the people. must be worse to watch someone who they thought was on their side disappear into the council and watch as things just keep getting worse and worse down there.

and this makes sevika feel horrible.

it’s hard for her not to blame herself for this, especially because that’s what she’s used to. her job for years was to be silco’s right hand, so it was constantly her fault if something went wrong. that’s just how things are. if things don’t go her way, it must be her fault for not working harder to overcome it.

“i agree.” mel says plainly. “councilor sevika has firsthand knowledge of what it’s like for them, why shouldn’t we trust her?”

sevika is taken aback at this. she’s never seen someone so… rich looking… be this understanding toward her. but although it’s the bare minimum, she appreciates it. she’ll take whatever form of kindness she can get right now.

the other councilors stare at mel like she’s just grown three heads. obviously, they’ve never been told no a day in their life. sevika is glad that she gets to be present for the first time. some of them sputter and growl, some of them roll their eyes, but sevika just sinks back into her chair and decides to let them argue it out.

“i agree too.” councilor shoola says. “it’s only fair… unless, any of you would like to go down there and experience it for yourselves? then you could tell us all about their excess of funds.”

sevika sighs in relief, thanking janna or the universe or whatever god decided to help her out. she can’t exactly smile, at least not yet, but she manages a tiny grin, and decides that maybe she shouldn’t feel too bad about herself just yet.

mel is glad that sevika and shoola have at least a little bit of brains, but she’s starting to rethink having all of the others on the council. maybe they need to fire some, or at least add some more zaunites to level the playing field. although, she now knows that sevika can put up one hell of a fight, so maybe she doesn’t need it.

but the clock strikes two in the afternoon, and the councilors file out to get on with their day until they meet again tomorrow. sevika hangs back, waiting for everyone to leave before she returns to her office. but mel hangs back too, determined to talk to sevika more, to get to know her.

sevika pulls her cape over her shoulders, completely covering her figure before she exits the room. mel perks up and shoots her a questioning look.

“yes?” sevika asks.

“you’re brave.” mel says.

“no i’m not. d’you think it’s brave of me to leave my people starving and helpless down there while i have a real home and three meals a day?”

mel just stares blankly at her. that isn’t what she meant at all, but at the same time, she’s completely right. as much as she still believes that sevika is brave for putting up with the councilors, she should be calling everyone else brave, everyone in zaun who goes days without food. sevika is the luckiest of them all.

“that’s not what i meant.” mel explains. “i meant that you’re better than them because you stand your ground instead of just getting everything you want. you work hard for what you earn.”

sevika shrugs. “i guess you could say that.”

“do you miss it down there?”

“what do you think?” sevika grunts.

“i’d bet that you do, you just try not to show it in front of anyone.”

“yes, because showing weakness gets you killed.”

“not up here, it doesn’t. you should open up a little, it might be good for you.” mel suggests.

“i’ll pass.”

“i could help you.”

“i don’t need—”

“let me help you.” mel says, reaching out to grab sevika’s hand.

“help me how?” sevika asks.

“open up to me. tell me about your life. friends, family, past, anything.”

“okay… maybe.”

“okay, good.”

——

sevika has never been great at opening up to anyone, but mel is… understanding. as much as she hates to talk about her struggles to other people, mel is probably the best possible person to talk to. mel marched herself down sevika’s hall to her door, banging on it until sevika sleepily presented herself. she marched sevika down the hall and through the building until they reached her own suite, and she fed sevika more and more wine until she started to talk to her.

it started with just a confession. sevika was wine drunk and admitted that yes, she did miss her home, and that she hated topside. and then mel pressed for more, made her tell her specifically who she missed and what she missed about them.

the list of people who she missed was never ending. at the top— jinx and isha. in all honesty, mel is shocked to learn that sevika had anyone that she really considered family, much less a daughter or a niece. but sevika tells her all about them, how isha would beg to paint her nails or dye her hair, and how jinx finally had a sister who she could play with, instead of just being too young to do anything.

but when mel asks where they’ve gone, sevika freezes. she doesn’t know, and it’s not something she prefers to think about. dead is something she’d heavily considered, but that ending makes her too sad. as long as she doesn’t know that they’re dead, they’re not. at least not in her world.

she tells mel that she hopes they’re somewhere safe, somewhere that they can have fun together. like floating on a cloud, or living in outer space with the stars. maybe they are with the stars, and that’s why she loves them so much.

“you like the stars?” mel asks.

“that’s the only thing actually worth liking about this place, i think…” sevika slurs drunkenly.

“hmm, i guess they are pretty, aren’t they.” mel ponders.

“yeah and there are so many of them, and it’s like every time you see them you’re seeing a completely different sky. and they’re cool because they only come out at night when they think nobody can see them, it’s like they’re shy. but i always see them because i’m always awake with them.” she rambles.

mel can’t help but giggle. again, everything she said is exactly right, but she’s never seen it that way. sevika offers her a fresh new perspective, one that makes her ponder how much she knows about the world.

“sorry…” sevika whispers, suddenly aware that she’s drunkenly blabbering and probably making a fool of herself. she tries to blink herself sober but it doesn’t work.

“no worries. i like them too.” mel soothes.

“i think i should go.”

“already?” mel asks.

“it’s gett’n late. i have places to be tomorrow…” sevika sighs. mel stands and walks her to the door, grabbing on gently to her human arm in an attempt to stabilize the woman. she offers a sweet smile to sevika as she leaves, even takes her hand in her own for a second and squeezes it tightly, but sevika just stares at the floor.

“mel?” she asks finally, although in a timid voice.

“yes?”

“thanks for sticking up for me. i don’t know what those pigs would get up to without people like me and you.”

mel’s heart warms at this. sevika is so drunk that she’s starting to get sappy and sweet, and while it’s adorable, it’s clear that she needs to get home. but she’s glad that her effort isn’t going unnoticed, and she’s starting to really like sevika.

“of course.” she smiles again. “get some sleep for me, okay? don’t spend too much time with the stars.”

sevika curses herself for the warm feeling that wraps herself all around her, she hates that she’s being vulnerable and making friends. she just blames the feeling on the alcohol, but she knows that it’s not. because that light, warm feeling clings itself to her every time she sees mel.

it happens again when they coincidentally cross paths, mel on her way outside for some fresh air and sevika on her way to her room to sign papers until her fingers bleed. but she realizes for the first time that mel is so beautiful. she hasn’t spotted sevika yet, but the sunlight glowing in from the windows catches her golden streaked skin perfectly, and she’s shining. it’s like she’s a real life star, and sevika can’t peel her eyes away.

“oh, hi sevika.” mel grins.

“um… hi.” she responds, her heart suddenly beating faster than usual. “where are you going?”

“just outside. been cramped up inside all day and the smell of my paints are starting to give me a headache.”

“you paint?” sevika asks, although to anyone else the answer would be obvious.

“yeah, all the time. i’d love to show you someday.” she offers, already knowing that she’s gonna have to drag sevika by the arm and force her to visit.

“okay… yeah, that would be nice.” she says.

“what are you doing right now?” mel asks.

“i just have a lot of paperwork to fill out, letters to write, things to sign, you know how it is.”

“will you stop by later, then?”

“are you gonna make me?”

“probably. if you don’t show up by yourself.”

“alright, see you later then.”

——

sevika is dreading this outing. the more times she thinks about going back over to mel’s, the more anxious she gets. every time she’s been over there the past month, she’s ended up either drunk or blabbering on about stuff that doesn’t matter. or worse— drunk and blabbering. she always finds some way to make a fool of herself, and she doesn’t know how to stop. she just wishes it wasn’t so easy to open up to her, wishes that mel wasn’t so damn likable.

mel already knows she’s gonna have to drag sevika over to come look at her paintings. she always does. no matter how many times she tells the woman to come on her own terms, she finds herself stomping down to sevika’s door and forcing her to hang out. it’s cute, in mel’s mind, it’s like a date. so that’s what she finds herself doing tonight. cleaning up her suite a little, spinning one of her jazz records, and marching down to collect sevika.

she’s arranged her paintings in no particular order, but the array is beautiful. some are framed, some are smaller than others, some of them aren’t even finished. sevika feels so moved by this. she’s never seen anything so beautiful. not anything in real life, not mel herself, not even the stars are as beautiful as her paintings.

mel sits her down on the loveseat, pouring two glasses of wine and sitting down next to sevika, but sevika begs her to talk about her paintings. she’s dying to know how anyone could make anything look more beautiful than the stars. mel blushes at that compliment— it’s a lot coming from sevika for multiple reasons— but she decides that now it’s her turn to open up.

they sit an chat for hours, and before long, sevika feels as if she knows mel like the back of her hand. she now knows about jayce and viktor and what happened to them, about ambessa, her mother, the noxians, and the rest of her family. sevika’s oddly surprised. of course, she’s aware that mel is probably the strongest woman she knows, but she never would’ve guessed that she’s been through that much.

mel cries a bit, and sevika cries too, and they laugh about their emotions like old friends. for once in her life, sevika feels like maybe not everything sucks, and that maybe it’s okay to let herself fall for someone. she just hopes that mel feels the same way.

“sevika?” mel asks, still catching her breath after a fit of giggles.

“yeah?” she smiles.

“will you dance with me?”

“i don’t dance.” sevika says, laughing at the image of her dancing with someone. how silly.

“aww, come on! it’s just us and some jazz! you’ll be fine.” she reasons. “please?”

sevika rolls her eyes at mel’s outstretched hand, but she’s very tipsy and in a good mood, so how could she say no to the beautiful woman standing in front of her?

mel yanks her up by her arm, and sevika wastes no time following after her to the middle of the room where the big sky lights let the stars shine in. sevika scowls and tenses up a bit, but mel wraps her arms around sevika’s waist so gently, guiding sevika’s arm to press against her back. mel sways them back and forth a bit, and sevika soon loosens up and stares down at mel with a smile that puts all of the stars to shame.

“do you ever miss your arm?” mel asks.

“yeah, sometimes. i miss the one jinx made for me, i wish i didn’t take it for granted.” she responds, her mood quickly turning sad against her will.

“i could have one made for you.” mel offers.

sevika shakes her head and flattens her lips into a straight line. “they won’t let me have one on the council.”

it’s mel’s turn to roll her eyes now. “no, i’ll make you one that they’ll accept. they always listen to me, you know.” she grins.

“i guess that would be alright, as long as it’s not much of a hassle.”

“for you? nothing’s a hassle. don’t be silly.”

sevika’s eyebrows pull together in the middle and she pouts, tears quickly filling her eyes. nobody’s ever been this nice to her before. offering her a new limb, protection from the ruthless comments from the council, good wine, and a dance underneath the stars. she can’t help but cry, but she’s not afraid to anymore. with mel, she feels safe enough to be this vulnerable.

mel notices her sad expression, and she silently prays that she didn’t accidentally offend sevika, it’s the last thing she’d ever wanna do. “oh, what’s wrong? did i—”

sevika cuts her off with a kiss. she doesn’t wanna hear any apologies from mel, not after she’s been a literal angel to sevika this past week. mel’s lips are warm and welcoming, they taste sweet, like if gold was a flavor. she reaches her hands up and cradles the back of mel’s head, deepening the kiss.

mel is completely taken aback by this. she didn’t know that sevika had feelings for her. actually, she thought that sevika was sick of her. but she kisses sevika back, her lips are big and pouty and oh so soft. she also gets to feel sevika’s piercing up close, and the cold metal drags against the bottom of her lips ever so slightly. it’s a stark contrast, but a comforting one at that.

one thing leads to another, and they’re quickly back on the loveseat, lapping at each others tongues and giggling like kids and holding hands. sevika’s had tons of sex before, sure, but nothing comes close to this. she feels so special, so cared for, that she notices this strange, giddy feeling bubbling up in her chest.

little does she know, that feeling is called love.

she pins mel down to the seat, both of them breathless and high on this mysterious feeling— although it definitely has something to do with the liquor— and sevika almost cries again when mel spreads her legs beneath her white gown. the warm lamplight mixed with the starlight causes her to glow again, like she’s on fire, so sevika can’t help but kiss all over the gold patterns that paint her skin.

mel erupts into another fit of giggles, holding sevika’s shocked face in her hands. sevika tenses up slightly at her touch, but takes a deep breath and swallows all of her anxiety.

“can i?” sevika asks.

mel smiles and nods. “of course. you can do whatever you want to me.”

sevika shudders and reaches up mel’s dress, caressing her stomach and hips. mel is soft and malleable under her touch, and she’s golden. she reaches forward to tug her dress above her hips. sevika doesn’t think she’s ever seen such a beautiful sight, and mel absolutely adores sevika’s awestruck face.

the same golden markings that paint her face also trail down her abdomen, all the way to her ankles. there are thick streaks of gold that mirror each other on each side of her torso, twisting themselves into swirls and shapes. she also has small golden freckles littering her body, identical to the ones on her face. they look like stars.

best of all, as if sevika wasn’t already turned on enough, she has small, golden hairs that trail down from just beneath her belly button, only stopping when they crown her dripping hole. this woman is made of pure magic, and if sevika doesn’t get her mouth on her within the next millisecond, she thinks she might faint.

mel grabs sevika’s hand when she notices her hesitation, and this makes her snap back into the moment and start eating mel out. she starts slow, just some teasing, soft licks to her clit that make her shiver. mel moans so sweetly and beautifully and sevika feels like she’s floating.

sevika grips mel’s hand harder and harder as she keeps eating her out, and it’s times like these that she wishes she has two hands. one to hold mel’s with, and one to feel inside of her, pumping her full of her thick fingers. mel arches her back and thrusts up into sevika’s face, and they both nearly cum on the spot.

she pulls back for a second, a string of white slick connecting itself to sevika’s lips before dripping down her chin.

“sev, you’re doing so good, baby.” mel praises. “don’t stop, i’m so close.”

sevika speeds up her movements, determined to make mel cum. her big, silver eyes squeeze shut as her mouth works it’s magic, sucking on her clit and running her pointed tongue between mel’s folds to collect her slick.

but she doesn’t cum until sevika wraps her lips around her clit again, her piercing colliding with mel’s throbbing clit as she tips over the edge. a low whine is pulled from her throat, and sevika pulls back to admire the woman above her. mel yanks sevika up by her shirt, thanking her with a deep kiss. some of sevika’s lipstick is smudged, so mel wipes it off with her thumbs, as well as the wet slick that’s smeared all over her face.

sevika is suddenly very aware that she doesn’t need shimmer anymore, because she feels like mel’s sweet nectar is enough to get her high.

“i’m gonna need that new arm as soon as you can get it.” sevika says with her lips smashed against mel’s. “need to show you what else i can do.”

——

it’s been three weeks since then, and sevika’s been coming over every night. she still has lots of work to do, but mel helps her with all of it. they sort through tall stacks of paperwork, taking turns sitting on the others lap and pouring each other more wine. sometimes they get distracted with sex, but they try their hardest to stay focused. occasionally mel will bring out her paints and work on something new, forcing sevika to stay focused while she’s at work.

they also spend their mornings together. if they don’t wake up in the other’s arms, they’ll sleepily march down to their door and bang on it until they reunite and hold each other again.

but this morning, sevika wakes up in mel’s bed alone. she reaches out for the woman with her arm, but that side of the bed is just cold and empty. sitting up, she glances around the room until she spies mel in her silky white cloak painting on the balcony.

“mel?” she asks groggily. “why’re you up so early?”

“just had to finish something, love.” she responds, smiling at her girlfriend’s half awake state. “you can go back to sleep if you’d like.”

“can i at least see what you’re working on?”

“not yet.” she smiles. “it’s a surprise.”

sevika groans and turns around to go back inside, but mel catches her arm and yanks her back for a kiss. sevika kisses over each of mel’s golden freckles, and then her lips, then her nose, her forehead, chin, and then lips again, before returning inside. mel giggles and tries to swat sevika’s back before she gets away, but she’s too slow and the effort is wasted.

back inside, sevika grabs onto mel’s pillow and stuffs her face into it, bringing a familiar comfort that lulls her back to sleep. she’s shaken awake a few hours later, though. it’s mel, very gently rattling sevika’s shoulder while caressing her hair. “sevika, babe, wake up.” she whispers.

“mmmmh?”

“i have a present for you.”

“hmmmm?”

“wake up so you can open it.”

“ughhhhh.”

“oh, please. don’t be so pouty. i want you to see it! quickly, quickly!” she urges, yanking sevika back to the balcony. the sun is slightly higher in the sky now, some of the orange in the sky is still fading away but the sky is painted in a light yellow color, it matches mel a little bit.

she hands her a giant white box with mel’s name on it, a small golden bow sitting directly on the top. “what is this?” sevika asks.

“open it and see!” mel smiles.

so she does. she flips the lock on the box and pulls it open, a smooth, golden arm staring back at her.

“what is this?” sevika asks again, this time in disbelief. she couldn’t tell how serious mel was about acquiring a new arm for her, so she didn’t think she’d be receiving a new one this quickly, or one this pretty.

it’s a lot more modern compared to her other two arms that she’s had in the past. it has a matte gold casing all around it, with shimmery gold patterns that resemble mel’s carved into it. it has all five fingers, but they’re not as pointy, more resembling her human fingers than her past arms. sevika is overcome with emotions, and she turns around to pull mel in for a hug, hiding her tears on her shoulder.

“do you like it?” mel asks.

“i love it.”

“will you teach me how to put it on you?”

“of course.” sevika promises, and with that, mel tugs her inside and makes her sit and show her. it takes a bit of fumbling. sevika isn’t great at explaining things, but she also can’t do much with only one arm, so lots of trial and error occurs during the process. but eventually it’s all screwed in, and the first thing sevika does is pull mel in for a real hug.

mel never really realized how strong sevika is, and how crushing her hugs are. at least, not until now. she knows that sevika can hold her somewhat tightly, but one arm doesn’t do much. now that she as two arms though, mel is struggling to breathe with the way sevika is crushing her. or maybe it’s just because sevika wants to show her girlfriend some love. and she’s definitely not crying.

“i have one more thing.” mel says, although most of it gets muffled by sevika’s chest.

“what is it?” she asks.

“come outside and look.”

sevika follows her outside, grabbing onto mel’s elbow with her new hand.

“close your eyes.” mel says, so sevika squeezes her eyes shut and tries her hardest not to peek. mel dashes over to retrieve the painting on her canvas that’s now fully dry, and then she holds it to face sevika.

“okay, now open them.”

she opens her eyes to see mel holding one of her new paintings— the one she wasn’t allowed to see yet. but now she’s aware of why she wasn’t allowed to see it, because the painting is of her.

it’s sevika. hunched over at mel’s desk with her reading glasses on and a pen in her hand, a glass of wine half empty on the table next to her. the colors in the painting are very warm, likely resembling the warm lamps that decorate mel’s suite. and the most surprising thing— there’s a smile on sevika’s face.

it’s not something she’s ever seen on herself before. for one, she’s never been one to smile in general, it’s just not something she was ever used to doing. photographs are also very rare in zaun, so the only way she could’ve seen it on herself is by smiling in front of a mirror, which is even more rare.

sevika doesn’t even know how to feel. she should cry, because nobody has ever been this kind to her before, and she’s overwhelmed with emotions from the arm, the painting, and just being around mel.

she should also be happy. nobody has ever understood her as much as mel does, and she feels so honored to be seen in her artistic lense. she should be glad that she gets to live up here, where everything is safe and pretty and valuable. she’s also still half asleep, and can’t exactly tell if she’s dreaming or not.

“what do you think?” mel asks after a while.

“i don’t know what i did to deserve this.” sevika says honestly. “is there some kind of special occasion that i don’t know about? or are you just spoiling me.”

“well, mostly the latter,” mel laughs. “but it is our one month anniversary, if that counts for anything.”

“i didn’t get you anything.” sevika frowns, suddenly feeling way out of mel’s league, almost insecure.

“that’s alright.” mel smiles. “your presence is enough.”

sevika rolls her eyes and manages a smile too, yanking mel forward and giving her a sweet kiss. one month isn’t much, but it’s been the happiest month of sevika’s life, and things are starting to look up for her. for zaun, too.

“well,” mel starts, pulling away from sevika’s lips. “there is one small thing you could do for me.”

“and that is…?”

“model for me so i can paint you?” she asks with a happy shrug of her shoulders.

“now? but you just painted me.”

“yes, i’m aware.” she laughs. “but i haven’t painted your new arm yet, and that was from a few days ago but you just look so adorable today. please?”

sevika smiles too. how could she say no to mel when she asks so nicely? “alright, fine.” she agrees.

“good, and take all of your clothes off, too.”

sevika freezes. although mel has seen her naked hundreds of times, she suddenly feels shy.

“don’t worry, it’s just for us.” mel soothes. “lay on the bed and i’ll position you.”

so sevika is left no choice but to follow the orders she was given. she strips herself of her clothes— which is much easier now that she has two arms— and lays down on the bed, looking up at mel with her big, watery eyes. mel walks over and pushes her backward until she’s propped up with just one elbow.

“is this comfortable?” mel asks.

“uh… y-yeah.” sevika responds.

mel pries sevika’s legs open, positioning them apart so that she has a full view of sevika’s dripping cunt from her easel. sevika whimpers, her eyes widening and sparkling as she looks up at mel.

“don’t be shy.” mel teases. “it’s just me.”

“i know, sorry…” sevika says with a sigh, making a mental note to loosen up.

“are you ready for me to start? we’re probably gonna be here all day.”

“yeah. ready.” sevika responds.

“okay, let me know if you need a break.”

mel isn’t too fond of painting from models, but she can feel her opinion changing as she sculpts sevika with the paint. her legs are easy. long and thick, and she gets to mimic the way they’re pressed open.

her torso is next, which is one of her favorite things about sevika. her abs are hard and sturdy, but they get slightly softened out by the rolls of her stomach. then mel moves up to her tits, painting two perfectly pointed brown circles accented with thick, dark nipples.

her neck comes after, and then her arms, and finally her face. mel has memorized every little expression sevika has, so she has a lot to choose from, but she chooses the one that sevika is wearing right now. a goofy, lovestruck smile, adorned with a slight blush sparkling on her cheeks.

her eyes are also fun, they’re so big and sparkly and metallic, mel can’t help but paint stars in them. and of course, her nose, her tooth gap, her piercing, and her hair. they all come together to make up the most perfect face that mel has ever seen.

she moves on to the arms next, painting one with her thick muscles and her warm brown skin, and the other with a shiny gold. her shoulders are slightly slanted, and they have bite marks and hickeys carved into them, which makes mel immensely proud of herself.

and finally, sevika’s glistening cunt. she paints each fold tenderly, a small circle at the top covered slightly by a thin, fleshy hood. she paints the slick in between her thighs that just keeps collecting with her finest white and silver paints.

and of course, her bush, because she wouldn’t dare to forget it. she curls each stroke of her brush until it perfectly mirrors sevika’s thick, dark curls, and then she trails them all the way up her lower stomach.

she finishes the background next, but it’s not much. she doesn’t want anything to take away from sevika’s beauty. but she makes sure to add a few stars surrounding her of various sizes and shades of gold.

sevika has been surprisingly patient throughout the whole thing, mel predicted that she’d be begging for snacks only ten minutes in. but mel finishes quickly and she’s beaming with excitement as soon as she’s done.

“do you wanna see it?” she asks.

“you’re done already?” sevika replies.

“yeah. you’re an easy model.”

“okay, yeah, let me see.” sevika smiles.

mel lifts up the canvas and presents it to sevika, and it’s somehow even more beautiful than the other painting. mel captures her so beautifully, sevika is so honored to be viewed that way. for the first time in her life, she truly feels beautiful. and mel can tell that she feels that way too, through the tears that threaten to spill in her eyes.

and just as sevika is about to tackle mel to the bed too, she notices something in the bottom corner. in a shimmery gold writing, the words “my star. -mel m.” are painted. sevika looks up at mel with a questioning glance and asks, “what’s that?”

“it’s my signature. the title of the painting and my name.”

“‘my star’?” sevika reads off.

“yeah, because that’s what you are. you’re my star, sevika. you’re so beautiful and bright.”

and those words echo in sevika’s mind for the rest of time, especially when sevika pins mel down and rides her face into the pillow a few seconds later. she’s right. she is mel’s star, isn’t she.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Mission Control 25

Warnings: non/dubcon, violence, blood, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Captain Hydra

Summary: a man marches into your life on a mission

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You shiver in the front of the military grade truck. The back shifts as the soldier moves around in the cargo bed. You watched him lift his dusty motorcycle before he pointed you up to front. The heat is blasting but it’s not enough to cut through the frigid chill. 

You glance at the crooked cabin. You’re both happy and scared to leave this place. You examine the lumpy ground, wondering which rises and falls are traps, trying to pinpoint where you got yourself snared. 

The driver’s door swings open and jostles the whole truck. The soldier heaves himself into the seat and snaps the door shut. You turn your head straight as you feel him watching you. He frowns and twists the dial for the heat. It’s strange how he never seems to feel the cold. Then again, he isn’t the same as you. 

He grips the large wheel and steps on the gas. There’s no pretense in your flight. You wonder why though. Is it because of what he did there? Of that iron smell that won’t quite leave the floorboards? Or maybe it’s the constant cold and whistling winds? Do those things even affect him? 

He peels a hand away and gestures, a placid wave as if to calm you. You stare at him. He grabs the wheel again and his eyes stay on the road. He huffs. 

“I’ll try not to be afraid,” you say. 

He nods. That’s good enough. He doesn’t look concerned. He’s always rigid and alert but if he’s not geared up for a fight, then you won’t expect one. 

You cross your arms and try to relax. The seat is stiff and smells dingy. The motor is loud and the axle rattly. He steers with ease, with determination. Wherever you’re going, he won’t stop until you get there. 

The sky’s hue rolls from gray to slate to near pitch black. He drives on. He hands you a packet of trail mix and you nibble on it. Your eyes begin to droop and you yawn, fighting to stay awake. You flinch as he reaches to pet your head. 

He caresses behind your ear then flutters over your cheek. He’s giving you permission to sleep. You should at least cry. You close your eyes and lean against the quaking truck. You sink into a shallow trance, your racing mind stymied by your exhausted body. 

You feel the light change beyond your eyelids. You only lift them as the grayness turns almost white. You sit up as the engine continues its thunderous growls. You sit up and rub your cheeks. 

You look ahead at the large cedars dusted in frost. The truck chugs up the steady winding incline of the hills. The soldier’s gaze is set. He will not stop until you arrive. You sense that you’re close to wherever he means to be. 

He curves around a final deep swerve in the road and through the trees, you spot a peaked roof. He slows as he approaches the facade. It’s entirely unlike the place you just left. The ground is smooth and undisturbed, a layer of snow carpeting cut by the treads of the tires as they crunch through. 

The wooden exterior is trimmed in white as the flakes continue to swirl down. The rich brown planks frame large windows that let in the winter haze. You stare in disbelief. It looks... normal. More than that, it is luxurious. 

You draw around the back of the house, down a crooked side path, and he steers behind a cluster of trees. The shifter cranks as the truck jerks to a stop. The soldier kills the motor and rips the keys from the ignition. 

He gets out first. You wait for him before you dare. He helps you down in the clunky boots he offered. They’re much too big but you expect it’s not unintentional. Your injured leg requires a bit of extra space. As you step off the metal ledge and into the snow, he tuts. 

Before you can stop him, he has you in your arms. The boots hang precariously from your ankles. He carries you toward the back of the house. The back deck is littered in more snow. The house is dark within but not ominous like the backwoods hideaway of before. 

He stops to unlock the door. Another keypad. You can tell it’s newly installed. You have no doubt he is well prepared. He did not choose this place by chance. 

He carries you inside, stopping to kick his boots on the mat. You crane to see through the nearest archway that peeks into a large kitchen. No corrosion, no dust, no dingy stains. He presses on and only stops to set you on a cushy sectional cast in shadows. 

His footsteps stalk away and a light flicks on above. The iron chandelier with its crisscross arms is set with small round bulbs that give a soft glow to the space. You peer around in awe and confusion. How did he find this place? 

He paces the edge of the room, as if inspecting. He goes the large fire place and opens a hidden panel in the white brick. He tweaks the controls and flames pop to life. You gasp. He shuts the cover and turns to you. He stares expectantly. 

You sit forward, “it’s nice.” 

His expression eases and he nods. His fingers unfurl and he takes another glance around. His steps turn listless. 

“The stuff... it needs to come in?” 

He holds up his hand and stops you. He wags his finger. You recline and give a shrug, “alright, I’ll stay.” 

He drops his hand then marches out. You peek after him then make a face. This is... odd. You can’t complain about the upgrade but it’s still very unnerving. How long will this last? How long until the next place? 

The back door opens and closes, several times between the clomping of his thick soles. He continues in and out until finally he twists the latch back audibly. You want to get up and see what he’s doing in the kitchen and between the shuffling and shifting. You’re a bit too tired for that and the prospect of standing makes your leg pulse. 

When he appears again, he traces a mop along the edge of the rug, then returns with a broom to dust off the carpet. His boots are gone. He’s settling in. 

When he finishes cleaning the mess he trailed in, he comes to take off your boots too. He carries them away then scoops you up altogether. You squeal as the sudden rise brings you out of your stupour. 

“Captain?” You eke out. He falters and look at you. His eyes skim away thoughtfully and he shakes his head. “Sorry.” 

He exhales and carries you out of the room. His cheek twitches as he thinks. You didn’t mean to upset him. You don’t know what else to call him. He takes you upstairs, pausing so you can flip on another light, then strides confidently to a doorway. Another switch flicked up. 

He angles you through the door and presents the ivory and teal tile. The large basin tub stands centerpiece to the space and a wall of mirrors reflect it. It’s a lifestyle magazine worthy room. He sets you gently onto the clamshell lid of the toilet. He steps back and points to the tub. 

“Oh, uh, yes, I do feel a bit grimy.” 

He crosses the room and taps the fluffy cotton towel on the bar. Then the gestures to the bath shelf with all the bottles and jars. You can’t help but brace for the boot to drop on your head. 

You get up gingerly and limp over to him. He shies away as you do. You reach for his jacket and he shakes his head, catching your hands. He clings to them for just a moment before he guides them to your dress. 

“Alone?” You ask. 

He nods. 

“Okay,” you slip free of his touch. You back away and turn to peer into the tub. You sway as the porcelain calls to you. A nice, clean bath. “Um,” you spin to face him as he heads for the door, “wait.” 

He stops in the frame and stiffly turns back. Your heart races as you search for the courage to ask. You remember the stories, the legends of what he once was. Maybe he’s still there. 

“Can I call you Steve?” 

He flinches as if you slapped him. You suck in air and cover your mouth. Oh no, you’ve gone too far. You stare at each other as he trembles slightly. He tilts his head as his hands fidget on his belt. 

He slowly raises his hand and taps his ear. You shake you’re head, confused. You lower your arms. “I’m sorry--” 

He stomps and tugs his lobe before gesture a beak with his hand. His eyes blaze at you. You twine your fingers through each other. “Steve.” 

His brows rise and he takes half a step before stopping himself. He nods. Pauses. Nods again. Then he just goes. He leaves you alone with the echo of his name. 

[asarigg]

Inside the Character's Mind: Part 6

CHILDHOOD. SLY AND KOUJAKU. THE AVOIDANT BEHAVIOR: part 3

As if all that wasn’t already enough, at the end of the Re:connect, this happens. Aoba thinks to himself that this is not what Koujaku wanted, as much as Sly wants to think that it is, that he’s in the right. As if what he has done has helped the Koujaku inside, the one who’s like him, the true Koujaku, to come out. As if they could be free inside that cell.

Koujaku reacts to Aoba’s thoughts. Sly thinks for a moment that it’s his imagination, but when Aoba repeats his thoughts, Koujaku says his name. Koujaku, who despite not having articulated a single word all this time, weeks, months, says his name as soon as Aoba “speaks”, that’s what I’m talking about when I mention their spiritual connection, that’s how strong it is. It happening after such a different sex scene, where neither of them can say no, nor show any kind of rejection, is just a reminder that they are both locked away, suffering, and that they will stay there watching this happen day after day until the day they die, not being able to see, or touch, or call each other’s names, or say “I love you” or anything they once wanted to say. They can only just watch each other wither away.

These thoughts of “This isn’t what Koujaku wanted” are very interesting because just like Sly thought, Koujaku really wanted Aoba to accept and love him. But the last thing he wants is having Aoba reciprocate him just because that’s what Koujaku wants. He’d rather be rejected, and even die in the extreme case of the situation hurting Aoba, than having him living something he doesn’t really want, that he doesn’t feel in his heart. Giving himself to Koujaku letting him do whatever he wants without thinking twice, without thinking about his own wishes. A life that doesn’t respect Aoba’s wishes is a nightmare for him. Just like he says in the confession scene “All I can remember is that I didn’t want to touch you like that”.

I mentioned that they don’t treat the tattoo as something that changed Koujaku, but as someone else inside his mind. When Sly appears before him, Koujaku immediately knows that he’s not Aoba, but has a hard time believing it, because physically he’s the same but white. He doesn’t know what’s going on, he can’t process it, but he knows. And the thoughts that tell him that the man in front of him is not Aoba are in red, like someone else’s, with some lowercase and some uppercase, growing more intense as the madness and anger of his tattoo reflects through. Doesn’t it remind you of how Sly’s thoughts appeared in the middle of the screen when Aoba was in charge?

Sometimes I wonder what Sly’s real intention was here. In theory he wants to break Koujaku and bring out the beast because that’s the part of Koujaku that he sees himself reflected in, that destructive entity, his darkest, true side, his pure animal instinct. Exactly what Sly is.

But he still tells the sane Koujaku that he loves him and wants to convince him that he’s Aoba. If that had worked then what would he do next? Because he truly believes that’s what he wanted to hear, and when the narration returns to his point of view he tells us that his love for Koujaku is true. Obviously locked in a cell it would be difficult for anyone to believe him, and Sly wouldn’t get him out of there anyway when he wants to keep Koujaku for himself. But then why does he keep trying to convince him, over and over again, even when Koujaku still doesn’t recognize him as Aoba any time he wakes up? Would he have been satisfied with a sane Koujaku, with those restrictions he hates, just because he accepted his words? It’s only when he sees that Koujaku won’t buy it, no matter what he tells him, that he changes his strategy.

And it’s in this scene that we see Koujaku in control for the last time, and again the last thing he says before losing his mind is Aoba’s name. This ending makes us see how Koujaku once again enters a cycle of abuse. He has gone from being his father’s slave, to Ryuuhou’s, and now Sly’s, and he will probably never get out of that cell alive. He no longer has prayer beads protecting him, only chains imprisoning him.

Sly is aware of what he has done, and he believes that since he has destroyed Koujaku’s consciousness/spirit, it’s only fair that he is the one to destroy his body, not only fair but it even seems like an attractive idea, to die at his hands (Sly try not to be Ryuuhou challenge). I really like this dialogue where Sly tells Koujaku that he can tear off his flesh if he wants, on the condition that he stays. Staying with him, a reflection of his desire to feel loved, accepted, after so many years of abandonment. After hearing Koujaku speak back to Aoba, it must feel like a punch to the stomach to think for a moment that he’s wrong with what he’s chosen for the two of them, to think that Koujaku doesn’t really love him.

Having him locked in a cage somehow is perfect to prevent the slightest chance of Koujaku walking away, as well as keeping him in this state, unable to speak, unable to think, unable to reject him. It’s because of these things that I usually think that at least at the beginning the relationship with Koujaku in a good ending would be quite turbulent. He would like to flirt with Koujaku, but when he realizes that he really feels love for him, he feels vulnerable, weak, and needs to protect himself because the people who were supposed to always be with him and protect him, abandoned him. And Koujaku somehow “abandoned” him once too. So before exposing himself to that, he would rather push Koujaku away. Sly would always come back to him, because as much as he wants to walk away he can’t, he needs Koujaku to stay by his side. It doesn’t matter if it’s love or hate, Sly will take it because it’s intense, real and raw.

Fun fact: Sly and Beast Koujaku both have golden eyes, when they “transform”. Everyone has those three sides of their conscience but Aoba’s just have a distinct personality and identity each, which I think might lead to thinking that beast Koujaku might have a personality of his own. I think he’s somewhere in between, he’s obviously not like them, but he’s definitely his own entity. Like some kind of natural force, like rain, wind, the energy of the cosmos, possessing him, something more abstract than a spirit or god, which we usually see as human or animal-like appearance wise.

The first thing that strikes us when we see Aoba is that his design radically changes. When Sly takes control of his body it’s not like he suffers any physical changes, besides the shine of his eyes, however here he turns completely white. The only time we see something like that happen is when we see the true forms of Sei and Aoba, but those black marks don’t appear. This is what makes me wonder if the white color has something to do with those forms, as if it were some kind of symbolism of Sly “breaking free” and being himself, without restrictions, without Reason, but they don’t add the black marks to not spoil it, or because it looks like shit with the design, or because it simply has nothing to do with that.

The white color is the color of death, mourning, the color with which the deceased are dressed. A sterile color, without impurities, highly related to the spiritual world. Many white flowers are commonly used in funerals, usually Buddhist, such as the white chrysanthemum, used for its meaning of truth and sincerity. Aoba wears a white kimono and also gives one to Koujaku. These traditional elements could be there just to remember Koujaku but nothing in this document could ever be simple of course.

The hair of a dead person is considered to turn white after a certain period of time, meaning that the hair is no longer a source of impurities, it can't be possessed by an evil spirit, and can be transported beyond the border that marks the separation between the sacred realm of the dead and the ordinary world of the living.

His skin, his characteristic blue hair, his eyes and his clothes turn completely white because at this point Aoba is no longer there. Not in a literal sense, of course, but in a figurative sense, Aoba is dead. And this is basically the same thing that happens with Koujaku. They are both reborn, destroyed, spiritually dying so that something else can be created, the ID, the instinct of destruction, the two beasts freed from the bodies that held them prisoners.

His clothes in general resemble those of a Miko, with a more “fantastical” and sexualized appearance. This post talks about it as well. Again it’s a reference to the spiritual realm, their religious side and how Aoba/Sly is an object of devotion, of how Aoba is somewhat a channeler for Koujaku. Just like there are rituals that call the gods to our world, like I’ve said in the section about hair, which serves as a connection with gods, Aoba is the only thing that connects Koujaku with this world, the only reason why he’s still alive.

[maxdibert]

The only thing I want to make clear is that I don’t think Severus was a better person than James Potter, nor is my problem with James Potter about proving he was a hundred times worse than Severus Snape. My problem with James Potter is that he was a piece of shit, and many people constantly try to justify his actions through victim-blaming and body-shaming, which deeply gets on my nerves.

My problem with James Potter is that it’s perfectly fine to acknowledge that the guy was a privileged rich brat who used that privilege to bully and mess with people at school, surrounded by his buddies like any average bully who couldn’t stand up for himself because he lacked the guts. My problem with James Potter is that the guy clearly had sadistic tendencies, and his fans are constantly trying to deny it or rewrite his character as if he were some playful and friendly pup when he clearly wasn’t.

I mean, Severus was a messed-up guy, and I like him for being that way. He was a bastard and had a shitty personality, but I think we’re all aware of that. Some people don’t forgive him; others like him precisely because of it. Nobody denies it, folks—he wasn’t a good person, and that’s okay. We like him for not being one. What’s not so cool is constantly denying that, yes, he was a victim of bullying, and no, he didn’t deserve that bullying, and no, James Potter wasn’t some kind of vigilante. He was just a rich kid, Draco Malfoy-style, acting like a complete asshole, targeting those he considered weaker to subject them to violence.

If Severus can’t be considered a hero because, despite the good things he did, he also did bad things, then neither can James Potter. Because joining a group of people fighting against evil doesn’t erase the fact that you were an abuser. Getting married and having kids doesn’t erase the fact that you were an abuser. The only thing that can reintegrate you into society after being an abuser is acknowledging that you were one, seeking help to change your behavior, and, most importantly, sincerely apologizing to your victims and compensating them for the harm caused. And he didn’t do that, so he remains an abuser.

You won’t see me saying, "James was worse than Severus," because that’s not the point or the issue. You’ll always see me simply saying that James was a piece of shit, period. The difference with other characters who were also pieces of shit is that people don’t deny it, but in James’s case, they do. So, I feel a moral obligation to remind people of it over and over again so the point doesn’t get lost.

[yellowocaballero]

a while back you mentioned having written ~40k of a steven moon knight fic as well as some of a frenchie fic? i was just wondering if those would ever be posted/shared or if they will stay in google docs superhell forever (also love your work!! your star wars swap au i particularly enjoyed as well as the tma evilcon + associated fics) best of days to you !!

Look at this evilcon fan over here. Deep fucking cut.

Ah, yes I have. The 40k fic was written for Marvel Trumps Hate, and I didn't post it due to some vaguely complicated but not altogether important reasons. The Frenchie fic was the unfortunate victim towards me very abruptly falling out of MK, lmfao. I think all of my fandoms have The One Abandoned Fic that I was working on when I just Got Over the fandom (Human Relations sequel, so cruelly abandoned....).

Kind of a shame, since the Frenchie fic was not bad and just got kinda roadblocked at the end. I've tossed around maybe finishing it when MKS2 comes out and I inevitably get sucked back in. I don't want to post the MTH fic on AO3 right now (maybe in the future when MKS2 comes out and I get sucked back in etc) but there's honestly no reason not to show you...I think...looking back over this, I think I may have decided that the fic's sense of humor was just too insane. It's very.......uh.....

Uh, ok, just between you and me and other people reading this then. It's a fic about a normal guy who thinks that schizophrenia makes you immortal and autism gives you superpowers.

I'll put it in a follow-up post. In the meantime here's the first few scenes from the Frenchie fic. I really do wanna finish this one day....

“A phone call?”

The jackal barked in elderly confusion.

Steven leaned back in his chair, scratching his stubble. Jake was insisting that they experiment with facial hair and it was best to let him have these little victories. “Well, under the human American law each citizen is entitled to a phone call if they get arrested. That’s probably what he means.” The jackal barked dismissively. “Have you tried telling him that?” The jackal barked again, aggravated. “I see. Quite a pickle. Well, I don’t see any harm in giving him the call. We’d have to warn him that this is a faux legal system and that he’s not entitled to any lawyers, but perhaps he could tell his wife he won’t be home for dinner? That would be nice.”

The jackal growled. 

“We could be nice,” Steven said reproachfully. 

The jackal barked again.

“If you really think about it, nothing’s stopping us. Masters of our own fates and whatnot, right? Well - yes, yes, I know the gods are the masters of our fates, that’s not quite - look, sir, there’s no point in worrying a man’s wife unnecessarily, is there? How would your wife feel if you disappeared off the mortal plane?” The jackal hung its head, and Steven sighed as he stood up. “I’ll lend him my mobile.” The courthouse only had landlines, and even then that was iffy. Magical ancient Egyptian constructs still struggled with 4G. “But if he messes about with my Twitter then we’re adding another thousand years onto his sentence.”

Situations like this were why Steven still showed up to work. This zoo often struggled at little things like this without him. The place had gone to the jackals while he was gone - literally, they had taken over many administrative positions - and it would take months just to clean up the wreckage. Steven didn’t mind - nothing made him happier than a good little routine. Ten to two, that was his preference. Downright inhumane to make a man work any longer than four hours a day. He had even scheduled a deli or restaurant to visit for lunch each day of the week. And Marc and Jake were not allowed. Steven only zone. A man’s office was his castle. Besides - if they knew what he got up to all day they might complain about it. 

The two were deeply asleep - Jake because he found Steven’s entire life dull as dirt and Marc because all of the mandated socialization they were doing lately really took it out of him. Steven found it delightful. Jake’s friends were really nice once you got to know them, and you could reliably get a pained expression out of any of them once you told them so. Marc found their whole thing exhausting and if Jake wasn’t entertained he wanted to die, so around noon the two slept like Alexander the Great’s mummy. Might as well build them little tombs. That was cute. Steven knew exactly what his own tomb would look like. He was practically a pharaoh and everything - maybe Khonshu would make sure he got one? No, Khonshu didn’t care about them nearly that much. Boy, but wouldn’t that be nice.

He gave the Bast statue guarding the elevator its usual nose pat, he smiled and waved at the lumbering shabtis, and he stopped and said his usual ‘hello how are you how’s Nephthys Osiris talking to you again yet’ to the Set statue as the jackal gave him the stink eye for holding them up. Kindness was key, Mr. Jackal. Steven believed in positive Steven-god relations. He lived in hope that the other gods would model good behavior for Khonshu and eventually sway him into becoming less of a dick. 

The ibis perched adorably in a little booth checked his identity as it picked up a little visitor’s badge with his beak and dropped it into Steven’s outstretched hand. It pecked at the computer keyboard a few times, accomplishing nothing other than mangling the G and H keys, and a series of papers ground out of the ancient fax machine. Steven cautiously reached over and fetched the papers, scanning them. They were details of the prisoner’s case, which made Steven feel a bit like one of the Forbidden Lawyers. The jackal led him down the winding paths of the jail as Steven fumbled in his pocket for his glasses, squinting down at the pages. 

“Well, this doesn’t seem too nasty,” Steven announced. “I’m sure we can get this sorted out. Certainly not a problem for our Jake, eh?” He looked at the jackal out of the corner of his eye. “Eh?” The jackal did not respond. “Right?”

Steven made the executive decision that this was a bureaucratic issue and therefore not a Marc or Jake issue. They’d just over-involve themselves and pretend they knew anything about the fake legal system. Marc and Jake were like baby brothers playing video games with you on an unplugged controller. They needed to feel like they were doing something or they’d throw a hissy fit. 

The jackal didn’t have to stop and point out the prisoner. Steven could hear him from all the way down the hall: empathetic, pointed, and incessant French patter. The man sounded like he was arguing against a parking ticket, which displayed a disappointing lack of cognizance as to the severity of his situation and the high likelihood that he was about to experience extrajudicial horrors beyond his imagining. 

Poor guy. Imagine being from France. 

For the first time in Steven’s life his shaky French that he could not actually remember learning but that Marc and Jake did not know actually came in handy. As he got closer he could more or less puzzle out what the fast talking man was saying to the two unamused and unswayed jackals. Could the jackals speak French? It had to be some magic thing. The only animals around here who could actually talk to the humans and explain to them what was happening were the baboons, and they were never polite about it.

“ - one little call! That is it! I will never darken your doorstep again, I swear it. One phone call - and, maybe, letting me go! We can talk about it, let’s talk about it! You and I, we are reasonable men - jackal, I am a reasonable man and you are a reasonable jackal - unless you are a woman? Are you a woman? You are still a jackal at any rate. You are a very reasonable gendered jackal, and I am innocent of all crimes - and even if you are a nongendered jackal, I do not judge, I have friends of all kinds - if you give me one phone call I may call one of my friends and he can help, I am certain he is friends with very many of you people -”

The man cut off the second Steven walked into view of his cell. The cells were very basic, with only a cot and a toilet and one wall of metal bars. He was standing up against the bars, fighting with the two unamused jackals standing against the cement wall in the hallway. The man’s head jolted away from the jackals and fixed on Steven, forgetting his captive audience entirely. His slicked back hair was frayed and mussed, gelled strands sticking up every which way, and his blonde mustache twitching in surprise as his eyes widened.

Steven was sympathetic. Human prisoners were always shocked to find a real bloke around the place. 

He waved a bit awkwardly, his reading glasses flopping in the air. In shaky and awkward French, he said, “Bonjour! My name is Steven Grant. And you are…” He shoved his glasses on, squinting down at the intake form. “Jean-Paul Duchamp?” He pronounced it ‘Jean Paul Dew-Champ’, and judging from the man’s twitch he had mangled it. Oh well. “Right. Do not worry, everything will be fine. You wanted a phone call? I have a phone for you.”

The man stared at him. Steven silently suffered this. He knew he was attractive. 

Finally, the man said in accented but thankfully perfect English, “I have changed my mind. May I speak with you in private, Monsieur Grant?”

The three jackals barked simultaneously. Steven rolled his eyes. Honestly! He knew he was the Avatar of Khonshu now, they didn’t need to be like that! “I don’t think that’s allowed. For security reasons and all. Not that there’s anything you could possibly do to me.” A grizzled jackal with one eye barked. “Emotional - hey! I would have you know that my Myers Briggs said I was the resilient type!” Steven considered the matter for a second. “Oh, but I did have a bad horoscope today. Maybe you’re onto something. Do we have any augurers on staff?”

“Excuse me,” Jean-Paul butted in, increasingly wild eyed, “Do you care to explain what is going on, Monsieur Grant? Because the only explanation I’ve received so far was from paperwork on papyrus and a rude baboon.”

Why was he saying his name like that? The French were so weird.  Steven leaned down slightly to whisper in the nearest jackal’s ear. “And he must have been really bad if a French guy is calling him rude.” The jackals cackled. Jean-Paul’s eye twitched. “Never fear, Mr. Duchamp. I’m sure we can get this whole thing sorted out before supper. Let’s review the details of your case, shall we?” 

“What case?”

“Oh, you’re in an ancient Egyptian courthouse for ancient Egyptian crimes,” Steven said vaguely, sliding on his reading glasses and flipping through the pages again. “Yes, the Egyptian gods are real, no they are not aliens, you better believe in ghost stories Ms. Swan you’re in one, etcetera. Alright, alright…I see…ah! There we are! Charged as accessory to one count of tomb raiding…oh, just a little asterisk here, let’s see what that’s all about…you stole from a children’s hospital!?”

“I did not know that is what we were doing!” Jean-Paul cried. “Someone tells me to fly a medical helicopter, I do not ask questions! If I made a habit of interrogating every one of my clients I would not have a great deal of clients, monsieur!”

“Organs from a -”

“It is called professionalism!” 

“It’s called evil!” Steven said, appalled. The jackals barked in agreement. “I have to say, Mr. Duchamp -”

“It’s doo-shamp. And John-Paul. Mon frere.”

Oh wow, oh no, sorry for the French microaggression. Honestly. “If it wasn’t for the fact that you betrayed your clients the second you discovered what they were stealing and refused to pilot them away you would be facing the same punishment they are. It’s quite karmic. Do you  know what Egyptian canopic jars are used for?” Jean-Paul looked a little queasy. “Exactly. Do you still want that phone call, Mr. Duchamp? You’ll receive your sentence from Thoth with or without it.”

“Then why give it to me?” Jean-Paul asked waspishly.

Steven shrugged. “I wouldn’t want your husband to worry.”

“Rest assured, I am quite single.” Jean-Paul stuck his hand out through the bars. “Give it here.”

Steven pulled up the phone function on his mobile and passed it to Jean-Paul, ignoring his thoughtful expression. He tried to convey ‘mess with my phone and I’ll mess with you’ through rigorous eyebrow tilting, but he knew he was very bad at it. 

Jean-Paul stepped back, swiping on the mobile. It did not look like he was punching in a number. Steven abruptly became anxious that he was snooping on Steven’s mobile. He had remembered to delete his text history with Layla, right? Right?!

He typed something on it before looking up, holding it up oddly to show Steven the screen before passing it back to him. “I changed my mind. No need for a call. Thank you for lending me your phone, monsieur, but it was unnecessary.”

The screen was open to the notes app. Steven abruptly felt like they were passing notes in class. Except not quite, because Steven was the Avatar of an Egyptian god and the other party was in jail for magic crimes. The note read -

marc what is the plan

Oh. Oh!

Steven looked up, and now he could clearly read the man’s irritated ‘why are you looking surprised, this is a matter of utmost secrecy’ eyebrow twitch. “Goodness, I’m so sorry. The egg is really on my face here, I’m so embarrassed.” He looked down at the jackal next to him, who twitched its ears attentively. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. It seems -”

Steven stopped short. 

This man knew Marc. He now knew Steven. Marc really, really, really hated it when this happened.

Marc had spent the vast majority of his life masking. His family had been big believers in the ‘never talk about it and pretend it doesn’t exist’ school of mental illness, which had resulted in a great deal of very terrible problems. Marc did not learn from any of these problems and continued to hide the DID from everybody he had ever met up to and including his own wife for a depressing yet impressive length of time. Steven hadn’t really agreed with the wife decision, because it was a slightly huge aspect of their lives that was very much Layla’s business, but Marc believed in privacy. Steven couldn’t fault him for that. 

It wasn’t anybody’s business if Marc didn’t want it to be their business and they were not Marc’s actual wife. Jake spouted off about shame and internalized ableism, which was undoubtedly true, but nobody was really entitled to his health information. He had the right to self-disclose when he wanted and to who he wanted. Steven only wished that this reasonable desire did not lead to sitcom-esque hijinks as they all switched mustaches and pretended to be each other. Sometimes literally. Jake had his whims.

Marc wouldn’t want this random pilot knowing personal stuff about him. He was probably just some colleague he had worked with one time and never saw again. And Steven was very dedicated to helping Marc and making his life easier, just like Marc was dedicated to helping Steven and making his life harder. Jake was dedicated to being a bully. 

Being involuntarily outed was traumatic for Marc. The last time it happened he fell asleep for four weeks and plunged Steven into a Jake induced nightmare. What if he went back to sleep? What if he never woke up this time? What if he left Steven alone with Jake forever? He couldn’t take that chance.

Marc didn’t have to find out about any of this. No point in stressing him out over nothing. 

In a stunning show of cunning, cleverness, and subtlety, Steven looked down at the jackal next to him. “Actually, can I talk with Mr. Duchamp in private? There’s some things we need to discuss.” The jackal asked what. “Human things.” The jackal asked why it had to be private. “They’re private human things.” Steven paused a beat. “Like periods. We’re going to talk about our periods.”

The jackals knew enough about humans to know that periods were private human things and not enough to know that cisgender men did not get periods. They gave him dubious looks anyway, but when Steven mimed yanking a crescent knife from his chest they obligingly filed out. The grizzled one-eyed jackal turned around and gave John-Paul a gimlet ‘I’m watching you’ eye, but John-Paul just sniffed and looked above it all. French people sure were good at looking snooty.

The second the jackals turned the corner and disappeared from sight Steven took a deep breath and changed. 

He straightened, folding his expression into a deep scowl. He tilted his head forward in Marc’s faux intimidating fashion and affected Marc’s terrible Chicago accent - which was just as fake as Steven’s very real to him British accent, thank you very much! Jean-Paul straightened too, eyes widening again.

“What the hell?” Steven demanded. Ugh. It was hell on the throat to talk like this. “How did you even get yourself into this mess?”

“Me? I am the one in the mess?” Jean-Paul stabbed a finger at Steven, who scowled deeper. “What was that? What is this? Why are you working for an ancient Egyptian courthouse under a false identity?”

“It’s a long story,” Steven snapped. It was really easy to avoid questions as Marc. You just had to be mean. “And it’s none of your business.”

“At this point I think it is very much my business! Jesus, Marc!” Jean-Paul exhaled deeply, rubbing his forehead in a forcible attempt at zen. “What is this, some sort of op? Are you undercover?”

“I said it was none of your business!”

“This is why you don’t run the ops,” Jean-Paul said. Steven was offended on Marc’s behalf. “I am impressed at your acting skills but not at your subtlety.”

“The usual, then,” Steven said wryly. “I’m impressed with your talent at getting arrested.”

“I get it, I get it. Marc Spector twenty, Jean-Paul fifteen. I swear, Marc, only you would get yourself in these predicaments.”

“You’re the one in the predicament. I’m doing fine.”

“My predicament is your predicament.” Why would that be true? He said it so casually, as if it was a given fact. Quite presumptuous of him, in Steven’s opinion. “At least now I don’t have to waste a hope and a prayer that you would pick up your phone this time. How are you going to get me out of this one? They have a giant baboon! Have you seen the baboon!”

“The baboon’s very understanding about my medical needs, so watch it.” Wait - had he wanted to spend his one phone call on Marc? Why? They were talented, cool, and altruistic, but… “Look, I’ll do what I can. But the gods aren’t exactly easy to argue with. I’ve tried to get them to overturn a sentence before and it failed miserably.”

“That’s the first time I’ve heard my friend try to do things the legal way.” Jean-Paul folded his arms. “Just bust me out. Isn’t that more your style?”

What a suck-up. Marc didn’t have friends. Steven smiled anyway, brittle and thin. “Don’t worry, Jean-Paul. I’ll do everything I can to help you. Just please try and understand the position I’m in.”

Jean-Paul stared at him. Steven forced himself to look the other man in the eyes even though it made him uncomfortable. Marc always stared down people he didn’t trust. 

“So, uh,” Steven said, “I better call the jackals back -”

“Please admit you do not know who I am.”

Steven froze. He opened his mouth, then closed it.

Jean-Paul sighed. He kneaded his forehead again, shoulders slumped, but something about the gesture had changed. My predicament is your predicament - what did that mean? “Why didn’t you say - non, non, you would have no reason. Marc, please listen to me.” He looked solidly at Steven, and Steven found himself looking away. “It’s Frenchie. I’m your friend. We met in Afghanistan and we’ve worked together ever since. You’re having another amnesiac episode. This happens to you sometimes and it is nothing to worry about. Do you believe me about this?”

Steven opened his mouth. He closed it.

He couldn’t help it - he hunched his shoulders, clutching at his sleeve and drawing away. “I don’t have friends. You’re lying.”

“Call up Layla and ask,” Jean-Paul said. His voice was even and steady, and it struck Steven oddly. The man was literally in a jail cell about to be Egyptian tortured and he was comforting Steven? Looking out for him in a mental health episode? Did the world contain two Lukes? “Do you know Layla? Your wife? Now there’s a thief for you. I am but a humble pilot in comparison.”

That cinched it. Marc would never tell anybody he didn’t trust about Layla. Much less about what Layla really did for a living.

But Marc didn’t trust anybody. Marc wasn’t supposed to trust anybody. That was Marc’s whole thing. He only trusted Steven and Layla. He only trusted Steven and Layla and - Frenchie? What kind of nickname was that? That was so stupid.

Marc was really bad at naming things. Movie poster, pilfered ID. Frenchie. Jeez.

Steven put it down. He let his shoulders hunch back into their natural slouch, bent his voice back towards its natural tilt, and dropped the mean expression. Despite himself, he groaned. 

“Marc’s going to kill me!” Steven wailed. “He’s going to go to sleep again and leave me with Jake!”

Jean-Paul recoiled, surprise turning into shock. Wow, wow, big surprise. Marc or Jake’s friends freaking out over Steven. Stop the presses.

“He’s gonna blame me for this, you know,” Steven cried. Not whined. Nope. “This is why he doesn’t trust me with anything. As if it’s my fault that his friends keep getting arrested? Maybe I should get a little more recognition for being the only one without delinquent friends. Honestly, I don’t know why we can’t keep better company sometimes. A book club? A Dungeons and Dragons group? Anybody who doesn’t punch people for a living? Is that too much to ask?”

“Hm,” Jean-Paul said. “Your dissociative episodes have grown stranger.”

“What were they like in the military?” Steven asked, morbidly curious. “Marc didn’t even mention amnesia episodes. He can be right frustrating, you know.”

Slowly and carefully, Jean-Paul said, “Do you remember the manic episodes?”

“We’re bipolar?” Steven asked blankly.

“That is what I thought. I do not think I was correct.”

Wait. “Did you think Jake was a manic episode?”

“Jake?”

“The other one,” Steven said helpfully.

“Ah. Yes, I think so.” Jean-Paul paused - not as if he was uncertain, but as if he wasn’t sure how the words would be received. “I understand DID is a very difficult disorder.”

Something tugged at the back of Steven’s mind, then yanked. Steven felt himself fall backwards, and something else surged in him -

*

Frenchie stood in front of Marc, right in every way, wrong only in the eyes - only in the way he was looking at Marc - 

Cautiously, he said, “Steven? You look dazed.”

Dazed. That was what he’d always call it. Whenever Marc zoned out and left his body, whenever Frenchie caught him wandering listlessly around camp with no memory of having even left bed - you look dazed, Marc -

“Do you ever get tired of your front row seat?” Marc asked hoarsely.

But Frenchie just smiled - a little cockily, a little kindly. “The view is quite good.”

Marc couldn’t do this. He never could, he could never do anything - but he couldn’t do this. Humiliation crushed him, Frenchie’s affection and acceptance its strange shadow. The shadow was worse than the weight. It was the shadow he couldn’t handle. He couldn’t handle this. 

He turned on his heel and left, leaving Frenchie alone in the cell with no promise of rescue and no aid given, and he found himself walking faster until he turned the corner. The jackals were still huddled like a football team growling thoughtfully at each other, and they perked up when they recognized Marc. He ignored them, walking through the crowd until they leapt away.

Marc’s walk turned into a run. A drum beat rocked his head, pushing hard at his heart. The beat threw him forward, turning his run into a sprint down the winding cement halls. His desperation reached out and thought of a word, and once he thought it he just couldn’t stop.

Jake. Jake. Jake! Jake, I can’t do it again - Jake - !

*

Marc woke up face first in Jessica Jones’ hair clutching a bottle of Jack.

He yelped, jerking away automatically and falling off the couch with a heavy jolt. The bottle jumped out of its hands, landing on the stained wood coffee table with a heavy thump and rolling against a bulwark of beer bottles. 

Marc bolted upright, ignoring his pounding head to take inventory of his surroundings. He relaxed the second he registered where he was. Heroes For Hire apartment. Morning. Luke Cage was passed out in an armchair, sawing wood. Colleen’s bra was draped across the back of a couch. Did these people do anything other than party?

Jessica flopped over, squinting blearily at him in the morning light. Cars honked outside and traffic blared, the sound cutting harshly into his throbbing head. Jessica waved a hand limply at him. She mumbled something that Marc could somehow translate into ‘what’s your problem?’. 

Nothing. No problem. Not right now, not here. Marc climbed back onto the couch, pushing Jessica aside to reclaim his spot. Amazingly, they were barely even cuddling - their couch was one of those IKEA types that you could just keep adding onto, it was fucking ginormous. He left the bottle of Jack on the table, whiskey slowly sloshing in the glass. Jessica went back to sleep immediately, her warm breaths pressed against his back.

The sunlight faded into night, then nothing. 

*

“ - and that’s why I wouldn’t fuck Mr. Fantastic unless Sue Storm was watching.”

Marc bolted upright.

“I left Frenchie in prison!” Marc cried. 

“Man, what kind of weird dreams are you having?” Danny asked. Marc could hear his voice from behind the couch, accompanied by the rattle of silverware and the hefty scent of bacon. “I can interpret it for you if you want. The prison’s probably a metaphor for -”

“Your psyche,” Colleen intoned. 

“That’s a bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Luke said.

Marc rolled off the couch again, slouching his way to the breakfast table and collapsing in his chair. Somebody put a bowl of cereal in front of him and began shoving it in his mouth. Everybody went back to ignoring him and resumed their conversation about the most fuckable superheroes. 

“Monica Rambeau at the top,” Misty said, for what sounded like the five hundredth time. “Very top. Except my girlfriend.”

“I’m the last heir of a samurai clan, not a superhero.”

“Very top. Monica Rambeau.”

“Do you think the Avengers have these conversations about us?” Danny asked Luke. “Like, they have to, right? I don’t think they’re above it.”

“They have mimosa brunches. Man, you know they do. I don’t want to know what the hell they say about me.”

“One time Hawkeye flirted with me and I snapped his bow over my knee,” Jessica reported. “It’s about controlling the narrative, Luke.” Marc’s hand reached out and swiped bacon off her plate, cramming it into his mouth. “Watch it, asshole!”

“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Luke told him, half-amused. “Who do we got today?” Marc glared at him balefully, but he held up the ASL finger sign ‘M’ anyway. “Good to see you, Marc. You’re the early bird, huh?”

“Jake was complaining about you yesterday,” Jessica told him gleefully, as if she was snitching on her classmate to the teacher for saying the b word. “He told us all about your intimacy issues. Is it true that you yearn for acceptance, yet are terrified of receiving it?”

“And why,” Marc gritted out between clenched teeth, holding his spoon at a vicious angle, “is Jake always telling you my goddamn business?”

“He likes to vent.”

“Then tell him to shut up next time.”

Misty scraped up eggs with her knife primly. “Five times a day seven days a week. Never listens.”

“Five people live in this apartment, there is no such thing as your own business,” Colleen said, dead-eyed. “I haven’t had privacy in a year.”

“It’s not that different from the monastery,” Danny said philosophically. “Smaller, though.”

“Drunker?” Misty asked.

“Not really.”

“Damn. Guess you had to do something without television.”

Marc’s grip on his spoon tightened so hard that his bones creaked. “Then you can just go tell Jake -”

Tell me yourself. 

“Shut up, Jake! You can all tell Jake that next time he decides to overshare -” Hissy fit ten minutes after waking up, new record. “I wouldn’t throw a hissy fit if you stopped doing shit just to piss me off!” You are an egomaniac. “That is so rich.”

“Still weird,” Misty decreed. 

“Yeah, still weird,” Colleen said.

Luke cut into his hash brown. “I’m just glad that they’re all talking again.”

“Totally glad that Jake’s back to his healthy, regular state of talking to himself,” Colleen said. “Maybe soon he’ll become normal and only serial kill on weekends.”

“I know none of you care about my personal drama,” Jake said flatly, “but would a little respect be so outta line for youse?” Jessica mumbled something around her egg. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, woman, have some self-respect.”

“Steven and I were talking about going to the zoo and looking at the sloths,” Danny said brightly. “Do you still want to do that? I want to see them so bad. All we have back home are sloth bears but I don’t think they’re the same animal.”

“Sloth bears?” Misty asked.

“They mostly eat termites and ants, really,” Steven told her, “not nearly as scary as you’re imagining. Quite adorable. But nothing really beats sloths on the cuteness factor.”

“Steven! Good to catch you. When do you want to go to the zoo?”

“Oh, boy, maybe Sunday? Do we have anything on Sunday?”

I was going to get drunk.

Same. 

“Looks like Sunday’s free!” Steven paused a beat, a smile fixed on his face. “You know, fellas, I can’t help but feel as if we’ve forgotten something.”

We forget stuff incessantly, Marc said, tired. Frenchie was always dragging me out of bars I didn’t remember walking inside. 

There’s an alternate explanation for that one.

See, that’s what I thought, but Frenchie never thought so.

“Frenchie!” Steven cried. He jerked onto his feet, sending his plate rattling. “We left Frenchie in prison!”

Danny reached out and patted Steven on the forearm. “It’s okay, Steven. It was just a dream. The French can’t hurt you.”

“Not if they’re in prison, anyway,” Misty said.

Luke, the only one who ever remotely was on topic, put down his fork and looked at Steven. “Who’s Frenchie? Since when do you know other people?”

“He’s my best friend,” Marc said. He scrambled away from the table, faintly registering that he was wearing Jake’s outfit. He and Steven had their own changes of clothes in the guest bedroom, he’d have to take a minute and change. They hated wearing each other’s clothing. It felt so invasive. Jake hated polyester, Marc hated wool, and Steven hated layers in non-freezing temperatures. “Damn it, what kind of friend am I!”

Jessica squinted at him, sipping her orange juice. “Wait, you have other friends? I thought we were your only friends.”

“He’s my friend, not Jake’s. You’re Jake’s friends.”

“I’m not Jake’s friend,” Misty said.

“Jake’s my friend but I don’t like him,” Colleen said. 

“Jake’s my friend and I like him,” Danny said eagerly.

“No comment,” Luke said.

But Jessica just continued squinting at him - as if she could read something between their three faces, unremarkable individually but painting a clear picture together. “This is what stressed you out so bad yesterday, yeah?” Marc shoved the chair back into the table, averting his eyes. “Why don’t I come with you? Like, buffer zone?”

A part of Marc did want her to come. He didn’t know if that part was Jake or Steven or himself. He never knew where to put himself anymore, how to partition out his life into the good and bad. How to fit together Jake and Layla, how to give Steven the reins on the courthouse work, how to fit into the Heroes For Hire in a space carved for Jake yet welcoming of anybody. 

It was so easy. It scared Marc. 

“I can handle my own army buddy,” Marc said gruffly. He bent down and kissed Jessica on the cheek. “I’ll call.”

Marc swept out the door, ignoring Jessica calling “You better!” behind him.

[tgmsunmontue]

To wake, perchance to dream 6/6

Hangster - Jake wakes up ~13 years in the future and thinks he has amnesia. Instead it's a glimpse of what his life could be. When he wakes up right before being called back to Top Gun for the special detachment he's going to try his damndest to make that future come true...

Edited to add: One of the first piece of TGM I saw was this amazing piece by @beezelarts as well as this follow on one (both of which I have printed and up on my wall). They both deserve ALL THE LOVE. I stared at them both a lot while drawing this last chapter.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

                “Why do you put up with me?”

                “Well that’s a stupid question.”

                “Jake. I’m serious.”

                “So am I. Why do you put up with me? When I’m angry and I say hurtful things or piss you off… Why do you put up with me?”

                “Because I love you.”

                Jake looks at him and tries to convey just how much of an idiot he thinks Bradley is being. He remembers future Bradley, how alarmed he’d been at Jake having to deal with all his shit. He wonders if getting those two days of his future were offered as an incentive to not give up. Wonders what he did to deserve it. Or whether it’s somehow Bradley that deserves him.

                “Do you think I love you any less than you love me?”

                “It’s not a competition.”

                “Good thing, because if it was I’d win. I put up with you because I love you. All of you,” Jake says, flicking him on the forehead to drive his point home, and it makes him feel more settled as well when Bradley startles at the sharp pain but then laughs, captures his hand and kisses over the knuckles.

                “Oh.”

                “Oh he says. Oh. Did you think I was lying all those times I said it?”

                “No. No. I just…”

                “You thought I only loved certain parts of you?”

                Bradley shrugs, unable to meet his eyes and Jake shakes his head. They’ve come a fucking long way in sixteen months however he expects they’ve still got a chunk of work ahead of them. However Bradley is working with him now, rather than against him or trying to break up, so it’s so much better. It helps that Bradley is back in the air, flying again and while Jake is proud of him he’s also waiting for the day when Bradley decides he’s had enough. Knows it has to be soon if the rough timeline he sketched out is accurate.

                “I’m… I’m going to make myself some tea. You want any?”

                “Of course…”

                Tea making is almost a ritual now between them, and he’s always dropped everything when Bradley has said he’s making tea. It’s for moments of quiet, but also deep conversation, reassurance and also the simple act of making it now grounds Jake in a way nothing else does. He knows it’s similar for Bradley, that if he wants to talk something out, he’ll make an entire pot of tea. Jake watches as he reaches for the stupid pot that is painted like a rooster and wonders if this is the moment. Watches Bradley turn over the little three-minute timer he’d bought and watches him watch the sand fall through the hourglass silently. He knows from experience to not interrupt the silence now. Bradley is gathering and organizing his thoughts.

                “I… I think I’m going to retire.”

                And there it is. All of the sand hasn’t even fallen through.

                Another piece falling into place.

                “Okay.”

                “Okay? Just okay?”

                “You want me to talk you out of it?”

                “I… no? I… fuck. I don’t know. I don’t know. What am I going to do if I’m not flying planes anymore?”

                Jake knows exactly what he’s going to do, but he can’t, won’t, just blurt it out. He wants Bradley to figure it out for himself. Reaches a hand across the counter and wiggles his fingers and waits impatiently for Bradley to hold his hand. Grips it tight and jiggles it to give his next words more weight.

                “How about, how about you find a dream you actually want huh, rather than chasing what you think someone else would want for you? You have time…”

                “Yeah. I guess.” Jake hums. “I think I’ll talk to my therapist about it…”

                “I think that’s an excellent idea,” Jake says, and he wonders if it’s them that places the seed in Bradley’s mind.

                “When did you get so smart?” Bradley asks and Jake snorts.

                “I’ve always been smart. You were just too busy to notice.”

                “Oh no, I always noticed you. I meant… you’ve gotten smart about me. It’s like… you sometimes know what I need even before I do.”

                “Just been paying attention Bradshaw…”

                “Bradshaw is it?” Bradley asks, eyebrow quirking up and Jake raises both his eyebrows in response, because he’s never going to get sick of flirting with him.

                He knows it to his core.

…            …            …

                “What do you think about me becoming a therapist?”

                “I think you’d kill it.”

                “Jake. Be serious.”

                “I am being serious! You would make a great therapist…”

                “I… you really think so?”

                “Babe. Bradley… why’d you join the Navy?”

                “To fly.”

                “If you hadn’t made it into aviation, what would you have done? Stayed?”

                “Yeah. Probably.”

                “Why?”

                “What do you mean why?”

                “Deeper than flying… why did you join?”

                “To…” Jake waits. He’s pretty sure he knows why, suspects Bradley’s therapist also knows why but Bradley hasn’t maybe put it together yet. “To serve… well. To help people I guess.”

                “Hmm. Like I said. I think you’d be pretty good at it.”

…            …            …

                So their lives shift a little again, and Bradley goes back to study, and he’s going to the same University as Amelia and suddenly he gets why and how Amelia becomes so entrenched in their lives. She spends the first year in the dorms, and Bradley rattles around in a two-bedroom apartment. Bradley has never lived alone and while he’s away Jake worries, so when he suggests Amelia maybe move in and they live together everyone treats him like it’s a genius solution. Which finds him, the summer before her second year helping her move in. While she’ll keep Bradley company while Jake’s deployed, her living with Bradley has made both Penny and Mav feel an infinite sense of relief about her living off-campus.

                “I feel much better about her living with you than in a sorority house or… well. I know you’ll keep an eye on her,” Maverick is saying and Jake catches Bradley’s eyeroll from across the room. Penny is busy cleaning the kitchen and doing a deep clean, which he knows Bradley is going to appreciate. Eventually. Once everything is back where Bradley wants it.

                “Yeah, because she’s totally going to want to hang out with me…” Bradley says with a grin towards Amelia and she grins back.

                “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re okay looking for an older guy, might make me look a little more interesting if I’m seen talking to you…”

                “You hear this Jake? I’m okay looking!”

                “For an older guy. I mean… I’d fuck you,” Jake calls back with a grin and Amelia pretends to vomit. Penny calls out a reprimand and all three of them roll their eyes, because they’ve all heard Penny swear a blue-streak.

                “Can you two ever not be gross?”

                “Nope.”

                He likes Amelia living with Bradley, it means he doesn’t worry so much when he’s deployed. That Bradley will make sure Amelia eats, and therefor taking care of his own needs. Plus he starts messaging Amelia for behind the scene updates and she doesn’t disappoint and Jake gets daily candid photos of Bradley doing domestic shit, or passed out cold on the sofa, or on campus meeting with his study group. When he comes back she makes herself scarce for twenty-four hours and then he takes her out for an expensive meal, which is apparently an acceptable trade.

…            …            …

                “This weekend! We’ve got forty-eight hours man. You said you wanted to be my best man, well, time to be the best…”

                “What?”

                “We’re getting married this weekend! Sunday!”

                Jake freezes, because they hadn’t set a date and he’d sort of been drifting, knowing that it was going to be ten-years from whenever they got married. And now he has a date. One only two days away.

                “Why are we in such a rush?”

                “You’re here, I’m here, Nix is here… Bradshaw can get here. She wants it in the small chapel on base, the one with those big pale wood arches. Plus we don’t want to wait anymore.”

                “Holy shit. Yeah. Okay. Fucking… tell me what you need me to do.”

                He rings Bradley, tells him he needs to get on a plane if he wants to stand up as witness for Nix. Of course Bradley drops everything, Amelia insisting on coming and Jake knows that that’s how it’s going to work, she’s going to be as big a part of Javy and Nix’s kids’ live as he and Bradley will be, so her being at the wedding feels right. Then Jake finds himself organizing a cake and a simple flower bouquet. Javy and Nix both have given him very strict instructions to not even think the word wedding when talking to anyone.

                The service is going to be small and private, set for the afternoon after the standard Sunday morning service. They have a week before they both get deployed again, so Jake searches for a resort within an hour drive which also has a honeymoon suite available, books it for them for five nights and lets them know he’s sorted his and Bradley’s wedding present to them.

                He’s pretty proud of what he and Javy have managed to achieve. The chapel didn’t need any decorating, but the Hard Deck, where they’re having the reception of sorts tomorrow evening, well, he supposes he has Penny and Amelia to thank for that, along with Maverick and Bradley. They’ve found soft fairy lights and large white paper lanterns and the whole place is unrecognizable as their usual watering hole. Except he recognizes it. It’s exactly like it is (was?) in the photos he can still remember looking at. As they shut up for the night everything is set for tomorrow and Jake doesn’t know why he’s so nervous.

                It’s not his wedding.

…            …            …

                Bradley has the confidence to look good in a hessian sack, and the legs to pull it off. In a tailored suit he looks mouthwatering. Jake knows he isn’t too shabby looking himself, glad he has an excuse to wear his suit rather than his dress uniform.

                “You look good…” Bradley says, giving him a slow sweep with his eyes and Jake laughs.

                “I am good…”

                “Fuck yeah you are…”

                “Not how it’s meant to go, but I’ll take it…” Jake says with a smirk, because he gets it now, why Bradley had looked at him so weirdly when he’d told Jake he looked good and he’d replied with a simple good morning. Fuck, no wonder Bradley believed him. That and Jake told him. At the wedding that they’re both at right now. Javy and Nix have disappeared somewhere for some photos, but Jake knows that they’re going to come through the doors, with Nix wearing a different dress from the one she got married in but looking no less gorgeous or happy.

                “Want to hear something really crazy?” Jake asks, leaning against Bradley for the reassurance of his presence, hopes he manages to come across as… sincere rather than insane.

                “Crazier than deciding to get married within two days?”

                “Yeah. Much crazier…” Jake says, and he’s still hold the half-filled champagne glass they’d used to toast Javy and Nix earlier. “I’ve seen photos of this… of this moment right here that we are in right now.”

                “How much have you had to drink?” Bradley asks with a laugh, taking the glass from his fingers.

                “Four sips of that champagne.”

                “So… what? You’ve got a sense of déjà vu?”

                “No. More than that… Just… imagine this with me. One day, actually, exactly ten years in the future, we’re happily married; I wake up and your arms are around me. Javy and Nat are off celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary and we’re looking after their three kids. They love and trust us enough to look after these three precious little humans. So I wake up and I don’t remember any of that. All I remember is being on a carrier stationed near Japan and suddenly I’m not anymore.”

                “What are you…”

                “Just… listen. So in ten years if I act a little weird for a couple of days, well, you made me fall in love with you over the space of a weekend… showed me how well we work together. I’m looking forward to filling in all the blanks.”

                “You’re… Jake. Are you being serious right now…”

                He shrugs.

                “Maybe it was just a dream. But it was a very fucking vivid dream. And I’d put money on Natasha and Javy coming through that door, she’s changed to a salsa dress and Javy’s going to be wearing suspenders and looking ridiculous, but they’re going to do a surprise dance number for us… we have a photo of it on the wall.”

                “Oh my god, you’re serious. Jake.”

                “I fell in love with you in this dream, and it made me want that with you so much… and I kind of figured if I could make you fall in love with me then we might get a chance at this happily ever after dream of mine.”

                “You’re a secret romantic… I mean, I knew that already. But just getting it confirmed again. I love you, you weird strange man.”

                “Mmm. Yeah. Love you too.”

…            …            …

                With the wedding photos now available he starts building the photo albums for his future-past self, and even if it’s all crazy and it never happens he doesn’t want to take the chance. Also he finds going through all their photos and picking the ones for including in a book to be an activity that brings him a lot of joy, seeing all their happiest moments and proudest achievements frozen in time.

…            …            …

                When they’re on vacation in the Rockies and Jake recognizes the view, stands there and takes it in with a deep breath, turns back to see what the hell is keeping Bradley only to find him on bended knee holding a ring box and even though he knew he would end up marrying him, having someone declare they love you so much they want to spend the rest of their live with you makes him burst into tears. He takes so many photos through blurry eyes, knowing that at least one is going to turn out so he can include the view in the photo album.

…            …            …

                Their bands are simple gold, although they’re made from gold melted down from Bradley’s parents wedding rings and a bangle that used to belong to his mom. Maverick had insisted on him keeping it all, and when Bradley gets a little emotional slipping the ring onto Jake’s finger he knows the moment is bittersweet, the fact that his parents aren’t here sad but the joy of the day will be everlasting. A photo of their joined hands, both showing off their rings, means more than just the start of their marriage. It encompasses their pasts too and he goes through the process of changing his name to Bradshaw.

…            …            …

                They have their honeymoon on a small island in the Pacific Ocean, and despite Jake’s insistence that Bradley didn’t use high enough SPF sunscreen and reapply it often enough after swimming Bradley gets terribly sunburnt on their third day. Fortunately the air conditioning in their private cabin is good, and they’re more than happy to spend the time together in bed. When the worst of it is over though Bradley starts peeling, making it somehow look worse and when they venture out to the night markets to find food Bradley gives him such a stink eye after he snaps a quick picture and sends it to the group chat.

…            …            …

                There are moments which he doesn’t capture. Natasha and Javy inviting him and Bradley over for dinner and telling them that they’re expecting a baby. That they’d like Jake and Bradley to be the godparents, and legal guardians, and that they want them both involved in the family care plan, seeing as they both still serve. Bradley’s jaw drops but Jake knew, hoped, and he wonders when he starts looking for their house. Their home. Of course both he and Javy are deployed when Nix gives birth to Alleisha, but Bradley is there for the birth, sounds fairly awed and disgusted by the whole process. Amelia makes herself invaluable and he knows now that she’s a speech and play therapist. Her and Bradley talk about things that overlap, but Bradley doesn’t ever work with kids, but he is good with them. One of Jake’s new favorite pastimes is watching Bradley hold Alleisha.

…            …            …

                He sees the notice and does a double take, because there’s a photo and he finds himself paying more attention to those these days than he ever has before. The dog looks like Thea. Bradley’s Thea. He wonders if he’s the one that gets Bradley a puppy. He snaps a picture of the flyer to show Bradley. When he raises it later, whether Bradley has ever thought of getting a dog, he gets a shake of the head and a weird look. Apparently Carole was allergic. Huh. Okay. Maybe things will be different.

                Of course he comes home two days later and finds a book about therapy dogs on the counter and he grins at it, raps his knuckles against it and then turns to find Bradley watching him from the doorway.

                “Am I getting a dog?” Bradley asks, and it’s like this sometimes, like he thinks Jake is somehow psychic and he guesses he does have quite a few insights about their future, but they’re more like markers laid out on a trail and he has to find all the paths between the points. He tries to keep them to himself for the most part, not wanting to enjoy the moments and time he has.

                “I don’t know. Do you want a dog?”

                “I didn’t think so. But I had my therapy appointment today.”

                “Yeah?”

                “And my therapist had a friend visiting who breeds therapy dogs. And that picture you showed me? That was her.”

                “Oh shit…”

                “Hmm. Her current litter is all spoken for, but Ali asked me if I would be interested in one from the next litter.”

                “That’s a hell of a coincidence…” Jake says.

                “Yeah well, I said I was. So I guess I’m getting a dog.”

…            …            …

                He’s deployed when Bradley sends him the link to several house listings, and then he sees it. Pictures of their house and his heart swells. There it is. He sends back this one. Bradley asks him if he’s sure, says it needs a lot of work. Jake replies that he’s as certain about the house as he is about loving him and that’s all that Bradley needs to make an offer. When he steps inside the first time his eyes widen, because it is nothing like he remembers but also Bradley had said it needed a lot of work. He wasn’t fucking joking.

                “I hope you like DIY…” Bradley murmurs, coming up behind him and pressing against him and Jake looks around, remembers photos of them painting and grins to himself.

                “Yeah, I think I’ll like it fine…”

…            …            …

                They have a trip to the beach, Nix and Alleisha firmly planted under a sun umbrella when Javy pulls out a soccer ball. He remembers the pain in his knee and he wonders if he should maybe avoid playing if it means he doesn’t get hurt. Except he can’t. He can’t not take part and he tries to be careful but when he feels his foot shift on the sand and his body weight goes the wrong direction over his knee he knows. He doesn’t try any heroics like walking on it. Tells Javy and Bradley both that they’re going to have to carry him and take him to the hospital immediately; asks for icepacks to assist with the swelling. Javy looks at him like he’s crazy but Bradley looks at him with wild eyes.

                “It’s my ACL and LCL. I’ll need surgery but I will fly again. Going to have to get used to having me around for a bit though…”

                Of course Bradley rolls his eyes, has words with Jake later about why he didn’t avoid the injury and he shrugs, says he doesn’t have it in him not to be competitive and kick a ball around with Javy. The benefit of being on light duty while he recovers and rehabs his knee means he’s there for James’ birth and holy shit. He gets why Bradley didn’t want to do it again.

…            …            …

                He smears the paint down Bradley’s naked chest, and the dark blue looks really nice against his skin. He says as much and Bradley twists against him, laughs and tries to buck him off where Jake’s got him pinned.

                “Uh uh Bradshaw… going to take you apart…”

                “Jake… the paint… it’ll dry and make a mess…”

                “Don’t care. We can buy more paint. We can clean up the mess… want to make another sort of mess right now.”

                With that declaration Bradley stops fighting and instead reaches to bring him down for a kiss and Jake grins into it, because he likes getting his way.

                Later, when Amelia and Bradley are both laughing at him over glasses of wine as he clips chunks of dried paint out of his hair he is less happy, but he still wouldn’t change anything.

…            …            …

                “Bradshaw… any relation to Nick Bradshaw?”

                “My late father-in-law,” Jake provides, and the eyebrows of the Admiral in front of him shoot up.

                “You married…”

                “Lieutenant Commander Bradley Bradshaw. Retired. Nick Bradshaw’s son.”

                “Huh. Means you must know Maverick as well then. I’m sorry Captain, what was your name previously?”

                “Seresin sir. Much prefer keeping the Bradshaw name and legacy alive and well instead.”

                There is a flash of recognition at his old name, because he’s just as legendary as Maverick now, if not better because he’s also known as someone who has saved Maverick’s life in the top-secret mission that of course everyone has heard rumors about. It’s years ago now though, and he doesn’t need to think anymore about his signature when he signs paperwork.

                “Fair enough.”

…            …            …

                Bradley buys him a camera for his obsession with taking photos and he enjoys it, becomes the unofficial photographer of their wider group of friends even though he’s got his own reasons for taking the photos. However he continues documenting all their vacations and gatherings, takes family photos and candid shots of them just hanging out. He doesn’t take any of it for granted, still occasionally blinks awake from sleep with his heart pounding and the knowledge that his life would be very different if he’d been a second later.

…            …            …

                When Brandy is born Javy is not deployed and both he and Bradley tell him he’s on his own. Instead they look after Alleisha and James, their bedroom is the biggest one in their house and there’s already a crib ready and waiting for when Brandy is old enough to start staying over. He startles then, realizing that it’s getting closer. The ten-year anniversary of Javy and Nat’s wedding. He pulls out a phone and looks at the calendar for 2035. Their anniversary is on a Friday next year. He has about nine months to prepare and he submit his leave request immediately.

…            …            …

                Of course he doesn’t get nine months. He’s deployed for a long six-month stint and he knows he’s missing some key moments in Brandy’s life, having seen so many of James’ while he was rehabbing his knee. However he’ll be home two weeks before the wedding anniversary and that’ll give him plenty of time to reacquaint himself with his husband before he… well. He’s not sure where he might go while his younger self is going to be hanging out in his body. He wonders if he’ll be back on the carrier in Japan and suddenly scrambles for memories that he might have to recall. Maybe he’ll just fake a stomach bug and get quarantined for the duration.

                “I can’t believe it’s been almost ten years…”

                “Best ten years of my life… and then some,” Jake murmurs, pressing a kiss onto the naked skin of Bradley’s shoulder. “Ten years…” Jake repeats and Bradley startles a little.

                “Yeah. Tenth anniversary. You uh…”

                “I remember what I told you… I still have no idea what the hell happened, or if it is even real but I guess we’ll know soon enough.”

                “Yeah, I guess we will.”

…            …            …

                He wakes under the weight of Bradley’s arm, his entire body pressed up tight against the line of Jake’s back, including a semi-hard erection and he knows without even opening his eyes that he’s back home, right time and right place, right name and also that while he can’t explain it he’s also not been fucking imagining what happened. He rocks back against Bradley’s cock and feels joy bubbling away through his entire body.

                “Mmm… Jake.”

                “Morning.”

                “Mmm,” Bradley mumbles, snuffling into the back of Jake’s hair and he keeps rocking, can feel the effect it’s having, can feel Bradley beginning to rock back into the friction, seeking it out. Then he’s gone, sharply pulling away, snapping on the bedside light and Jake winces and shades his eyes.

                “What the fuck Bradley…”

                “Are you…”

                “One hundred percent me, back to normal.”

                “You’ve never been fucking normal a day in your life…”

                Jake laughs.

                “Glad to have me back?”

                “Yes! Oh my god. So glad. I completely forgot… you let me sleep in! You… how the fuck did you just wake up and not freak the fuck out? I stress cleaned Jake. Our house is fucking spotless.”

                “Oh yeah… I remember that. I thought you were putting off having sex with me…”

                “That’s what I was stressing out about! You didn’t seem any different!”

                “You can have sex with me now. Again… also I was plenty freaked out but I also remember feeling pretty pleased that I had somehow gotten married to you.”

                “Oh my god… how… what even...”

                “I don’t know. Some things just can’t be explained I guess. Now going to give me my standard welcome home?”

                “Jake…”

                “Mmm… I fell in love with you over this weekend and then made you fall in love with me.”

                “You… so you don’t know what’s going to happen from now?”

                “I mean, I have some hopes for the short term…” Jake says, reaching a hand to stroke Bradley’s cock which makes him laugh and settle back against Jake, facing him and circling his hand around both their cocks. “And it’ll be our anniversary soon. Want to go to Hawaii?”

                “I guess the future is all ours…”

                “Baby, it’s always been ours.”

THE END

[valley-girlkissers]

Chapter one: pilot

Words: 1630

Chapter one is officially out! Enjoy :)

👙☀️🐚🌊🩷🏄‍♀️🍒

“$600? For a flight to LA????? Ridiculous.” For the past hour, all anyone in Jamie’s household would hear from her bedroom door is her gawking and yelling about how all flights to LA were way too overpriced, and how she is “not a woman made of money!!!”. She was making it very clear that she was not. It was not long after Jamie had gotten way too pissed over flights that were more than $300 when she realised, she wouldn’t be able to make it to America this year and visit her friends. A lot of her friends lived in other countries, some in Canada and even more in America, LA, so every year she made sure to save her money to book flights and visit her friends over the summer…that was until this year. Her job wasn’t great, with the unreasonable hours and shifts Jamie got that weren’t even worth it enough for her paycheck. So she said enough and quit, because that was the most fair thing to do! I mean sure, she wouldn’t be making money anymore but she could’ve always gotten a new job not long after quitting! Or so she thought. Turns out her resume needed a big upgrade and all the places she applied to weren’t desperate for workers like her previous job. Jamie laid on her bed with a pose making her look like a starfish, not even attempting to stay positive or tone down how overdramatic she was being. All of a sudden she heard her phone ringing begging and pleading her to actually respond to a call for once. It was from Scar, one of Jamie’s best friends for a long time, one of the people she was the most excited about seeing on her now destroyed summer trip. She felt horribly guilty, not prepared to break the news to her future disappointed best friend. They had been hyping the trip up for months now, planning where to go and what to see and what to wear, sometimes those conversations with her was the only thing that got Jamie through her day. With a deep breath, Jamie got out of her starfish position and accepted the FaceTime

“Hey Scar!” Jamie didn’t fully understand why she was so extremely stressed, Scar was the most understanding person she had ever met. Yet, she still could not find a way to just chill out of her panicking.

“Hi Jamie! How are you!”

“I’m okay, thanks Scar! Actually, I do need to talk to you about something. Were you about to ask about the summer trip?” Jamie was barely hiding her nerves at this point. “YES!! You read my mind! I was actually going to ask if you had scheduled any flights yet that me and Gri should know about so we can pick you up from the airport and such” Gri, as in Griande, was Jamie’s sister that moved in with Scar a couple years ago when they got together. Great, another person she would be letting down from having to cancel the trip.

“Well I was scrolling through them and well.. Scar I just don’t know if I can make it this year. All the flights are way out of my budget, and honestly I cannot beg my parents for money or else they’ll make me do almost all the work on the ranch again.” That was a true story.

“Okay, hmm.. no that’s, that’s okay! I totally get it haha, flights are way too expensive lately and I know that you didn’t have the highest budget.” Jamie was glad Scar was being understanding but that first part.. felt odd. Scar was making that face Jamie knew all too well.

“I know that face. What are you thinking up there miss goodtimes??? It better not be giving me money for the trip. You know I’ll say no!”

“No, no it’s not that just… okay this could sound a little crazy but what if you worked at the surf store I work at over the summer to pay off the expenses of the trip?” Jamie registered what Scar said for a minute before replying.

“Wait, what? I don’t know, I mean your boss probably won’t let someone work in a store just for two months and then leave suddenly. I don’t know if that’ll work, in all honesty” Jamie wished that would work, but in reality she knew it wouldn’t.

“No I swear my boss X is the best. Also, we actually have had people only come it for a month or two before, she’s totally cool with it. It’ll be perfect! It pays well, and also the hours are not excruciating at all, it’s really well staffed! Please Jamie!!! I’ll totally ask!!” Scar was then doing her pouting ‘please’ face that no one including Jamie never could say no to. It felt cruel.

“Well.. I guess it could work. But make sure you ask! I’ll send over my resume but don’t get too worked up, God knows if this’ll work.” Jamie was then met with a cheering scar jumping around her room saying ‘thank you!’, it was incredibly amusing. Her prediction that Scar would be miserable after the call couldn’t be more incorrect. After talking and planning on what they might be able to do on the trip now that it hopefully wasn’t cancelled, they both hung up. Jamie was back to her starfish pose on her bed but with a much more positive expression on her face, truly trying to manifest hearing a ‘we’d like to offer you a job’ after not hearing it for almost a year. Maybe this trip will happen after all.

~~

“Genuinely, how did you get that lucky that you actually got the job?” Lin said in between folding clothes into his suitcase. Lin, Jamie’s sister, too was coming onto the summer trip. Normally she does with Joelle, his wife and one of Jamie’s best friends. “I.. genuinely don’t know. I was just stressing about flight costs and then all of a sudden Scar talked and pleaded her boss to give me the job and I somehow got it? She fully saved my entire trip” Jamie replied, looking at tops and dresses and asking herself if they looked good. “She calls herself hotgirl for a reason, to be fair.” Joelle said, already giggling at her joke, which everyone else did as well, because it was true that ever since Scar got into superhero’s and Star Wars when she was little all she wanted to do was be a superhero. Hence the name hotgirl. “True, true. I’m not even sure how she even found such a job in the first place. She wasn’t lying when she said the shifts her insanely good with an even better pay, it’s actually unfair how much she lucks out sometimes I swear” “it’s all about having a good boss… which you and your dumb luck unfortunately did not have at your last job!” Lin pointed out, and he wasn’t wrong. “Pretty ironic that you have the worst luck with jobs yet one of your best friends has the best luck with jobs, hey?” Joelle also pointed out. It felt like salt in the would at this point! Jamie didn’t mind at all though, truly she loved being teased and being the butt of the joke “like you’re to talk Joelle, what about your first job? Where they didn’t even tell you about your hours and then got mad when you didn’t show up to shifts you didn’t know about” “fair play. Fair.” The three could go on for ages about their horrible first jobs, but honestly they were way too preoccupied with outfits, flights and day-to-day activities. “What if we tried out this mini surf course together? It’s only for a week but it looks really fun! It says it’s hosted by ‘the most passionate surfers in the world’, whatever that means” Lin suggested “er.. I’m not really sure my balance is horrible. I would look like a cartoon character slipping on a banana peel” Jamie responded, which actually had happened before. “Well now we need to do it. I need to see Jamie fall off her board.” “Okay Joelle, as if you would also have balance on a surfboard” “I’ll have you know that I am the quickest learner of all time! I could probably be the best surfer ever only aster a few minutes” Joelle loved feeding into her comedically big ego, though she wasn’t serious most of the time. “Another thing, Jamie what time is your flight tomorrow? Just so me and Joelle know when to drop you off” Joelle and Lin were going to America just after Jamie, only because they wanted to make sure everything was sorted like the house/dog sitter. “Uhhh… I think midday? I’ll have to get there around 11:30am I think.” “Noted!”

~~

“Thanks for driving me guys, I’ll see you in a couple days?” Jamie thanked Joelle and Lin as she stepped out of the car “yep! No worries Jamie, see you soon!” And with that the two were off.

The process to actually get to the gate was excruciating, but Jamie got through it all eventually. She felt extremely proud of herself after surviving it all in one piece. “Flight 276 to America, Los Angelous is now boarding. Please board your flight now if it’s yours” blasted in the speakers of the airport, so Jamie picked all of her luggage up and boarded the plane.

Eventually the plane took off, and Jamie was overjoyed that a trip she thought she would have to cancel, was actually happening. Next thing she knew, she had arrived in LA and could see Scar and Griande at the bottom of the escalator to pick her up.

[angeldrawsstuffs]

Oh people hate on Wu as well and, personally, it’s just as obnoxious. If you think critically about most of the things Wu’s “caused”, it really boils down to one of three scenarios:

1. It would’ve happened in some form regardless and Wu’s involvement had little to no actual affect on the outcome.

2. Wu was in the general vicinity of whatever occurred and had no involvement in the actual incident.

Or

3. He was a literal child when it happened of course he was being stupid and irrational, that’s what kids do.

To make this point, I’ll go through all the main show villains with ties to Wu (or that I’ve just seen generally pinned on him for one reason or another) and how they fall into one of these categories:

Garmadon - Wu was a child and had no reasonable way to know the Great Devourer was outside the Monastery, nor did he even ask Garmadon to go get the sword, Garmadon chose to do that on his own. Even if Wu somehow “caused” it or knew there was a risk, it wasn’t intentional and he spent the next millennium or so blaming himself and trying to help his brother by whatever means necessary (this really shows in the canon Spinjitzu Brothers books where we actually get to have Wu’s POV shown to us).

The Serpentine - The whole alliance was being manipulated, and so were the serpentine themselves. I won’t absolve Wu of blame entirely but like if he’s at fault so is Garmadon, Ray, Maya, Mystake, etc.. But overall it was Master Chen’s fault any of it happened at all because the Serpentine War wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t trick both sides into fighting.

The Overlord - This guy is older than Wu by a LONGSHOT, I do not think I need to say more on this.

Morro - I love Morro as much as the next guy, but I think this fandom is long overdue for a conversation about how Morro had a big hand in his own fall. Yes, Wu had and has blame for building up the Green Ninja idea in Morro’s head, but Morro himself I firmly believe would’ve become a villain regardless if he met Wu or not. The flashbacks show us Morro had little to no empathy for other people or how his actions affected them. He deliberately went too hard on his fellow students to show how he was “strong”, and, this one I cannot stress enough, actively refused all of Wu’s attempts to help him grow as a person and diverge from his path. Morro’s famous final line in Possession, “you can only save those who want to be saved” is the perfect summarization of his character. Morro did not want to be saved, he refused to be saved when he was alive, and continued to do so in death. Wu did not tell him to go look for the tomb, nor did he know Morro was looking for it. Morro is a cautionary tale of how, if you don’t introspect and try to grow as a person, if you don’t accept they you are flawed and other people aren’t the sole source of your issues, you’ll only doom yourself in the end. Nothing was black and white with Morro and Wu, they were both flawed people. They were both at fault in their own ways, but Morro’s path and eventual fate was ultimately determined by him and his choices to not change alone.

Time Twins - WOO, after that character analysis, time (ha!) for a simple one. They were evil on their own, Wu had no hand in that.

Aspheera - Wu. Was. A. Child. Being. Manipulated. By. A. Grown. Person. Like, this one actually pisses me off because trying to say Aspheera was Wu’s fault is victim blaming at its finest. Wu did something stupid by sneaking into Mambo’s kingdom, yes, but he was a child! Kids do stupid stuff like that because you don’t understand consequences! Aspheera tricked him into thinking she was his friend and, when you think about it, Wu doesn’t seem to have had any other friends outside of his brother. We don’t even know if he had any long term connections or relationships outside of his father and brother. He was a lonely kid who just wanted a friend, can you really blame him for that?

Alrighty, before I end this this post, I’ll lightning round address the “why didn’t Wu tell the ninja?” thing.

Garmadon - He did, that’s the plot of the pilots and the first two seasons.

The Serpentine - He had every reason to assume they were a non-issue and were already dead or sealed away for good. How was he supposed to know Lloyd would go from petty harassment to trying to assemble a snake army??

The Overlord - Some combination of Wu again thinking he was a non-issue (at least for the time being) (also like- Wu didn’t realize The Overlord could have a role in the prophecy until Misako said so), and, based on the way Wu talks about him and what we know of him, it was probably a “names have power” situation. By speaking of him and spreading knowledge of his existence, people can become afraid of him, and we know The Overlord feeds of darkness and fear, so it’s not out of left field to extrapolate that not talking about him and letting the memory die out of the public consciousness is a legit strategy to keep him at bay.

Morro - Hadn’t talked to him or heard anything about his whereabouts in 20-40 years. Wu’s of a similar age to the Serpentine War during the Morro flashbacks, so we can guess the general timeframe of how long ago they were (also we know it’s before Garmadon’s banishment because he has the Golden Weapons). Wu had absolutely no idea Morro went looking for the FSM’s tomb, much less that he died doing so and became a cursed ghost out for revenge- again, I pose the question: how was he supposed to know?? Nobody in their right mind would come to that conclusion on absolutely zero information.

Time Twins - This is the ONE instance I will say Wu should’ve told them because he DID know they were coming back. But also Wu gets crap for “dragging his students into his personal battles” so it’s a little hypocritical when those same people go back and say he should’ve let the ninja help. The one time he did know an old enemy would return, he wanted to settle that score without burdening his students, which I personally find commendable (not like he could’ve predicted the fight going south- or that Krux had returned much earlier and been scheming for DECADES to foil Wu and reunite with Acronix for their plans).

Aspheera - Same deal as the other serpentine, as far was Wu was aware, she was a done deal. Aspheera was sealed away for over a millennium before S11, either she was long since dead or not going to be an issue ever again.

OK NOW I’M DONE FOR REALISES- Wu obviously isn’t a perfect person, but I’ll be damned if I let his name be tainted by misconceptions that keep being perpetrated in this fandom! /lh /nm

(I could go on for so long about Wu and his trauma and the cycle of abuse in his family and-)

/gen /nm

I'm kind of new to the Ninjago fandom, and I've noticed ppl complain that like... Misako is overhated, and people can't understand a morally gray character (Which I can believe, but I have only seen it once), and I'm wondering if the same thing has happened to wu.

He caused, like... Half of the shit in the show, and has done probably worse things than Misako has. So I'm wondering if people treat him the same, or is it just Misako?

[voulezloux]

.

[tenwhiteandalusians]

is episode 8 the domitian arc ? more on this and EVEN MORE narratives i’ve been ignoring that the show said “actually,,,” about in 5

[cafecitoeddie]

❤️

[mer-se]

please pick friends u can argue or have misunderstandings with and actually communicate with immediately after like, it’s so fucking important

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

compos mentis 6

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, chronic health issues, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After a long court case, your mother stays attached to her lawyer, bringing even more contention into your life.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: hello again.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Andy comes up the stairs and you back up. Your adrenaline continues to pound in your skull. You inhale sharply and cough. He slows as he gets to the top. 

“How are you doing?” He asks cautiously. 

You nod and gulp, “fine. I’m... fine.” 

He closes his eyes and nods. When he opens them again, the intensity behind his blue irises makes you wince. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” 

“It’s okay,” you grasp the handle of the oxygen tank with both hands, keeping it in front of you like a shield. 

“It’s not okay. Your mom is wrong, you know that, right?” 

Your eyes dart back and forth, “she’s--” 

“I know she’s your mom and you love her, because you’re a good girl, but I don’t want to hear excuses for her.” 

You frown and flicks away a shell of tears with your lashes. “Sorry, Andy.” 

“Don’t apologise to me, okay?” He sighs and pushes his head back as he grips his hips. “Look,” he looks down the hallway. “We’re gonna figure this out, together. Alright, sweetheart?” 

You lower your gaze. You still can’t accept that your mom is just gone. That you’re here with just Andy. 

“She won’t stay mad--” 

“You can’t be serious? You can’t go back to her. Sweetheart, you’re sick and she’s not making it any better.” 

“It wasn’t that hard,” you murmur. 

His face flashes with concern and hurt, “that doesn’t matter.” His jaw ticks, “let me see your arm.” 

“What?” 

“Where she hit you, let me see it.” 

You pull your arm back and put it behind you, “it’s not--” 

He shakes his head, “I know it hurts. Even if you don’t show me, it doesn’t undo what she did or what I saw.” He sniffs and rubs his nose, “besides, I’m a lawyer, I kind of have to report that sort of thing.” 

“Report? Oh,” you whimper. “Please, don’t.” 

“Sweetheart,” he exhales. 

“Please, Andy. I won’t go back but I don’t her to be in trouble.” 

You look at him, the irritation stitched into his forehead. He purses his lips and drops his hand form his hip. He lets out a resigned breath. 

“Alright, for now. We’ll just do one thing at a time,” he girds. “Let’s go pick up that mess.” 

He steps past you and heads down the hall. You follow him, the wheels on the tank squeaking. He enters the guest room and kneels to gather the mess spilled from the belt bag. You near and bend to help. He glances up. 

“Sweetie, please, you should sit down,” he says. 

“I can help,” you insist as you grab your lip balm. At the same time, he reaches for it and clutches your hand by accident. You flinch away and recoil.  

He doesn’t say a word as he continues to gather everything. He checks a pill bottle before he tucks it away. You peek at his face and notice the red blemish deepening on his cheekbone. The slap was loud, it sounded painful. 

“Are you okay?” You ask. 

“I’m not mad at you,” he assures as he keeps his head down. 

“No, uh, that,” you point at his cheek. "Does it hurt?"

He stops, cradling the belt bag in one hand as he touches his cheek with the other. “Not really,” he says. 

You reach out, “here, I’ll take it.” 

He hands over the bag and you snap it around your waist, careful to keep it from tangling with your oxygen tube. He stands and clears his throat. 

“This room works for you?” He asks. 

You peer around then back at him. 

“You’ll be here for a while so... I could grab you more blankets. A fan?” 

You shake your head, “this is fine.” 

He clicks his tongue and looks past you to the window, “I’m going to make some calls.” 

“To the police? You said--” 

“Not right now,” he shows his palms. “I’m just... I got work, still, and a few other things. Sweetheart,” he steps closer, “you just relax, okay? It’s been a long morning. And if you need anything, my office door will be open, alright?” 

You scrunch up your lips and nod. It’s all you can do. You teeter around and sit on the side of the bed. You brace the oxygen tank to keep yourself upright. 

“You sure you’re okay?” 

“This is... normal for me,” you croak. “My mom’s right. I’m a burden. I’m too sick...” 

“She’s not right,” he insists. “Lay down, sweetheart. Take it easy. I’ll be about an hour and then we can chat a bit more. There’s a lot to go through.” 

You stay as you are. You wait. He lingers before he finally strides out of the room. He leaves the door open as you sniffle at your lap. What does he mean? A lot to go through? 

Oh, this is bad. You’re so lost. What do you do? You’re not Andy’s responsibility. If you do go back to your mom, she’s going to be so mad. Oh no, oh no, oh no. You wipe your nose and gulp. Why do you have to be so worthless? 

🩶

You can’t remember when you slumped onto your side. It doesn’t really matter. Most days you spend like that; dizzy, tired, and sick to your stomach. That day is worse.  

You want to be home. Not with your mother, just in your room, with your figurines and your books. With the familiar. You stare at the wall as you listen to the airiness of the strange house. Cars pass with soft swishing noises and a few voices come from the suburban scene outside. 

Andy’s footsteps precede him up the stairs. You see his shadow as he approaches the guest room and you make yourself sit up. What you don’t expect, is the other set of steps or another figure. You bounce slightly, expecting your mother, but finding only a stranger. A man. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Andy asks. 

You stare at the man then grimace at Andy. He stands just inside the door as the other man lingers at his shoulder. 

“You said you wouldn’t call the cops,” you squeak. 

“Oh,” Andy looks at the other man who gives a grin. “He’s not--” 

“Hi,” the man says your name. “I’m Dr. Kemp. A friend of Andy’s.” 

Your eyes flick between them. “It’s just a bruise.” You cover your forearm where the tenderness thrums. 

“A bruise?” He repeats. “I can look at that too, but I’m just here for a check-up.” 

“A check-up? I have a doctor. I have doctors,” you argue. 

“He’s just making sure everything is normal, sweetheart,” Andy says. 

“I could’ve called Dr. Hawes.” 

“You could but I don’t think he’d be able to see you at short notice, this is just a precaution.” Andy explains. 

“I’ll be quick, okay?” Dr. Kemp says as he nears and puts his leather bag next to you. “We’ll do the standard run through, alright?” 

You pout and shrug, “okay. I’m sorry, sir.” 

“It’s okay.” He assures you, “now, I don’t have your records so just a few questions.” 

You nod and your eyes drift to the wall. Questions. There's always questions. You answer the same ones over and over. It’s just like when you had to sit in court. 

“So, I see you’re on oxygen,” he begins, “is that something you need all the time or is it just now and then?” 

“Always,” you answer. 

“Alright, and have you been diagnosed with a specific condition that requires it?” 

“Several. Cystic fibrosis, asthma, other things...” 

“Hm, okay, you’re doing good. I know the questions can get annoying,” he says. “Do you have dizziness?” You nod. “Nausea?” Another nod. “Muscle spasms? Chest pains?” Yes and yes. 

“Even with the tank?” He prompts. 

“Yes, sir,” you reply bluntly. 

“Right, let’s listen to your heart.” 

He unzips the bag and takes out a stethoscope. You stand up stiffly as he comes closer. He points to the bottom of your shirt. “You mind?” You shake your head and he tugs it up, slipping his arm beneath. You blanch as your eyes meet Andy. You almost forgot about him. 

Kemp puts the cold stethoscope on your chest. He moves it around. Across the top, then beneath, closer to your lungs. He listens intently. He hums and removes it, fixing your shirt for you. 

He then starts with the other tests; temperature, blood pressure, eye response. He gives a thoughtful look then crosses his arms. He considers you for a moment. 

“I want you to try something for me, okay?” 

You nod once more. 

“I need you to take off your oxygen.” 

“What?” You yelp. 

“Just for a few minutes, alright? I’m a doctor, right? You’ll be okay.” 

You bat your lashes and glance at Andy again. He dips his chin. He watches intently. You look at the floor and unhook the tub from around your ears. You drag it off your nose and let it hang. 

“Alright, how are you feeling?” Kemp asks. 

You shrug. He just stands there. You do too. You sway slightly, confused. 

“You having any issues?” He intones. 

You shake your head. 

“Alright, just a small test. Hold your breath for me,” he bends his arm and looks at his wrist watch, “we’re going to see how long you can do it. Tell me when you stop.” He pinches the small golden face, “three, two, one.” 

You hold your breath as your eyes widen. Your lungs are full but not horribly so. You search the room in a panic. What if you pass out? Your panic rises and makes you itch but you keep your breath in. He waits and waits and waits. 

You let it out suddenly, “I can’t--” you gasp. “See, I can’t.” 

“A minute forty-seven,” he taps his watch, “pretty standard. Definitely pretty good for someone with bad lungs.” 

“A minute... no, it wasn’t that long. Was it?” 

Andy shifts as his jaw squares. His brows furrow. He looks angry. Kemp peeks back at him and turns back to you. 

“I’m going to review your records. I’ll put a call in to Hawes.” 

“Why?” You ask. 

“Just to make sure I’m getting a full picture. Right now, you’re doing just fine. I’d say you’re doing rather well,” he squeezes your shoulder. “What I want you to do is to take it easy on this.” He touches the oxygen tube. “If you feel out of breath, by all means, put it on, five to ten minutes, but not 24/7.” 

“But I need it,” you whimper. 

“I know you feel like you do, but I’m the doctor, right? I understand you have a lot going on but your lungs aren’t bad enough to warrant constant oxygen. I’ll be back tomorrow once I get the chart,” he says. “Andy has my number.” 

Your lip quivers. You don’t understand. You need the air. That’s what mom says. And when you forget to put it back on, she gets so mad. 

“You having trouble right now?” He asks. 

You stare at him and take a breath, and another, and another. “No,” you answer. 

“There ya go. You got Andy. He'll keep an eye on you,” he packs away his bag. 

“Thanks, Steve,” Andy says as he holds out his hand. 

“We’re even,” Kemp shakes his hand then looks back at you, “see ya tomorrow.” 

“Oh, okay, sir,” you eke out. 

He leaves and Andy gives you a nod before he follows. You listen as they go downstairs. You sit on the bed and clasp your oxygen tube in your hands. You look at the tank and frown. 

It doesn’t make sense. You don’t feel like you’re struggling. You feel like you’re breathing better, actually. It’s strange. Maybe it’s the adrenaline. 

Andy returns and you push your shoulders back. He enters tentatively, “well?” 

“I won’t...” you reach over and turn the dial to cut the supply. “It’s off.” 

“Maybe he can help. More than the other doctors,” Andy says. “Er, you know, you don’t have to hide up here. I’m done for the day so I’m free and uh, if you’re hungry, we can order?” 

“Not right now,” you say and hang your head. 

“Yeah, I know. It’s a lot,” he says. “You got time, sweetheart. Whenever you need me, I’ll be here, okay?” 

[alagaisia]

I’m reminded of that post about how goths and people who wear only lots of pink are actually the same because “wearing only one color” is a specific choice in opposition to just looking Normal

I’m flying to a friend’s wedding today, and I recently acquired from my neighborhood free page a very pretty vintage suitcase in like a brocade upholstery texture in all of my good colors, so of course I needed a coordinated airport outfit à la Midge Maisel. You guys don’t know me, but I usually dress very put together, in what my sister calls Outfits, with a capital O to distinguish it from just wearing clothes. And since getting a full time job I’ve been slowly adding to my collection of vintage and 50’s-vibes clothes, because I just really like that aesthetic (my bridesmaid dress for the wedding is a vintage tea dress I got from Etsy. The fabric is in great condition but I had to reinforce pretty much every seam with my sewing machine, because the structural integrity of the original thread was breaking down, so that was an interesting learning experience).

All of which is to say that I Dressed Up for the airport in a vintage-y outfit that coordinates perfectly with some of the colors of my suitcase, and my hair is curled, and I have a vintage leather purse that my grandma gave me that matches her watch that I’m wearing and the shoes she bought me last summer at the same vintage store that my skirt came from, and a teenage-ish girl with whatever you call the 2023 teenage equivalent of emo/punk vibes, like the dark maroon mullet and not a lot of makeup and dark comfy clothes but like, very on purpose, told me I look cool when I walked past on the way to security

And like, she Gets It! We have different fashion goals but I think we put a similar degree of intention into the way we look compared to just wearing regular clothes. Which is cool! It’s validating. Not that I really need validation, but it’s always nice to get compliments, of course. And the way I dress is really not terribly distinctive most of the time, other than being Outfits and a little dressier than maybe the norm is, like I think most people who see me one time in passing would see that I look Nice but not necessarily see it as a cultivated Look. But punk mullet girl gets it.

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it