#had i realized this prior to it
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#anyway i’m going to bed now but#my ex is so fucking lucky i realized all this shit about our relationship#AFTER i had sent him the ticket i bought for us to see niall this year#bc lmao#had i realized this prior to it#his ass would not have gotten that ticket#again he can go fuck himself and the horse he rode in on#he’ll be lucky at this point if i don’t permanently remove him from my social media and block his number#at this point i won’t do any of those things#but i can’t speak for future me!
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Welcome (back) to the world!
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wen ning#wen qing#a-yuan#It's been a while since I had back to back updates! Luckily I had a bit of extra time this week to do thumbnails!#I knew I wanted to have a comic dedicated to this very emotional scene (He's back! The boy is back!).#However. Was this tender moment also derailed by my realization that throughout all these tender tears of joy...#...LWJ was standing there silently. He had no prior relationship to Wen Ning besides the fact WWX knew him.#Meanwhile everyone is having *so* many emotions over him reassuming his consciousness.#Audio formats are so fun when moments like this happen. You can very easily forget that LWJ is in the scene. Silent. Dying of awkwardness.#But this isn't just about him! Our beautiful boy returns!#No longer is he this physical reminder of broken promises! No longer is he forced into acts of violence her abhorred when he was alive!#This is the kindness of necromancy - of truly bringing someone back.#But we all know there is always a cost. No one comes back the same after dying.#Even if you were perfectly put back together - you died! Wen Ning was tortured to death! He was never going to be the same gentle boy again#And dear god I love how he parellels WWX's own death and rebirth. Not once but *twice*.#Of coming back from death but colder and resentful. And then coming back from a second death ready to heal and move forward.#They are both creatures of violent change who still choose kindness when they can.#MXTX keeps on cooking with the parallels and I am overwhelmed at the buffet.
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"I wish you could see it, too" got a whole new meaning when it's revealed that takashi has all these precious people he could actually enjoy pretty, interesting sceneries with (even if he didn't get to see them together for some instances), while reiko likely had no one to do that after what had happened with souko 💔
#i know that midorikawa is not That Cruel but i always wonder if reiko died happy? if she was loved by and could love someone in the end? 🥲#takashi has always been an empathetic teen so the realization that he's lucky enough to live the life that his grandma couldn't probably#hit him like a truck. like yeah... takashi did get where he was now because of his effort to connect with humans. but luck and fate#did play an important part in how different reiko and takashi turned out as a person who can See (in relation to their social life) 🥲#like. what the hell are you supposed to say to this girl that you want to befriend that you're actually the rumored yankee that this girl#had warned you about days prior 😭 how many social rejections can you take before you've gone numb and realize that giving up is easier 😭#i hope i can live long enough to see more of reiko's past revealed in future chapters... i refuse to believe that she died sad and alone 💔#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu#natsume yuujinchou s7#natsuyuu s7#natsuyuu manga#natsume reiko#natsume takashi#nyanko sensei
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halfway through the newest episode of misfits and magic and hit with the reminder that Evan gave K his shirt in the last episode to wear and they're probably still wearing it
#☹️#this is fucking me up a little on an emotional level#dimension 20#misfits and magic#misfits and magic spoilers#mismag#mismag spoilers#misfits and magic season 2#i remembered when they got to the iceburg and i'm just sitting here in distress realizing that the thing keeping k warm is evan's shirt#if i accidentally exploded one of my best friends (and exes) arms off and killed them-#-and then 30 minutes later looked down and realized i was still wearing their shirt that would fucking. wreck me even more.#which is astonishing considering how much the prior situation would already dissolve at least 90% of any mental health/stability i had atm
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we have so much left to sing, there's a storm for every spring, all you see and you and me became from a star!
#art#my art#nine sols#nine sols yi#nine sols shuanshuan#not described#lyric comic#i WAS going to do the next verse but quickly realized i had no actual ideas so. relegated to post caption duty#was also Considering doing the verse immediately prior but .it's 4am so needless to say i am not doing that#anyways. did you know im normal about nine sols
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traveler as a "Witness"
#there's way more than this but these are the only screenshots i had saved on my phone that i could find#kind of rambling i nthe tags but#i hate whne people dont realize that its been a long time since this has been about finding their sibling#ugh i cant word this how i want to#but its kin d of the whole point of the game that the end destination isnt whats important#thats why traveler is set in this position of being an outsider of the this world coming into it#being aperson with no prior connection to it allowing them to experience a fresh point of view#and allowing them access to as much of the world as possible with no restrictions#not sure how to connect it but kind of related#genshin's emphasis on the journey not the end also enhances the fatui and abyss order as villains#because witht hem they have overall goals you might sympathize with (opposing celestia) their actions to get to these goasl are destructive#they're very “ends justify the means” vs traveler's “the means matter more than the end”#GOD im not explining very well im probably just stating the obvious#but i hate jokes about how “broo traveler does not want to do any of this shit they jsut wanna find their sibling”#because like. six nations in you'd think you'd know better#i hat ethe way i worded this anyway#genshin impact#genshin#traveler#aether#lumine#i love legitimely Good protagonists dawg. I LOVE GOOD PROTAGS.#i think traveler isnt forced to be Good so much as it's a choice they have made
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everyone talks about the autism feeling of relating more to robot characters than people as kids, but nobody ever says they shared MY childhood experience, which was that i was Completely Fucking Confused by robotic characters (jenny from my life as a teenage robot, data from star trek, etc) because i was like, "computers and machines don't have thoughts. why is there a show about an inanimate object responding to its environment. this is boring and not a character" and then of course you don't mention this to anyone because it makes you one of the people who in the show's canon are evil robot racist, but now that In Real Life there are tech bros trying to convince the public that generative AI has a human-style consciousness, your childhood self is feeling Supremely Validated,
#some autistic people are like i have big feelings. and some are like yeah this isnt true or feasible so i dont give a shit about it#ftr i moved past this once i realized you're supposed to suspend your disbelief and assume they have human-level consciousness#but I Had To Learn That's The Case#prior to that i was like. why would i give a shit.....
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Also with my attempted drawings of Transformers One, I now feel like an idiot for not noticing that D-16 has some red on him
I mean to be honest, I’m pretty sure I didn’t notice the red on any version of him
In my head Megatron is entirely greys and blacks outside of his eyes and Decepticon symbol, I just didn’t register any other red on there
#I mean I guess to be fair on cogless D it’s the least noticeable#but at some point yesterday I realized he had red on him and was shocked#(even though I had already drawn him with his reds prior)#I’m stupid#but yeah anyways#transformers#transformers one#d 16#megatron#random stuff
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GetBackers headshots since I finished rewatching the anime a bit ago with a friend. Some of these men were impossible to draw!! Had to redraw Akabane 3 times and I'm still not sure if I captured him well.
#getbackers#fanart#ban midou#ginji amano#i ain't tagging every single character#ain't nobody got time for that#just the two main gays will do#is there a reason why i drew kazuki in the last batch you ask?? despite the fact that i love him????#well yes#i had drawn a spicy pic of him prior to starting on these#so in my mind i had already drawn him and there was no need to include him in the lineup#but then as i was about to post the first two pages i was like HUH this looks wrong#and it was cause kazuki wasn't there#i set course to fix that immediately but#then i realized i had to pick 5 other characters to fill another sheet lmao#but hey it gave me a reason to draw Clayman and i had a lot of fun drawing her face
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Okay this has been driving me CRAZY since I watched the movie almost two years ago so I gotta talk about this. I haven’t personally seen anyone make a post about it but I did see this in a fanfic once (I unfortunately forget the name) which just fueled the fire for how crazy this drives me, so here you go!
I know people love the idea that Leo was in the Prison Dimension longer, that maybe the dimension’s time works differently than it does on Earth. That is insanely creative and really cool to see, the Prison Dimension has so much potential to be explored but…what if it was even more plausible that Leo was in there longer? But it had nothing to do with the dimension itself or its properties?
So at the beginning of the movie, we see Future Mikey make a time gateway into the past to the day the Key got stolen, right? He stretches out his arms, and rips that hole in the fabric of time and space, and sends Casey to the past. And then, y’know, explodes, but that's besides the point.
What does Mikey do to save Leo from the Prison Dimension?
He does the exact same pose, the exact same technique. Of course this was probably just done for the parallel, but…what if Mikey can’t open regular portals?
What if that was another time gateway?
Obviously it couldn’t have been as much time as Future Mikey did, since Leo didn’t look any older. So what if he was in there for just a few extra minutes? A few extra hours? Maybe a few extra weeks, or even a few extra months?
None of them would have any idea. Only Leo would. If it were just a few extra minutes, no one would have any way of knowing. If it were a couple days or weeks, maybe Leo thought it took them awhile to actually get him out and didn’t realize it was the same day. (Sure he could’ve figured it out from the scenery after getting out, but like. He got beat up pretty bad, he could’ve been too out of it to realize)
It doesn’t really make sense to me either to have Mikey be able to make portals like Leo does. I adore Mikey, he is INSANELY powerful and I love all his crazy abilities, but Leo’s like. One thing is that he can make portals and teleport. It feels strange to me to have Mikey also have that. Like it’s cool, but at the same time it would be the EXACT same power then.
So, in other words for all of this, oh my god I cannot wait till I’m done writing my current fanfic and can move on to the next one.
#is that last line spoilers? mmmaybe#him being in there longer makes so much sense when you consider this portal#I'm sure I'm not the only one who realized this beyond that one fanfic I cant recall but I had to put my analysis into words#imagine if he spent months in there just staring at that photo and smiling. knowing his family was safe at least#imagine how Mikey would feel if he found out...the guilt#evil cackling#rottmnt#rottmnt movie#future mikey#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt leo#prison dimension#save rottmnt#rottmnt kintsugi#spoiling the name of my next fanfic in the tag prior to this one :D
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#trauma days are so weird bc tell me why i didn’t even realize my trauma day yesterday till like 4pm#when i’m usally dreading it for like an entire week prior to#i was like is this was healing feels like! not even realizing it!#and then i had a perfectly fine evening until it was time for bedtime#but of course at bed time everything came rushing into my brain all at once#and it was horrible#anyway it still sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!
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There is a platonic explanation for all this. Right?
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#[accidental kiss] is a purposeful misspelling to reference an old meme. I will blast anyone who tries to correct me with the crunchiest png#The kiss looks like wwx is biting lwj's cheek....It *does* have the consistency of a soft marshmallow so he's not in the wrong.#Once again: wwx was never *ever* oblivious to the implications of the situation. On the contrary: this entire scene + the prior shows-#that he very much understands that this looks gay to the viewers.#He just doesn't think its possible to be loved like that. *Especially not by Lan Zhan.*#Do people forget that LWJ had 13 years to process his feelings VS WWX's (give or take) week?#This is the moment he realizes wwx has feelings and he HATES HIMSELF FOR IT. He feels like he's betraying lwj's trust!#The demi feeling of having spent so long in a comfortable platonic relationship and then getting struck by the 'oh shit' moment.#Its not a soft 'Oh' - Its a 'Oh god they are going to hate me and I can't bear that. I need to be so normal about this or else'.#Pour one out for all of us who've had to go through the trials of trying to conceal the painful realization of deeper affections.#Anyway. *both* lwj and wwx fall in love kicking and screaming and miserable and clawing at the walls about it.#Continuity acknowledgement: wwx's hands are unbound at this point but I had a hellish time with blocking and this was a bit easier.
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doodles and some lore. I'm tired.
#Jay does this thing on second dates where he tests the other person#he wants to make sure they'd like all of him. every part of him that may throw others off or realize he's insane#Matt and Jay were friends during high school. dated in college and broke up just before finding out Jay was pregnant#they decided to co-parent Mona and just view one another as friends#Mona really likes Don and Tk. loves Peter. though dislikes Lucy quite a bit because of how much she hears Jay complain about her with Matt#Mona is very close with Jay despite living with Matt and only coming over to Jay during the holidays/some weekends#Jay moved into the complex about a year prior to meeting Peter. he's had 5 roommates since moving in#Lucy has been the worst compared to the rest but is the only one Jay tolerates (since she's young and reminds him of himself. pretransition#Jay and Don hated each other in the beginning. only really bonded over talking shit about a neighbor#and Jay saying “anyway I gotta finish watching the game.” Don saying how he wanted to too but his tv is fucked so they watch together#Tk does have feelings for Jay but Jay just can't take the hint. he simply just thinks he's making jokes and is very kind#Jay really cares about Lucy. he often checks up on her when she's out and buys her dinner if he didn't make anything for them#and she ofc tries to make his life easier by cleaning the apartment making him coffee in the mornings etc etc#also Jay and Don sometimes just talk about marriage. how both of theirs didn't work out (I headcanon that for Don)#how it'd go - Don: I just wish I showed her how much I cared... Jay: I chased mine down with a knife. didn't kill her though. I promise.#Jay also calls Don's kid (the cop) Don Jr. he doesn't mind it that much. it's mainly cause Jay never remembers his name#my art#yb peter#Yb don#Void#Jay#Yb tk#Yb lucy#none of them die btw. Peter kills some guy who treated Jay poorly#the entirety of Jay and Peter's relationship before the abduction takes place over June#I say so cause it was a bit alarming to Tk. Don and Matt how fast Jay was rushing into the relationship and such#anyway uhh idk what else to say
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IM A KNITTING GENIUS
#boycritter et al#realized i had made a mistake 3 rows prior#adn was able to fix it without having to undo all 3 rows
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Time and distance heals things I guess. My parents got into an abusive fight with me after i took markers and pens to most of my clothes in middle school to scribble doodles and social justice messages (most prominently, Save Darfur–which really needs to be a rallying cry again given that the genocide has kicked up again as the Sudanese civil war rages). They were worried I'd look "unpresentable" in my massively oversized boy graphic tees and baggy jeans held up only by the grace of God (this was all by choice btw, i had and have always despised tight clothing and by middle school I had shunned girl clothes all together). But now at 31 I make mention of writing messages in sharpie on new t-shirts and my mom thinks it's cool and my dad offered to buy me proper fabric markers (I declined bc the cheap shirts will prolly wear out before the sharpies fade anyway). Go figure
#it should be noted that both parents GENUINELY APOLOGIZED for how they treated me as a kid#i had gone non contact with my mom for about 8 years and with my dad for almost a full decade#things with my mom had been okayish for a few years prior to covid but we never really discussed it#but when covid hit they both independently (they've been divorced 4 years) realized there was every chance i would die#and that my medically fragile ass would die resenting them#so they really freaked out and began begging my forgiveness#in the same week too oddly enough. they didn't discuss it with each other before hand so that was a wild week#I'm not necessarily sure i forgive them but I'm not angry anymore#it doesn't absolve them but they grew up in the 'don't comfort your crying baby' era of childcare#and didn't know what to do with a child in constant chronic pain and agony and depression#it doesn't justify how they treated me but it does explain how it ended up like this#i feel sorry for them more than anything these days#Anyway tagging this as#child abuse#still tho
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Though Anne did not confide her fears, the conversation made a deep impression on Parker, who would remember in Elizabeth's reign 'the last words that ever her Majesty's mother spake to me concerning her.' Parker clearly felt honour-bound by whatever Anne had said to him, for he later referred to it on several occasions [...] Though Parker never divulged more on paper, it is tantalizing to consider whether he ever confided to Elizabeth the details of this final conversation with Anne. Perhaps she knew more about her mother's fall than she would ever reveal.
Young Elizabeth: Elizabeth I and Her Perilous Path to the Crown, Nicola Tallis
#W A H#nicola tallis#elizabeth i#anne boleyn#i don't mean this to sound mean and like it's possible it's not a text they would have used even so...#but i kind of really wish this book had been realized prior to the becoming elizabeth pre-production stage#so much potential.....#matthew parker
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