#at the same time not having lived here at all as an adult

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

because of yuu's living situation I like to think of them as the world's twisted Cinderella until proven otherwise, Crowley keeps making them do things tgat could get em hhurting they live in ramshackle

[Referencing this post!]

Well, that’s the beauty of Twst! A film’s references aren’t limited to just “this twisted character is our take on the Disney film counterpart”. Many different aspects of Twst’s lore could arguably fit as references to multiple films simultaneously.

For example, fans have pointed out that Yuu is like Alice, as both fell into another world. But Ace is also like Alice because he speaks up against the Queen of Hearts (Riddle) and gets into trouble for that. And now here you are, saying that Yuu is also like Cinderella because they live in ramshackle place and carry out chores for Crowley (the “stepmother” in this case). But then you have Trein, who is the character actually twisted from Cinderella’s stepmother, Lady Tremaine. Trein has two adult daughters who must be twisted!Anastasia and Drizella—however, fans have also pointed out that Cater’s two vain older sisters may also be references to Cinderella’s stepsisters. Then for all we know, there might be a real twisted Cinderella (we’ve yet to meet) that exists separately from Yuu, even if Yuu has similar circumstances as them.

That kind of worldbuilding is so interesting! It’s redundant in a way but also not at the same time. Really gives you the sense of being in a dream where the details all sorta mesh together… It’s fascinating.

[ziminy]

Nightshift rewritten pt1

Having Gojo and Geto as roommates was a problem

Tags: smut, mdni, college au, roommates (obviously), f!reader, rich kid Gojo, the reader is a bit shy and introverted, jealousy, Gojo and Geto are playboys, mästurbation, getting caught, humping, kinda mean Geto (cuz I like him like that *bite lip*), a little bit of misunderstanding but they fuck at the end because of it so we're good, fïngering, thighs fuckïng, the reader have boobs, praises, teasïng, Gojo having a (not so) little crush on you,

Author's note: Personally, I believe that those two can't pull even if their lifes depends on it, 100% zero play. But I like to be delusional so I'mma just close my eyes.

Pt2 Pt3 masterlist

roommates masterlist

You knew that living in a dorm had more disadvantage than benefits, but you didn't think that you'll fight with your roommate the first day you moved in. You lived in a shitty place filled with shitty people, so you couldn't understand why she was trying to cause problems instead of trying to maintain the peace.

You were both adults, you should have think rationally and at least ignore each other. But no, she decided to bring guys over, fucking them in there, sometimes even when you were in the room asleep. One time waking up to her getting fucked in her bed since she decided to be so loud for the whole floor to hear.

She would throw her trash into your side of the room just to not clean, and start arguments left and right because it was fun for her.

What made you snap was when she started stealing your stuff. It started with small stuff like a few pencils here and there, or supplies that you payed money for it. Until she started stealing your clothes and wearing them, showing them off like you didn't know who the right owner was.

You had enough of her, so, you packed your stuff one time when she wasn't there and moved them into the back of your car, spending the next few days at a friend. One more day in that dorm and you'll sure commit murder.

You were embarrassed of your situation, can you believe your really ended up like this? Not having a place to call home and wandering around looking for a place to stay, even your friends were helping you and it made you feel more guilty.

Couldn't you had seen this problem before it happened? You were so excited at first, still remembering the way your heart was beating while sitting in front of the dorm, admiring the building and day dreaming about how wonderful your life would be. And now your hitting your head against every single wall you see, cursing yourself out for being such a fool.

"I know a guy that can help." one of your friends said, trying to reassure you. "We'll figure it out, don't worry." if you weren't surrounded by good people you would have quit and go home. However, you didn't expect to meet that guy the same day. He appeared a few minutes later like he knew he was needed. "Y/N, this is Satoru, the guy I told you about."

"Hi." you kept your words very minimal, trying to study his appearance and figure out what kind of person he was before you decided to accept his help or not. But can you blame yourself when your trust have been broken?

He was tall and well build, broad shoulders and a cocky smile on his face. His white hair was matching his shirt, and it was making him shine under the sun light, attracting all the attention to him. Round glasses on his face, a big designer logo could be seen on the sides of it. He didn't said a word, tilting his head to the right and looking down at you.

You looked the total opposite of him. While he looked like he was bathing in the blood of virgins maidens to remain forever young, you looked tired, like you haven't been able to sleep in the past few days at all. You hair all over the place, not wanting to cooperate with you today and the more he looked at you the more defects he can find. However, you catch his attention.

Even if you looked like a lost puppy left out in the rain, you looked so cute. It only made him feel like he could fix you, shower you with affection and get you at your best. Or, he could give you a few issues that you'd never be able to recover from. Or even worse, you end up fixing him, make him realize how much of an idiot he is and make him to finally settled down.

"Have you found anything yet?" your friend asked him, seeing how both of you looked at each other without saying a single sentence.

"Find what?" he couldn't take his eyes off you, mouth half open as he's still thinking about the possibilities.

"A place for Y/N?" if he's being honest, he totally forgot.

"You can stay at my place." he said, still being affected by your gaze. All that he can remember is the color of your eyes and your lips.

"I can?" you asked, not sure that you heard him right. Will your problems end up this quickly or was he fucking with you?

"Yeah." he said without even thinking.

"Let me see the place first and I'll give you an answer after." now he was finally coming back to his senses.

What have he done? Like, seriously, what did he just say? He can't believe himself, letting himself being swiped off his feet by some girl he just met for the first time.

And now he couldn't help but feel anxious, trying to remember in what state did he left the house, or what if you don't like it.

But he took you there, showing you his not so humble abode and presenting you every single room in the house. Talking about the lore and stuff that happened in there. A few parties here and there, how he ended up buying a new couch or how he got his TV broken. You know, just normal stuff.

"Then.. When can I move in?" you asked when he walked you out, expecting you to say that you'll think about it, or how you're thinking of another place. Anything but the words you just said.

"Whenever you want." he said, still not believing how smooth everything was going.

"I already have all my stuff ready, I can bring them here any time you're free." even better.

"How about now?" he said, wanting to feel your presence for a little longer.

"Sure." and by the end of the day you're already moved in, now unpacking everything in your room.

You were finally at peace. You had a place to stay, your own room and the guy you're living with is a busy person, so he won't even be there most of the time.

That night you finally managed to get a good night sleep. Placing your head on the pillow and shifting into the dream world instantly, dreaming about fluffy clouds and jumping from one to another, even biting some of them to see how they taste.

Everything was so peaceful, enjoying your time, walking around with cute stuffed animals by your side and laughing at your hearts desire.

It didn't lasted long because you heard a loud thunder, making you turn around to see someone far away, looking in your direction, waiting for your next move.

"Don't go, don't go." the squeaky animals said, trying to stop you from going in that person's direction. But you didn't listen, you kept walking forward, getting closer and closer to the mysterious figure.

You didn't even payed attention to the stranger, being more curious of why that place was different from the rest, why it's was so off settling. You looked back for a moment, still seeing the cute stuffed animals calling you back, but once again, you ignored them and turned your head away, continuing waking forward, now finally trying to see who that mysterious figure was. But to your surprise, the whole place became dark. The white clouds now black, the comfortable atmosphere now being suffocating, and the individual walking forward, getting closer to you.

You took a step back, trying to breath, but the closer he got, the more intoxicating the air became. "You're trapped now." a masculine voice could be heard from the person in front of you, leaning down to whisper those words in a mean manner right in your ear.

You gasped for air, finally waking up from whatever that dream was supposed to mean.

You were sweating, clothes sticking to your body and your head was hurting. The whole room was spinning and you couldn't help but think about what just happened.

It must be from the stress, all that negative energy building up, making you feel vulnerable. And now that you finally had time to rest, all that anxiety finally caught up with you. Yes, that must be.

You didn't even question the guy outside your room, waiting for you to get out and make a move.

"What's with all those boxes?" a masculine voice could be heard from outside your room, but it didn't belonged to the white haired man. After all, how could you forget his voice? It was haunting you even hours after you met him.

"About that." now, you could recognize that voice, there was no way it didn't belonged to Gojo.

"You what?" the other person said out loud, making you open your eyes. It was dark outside, who was making so much noises late at night?

You turned around in bed, looking for your phone and turning it on. It was 3 in the morning, tomorrow was a work day and no matter how much you think about it, there shouldn't be a commotion happening. Especially at this time.

Should you go and see what's going on? But it didn't sounded like you needed to get involved. In fact, your presence wasn't even required from the way the other guy was insulting Gojo. It was none of your business, whatever he did, he did it. You're not a witness since you only got here today, you don't know anything about that guy besides his name and the fact that he owns this place.

You'll see what happened tomorrow, it can't be that bad. And even if it was, it was none of your business.

So, the next day you got out your room. For once you managed to wake up early on your own accord, and you decided to see what happened last night.

You doubted that he would be there, especially this early. But the white haired man was in the kitchen, sipping something from his cup with another guy sitting a few chairs away from him.

"M-" you open your mouth, but you couldn't say a word when both of them turned to look at you. You cleared your throat, embarrassed at the way your voice cracked. "Good morning." you bite your lip, lowering your gaze and cursing yourself internally for making the moment awkward.

"Did you sleep well?" Gojo was all a smile, looking at your bed hair, happy to see you in such way.

The one next to him didn't looked happy tho, and if the way he cleared his throat to catch everyone's attention wasn't enough, then he doesn't know what more he needed to do.

"Ah, right. I forgot about you." Gojo laughed, but he was welcomed with his friend looking even angrier than before. "So, like, I don't know if I told you before but I share this place with my friend."

"You didn't mention this before." you said, making the dark haired man to raise an eyebrow, looking at you for a moment and then looking back at the one sitting at the table.

"Well, I said it now." the white haired man tried to excuse his behavior.

"Did he scammed you too?" the long haired man asked, shaking his head in disappointment. "How much did he ask for rent?"

"Not a lot." he told you to pay less than 50 bucks, per year. You were about to run from there when he said that, but then he explained to you how he doesn't need any money and how he's doing this to help you. Which was even more suspicious. "He told me that I can stay here for free." you said, remembering about how he didn't even wanted to accept money at first until you said you'll leave.

"Oh, really?" the dark haired man looked at his friend, still as unhappy as before.

"You're not even paying rent so why are you complaining?" Gojo rolled his eyes, annoyed at how Geto was acting.

"Are you asking me for money?" the way the man said that sounding threatening, like he ready to fight for real.

"Are you going to pay me?" they both stared at each other, questioning each other like they didn't already knew the answer. "Then why do you keep arguing about this?"

"It would have been nice to know before hand that someone is moving in."

"I'm sorry about it." you said, playing with the hem of your shirt. "He showed me the place yesterday, I already had everything packed and he said that I can just move in." the dark haired man just sighed.

"Well, whatever. It's already done." you knew it was crazy too, but you were desperate. But at least now you got to meet your other roommate.

This sounded so bizarre, it was too convenient for it to be a coincidence. Meeting some gorgeous guy, moving in with him the same day and then meeting another guy who's just as good looking as the other. And besides that, Gojo was filthy rich too, which makes this situation even more unreal.

Was this one of those situations of how I met your mother? Or was this some sort of prank and you were going to appear on tv for the whole world to see how stupid you are?

You'd believe it if at the end of this someone appears out of nowhere talking about how this was a big elaborate scheme to take revenge on you. Because there was no way this just happened out of nowhere.

Well, anyway. Now that you know who your roommates are, it was better to stay out their way. Mostly to not embarrass yourself in front of them. One wrong move and you'll throw yourself out the window, it was better to not test the waters at all to save some face and dignity.

And like this, a week passed. The house was as quiet as ever, your presence wasn't even felt and it's like both of them forgot you even existed if it wasn't for the shoes at the door.

It was Friday night, 11 something, almost midnight when you sneaked out your room, making your way to the kitchen. You were hungry, and if you didn't eat anything in that moment you feel like you'll pass out.

All the lights inside the house were turned off, it didn't feel like you were living with anyone. But you understood their schedule at this point. They were always out, only coming back home to sleep for a few hours and then disappear as soon as they wake up.

So, you didn't expect someone to walk in 10 minutes after you sat down at the long dining table. You were enjoying some leftovers and what else you found in the fridge, watching some funny video on your phone and giggling at it.

You almost choked when you saw Suguru walking in.

"It's you." he said, not even looking surprised to see you. But you on the other hand was dying, trying to swallow the food so you could run from there. "I haven't seen you these days." he walked to the fridge, opening it, then turned around to look at the table you were sitting at. "That was mine." you looked terrified, how comes you didn't thought about this before? "It's alright, don't worry. Satoru takes my food all the time." he said and walked towards you, sitting down next to you and taking something from the table to eat.

His friend whined the whole week about not being able to see you. He haves no idea what classes you were taking or at what hours, and now Satoru couldn't even talk to you in his own home.

Geto didn't understand what he saw in you. You were the total opposite of the women he hangs with. He knew his friend inside out, how could he not especially when they have the same type.

You didn't showed off, you didn't wear revealing clothes that made your body pop out. No, you were comfortable, wearing baggy clothes, not even bothering to doll yourself up for them. You weren't faking your personality and you weren't afraid of showing how you felt. You weren't trying to please them in any way, heck, you didn't even looked in their direction.

"You know, I wanted to talk to you about something." he said, seeing how you were trying to escape from there.

"Hm?" you tilted your head, deciding to stay for a little longer to hear him out.

"Me and Satoru shares our chores here. We don't do them everyday as you can see, but we do them once or twice a week." what a dull excuse. "Let me know what you wanna do next time." he doesn't believe shit he's saying.

"I see.." you didn't believe him either, did you? "I didn't know."

"Give me your number. I'll make a group chat so it would be easier for us to talk." Gojo better be grateful for all the work he's putting in.

"Alright." you gave him your number without thinking much about it.

"This is my number, and that's Satoru's. You can just save mine, forget about him." the dark haired man looked at you with the side of his eye, pointing at the phone numbers from the group chat he just added you in. He was testing you, to see what you'll say or do. "Just joking." he said when he saw you weren't reacting. "He'll be sad if you don't add him too."

"I don't think he will." you said, saving their numbers in your phone. Ah, his poor friend, you didn't even knew how you got him acting up in hope to catch your attention.

"Want to see how he'll react about it?" you shook your head. Right, you were a pacifist after all, what did he even expected. "Anyway, are you going anywhere this weekend?" you shook your head again, not having any plans and wanting to rest more. "I'm going to a party tomorrow. Why don't you come with me?" you looked displeased at his words, he noticed the way your nose scrunch.

"I don't like parties." of course you don't. He already knew the answer, but he was hoping he could get under your skin, play with you for a moment just to see his friend's reaction.

"Don't you get bored inside all day?" he would. He feel like he's suffocating staying in the same place for too long.

"Not really. I'm more comfortable here than outside." he really doesn't get what Gojo saw in you. You're so.. bland. You were too domestic.

"Well, the party offer is still available. Text me whenever you change your mind." he'll prove that you're the same as others. You just need a little bit of pushing, and he'll push you over your limits as much as it's needed.

But you didn't texted him that night. He waited and waited and he didn't got a single message from you. And the next day you had the audacity to appear in the kitchen, wanting to talk to them.

"About what we talked yesterday." you said, looking at the visibly annoyed man, and then at Gojo who was half asleep.

"What did we talked about yesterday?" the white haired man said, only remembering about the party he attended last night.

"I could do the groceries next week." you planned on going out to buy a few things anyway, so you're basically killing two birds in one stone.

"You're sure? There's a big list of things you have to buy." the dark haired man said, trying to push you into asking for help.

"Yeah, don't worry. I have a car, it's not like I'm carrying them from the store here." what a disappointment.

"Wait, what are we talking about?" Gojo finally came to his senses, seeing you appear out of nowhere and talking so casual, for once you didn't looked tired or scared to be there.

"Our chores. Suguru told me about it." all Geto did was to look at his friend, trying to telepathically talk to him, but his face said more than enough. Play along, that's all he had to do.

"Then I'll do the laundry." the dark haired man said, a smile appearing on his face. "And Satoru is doing the dishes."

"What, why me?" this was absurd.

"Because I'm doing them today."

"Anyway, I'm glad we managed to settle this." you said, turning around and ready to go back to your room.

"You could have texted, that's what the group chat is for after all." well, yes, but it was better to do some stuff face to face.

"What group chat?" Gojo was so far behind with this.

"Check your phone." that's all the dark haired man said, making his friend to get his phone out immediately.

"Anyway, I'll go now." and you disappeared from there.

Your life was supposed to be peaceful, wake up, do your usual stuff and then go back to sleep only to wake up and do the same thing again. Some would say that it's boring, but that's how your life is, and you don't want to change it.

However, the devils outside your room said otherwise, texting and texting even though it's not necessarily. Asking if you want to go out, or some other stuff that involves too much physical effort. You get it that they're trying to be friendly, but there's some boundaries and they don't seem to mind stepping over that line.

Your roommates are working full time trying to get you out your room. Sending you risky texts (nothing out of pocket, just stuff they wouldn't usually say), being extra extra nice with you, talking to you in a baby voice and if you're being honest, it's annoying. But you didn't said a thing, trying to help them save some dignity, knowing they probably don't even mean those words.

The stupid might not be so stupid after all. They been observing you, studying you, your likes, your dislikes, your body movements and you as a person. Their study so detailed that it had been a month and a half since you moved in, and now they're putting their plan in action.

It was almost midnight when your phone buzzed, your oh so lovely house mate Suguru send you a text. "Got some takeouts" and a photo of your favorite attached. You recognize the package, it was from your favorite restaurant. "Was on my way home and passed by that place, got something of what they still had left" he texted again. Lies, him and Satoru been placing orders left and right for all kind of food, the ones you like especially.

You thought nothing of it, walking out your room with a smile on your face as you went to taste whatever they have got home.

The next day it was Gojo's turn. Getting home a lot earlier, a bag with some black boxes inside, the name of a fancy restaurant written with gold on them.

"Y/N." he called your name, a smile on his face as he waited for you to come running to him. "Y/N." he said your name again, but you seemed nowhere to be found. God, what were you doing to him.

He left the bags in the kitchen, getting out of there and walking towards your room, opening the door without a warning and looking at you who sat in the bed.

You looked at him, looking a lot more relaxed than when he first met you. You were finally getting some sleep, and he feared that some random fucker would try to steal you from him.

You blinked a few times, eyelashes moving prettily, eyes as big as ever, and he had to mentally slap himself to keep his composure. Forget about the food, he wanted to eat you.

"I-" he took a deep breath, trying to figure out why he came to your room in the first place. "Got some takeouts from this restaurant I've been to." he had no idea what he was saying, he couldn't even hear himself. The way you look at him got him mesmerized.

"Okay." you got up, walking towards him, then into the kitchen.

The package looks expensive, and so did the food. You couldn't help but stare in awe, wandering if you're even allowed to look at it in the first place.

"Got invited to this restaurant that just opened." the white haired man said, looking at you eating. He's indifferent about the food, all he cares about is what you think.

"I see." you could only nod, taking a bite of another thing, tasting it and debating which one tasted better. "It's good." you said.

It didn't matter how much your stupid roommates would try to lure you out, if it wasn't food then it wasn't working. But they kept trying and trying, and they always failed.

Invitations to the movies, parties or even just a walk outside, you'd always decline. It didn't matter if all you had to do is cross the street, you'd say no. A part of you being too embarrassed to go out with them, I mean, what would people say if they see you together? Just look at them, you'll attract all the attention and that's terrifying no matter how much you think about it. Or what if people think you're fucking them or something? Oh god, what would your roommates say?

It wasn't like you wanted to keep that distance, it's just.. they're intimidating. The way they look down at you, corner you at the dining table and sandwiches you between them. The man spreading was real, taking all the space you had, making you feel so so much smaller. They would even take the air from your lungs if it was possible.

Was it wrong to say you liked it? How both of the men bend down to talk to you, or just look at you. Broad shoulders that were double your size, big chests that made you look down way too many times than you'd like to admit. It made you feel bad every time you think of it, but at the same time was it really your fault when they were some nymphs?

They don't seem to do a move, and even if they did, you couldn't figure out if it was some sort of hidden hint or if your overthinking it. They were nice, they were good roommates, but sometimes you wanted more than just little hello's here an there. You gotta do a move, but for the moment you have to think of a plan.

"You're home?" you said, walking into the kitchen and looking at the two men who were still in pyjamas.

"We're not going anywhere today." the dark haired man said, taking something out the fridge and walking next to you, wanting to go back to his room. "You're going somewhere?" he asked, looking at the dress you had on, making his friend look up his phone.

"I'm going out with my friends. I'll be back late." how did the tables turned. "Anyway, see you later." you walked out of there, finally going out for the first time in days.

Everything was going good so far. The weather was nice, you were having a great time, and so did your friends. But just like always, something haves to come up and ruin your mood.

"Y/N, you live with Gojo and Geto, right?" a friend of yours asked, finally letting everyone know of your living situation.

"Yeah." you said nonchalantly, not seeing why your friend should bring your roommates into the discussion.

"It's true? Spell the tea, and don't miss a single detail." another person said, but you weren't even sure of what to say.

"Which one have you slept with?" you saw your soul leaving at that question. "You haven't?"

"You didn't? Why?" you weren't sure yourself.

"We just live together, nothing more than the same old small talk." but you couldn't deny that they were tempting.

"You could have done it everyday since you live with them."

"Why are we talking about this?" you asked, confused on why you got in this situation in the first place.

"Don't you know?" you shook your head. "They're known for sleeping around." they are? Who could have guessed? You thought they had zero game.

"They're always out to party, in fact, you can't even call a party party if they're not there." one of your friends said, finally answering why your roommates were out all the time.

"They're so popular, there isn't a single person who doesn't know who they are." this have to be an exaggeration.

"So like.. About them.. You know, fooling around." you can't help but be curious. "How much are we talking about it?"

"I heard they take home a girl everyday." you never saw a single girl in there?

"I heard that they don't sleep with the same girl twice." what eccentrics.

"Haven't you heard about that girl that slept with Gojo three times? She's basically calling herself his girlfriend." what? He's in a relationship?

"No way. I saw him two days ago at a party. I almost went home with him." huh? Even your own friends?

"And you didn't invited me?" your other friend gasped then started laughing.

You were curious, just curious. And this cliche of a plot only got you in your thoughts. So, basically, your very hot roommates who seemed out this world had their own planet where they bang everyone but you. They go party all night and then leave with god knows who while you're at home in your room doing what you usually do.

It was none of your business, and yet you can't help but feel bad. What was wrong with you? Do you not have any kind of sex appeal? Was this why Gojo even asked you to move into his place? Because he knew he could leave you be? He should be happy that you looked in his direction to begin with.

More questions appeared, and you kept sulking for the rest of the day, even when you got home.

You shouldn't had asked, you should have minded your own business because now you can't help be sad. Why couldn't it be you?

"I'm back." you said while opening the front door, wanting nothing more than take a shower and then sleep for as much as possible.

"Welcome back." you heard Suguru's voice while you were taking your shoes off. "How was out?" tiring, but he didn't needed to know.

"Fun." you said, pushing your shoes to the side, out the way so no one would trip over them. "Got takeouts." you bought some without even thinking. It became normal for them to get something home that you did it without thinking twice.

"I'll get them." he got closer to you, picking the small bag from your hand.

He looked at you with a blank expression. You tried to mimic his face, not wanting to let anyone know about your foolish feelings, this jealousy that was eating you inside. And he picked it up fast, realizing you weren't feeling well.

"You're alright?" he tried to mask any kind of concern, not wanting to show that he cared.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?" you couldn't even smile, even if you wanted to.

"Did something happen while you were out?" that's the only explanation he could came up with. Why else would you feel bad if it wasn't that?

"It's just the weather. Don't worry about it." why was he asking if he didn't cared about you? His dumb pity wasn't making you feel any better.

"You can talk to me if you want. I'm always free for you." he talks like he's not free for others as well.

"It's alright. I'll go take a bath and then I'll feel better."

"If you say so." honestly, he was so annoying.

You walked away from there, to your room when you remembered about that bath. Some warm water and the smell of your body wash would work so good in that moment. So, you turned around, going towards the bathroom.

You were so tired, still in your thoughts, overthinking about this whole inexistent situation that you didn't heard the water running.

You open the door, expecting to see an empty bathroom, but instead you saw that somebody was inside. Back towards you and taking a shower, you could recognize that white hair anywhere.

For a moment you froze in place, your body refusing to cooperate with you when you kept yelling internally to run away from there. Your eyes however still worked, and it wander for a little. It traveled from his head, to his neck, and then on his bare back that was exposed to you. He extended his hand, grabbing the closest bottle that was next to him, your shampoo, and putting some in his hand, making you silently gasp.

Forget about your bad mood from earlier, now you were mad at the fact that Satoru was using your shampoo, next thing you know that he's using your towels as well. What if the other man was using your stuff as well? Was that why his hair was looking way too good lately?

You ran out the bathroom, going back to your room, too angry to even change clothes. You just jumped in bed and fell asleep, hoping to wake up and forget about everything that happened.

The next day came, and you woke up a lot earlier than usually. You were hungry, thirsty and your head hurts. You didn't even drank any kind of alcohol yesterday and yet it felt like you were feeling the worst hangover ever know to mankind.

With small steps you walked out your room, eyes still closed as you were trying to find your way to the kitchen.

"Morning, sleepyhead." that colorful voice, as much as you liked Gojo you really couldn't handle his teasing at the moment.

"Mm." you hummed something, looking for some water.

"Do you feel better?" the dark haired man could act like he doesn't know a thing, but instead he chose to embarras you.

"You drank too much yesterday?" Gojo asked, feeling left out by the fact that you went out to drink and you didn't think of inviting him. He wasn't that much of an alcohol fan but he could have come as emotional support.

"Didn't even seen a single drink yesterday." you said, opening a bottle of water. If you would had looked in a better conditions, you would have looked believable, but no. Your hair was in all directions, you looked tired than you should be, and your dress had seen better days.

"Where have you been last night?" Gojo's voice was too serious, and even his smile disappeared. Geto would have put the same question if he didn't saw you yesterday.

"Here, where else?" it's not like you had anywhere else to go. "Fell asleep the moment I sat in bed."

"What happened yesterday anyway?" Geto asked, trying to find out what got you in that mood.

"Did something happen yesterday?" why was Satoru the last one to find stuff?

"She came back yesterday looking sad."

"Did someone did something to you? Is that why you look like that?" seriously, Gojo was over reacting.

"Fell asleep without changing." you were too relaxed about this. While the men were concerned about something bad might had happened, you didn't even seemed to care. "Was too tired yesterday."

"And why is that?" they're too insisting, and you didn't understand why. This is only ruining your mood. If they don't care about you why are they acting so nice? Now you can't but overthink again.

"It's nothing, really." everyone could see the sudden change, from tired you looked a lot sadder now.

"I'll deal with it, just tell me the bastard's name." you wanted to laugh but you were afraid Gojo might actually do something.

"It's not like that."

"Then?" the dark haired man crossed his arms to his chest, leaning against the wall as he looked at you.

"I heard something I didn't like." that was all? They thought someone was bullying you or picking on you. "I mean, I don't know if it's the truth but it makes sense and that's what I don't like."

"Then don't listen to it." you shook your head.

"I had my speculations and now everything is confirmed." you could only sigh.

"Is your boyfriend cheating on you?" boy who?

"I'm not in a relationship." that's reassuring.

"If you don't like the truth just close your eyes. It's easy to ignore what you don't like to see." that explains a lot of their strange behavior, but at the same time you didn't want to do just like Suguru just said.

"It's hard to ignore it when it's right in front of me." what would they know when they're the cause of your distress? "Honestly, I feel much better knowing that I was right. Now I can avoid causing problems." somehow, neither of the men liked how that sounded. "Anyway, I'm going to take a shower and then go back to sleep." why did you even consider their opinion was a mystery, but you do feel better about yourself knowing that you're just being delusional. Live the way you did before meeting them, easy.

You're playing with their feelings, and yours as well. While they're all open for your opinion, and actually growing to have a soft spot for you, you turn your back on them.

What more did you needed from them? They're trying their best to understand you, they've been so understanding and holding back way too much, but you still don't get the hints.

But they also don't get your almost non existent hints. I mean, can their actions be counted as hints? But perhaps that's what's wrong, the fact that no one is actually trying to imply something.

Can this situation get fixed? You refuse to get out your room until you sort your thoughts out. It got to the point where no one have seen you in a week already and Satoru is so close on kicking your door down to drag you out of there.

Frustration keep building up, from both sides. And it manifested in different ways for everybody. While you went out a little more than usually, trying to enjoy some fresh air, your roommates were out getting from bed to bed, making their name more known that it already is.

It didn't lasted long for you though, and soon you went back being a lazy cat. Your social battery drained quicker than you thought, but not theirs. And one day you woke up with strange sounds in the middle of the night.

You were sleeping peacefully when it happened. Being long gone in the dream world when you felt like you were being dragged out of it. Confused, you looked around, trying to understand the situation, what exactly was going on. You got out of bed, walking back and forth in your room, thinking only the worst about this situation.

Your neighbor is hurt, and those sounds are because of it. Or worse, someone broke into the house and your home alone because of course you are, what do you even expect from the two men who lives under the same roof as you.

You open the door slightly, still paranoid, but you were trying to understand what was going on.

You picked one of the house slippers you had next to your bed, ready to hit who ever came close to where you were.

Feminine moans, and you still couldn't figure it out if it was pain or something else. But you finally understood what was going on after a while.

Who dared to wake you up because they couldn't keep it down? Right, how could you forget about how promiscuous those two guys were. What if you come home with a guy one day? At least you had the decency to think of going to a hotel or something, not here where everybody could hear.

Your mood is ruined once again. Can you believe the audacity? How could you have dream about banging one of them, or both? The thought is still nice, and you're not crazy enough to pass such an opportunity, but still.

It was almost noon when you woke up the next day. And as much as you didn't want to see those guy's faces, you were curious about the girl. What did she had and you don't?

Shy, you got out your room. Opening the door of your room softly and walking as quietly as possible.

You walked past the living room when you saw what a mess it was, making you stop in place and reconsider what happened. Maybe somebody did broke into the house yesterday?

Cautiously, you walked towards the couch only to see Gojo sleeping peacefully on it. A blanket over him and it wasn't even covering him. He was also not wearing a shirt, and you could only imagine how he was feeling in that moment. After all, it was always cold in the morning.

Feeling a little bit of sympathy, you decided to do something good for once, even if he was annoying at times. Lowering yourself, you grabbed the blanket and dragged it over him. What happened last night did ruined your mood completely, but this was his house. Your jealousy can be put aside for a moment.

"Mm." he groaned, turning around to face you. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times and looking at you, then blinking a few more times and trying to figure out if you're real or not.

"Did I wake you up?" your soft voice only made him feel guilty, for everything he did. For the fact that he open his door for you with not so clear intentions and the fact that he kept looking at girls who resemble you in a way or another. Just like he did yesterday, meeting someone who looks too much like you in the dark, bringing her home and fucking her on the couch because he didn't want to bring her into his room, and for you to hear. Good thing he stopped himself from bending her over the dining table, right on the spot you like to sit at or else he wouldn't be able to even look at you right now. "Sorry."

"I was awake." he's not even sure if he got any sleep at all.

"I thought you might be cold." the only thing he's feeling at the moment is stupid, and somehow regret but he's not really sure about that.

"I'm not." he said, finally getting up, sitting on the couch and looking around to see if the place looked the same as he remembers. The blanket fell off him, revealing too much of him. You could see his bare back, and a bit of his thighs which were just as naked as his upper body. He looked at you, noticing the way you were trying to figure out why there was so much skin showing. "I'm not wearing any clothes." he answered to your unasked question. "I'm naked." the look you had on your face was something he haven't seen before, and honestly, this small interaction alone was doing more to him that anything he had done for the past few weeks.

You took a few steps back, making him laugh.

He rested his back against the couch, he wasn't even looking at you but he knew exactly what expression you had. "Why did you ran? Don't you wanna see more?" all he got in response was the sound of you walking away, hurried steps getting out the room and leaving him alone once again.

He's not good at communicating, and he's trying to mask that by a goofy facade, hoping you and everyone else won't notice. But man, it kinda hurts. He can't explain why, since he doesn't know why. He just feel dumb, useless for doing things he doesn't want to and still expect stuff to be the same, or even better.

Can you forgive him? He'll try to do better from now on. Either this or he'll bring girls over and over in hope to catch your attention.

"I'll go out, doubt I'll come back until tomorrow." Geto texted in the group chat.

"Me too :(" Gojo also sent something. "Don't miss me too much." you looked at the texts, and you can't be more thankful. You needed some time alone, like, all alone. Just you,the whole house for yourself and the sound of nothing.

"I'll stay home. I don't have any plans for today or tomorrow." and you're happy with your life.

"Don't get too crazy while we're out." the only wild thing you can do is take a cold shower instead of a hot one.

"I won't." and now you were waiting.

Your day was peaceful, watching a movie and then scrolling on social media. You didn't even noticed when it got dark outside, and now you're bored.

You have the whole house for yourself, you're all alone. No one is here besides you.

You're used to them being out, but now it just feels different. You were alone, and you didn't liked it. It was a shame to not have company on such a beautiful night.

Was it wrong to say you craved for some human touch? To feel the warmth of someone else, and perhaps the embrace of said person. It doesn't even have to be something sexual, or romantic. It can be just a simple interaction, no words needed.

You didn't even realize when you started rubbing your thighs together, your body feeling too hot for your own good. And the more you think about it the more it bothers you.

You're alone right now, aren't you? No one is there to disturb you. You can just.. indulge yourself, I guess?

With a quick movement, your pants were somewhere in the room, your shirt up your body, revealing your breasts and your panties to the side. Some porn playing on your phone and it wasn't much for help. That was until you saw one particular video, a man that seemed familiar in a way or another over a much smaller body. Your pussy twitching at the realization of who that man looks like. It looked just like one of your roommates and you were so ashamed for being turned on, but you couldn't help but look for similar stuff.

You needed more of them, anything that resembles your roommates, you needed to see it. It can be the hair, the body, or the way they just fuck. Anything that sparks something in your head, anything that screams them. You can't help but moan just thinking about it.

With a hand between your legs, you tried to mimic the movement of who ever was on your screen, moaning quietly when your imagination was going too wild.

Lost in your own world, you didn't even heard the front door opening, or the steps that were getting closer to your room. You didn't got a text that would warn you about someone coming home, so you weren't worried. Instead you were focused on that orgasm that kept building up, it was so close and you're trying really hard to keep your mind focus, away from those roommates of yours.

The man outside your room froze in place, your door was slightly open and he had a clear view of your bed and your little alone time. He could say something, but at the same time he didn't want to. Seeing you in that situation was too fascinating. Like, who would have thought the little angel that keeps herself from the world would do something like this?

It got him curious, what were you watching? What got you like this in the first place? The moans you leave out from time to time, not sure yourself if you should let them out or not.

What got him to almost open the door and get in your bed was when you came, holding back a moan that he just knows it would get him weak in the knees. You were trembling, eyes closed and biting your shirt to not let anything you might regret out. And you kept going even after you came, this time looking more desperate than before.

He couldn't keep it like this, he haves to do something. So, without thinking, he turned on his phone.

"Something came up, I'll be back in a few minutes." you got a text, looking at the name of the person that sent it and then letting out the moan you were holding back earlier. Suguru.

It only got you feeling more fucked up than you were already. Letting go of your phone and focusing on that annoying aching from between your legs. "Fuck." you cursed without realizing. Letting out small please as you tried to cum at least one more time before he 'came back'.

To his disappointing, you didn't came a second time, putting your clothes back on quickly and trying to make it look like nothing happened. He had no choice but to walk back to his room and try to sleep this off or else he won't be able to leave you alone for the rest of the night.

He couldn't sleep at all, thinking about your reactions, how his text got you moaning harder than before. What were you watching? Was it something he should be aware of? But he couldn't just take your phone and look at what you were looking.

He refuses to live with this information and let you go off easily. You had to pay for your actions. I mean, how could you not ask for help? And how could you let him see you like that when you didn't planned on letting him have any.

So, imagine how surprised he was to see you act like nothing happened the next day. Making him think there was something wrong with him for staring at you way too intensely. But he got a plan. You had to give up at some points, and he'll just help you give up sooner than later for your own good.

"I'm on groceries duty this week?" the dark haired man asked, already knowing what he he'll do.

"Yep." his friend said, looking in his phone.

"You're coming with me, Satoru." he said, a smile on his face and all he could think of was the sweet taste of your pussy on him.

"Why?"

"Just do it. Don't ask so many questions." and the two guys were off.

Now, Geto's plan would work only if you do as he planned. All he haves to do is deny you for a few days, cockblock you and leave you hanging just enough to become dumb for him. Then he haves to act like the knight in shining armor and help you, since he's a gentleman.

That's why he got Gojo with him, leaving him in the middle of the store and running home just to see what you'd do. And to his surprise, you were acting just like he wanted you to. Stuffing yourself full of your fingers, all in a hurry to release yourself from the previous time you couldn't. A hand over your mouth, trying to not let anything out, to not get too comfortable with this. But it was so hard, and you couldn't help but let a few sounds out once in a while.

He really doesn't get you. Why not asking for help? Both of the men were easy, a few nice words or just a nod and they'll be all over you. Heck he's the easiest person he knows. Give him a pretty look and he'll fuck you just the way you want. So why do you keep refusing to acknowledge them, or him at least?

He gulped, biting his lip before he open his mouth. "I'm back." he said it in a quiet tone, to make it look like he was further away than he actually was.

He loved this, the panicked look on your face and trying to gather your composure. Oh , he'll enjoy playing with you.

At first he would just pop out of nowhere, making sure you don't get any time alone, at least without acknowledging his presence. But now he would invite himself in your room whenever he walked past it. Slightly opening the door to catch a glimpse of whatever you were doing. It didn't matter if it was in the middle of the day or at night when he was supposed to sleep.

He can see how frustrated you were, and he couldn't be more happier than this.

"I don't wanna go." Gojo whined, looking at his phone only to sigh. "They'll force me to stay over the night." he pushed his phone far away from him.

"Then don't go?" you didn't understand why he was complicating himself when he could just stay home.

"Another of your family gatherings, huh?" the dark haired man said, making you realize that it was more than it looked like.

"Ah.." you scratched your neck. "We'll miss you." if he had to go, he had to go.

"I wish that I could take Y/N with me, but they'll never let go of it if I take someone with me." the white haired man groaned.

"Good luck." you can't really say much since you don't know how his family was like.

"Are you doing something tonight?" Geto asked, looking down at you and waiting for an answer.

"No."

"Really? Because you look very busy to me." you didn't understood his words. "Why don't you watch a movie with me then? I don't have anything better to do."

"I also wanna watch a movie." the white haired man whined.

"We'll watch when you come back." his friend said, but he wasn't really sure of that.

"I mean, sure." oh, if you only knew what your sweet roommate actually had in mind.

The time went painfully slow. But now it was dark outside once again. And Suguru could feel his palms sweating. What if everything goes as he wanted? He knows he kept thinking about it, but he can't see himself in an adulterous situation with you.

You're just there. You don't do much, you don't talk much and he's used to that. He's used to think about it, always putting what if in front of his day dreams. He was making fun of his friend for being such a dork but now look at him, actually concerned about this whole situation. What if nothing goes as he planned? Or what if it does?

Fucking without any feelings, that's what he's used to. But now this got him thinking that he should run to the closest flower shop to get some roses. Maybe some candles too?

"Suguru, are you awake?" a soft knock on his door woke him up from his thoughts.

"Y- Yeah." his voice betrayed him. "I didn't even noticed the time." he lied, finally opening the door and stepping into the hallway.

"What are we watching?" you moved your eyelashes so prettily. He's afraid he won't last that long next to you, especially since you're alone.

"I don't know." he didn't think that further yet.

In the end, you turned on the TV on a random channel, watching whatever it was on. A movie about a man trying to be a hero, the same old generic plot, with the same over the top acting and action. Lots of explosion and lots of unnecessary stuff. But it was the perfect movie for your situation.

No love included, no sweet words or couples. It was enough to make the two of you forget about the awkwardness between you two. Or so you thought. Because halfway through the movie the female lead appeared. And some time later the two actors were getting it on.

You couldn't help but stare in disbelief, the sex was so dry that you're surprised they let the scenes in the movie. On the other side of the couch, your roommate was trying his best to not look at you or else he might do something out of pocket.

You, however, didn't feel the same as him. So you turned your head towards him, looking at how uncomfortable he was. "You're alright?" don't look at him, don't look at him, don't- "This movie is stupid." you laughed, thinking that's what he wanted to say as well but he decided not to. "Wanna watch something else?" right, how did he not think of that?

Taking the remote, he changed the channel. And this one was even worse. Without any warnings you were looking now at two other actors making out like there was no tomorrow. And as much as he wanted to see your reaction, he changed the channel without hesitating.

Third time with luck. No explicit actions, just two actors out in the city, walking next to each other.

"I always wanted to tell you this, ever since I first met you." the male actor said, looking at his costar a bit too lovingly.

"I also have something to say." the female actor said, looking a bit shy and red in the cheeks.

"You go first." the male actor said, biting his lip and holding back whatever he wanted to say.

"Do you think this is a spy movie?" you asked, trying to alternate the plot even if it was obviously what was going on.

"I like you." one of the actors said and it made you sigh.

"Never mind." you shook your head.

"It would have been funny it if was." at least he was on the same page as you. And once again, he changed the channel, for your own goods.

"Thanks god it's ads." you could finally breath in peace.

You watch some cartoons and then change the channel again when it got too boring. The movie from earlier where those actors were confessing their love was now filled with obscene scenes. And unlike before, they actually looked they really were in heat. Touching each other like there's no tomorrow, the kisses looks so real that you won't be surprised if they actually start fucking. Even the moans sounded real.

Not wanting to look at that for any longer, you turned off the tv, breathing heavily and hoping you don't look like you're affected by it.

You gulped, wanting to see how the man next to you was doing, but at the same time you didn't want to look because you knew this was going to be a long night the moment you gave him any attention. And he was feeling the exact same, not daring to move an inch because he knew he couldn't keep his hands away from you for much longer.

Curiosity got the best of you, and in the end you ended up turning your head towards him, at the same time as he looked at you.

No one said a thing. The silence was too audible, but somehow comfortable.

"Come here." he said, resting his back against the couch and waiting for your move. You'd probably run, like you always do. That's what he expected you to do, but imagine his surprise when you got closer, looking at him with big eyes and waiting for his next command. He's not convinced yet, I mean, this was too good to be true, there haves to be a catch. "Here." he pat his lap, waiting to see if he could have you for the night or not.

You got on his lap, your legs on either sides of him and your hands on his shoulders. His hands travelled on your hips, moving them up your body, grabbing one of your boobs for a moment before he let go. He dragged you closer, lowering his head just enough to get a better look at you before his lips touched yours.

He's testing the waters, trying to see what you allow him to do, where your boundaries were before he'll let you have more of him.

But you didn't pushed him away no matter what he did. He could explore your body freely, there was no forbidden zone, he could touch all of your body and that only made him greedier.

All the shyness from earlier evaporated, all the awkwardness and doubt went out the window the moment the kiss became a much deeper one. Now you were eating each other out, hands all over the place and dragging the other closer whenever one got a little away.

"Let me take it off." he got away for a moment, taking your shirt off with a single movement. His lips were now on your neck, going down to your breasts and biting them, leaving marks all over the place.

This wasn't his usual style, marking his territory and making out. He usually just gets to the business. And he been lying if he said he didn't like what he's doing now.

One of his hands went to your ass, dragging you closer, moving yourself right on his hard cock that wanted to escape from his pants. He's about to lose it but at the same time he wants to take his sweet time because he haves a feeling that you'll run away from him tomorrow.

He guided you at first, moving you on him so both of you could get some friction, a little bit of relief before the big thing happens.

He kissed you, again and again. From your lips to your neck, sucking on your nipples and then back up. He wanted to know he been there before anyone else or at least before his absent friend.

You moaned quietly, letting out sounds bearly audible, holding back anything louder than that. But it was alright, he'll make you louder later.

The image of you stuffing your pussy with your fingers, desperately to cum was now playing in his mind.

He wants to try that, his cock is twitching just thinking about how warm and wet you must be.

He got you off him, getting up and looking at your disappointed face. "Take off your pants." he tried to keep his words minimal, but it was more than enough to get your face change in a instant.

Your actions holds more power over him than you think. It got his mouth watering just looking at you.

He took you in his arms, walking towards your room, almost kicking the door down so he could get in faster. He placed you at the edge of your bed, taking your panties off and stuffing them in his pocket, not even caring if you noticed him or not. Then he took his shirt off.

Pushing you in bed and hovering over you, placing your legs over his thighs so it would stay open. With a finger, he traveled in between your folds just to see how wet you were. How can he hold back when he haves you like this? He doesn't even think he can put his dick in just yet, who knows when he'll lose his composure and fuck everything up. One moment inside your warm pussy and it's over for him.

"Stop staring, it's embarrassing." your small voice didn't helped him with the demons inside of him.

He bite his lip, getting two of his fingers slowly inside your pussy. It was hard to hold back whatever words he had to say, he especially didn't wanted to let out any praises after you played with his feelings.

You feel a lot better than he expected, and his bars were already high. Somehow you manage to always exceed his expectations. Can you blame him when he started to move his fingers deeper and deeper? He just wanted to see how far he could go, see where your sweet spots are so he could give them the attention it needed.

Curling his fingers to see how you'd react, moving in and out at a fast speed only to slow down and curl his fingers again. You almost started crying when he started rubbing your clit. He was so focused on torturing you, showing you that it was better with him giving you what you needed than doing it yourself.

And when you came it wasn't even better, he kept his hand movement, overstimulating you just to show you that he can. But you too could play his game, tugging at his shirt to drag him closer to you and kiss him, making him stop for a moment. Ah, right. You probably wanted more than just his fingers after all this time he kept tormenting you.

He took his fingers out of you, making you feel empty. Now focusing on kissing you. The way he takes everything so slow was annoying, and you tried to grab his shirt, to get it off him. But that only made him laugh. "I'm not going anywhere." he said with a smile on his face, surprised at how impatient you were.

He can't say he doesn't get it, because he understands how you feel perfectly. And as much as he wants to tease you more, he can't. So he did as you pleased, taking off his clothes. Your eyes on him the whole time.

He got on top of you once again, getting in between your legs and staring at you. His cock resting on your lower stomach, just to get an idea of how much he could fit inside and man, looking at the size now you're a little scared, but still very much aroused.

As much as he wanted to turn a blind eye on this, he couldn't. Not when he sees how you look at him. Guess he was right about not being able to go all the way in today. He'll have to take small steps and he's afraid he doesn't have that much time.

So, he pressed your legs together, placing them over his shoulder, getting his cock in between your thighs. "You can't handle it." his words didn't made you happy. I mean, even if it was true, wasn't he supposed to suport you? Compliment you and tell you how good your doing, that you can take it.

He moved his hips slowly, ignoring the expression you're giving him and focusing on the friction. God, next time he'll get his hands on you he won't leave you alone.

You calmed down, now examining his face, his movement and how you could see the tip of his cock every time his pelvis touched the back of your thighs.

An idea appeared in your head, and you flexed your thighs, looking at the way he groaned, gripping your skin harder.

"You like it?" you were curious, just wanting to know how he feels, but he interpreted your words differently. "Should I do it again?" are you mocking him? Because if you continue like this he'll make this harder for you.

Your eyes had something innocent in them, like you were genuinely curious about his pleasure, yet he refused to believe it. I mean, you had him in such a desperate state, there was no way you weren't laughing at him.

"Close your eyes." he placed a hand over your eyes. He was feeling too embarrassed for his own good.

"I like looking at you." you tried to take his hand away. "You're cute." all he did was to groan in response. "Let me look at you, come on." you spend way too much time thinking about this to not be able to see him.

"Stay put or I'll fuck your pussy so good you'll forget your own name." he kept barking something between his teeth. But you didn't listen to his empty words. You wanted to see him in action not just talking.

"Come ooon." you whined, not listening to his threat.

Instead of any more words, you were met with him spreading your legs and his cock right against your pussy. You wanted to look at him? Then look.

Your heart was beating way too fast, and he wasn't even paying you attention. Slapping the tip of his cock against your wet folds, rubbing it up and down, and the slapping your poor pussy again. Taming brats was one of his favorite activities after all.

No matter how much he wants to show you that he's not just talk, he's true to his words. He'll let this slide this time.

So, to show you that he can still give you something without his cock deep inside of you, he got his body closer to yours. Pressing his thick length against your pussy, right onto your clit, and moving his hips slowly for you to get used to this feeling.

You did know your place after all, and yet you liked pressing his buttons. Lucky you he enjoyed your company or else he wouldn't have taken your teasing that lightly. But the more he thinks about it the more it gets on his nerves.

He started to let some of his weight into you, pressing his pelvis into yours harder, moving his hips faster. His hot breath against your ear, letting nothing but filthy sounds out, moans just for you to hear. And he was met with your nails into his back, dragging him closer, wanting to feel more of him on you, your legs wrapped around his waist and you wished nothing more but to see him from a third view, to have a better look at his back and just him in general.

Your moans, he wanted to eat them up. He was trying his absolute best not to kiss you in that moment. Because if he does, it's most likely he'd get used to it, and he doesn't want that.

"Suguru." the way you said his name got his cock twitching. "Kiss me." he groaned. You'll be too spoiled if he fulfills every single one of your requests. "Please?" he had to bite your shoulder in order to keep a moan from coming out.

Stop playing with him, for fucks shake. Can't you see he's unwell? Look at the way he's moving his hips, always doing what makes you feel good. He's not acting like his usual self. He's not selfish, he's not seeing this as a quick way to get off then say goodbye. All you could do in that moment is not give him attention, make him feel indifferent but instead you want more of him and it pissing him off because he wants more too.

"I want to cum inside you so bad." he let his thoughts out, too lost on how wet your pussy was, leaking out so much that it got on his dick without doing anything.

"Don't." you shook your head, not wanting to deal with any surprises.

He let you have unnecessary request, and yet he's not allowed that much? Perhaps you're the greedier one here. And he too can be mean.

Without much warning, he smashed his lips against yours, devouring you as his cock rubbed against you harder, in a much friendless pace. Trying to suck the soul out of you, muffling any sounds you might let out.

One of his hands on the side of your thigh, rubbing it up and down and sending chills down your spine. His tongue in your mouth and you can't hold it together for much longer.

Wrapping your hands around him, you left out a broken whine, that only got to him. You were so close to your release, he could practically pull that orgasm out of you if he's trying a little bit harder. But he'll be merciful tonight, mostly because he'll lose his mind if he doesn't.

You didn't lasted much longer, and seeing you cum makes him want to cum. And man, he came all over your belly, breathing heavily and resting his head against your shoulder.

"You did good." you said, going with your hand through his hair.

For a moment, he allowed you to praise him, closing his eyes and bathing in your scent and you kept petting him. But it didn't lasted for long because he came back to his senses, getting off you and helping you clean yourself.

He still can't believe he came that hard from nothing. If he stayed in your arms for any more longer he would have screw everything up. Even if he wants to leave you alone, run out your room and don't look back at it at least until tomorrow, he stayed. Watching you fall asleep before he left quietly, doing the walk of shame to his room and rethinking his whole life and everything he did wrong until then.

[grammarpedant]

Nope. Trap card #2, activated: There's no evidence that Gurathin is from the Corporation Rim.

The fanon that Gurathin is CR comes from a single line in Exit Strategy: Ratthi says, "It came to Preservation packed into the hold of that much bigger ship, the one that’s become the station, with our grandparents. Well, not Gurathin’s grandparents, he came later." Personally, I think there's even room here to interpret Gurathin as being born on Preservation as the child of immigrants, if Ratthi's use of "he came later" is taken as an imprecise synecdoche for Gurathin's family origins as a whole. Given that this is Ratthi "I'll get the cases" "I'm a biologist, I don't understand this money stuff" being sentimental and distractable in this scene, it's a fair cop.

Either way, "came later" does not mean "from the Corporation Rim." There are plenty of other places in the setting that are neither Preservation nor the CR. As early as Artificial Condition another set of non-corporate polities is mentioned, Rami's Divarti Cluster; it's not clear whether Don Abene's homesystems in Rogue Protocol are corporate or noncorporate, but she certainly has no "bone-deep" fear of SecUnits; Fugitive Telemetry meanwhile expounds on travel routes through Preservation Station stretching elsewhere "outside the Rim." The Rim is only one group of places that a human could be from.

No, people are mixing up Gurathin's backstory with Human One's. It's Human One who is the former corporate contract slave, and SHE is the one who acted rationally on her bone-deep, knee-jerk fear of SecUnits in shooting Murderbot in the back. She's not the only corporate-background character to interact with MB, though—even if we did want to headcanon that Gurathin did hail from the CR, we might just as reasonably compare Gurathin's "We just have to keep you immobilized" to Ras and Eletra's "Just tell it to take orders from us" and "It seems like you don't know how to control it" in Network Effect. Their corporate fear and prejudice and desire for control certainly does not stop them from thinking—with clear self-interest, if not rationally or clearly.

People can headcanon whatever they like, of course. By all means, if giving the backstory of a strong and fascinating female character to Gurathin tickles the fancy, then I encourage people to do that on their own time. But this post is my post, and I am not obligated to care about the things people made up outside the text in my analysis of the text.

Finally, let me address a point that's cropped up more than once now. We all know it's not easy to set aside prejudice and in-group bias and fear of the unknown to make rational or kind decisions. We all live in the real world and many of us have personally had to wrestle with the effects of unthinking fear and prejudice, both others' and our own. The Murderbot Diaries is a series that speaks to us as full thinking adults on this matter, that's why kindness is presented as a rational choice, not merely a morally right one. The series acknowledges that it's hard, but at the same time doesn't allow you to wallow in your own struggles to the exclusion of others'—it still asks you to try to see other people clearly for who they are and what they need, and use what agency you have to do right by them. Gurathin fucked up in this scene, then later stepped up and learned better, and rather than focusing over-much on how hard he had it we should learn from his example and do better.

Gurathin is not only wrong, his argument is fundamentally irrational

Gurathin's argument in ASR:

We need to immobilize this SecUnit stat, because it's going to kill us.

I know it's going to kill us because its logs show that it's rogue. If there is no way to control it, then it is dangerous to us.

It is controlled by the Company to sabotage us. "The missing hazard report, the missing map sections. The SecUnit must be part of that." If it wasn't, that would be a coincidence, which is unbelievable.

This SecUnit has gone rogue and killed people in its charge before. It may do so again.

PresAux's counterargument:

It may be rogue, but that doesn't logically mean it will kill us. "The fact that the Unit has been acting to preserve our lives, to take care of us, while it was a free agent, gives us even more reason to trust it." (Volescu)

Someone may be sabotaging us, but that doesn't logically mean it's the Company or our SecUnit. "There were only three SecUnits for DeltFall in their specs, but there were five units in their habitat. Someone is sabotaging us, but I don’t think our SecUnit is part of it." (Ratthi)

If the SecUnit was trying to sabotage us, then why would it tell us about the combat module sabotage and shoot itself? (Bharadwaj, Overse)

The SecUnit believes it went rogue as a result of malfunction, and that hacking its governor module would prevent a repeat occurrence. Confirmation of its sincerity comes from the same logs that Gurathin accessed for his arguments. (Volescu)

Gurathin's counter-counterargument:

Well it gave itself an edgy nickname

[bwat5-blog]

Quick Response To Some Nonsense

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

Hello all, no fancy lead in today just a response to some recent stances taken on Cait/Vi, in particular their breakup. Of course this is simply my interpretation, but I felt strongly enough seeing it that it was worthy of a refutation. As I am keeping this centered on the stances themselves and my responses I won't be doing my usual laying the groundwork, so if you have any questions feel free to ask or check out my other stuff! Let's dive in!

The primary reason Caitlyn shuts down and does what she does is because Vi took the choice away from her after they had agreed on it. And that Caitlyn had lived a life always struggling to be able to make her own choices because of her parents: Okay, on the surface, totally fair. Yes, they had agreed on a plan as to how this had to go down and Vi stopped Caitlyn from carrying it out. However, there is SO MUCH MORE going on here.

First and foremost, Vi's reasons for stopping Caitlyn at this point are irrelevant. Because of Isha. Listen folks, If you have watched these characters all the way to this point, and you honestly feel that either of them would intentionally do something that risks the life of a child, I just cannot agree with you. Caitlyn has only shown herself to be a kind and caring person ever since we meet her. These folks wanted to use two factors to show that Vi would not have cared about Isha being hurt to prove that it was all about Jinx.

A- Vi doesn't have a particular adverse reaction to Renni's son dying

B- Vi doesn't seem to care about hitting Isha and doesn't stop when she does

A: Renni's Son-

This is the boy killed who is working in the Shimmer lab that Jayce and Vi attack. Jayce accidentally kills him with a blast from his hammer. So regarding the allegation that Vi doesn't seem to particularly care. Context, as always, is our friend folks. Jayce is backing out because of the death when they were quite literally starting their attack on Siloc's entire operation. So what does Vi actually say-

"You've always been a part of this, you just never had to look it in the eye. One dead kid? There's hundreds more where he came from, thanks to Silco. And thanks yo people like you, who stuck their heads in the dirt. "

Jayce leaves, Vi very clearly stands over the body and sighs, her eyes wet with tears. And yes she gets back to business. Because as she said. This is about so much more than one dead kid.

B: Hitting Isha-

Okay, I love Isha to. But this is not the first time she jumps in the middle of an adult situation and gets hurt. But anyway, the allegation here is that Vi really had no issue hitting her and didn't stop because of it. Isha quite literally bites Vi on her wraps. You know, the part of her that is probably in constant pain from months of pit fighting and no self care. Also, Jinx and Vi literally stop at the same time when they realize what happened.

Also, lets not forget this handy-dandy little moment where Vi quite literally throws herself in front of Isha to save her from Vander:

Additionally, to allege that the reason Caitlyn reacts to such an extreme agree is simply that Vi robbed her of her choice is to deny the absolutely crushing trauma Caitlyn has been/is dealing with. She is literally face to face with the monster of her nightmares, and is being denied her revenge. Every fight-or-flight, primal, lizard brain part of her is screaming that Jinx is the most dangerous thing in the world, and the woman Caitlyn loves is standing in front of her. I go more into the signs of Caitlyn's traumatic episode in another document but to suffice it to say, it doesn't seem like Caitlyn was really aware of exactly what all was going on in that chamber. Vi called her repeatedly and all Caitlyn could say was "move! she's not getting away again!" never responding to anything else Vi was saying. Caitlyn fired her rifle twice striking Vi's gauntlet once even and was not deterred. She is NOT doing okay.

2. "I thought you were different.. but your not. It's her blood in your veins"- whoo boy. Okay, The users are more or less defending Caitlyn's anger and her saying this as her realizing that ultimately Vi's loyalty is with Jinx because they believe Vi stopped her because of Jinx, and by extension someone who has done A-Z of fucked up things to Caitlyn. Again I am just about the furthest thing from a Jinx apologist but I don't have time for the list at the moment.

I will repeat, did Vi stop it because she saw Powder in Jinx's face, and because her sister told her she was glad it was her killing her? Entirely possible. But ultimately what it comes down it Caitlyn is enraged because Jinx got away, and Caitlyn's solution to that was to take the shot with a hex tech rifle that had been glitching, and could have killed a child.

No as to what Caitlyn actually said, because one of their points was about Vi's comeback. A few points:

A- Caitlyn knows all of Vi and Jinx history by now including Vi's crushing guilt over what happened

B- Caitlyn knows Vi carries the guilt for her mother's death because Vi asked Caitlyn not to shoot

C- Caitlyn knows what it meant for Vi to put on the uniform and come here with her, and still doubts her

D- Caitlyn literally alleges that Vi is no different than Jinx, who has caused all of this pain and suffering, because her blood is the same, tainted in the same way

3. "Than why are you the one acting like her?"- Essentially here they are just saying that Vi was looking to wound, looking for the low blow, and that not enough attention was given to how fucked up this was to say, especially because Caitlyn had tried to do all of this the right way.

Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons, and Living by a couple deadly sins Just to make sure I finish what you began And I ain't afraid to lose a life or ten If it means that I get to win in the end (woo) So I'ma do this on my own, step into the danger zone Pull the pin and watch it blow! (Arcane Hellfire)

I am not saying it wasn't a fucked up thing to say. I am saying Yall are missing the point. Vi was afraid of Caitlyn changing because she saw the violence and darkness in her. Because while yes they are doing everything the right way in the lanes technically, for Caitlyn its all for the wrong reasons. She isn't there to help the undercity, she is on a quest for revenge. And as such is surrendering her morals and values alittle at a time.

4. Caitlyn hit Vi impulsively after Vi realized she overstepped/Cait never learned her strength or how to hold back-

As Caitlyn is walking away and Vi says "why are you the one acting like her?!" she grabs Cait's arm firmly at first then relaxes her grip to a more gentle one. Caitlyn sits and breathes for a solid ten seconds before hitting Vi. That's not exactly a reflexive action. Also, Caitlyn has demonstrated a tremendous proficiency with her rifle and with increasing hand-to-hand combat over the course of the show. She knew what she was doing, and she knew where she hit her. Now was Caitlyn also drowning in the middle of a total emotional overload. Yes indeed. But this was not a shock response strike. She chose to.

Now for a few points outside of the breakup that were mentioned:

Vi was wrong to suggest that Caitlyn did not understand during their conversation about Vi putting on the badge-

Well we can do this simply. Lets compare the two.

A- Vi was standing there in sight of her parents bodies as the people responsible were still there stalking around the smoke. The people responsible all dress the same way and their look is a symbol of their institution. Now she is being asked to dress like them.

B- Caitlyn was however far away and only saw the rocket launched and smash into the building. This of course would still be very traumatic. But for better or worse there is only one Jinx and her look is her look. Unless Vi was asking Cait to put on a half-eaten circus tent, I don't think we are in the same area here.

2. Vi has a tendency to dismiss Caitlyn's trauma when something more viscerally related to her own loss is going on-

The example they provided was the conversation I listed above. Vi has literally stayed there to be there and support Caitlyn even after being yelled at by Tobias. She is supportive of catching jinx and wants to help right up until Cait offers the badge. And even after that blow up, in the wake of the memorial attack Vi shelves her own issues and agrees to be an enforcer anyways.

3. Fandom keeps giving Vi a pass like anyone from Piltover can do no wrong-

The idea of this fandom giving Vi a pass is completely and totally laughable. I'm sorry but it is. There is still a whole legion of us who blame a fifteen year old girl kneeling over her father's body, who just saw her brothers die, who just held off a legion of armed Silco goons and barely survived, for ruining Powder during one bad moment and turning her into jinx. Aside from Caitlyn's commander Arc Vi is probably the least understood character in the entire fandom.

PSSSSSST.. If it helps, they don't do redemption arcs for characters who were never in the wrong in the first place. Have a great day!

[pigeon-behavior]

Pigeon Puberty

There’s many challenges surrounding introducing a new pigeon into your life, and one of the most difficult of them is something that simply can’t be avoided.

Puberty.

We’ve all been through it - or, depending on our age, we’re going through it, or are doomed to go through it. And pigeons are much the same.

The famed rebellious attitudes and antisocial tendencies of human puberty are apparently not confined to us. Pigeons in their first year go through this too! And it’s miserable. Don’t want kids? Surprise, you get a taste of being a parent anyway.

It’s very hard to prepare for puberty. Even if you’ve already been through it - even if you’ve been through it multiple times - it’s never easy, and it never feels good. It’s easy to feel like it’s your fault. That you failed.

But you haven’t. I promise.

This guide is about surviving your pigeon’s puberty: what to expect, what to accept, and what you can do about any of it.

Baby Steps: Independence Day

Most of you will never need this section, but just enough of you will that it’s worth including.

A scenario I’ve seen on several occasions now is “This baby pigeon in my life was cuddling with me, and now wants nothing to do with me! What happened!”

This is really normal. Baby pigeons, somewhere around 7-12 weeks (maybe earlier, maybe later), will decide they don’t want to hang out with you. They’ll suddenly be afraid of your hands. They might try to snap or bite or slap you for the first time in their lives.

This is just a phase they go through. Not all of them will, but it’s extremely standard that it’s not at all a mistake to expect it. Don’t take it personally. They’ll come back around.

During this time, limit handling and any forced interaction. You can make them hand-shy by intruding too much on their personal space in this time.

Any interaction they initiate is fine, just allow them to exit if they want to. Instructions down below on the “DON’Ts” of “Hell Period pigeons” will also apply here.

Overall, just be patient and understanding. They’ll come around.

Puberty Part One: The Precursor To Reproduction

Before animals can produce offspring, they have to sexually mature. They might not be totally mature after they are capable of reproducing, but what matters to evolution is passing on your genes. And pigeons can pass on their genes very early.

It’s not at all unusual for pigeons to be entirely capable of having their own babies by the time they’re 6 months old. Or earlier. The earliest I have personally seen a hen reach sexual maturity (laying an egg) is a few days before she turned 4 months old.

That’s not necessarily always the case. Some pigeons won’t sexually mature until they’re a year old. But that gives you an idea of the wide window we’re working with.

Any pigeon who has sexually matured has completed the “Hell Period” of their puberty already. This is the time period you are most likely to notice. So what is the Hell Period?

The Hell Period will contain some or all of these “symptoms” in most pigeons:

-Extreme anti-social behavior

-Endless window-gazing

-Intense, unpredictable moodiness

-Unusual flightiness or being easily scared

-Aggression or biting too much (beyond driving)

-Spending a lot of time on top of cabinets or ceiling fans

-Ignoring any previously taught commands

-Lost interest in receiving treats

-Higher-than-usual stubbornness

-Greater need for personal space

-Hating hands suddenly

-Nervousness displayed to adult birds (even parents) or other young birds they don’t know well

It’s also not unusual for them to begin to molt at some point during this significant chunk of their maturation. Molting already can make them moody, but obviously in this case it’s sort of one more straw on the camel’s back for them.

It’s possible I’ve missed or forgotten an aspect of the Hell Period, but I think you get the gist.

We’ll call the portion of their maturation that contains the Hell Period and leads up to them producing eggs and sperm sexual maturation, just to be clear.

So how long does this sexual maturation process last?

Well, that can be a little difficult to tell. The process begins and ends with an on-and-off ramp (think a parable graph, or a bridge), and that means that it’s difficult to tell when the process is starting, and it’s difficult to tell when it is ending.

Generally, it seems like the Hell Period lasts maybe a month to a month and a half. It’s hard to give a more concrete answer without concrete data. I have to do my best with guessing.

But if I have to estimate, I wouldn’t be surprised if the process as a whole lasted more like 2 and a half months (maybe less, maybe more), and we just can’t accurately see the beginning and end.

So how do you handle it?

It can be very hard to emotionally handle the Hell Period. Everyone finds it difficult. A tiny, tiny number of pigeons have sexual maturations so tame they aren’t even noticed at all, but they aren’t common enough that you can reasonably hope you just happened to get one.

It’s easy to feel rejected, or like you’ve done something wrong. I want to reassure you that you haven’t. It will get better. Your pigeon will come back around. I promise. Someday you will hardly believe they ever were like this.

As for what you can do in the meantime, well, it is pretty simple.

Not much! But that’s okay.

Your best bet with a pigeon going through Hell Period is to simply make yourself available. Don’t force interaction. Don’t push into their space. Just hang out in the same room, and give them the opportunity to come to you.

I know, it’s sounding a lot like human parenting once I put it down on paper. But I promise, it’s your best option. You’ll avoid increasing any reactivity, and create opportunities for positive associations. You’ll also notice better when they’re pulling out of their raging hormones - they’ll come to you more often, and you will see a light out of the darkness.

Here’s a small list of Don'ts for pigeons in their Hell Period, to preserve your bonding progress and their wellbeing down the line. Don't create a hand-shy bird!

DON’T:

-Put pants/flypers/harnesses on a HPP (Hell Period pigeon)

-Overhandle a HPP

-Try to force a HPP to spend time with you

-Try to desensitize a HPP to hands if they’re scared - it can wait

-Force a HPP to take treats from your hands - just put them down where the HPP can get to them comfortably

-Try to continue training with an HPP that previously worked but now doesn’t - just wait, they’ll become reasonable again

-Be impatient

-Take it personally

There’s not a lot you can do except avoid mistakes and preserve your own feelings. And that’s okay. That’s normal.

It’s unfortunate that most people don’t get adequately warned about how hard puberty is before they get a pigeon. They’re fantastic animals, and great pets, but it’s so hard to be prepared for the Hell Period, and it’s even harder if you just don’t know about it.

What are signs the Hell Period is ending?

It’s not very easy to tell the Hell Period is ending. Like I said above, the off ramp is hard for us to see. But I’ll do my best to offer some things you can look for.

Signs:

-HPPs (Hell Period pigeons) tend to molt during this time, and I think they tend to molt closer to the end of the Hell Period than the beginning

-More good days than bad days, however that exhibits

-Less window-gazing

-More interest in social behaviors, whether with you or other pigeons

-A decrease in how easily they are startled

-Spending more time on the floor

-Regaining some food motivation

-Decreased unmanageable aggression

-Increase in courtship behaviors

You may be uncertain whether or not your pigeon is pulling out of the HP for quite some time, and then one day realize that it happened while you weren’t looking. It’s a strange process.

The Hell Period is the hardest part of maturation, but it isn’t the only part.

Puberty Part Two: It’s Not Easy Being Beautiful

When the Hell Period ends, it is at about that time they are sexually mature - they can reproduce, have offspring - way more than you think they should be capable of, in fact.

But they’re not done yet. Which is normal. Many species do not stop “baking” the second we become physically capable of producing offspring - humans are one of them. We continue changing years after we check that capability box. The same for dogs (which can take years to drop their chests) or deer (who don’t reach their physical prime well past being capable).

So what’s going on, then? How does this affect us?

The short of it is this: it’s mostly the boys, as far as I can tell. And it makes them bastards.

What’s their deal?

I don’t know exactly what is happening in there, hormone wise. But males change significantly in their first 2 years - they don’t seem to hit their full size until sometime around then. And that’s a bit conservative. It may be a bit more like 2 and a half to 3.

But at the very least, by 2 years they have enough nailed down that they’re not so much.

A young male is a handful. He needs to be managed. He needs attention at all times, and if he doesn’t get it, he may be unruly. He follows the rules less. He’s generally more aggressive for no reason. He shows off all the time.

This may sound familiar.

But an adult male is more reserved. He spends more time in his nest box with his spouse. He causes less problems in the flock. He is doing the managing. And, at his age, unless he’s tragically outmatched, he has the body mass to back it up.

Because of the size difference a male can experience between the different points of his life, if you are putting a harness, flyper, or pants on him, it's important that the fit be monitored as he grows larger. That, or wait until he reaches full size to get him one.

The body mass difference between a 6 month old, 1 year old, and 2 and a half year old male at different points in his life can be pretty staggering.

So people can wonder: why can’t my boy calm down? How do I make him relax?

When will my boy chill???

The tentative consensus is that it takes at least 2 years for a male pigeon to finish baking, aka, let his hormones settle down. Again, it might be quite a bit more than that.

Theoretically, he should be getting better and calmer that whole time. Maybe he will backslide here and there when his hormones jump.

But in my experience, a 1 year old is more tolerable than a 6 month old, and a 1 and a half year old is more tolerable than a 1 year old, and a 2 year old is more- you get it.

He will calm down. He won’t always be so excitable. I can’t say that I have a lot of advice for you here. But maybe it will help knowing that like any bouncy puppy, he won’t stay that way forever.

Other fun facts:

The temperaments of pigeons are not the only things that change through their physical maturation!

As I mentioned, their body mass/weight increases with age - up to a certain point.

The feather quality of adult birds is also markedly different (and better) than that of juveniles. With an experienced eye you can sometimes guess between under 3 months old, 6 months to a year old, and above a year, by the difference. Adults are much sleeker than babies, who look more “fuzzy.”

Eye pigment brightness apparently reaches peak brightness at about a year old, but you can tell what it is pretty early on. A couple months. Of course, this brightening only occurs in the wild type (orange) eyes and pearl eyes, and not bull eyes.

If you enjoy my posts, please consider tipping me on ko-fi!

[goddess-aelin]

Back To Myself- part 1

Happy Yulemas @sassyhobbits

This was supposed to be a short one shot but I’m already 9k in and it’s not done yet. So here’s part 1 and part 2 will be coming in the next week! Hope you love it! I had another idea initially (think Romeo and Juliet with simmering tension and neck kisses), figured it’d be too long and I wouldn’t have been able to get it out in time. So I restructured it into a hallmark rom com type of fic and then emotions just kept coming out and here we are 9k later 😂

Masterlist

Aelin loved Orynth during the holiday season, she really did. It wasn’t just one thing, it was everything. Even living 10 years in Adarlan couldn’t take the sense of home she felt when she came back to Orynth. She missed the smell of the freshly baked bread above her dad’s office building. She missed ice skating on the ponds along the plains of Theralis and the tree lighting in the town square. Most of all, she missed her cousin.

Aedion was a few years older than her but the two were thick as thieves growing up. After both his mom and her parents passed away suddenly, Aelin had run from everything and everyone, moving to Adarlan to start over. In her hurry to leave, she shut Aedion out. Aelin knew she was entirely at fault but seeing Aedion, who looked so much like herself and, therefore, her mother, was too painful. Freshly 18, Aelin felt like she had no choice but to start over somewhere new, where no one knew her name or history. 

The baggage she carried was heavy. Her time in Adarlan helped to lighten the load but there was always something missing, an Aedion-shaped hole in her heart. So she reached out, hoping that he didn’t hate her as much as she hated herself for leaving him in the dust. It had been rocky at first to say the least. Aedion had every right to be pissed at her and pissed at her he was. Slowly but surely, emailing became texting, became calls on the phone that were short in length, then hours long. She missed her cousin. He really was her only surviving family and 18 year old Aelin didn’t know what she was losing when she ran away. 

Which was how she found herself at 28, standing in Orynth airport, palms sweaty and anxiety creeping up her stomach. This was the first time she would be seeing Aedion in ten years, the first time she’d come back to Orynth. And while that anxiety was heightening, there was also a relief that came with being back. She was sure things had changed but those 10 long years had given her perspective and time to process everything that had happened. 

“Aelin!” 

Her head snapped toward the sound of her name, the voice familiar yet also so different from the last time she heard it. She wasn’t sure whether to smile, laugh, cry, or look sheepish when she spotted Aedion. So instead, she stood frozen, just taking in her almost-twin. He looked similarly to how he did at 20, golden hair and turquoise eyes. But there were smaller notes that weren’t there before: the laugh lines beside his eyes, his jaw that filled out into a man’s face instead of the lanky young-adult he used to be. 

She couldn’t help it then. The tears came freely and it took everything in her to not sob in the middle of Orynth International. 

A pair of strong arms– stronger than they had been 10 years ago– wrapped around her and she buried her face into his familiar warmth. Even the years and miles separating them couldn’t stop her from feeling like this was where she was meant to be, back with her family in the town she grew up in. Adarlan had become a place she lived in over the last few years but it never felt quite the same as Orynth. It never felt like home. She hoped that reconciling with Aedion would be the first step into feeling like herself again. She hoped that he would be able to forgive her.

When she pulled back a while later, she almost broke again at the glistening tears in Aedion’s own eyes. Looking at him then, she knew that everything was going to be okay. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to get back to how they were but that also wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. As long as they could be as close as siblings again, she would be okay. 

“Let’s get you home, yeah?” Aelin could only smile tightly and nod. 

- - - - -

Aedion lived in a quiet suburb of Orynth with his wife, Lysandra, and son, Gavryn. The house was a picturesque townhome, the yulemas decorations sparkling and making it look like something out of the Best Homes of Orynth magazine. Aelin already knew Lysandra, of course. They were classmates a lifetime ago; a time when they didn’t get along. Aedion had explained to her on their many phone calls and facetimes how he and Lysandra got together and Aelin had promised to keep an open mind just for him. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Lysandra, but rather that they were too alike. In high school, both she and Lysandra were competitive, always volleying for the team captain spot in whichever sport they were playing or vying to be the head of a school committee. She had assumed the other woman had calmed down after 10 years of growth but Aelin also secretly hoped that Lysandra hadn’t lost her spark. Despite being rivals in a sense, she always quietly admired the brunette beauty for her drive and tenacity. 

Aelin herself had changed in ways she couldn’t even begin to describe. Of course, she calmed down, saw her therapist once a week, and pretended to be an adult as best she could. But she was loath to admit that there was also a part of her that felt flattened by the last decade. She didn’t feel the same drive or competition, didn’t want to be in charge while also not wanting to relinquish control. In summary, she felt…unsettled, agitated. Adarlan was great for all its beauty and life, but she was antsy and needed a change.

She hadn’t told Aedion yet but if all went well during the week she was here, Aelin would be looking for apartments in Orynth. She hoped that being back in her old stomping grounds would give her a sense of her old self, one she quickly found herself missing since being back there. 

“Annnddd here we are!” Aedion opened their bright yellow front door with a flourish. “Home sweet home.”

Aelin sheepishly smiled, still feeling like she had to walk on eggshells around him. 

“Thanks, Aedion. It’s beautiful, truly.” She only got to take in the small foyer before a pitter patter of small feet made their way through the house. 

“Daddy!” A streak of blonde darted past Aelin, right into Aedion’s waiting arms. 

“Hey, little dude. Where are your pants?” Aedion poked the 3 year old’s belly and a plethora of giggles erupted from the small boy, clad in only a firetruck-printed pull-up.

“Mommy said I could take them off. I was goin’ on the potty!” 

“No way!” Aedion spun Gavryn around and another gaggle of laughs burst forth. It warmed Aelin’s heart to see him this way, both of them. Gavryn was adorable and looked so much like her cousin did when they were children that it hurt. And Aedion…well, he deserved all the happiness in the world. 

“Gav, this is Auntie Aelin. She’s going to be staying with us for the holidays.”

The boy slightly hid his face in his father’s shoulder, mumbling something so low that Aelin couldn’t hear. She slowly reached out to tickle his belly, not wanting to scare him off but also wanting to show that she was no threat to him. She could be a cool auntie. Even if she had no idea how to be an aunt at all. 

“Hey Gavryn. What did you say, Buddy?”

Gavryn picked his head up slightly, “I said, you’re Auntie Aelin from the pictures.” 

Aelin was dumbstruck at that. “From the…pictures?”

Gavryn wiggled his way free of his father’s arms, running toward the adjoining room and pointing. “Here! That’s Auntie Aelin!”

Aelin slowly made her way into what turned out to be a cozy-furnished living room and looked toward where the young boy was pointing. And sure enough, there was a picture on the wall of her and Aedion from when they were just little kids. But Aelin’s eyes drifted to the other pictures next to it. She was wrong at first. No, there wasn’t only one picture of “Auntie Aelin.” Instead, scattered throughout the more recent memories, there were many pictures of her and Aedion as kids, as teens, as almost-young adults. Rhoe and Evalin were in a few, standing with Aedion’s mom, Ella. It almost hurt to look at the photos, the slightly washed-out colors bringing her back to a time where she didn’t feel so lost. 

She jumped when Aedion’s voice spoke quietly next to her, lost in her daze. “I never forgot, you know.” Aelin turned her head toward him, questions in her eyes. “I never forgot you. I knew you’d be back one day. That you’d come back home.” 

Aelin’s eyes were burning with unshed tears. She hated how her voice cracked when she tried to speak. “I never forgot either. I’m…I’m so so–”

“Don’t. Don’t apologize. Please. You did what you had to do. There’s nothing to forgive, okay? It wasn’t easy but I knew you’d be back one day. And I’m glad you’re here while Gavryn is still young, that he can know what an amazing person his Auntie Ae is.” 

“I haven’t seen you in ten years, how do you even know that I’m amazing anymore?”

“One, don’t get modest on me now, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius.” He smirked at the use of her full name. The smirk quickly gentled as his voice softened, “And two, I saw that look in your eye when you were looking at these pictures. Maybe you don’t feel it right now but you’re still you, Aelin. You still belong here. And you’ll always have a place with me, even if you don’t want it.” 

A single tear escaped her eyes but before she could respond, a strong, female voice called from the opposite end of the room. “Well, well, well. Do my eyes deceive me or is that Aelin Galathynius in the flesh?”

- - - - -

Dinner was a slightly awkward affair at first. Lysandra was perfectly cordial and Aelin was shocked to find that she actually liked the woman. While there were lulls in conversation, there also was certainly no silence at the table. Gavryn apparently decided he was her new best friend, talking her ear off about anything and everything. 

“Auntie Ae, did you know that Mommy’s a shape-shitter?”

“A…what?” Aelin couldn’t help the smile that overtook her face as she met Lysandra’s gaze.

“A shape-shitter. She can be a cat or puppy dog or even a lion!” 

Aelin snorted. “Ohhh, a shape-shifter.”

“Uh huh. And so can I! Watch!

Aelin knew the kid was dramatic but the growl that came out of him was slightly inhuman. Gavryn looked so proud of himself.

“Wow! You’re very talented, indeed. You sounded exactly like a lion!”

“No, Auntie Ae. I am a lion. I shape-shitted into one. And that was a tiger sound.” 

“Oh, my apologies,” she said through hidden laughter. Aelin couldn’t remember her heart feeling so full in a very, very long time. 

“Auntie Ae, do you want to go to the Yue-mas tree lights tonight?”

Aelin looked to Aedion for confirmation. At his nod, she nodded. “I really do. Can you show me around, Gav?”

“Uh huh! I know where to go for the most fun stuff.” 

- - - - -

“The most fun stuff” according to Gavryn turned out to be playing the carnival games that were lined up in the town square. They played the ring toss over and over and over again until Gavryn won the big, pink teddy bear he wanted. “You know that you could’ve just bought him that for like $10 at the department store down the road, right?”

Aedion rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “It’s about the memories, Aelin.” She snorted in response. 

Hugging his big teddy bear, Gavryn let out a big, squeaky gasp and took off running. “Wowan!!” Aelin turned in time to see the most ruggedly handsome man snatch Gavryn up effortlessly from where he stood by the Yulemas tree. The man’s smile was breathtaking, if she was putting it lightly. She could tell he was the broody type based on his frown lines but the slight indents of dimples made their way to his face and he was a changed man. 

She only realized she was staring when Lysandra sidled up to her and cleared her throat. “Maybe you should take a picture, Aelin.” Aelin could only blink and look back at her new-almost-friend. 

She leaned in more closely and whispered, “Who’s the hot Jack Frost?”

At the nickname, Lysandra snickered. But before she could answer, Gavryn was already running back over to her and pulling her by the hand over to the Jack Frost look-alike.

“Wowan!! This is my Auntie Ae!!”

Trying not to be too completely dumbstruck by the man before her, Aelin offered her hand for a shake. The rough pads of his hands sent a thrill up her spine. Not the time, Aelin. You’re here for family fun only.

“Nice to meet you, Auntie Ae.” His damn smirk. It’d be the death of her.

“Nice to meet you…Jack, I presume?” She tried to play it off with humor but instead, her delivery fell flat. Damn nerves. The man’s face became bewildered but he said nothing. “Because…because you look like Jack Frost? Ya know, because of your hair.” She reached out and ruffled the front of his hair. Ruffled. His. Hair. Like he was some dog. Gods, she was so stupid, stupid, stupid. 

The man pursed his lips. “Right. Well I have to be going,” he said, backing away. “Duty calls.” 

Aelin never had a man run from her quite as quickly as the mystery man did. And she  had never been as mortified as she was in that moment. She couldn’t help herself from actually hanging her head in her hands like they did in movies. 

“Cheer up, buttercup. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you think it was.” Lysandra’s voice was teasing but not unkind. 

“That man just ran from me as fast as humanly possible. Maybe even with the speed of a fae.”

At that, Lysandra actually burst out laughing. “Okay, I’m not going to lie, it was pretty bad. But Rowan’s chill. He’ll come around and forgive you.” Lysandra paused. “Especially for the whole petting his head part. Maybe he’ll even want you to do it again.”  Aelin didn’t even need to look to know that her friend was wagging her eyebrows.

Aelin slapped the woman on the arm lightly. “You know damn well that I just scared that man off for good.”

Lysandra gave her a knowing smile. “I wouldn’t be so sure. Rowan doesn’t look at many people like he looked at you.”

“What? Like I hung the moon? How cliche, Lys.”

“No, like you put the fear of the gods into him. But also with a sprinkle of intrigue. Do you know how much it takes to intrigue Rowan Whitethorn?” By the look on Lysandra’s face, she assumed it was a lot. 

“Rowan Whitethorn, huh?” Aelin swore to herself that she was totally not going to look him up on social media later.

- - - -

Aelin totally looked up Rowan Whitethorn on social media as soon as she was alone and cozy in her room at Aedion’s house. The man, however, was completely undetectable online. She found one profile that could have been him but was completely private and another 20 for “Rowan White.” It seemed Rowan Whitethorn was not a very common name. Aelin brushed it off, assuring herself that Orynth was a big town and she would never see him again. 

Still, at breakfast the next morning, she couldn’t help but ask Aedion about him. Lysandra had already taken Gavryn to daycare for the day, claiming she and Aelin were having a “girls only” day, whatever that entailed.

“So what’s up with this Rowan Whitethorn?”

Aedion chuckled. “Ah, yes. Lysandra told me you had quite a…run in…with him.” 

Aelin rolled her eyes. “Ugh yes, yes. Let’s all make fun of Aelin. But seriously, what’s his deal?”

“Self deprecation doesn’t suit you, Ae. And Rowan’s a good friend.” Aedion shrugged. “He’s honestly a great guy and he mostly keeps to himself. Loves Gavryn, though. And Gavryn loves him and genuinely thinks he’s the greatest thing since Bluey. He’s pretty private so anything else, well, you’ll just have to ask him.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“And why not?”

“Because the man literally ran away from me after I fucking petted his hair!”

Aedion burst out in laughter. “Gods, it’s even better when you tell it.” Aelin crossed her arms and pouted. Just then, Lysandra walked in, taking in the scene with a raised brow.

“Do I even want to know?”

“Aelin was just regaling me with the tale of her encounter with Rowan.” Lysandra joined in on the laughter. And even though she was the butt of the joke, Aelin felt lighter for the first time in a long time. 

- - - - -

Walking around the shops of Orynth with Lysandra felt like a dream. Everything felt so similar to her childhood, yet also completely different. The shops she knew and loved were still there, but remodeled and updated from their previous design. And their owners were the same but now had streaks of grey and white in their hair, showing just how much time had passed. 

But as they were meandering through bookstores and cafes and the one, lone department store, Aelin couldn’t help but feel a spark of something. Something that had been there many years ago but hadn’t reared its head in over a decade. 

“What else is on the agenda today, Shape-shitter?”

Lysandra cackled at the nickname. “Well, I thought we could go into a few more shops so that I can finish up the Yulemas shopping for Gav and Aedion and then maybe we can get dinner? Just you and I?”

Aelin smiled at her. “I’d like that.” Despite their rocky beginning, Aelin was really starting to like Lysandra and would even consider her a friend. 

Aelin stopped suddenly, a muted golden storefront catching her eye. “What’s this? I don’t remember this from when I was little.”

“Oh! That’s Pine and Snow. It has a little bit of everything but it’s mostly hand-drawn art and trinkets. You can also usually find some cute rebound books in there.”

“Mind if I go in?”

“Of course. While you go in there, I’m just going to stop next door quickly for one of Aedion’s gifts.” Aelin nodded and pushed her way inside, the green door jingling as she opened it.

The smell of craft stores was unmatched but this one in particular was really living up to its name. The owner must have had candles or air fresheners set up to make it actually smell like pine and snow. Aelin closed her eyes, breathing in the scent and allowing it to take her back to snowy days sledding with her dad and Aedion. The scent was so vivid that she decided she needed to find the candle and hoped that they sold it in-store. 

Aelin was just about to give up when she spotted a candle stand in the corner of the shop, the canisters very rustic looking in glass jars with wooden tops. While each was labeled, it was all things like “birch and evergreen” and “redwood and aspen.” Any of these, in theory, could smell like the pine and snow of the shop and so, naturally, she decided to open each one. 

“Do you need any help over here?”

Aelin was startled out of her mission by a familiar, slightly accented voice. Oh fuck.

She turned and saw the spark of recognition enter Rowan’s eyes. Thankfully, this time he didn’t make a run for it. Yet, her traitorous mind thought. 

“I–ah, no! I’m just testing the candles. It smells really good in here and I just figured I’d see if you had the scent.”

“Ah, I see. You’re probably smelling a mix of scents so I’m not sure which one you were looking for.”

“The one that smells like…pine and snow?”

Rowan raised an amused brow. “My shop is called Pine and Snow but unfortunately, I don’t have any that specifically smell like that.” HIs voice was deadpan and while his face held some amusement, she couldn’t read his tone. 

“You own the shop?” Rowan nodded. “And you make everything here?”

“Aye, there’s some products I buy from local vendors but yes, everything else is made by me.” 

“Wow. Thats…incredible.” Smooth, Aelin. 

A stilted silence overtook the space between them until they both tried to speak at the same time. 

“I should ap–”

“I think you’re–”

 Aelin let out a huff of laughter. “You first.”

Rowan reached past her, picking up a green candle. “I was just going to say that I think you’re probably going to like this one best if you want it close to pine and snow.”

He handed her the green jar and she noted that it was the “birch and evergreen” scent. “Thanks.”

“Sorry, though. Touching my hair doesn’t come free with this scent, unfortunately.” His cocksure smile did things to her heart right before his gruff tone grated her nerves.

Aelin’s cheeks flamed red and she was sure that Rowan could probably see the embarrassment on her face, quickly replaced by irritation. It was one thing to make the social faux-pa she had but another to be taunted for it. 

So naturally, she did what she had done best for the last 10 years: she avoided. “You know what, I think I’m going to just go. Thanks for the info, Jack.”

Rowan’s face dropped and a look of annoyance crossed his face at the nickname. Was there also underlying confusion she detected in his gaze? No matter, if he was willing to tease her, she could dish it right back to him. Two could play at this game, she thought.

Stepping outside, she found Lysandra exiting the shop next door.

“You traitorous bitch!” Her words may have been harsh but they held no heat. 

Lysandra didn’t even try to hide her smirk. “Who, me?”

“You knew that Rowan Whitethorn owned that shop and just decided not to tell me?”

Lysandra shrugged. 

“The same Rowan Whitethorn that just told me that hair touching didn’t come for free with a candle I was going to buy?” 

If it were possible for someone to actually howl like a wolf, Lysandra took the cake. “You…oh god…he what?!” While this was a very, very serious situation, Aelin couldn’t help the slight uptick of her lips at her friend’s laughter. 

“Yup. You heard me correctly.”

“Aelin, you seriously have the worst game, I swear.” 

“It’s not my flirting skills that are lacking. I’m perfectly capable of that. But it’s just something about him that makes me completely and utterly…”

“Stupid?”

“Yeah.” Aelin sighed. 

“Cmon,” Lysandra said, pulling her arm toward the bar across the street. “I’ll buy you dinner and a drink. Or maybe two.” 

- - - - -

“Auntie Ae!”

If it were possible for a three year old to stand still, Aelin knew that sure as hell wasn’t the case with Gavryn. The boy was jumping up and down in his place in line to see Santa during their second outing to the town square.

“I’m gonna ask for a BIG monster truck and a puppy!” 

“Oh yeah, buddy? That sounds so fun!” A quick look to Lysandra confirmed that, no, Gavryn would not be getting a puppy for Yulemas.

Aelin was surprised that Gavryn sat long enough to whisper in Santa’s ear, wiggling around to no end. But at the end, his little face turned its attention toward her, sliding smoothly from Santa’s lap and making a beeline to where she was standing off to the side. 

“Auntie Ae, come! You have to meet Santa, too!”

“Wha—” The three year old was a lot stronger than he looked and when he took her hand and pulled her to Santa, she couldn’t stand her ground. 

“Gavryn, I don’t think–”

“Shh, Auntie Ae, you have to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him your secrets.”

She muttered a quick I don’t think that’s how this works under her breath before looking toward Santa for a reprieve. But when she glanced at Santa, his green eyes were all too familiar-looking. Aelin figured she probably looked like a deer in headlights but to be fair, so did “Santa.”

“Gavryn, I don’t think Santa wants me to sit on his lap. I’m...I’m...too old! Uh huh!”

“Nonshence, Auntie Ae. Daddy says you’re never too old for Santa!”

Aelin closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see the spectacle she was surely making in the town square. If she focused slightly, she was sure she would hear Lysandra and Aedion snickering. She gave herself until the count of three and opened her eyes back up, looking at Gavryn. His pleading Ashryver eyes held so much sway over her that she had to laugh. 

Plucking up her courage, Aelin stepped onto the platform where Rowan-Santa was sitting. She gave him a tight smile before unceremoniously plopping into his lap. A small “oof” left his mouth, as if she had caught him off guard. She felt his gloved hand slowly come up to her middle back. She was almost startled when he let out a booming “Ho! Ho! Ho!” for the benefit of the crowd and Gavryn.

“And what can I get you for Yulemas, Auntie Ae?” She narrowed her eyes at the use of Gavryn’s nickname for her. He leaned closer to her ear, lowering his voice so that Gavryn wouldn’t be able to hear. “Or are you going to tell me a secret like your nephew wants, instead?”

Aelin put on her sweetest smile. She knew exactly what she was going to ask Santa for.

- - - - -

“What the hell did you say to Santa, Aelin?”

She tried not to let the corners of her mouth twitch upwards in a smirk, she really did. But in the end, she couldn’t help it. “Nothing of importance.” 

Lysandra looked entirely skeptical. “Mmhm. Right. And that’s why Santa’s face got redder than the town’s fire truck?”

“How would I know? Maybe he was just so overwhelmed by my stunning beauty and didn’t expect to have such a beautiful woman sitting on his lap.”

“Ah, there’s the Aelin I know. But seriously, what did you say to him? Everyone knows that it’s Rowan up there. Except the kids, obviously.”

“I just asked for something to ease frustration, that’s all.”

“And that means…?”

“I told Santa that I wanted a dildo.” Aelin did her best to act nonchalant when in reality, she felt anything but. Whispering that in Rowan’s ear was a spur of the moment decision, but in that moment she wanted to do anything to wipe the cocky smirk off his face. 

Lysandra apparently thought it was the funniest thing and sent the coffee she was sipping flying everywhere. Instead of cleaning herself up right away once her laughter died down, the brunette just stared at her, mouth gaping. “You do realize that the get-together you’re going to with Aedion and Gav tonight is at Rowan’s shop, right? Hosted by the man himself?” Aelin froze.

“What?”

“Yeah, he always has a little shop decorating, open house thing the week before Yulemas.”

“So….”

“You’ll have to see him again tonight? Yeah. Yeah you will.” Lysandra hid her smirk behind her coffee as she took another sip.

“Fuck me.”

“Not me, honey. But maybe if you’re lucky, someone else will,” her friend teased with a wink.

- - - - -

She wasn’t desperate, really. She didn’t want to give the wrong impression and show up at this gathering too glitzy. It was, however, a holiday party and she wanted to look nice. Just because of the town, of course, not because of anyone in particular. She was wearing her nicest pair of jeans (that made her butt look fabulous, if she was being truthful) and a chunky sweater, rounded out by some gold accent jewelry and combat boots. Casual. Composed. Cool.

A knock on her bedroom door had her turning to her cousin, who looked…not put together. He gave her a sheepish smile as he entered the room. 

“Hey, best cousin!” Aelin didn’t like how this conversation was starting, not at all. “So, I know you and I were supposed to take Gav down to Rowan’s for his open house thing and I know that I always help out there but I’m feeling a little under the weather. I was hoping that the burning in my throat would go away but it’s still here and I’m pretty sure I’m running a low fever.” 

Aelin had to admit that her cousin was not looking his best. He had a flush on his cheeks and she could hear that his voice was a little hoarse.

“Ok, well why don’t you just go lay down and I can run and get some medicine or food or something for you? We don’t have to go tonight.” While a part of her was relieved, she also detected some disappointment running through her. 

“The problem is that I typically help Rowan with some of the food stuff, which is why we were going a little early. I know he wouldn’t mind and would tell me to stay home but I just feel bad, ya know?”

“O–kay? What do you want me to do about that?” Aelin already had a sneaking suspicion she knew what Aedion was going to ask. 

“Can you go over and help him out? Even if it’s only for a bit to get him started and then I promise you can come right back?”

Aelin sighed. It was bad enough that she embarrassed herself more times than she was willing to admit at this point but now she had to pretend that everything wasn’t weird from her little request to Santa, too and help him with his shop. Cool. No problem. 

Resigned to her fate, she muttered, “Ok, fine. I’ll take Gav too so you can rest.” Aelin pointed at her cousin. “But don’t say I’ve never done anything for you.”

Aedion put his hands up in surrender. “I’d never dream of it. Lysandra should be done with her work party at 6:30 and she’ll stop by to check in and pick up Gavryn. And also, ya know, to give you an out if you need it.”

Aelin sighed, knowing that while this situation wasn’t ideal, it also wasn’t the worst and it was the least she could do to repay Aedion for letting her stay with him.

“It’s all good, seriously. I’ll do it and we’ll have a great time!”

Aedion chuckled. “I almost believed you that time.”

- - - - -

The ringing of the bell above the door clanged louder than anything she had ever heard in her life. Or maybe she was just being paranoid, she wasn’t sure. She knew two things for certain, however. One, Gavryn hadn’t stopped bouncing and talking about “Wowan” the entire walk over to Pine and Snow. And two, the silvery-haired man who owned the shop was also currently the only other person present when they walked inside. 

“Wowan!!” Gavryn dropped her hand as quickly as he was physically able and ran over to Rowan, who, to her chagrin, was looking quite adorable in a Yulemas-printed apron over his grey slacks and green sweater. 

The man’s face lit up at the sight of Gavryn running toward him. “Hey buddy! I’m so glad you’re here. I have lots of fun stuff for you to do tonight with the other kids.” 

Aelin made her way inside the shop, taking in the glittering decorations and small tables set up with various goods. In one corner, there was a craft station outfitted with watercolor paints and tiny aprons for the kids to wear. In another, a hot chocolate machine whirred enticingly. 

“Well if it isn’t Auntie Ae.” Rowan sidled up to her, still holding Gavryn, who was reaching for a paper snowflake. 

“Just Aelin, actually.” Rowan pursed his lips as if trying to hold words in.

“No Aedion tonight?”

“He’s sick, unfortunately. He sends his apologies but he sent me in his stead to help out. So just…you know, let me know what I can do.” She was fully aware that she was allowing her eyes to purposefully wander, not meeting his gaze. 

Rowan fidgeted and actually looked a bit…nervous? She must have been seeing things because there was no way this Adonis of a man was anything but confident around her after all of her fuck ups in the past few days.  

With a surprising gentleness of someone of his size, Rowan put Gavryn down. “Hey buddy, how about you get the watercolor project started so that we can show everyone an example?” Gavryn looked so giddy to not only be helping Rowan out but also to have his art on display. With a practiced ease, Gavryn slipped into one of the seats at the craft table and began painting. 

Once he was settled, Rowan turned to her and stuck his hand out. “I think maybe we got off to the wrong start. I’m Rowan.”

Aelin took his hand and tried to give a small smile. “I know. I’m Aelin.” She needed to stop looking into his eyes or else she might just stay there for an eternity.

“Well Aelin, welcome to Orynth.”

She snorted lightly. “I’ve been here before, you know.”

“Oh?” His smile was going to be the death of her, she knew it already.

She shrugged. “I grew up here.” Now was really the time when she should’ve dropped his hand. But her smaller hand stayed nestled in his larger one and to be quite honest, she was hesitant to let go. 

“Well, I guess I should say welcome back, then.” 

Aelin huffed. “Thanks. It’s–it’s good to be back, actually.” Rowan gave her a smile that told her he knew more than he was letting on. She wasn’t actually sure how close he and Aedion were but she was beginning to think that maybe Rowan filled a hole in her cousin’s life that she made when she left. 

Finally. Finally, Rowan dropped her hand. If he held it any longer while also holding her gaze, she was sure that her palms were going to start getting clammy. Just another embarrassment to add to her list. 

“So–the Santa thing, huh?” She tried to keep her voice down, careful of Gavryn’s listening ears. Rowan chuckled and nodded his head toward the back room, where stacks of boxes awaited them. Rowan held a few out to her and she took them, waiting for him to pick up his own boxes and then following him to the display of food that was half-complete. 

Setting the boxes down, he heaved a sigh. “Yeah. The Santa thing.” He chuckled. “I don’t even know how it started, since I know you’re going to ask that. But I’ve been doing it every year for the last five years. The kids never seem to know it’s me so I’ll keep doing it until they figure it out.”

“It’s sweet that you do that.” He gave her a skeptical look. “No, seriously! It’s very sweet.”

“No comment on the color of my hair being just the right shade of silver for Santa?”

Aelin slapped her hands over her eyes. “Oh my gods. I’m never going to live that down.”

His chuckle sent shivers through her. “Nope,” Rowan said as he leaned a little closer, “never.”

She groaned. “What can I do to make you forget it?”

Rowan paused and thought about it. “Apart from hitting me over the head with a bat, I’m not sure anything could ever make me forget you petting my hair.”

“Noted.” She gave him a sly grin to show that she was talking about the bat comment. 

Rowan chuckled at her joke but then a devious smile crossed his face. “Or…you could tell me that secret from the other night?”

“I don’t have a secret.”

“No? Is that why your face got so red when Gavryn asked you to sit on Santa’s lap?”

“My face does not get red.” Rowan raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“It’s red right now.”

Aelin let out a noise of frustration. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“That.”

It was humor she detected in Rowan’s voice. “Considering I don’t know what ‘that’ is, how can I stop doing it?”

“Urgh. Let’s just get these unpacked, okay? Then I’ll be out of your hair.”

She could tell Rowan was holding back a laugh. “You got it, your Majesty.”

She gave him a look of annoyance but said nothing more, the two of them working in silence to get the shop ready for visitors. That’s how they remained for the next 20 minutes, quietly working like a well-oiled machine despite not knowing anything about one another. Every so often, they’d check in on Gavryn, who was making his masterpiece in the corner of the shop or begging for a cup of hot cocoa, which Aelin very willingly handed over as penance for Aedion leaving her with this frustrating and yet very sexy man. 

It surprised her, the ease she felt around the stoic Rowan. While they didn’t hold a full conversation since she entered the shop, it also wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, either. She could tell that his words earlier were teasing and light. She just was a little taken aback at the fact that he could get under her skin so easily, something that no one had been able to do in quite some time. 

“Aelin, I don’t think I said this yet but thanks.” He gestured to the shop. “For helping out with this. I know you don’t even know me and we got off to a bit of a rocky start but it means a lot.”

Aelin’s insides melted a little. “Seriously, it’s no problem at all. I owed a favor to Aedion anyway for letting me stay with him for the week.”

“Still, I feel like I’m in your debt. Maybe I can–”

The bell jingled above the shop, breaking them out of their reverie. She didn’t realize how close they had been standing until she broke away toward the sound. 

“Rowan, my man!”

A blonde haired guy who honestly looked like he should’ve been on the cover of a magazine breezed into the shop, along with a short, dark-haired woman and a man with a scowl that seemed permanently etched on his face.

Rowan sighed. “Hey, Fen.”

This Fen whistled at the decorations, taking it all in and then turning toward the back where Rowan and Aelin were standing. 

“It looks great in here. You did this all by yourself?”

Rowan looked sheepishly to Aelin, rubbing the back of his neck. “I had some help.”

She could tell the moment that Fen’s eyes honed in on her. Normally, that kind of hungry look would be enough for her to turn on the charm but surprisingly, she didn’t feel like it tonight. It certainly didn’t have anything to do with the silver-haired man standing right next to her. Gods, what had they put into the water in this town since she’d been gone?

“And who do we have here?” Fen’s eyes roved over her from head to toe, not disrespectfully. 

“Cut it out, Fen. This is Aelin, Aedion’s cousin. Aelin, meet Fenrys. And that’s Elide and Lorcan.” Aelin gave a small wave.

“Wait, Aelin Galathynius?” The dark haired woman piped up, causing Aelin’s eyes to shoot toward her.

“Yes?”

“You were a grade above me in high school.”

Recognition crashed into Aelin. “Oh my gods! Elide Lochan, right?”

“That’s me! It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you around here.”

“Yeah. It’s been a while.” Aelin didn’t know what else to say, the shame of running 10 long years ago and the fear that Elide would bring up her parents hitting her like a brick.

“Well, hopefully we can hang out sometime soon? Lorcan and I can’t stay long tonight but would you maybe want to get lunch tomorrow?” Before Aelin could even answer, Elide gasped. “Or! There’s actually this ice skating party dance thing on Friday in the town rink. Basically the whole town comes out and has a good time. We can totally all meet up there.” 

Aelin did remember her cousin mentioning something about it but didn’t remember any details. “Sure, that sounds great!”

“Perfect.” Elide looked to Lorcan, whose gaze softened at the tiny woman. “We’ll let you get back to,” Elide gestured to her and Rowan, “whatever you were doing.” And with that, the couple walked away, milling around with the other guests that had started to arrive.

Fenrys, on the other hand, lingered, looking very confused. 

“Ro, do you need me to do anything?”

Rowan snapped his gaze to the man, his eyes shooting from where they had been resting on her just a moment ago. “Nah, I think I’ve got it handled. Aelin here has been a huge help.” He gave her a soft smile. 

Fenrys smirked. “Well, Aelin. If you get tired of this old buzzard, come see me. I’ll be around.” Fenrys walked–no, swaggered–away. 

“Is he always like that?”

“Uh huh.”

Aelin chuckled at Rowan’s obvious discomfort. “Old Buzzard. I’ll have to save that one for later.”

Rowan groaned and ran his hand over his face. “Please don’t. Fenrys is just someone that needs constant entertainment or else he gets bored. His life apparently doesn’t have enough drama.”

“Sounds like my kind of person,” Aelin laughed. 

Rowan let out a laugh devoid of mirth. “Well, no one’s stopping you from going after him. In fact, he’s single. Go for it.” For some reason, Rowan’s words left a sour feeling in her stomach. “I’m gonna go check up on the kids table. Do you mind just keeping an ear out if anyone needs help?”

Aelin nodded and was about to respond but Rowan high-tailed it away from her before she was able to do so. 

It was about an hour later that Lysandra finally showed up, apologizing for her late arrival. She picked up Gavryn who was starting to lag from the excitement of the festivities. 

“Aedion texted me and told me you might need some saving.” Lysandra looked at her while raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m good, seriously. It was the least I could do for Aedion.”

“Well, you’re off the hook if you want to get out of here. I’m sure Rowan can clean up himself.” Aelin looked over to where Rowan was talking to one of his customers, a small smile playing on his lips. Tonight had been such a great night, truly. It was nice to see a whole community coming together to support a small business and for that business to give back in its own way. She had a warmth in her heart that she just hadn’t been able to find in Adarlan. And while most of that was from the community that she had felt a part of tonight, another small portion was because of the silver-haired enigma standing 10 feet away. 

“Aelin?”

Aelin was snapped back to reality by her friend. “Sorry. I’ll stay for a bit, I think.” Truthfully, she was having a good time but she also didn’t love how she left things with Rowan. She owed him nothing and he owed her nothing and if she was being honest, she didn’t even know what she felt, but his annoyance didn’t sit lightly with her and she wanted to clear the air. Or at the very least, help him with cleaning up. 

She gave a wave to Lysandra and placed a gentle kiss on a dozing Gavryn’s forehead. 

Lysandra smiled at her. “Text me when you leave, okay? You know where the key is.”

Aelin nodded at her friend.

The shop had emptied out and there were only a few stragglers left looking at some of the pieces Rowan had on display. Aelin figured it was safe to start cleaning up the disposable cups and plates that were setting around. 

It was only a little while later that she felt more than heard Rowan come up behind her. 

“You don’t have to do that, Aelin.” She turned toward him, his ruffled hair indicating that he had been running his hands through it. She felt a pang of jealousy. She wanted to do that.

She shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I can just help you clean up and then hopefully we both can get home faster.” She turned back to the small pile of trash she amassed as she cleaned Rowan’s shop. What she didn’t see was the chair that was settled to her left, catching on her foot and making her trip backwards. Aelin braced for the feel of the hard ground but it never came. Instead, strong arms held her with care and left her completely breathless.

Rowan’s voice was a whisper when he spoke. “Careful, there.”

Aelin said nothing in return, only allowed her gaze to fixate on him. His ruffled hair, his strong jaw, and finally, his piercing green eyes. 

Her voice was raspier and more breathless than she expected. “Thanks.” Rowan nodded and helped her to stand up.

Once she was free, she ran her hands over her jeans, straightening out wrinkles that weren’t there. Clearing her throat, she tried to make light of the tension that now lay like a blanket over the room. “Anyway…” She let out a forced laugh.

“Seriously, Aelin. You don’t have to help me clean up. Go home and rest. Go spend time with your cousin.”

“It’s fine. I want to help clean up.”

Rowan let out a noncommittal sound. “Why?”

Aelin scoffed. “What do you mean ‘why?’” 

“I mean, ‘why?’ Why do you feel like you need to help me? I’m perfectly capable of doing this on my own.”

“Because Aedion asked me to help?  Because you’re his friend? Because I owe him?”

“Did he say that?” Rowan’s face was dead serious. “Did he say that you owe him?”

“No, but I do.” This conversation was quickly veering into dangerous–and too serious–territory. 

“I don’t think that’s true. You said that earlier, too. That you ‘owed’ him. And if I thought that you were talking about him having you stay with him for this week, then I’d let it slide. But I don’t think that’s what you mean, is it?”

Damn this man. How could he know nothing about her yet be able to read her like a book?

“You don’t know me.”

“You’re right. And I’m sorry if I overstepped. But even if I don’t know you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t recognize the guilt that you hold.”

“Why? Because you have the same guilt?” Aelin knew that was a nasty comment, a ridiculous thing to ask. 

“Yes,” he answered simply. “I do. I know exactly what it feels like to come back to a place that was your home and not feel like you belong there anymore. Or to feel like you should never have left. But in the end, it’s part of who we are. And we can only move forward from it.”

A lone tear somehow worked its way down Aelin’s face. She felt hopeful when she came back to Orynth. She wanted to put the past behind her, start anew, but also pick back up where she’d left off when she’d left Orynth. But she’d also been holding so much guilt over leaving Aedion, over missing so many parts of his life–the only family she had left. She kept telling herself she was fine; that since Aedion forgave her, all was healed. But the truth was that she wasn’t healed. She wasn’t sure if she ever would be. Being back in Orynth felt right but it didn’t come without its hardships, either. 

She sniffled just as Rowan’s thumb met her cheek, catching her tear before it dripped down her chin. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry.” Rowan’s voice was soft, genuine.

Aelin looked up at him, whose eyes held their own mist. The same eyes that held a pain she didn’t see before. She gently laid her hand over Rowan’s that was resting on her cheek. 

“No. Don’t be sorry. I think…I think I needed to hear that, actually.” She let out a hoarse laugh. “You’re right that I’ve felt so guilty. And I don’t honestly know if there will ever be a time that I won’t. But maybe I should try.”

“I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to.” Rowan’s thumb gently traced a path from the apple of her cheek down to her chin. “I know we don’t know each other well but I’m here.”

Aelin looked at him genuinely, “Thank you. And same to you. I think there might be more to you than just Santa and Buzzards, Rowan Whitethorn.”

His laughter was music to her ears. 

“Cmon,” his hand glided down to catch her own. “Let’s clean up and then I’ll walk you home, yeah?” 

Aelin nodded. “Yeah.”

- - - - -

“So let me get this straight. You had a heart to heart. He walked you home right to the damn doorstep. And then NO KISS?!” 

Aelin rolled her eyes at Lysandra’s theatrics. “Yes, Lys. It’s not like that.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not! We just talked and he said that if I ever needed someone to talk to, that he could be that person. And then we just…talked more. I don’t know.”

“Aelin, let me ask you this. How many men do you know that have offered to just listen to you vent about your life?”

Aelin thought about it, knowing exactly what her friend was getting at. “I don’t know.”

“You do. Answer the question.” Oh, her friend was in a mood.

She sighed. “Just Rowan, I guess.”

“Great. And how many men do you know that are responsible, respectable, business owners?”

“At least five, actually.”

“Ok let’s try that again. Are all those things I just mentioned plus offered to be at your beck and call 24/7?” 

“He did not offer that, stop it.”

“Might as well have,” Lysandra muttered. “I just don’t want to see you throw this potentially good thing away. Rowan’s such a good guy, Aelin. You deserve to be happy.”

“I am happy!”

“Ok, then you deserve to be happier!”

Aelin sighed. She was getting nowhere with this conversation.

“Listen, I know I’m being pushy right now. And if you tell me to back off, I will. I promise. But I think that you and Rowan could have something great if you went for it. I just don’t want you to let it slip past you.” Lysandra threw her hands up in defense. “Ok. That’s it! I’m done, I promise.” She mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key. 

Aelin never felt like she needed a partner. Sure, she’d had her fair share of lovers over the years but never anything lasting or true. She wasn’t dense enough to not be able to tell the reason why, however. She knew that part of her problem was that she felt the same amount of loneliness when she was with someone as she did when she was single. No one ever made her feel seen or heard. 

Not until last night, that is. 

There was something about Rowan that made her feel like maybe, just maybe, someone could relate to her. That she wasn’t alone in the big wide world.

She just had to figure out what she wanted to do about it.

Tag List:

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[anonymusbosch]

really truly Feelings about coming back to my hometown and seeing it as an outsider (I only knew it as a child with my motion constrained by school and parents and being under 18) and an outsider (it's changed since I've been away these last 8 years) and an outsider (showing it to my partner and finding it both familiar and unfamiliar, and special and inadequate) and an outsider (my parents and sister have all moved and my childhood home is no longer mine - staying in a building with a door code to learn and furniture still being moved in) and an outsider (my favorite places have changed, moved, closed, repainted) and an outsider (new murals! new buildings! new bike lanes) and an outsider (how the Fuck do the bike lanes on the east bank connect) and an outsider (it's changed [you can never step in the same river twice] and I have too)

[eddiezpaghetti]

Okay, so my experience with Stranger Things is a weird one.

I didn't care when it first came out, started to watch it out of "might as well" in 2020, wasn't interested in it enough to make it past S2, forgot about it outside of going "oh, hey, cool, there's a lesbian in it now, I guess," in S3, got really annoyed when "Running Up That Hill" got popular from it because it was a song I listened to on fucking loop after one of my best friends died in high school and I fully expected its appearance in the show to ignore the whole survivor's guilt theme of the song (and was very happy to learn later that it did the exact opposite of ignoring the lyrics), saw people drawing Eddie, suddenly got a lot more interested, watched just the fourth season like a fucking psychopath because I was seriously only there for Eddie, then got interested enough to start the show over properly, having mostly forgotten what I did watch of the show before.

And let me tell you something from the perspective of someone who started with the complete fourth season, who wasn't there from the start, who wasn't tainted by ship goggles or this internal battle of hope and despair, who wasn't theorizing about what the painting could be or expecting Mike and Will to kiss when Volume 2 happened or rooting for Mike and Eleven's relationship to go down in flames or whatever the fuck. Just someone who went blind into Season 4.

It's really fucking obvious that Will and Mike are gonna be endgame.

Like holy fuck. It's so fucking blatant I don't even know why people are nervous.

No sane fucking person would shoot this scene this way if they wanted the audience to care about El and Mike as a couple. Despite being all blurry in the background, Will's reaction to what's happening here is smackdab in the fucking middle, clearly showing that the important part is what's going through his head here. What he's feeling. It's like the opposite of that scene from Kingdom Hearts II where Sora and Riku reunite and Kairi just fucking vanishes into the aether while it's happening because, despite the fact that she was standing between them when the scene began, she doesn't matter to the scene, so she's just kind of gone when the camera angle changes. Will could have been behind one of their heads, or so far in the distance he blends in with the background, but he's not. He's so obvious that despite being massively blurred out, he's still the first goddamn thing you look at. What, you think that's an accident? You think he's in the middle of this dramatic fucking scene because of a mistake? He basically has a big flashing neon arrow pointing at him with "THIS IS THE POINT" being screamed through a megaphone.

And then this?

They're paired up like they're taking fucking prom pictures. Each one of these pairs is so fucking close to one another and so fucking far from everyone else. It's not, "Oh, they're standing vaguely near each other in a group shot," it's fucking Noah's Ark out here. Again, there's no way to take this as an accident. It's not just a framing issue. If they wanted to make the shot look balanced while still not hiding anyone else behind El, they would have scattered people around much more naturally. Even if they wanted to keep Nancy with Jonathan and Hopper with Joyce, there's so much room on that hill for three people to stand on El's left and three on her right. But they didn't do that. They put Mike and Will together on purpose in the most obvious way possible.

Like I get that coming up with crackpot theories is fun in and of itself and I'm not blaming anyone for having fun. I totally get the appeal of arguing a point and reaching for every stupid little thing to pull into it because it's like a game, okay? I've done that. But if you're trying to actually convince someone (whether it's someone who wants to believe or someone who's pissed at the very idea that Mike and Will could be in love), stay away from blue and yellow lights, stay away from costume design, stay away from the existence of closets in backgrounds. And don't worry about whether Mike's gay or bi when he's in love with Will either way. I'll give you a little tip about persuasion: You're only as strong as your weakest argument. Even if you've got strong stuff in there, too, the person you're trying to convince is going to dismiss anything you say as complete insanity the second you start going on an entire tangent about the shape of a character's fucking pocket.

Sometimes, clothes are just clothes. Sometimes, there's a closet in the background because it helps establish that a character is in a bedroom. Sometimes, blue and yellow are just a couple of colors that look nice together. And sure, it might be set designers and costume designers and cinematographers smirking and winking at the audience from behind the camera. But if the show was just those things, instead of those things in the context of everything else, they wouldn't be saying anything of note.

But this?

This tells a story all on its own. Someone with no context can look at this and automatically assume that each paired person is standing with someone they care about deeply, seeking comfort as they watch some sort of disaster unfold. And yeah, romantic couples usually come in twos, and we live in an amatonormative society, so that's going to be the first association anyone makes seeing a bunch of people paired off.

It's the same reason you look at this

And go, "Oh..."

"Those two are probably a couple."

And I genuinely don't understand how people could have watched S4 Vol. 2 and gotten scared. Because as someone who went in with no investment whatsoever, I just looked at these two--

--and went, "Oh, those two are a couple. Good for them." And I moved on. Shut up about the trees for five seconds and just see the forest for what it is.

Oh, and if you're still nervous? Little thing from a storyteller here: You don't leave a hanging thread like "Will confessed his romantic feelings for Mike by projecting them onto El, but Mike either didn't understand or at least didn't say he understood," without coming back to that later. That's Chekov's gun hanging on the wall, babes. It's gonna fire at some point. If Mike was going to reject Will's feelings, if they weren't relevant, they would have had that discussion in Argyle's van. There'd be no reason to leave you in suspense.

[indestinatus]

it's interesting and downright sad sometimes when your creativity wave doesn't match the interaction wave of the fandom you know you can't and won't leave but still wish the excitement of others matched yours

[somecunttookmyurl]

all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults

you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something

[quietwingsinthesky]

i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.

[rapidhighway]

Hnngg

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

I am the happiest person on earth right now because I just went out with a friend to grab a late lunch and it was just supposed to be a quick casual catch up thing that turned into a 4 hour conversation in the car about things that happened to us almost a decade ago 🥲

[silent-moons-camp]

I love space SO much. And it absolutely terrifies me too. If I wasn't terrified of space, and I was good at math, I'd be working at NASA. But even then I won't ever get to explore the galaxy in my lifetime, because we are nowhere near travel that equals the speed of light, and even then, lightspeed is still painfully slow on the cosmic scale.

Did you know that, no matter where we are in humanity, our sun will begin to die billions of years from now? We may all be dead and gone, or we may have evolved into something unrecognizable, or we may still be around. But one day, the Earth will be engulfed by the sun. Or it'll be thrown out of orbit. It'll be the end for Earth. We may have figured out how to go beyond the speed of light by then. We could have discovered that the Einstein-Rosen Bridge theory - wormholes - is real, and we could have used that to bend spacetime to our will and find somewhere new to call home, potentially even new universes.

But we don't know. Earth will likely become uninhabitable before the natural lifespan of our sun can engulf it, as a result of our very human mistakes and actions and impacts.

And... this is just a longwinded way of me saying, that's what Starfield is about.

It's about being human in the face of the divine, in the face of being so so so small in the universe. It's about conflict, the tragedy of it, how it can so easily destroy our humanity before time itself has the chance to. It's about looking at the petty wars between the UC and the Collective and going, "what are they doing? There is plenty of space for us all. This is only our galaxy, what about beyond?" It's about humanity pushing forward for answers about the universe and how they will always resort to the same petty violence over those answers. It's about how you can decide what you do with those answers. It's about looking in the eye of sure destruction that will certainly come one day, and say, "I will live and love in spite of it."

You can certainly become like the Hunter. You can continuously perpetuate the cycle of very human violence because that is all that is left to you, because you have embraced the uselessness of it all. Or you can become like the Pilgrim. You can settle down and bring love and kindness to others, and bring them knowledge, despite the fact that everything is pointless.

We are just starstuff. We come from the stars, and back to the stars we will eventually go, one way or another. And it's up to you to decide if you will embrace that as the only meaning in the universe, or if you will reject the simplicity of that, and embrace humanity, embrace love, embrace compassion, embrace meaning in spite of it all.

That is what Starfield is about. That's what it is about to me. And I love it.

[jakeperalta]

spent weeks psyching myself up to stand up to my mum and then immediately got shot down by her 😃👍

[thediktatortot]

.