#at the end of the day we're all here to enjoy the same journey

[nighttime-tea-party]

Man I miss the times when you could ship or not ship whatever you wanted and get along regardless. Anyway I love all my mutuals and followers who don’t ship sebaciel and thanks for not hating me

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | nineteen. (final)

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 5.5k

—chapter content/warnings:  cussing/mature language, some alcohol consumption, seonghwa (lmao im jk just had to do it one time for the one time - hes not really a warning but he does pop in for a second), oral (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, praising, lots and lots of kisses 

—on rotation: universe - thuy ・complicated - nivea

—a/n: & we've come to the end 😭 sobbing!! tysm for all your love on this one, i truly appreciate every single one of you that cried, loved and supported this couple from day one!! <33 it truly meant a lot to me. i hope to see you alongside of me on the next journey hehe 💕 find my upcoming works here & lmk if you wanna be on the taglists! if you need something more sad & angsty, here is home. ILYYYY!!

"Baby! Yeo!" You squeal when you see Yunho lined up with Yeosang amongst the crowd of graduates waiting to pile their way in to the field where the ceremony would be taking place. He waves, tall and proud in his cap and gown, blushing from ear to ear when you rush over for a quick hug.

"Pretty girl." He mumbles against your head before kissing you on the temple. "Go get your seat before it fills up." His hands are on your waist as he looks down at you, brushing the hair away from your face.

"I know, but I just had to see you really quickly." You point to your friends behind you, all holding up cardboard cut outs of Yunho and Yeosang's faces. "Look! We came prepared!" They laugh.

"I'm glad you picked a nice photo of me at least." 

"Oh, we have both cute and funny faces, don't worry." Yeosang rolls his eyes before giving off another chuckle. You slip a water bottle filled halfway with tequila in Yunho's hand, making Yeosang give off a loud laugh when he realizes what you're giving them.

"Babe." Yunho says almost in a scolding manner that makes you giggle.

"You've got a whole 3-4 hours or so of a graduation ceremony, love! What else are you gonna do?!"

"She's right, what are we gonna do?"

"Oh my— go, babe. We're gonna head in soon." You laugh and give him a quick peck on the lips before squeezing his hand.

"Okay, okay. I love you. Enjoy!"

"I love you, too." You wave once more before running off to your friends and heading out onto the lawn. It's a beautiful day out, and the sun is already shining even though it's still early in the morning. You, your friends, your mom and sister, and Yunho's mom and aunt eventually find ways to each other and take place in some seats right by the stage and underneath the shade.

As expected, the ceremony kicks off and it's a long one. The President of the school speaks before other distinguished professors and a special guest speaker take over the mic. Yunho and Yeosang surprisingly do take a few swigs from the water bottle mid-speech, catching other graduates doing the same to keep themselves alive and on the same high they started with this morning. Once they start handing out diplomas to the graduates by school/department, it tacks on another hour or so before they're finally reaching the Computer Science department.

"Oh shit, finally!" Soobin says, fixing his position in his seat and getting his phone ready.

"Are they even going in alphabetical order?" Seungmin stands, stepping aside to make sure he isn't blocking the view.

"Nope. They're going by row, I think." Chaery stands before pointing and grabbing you by the arm. "Wait, wait! Yunho and Yeo are standing now!" You stand and let your family and his family know that it might be time to head closer towards the stage. The entire group makes their way towards the side of the stage that is blocked off solely for family and loved ones to snap photos of their graduates. You sneak your way past a few people, bringing everyone closer in an area where Yunho and Yeosang could see the group clearly as they walk across the stage and off.

The first to walk across the stage is Yeosang; his family roars next to you while you all hold up his boards. You snap a few photos of him just as he walks off and quickly flashes his diploma before waving one last goodbye to get to his seat. At this point, Yunho takes a step onto the stage, waiting for his name to be called. You feel the tears welling in your eyes when you find that Yunho isn't looking at anyone but you. 

"I love you." He mouths out and subtly taps his chest just as they call his name.

"I love you, too." You mouth back before snapping his photos— catching that sparkle in his eye, that beautiful smile on his face. That's your man and you love him so, so much.

"Jeong Yunho!" Chaery yells as you all put up the blown up boards of his face. You all cheer and scream for him as he finally crosses the stage and grabs his diploma, doing a little celebratory dance as he steps down and passes everyone for final photos. Yunho quickly grabs your hand and presses a light kiss to the surface before running off to his seat. "I swear to God, you two are the sweetest." Chaery pokes out her bottom lip before throwing her arm around your shoulder. "That man loves you and adores you to bits, Y/N."

"And I do, too." She squeezes you as you all make your way back to your seats to endure the rest of the graduates getting their diplomas.

"Do you guys have any plans for Yunho and Yeosang tonight?" Your mom leans over to ask and you shake your head.

"No, they didn't wanna do anything besides the lunch thingy we're all going to."

"Oh, really? Not even a party?" You shake your head.

"Nope. I promise you, we tried." Your mom chuckles and nods.

As the rest of the ceremony finally comes to an end, caps are being tossed in the air from all directions while the graduates celebrate in unison one last time. You hurriedly run to the nearest bathroom because your body decides this would be the best time to do so. Luckily, there isn't much of a line or anything so you're able to slip in and out after relieving yourself. But once you head back to the lawn, you find yourself completely lost in a sea full of graduates, their families and loved ones. When you tippy-toe to try and find Yunho, you surprisingly can't find a glimpse of him and it makes you a bit anxious.

"Oops, sorry—"

"Sorry—" You look up. "Seonghwa." You bump into him as you continue to try and navigate your way through the crowd to find Yunho and Yeosang, with Seonghwa also trying to find his family in the sea of people.

"Oh, hey." He looks down at you.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you." He says with a small smile.

"I really do wish you the best." He looks at you before looking down at his feet and nodding.

"I appreciate that, Y/N. I hope senior year treats you well." You give him a toothless smile before you finally spot Yunho over his shoulder. Seonghwa watches as your smile grows, hearing the small squeals leave your lips when you finally spot Yunho with your friends and family.

"Thanks. Good luck!" You bid Seonghwa farewell once and for all before running over to your boyfriend. Of course, Seonghwa keeps his eyes trained on you two for a bit while you swing your arms around Yunho's neck and kiss him so sweetly, so lovingly. Yunho looks down at you like the entire world is handed to him on a gold platter, like you hold the galaxies in your eyes, like every inch of you has been crafted by the stars. 

You are everything to him, and it's clear even for someone like Seonghwa— who isn't sure how to give love, yet is very open to receiving it.  He could've had that, if he wasn't so dumb. You really did believe in him at one point, but he didn't do anything with it. He didn't choose you.

But truthfully, in the end, he's happy you're happy. Even though it took him awhile to fully understand that. He knew he couldn't fully give you what you wanted, and he knows Yunho is way better than he'll ever be. You deserve that, and Seonghwa knows he should've tried harder when he had you. Not after.

Life's a bunch of learning lessons, and he truly gets that now.

"Congrats, baby!" You giggle when Yunho presses repeated kisses against your face, holding you against him.

"Hey! Turn to the camera!" Your mom yells from behind you. "Let me snap some photos of you and the handsome graduate! Hurry! Food's waiting!" Your mom playfully scolds you before snapping a bunch of photos. Everyone is taking their time snapping photos of you and Yunho, you and your friends with Yunho and Yeosang, and it takes a good bit before everyone is satisfied enough to leave. 

Yeosang's family joins everyone for a celebratory meal at the bbq restaurant in the city. It's a late celebratory lunch being that it's a bit past noon, but everyone is happy and still in good spirits despite the long ceremony and warmer weather. It's nice to see everyone you love under one roof, with Yunho and Yeosang rightfully being celebrated for all their hardwork. While your mom and sister sit alongside of Yunho's mom and aunt, your dad calls mid-dinner to congratulate Yunho over Facetime and apologizes for missing the ceremony due to a business trip. Yunho eventually ends up agreeing to a random fishing date with your dad in the coming weeks, making you laugh how cutely [and quickly] he agreed.

"Babe." You look up at him sweetly as everyone exits the restaurant, your hand loosely intertwined with his.

"When you say my name like that, you're always up to no good." You playfully smack him with a gasp.

"Oh my god, not even!" You giggle. "I just wanted to know if you're happy."

"Of course I am."

"Do you wanna do anything else to celebrate?"

"Nah." He shakes his head and boops your nose. "Just wanna spend time with you. Besides, I told you I'd take you somewhere this summer, remember? That'll be a way to celebrate."

"I feel like I wanna do more for you."

"You do a lot for me already. I promise." He squeezes your hand.

"I'm gonna be honest, and it's probably gonna sound lame, but a nap sounds really nice right now." Yeosang says. "We got up way too early for graduation." You laugh.

"Why don't we nap and head to the beach tonight for a chill bonfire?" Soobin suggests with a shrug. "So we can celebrate but also not do too much?"

"That actually sounds amazing." Chaery looks at with a surprised expression. "Way to go, Choi!" She punches him on the arm, earning a small groan in response.

"Yeah, I'm down for that."

"I'll drive us and see if the others wanna come along?" Yeosang and Yunho nod.

"Yay!" You clap before bidding farewell to your mom, sister, Yunho's mom and his aunt. 

As expected, everyone heads their separate ways and gets ready to relax for the early afternoon. Chaery and Seungmin head off to the grocery store to grab a few drinks and snacks for tonight, and some ice for the cooler. After taking a quick shower, you head back to Yunho's— already finding Yeosang's door shut close, while Yunho is also in bed with an arm lazily draped over his face. As you quietly shut the door behind you and walk towards his bed, you hear Yunho's small snores a little clearer. You giggle to yourself as you carefully climb over and take your place on the empty side of the bed, but Yunho is quick to shift in his own position and throw an arm around you as soon as he feels the bed dip. His hand gently squeezes at your side just as he presses up against your back, letting out a soft sigh against the back of your head.

"Sorry baby." He sleepily says. "Tried waiting but I got sleepy."

"That's okay, Yuyu. Go back to sleep." He presses a light kiss to your head before snuggling closer to you. Within a few minutes, you feel your lids getting heavier, breathing more regulated. It's not long before you fall into a deep sleep with Yunho cuddled behind you; also meeting you in your dreams.

Eventually, your slumber comes to an end when you feel Yunho pressing light kisses to your jaw, cheek, neck and head. You giggle as your eyes flutter open, giving your body a tiny, but good stretch in Yunho's arms.

"Awake already?"

"Mm, we slept for like 3 hours." He laughs. "We should eat before we head to the beach."

"What do you wanna eat? I'm too content here." You chuckle.

"I could name a few things." Yunho smirks before gently nibbling on your earlobe and giving your thigh a squeeze.

"You go to sleep for 3 hours and wake up like this?!" You snort.

"Baby." He whines, so you turn to look at him. 

"And here I thought you really wanted to eat."

"I do! I'm just in the mood for a variety of things." 

"Oh?" You let out a loud squeal when Yunho comes for your neck and starts attacking you with more kisses.

"Oy! I can hear you two from out here!" Chaery says from outside the door, causing the both of you to pause and look towards the door.

"When did she get here?" You ask. Yunho snorts as he continues to play around, hand teasing at the edge of your panties. "Yunho!"

"What?" He nips at your neck.

"You lovebirds awake or what? We brought some food over." Seungmin asks right by the door. You can hear both him and Chaery mumbling from behind— something along the lines of:

Should we just knock?

Should we go in?

You think they're still sleeping after hearing her earlier?

What if they're indecent and in compromised positions?

Dude, just tell them the food is outside, they'll come when they're ready.

You laugh to yourself amidst Yunho's kisses, internally shaking your head at your roommates for almost acting on their thoughts. You return your attention back to your boyfriend, who is looking at you adoringly even as his fingers continue to trace the material of your panties.

"Food is outside when you two are done!" Seungmin says, followed by an 'ow' afterwards.

"Yunho, what are you up to?"

"I'll be quick." He laughs. "Just wanna please you."

"Everyone is outside!"

"You can be quiet though, right?" He lowers himself under the blankets, taking his position in between your thighs. You bite onto your bottom lip, feeling Yunho tug your panties down before slipping in two digits. You let out a quiet, breathy moan, twitching when you suddenly feel him latch onto your clit— tongue working magic around your core. 

"Oh shit—" Your moan gets louder and Yunho gives your thigh a squeeze to warn you. You feel the pleasure quickly building in your gut, slowly working your hips against his mouth; hands gripping his hair with good pressure. You feel him pick up the pace, pumping into you faster before he focuses on your clit alone, letting you grind your hips against him. He groans against you, pressing his hips deeper into the mattress to feel some kind of friction, to relieve himself in any way possible.  "Yunho, fuck—" Sooner or later, your orgasm washes over you and completely takes over your senses. You tremble against him, back arching off of the mattress as the aftershocks trickle through you. "Jesus, babe."

"Mhm, but you feel good, don't you?" He pokes out of the covers, laughing with rose-tinted cheeks.

"What about you?"

"I'm good." He leans in to kiss you. "That's all I needed."

"You're crazy."

"I love you, too." He kisses you again. "Ready to actually eat?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" You laugh, letting Yunho get up and fix himself first. You throw on some sweats, also following suit to make sure you look decent enough for your friends. 

"Wow, finally." Chaery says when she sees Yunho ski-daddle to the bathroom with a quick wave, you plopping yourself down onto the living room floor next to her. "You good?" She teases, nudging you in the arm.

"Mm, thanks for bring the food."

"Course."

"Who else is tagging along?"

"Hyunjin. Yeonjun. Jongho. Minnie. Someone else, I forgot though." Soobin says. "They're riding with Jongho."

"I'm surprised they're still around. Usually, they're all quick to dip as soon as finals are over." Chaery adds. "Eat up, replenish your stamina." She hands Yunho a plate when he plops onto the floor next to you.

"Thank you." He flashes her a bright, playful smile. "Did you guys get everything for tonight?"

"Mhm!" 

"You should've told us. We could've chipped in." Yeosang nods in agreement.

"Um, this is for you guys. Why on earth would I do that?" She laughs. "No, absolutely not. I just want you guys to have fun and enjoy tonight."

"Thank you." Yeosang repeats with a small smile. Everyone finishes up eating in the living room before Yeosang and Soobin are hauling the cooler into his car for tonight's festivities. As soon as the sun sets, the group piles into the car, squeezing into the back to fit [as safely as possible]. The beach Soobin picks isn't the usual, popular beach that everyone tends to go to. He decides it's best to go to the smaller one that's tucked off to the side so it isn't bombarded with people on a beautiful night like tonight. It takes a quick 10-min drive down the highway, along with tackling a curvy, winding road before Soobin is driving down a small, quiet residential area and pulling up at a dead-end. 

"Jongho and them are here already." He says, pulling up behind their car along the side of the street near the dead-end sign. Everyone hops out and grabs what they can to haul it over to the beach, having to walk down the path in order to reach the sand. Jongho and the rest of the group already have a huge fire going, chairs situated around the fire with a few snacks and the bluetooth speakers softly playing music laying around.

"Finally!" Jongho says with his arms wide open. "Congrats Yunho and Yeo!"

"Thanks, my guy!" Yunho responds with a laugh, greeting your friends with a hug and thanking them for hanging out to celebrate. Everyone gets started with rounds of shots before dancing around in the sand and splashing in the water. Yunho's happily singing along to the songs even as you two walk into the water and try to playfully splash each other. At once, he carries you and attempts to throw you into the water, laughing away as you chase him and scold him for even trying.

When you finally settle back onto the chair and start roasting some marshmallows for smores, Yunho plops onto the chair next to you— gently nudging you on the arm before kissing you on the cheek.

"Making some smores?" You giggle and nod.

"Want one?"

"Sure." You throw a marshmallow onto another stick, keeping it near the fire. While waiting for it to be perfectly roasted, you look up and admire the stars strung across the velvety sky.

The moon.

"Yunho."

"Yeah?"

"It's a full moon." He looks at you with a small smile before kissing you on the temple, helping you arrange his smores on a plate.

"It is, and I want you to remember this one and the next ones to come."

"Why?"

"Just cause." He gives you a small smile, happy to have made the moon something you two could share, something that will always serve as a reminder of the love you two hold for each other. "It's our thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is our thing." You giggle, resting your head on his shoulders while you continue to watch your friends fool around on the sand and enjoy themselves under the clear, night sky. "I'm proud of you, you know that right? Incredibly proud of you."

"I know."

"I'll be the support you every step of the way."

"Thank you, love. And I'll be here, too. I'm here."

♣︎ SUMMER

You splashed in the clearest, bluest waters you've ever seen, Yunho coming behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. You give off a tiny scream when he surprises you from behind, lifting you and dropping you back into the water.

"Jeong Yunho!" You laugh mid-scold, wiping the water from your face.

"I like it when you say my name." He smirks, followed by a deep laugh. "Sorry, baby. I had to."

"You're lucky I like you." He smiles, hands resting on your waist to pull you close.

"That's a shame, I thought you loved me, too." He teases while you wrap your arms around his neck.

"You're lucky I love you."

"Ah, that's better." He licks his lips, water droplets slowly falling down his face from his wet hair. "Mind if I kiss you, pretty girl?"

"Not at all." You bite onto your bottom lip before Yunho leans forward for a kiss, holding it for as long as he possibly can before he's pulling back. He presses one, two, three repeated kisses before giving your hips a squeeze.

"Wanna head back to the room?"

"Yeah, actually. I'm kinda pooped from splashing in the water all day."

"Same." He laces his fingers with yours as you both walk out of the water and back towards the resort. 

"What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"Um, I don't know. Let me figure that out. You just relax." He gives you a small smile. The sand feels warm but soft beneath your feet, and the sun is still shining even though it's getting ready to set soon. Thankfully, it isn't nearly as bright and hot as it was earlier in the day anymore. You grab your things from the beach chair, washing off your feet under the water spout before slipping back into your slippers and following the trail back into the resort. 

When you step back into the room, Yunho is quick to start a hot shower for you, claiming he'll take care of dinner. So, you hop in and take your time underneath the hot water; letting it ease the slight soreness that came from swimming and playing in the water most of the day. Yunho makes a quick trip down the street to pick up some food, laying everything out on the balcony table so that you two could enjoy it during a peaceful night.

"Aw, babe! When did you go out and grab this?" You say as you walk out to the balcony in your cute grey shorts and matching hoodie. 

"When you were swimming in the shower." You laugh and playfully punch him on the bicep.

"I did not take that long. But, thank you." You tippytoe to give him a peck.

"Let me take a quick shower. I'll be out soon." He tips your chin upwards before smiling down at you.

"Okay." You settle onto the balcony chair and scroll through your phone, texting your friends while you patiently wait for Yunho to shower and get comfy for dinner. You look out at the view, admiring the way the moonlight shines down onto the surface of the water, illuminating everything near its path. It's quiet with the occasional sound of waves crashing against the sand, the occasional chatter of other families passing by to get to their rooms. It's peaceful, but it feels extra special being away from home with Yunho.

When it hits close to 20 minutes, Yunho's finally joining you in the balcony, running a hand through his damp hair as he sits in the chair next to you. The both of you begin to dig in and talk about your day, planning what else you should do tomorrow and the following day before you're having to leave and head back home. Of course, in typical Yunho fashion, he jokes around and plays around mid-meal, just wanting to hear you laugh and giggle next to him. When you both feel satisfied, he sits back and takes his turn to admire the view, his hand laced with yours as he presses kisses onto the surface.

"Baby." He says softly, his thumb caressing the surface of your hand.

"Hm?"

"Do you see the full moon?" He points upwards.

"I do." You smile at him, remembering the days when you used to walk with Yunho and look at the moon.

"Can you do me a favor then?"

"Of course."

"Keep your eyes on it for me, please?"

"What're you up to, Jeong Yunho?" You giggle, doing as asked by keeping your gaze on the full moon ahead. You don't even see Yunho move, nor do you hear him fiddle around, but you are stuck on the moon nonetheless. It's beautiful, it's bright, it's dreamy.

"Nothing." He laughs. "Tell me what you see, love."

"Yunho, I—" You turn to look at him, but before you can even say, do, anything, your eyes immediately shift to the center of the table, causing you to pause mid-sentence.

On the table is an opened small, black box with a ring inside. A simple, but beautifully chic rose gold ring that blended seamlessly into an infinity-shape near the center, a small heart-shaped diamond sitting in the middle cushioned in between smaller diamonds. It's beautiful, it's bright, it's dreamy.

"Y-Yunho." You say his name softly. Your heart is beating out of your chest because although you'd love to do this with Yunho, you aren't sure if you're entirely ready. But luckily for you, Yunho knows you well.

Very well.

And he understands. He knows the feeling all too well, too.

"I— it's a promise ring. Because as much as I want to say fuck it right now, I know we're both waiting until we're absolutely ready to build a life together. I just want you to know that I'm yours. No matter what. I'm yours and nothing's gonna change that. I'm here."

"Babe." The tears well up in your eyes as you admire the ring sitting in the box before looking back up at him. He's right, and it's what you love the most about him. He's never one to rush or pressure you into anything, he's the one who thinks logically and rationally. But, he never fails to show you just how much you mean to him, how much this relationship means to him. There was always this cloud above the both of you after that night you two talked about building a life together and doing the crazy shit grownups do. Because even though you truly love Yunho and you know he's the one you wanna be with, you still have a whole year of school ahead of you, more dance competitions ahead of you; plus, whatever else post-grad will bring for you. Yunho is still navigating his own life after graduation and even though he might be in a slightly better place than you right now, you know he's also trying to be there for his mom and aunt more. Things are still unsettled and it wouldn't be the time for you two to think about engagements, marriages, what kind of home you want, kids— even if that's the end goal.

Whatever the combination looked like.

But having Yunho do this, to give you a promise ring that shows you the want, the need, the dedication he has to be there for you every step of the way and vice versa. It means more than anything, and it's all you could've ever asked for. You're happy to know he is yours, just as you are his.

"I love it. Thank you."

"Can I?" He licks his lips, taking the ring from the box in order to slip it on your finger. You simply nod as the tears stream down your cheeks, fingers slightly shaking at the overflowing love and happiness you feel being here, being with Yunho. "Baby, why are you crying?" He chuckles a bit, leaning over to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"I just.. I don't know. I just love you. Sometimes, it still feels so unreal." He subtly bites onto his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling even more. But, he thinks you're so cute right now. So pretty, so beautiful. So.. his.

"Come here, love." He gestures to his lap. You silently walk over and straddle his lap, arms lazily wrapped around his neck. He leans in for a kiss, large hands resting on your hips while he indulges in the sweetness of your lips, the way you feel resting on him, your scent.

Everything.

The kiss intensifies quick, and you find yourself slowly grinding on Yunho— feeling how hard he is beneath you. It's a slow grind, one where you drag your clothed core over his length ever so nicely, just to feel every bit of him against you. 

"Fuck." He hisses.

"Let's go inside, babe."

"Or.. I can take you right here, right now. Let everyone see what you do to me." He presses a kiss to your jaw. "How you make me feel." He looks up at you just as he presses another kiss to your chin. "Hm, baby? Should I just selfishly keep you to myself?" He hums, hands squeezing your hips a little harder as you continue to slowly rock against him. You let out a soft, whiny moan and it shoots straight down to Yunho's dick. After his 'lil bits of teasing, he knows at the end of the day, he just wants you to himself. No one else.

No one, nothing, in between.

So, he swiftly carries you in one motion, hurrying into the room before slamming the balcony door shut. He drops you onto the bed, immediately latching his lips onto yours in a hungry, heated kiss. He crawls in between your lap as you lay back, Yunho's hands immediately squeezing your inner thighs. He lowers himself just enough to tease your core with his clothed, hardened member. That contact alone sends tingles down your spine, enough for a moan to slip from your lips in between kisses. Yunho doesn't waste any time shedding off your clothes, admiring every inch of your body with trails of kisses, gentle touches. 

"Need you." He says in your ear. "Can I have you?" You nod hastily, helping Yunho out of his shirt. 

"You have me, Yunho." He pauses and looks at you for a moment, and for the first time ever, you aren't sure what it means. You aren't sure what he's feeling. But, his expression softens, his eyes are holding onto the stars, the moon, the sun, that he sees in your own. Because he has you. 

He has you.

He doesn't say anything before locking his lips with yours, the need, want, desire, so evident in every move he makes. He takes a few moments to slip in two digits, just to get a feel for how wet you are. He groans against you when you arch your back upwards, too hungry, too eager, to feel you wrapped around him. He starts to pump himself a few times, spreading your wetness across his length before lining himself up at your entrance. 

"Ready for me?" You nod, gasping at him pushing into you until he bottoms out to the hilt. The both of you adjust to the feeling before he begins to work you at a steady pace. But, Yunho keeps himself close to you— skin to skin, hand tightly locked with yours. It's slow and steady, intimate.

Tonight feels so much more different. So much more intense. 

So much more special.

Yunho continues to whisper praises against your skin, slightly picking up his pace and making you whimper in response. He finds that he wants to feel more of you, so he sits back onto his knees and holds you flush against him while he gives you control. You start to roll your hips, hands tugging at the ends of his hair when you pick up your pace. The position has you feeling every inch of him inside of you, only wanting more— to be closer, if ever possible.

"Oh, babe—" You mewl and tilt your head back in pleasure. He takes the opportunity to nibble at your neck, tongue swiping across the surface.

"Oh shit, baby." He moans breathily. "Just like that. You're so good to me." He repeats. "So good to me." The grip on your hips gets a little stronger while Yunho guides you. He pushes you to ride him faster, clit rubbing against him so deliciously it pushes you to the edge— right where he needs you to be.

"Oh god— god Yunho." You moan loudly. "I'm gonna cum—"

"That's it. That's my good girl." He coos, holding you against him tightly. "Let me feel you." He feels your walls pulsing against him, squeezing his length tightly in all the right places. He lets out another moan as he adjusts his position and fucks up into you to chase his own high. You wrap your arms around him, whining from the sensitivity until you hear him mumble curses against your neck; groaning when he releases and fills you up. The both of you don't move from your positions for awhile, only indulging in more slow, sweet kisses despite being a sweaty mess.

"I love you so much, Y/N. You literally have no idea how much I adore you." Yunho brushes the hair away from your face. "I can't wait to see what the future holds for the both of us. Cause I'm here. I don't wanna go anywhere if it's not with you." He repeats, kissing you gently.

"I love you too, Yunho. I'm yours." You caress his cheek, taking him in; everything about him. He smiles sweetly at you, carrying you and holding you close while making his way to the bathroom.

"Time for another shower?" You laugh loudly, letting Yunho take care of you for the rest of the night in many ways.

In the end, those literature assignments would always mean something to you two. Those nights when he found you in the parking lot. The random McDonalds trips. The walks underneath the full moon. The single rose. The fight over Seonghwa and those bumps in the road.

Those will always mean something to you two because in the end, no matter the chaos, the background noise, the extra baggage, it all brought you closer together. 

In the end, it blessed you with Yunho.

In the end, it blessed you with the greatest love you've ever known.

In the end, it will always be you and Yunho against the world.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunhotteokkk @yungigiggles @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall @vixensss @choisansplushie @arya9111 @my-lightspirit @dazednconfusion @astro-doll-the-star @faesmingi @idfkeddieishot @startinystay @emily505 @mgdixon @yusalterego @cheynalexilaiho @svintsandghosts @mismatchfluffysocks @meeitany @au-ghosttype

[pumpkinbxtch]

good morning, a request please apollo/lestrange x reader how percy and poseidon react, if apollo asks the reader to marry him (apollo found his definitive soulmate in the reader)

.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ “beach proposal”

— apollo/lester x fem!daughter of poseidon!reader

summary: Apollo don't needs any other proof to know that you are the definitive love of his life. Hard thing to say like a god. Now he will ask for your hand but not before announcing himself to your father and your brother, Percy Jackson.

warnings: none, i think. yep, still using swear words.

A/N: goood morning (it's late at night) first things first, thank you for share me your cute desires, second, yes i will and here you have. enjoy, please. forgive me if it's not worthy of you.

- From the other side of the milky way, María 🩵

His immortal heart was beating so fast that he thought he could die (reallu, he definitely already knew how it felt)

He kept his eyes fixed on the sun from Long Island Sound. The golden hour illuminated the water and the sweet aroma of strawberries invaded his lungs; the strawberries from camp half-blood. He had never felt this anxious and at peace at the same time.

He had been through so much, he had waited so much, he had wished for so much, but, above all, he loved you so much…

Now he could see everything even more clearly.

The breeze rustled his brown and golden hair.

He closed his eyes, said a blessing and gave thanks. He gave thanks for his journey as a mortal, he gave thanks because he did not allow himself to forget the beauty of being human and because love blessed him when he saw you.

That is, when he actually saw you.

Being a god, you can be everywhere at the same time, but you lose your sense of appreciation for everything that exists. When you're human, uhm no.

From that day on, life afterward was eleven times more colorful, beautiful and full of meaning because you also saw him. I mean, yes. Apollo is a god, who wouldn't see that? But at that moment it was Lester. If before he had no regrets, now even less.

“You'll end up forgetting her, she's just another mortal” They said. “Gods, now she's really in trouble,” the campers said the first few days.

“Another whim? Make sure she doesn't end up so bad this time,” Zeus, his father, reprimanded him.

The small waves broke gently on the shore, and he walked so close to it that his feet were slightly sunk in the wet sand.

—Hey, Apollo!

The named turned slowly, and his heartbeat accelerated even more.

Percy Jackson.

The young man stumbled forward in the sand. He took off his converse, threw them away with a curse, and ran towards him.

—Why did you call me to come here?

His legs began to shake.

— Percy, I…

— Wait — the black-haired raised his hand — And my sister?

He looked at Percy, his brow furrowed and sea-colored eyes examining him from head to toe as if he were searching for clues of some crime in his clothes. Apollo couldn't help but smile.

—In the camp, greeting everyone. She hasn't been here in a while.

The boy noded. The sand splattered from his ankles was washed away by a small wave.

—Neither do I, — said the son of Poseidon, with a certain nostalgia in his voice.

Poseidon…

—But, —Percy searched the god's eyes. Always insightful — We're all in New Rome now. Why bring her first and then call only me?

Apollo reached out and took Percy's hand. All in a slow and careful way. He thought that any rude move and Percy would have an outburst for how close he was treating him. But, to his surprise, it was not like that.

The green eyes admired him with slight confusion, and they walked together into the waters.

To Apollo, every step felt solemn and warm. His heart could feel a spark of joy, but his stomach was clenching with uncertainty.

When the water reached both of their thighs, cut the steps off. The god raised his hand without letting go of Percy, and he felt a kind of current run through his spine.

Percy had never been so quiet since… Well, ever. But apparently the discretion with which he was handling himself helped him keep the attention of the demigod.

Then, a whirlpool emerged from the waters, and Percy's eyes widened.

— Father?

The sea god stabbed his trident into the sand, reaffirming his position in the water. Apollo let go of the young man's hand and made a small bow, something that did not inspire good news in Poseidon.

He looked at his son and then at the sun god.

— Have you called me?

Percy pointed at Apollo.

— He called US.

Apollo's insides seemed to tangle with each other, almost making him vomit. Apollo gently pushed Percy so that he stood next to his father and looked at them nervously.

Poseidon pressed down on the trident and cleared his throat.

— my daughter, Apollo?

—She's in the camp! —Percy rushed to say, earning a silent scolding from his father.

Apollo bowed briefly in respect. Poseidon narrowed his eyes.

— That's true.

— and why isn't she here?

Percy looked at his father and imitated his action of searching Apollo carefully, again. as if he had committed something unforgivable.

The god paused and extended his hand towards both of them, a small golden light shining together at dusk. When the light died out, he revealed a small chest lying in his palm.

Percy looked at him in confusion, completely unnoticed, but Poseidon gritted his teeth.

— I have found in her, what I have longed for since my existence.

Percy gasped, and his mood made a small whirlwind rise around him.

— No! —he shouted.

Apollo calmed his breathing, trying to stay calm.

— I had never met someone like her.

— No! Lie! —Percy pointed at him with eyes full of anger, or that was fear?— It's one thing for you to be lovebirds, but—

—Son of mine…

— is MY sister!— Percy's chest expanded in such a way that Apollo feared for his ribs, he took a step and knelt, bowing his head.

Poseidon would have imagined that such a show of respect would be directed towards him, but no, it was towards Percy.

how could it not be? Apollo knew that the gods were ignoring their responsibilities as parents. He knew that the most important person for you was the one who had taken care of your back in all those adventures, just as you took care of his, it was him, was your brother.

—She was by my side in my time as a human. She has shown me what love is.— Apollo looked up pleadingly.

—And now you just want to take her away, why?

— I won't take her anywhere, I want to take her as my wife.

— TAKE HER-

— Percy — Poseidon's voice vibrated through the waters, Apollo, still kneeling, gave him a passive but firm look.

The sun god rose and stood in front of the two men.

— Poseidon, Percy…

The youngest clenched his fists and a few small tears appeared in his eyes.

—Actually, she has the last word. I just wanted you guys to be… present.

Both Percy, Poseidon and even Apollo knew that very well. Especially Apollo, what would he do if you said no? He'd probably cry for eons (literally) yet he couldn't stop craving the approval of your brother and your…father.

Then Percy's eyes traveled to his back and he opened his mouth slightly. He felt the greatest chills a god could feel, then he turned.

Your silhouette looming over the coast, bright and full of life. Your eyes lit up when you saw those three gathered together.

Before addressing you, Apollo gave them a look. The three approached the shore, they gave Apollo enough space. They would see you from there, where the water surrounded their ankles.

— my dear… — Apollo said sweetly, trotting towards you and taking your hands.

You were confused. Your father, Percy, why didn't you travel together if he came too? Your eyes looked at your sweet Apollo. His current form was the mix of “old” Apollo with Lester.

As soon as he reached your side, you took his hand.

— What's going on? Are you already in trouble? —You asked with a raised eyebrow and a sideways smile.

Apollo smiled and kissed your knuckles without taking his eyes off you.

—Or I'll be.

You laughed, that melodious laugh. He definitely didn't want to be without you.

— you'll be? because...? — You were confused, your hand still hooked on Apollo's. You looked at your father who smiled calmly and then at Percy, who was staring at you; He only made that expression when he was terrified of something.

You turned your gaze to Apollo, now a little more worried.

— Love?

— My beloved — Apollo whispered, just for you. Without letting go, he got down on one knee and the velvet chest from before appeared. You held your breath.

The waters stirred.

— There is no poem, song, melody, or haiku that can describe the feelings you make me feel. You are what I always wanted, dreamed and desired. — Apollo opened the small box, revealing a ring; Instead of a precious stone, a small pearl was placed on the ring with two laurel leaves made of gold surrounding it. A clear representation of both. — Today I ask you to let me be your husband because it is me who is given the honor of being the owner of your affection. I promise to take care of it and treasure it.

Your eyes filled with tears, and you knelt down to your boyfriend's height.

— I would like to — The mass of water shook the banks with more force.

A few meters away, Percy, your brother, remained standing, no matter how much the water tried to knock him down. A smile formed on his lips and the first tear ran down his cheek.

Poseidon took his son's shoulder, and they walked towards you.

You looked at your father, who smiled gently at you and then gave Apollo a stern look.

— At sea.

— On Olympus —  Apollo said immediately, determined to win. You raised your eyebrow. Were they fighting over the wedding location?

— The sea

— Olympus

— In the ocean

— Delphi

— Enough! — You snorted and looked disapprovingly at both gods.

Your brother was still silent, certainly not usual. You let go of Apollo and took both of Percy's hands.

Your gaze was shining, that made him feel bad for wanting to shake you and wanting to change your mind.

— You know he's not who he once was, Percy— you whispered.

— I know…

— You even said you liked him, brother

— Shhh — the black-haired covered his sister's mouth — if he listens, won't get over it in years

— I heard —  Apollo said between giggles.

Percy pursed his lips.

—Listen, if you do anything to her, I WILL KILL YOU, APOLLO!

—Percy! —His sister shouted.

— I'm going to kill you, I won't forgive you, I KNOW A TITAN-

Poseidon opened his eyes, his sister grabbed him by the neck.

—PERCY! — they both shouted.

Apollo smiled and hugged him.

Poseidon couldn't take it anymore and he was already gone. He promised to have a talk with Apollo.

Percy remained thoughtful, the sun god still hanging around his neck.

—Does that mean you will be Will's stepmother? —He laughed out loud — can't wait to tell Nico.

You and Apollo looked at each other, silently reaching a mutual agreement.

— I think we keep this information for a while.

Percy furrowed his eyebrows and put a hand on his hip. —With those SPIES FROM THERE, I don't think so.

Laughter was heard in the bushes, and around five campers ran when they were discovered.

— Children of Aphrodite. — Percy said, sure of himself —  tomorrow, when we get to Camp Jupiter, all they will know.

You shook your head in amusement.

— Oh, brother. What will become of you when comes the day and tell you that I am expecting a child?

Apollo choked on his own saliva and Percy on his bile. At least you had the last laugh.

[animeomegas]

The Quest for a Second Life - Part 6 - 50 Shades of Audacity (2)

KAKASHI x ALPHA!READER

Summary: An office scandal, the start of your gold digging arc, and a mysterious house in the countryside... It still annoyed you that you had to have a job, but honestly, it could have been worse. This was kind of exciting! GN!Dom!Alpha!Reader x Multiple

Word count: 8.7k

Warnings: N-sfw content, workplace violations, vague discussion of canon specific suicide, playful smacking, playful physical restraint. All alphas have dicks, fyi.

A/N: Hey! We're rapidly reaching the end of this story now! Only one more chapter before the epilogue, crazy! Time has flown. Happy holidays to everyone, especially @omeganronpa who is working so hard, hopefully a break is coming soon 😖 Not much porn in this one, as I'm saving it for the finale. Enjoy~

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Epilogue

Going for a Sunday drive was always a nice way to spend a morning. Well, it wasn’t Sunday and technically you weren’t driving, but the point still stood.

You had your nose basically glued to the window as the unfamiliar city sights bled into an equally unfamiliar, but timeless countryside. Fields, animals, trees, they all rushed past, familiar and new in the same breath. You were pleasantly surprised that this erotica world city didn’t have suburbs; who knew you just had to die to benefit from good city planning?

Kakashi’s fancy car was growing on you too, with its heated seats and spacious leg room, and you couldn’t deny that it was also having an impact on how much you were enjoying this drive. It even had six cupholders. Six. Kakashi didn’t even have that many friends in total, but even having the choice to have six beverages felt like a luxury experience.

Kakashi was also in his fancy car, of course, but he was considerably less interested in the view, and more interested in the paperwork he’d brought along. What a boring place to put one’s attention; you needed to rectify that immediately.

“If you could pick one of your dogs to magically learn English, who would you pick?” His pen not even slowing for a moment, Kakashi answered with no hesitation.

“Anyone but Pakkun.”

Hmm, maybe a harder question would work?

“What’s 472 + 9012?”

“9484.”

Something shocking perhaps?

“Does your pubic hair also defy gravity?”

“No comment.”

Oh, something weird would surely get his attention!

“If I were a worm, would you still love me?”

“No.”

You huffed, sinking down into your heated seat. He hadn’t even paused in the paperwork, so your plan had thoroughly failed. You wondered why Kakashi, a man you’d seen climb out of a window to avoid a work meeting once, was now diligently completing paperwork when he had a good excuse not to. Whatever, he’d probably already procrastinated on it enough that Iruka had threatened him into finishing it. No one ignored direct instructions from Iruka, even though he wasn’t technically high up enough to give instructions at all.

You sighed, turning back to the window to keep yourself amused, acknowledging that you’d lost the battle for Kakashi’s attention to his paperwork. Maybe it was the effect of the car journey, or maybe you were just sappy, but you quickly found yourself reminiscing.

Two weeks ago, you never would have imagined being here with him like this. It was almost difficult to wrap your head around how much your relationship had changed in such a short amount of time, how comfortable you’d both become with each other. Kakashi still took his role as ‘professional nuisance’ seriously of course, revelling in winding you up as what seemed like his main past time and hobby.

He was also still late to meetings, refused to do work, skipped lunch if you didn’t bring it to him… Okay, so maybe not that much had changed. But hey, you kissed frequently now, that was new! And your name was also currently the hottest topic in every break room at work.

That very first day after the tryst in Kakashi’s office had to have been your favourite in terms of gossip shockwaves. It had turned out that Kakashi did have another spare shirt for you to wear home after both your shirt and his first spare had been ruined, and the next morning, groggy and tired, you grabbed it to wear to work without thinking about what you were doing.

You had known that there was gossip about you and Kakashi leaving work together, but apparently the security guard’s version of events, that you had both come back to work together after hours, you without a shirt, and then locked yourself in his office, was in hot debate. Many refused to believe that terminal bachelor Kakashi Hatake would ever sleep with his secretary. ‘Something out of a bad porn book’, you had heard multiple times. How ironic.

So, when you walked in late, wearing Kakashi’s shirt, you corroborated the security guard’s story and confirmed the rumours all at once.

The break room fell silent the second you walked in, even though it had been filled with loud debate moments before. Everyone turned to look at you. Have you ever lifted a rock and had all the bugs underneath it suddenly freeze? It felt like that.

“Good morning,” you said, shooting everyone a hesitant smile. “Sorry I’m a bit late today.”

You watched as everyone’s eyes flickered from your face, down to your shirt, and then up to your face again. The room was uncomfortably silent.

Suddenly Asuma cheered, and chaos descended on the room. Not everyone seemed as thrilled as Asuma though. Kurenai only sighed and passed Asuma a handful of cash. Anko did the same, but with significantly more swearing and threats towards his delicate parts.

(You would find out later that Asuma had seen the security footage of your interview and had proceeded to make many, many bets that you and Kakashi would be fucking within a week. Because of Kakashi’s ‘no dating’ reputation, you were sure he had raked in a significant amount.)

Iruka’s face went bright red, and he sputtered for a moment before turning around and pretending to organise the mug cupboard. He did not succeed in hiding the small bit of blood now dripping from his nose.

In contrast to Iruka’s not so subtle hiding, Gai came right up to you and thumped you on the back, shouting about youth.

Yamato only stared at you, his already large eyes wider than normal. You weren’t sure what emotion he was embodying, but it was certainly creepy.

Maybe it was best if you just went to your desk?

Just as you turned to leave, Gai had one more final thing to say.

“I hope your love blossoms with intensity!” he said, giving you a thumbs up.

Why did that feel like he was giving you permission to fuck Kakashi?

People did slowly get used to the idea that you and Kakashi were something more than coworkers. It helped that you had lunch together most days, which gave people a chance to get used to seeing you together.

On days where your schedules didn’t align for lunch though, you made a point to grab dinner together. Your favourite by far had been dinner at his penthouse flat. Not only was that the night where you’d first called Kakashi your boyfriend, but it was also the first time you were introduced to his dogs.

It felt strange to be walking through a block of flats that was so fancy. The lobby had looked like something from a 5-star hotel, and you had had to show your ID before the front desk would let you upstairs, even though Kakashi had informed them that you’d be coming. Security reasons, they had said. You wondered what other high-profile people lived here.

Kakashi had the penthouse flat, so his was the only one on the top floor. You exited the lift and were immediately confronted with his front door. It wasn’t quite as big as the door in the library you had chosen his story from, but it was still an impressive size.

If you were being honest, it was a little intimidating.

The intimidation factor was shattered as soon as you knocked on the door however, because the second your fist made contact with the wood, a cacophony of barking sounded from the other side.

“Yes, yes, I’m going, you can stop barking.” You could faintly hear Kakashi’s voice through the door. “Bisuke! Get off there!”

The barking still continued.

“Sit, sit. All of you sit! I mean it, or you won’t be getting any treats today.”

Slowly, the barking and the sound of claws clacking ceased, and suddenly the door was pulled open. Standing there, in all his homey glory, was Kakashi.

You were used to seeing him exclusively dressed in suits, but he was wearing lounge clothes. Lounge clothes! Uptight, always ready for a fancy restaurant Kakashi, was wearing a grey tracksuit, with a long-sleeved top in dark blue, and fluffy slippers.

A smile grew on your face; perhaps you were biased, but these suited him a lot more. They still looked expensive, but they were just so much cosier than his normal get up. It made you want to hug him. You resisted for a moment before remembering what world you were in and what the point of this whole second life thing was, and then your resistance crumbled into nothing.

You threw yourself at him for a hug.

“Oof.” Kakashi floundered in surprise for a moment, but when you didn’t let go, he tentatively patted you on the back. You giggled and squeezed him harder, burying your face into his neck.

There were no scent patches! He wasn’t wearing scent patches! Giddy, you took a deep breath of his scent, letting it fill and sit in your lungs. Yes, he smelt utterly delicious.

Kakashi put his hands on your upper arms and gently tugged you away from him. His face was bright red. You could almost see steam coming out of his ears. You laughed at him but decided to show mercy and not tease him over his obvious bashfulness. You instead turned your attention to his dogs.

They were all sitting together to your right, tails wagging furiously. You could tell that if they had been any less well trained, they’d have been jumping all over you.

You opened your bag and pulled out a little something that you’d brought to make sure they liked you. When the dogs caught sight of the McDonald’s bag, their excitement obviously got too much to contain, because they all ran over to your feet, a couple jumping up at you, a couple barking, all looking eager to get their hands on the carroty goodness.

Kakashi, although you could tell he was amused, stepped in to corral his little gremlins. God, he was such a dog dad.

You had received copious wet kisses that day, mostly from the dogs, but also from a sappy Kakashi who had seemed utterly thrilled that you and his dogs got along.

You had had to make and study flash cards to remember all his dogs’ names, but Kakashi’s genuine smile as he watched you interact with them made it all worth it.

You had also met Charlie, Kakashi’s personal chef that evening.

The presence of his personal chef didn’t surprise you. What surprised you was when said chef made dinner for the dogs and then immediately left, leaving Kakashi to cook for you and him. It was exactly that abrupt, and you had laughed until you cried. Of course, he hired a personal chef just for his dogs. He spoilt them rotten.

You were sceptical as to how much skill he would have in the kitchen, but he produced a delicious meal with little trouble. It made you warm that Kakashi was so enthusiastic about cooking dinner you.

Cooking wasn’t the only way he was spoiling you though; he seemed incredibly willing to flash his cash for you, much to your delight.

“Have you considered a top hat?” you asked, picking up the worst top hat you’d ever seen and holding it up as a suggestion. Kakashi gave you a flat look. “What? If this Autumn Company Party thing is so important, you need to make an impression, and this hat would certainly make an impression!”

“I don’t want to make the kind of impression that has my board of directors attempting to oust me from the company.” He took the hat and placed it back on the rack.

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes. “If you didn’t want my fashion advice, why did you even bring me along to pick your outfit? I could have just waited in the car.”

The attendant that was serving you walked back into the room with a selection of ties based on Kakashi’s preferences. He laid them out on the stool for him to peruse. He had already witnessed a great deal of your banter, but if he was surprised by it, then he was too professional to let that show.

“You’re my personal assistant.”

You flicked the tie he was currently wearing up into his face. “That doesn’t mean I need to watch you pick out ties, asshole.”

Kakashi flicked you on the forehead in turn, rolling his eyes as he always did. “No, I mean that you’ll have to attend the party with me, and I figured you would need a new outfit. As you said, it’s important to make an impression, especially as this will be your debut of sorts.”

You snorted, pulling at one of the price tags of a nearby shirt. “Not in here, thanks. Just reading these numbers is making my bank account cry, I can’t imagine what buying them would do to it.”

Kakashi watched you for a moment, before he stuck his hand into his pocket. Out came his wallet.

‘James? Is what I think is happening, actually happening?’

‘I believe you are about to reach a major milestone in your goal to become a ‘gold digger’, human. My soul is warmed by your success, may it be prosperous and eternal.’

‘Thanks, James, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.’

Just as you predicted, Kakashi slipped his card out from his wallet and handed it to you. “Buy whatever you need, I can’t have my assistant looking shabby now, can I?”

You could imagine this scene in other stories, stories where you weren’t the lead. The MC would decline, either out of bashfulness or a sense of pride. Kakashi would probably then insist, and maybe MC would feel obliged to agree, but they would slip outside and purchase the outfit from a cheaper shop down the road to make a point. And then Kakashi would swoon because MC is ‘not like other alphas’.

You were the lead in this story though, so you took the card immediately, grinning from ear to ear.

“Fuck yes,” you said under your breath. Kakashi snorted, but he looked amused, not offended, by the way you were treating his money. “I’m going to dress up like royalty.”

You scurried off into your preferred section of the shop, Kakashi’s card clutched tightly in your grasp. You eagerly rifled through the racks. At several moments, you got the feeling that you were being watched, but whenever you looked back, Kakashi was fully focused on shopping. Maybe you were imagining it?

The Autumn Company Party had been coming up a lot. It was clearly the climax of the plot, but unlike Itachi’s story, you weren’t really sure what the plot was. James had no idea what would be happening at the party either, just that something would happen, and whatever that something was, it was heavily influenced by your actions. You had originally been apprehensive, but you figured that for a porn story, it couldn’t be anything too bad, so you focused on your excitement about attending such a fancy work party. You’d bet the hors d’oeuvres were going to change your life.

(You were confident because you had been the one in charge of choosing the catering company and the menu. Your job was pretty fun at times, even if your true career calling was independently wealthy.)

In between the planning for the party, your physical relationship with Kakashi had also developed over the last fortnight.

“You’re needy tonight,” you teased, curling your fingers just right. Kakashi shivered.

“On the contrary, you need to shut up.”

You tutted, “That wasn’t your best work.”

“Forgive me; I’m a little preoccupied.” You took that as an invitation to press at his prostate as hard as you could. Kakashi face screwed up in pleasure, and he made no more comments.

“Wow, who knew that you had an off switch this whole time? If I’d had known this little bundle of nerves had such an effect, my interview would have gone very differently.”

“The more time I spend with you, the less I’m surprised that you were single when we met.”

“Asshole.”

That had been during his first visit to your flat. You had the strange impression that he felt more comfortable in your home than his own, for some reason. Regardless, that night was the first time you’d gone all the way.

“Are you ready?” you asked, kissing on his collar bones to distract yourself from his tight warmth, and how much you really wanted to move.

“I was ready ten minutes ago. I’m not going to break the second you put any pressure on me, or in me, as it were.” Kakashi purposely clenched around you causing you to hiss. “Get on with it.”

You pulled away and narrowed your eyes at him. He only raised an eyebrow in response. Fine, if he wanted it rough, you’d give it to him rough.

…

“Fuck, I’m tired,” you said, flopping back onto the bed, exhausted. Kakashi looked much the same, panting hard from exertion.  

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” he replied.

“…”

“…”

“Second round in the shower?”

“Obviously.”

Now that had been a fun night. Your activities didn’t stay exclusively in the bedroom though. You had quickly found that not only did Kakashi like it when you took control in social situations, like ordering for him at restaurants, he also liked it when you lightly teased him in public.

Nothing too extreme, of course, as there was a chance that such a thing would literally end up in the news if you were caught, but you had both made a game of seeing how many dirty messages you could hide in the other’s paperwork. You were winning, although the scores were close.

You were so glad that Kakashi’s morning meeting was being held in one of the rooms made entirely of glass. It meant that, although you weren’t in the meeting, you still had a prime view to Kakashi’s reaction when he inevitably found the note you had hidden in his folder.

You watched as Kakashi continued his speech to the board of directors, reaching for his folder to check something.

Oh, there, he was opening his folder!

The cover flipped open and Kakashi froze for only a moment, before he continued like nothing had happened.

You were impressed by his ability to keep his cool, you had to admit, but you still noticed the way his hand shook ever so slightly, as he snuck the note out of the folder and into his pocket without anyone noticing.

When the meeting finished, Kakashi walked straight back over to you, dropping the note in question on your desk.

“You’re incorrigible.” There was the slightest pink to his cheeks.

“So, you don’t want a rimjob?”

Kakashi gave you one of his signature flat looks, although the pink tinge ruined it somewhat, and wordlessly walked into his office, leaving you fruitlessly supressing your cackles.

To sum it up, you really liked him, and it was clear that he really liked you. You had seen his home, met his dogs, eaten his food, and seen flashes of the complexity bubbling just below Kakashi’s purposefully distant exterior.

In a moment of surprising seriousness, Gai had vigorously shaken your hand yesterday and told you that he’d never seen Kakashi as light and happy as he’d been these last few weeks. It was nice to hear.

You still didn’t like the fact that you had to work, but again, the job could have been a lot worse, and you were playing the long game. Technically, you were working right now, but Kakashi had asked you to accompany him on a mini road trip into the surrounding countryside. The days where Kakashi took you with him out of the office were your favourite, but today something was off. You had tired to write off Kakashi’s out of character behaviour as him just having an off day, but there was something about it that was really putting you on edge.

It was like he was trying to distract himself with the paperwork. You wondered if this meant his backstory reveal was coming up. Itachi had started behaving strangely when his worries about you rejecting him for his past were about to make themselves known. Maybe Kakashi’s backstory had something to do with where you were going.

Apparently, you were going to visit a house. Kakashi had mentioned that one of his properties (one of them, pfft, rich kid) required some maintenance. According to him, the roof had been damaged in a storm a few weeks earlier, and he needed to prepare the house for the builders to carry out repairs. Kakashi had described your tasks as mainly including clearing space for scaffolding, cleaning and packing away the breakables in the main rooms, and plugging in the fridge so the builders could store their lunches and have milk for beverages.

They didn’t seem like the kind of tasks that would cause a significant amount of stress. If he was doing things like packing away valuables and plugging in the fridge, it was probably a place he lived, rather than a rental or something. Maybe it was a summer home? You supposed that Kakashi was a very private person, so maybe he was on edge at the thought of having a load of strangers in his house without supervision.

Hmm, that sounded too simple for this universe though. You were due a backstory exposition scene, and maybe you spent too much time reading erotica, but this felt like it had ‘tragic backstory incoming’ written all over it.

“So, this place we’re going… is it a summer home? Oh! Or a summer estate? Is it a mansion? Does it have a pool, and can I use it?”

Kakashi didn’t take the obvious banter bait, he just kept his head down and continued signing documents, providing a short, factual answer.

“It’s none of those things, nor does it have a pool.”

“Aww.” You tried to play up your sadness with a pout. “I was excited.”

“Doesn’t your complex have a swimming pool?”

“I mean, yeah, technically, but this would be a private swimming pool, that’s way better.”

Kakashi chuckled, but his heart didn’t seem in it. You put a hand on his knee and squeezed. He looked surprised for a moment, before his face melted into something softer. He took the hand in his and gave it a squeeze in return.

“If it makes you feel better, the property does have a habitat for racing pigeons.”

“Wha—Really?!”

“No.”

“…”

“…”

“I hate you so much.”

…

As the car turned off the main road, you pressed your face back against the window to ooh and ahh at the sights. The road was less maintained and significantly bumpier, but you didn’t let the risk of a concussion stop you from your sightseeing.

There were bushes and flowers and pretty trees lining each edge of the road, and one more turn had you going down what looked like a private road, or dare you say it, a driveway. At this point, you were kind of expecting a mansion, no matter what Kakashi said. What other homes had long private roads? Unless it was some kind of farmhouse? You couldn’t imagine Kakashi owning a farm, but his name did mean scarecrow, so perhaps he’d purchased it as a joke? Did rich people buy property for jokes?

As the car slowly turned one last time, the house in question crept into view. It was neither a farmhouse nor a summer estate. No, it was a traditional, single story, Japanese minka house, set amongst a beautiful and equally traditional garden, framed by beautiful trees, all of which were orange and red and practically screamed Autumn.

The house was large, but not excessively so. At a glance, you would assume it had three to four bedrooms. The roof was sloped and covered in worn shingles, stretching out to shelter the sprawling engawa. Wood and stone materials were used heavily in the walls and decorations, and lamps hung from both sides of the front door. It was beautiful.

You were out of the car the second it stopped.

Now that you were walking up to it, you could see the stone pathways, the koi pond, the sliding glass door at the side, and the shutters on the windows. It was a minka house, but it had clearly been modernised.

You heard the sound of two car doors opening and closing and figured that Kakashi and his chauffeur had joined you in front of the house.

“This is completely gorgeous! I’ve never seen a modernised minka house before. If it’s not a summer home, what is it for?” There was no response, so you turned, breaking eye contact with the beautiful house to search for him. “Kakashi?”

He was standing a few paces behind you, just staring at the house in silence.

“Kakashi—”

“Let’s get everything out of the car,” he mumbled, cutting you off and turning away from the house.

“Kakashi—”

“There isn’t that much; we could probably carry it all in in one trip.”

His tone made it clear that he wasn’t interested in answering your question. You trusted that the narrative would push you into finding out what was wrong when the time was right, so for now, you broke the trance the house had on you, and helped to unpack the boot.

The supplies in the boot took the form of cleaning products, empty boxes, and a few bags of groceries and kitchen supplies. Between the three of you, it was light work, and soon everything was resting on the engawa, ready to be moved inside.

Having other duties to attend to, the chauffeur took his leave once everything was out of the car, leaving you and Kakashi standing in front of the house, side by side. You awkwardly waited for him to unlock the door, but he didn’t seem interested in moving.

You cleared your throat, “Um, should we go in?”

Kakashi jolted like a doll suddenly coming to life and fished the key out of his pocket. He unlocked it, and the door swung open, creaking all the while.

“WD-40 who? This house doesn’t know her.”

He sighed, “Just go inside.”

“Alright, spoil sport.”

Kakashi held open the door and you went inside, slipping off your shoes in the entrance.

Inside, the house was… confusing.

Your eyes darted left and right, trying to understand what you were looking at. It was traditional but modernised with new appliances, not strange considering the outside of the house, but it looked distinctly like it had been modernised at least two decades ago. It was immaculately tidy, not single object out of place, and yet the entire thing was covered in a thick layer of dust. To make things more confusing, it looked lived it, personal, with clutter and photos, but it had an overwhelming air of abandonment.

As you said, it was confusing. Vibe check thoroughly failed.

“It’s… nice?” you said, hoping you could force your voice into something sincere. “Traditional modern vintage? Troderage? Vinadern? Whatever it is, it’s interesting, and I—”

Kakashi cut you off by placing a finger on your lips. He looked amused and exasperated all at the same time. You went cross eyed trying to look at the offending finger, which only seemed to amuse him more.

“You don’t have to find something nice to say, I’m aware that it’s seen better days.”

You went to bite his finger, so he tugged it away, leaving you to snap unsatisfyingly at empty air “Hey, I’m not lying! I like it, it has potential! And potential is the more important thing for a property in my opinion. Like, sure, you could buy one of those awful modern renovated homes with no personality, but if I wanted to live in a white monastery, I’d just—”

Kakashi took one of the masks he’d brought and pressed it over your mouth and then stretched the elastic over your ears to keep it in place, effectively cutting you off once again.

“You know I can still talk through these, right?” you asked, voice slightly muffled, but still clearly understandable. He passed you a dusting cloth and a bottle of unidentified cleaning spray.

“Just… clean. I’ll carry the boxes through and start packing, okay?”

“You’re not the boss of— Oh.” That’s right, he was literally our boss. Good job this was a porn world, because you had a feeling that real world HR wouldn’t approve.

You were rewarded with another one of his eyes smiles as he snapped his own mask into place. “Chop chop, dear assistant of mine.”

Ugh, fine, whatever. Kakashi went back out to the engawa, and you decided to start by dusting the mantel place. If you dusted the photos and ornaments first, which practically covered the mantel place, Kakashi could get started with packing them up.

You started at the left end and grabbed the first picture. Confusingly, it had been laying face down. You hesitated, wondering if it was something Kakashi explicitly didn’t want you to see. You felt drawn to it though. Was that just you being nosy, or was this some kind of hint from your porn logic overlords? Was it moral for you to look when—Too late you already grabbed it and flipped it over.

Philosophising took too long.

It was a photo of two people, obviously a father and son, sitting in the garden you’d just walked through. The sun was shining, and both people were covered in mud, clearly having just finished some gardening. It was a sweet picture, but more importantly you recognised the two people from your google searches.

It was a photo of a young Kakashi and his father. This was his—

A hand tugged the photo out of your hand. Kakashi.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think—”

“It’s fine.” His voice was short, but at least he didn’t sound angry.

“This was your family home, wasn’t it?” you asked softly.

Kakashi sighed, turning away from you to put the photo in one of the boxes. “In a way. Although I haven’t lived here since I was four.”

You put a comforting hand on his shoulder, wondering if this was where you were going to find out about Kakashi’s angst. The death of his father had definitely made an impact on him, but you had a suspicion that there was something more to his angst than that.

Kakashi looked as tightly coiled as a spring, though. You decided to wait until he was more relaxed before you tried coaxing his backstory out of him. Some cleaning would get his mind off things.

“Let’s start with the dusting!” you said, artificially injecting some chipperness into the conversation. You saw Kakashi’s shoulders lift as you stopped prying into his backstory. “You should be careful though.” Hook.

Kakashi looked confused. “What? Why?” Line.

“Because we won’t be able to tell if it gets in your hair, old man.” And Sinker.

Kakashi scowled and threw a dusting cloth at your face.

…

Kakashi warmed up again as you worked. It seemed to help him, having a job to focus on, and of course, you were doing your best to keep his spirits high as well.

And honestly, all the cleaning and mood management was well worth it to see his baby pictures! He didn’t have parents to show you, so you were taking it into your own hands. You avoided bringing attention to any that also contained his father, but there was still plenty to work with.

You squealed, pulling a photo of a tiny, grumpy Kakashi holding a freshly caught fish off the wall to dust. “Look how cute you were! You know how to fish? I’ll be honest, I didn’t imagine that as one of your skills.”

“Will you stop—” Kakashi said, plucking the picture from your hands and hanging back on the wall. “Do you have to put effort into being so nosy, or is it a natural born talent?”

“Completely natural.” You grinned and grabbed the photo back, giving it a quick dust and then putting it in the box of valuables, cooing all the while.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but you could see the pink dusting his ears.

“Hey, here’s a question.”

“Can’t you just dust?”

“Why was the outside of the house so immaculate, when the inside looks like it hasn’t been touched in a decade?” you asked, taping up one box and grabbing another empty one.

“I hire a groundskeeper for the outside, but I personally clean the inside.”

Your face spoke for itself as you looked around the room, still half-covered in dust. Kakashi sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “I haven’t done it for a couple of years, I admit.”

You laughed, grabbing the next photo to dust. It was another one of just Kakashi, although this time he was sitting behind a dog-shaped birthday cake, scowling at the camera.

“Did you ever smile?” you asked, holding up the photo. “Even now you don’t seem much better at it, always stone faced or rolling your eyes, do I have to teach you?”

You slid the photo under your arm so that your hands were free to push up Kakashi’s cheeks into a faux smile. You managed to hold his cheeks in a forced smile for a second, before Kakashi smacked your hands away, scowling. You sent him a cheeky grin, but he only yanked the photo out from under your arm and bent down to pack it away in a box.

What you did next, could hardly be held against you. You mean, it was right there, in all its glory: Kakashi’s toned but ample butt.

You pinched it.

Kakashi jumped before immediately standing and whirling around to face you. Your grin froze on your face as you noticed something intense flashing in his eyes, the kind of intense that promised revenge.

Oh, fuck.

You broke into a desperate run away from Kakashi, but he immediately gave chase. You ran around the coffee table and into the kitchen, thunderous footsteps sounding behind you. Your heart pounded and some hysterical giggles escaped as you ran through the second door in the kitchen, grateful that it wasn’t a dead end.

“Stop running and accept your fate!” Kakashi called from somewhere behind you.

“You’ll never take me alive!”

You ended up back in the living room, but you managed to catch Kakashi in a stalemate, with you standing behind the couch, and him standing in front of it. Every time he darted around one way, you went the other. You both stared at each other, watching for even the slightest hint of movement.

“If you give up now, I promise the punishment won’t be so bad,” Kakashi said with an unfairly attractive lilt.

“If you think I’m going to give in, then you’re as senile as the grey hair suggests, old man.” To further make your point, you gave him the middle finger. You weren’t really sure how this was going to end, because he would inevitably catch you, even if only because you arrived in his car, but you weren’t a quitter and you certainly didn’t surrender!

Kakashi chuckled, and then in a second, his whole body shot forward and the man leapt over the sofa towards you. You shrieked and continued running. Adrenaline pumping, you automatically ran towards the front door.

Unfortunately, all it took was one moment of weakness. There, in the doorway, you suddenly realised that you weren’t wearing shoes. You hesitated for only a moment, but that was all it took for Kakashi to catch up with you.

“Hidden technique: One Thousand Years of Death!”

There, in the doorway of Kakashi’s childhood home, you let out an ungodly screech as Kakashi’s fingers jabbed you in a place that you really didn’t want to be jabbed.

Your back arched and your butt cheeks clenched.

“You bastard!” you screamed, turning around to smack Kakashi’s chest. He was dying laughing, happily taking your smacks. “That wasn’t funny!”

“It was very funny,” Kakashi disagreed, moving backwards to dodge your smacks. “Although maybe not for the local wildlife; I think they might be traumatised after that screech.”

You huffed, gingerly rubbing your backside as you followed him back into the living room. “You know, you are completely and utterly— Woah!”

Midsentence, because this world was ridiculous, you slipped on a section of wet floor that you were 100% sure you had already dried. There was a split second of relief where Kakashi managed to catch you, before he also slipped on the floor, and both of you went crashing to the ground.

Kakashi hit the ground first, laying on his back, and you quickly followed, landing on top of him. Kakashi let out an oof noise as you knocked the air from his lungs.

It was the exact same thing as had happened with Itachi, except you were the one on top this time. Porn logic was just running out of ideas you thought, bitter at having been tripped on a wet floor that you had already dried.

‘Careful human,’ James interjected. ‘You do not wish you issue a challenge to porn logic, because in my experience, it does not take kindly to such things.’

‘Wait, really? What happens if I issue porn logic a challenge?’

‘The last alpha who did that… well, let’s just say that I doubt their penis was ever the same again.’

You loved porn logic. Porn logic had zero faults and you wanted to kiss it on the mouth, marry it even. It was just perfect in every way.

‘Good save, human.’

‘Thanks, James.’

“Are you going to get off me or are you just going to continue staring into space?” Kakashi’s voice jolted you from your conversation with James and you bashfully cleared your throat.

“Right, yes, of course, but I am going to use your tits as leverage to stand, just saying.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes, which seemed to be his go to response when he was in your presence but didn’t protest your grabbing at his chest.

You put your hands down and gave his chest a little squeeze, ooh, nice and squishy. You were about to push off him and into a standing position, when you felt something that wasn’t so nice and squishy.

In the inside pocket of his jacket was something hard, almost like a small book. Honestly, it wouldn’t have been notable at all if Kakashi hadn’t reacted. You would have assumed it to be some kind of paperwork or light reading, but Kakashi froze, and you’d seen more innocent expressions on kids caught with their hands in cookie jars.

“What’s that?”

“Paperwork.” Kakashi answered far too quickly for you to believe him for even a second.

“Well, if it’s only paperwork, then you won’t mind me having a look.” You grabbed the book out of his pocket, dodging his attempts to stop you. Your weight on top of him was keeping him pinned nicely, and moments later you had the book held triumphantly above your head.

“Now, let’s see,” you hummed, giving the book a look. It was a small yellow book, with large writing ‘Icha Icha’ over the top. The 18+ logo on the front was a damning piece of evidence. This was a porn book. How hilariously ironic.

“I can explain—”

“Kakashi!” you said, in a faux scandalised voice.

“I read it for the story!”

You hummed, considering his story, like a judge. Kakashi stared up at you, trying his best to be the picture of pure innocence, pleading with you to end the interrogation.

Obviously, you had no choice but to push things further.

“Well, I can understand that!” you said, chipper as ever.

Kakashi blinked, “You can? I mean, you can. Great, so if you could just give it back—"

“If the story is as good as you say it is, then I would love to give it a look!” Any hope that had started to bloom on Kakashi’s face died as soon as he registered your words. He tried to sit up, presumably to wrestle the book from you, but you used a knee to hold his chest to the ground. “Now, now, you wouldn’t be so cruel as to deprive me from such a great story, would you? If it’s good enough for you to be carrying around at work, it must be something special.”

Kakashi made another swipe for the book, but you simply held it above his reach. “I hate you. I hate you so much.”

“No, you don’t! Now, let’s see…” You flicked to a random page. “This page looks like a good place to start.” You cleared your throat. When it became obvious that you were about to do a dramatic reading, Kakashi groaned.

“You’re ridiculous, completely ridiculous. I should sue you for assault and theft.”

You ignored him, scanning the page. A feral grin blossomed on your face; it was perfect.

“Elisabeth grinned down at Makoto, hunger and lust warring for dominance in her eyes, reflecting the real life battle that Makoto had just lost. Makoto wondered what it would be like to have her mouth on his—” you gasped, clutching imaginary pearls. “Oh my, Kakashi, what are you reading?”

“I’m reporting you to HR.”

“Oh? And this” -you shifted your hips against his, watching as Kakashi hissed at the pressure on his rapidly rising cock- “is going to end up in the report too, I presume?”

Kakashi had no comment to make, but his rosy cheeks spoke loud and clear. You took that as an invitation to carry on reading. You skipped a few paragraphs to get to the really juicy bits.

“Elisabeth wrapped her hands around Makoto’s neck in a gentle mockery of a collar. Makoto bit his lip, overwhelmed by the imagery. He wanted her to own him, mind, body, and soul. But first, he needed his punishment. A punishment? How exciting! Do you remember what punishment Elisabeth is going to give to Makoto, Kakashi?” You rolled your hips again, delighting in the pleasured grunt you forced from him. Kakashi shook his head as a negative to your question, something you didn’t believe for one moment; the book was clearly well loved and had been read many times before.

You leant down over his pink face and gave him a chaste kiss. You saw his arms move and for a moment you assumed that he was going for the book, but he merely settled his arms on your hips before pushing his crotch up into yours. You hummed and kissed him again. He was such a brat.

“Makoto was forced to kneel at her feet. It was with eagerness that he anticipated the crack of her whips against his skin. He had been bad, he knew that, so he accepted his punishment with grace and also a raging boner. Ah, I see what you’re into. And just when I didn’t think you could be more cliché, the CEO is into BDSM.”

“And how many porn books are you reading to know that it’s cliché?”

“Change the subject all you want; you were the one caught with your proverbial trousers down.” Kakashi rolled his eyes. He seemed to have recovered from the minor embarrassment, because the light dusting of pink didn’t get any worse. You guessed it took more than that to embarrass someone who apparently caried porn around in their pocket of their work clothes. “Okay, okay, one more and then we can keep cleaning.”

You flipped through the book, trying for find the right scene to end it on. Hmm… Maybe you should let porn logic choose? It would probably know exactly what page to pick. You closed your eyes.

‘Porn logic, choose the page that will get the best reaction from Kakashi please!’

You flicked through the pages until you felt the overwhelming urge to stop, at which point you clamped your thumb down. You had landed on page 154.

To your immediate confusion, it didn’t look like it had any porn on it at all. It looked like it was just a sappy conversation between Elizabeth and Makoto. You debated picking another one, but after James’ warning about pissing off the porn logic, you decided to just trust it.

“Elisabeth, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say to you for a while, something important,” you read out loud. Kakashi let out a strangled noise as he realised what page you were on. His lightly pink face quickly deepened into an impressive red. Oh. So that’s how this was going to go.

“Fine, you win, can I have my book back now because—”

“What is it, Makoto? What could be so important that you called me here at this time?”

Kakashi whined, pressing his hands to his face. You had never seen him act like this before. You watched, fascinated, as you continued to read.

“Elisabeth… With all my heart, deeply and truly, I love you.”

Those final words were enough for Kakashi, because he easily broke out of your hold, knocking you off of him and onto the living room floor. Now free, he turned over onto his front and buried his face into his arms. You could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

It was as unexpected as it was adorable. You hoped this wonderful omega never stopped surprising you in the best way.

“Aww, Kakashi, I’m sorry,” you cooed, rubbing his back. “It’s okay to be a sap at heart, I won’t tell anyone! I want to keep this cute side of you to myself.”

Kakashi took a shaky breath before pushing himself into a sitting position. He was still bright red. “You are…”

“Are…?”

Kakashi gave you one of his eye smiles, reached out with a hand, and firmly flicked you on the forehead. “Annoying.”

It was such a weak attempt to restart the banter on a equal standing that you couldn’t hold your laughter in.

“You’re so pathetic,” you laughed, clutching at your stomach. “I love it.”

“So are you,” Kakashi said, pouting.

“I know, that’s why we’re perfect together!”

Slowly, Kakashi started to laugh too, joining your hysteria on the living room floor of his childhood home. You were leaning on each other, just completely lost in a weird joke that only you two could understand.

What a team you made. You really liked Kakashi. Honestly, you could say that you loved him at this point. He was just so fun to be around, fun to tease, fun to bite, everything. Being around him made you feel alive, and having money for everything you could ever need was only adding to how relaxed you had been feeling the whole time in this dimension.

You could see a very happy life here. You didn’t know if it was fortunate or unfortunate that you saw an equally happy life with Itachi. Your laughter petered out as you considered the impossible choice you were going to have to make.

The knowledge that no other person would ever enter this universe if you didn’t stay only made you feel guiltier. Was it worse to leave Kakashi alone forever, but with his money and friends, or leave Itachi with the possibility of another great love, but an equal possibility of being forced to settle with some awful person who just happened to die early and choose him?

You sighed, trying to put such heavy thoughts out of your mind for now.

Kakashi was watching you, a soft look on his face. His mask had slipped off at some point during the chase, so you could see his face unhindered. He was just watching you in silence.

You reached out a hand to cup his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I am,” he said, still staring at you like you were the centre of his world. “It’s just… it’s been a long time since there was laughter in this house.”

“I bet.” You smiled sadly and pressed a kiss to his forehead. His backstory was so sad that whenever you thought about it for too long, it hurt your heart. It had been easier to read at first, when he had just been some nebulous, kind of dickish, person on a Wikipedia page, but now he was Kakashi, your Kakashi… It hurt to imagine him suffering.

His father had committed suicide when he was only four, and then Kakashi had been raised by custodians, forced into business from a ridiculously early age, and then been betrayed by those who were supposed to look after him as soon as he came of age.

“Kakashi? Can I ask you a question?”

“You? Of course. Always.”

“Do you…” You struggled for a moment, thinking about how best to phrase the question. “Do you enjoy your work? Do you like business? Because from what I understand, you didn’t really get much of a choice.”

Kakashi seemed baffled that you would ask such a question. His mouth opened, but no sound came out.

“I… like my job,” he said, entirely unconvincingly.

“What do you like about it?”

He didn’t answer. That didn’t surprise you.

“Did you ever get a chance to follow your own dreams?”

Kakashi blinked at you, looking lost. He swallowed heavily. You rubbed your thumb on his cheek to try and comfort him. You understood that for someone who had never been given a choice, your question might have been quite jarring.

“What are your dreams, Kakashi?”

He stared at you and shook his head, still silent.

“You don’t know?” You pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “It’s never too late to make dreams, Kakashi, remember that.”

“If you say so,” he said, trying and failing to keep a light-hearted tone. “We need to keep cleaning, you know, we’re burning daylight.”

You allowed the heavy-handed topic change to slid by without acknowledgment. “You’re right, come on, let’s get up. You’re buying me dinner tonight, by the way, as thanks for all this cleaning.”

He rolled his eyes, standing. “Fine, but I’m picking the restaurant, and I want it delivered.”

“Sounds good to me!”

…

You yawned, gratefully climbing into bed. This MC had invested in expensive sheets, and honestly you loved them for it. There was no better way to end a tiring workday than climbing into bed.

You couldn’t wait to either reject society and run off into the woods with Itachi or have a full-time profession as Kakashi’s eccentric trophy spouse. Work sucked.

You closed your eyes, and just as you were starting to drift off, your phone started to ring. Ugh.

You forced yourself awake. Your fake family and friends hadn’t even been invented yet, and you were already being bothered. You squinted at the caller ID. Oh, it was Kakashi. That was weird; he wasn’t a phone call person.

You answered the phone. “Hello? Kakashi? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I’m sorry for calling you.” His voice sounded strange. It was softer than usual, like his head was off in the clouds.

“That’s okay.” You waited for an explanation of his call, but none came. “Did you need something?”

“Yes, I… I was thinking about the Autumn Company Party and I…”

“Yes?”

“Do you think…” He stopped talking again. Something was off.

“Kakashi, you’re freaking me out. Please tell me what’s wrong?”

There was a pause. “Nothing, I’m sorry, I’m fine. Goodnight.”

“Kakashi—” You couldn’t get any more words out before he hung up the phone.

You sat there in bed, staring down at your call log, confused.

What on Earth had that been about?

Next chapter

[fuckyeahizzyhands]

Con O'Neill interview with Awards Radar's Steven Prusakowski 😭😭😭❤❤❤

SP: Busy time of year, but, you know, starting to slow down in just enough to hang out with the family and do all the cooking for, like 48 hours and then.

Con: Are you the main cook in the house?

SP: I am the main cook.

Con: Yeah. So am I. I love it.

SP: I love it, too.

Con: It's my go to place.

SP: Yeah.

Con: Because when I left school, I trained to be a chef.

SP: Oh, wow.

Con: Briefly. Another story.Okay, let's rock and roll.

SP: Well, that passion never leaves you, I think. I think once you start, especially when someone enjoys and says, hey, I really liked your food.I hear from my daughter's friends or their parents, she loved your pasta or whatever it was, I'm like, okay, now I'm...

Con: It's the best feeling, isn't it?

SP: It is. It's wonderful.

Con: And just that kind of inherent, nurturing thing of just going into the kitchen empty handed and coming out with a meal for people is really rewarding. And I love it. It's intoxicating. I absolutely love it.

SP: Same here.

Con: Because I travel so much, I don't always get a place with a kitchen. And that's why I always try and get an apartment when I'm filming because it just gives me a place to be in my head that isn't about work.

SP: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can talk cooking forever, but-

Con: But we should.

SP: I know we're short on time and I have a ton of questions and I won't get to all of them. So let's just jump into the series and maybe we could pick it back up. Sorry to interrupt, but I love the series. I love your character and your performance.

Con: Thank you.

SP: It's a stellar, and there's so much to Izzy that we see on the surface, but there's so much more to him beneath. How was this character originally pitched you and what did you initially want to bring to him?

Con: The thing about this character was he wasn't in the pilot. So when I spoke to David about it, there was nothing written. So he explained it in very broad terms. But then I quite like specifics when I'm choosing projects. And kind of... he brought up Salieri from Amadeus, and I really hooked into that. Now, I don't know whether we went that way with it in the end, but it was a really good hook for me because Salieri is that guy with a mission who is on the surface wanting, but is underneath something else. And I think initially, Izzy was that, but then we exploded him in several other ways and Salieri diminished to something else. But it was a good hook for me

initially to get in by thinking about Salieri.

SP: Yeah, I like it. I could see that for sure. And to start the season two. So going into that, he's a shadow of himself from this feared, intense, strong man to a broken man. And what was it like taking this character and exposing that humanity and starting to peel away some of that shield.

Con: I mean... David had spoken to me before we started shooting and explained most of the hulk to me, and I'd always played Izzy as a man who was in love but didn't know he was in love. And for me, the key into this season was a. the design, but more importantly, was the Taika's performance. To see a man that I love to be that broken and to be that vicious because of the heartbreak, it was profound for me to see what he did with Blackbeard, and it did break my heart a little bit. So the emotional journey was quite clear that at the end of the day, all hatred of Stede had left him, and all he wanted to do is fix Blackbeard, and he risks his life to do that. He literally puts himself on the line for that because, like always. And what I loved about what David and the writers did was they didn't remove Izzy from season one in season two, he's still there. And what Izzy does is about the crew. He puts his life on the line because Blackbeard is killing his crew, and he risks it all for that. But it breaks him seeing the the man he loves so fragile and broken and angry, it breaks him. So, It wasn't an easy job. It was quite a lonely job. It was quite a difficult job because it was going down that path that I knew inevitably we were going to go down. But I thought it was beautifully written. So most of what I needed to do was on the page, to be honest-

SP: -I'm sorry-

Con: I just had to throw myself into it.

SP: Excellent. And then with Izzy being broken and literally broken, he loses his leg, which is symbolic of much more. It leads to one of the most touching moments of the series, a note with four words: For The New Unicorn. What did that mean to you, and what does that mean to the character?

Con: You know, I've been talking a lot last couple of days - because I'm allowed to now - and, you know, this season is about Izzy coming out. In many ways, he comes out, but that moment, that rest, that beautiful piece of writing again, the writing, where the crew embrace him, and it just releases him. It releases him from his own concept of who he is. It releases him from his own concept of who he has to

be to be a first mate and a brilliant first mate. It released him of concept that he's alone. None of this would have been possible to Izzy pre season one, none of it. And in many ways, it's Stede that brings this into his life. Because before Stede, Izzy never thought of his relationship with Blackbeard as a loving relationship. He never thought of it as being in love. He only realizes he's in love with Blackbeard when he sees Blackbeard lose Stede. That's the only... The reveal is he's heartbroken because the man he loves is broken, and he doesn't know what to do with any of that. He's not emotionally capable. And the crew giving him the letter and calling him the new unicorn and releasing him from all the stuff that he'd done, all that pain that he'd suffered and anger that he'd raged upon them, it's a really accepting moment. So... yeah, I'm waffling a bit now, but it meant a lot, and it was a very beautiful moment to play. And I thought Andy, who directed it, directed it so...Andy was a real shoulder for me to lean on in those scenes, because a lot of those early scenes I'm shooting on my own. And it's quite difficult to play an emotional narrative when you're on your own, because it tends to just be one tone. And he was wonderful, and Alyssa and Alex and all. They were all wonderful in helping me gauge those moments, as were the rest of the cast. But, yeah, that moment touched me enormously.

SP: You know, you have this love triangle that is never really spoken, but it's there.

Con: Yeah

SP: Then it kind of shifts - it's almost like a love square. It's Ed, Blackbeard, Izzy and Stede. And where the love, you know, crosses, it's all... or the hatred is at sometimes, but then it evolves...

Con: Absolutely.

SP: It's so complex.

Con: I mean we all're in contemporary language. We always associate love with romance. That isn't the case here. The love that Blackbeard and Izzy have for each other is deep, man. It's deep, and it's rooted in years of working together, loving each other, saving each other's lives, being constant. This is probably the only constant they both had in their lives, is Blackbeard is Izzy, Izzy is Blackbeard, and then they have this buffoon come in and steal Blackbeard's heart. It's not that Blackbeard falls in love with someone else. Blackbeard falls in love with this guy. This Izzy just can't comprehend, and it's a constant. And then once, I think once Blackbeard hands him the gun, everything changes. And Blackbeard says, kill yourself. Everything changes. And then there's an openness to Stede and Blackbeard that brings him to that place of acceptance-

SP: -It's great to watch also. I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Con: No, that. I mean, I'll waffle again. I'll waffle a lot, because that's what I do. But the more I think about that relationship, the more I go down all these different avenues of what it could have been, and what it could never have been, and what it is and what it wasn't. And as you say, it's layered and complex, and I'm honored to have been able to get to play with those actors, and especially with Taika, who's a profoundly good actor - everyone talks about Taika's director and writer - the man's a fucking great actor to work opposite, and he's... he's exquisite. So, yeah, I could only go where I went because the writers and Taika. Really.

SP: That's great. I... of course, we have to touch upon the end of the season and the end of Izzy, unfortunately, which I'm hoping is not. I'm hoping David has something up his sleeve. But what was your reaction when you learned it and how emotional was shooting that final scene? Because that final scene says a lot between...

Con: It was a... listen, I've been around a long time. The writing was on the wall when I started to read the scripts, and David had kind of hinted at it anyway when we went out for the famous dinner where he told me what the plan was, and I was gutted because I loved playing him so much. But, yeah, narratively, yeah, it makes sense. And I have complete faith, respect, love, admiration for David Jenkins, and whatever he thinks or wants to happen in season three will be the right thing if he gets season three, which I, whether I'm involved in it or not, I really hope he gets it, because he deserves it. And the show deserves it. The show deserves its triangle. It deserves it. But, yeah, it took a few days to sink in, and then I was fine. I was incredibly tired by that time. And I was lonely, as... really lonely because I was so far away from home filming all these scenes, and I tended to isolate when I was filming because of the nature of the work. So when I wasn't filming, I was sword training, or I was working out, or I was learning to walk on that fucking leg, or I was whatever whatever whatever. So I found myself isolating a lot. And in a way, it was a relief to be released from it. The final scene David had sent to me several weeks earlier. And I prepped, as I always do, and I prepped and I prepped and we were going to shoot at the beginning of the last week, and then it got shifted to the middle of the last week, and then it got shifted to the morning of the last day, and then it was shifted to the last thing we were going to shoot in the entire season. And there's always a dark cloud around those scenes because you never quite know how it's going to play. And there's a lot of pressure. And it being the last thing we were going to shoot, put more pressure on. And we were on the ship, which is a huge set, hundreds of crew members, the cast, everyone who could possibly be there was there. And I was getting quite unsettled by the amount of cacophony of noise and people. And then we rigged it all up, and it was still just [noise]. And then suddenly it was just me and Taika and just saying goodbye to a character we both fell in love with. And it was... it was a, I'm saying 'profound' a lot, but it was a profound experience doing that scene because everything else disappeared. It was just me and him. It was just Izzy and Blackbeard. And it was a lovely lovely moment.

SP: It was painful, but-

Con: It was lovely to be held by-

SP: -beautiful to watch.

Con: Yeah. Thank you. I mean, it's lovely to be held by another actor just... creatively and likewise with me to him. And David had a playlist playing and it was... elegant to do. It was nice to do. It was a nice, fitting ending to that chapter of this character. And I'll always be grateful that they shot it in that way.

SP: I do have to wrap. I just want to say before we do, I really enjoyed your rendition of La Vie En Rose. fantastic.

Con: Thank you.

SP: That's beautiful. And I appreciate all the work you did in the series, and I hope we see you again. And hopefully maybe you'll have a cooking show too, along the way, because I'd love to see what you make in that kitchen.

Con: Come on and let's bake together. Oh, I can't bake. I'll cook. It's lovely l ovely talking to you, Stephen.

SP: Great talking to you as well. Have a great day.

Con: Thank you. Bye bye.

SP: Thank you.

[suckerfordylansstuff]

New Journey (S.H.) Chapter 8 Season 4

Pairing: Steve Harrington x henderson!reader

Summary: Back to Hawkins for spring break. Y/n believed it would just be a quiet time to cherish with her loved ones, but one day in and another mess had already began.

Warnings: cursing

Notes: I warned you that due to my vacation I was probably going to miss a day or two, but we're back. Sorry for keeping you waiting but here is the new chapter and a sweet moment between our couple. Please enjoy the chapter and stay safe 💕

Chapter 7 << Masterlist >> Chapter 9

Dustin was the one to wake you up in the morning. At first, you couldn’t concentrate, your tiredness easily pulling you back to sleep, but that only lasted for a moment. When the memories of yesterday came back, you couldn’t go back to sleep. You got up and went to check on Nancy. She was already up, sitting on the bed waiting. When you walked in, she looked you in the eye and you knew this was going to be a difficult conversation.

“He showed me things that haven’t happened yet. The most awful things. I saw… a dark cloud spreading over Hawkins. Downtown on fire. Dead soldiers. And this… this giant creature with… a gaping mouth. And this creature wasn’t alone. There were so many monsters. An army. And they were coming into Hawkins. Into our neighborhoods. Our homes. And then… He showed me my mom. And Holly. Mike. And they… They were all-” Nancy’s emotions left her unable to continue.

You were standing near Dustin, listening carefully to her words as she explained to you what had happened yesterday with Vecna. But reliving it wasn’t easy, you knew that all too well.

“Okay, but… he’s just trying to scare you, Nancy. Right? I mean… I mean, it’s not real.” Steve tried to comfort her, but it didn’t work.

“Not yet. But there- there was something else. He showed me gates. Four gates. Spreading across Hawkins. And these gates, they looked like the one outside of Eddie’s trailer, but they didn’t stop growing. And this wasn’t the Upside Down Hawkins. This was our Hawkins. Our home.”

“Four chimes. Vecna’s clock. It always chimes four times. Four exactly.” Max said and Nancy nodded at her words.

“I heard them too.”

“He’s been telling us his plan this whole time.” Max came to the realization, making you all fill with fear.

“Four kills. Four gates. End of the world.” Lucas thought out loud before you heard your brother speak from beside you.

“If that’s true… he’s only one kill away.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.” Eddie said, his tone scared, perfectly capturing how you were all feeling right now.

“Try ‘em again. Try ‘em again.” Steve signaled Max to punch in Joyce’s number again. You have no idea how many times you have tried to contact them. All you knew is that each time there was no answer, just like now.

“Anything?” you asked and bit your lip when you saw Max shake her head.

“No. Rang a few times, then went to busy signal.”

“Maybe you punched it in wrong. Try again.” Steve told her, but she immediately argued back.

“I didn’t punch it in wrong.”

“Well, I don’t know.” Steve looked desperate, but Max turned around, calling the number again just to show him she had done it right.

“Dude, I think she knows how to use a phone.” Dustin commented and Steve rolled his eyes.

“I’m just saying, she could’ve typed it in wrong.”

“Same shit.” Max hangs up the phone and you let out a sigh.

“How is that possible?” Lucas asks you all.

“I told you; Joyce has this telemarketer job. She’s always on the phone. Mike won’t stop whining about it.” you shake your head at Dustin’s words.

“No. Nuh-uh. No way. Not being able to reach them for three days is not mathematically possible. We’ve tried every single hour of the day. This isn’t Joyce, it’s something else.”

“She’s right. It can’t be just a coincidence. It can’t be.” Nancy agreed with you, getting up from her seat and walking to the window behind her “Whatever’s happening in Lenora is connected to all of this. I’m sure of it. But Vecna can’t hurt them. Not if he’s dead.” she turns back to you, a determined look in her eye “We have to go back in there. Back to the Upside Down.”

At the sound of her words, Eddie and Steve began arguing back, not liking the idea of going back there. You stood off the chaos, your brain trying to find another solution. Even though you feared there was no other way.

“Let’s think this through, okay?” Steve was now standing up, looking at Nancy who got irritated at his suggestion.

“What is there to think through?”

“We barely made it out of there in one piece.” Steve said.

“Yeah, because we weren’t prepared. But this time, we will be. We’ll get weapons and protection. We’ll go through the gate, we’ll find his lair, and we’ll kill him.” Nancy replied, but Steve wasn’t backing down.

“Or he’ll kill us. The only reason that you survived is because he wanted you to. He’s not scared of us.” he finished and Robin jumped up from her seat on the floor and into the conversation.

“And for good reason. We were wrong about Vecna. Henry. One. Sorry, what are we calling him now?” she received different answers from all of you “Right. We’ve learned something new about Vecna/Henry/One. He’s a number like Eleven, only a sick, evil, made, child-murdering version of her with really bad skin. But- but- but- My point is, he’s super powerful. He could turn us inside out with a snap of his fingers. It’s not a fair fight.”

“So then why fight fair? You’re right, he’s like Eleven. But that gives us an upper hand. We know Eleven’s strengths. And weaknesses.”

“Weaknesses?” Erica questioned Dustin’s words.

“When El remote-travels, she goes into this sort of trance-like state. I bet the same is true of Vecna.” he explained and Lucas chimed in.

“That could explain what he was doing in that attic.”

“Exactly. When he attacks his next victim, I’ll bet you he’s back in that attic, physical body defenseless.”

“Defenseless? Yeah? What about the army of bats?” Steve argued, pointing at the scar on his neck. Even though you hated how hurt he got, you couldn’t agree with him on this.

“We’ll fight them off.” you finally spoke up, eyes all on you “Distract them, somehow. Gain their attention so we can slip through to Vecna.”

“And, uh, how do we do that, exactly?” Eddie tried to get up from the couch he was sitting on but immediately sat back down when he heard your not-so-helpful explanation.

“I don’t know. But once they’re gone, we have our chance.”

“It’ll be like slaying sleeping Dracula in his coffin.” Dustin said after you.

“You think this is a good idea?” Steve asked you and you shrugged your shoulders.

“I think this is our only idea.”

“That all sounds good in theory, but there is no pattern to Vecna’s killings. I mean, at least on one that I can decipher. We don’t know when he’s going to attack next. We don’t even know who he’s going to attack.” Robin tells you, bringing up a good point.

“Yeah, we do.” you look up and stare at Max “I can still feel him. I’m still marked. Cursed. I ditch Kate Bush, I draw his focus back to me.”

“Max. You can’t. He’ll kill you.” Lucas tells her, eyes sad, not even bearing the thought of reality behind his words.

“I survived before. I can survive again. I just need to keep him busy long enough so that you guys can get into that attic. Then you can chop his head off. Stab him in the heart. Blow him up with some explosive Dustin cooks up. I honestly don’t care how you put this asshole in his grave. Just… whatever it is… whatever you do… try not to miss.” you felt the responsibility lay on your shoulders, and you made the silent promise to protect her and everyone in this room at all costs. No matter your outcome.

So, once again the planning began. First of all, you needed weapons. Loads of them. And Eddie knew just the place to get them.

“Check this out. The War Zone.” he sets down on the table the phone book and you lean over his shoulder to see what he is pointing at “I’ve been there once. It’s huge. They got everything you need for, uh… well, killing things, basically.”

“Do you think fake Rambo has enough guns there? Is that a grenade? I mean, how is any of this legal?” Robin asked you and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Well, lucky for us it is, so… this- this place is just far enough outside of Hawkins. As long as we steer clear of the main roads, we oughta be able to avoid cops and, uh, angry hicks.” Eddie said.

“If we’re trying to avoid angry hicks, maybe we shouldn’t go to some store called the War Zone.” Erica raised a good point, making Dustin point at her.

“Normally, I’d agree, but we need the weapons. So… I think it’s worth the risk.”

“Me too.” Lucas agreed with Nancy.

“Yeah, but is it worth the time? It’ll take all day to bike there and back.” Dustin asked the group and Eddie answered back.

“Who said anything about bikes?” you looked at Eddie with confusion in your eyes.

“What, you got some car we don’t know about?” Steve asked with irony in his tone.

“It’s not exactly a car, Steve. It’s not exactly mine but, uh… it’ll do.” he said with a smirk on his lips before turning to Max “Hey, Red, uh, you got a ski mask or a bandanna, something like that?”

Max indeed had something he could use. She digs out of her room her old Halloween mask of Michael Myers and Eddie puts it on to hide his face from anyone who might accidentally spot you. You get out of the trailer and start following after Eddie. You end up at a van across the park, the couple living there were sitting right outside listening to the radio, so you carefully made your way to the other side without being seen.

Eddie opens the window and throws himself in. You shake your head as you walk to the window.

“I can’t believe we’re stealing a van.”

“Believe it.” Steve told you and helped you get inside before heading in himself. You land on top of the built-in couch, thankful that it wasn’t the hard floor.

“Y/n, help!” you hear Dustin whisper-yell at you, so you turn around and grab his hand pulling him inside with as much power as you had. After you made sure the rest were getting in without any trouble, you followed Eddie and Steve to the front, watching in shock as Eddie hot-wires the van.

“Where’d you learn how to do this?” Steve asks him.

“Well, when the other dads were teaching their kids how to fish or play ball, my old man was teaching me how to hot-wire. Now, I swore to myself I wouldn’t wind up like he did, but now I’m wanted for murder, and soon, grand theft auto. So, uh, you know, I’m really living up to that Munson name.” it was obvious he wasn’t very fond of his father, if not by his words then definitely by his tone, still you couldn’t help but be impressed by his quick technique.

“Impressive.” you tell him and feel a set of hands land on your shoulders. You turn your head and see Robin behind you.

“Uh, Eddie? I’m not sure I love the idea of you driving.”

“Oh, I’m just starting this sucker. Harrington’s got her. Don’t ya, big boy?” Eddie looks up at Steve with big smirk on his face, making Steve confused. Eddie however doesn’t pay attention to your faces, and finally starts the van, music interrupting the quiet immediately making you targets “Saddle up, Henderson.” Eddie tells you with the same smirk before you start hearing yelling from outside.

The couple had finally realized there were intruders in their van and began knocking on the windows to stop you. You do as Eddie told you and hurry to buckle yourself in the passenger’s seat while Steve motions for Eddie to get out of the driver's one so he can start the car.

“It’s just a car.” he tells himself, building up the courage to drive this thing before addressing the rest of the group “Everybody, hang on to something!”

“Steve!” you call out for him when you make the mistake of looking at the woman who was cursing you for stealing her van. The angry look on her face makes you anxious and full of guilt.

“Drive, Steve! Drive!” Dustin yelled and the car finally started going. It was a harsh start so you held on to everything that your hands could reach “Shit, they look pissed.” Dustin pointed out when he saw the owners from the back window.

“It’s not everyday you lose your house and car in one fell swoop.” Robin said.

“Hold on! Hold on!” Steve warns you and harshly turns the car, hitting some garbage cans in the process. He groans as he makes one final turn, exiting the trailer park and getting on the road, tires endlessly screeching.

You were an hour into the trip, silence overtaking the vehicle. You were looking around the road, staring at the trees passing by, when your eyes shifted over to Steve. He looked more relaxed behind the wheel now than he did when the journey first began.

“You doing okay?” you ask him and for a second he turns his head to look at you, before returning back forward to focus on the road.

“Not half bad… considering this is a house.” he jokes and you giggle. The sound of your laughter ignites a very precious thought he’s had for quite a while, only now feeling the courage he needed to share it. With everything that’s happening it’s better to tell you now than be too late “Yeah, it’s… it’s silly, but I- I’ve actually… I always had this dream that I’d have this really… really big family. I’m talking, like, a full brood of Harringtons. Like, five, six, kids.”

“Six kids?” you stare at him, mouth open in shock.

“Yeah. Six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys. And- and then every summer, I figured all of us Harringtons, we would pack into something like this and… just see the country. You know, the Rockies, Grand Canyon, maybe Yellowstone. End up in some beachside town in California. Spend a week parked in the sand. Learn how to surf or something.” a small fond smile appeared on your face as you listened to him, but you still weren’t able to let down the number.

“Well, that all sounds great, but I can’t carry six kids.”

“Who says I’m talking about you?” Steve asks humorously and you scoff at his teasing.

“Oh really? Okay, so then you better go find that someone, because I’m not doing it.”

“Come on, we did a great job with these ones.” he points to the back, obviously talking about the kids.

“This is different. They’re grown, not babies. I went through it with Dustin, trust me it is no easy job.”

“I don’t know. I feel like if you’re with the right person, it’s easy.” you couldn’t help but blush at his words. However, you also couldn’t control the laughter that came over you when you started analyzing your current situation “What?” he asks you confused over your reaction.

“I just can’t believe you’re telling me about starting a family together, but the idea of moving in together scares you.” you didn’t want to make him feel bad with your laughter. If you were being honest, you had gotten over that a long time ago. If he wasn’t ready for such a big step, you wouldn’t force it upon him. You loved him, and your relationship, and that was enough for you.

Steve, on the other hand, was biting his lip knowing he had to speak to you about the misunderstanding and explain to you what was actually going through his head at that moment “Y/n, about that, I-” your smile died down when you realized his voice was smaller than you had expected “When you asked me that, I didn’t hesitate because of you… I hesitated because of myself.”

“What do you mean?” your eyebrows scrunch.

“I need you to believe me that I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to move in with you, it’s just… I’m afraid I’m not enough for the world outside of Hawkins. Here… it’s secure. Here I have a job, a house, my friends. Out there I’m no one. I have no skills to show for myself, I’m- I’m useless.” your heart breaks at his words. You hadn’t realized this is what concerned him. If you knew you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did. God, you feel like an idiot. Especially when you easily see through him and understand where this was coming from.

“These aren’t your words, honey.” it wasn’t hard to decipher his words. You’ve had the ‘dad talk’ plenty of times, and it always starts with another one of his dad’s comments about Steve’s education and/or his job. There is one specific word he uses when he speaks with his son: useless. You hate that word so much; it sickens you to your core. Because Steve is anything but that.

“Is he wrong?” his voice breaks and your hand grabs his free one, desperately wanting to console him.

“Yes.” your voice is stern, and your eyes never move from the side of his face. He couldn’t bear to face you, because if he did even for a second the tears would spill out before he could stop them “Because he doesn’t know you. Not the way I do. We do.” you point to yourself, and the others at the back “You are smart, and strong, and capable of achieving anything you wish to. And I know that because I know how determined you are. Steve, you have risked your life so many times for us just because you wanted to. That night at the Byers’ house, you came back to help us even after we told you to leave, even after you were scared. You stayed. You faced your fear back then and you can do it again. And this time I will never leave your side. I love you, Steve. More than you know, and I want to help you chase your dream. Whatever it may be.”

His eyes finally met yours and he could see just how much you truly meant everything you just said. He doesn’t know what he wants to do, but right now he’s felt more sure than ever that if he’s with you, he can make it. He slips his fingers in between yours and brings your palm to his lips, a soft kiss landing on your skin.

“I love you too. Thank you.” you smile at him and stay with your hands connected for as long as you could.

When you arrived at War Zone you decided to split the group, so only you, Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Erica went inside. Your eyes scanned the huge store while trying to guess how many people were here.

“So much for avoiding angry hicks.” Robin commented.

“Let’s be… fast. Yep?” Nancy said, and you all agreed.

You went your separate ways, each of you having different tasks to complete. You were in charge of finding some clothes for all of you as you desperately needed to get out of your dirty, ripped ones. You scan the clothing aisle to find anything that could be useful and fighting an interdimensional demon appropriate. You found a brown jacket and showed it to Steve, who nodded his head in approval. It was an army jacket that you decided to pair up with a camo T-shirt and new pants. You also found a deep green jacket for yourself and a new black shirt, so you could remove your old one.

You both went to one of the dressing rooms and quickly changed to avoid all the weird stares you had been getting from the moment you got there. After you were done you gathered some more clothes for the rest and headed over to Robin who had a cart.

“How many of these do you think we need?” she asks you, holding up a bottle of gasoline, as you place the big pile of clothes in the cart.

“Five or six.” Steve responds and starts putting in more.

After you had sorted the clothes as much as you could in the cart, you looked up and realized that Robin’s attention was focused elsewhere than the matter at hand. You follow her gaze with curious eyes, eventually letting a smile grow on your face when you see who she is staring at. You lightly hit Steve’s shoulder, pointing towards Vicki and he immediately understood what was going on.

“What are you gonna do, Robin? Just stand here and gawk at her?” Steve teased her, but Robin was too distracted to come up with a good comeback.

“Shut up.”

“Go talk to her.” you gave her a little push. You bit your lip when you saw her take a step to go to Vicki, but everything got ruined in mere seconds. Your smile slowly faded when you saw a guy go over to Vicki, talk to her, and kiss her. It broke your heart, so you could only imagine how Robin was feeling.

Robin could not tear her gaze from the kiss in front of her, her entire stomach doing a flip when Vicki’s eyes fell on her.

“Oh, Robin-” you tried to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off and ran quickly away from you. Steve called after her, but it was already too late. You looked at Steve and told him to continue getting everything you needed. In the meantime, you were gonna be looking for Robin.

“That girl knows how to play hide and seek.” you murmured under your breath, your eyes scanning the store for any sign of your friend. You were looking for the past ten minutes and the only thing you found was insane prices for insane products.

Suddenly something hit you from behind startling you. You turned around, ready to confront the person who did it, when you realized it was just Erica who had hit you with her own cart.

“We need to go.” her tone was serious, making you immediately anxious.

“Why, what happened?”

“They happened.” she pointed behind you. You scrunched up your eyebrows at her behavior before turning around and seeing what made her act like this.

“Shit.” the whole basketball team, the one chasing Eddie and the kids were here doing the same thing you were. Gathering resources for their big hit.

After that, you all acted very quickly. You had to pay for what you had, find everyone who was missing, and leave the store without getting caught. As Steve was at the register with Max and Erica, you and Nancy were able to find Robin who was hiding in one of the dressing rooms. She didn’t waste any time when you told her what was happening and helped you carry the shopping bags to the car. Steve opened the door and one by one you all headed inside.

“What happened?” Lucas asked you all.

“We gotta go.” Steve said and, in a hurry, settled the bags he was holding down before climbing onto the driver’s seat. You quickly followed behind him.

“Your old friends are here.” Erica informed Lucas who cursed at the realization.

“Let’s go!” Dustin repeated at you, making Steve raise his voice as well.

“I’m going! I’m going! Just sit down!” he started the car and took off for Hawkins to continue your plan.

Your eyes roamed across the hill, landing on all the separate groups of your party. Lucas was with Erica preparing the spears, Max was watching Nancy fix up her gun, and your brother was making shields with Eddie. Well… they were actually goofing around but it looked like they did a good job on them. And it was nice seeing your brother aloof for even just a moment.

You were in charge of gearing up your clothes, making them as protected as you could for your and Dustin’s groups. After you had found a quiet place to relax, you began preparing your plan. Nancy divided you into three teams: The first team was Lucas, Erica, and Max who had the role of the bait to lure Vecna, the second team was Dustin, Robin, and Eddie who were going to distract the Demobats, and you were part of the third team with Steve, and Nancy who were going to kill Vecna.

You all agreed with the plan at first but right now something wasn’t sitting right with you. Watching Dustin out there laugh and have fun pulled on your heart. You’ve been over this road four times now and you’re worried something bad is going to happen. You didn’t want anyone to get hurt. However, as his big sister, Dustin was your priority.

You always made sure to be with him in moments like this, learning from your mistakes from 1983 when you left the party to go with Jonathan and Nancy to fight the Demogorgon. That same night you all lost Eleven. Dustin’s sad face for the next months was so clear in your mind, even now. After that moment you made a promise to yourself to always help him and protect him in big and small things.

Leaving him now in that group without you, just… felt wrong.

“We finished up with the bombs. How is everything going on here?” your head snapped to your right at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Despite your worry, his presence always pulled a small smile on your face.

“Great. I just finished up with Dustin’s uniform. And my own…” your final words were paired with a sigh, expecting the confusion that quickly covered his face.

“You’re sure this isn’t Robin’s? You’re supposed to be on our team, remember?” his hands inspected the clothes filled with gear that was meant to protect group 2 from the bats.

“About that… I think it’ll be better if I stay with Dustin.” you finally said.

“What?”

You stood up from your seat, your lips letting out a sigh as you took his hand into yours for both of your comfort “Steve… This is our fourth time doing this. Our luck is running out and I have to make sure that he’ll be okay. I hate leaving him alone and I know you can take care of yourself, and it kills me to leave you behind but… I have to be here. I need to protect him in any way that I can.” you were playing with his fingers by the time you finished talking, your eyes watching your hands move, only focusing back on his face when his left hand touched your cheek.

“Okay, I get that… It’s gonna be weird not having you with me during the fight for the first time, but I can deal with Robin, it’d be fine.” you smiled and leaned in to leave a peck on his cheek “Just be careful. I want a girlfriend to come back to at the end of this.”

He chuckled at the end, obviously making a joke, but you couldn’t help but feel bittersweet at his words. Because you wanted to come back to him and fight for all of your safety. However, you also knew that if a sacrifice was needed, you were willing to take it. For them.

“I will.”

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[thesleepyfable]

~ SWTD: Still Here AU Season 2 Chapter 2: ~

A Family Growing Smaller:

I've teased about what this season is going to be on Discord, and now, a small seed is being planted.

With nothing more than the clothes on their back and hand luggage by their feet, Raffs and Brodie waited for the taxi to arrive. Everyone stood beside them. They knew they'd see each other again soon. You can't walk away from a crew when you've gone through what they have in the last week. Sadly, this only left Rennick, Trots, Muir, Addair, Gibbo, O'Connor, Innes, Roy, and Caz left together. They could all feel their newfound family getting smaller by the day. Soon, it would be O'Connor's turn.

'Safe journey home,' Roy said, giving the pair one of his signature bear hugs.

'Aye, you too,' Brodie replied. It was true what people said about him. He was a miserable bastard. Well, in the eyes of someone like Muir, he was. Never strayed from the rules and didn't know how to laugh. No one had seen him smile, but that could be because of the large moustache that would make Hercule Poirot blush. But today, you could hear the happiness in his voice. Finally going home after nearly six months. 'You lot come to Skye when the weather clears. You've never seen water like that before.'

'Ah, fuck that,' Caz joked. 'I'm never going in the water again.' Like before, everyone exchanged numbers. 'You two stay out of trouble.'

'Says you, Caz?'

'Gie's peace, ya prick.' The pair shared a final chuckle and hug. Caz learned a lot from Brodie, despite the pair never actually working together. He was a good man who taught him much, but the main one was to never go diving. How he and Raffs could do that meant they were braver than he'll ever be. Or, maybe Caz was smarter.

'So, what's your plan?'

'Stay here till New Years, then get my arse back to Glasgow.' But, in all honesty, Caz was conflicted. The scars weren't physical, but The Shape has left permanent damage. Whenever he now felt one of the infected slip away, it made him sad. Like a piece of him was missing. He didn't understand. They were his friends, but not for that long. He didn't even meet Gibbo until the end of September, and he still wasn't seeing a friendship with Addair in the near future.

At the same time, he wanted to go home.

He had to go home, and as much as he enjoyed the peaceful farm and endless fields, the countryside wasn't for him. Plus, he couldn't run forever from what he did. The sentencing will be longer. It's best to just get it over with. Caz wouldn't buy his bail. The money was for Suze to keep the flat. Finally, redecorate the bedroom and get the windows replaced.

'You two gonna stay away from the water?'

'Nah,' Brodie answered. 'But, like Roper said to me. I think we're going to go on a long holiday.'

'I hear Benidorm is nice.'

'Be original, Caz.'

Raffs felt a tap on the shoulder and turned to see O'Connor and Addair. It was odd to see the pair stand together without trying to rip each other's throats out. Last time they did, the pair only stopped the fight because O'Connor accidentally gave the poor lad a black eye when he pulled back to swing a punch, only for his elbow to collide with Raffs' eye socket.

'When are you and Mary going home?'

'Soon, I hope. Then hopefully come here.'

'You're going to leave Ireland?'

'It's not getting any better out there, Owen.' For some reason, O'Connor never called Raffs by his nickname. Or anyone really for that matter. Only Caz, Trots, and Gibbo weren't called by their first or surname. 'I'm only still working to provide a better roof over our heads.'

'I can lend money, if that will-'

'No,' O'Connor snapped, holding up a hand and ignoring how loud he momentarily was. 'No. That's your money and yours alone. We'll be fine. You go and see your ma, and have a happy new year.'

'Okay.' Raffs didn't know what came over him. A sense of guilt for not being able to do much for the past few days? Some type of desire to help? It's just something to make him feel useful. From his perspective, he's just followed everyone and waited to be told what to do. But before he could get lost in thought, it was now Addair's turn to give the young man his send-off.

'So, is this the end of Raffs' oil rig career?'

'Absolutely,' the diver answered without a moments thought. 'I know Skye always wants fishermen. It's a way to keep to the water. What about you?' Asking as if Addair could ever go into work again. A look of realisation hit Raffs as soon as the question left his mouth. His eyes widened, and his mouth curled. Thankfully, possibly because his wife and sons were here, Addair took it in stride and just laughed.

'I might take up cricket again.'

'I always saw you as a rugby bloke,' O'Connor teased.

'I love all sports.'

'Even horse racing?'

'No, I'd rather pluck my eyes out.' Yep. Still strange to see the pair actually having a laugh together, but it was nice.

Raffs felt Addair open his hand and put something inside his palm. He looked and held up a wooden carving of himself. It was remarkably detailed. Right down to the small orange pin he kept on the lining of his beanie. The young diver blinked a few times before looking up in shock.

'Did you make this?'

'Just something for you to take home.' Even with that answer, Raffs was shocked. The pair never had a conversation before until Muir gave them a task. But, he was happy. He didn't think he'd be going home with a gift.

'Thanks, Addair. Maybe you should go into woodcarving?'

Addair smiled. 'It's a thought. I've gotta keep the old noggin' active somehow.' The pair shared a handshake. He might be infected, but Addair's hand still felt the same. Nothing had changed in them. They were rough with dried skin peeling off the palms. Man has always done physical labour, so it wasn't a surprise the more Raffs pondered. Might be the only thing The Shape didn't alter.

'Hey? Good luck with Tommy.'

Addair paused. First Trots, then Gibbo and now Raffs. It always surprised him when someone mentioned his son's name. Like an alien was talking to him. He still didn't know how Trots knew to begin with. Yet, this time, his smile didn't fade.

'Thank you, Raffs. Now go on,' he pulled down on his beanie, covering his eyes. 'Fuck off back home.'

And just like that, two more members of the crew vanished. They watched them head down the long drive until they were out of sight. Muir sat in the snow to avoid the possibility of the taxi driver seeing his towering form. Everyone lingered for a moment before going back to their day.

Addair turned and caught Jennifer's eye. She stood on the porch. He smiled, but his smile towards his goddess slowly faded. He saw the look of distress in her eyes and the tears she held back. A sinking feeling weighed the man down.

[twistedbunni]

Unrequited pt.2

Buggy x reader

A/N: here's the second part in all it's messily written glory. Angst again but the ending is sweet (and funny in my opinion).

Enjoy!

Pt 1

You'd been traveling with the Straw hats for a while now, for a few months or maybe even half a year?? Honestly you had stopped keeping track of time or at least days, it was pointless to when it was hurting you more than it was helping. Starting out the journey counting the days since you had last seen your friends and the man you loved, but you quickly realized after a week or so that it was only serving to make your heart grow heavy with sorrow.

The new crew kept you on your toes far more than you had ever been before. Constantly being dragged along to explore the islands you docked at, getting dragged into fights you didn't want to be in, getting a target basically placed on your back by a warlord for simply being around Luffy. It was fun at times but you'd often find yourself exhausted and longing for the more relaxed life you had back with Buggy.

Sure the Buggy Pirates we're fearsome, known to destroy whole towns over night for fun, but you'd been placed on the part of the crew that would stay in the boat to not only guard it but also to prepare the circus tents to be set up for performances. You were a pirate, there was no denying that, but you'd always been a somewhat passive one who would do all the necessary background type jobs while the tougher guys of crew did all the dirty work.

It was always like that for you on Buggy's ship and even on the ship you'd sailed with before, but these straw hats really made you feel like you'd joined a pack of wolves operating as a pack, not the beehive with workers coming and going like you were use to. They were all nice, friendly, charming people sure, but they could never make you feel the same level of comfort that Cabaji, Mohji, and unfortunately Buggy had brought you.

The longer you stayed with these misfits the more you missed the freaks. You wanted to get away from the circus so you wouldn't have to feel that pain of unrequited love, but your leaving only served to bring you loneliness of feeling like you don't belong here.

Thankfully you were somewhat saved by Fire Fist Ace, he'd very briefly joined up with the straw hats and ultimately when he left he offered to take you with him. You had been grateful to him, able to see how you really didn't fit in with his brother or the rest of the group and so he'd asked you to come with him. Ace was open to helping you find somewhere you'd fit in better, which ultimately led you back to the ship your heart longed to be on again.

Buggy wasn't fairing any better than you had been to be honest. When he'd seen you riding out to sea aboard the Going Merry, he'd felt something in him break. He knew you said you would be leaving his ship back in LogueTown because you'd both known it would've been torture for you to stay any longer with things as they were, but deep deep down part of him was hoping, praying, wishing for you to be there when he got back. He had hoped you'd change your mind, not for his sake but for the sake of his 2 most faithful members.

Cabaji refused to do any unicycling for a month or so after, stating it hurt him to perform on it after he'd already gotten his mind so dead set on the idea of teaching you how to ride so he could perform with you. Mohji was not much better, really only spending his time with his lion Riche, often talking to the beast about how he misses the times you'd offer to brush out the lion's mane only for him to find the pair of you asleep.

The rest of the crew, even though never becoming as close to you as the main 2, all seemed to have imaginary rain clouds over them after you'd gone. The whole ship seemed to be quieter, less vibrant, and all around gloomier now that you weren't here to constantly liven the place up with jokes or general upkeep of things.

Buggy felt things the hardest though. Sure he'd inadvertently distanced himself from you a while prior to your leaving and had grown to barely talking to you, but he still missed your presence on board. He missed seeing you around the ship smiling at him when he'd spot you. How you'd have everything perfectly ready for him to perform, but now having to prep all by himself. He'd begun to often forget things in his dressing room, since he'd grown so use to you having all of his props ready to go before he had even finished getting ready. He missed the way you would brush his hair out as he'd rant about things, always being so careful to not yank his hair when you'd encounter a tangle or two. You would tell him tales of your adventures from the ship you'd been on previously, often finding himself falling asleep to your voice, it hurt to not be able to hear it at all. Overall he missed you, and all the things you did, even the things that'd typically get on his nerves.

He may not have loved you at that moment in time you'd left, but as each day passed he could feel himself at least developing feelings for you and he'd begun to believe that there was a real possibility he would fall for you if he did embrace these budding feelings. Though he'd messed it all up and lost you as a result, it was something he could never forgive himself for.

Buggy was currently sat looking over some documents related to the next step of his and Alvida's plans, about ready to just give up on reading them for now to go distract his mind from his own thoughts. That's when he heard it, the sounds of cheering from the deck followed by heavy footsteps and his door bursting open.

"Captian!" Cabaji stood in the doorway, out of breath with wide grin on his face. "You're gonna want to see who just came on board."

Filled with a mix of dread and excitement, Buggy followed his subordinate out to the commotion on deck, finding his men surrounding around what he assumed was someone. When he'd approached, the crowd of his crew parted to give him a clear path to see who'd they'd been crowding around. He saw the famed Fire Fist Ace which was interesting, but more importantly he saw you standing there on his deck.

Your attention was on Riche, petting the large lion's mane, until you noticed the sudden silence of everyone, you turned to follow their gaze, seeing Buggy standing there. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape as if he'd been processing if what he was seeing was real or not.

"Hey..." As soon as the word left your lips you'd felt a weight crashing into you in an instant. Buggy detached himself from his legs, his upper half had flown to you grabbing you tightly in a hug and spinning you up off the ground.

Eventually when the spinning had stopped and you'd found yourself stood once more on your own two feet, Buggy's legs made their way over reattaching to the torso that still held you in his arms. "I've missed you... God have I missed you" His voice was barely above a whisper as he freed you from his grasp.

It was bittersweet to hear him say that, it meant he'd held something for you in his heart but you dared not assume it was anything other than platonic. "I missed you too."

Riche now jealous you'd stopped giving him attention, began to nudge you with his nose. "Alright, alright! I missed you too buddy." You went back to petting him, gaining a little growl in satisfaction from him. The crowd of pirates around you kicked back to life a moment later, begining to celebrate your return and getting to know Ace who'd brought you back to them.

You'd been kept busy for the next few hours, from catching up with your friends to telling tales of what you'd gone through with the straw hats. Everyone was excited to see you again, even Alvida who'd given you a flick on the forehead acolding you not to go running off again, leaving the crew in such bad spirits over your absence.

At some point you'd managed to slip away from the party that'd moved below deck, making your way to the top deck to get some fresh air. You'd found Buggy standing with his back to you juggling a set of colored rubber balls, fumbling and nearly dropping them when you cleared your throat to make your presence known.

"Shouldn't you be downstairs partying with your crew?" You question as he turned to face you.

"I could say the same to you, especially considering they're celebrating your return." He slid the rubber balls back into a pouch, putting it into his coat pocket.

"Damn, you got me there." You smirked, leaning your back on the railing closest to him. "Needed a break from them is all."

"You saying they're too much to handle or something?" He joked coming to stand closer to you.

"Not exactly, I've missed everyone a great deal, but I've also missed being able to just relax. Those straw hats are too adventurous for me."

His head cocked to the side, an eyebrow raising itself on his face. "And we're not? I'd argue we've been on more adventures than those brats have."

"It's not that they adventure more, it's that they seem to jump head first into everything and everyone in the crew is expected to come along. Felt like I literally had to fight for my life daily, almost got turned into a wax statue, endured an avalanche then nearly died of heatstroke in a desert. Even got put on Crocodile's shit list." You groaned.

"How the hell did they get you on a warlord's bad side?!" Buggy's eyes practically popped out of his skull, before he dramatically turned his nose away all snootily and waved a hand dismissively at you. "No, that's too preposterous to think my little Y/n could ever be on anyone's kill list. I mean you don't even take part in anything that could be considered dirty or dangerous, much less doing something worthy enough of anyone wanting you dead."

You stiffened a little. "Uh since when am I your little anything?"

The man froze, he hadn't even realized he'd called you his, it just slipped out without thinking. Quick Buggy think of something fast! "Uh- I um- I meant like your mine in terms of you're my crew. Ya know like how I could say my little Cabaji, cause he's also one of my men- one of my loyal crew!"

You gave him a skeptical look, not quite believing him but not fully understanding what he mean by it if not in the context he claimed it was. "Okay... But who said I was even joining your crew again? Maybe I have decided to travel with that guy that brought me here and we're only stopping by this ship so I can see everyone."

"You're... not staying?" His expression fell, voice shaking at the thought of you leaving again, he hadn't even thought about how this could just be a visit due to coincidence.

You were going to stay, there was no doubt in your mind that you would, but something was bothering you still. You didn't want to give Buggy the full satisfaction of knowing you're back for good. Even though it wasn't his fault he hadn't been able to return your feelings back then, he'd still hurt you when he choose to stop making time for you, and you wanted him to see that.

"If I stay things would be different, I wouldn't be coming back just to let everything play out exactly how it had been before." Your gaze was fixed on the wood of the deck, not wanting to meet his gaze or see his expression at all.

"Of course things will be different. I promise I'll make time for you, make you a priority again." He stood up straighter, a hand reaching out to you, only for you to swat it away and turn away from him completely.

"No." You took a heavy breath, willing yourself to keep it together. "I didn't do this all for your attention, I did it so I wouldn't have to see you."

Turning finally you were able to see just how broken Buggy looked as he processed your words, trying to choose his own carefully. "Did you grow to hate me that much?"

"No I grew to love you that much. To the point my heart was aching constantly knowing you didn't feel the same. That you were giving your not just your attention but also your time to someone far more attractive and powerful than I could ever hope to be. I was broken when you found me, you put me back together, made me feel somewhat special and like you cared, only to have you cut me off completely when you brought her on. I know that just like you don't love me, you don't love her either, but my brain didn't see it that way. I had to get away in order to get over my own feelings, even though it hurt like hell to leave everyone- to leave YOU behind. I suffered physically with that crew while I suffered emotionally over missing you." At this point you were shaking with anger at not only him but yourself as well.

"Do- Do you still love me?" He had swallowed hard, to scared to look into your eyes and see the truth before you could answer.

Your fist clenched "What the fuck does it matter if I do or don't anymore? I'm trying to tell you how being close to you hurts me."

"Please just answer the question." His tone was pleading, pulling perfectly at the strings of your heart.

Sighing and closing your eyes for a moment, you responded honestly. "Yes I still love you. I never stopped and at this point I don't think I ever could stop."

The pirate sighed with relief, smiling at you. "Thank God... I feared you didn't."

You scowled. "This isn't a joke!" Swinging your fist in an attempt to punch him. He'd dodged it easily, grabbing you as he did and pulled you to his chest. You didn't try to fight your way out of his arms, giving in letting him hold you as you'd finally began crying, letting out all the pent up emotions from inside you. You'd been on the verge of breaking ever since you got onboard, somehow managing to keep up the facade and keep yourself together until this moment when you he embraced you like you'd longed for him to do since the day you'd left.

One of his hands came up to pet your head comfortingly. "I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry you've been in so much pain because of me. I fucked up, I knew I did as soon as you left. I shouldn't have let you leave in the first place, I should have fought for you to stay. I could never dare compare my hurt to yours but you should know that I've been hurting badly in your absence as well. I took your presence for granted and when it was gone I realized just how much I missed you. I missed all the things that we'd do together and all the little things you did for me."

He pushed you away from him gently, just enough so he could see your face and you see his. "Missing you made me realize, I like you. I don't quite love you like you love me but I do have feelings for you that Im sure will blossom into love. I'd subconsciously buried them out of instinct to protect myself so I could never feel betrayed or abandoned again. Regrettably It took you leaving to bring them out of hiding."

You're eyes sparkled in the sunset, gaze fixed on the Tall clown. "Do you want to let them blossom into love though?"

Gloved hands cupped your cheeks as his eyes looked deeply into yours. "More than anything, I want to let them blossom untill I practically have a field of flowers and feelings that have bloomed with love for you. Will you allow me to fall in love with you?"

You smiled sweetly answering in a sugared tone. "Of course Buggy." Then you punched him in the gut.

He released you, doubling over in pain as he held the spot where your fist had landed, groaning in a pained tone. "What the hell was that for?"

"For dodging my earlier punch, and for being an idiot." You crossed your arms, watching as the man you loved was in pain thanks to your own doing.

"....Fair enough" He croaked "Your punch has gotten a bit stronger, so congrats on that."

Cabaji came to bring you a drink, finding the captain bent over in pain and you standing smugly above him. "Uh, what happened here?"

"Buggy just confessed his feeling for me, and basically asked me out." You smiled taking the drink he handed you.

"Oh..." He replied, both of you taking a sip of your drinks, looking down at the pained pirate clown. "NICE!"

[mcntsee]

Letters to her

prologue

summary: kaz’s letter to y/n throughout the years.

warnings: Kaz’s past is kinda mentioned, mentions of death, cursing

note: I tried to express kaz’s feelings and growth with every start and finish of all the letters, hopefully you guys understand it too. I added a little something at the end, hope you enjoy! <3333

first letter:

Deer y/n

My da said you can came come play wheneber you want to come play with my me again can you please come play with me soon pleas?

I miss you and Jordie miss and da and the little kitteny miss you we all misses you very much

Love Kaz!

(I drawed a pist picture of you and me and spots playing)

2nd letter

Dear Y/N,

I hope you're doing okay. I wanted to say a big thank you for being there when we said bye to my da. It made me feel better knowing you were there, even though it was kinda sad.

Guess what? Jordie said we're gonna move to Ketterdam. He says it's cause he wants me to go to a good school there. I'm not sure about leaving this house, but Jordie says it'll be good for us.

The cool part is that you live in Ketterdam! That means we can hang out more and play together. Remember when we used to build forts in the living room and pretend we were pirates? Maybe we can do that in Ketterdam too.

I'll miss this house a bit because it's where we played hide and seek and had ice cream parties, but I think Ketterdam will be fun too. And I'm really happy cause we'll get to see each other more often!

I will see you soon, okay?

Love, Kaz!

3rd letter

Dear y/n,

I'm really, really sorry I haven't come to see you yet. It's not 'cause I don't want to, I promise. You're still my bestest friend ever. It's just that things got a little crazy since we arrived.

Jordie met this guy named Jacob Hertzoon. And guess what? Jacob offered us a whole bunch of money for our house! Jordie said it's a really good thing 'cause we can use the money for important stuff. But it also means we're super busy.

I didn't want you to think I forgot about you or anything. I miss you a lot and I still want to see you and play together. Maybe once we're all settled in our new place and get the money, we can have a big adventure like we used to.

Thanks for being the best friend ever. I promise we'll hang out soon, okay?

Love, Kaz!

4th letter

Y/N,

Are you okay? Please write back! Jordie is gone. I need to know you're alive.

Kaz.

5th letter

Y/N,

I heard you went on quite the journey to Shu Han just to retrieve my cane. I assume the trip was bearable. Your efforts are appreciated.

It's curious how life unfolds, isn't it? One day we're children playing in the streets, the next we're scattered across the world for various reasons. Yet, here we are, still connected by some thread of familiarity.

I imagine you'll return from your expedition when the time is right. Until then, business with the dregs continues as usual. The city keeps turning, and so do its dealings. As for me, well, I have my own matters to attend to as soon as I’m able to walk again.

- K.B.

First note

Get well soon! Let me know if you need anything else.

- Love, Y/n!

6th letter

Y/N,

Your letter reached me, and I must admit, it contained more substance than I anticipated. Word travels fast in the Barrel, and it seems that Haskell has taken quite an interest in your recent endeavors. His words carry weight, though they seldom come without a price.

If his assessment holds true, and you manage to prove your worth in the upcoming job, it could indeed elevate you within the ranks. Haskell’s recognition of your potential is both promising and concerning. The higher one climbs, the more treacherous the fall can be.

In the midst of this, know that I await your return.

May you navigate these challenges with the same tenacity that has carried you thus far. I wish you the best of luck, Y/N. Tread carefully.

- K.B

7th letter

Y/N,

You certainly have a talent for uncovering promising recruits. Jesper Fahey. The word on the street is that he’s got a steady aim that’s worth noticing. The skills he possesses could indeed be valuable, particularly in the line of work we find ourselves engaged in.

However, I must tread cautiously when it comes to individuals entangled in debts and vices. Jesper Fahey, from what I’ve heard, is no stranger to gambling. His tendency to wager recklessly has garnered quite a reputation, one that isn’t entirely favorable. The loyalty of a man buried under the weight of debts is a precarious matter. Whether his skills can outweigh the burden of his choices remains to be seen.

Your perspective on recruits is valued, and I’ll certainly keep a watchful eye on Fahey. I trust your judgment, and I’m willing to entertain the possibility. In the midst of all this, remember that your return is anticipated and your presence missed.

Return safely,

K.B.

8th letter

Y/N,

Do you remember Jesper? It’s almost comical how, after discussing him in my last letter, fate seemed to conspire to validate our conversation. Not long after I sent those words to you, I found myself intervening to prevent Jesper from getting himself thoroughly thrashed due to his gambling debts.

I hope I’ve made the right call by extending a hand to Jesper. It’s a calculated risk, one that I’m hoping will pan out in our favor. There’s potential there, no doubt, but potential doesn’t always translate into reliability.

This letter is short, I know, but I will tell you more about it when you come back.

Stay safe,

K.B

9th letter

Y/n,

It’s been days since your last communication, and the weight of uncertainty presses heavily on me. The quiet absence of your presence has stirred an unease I’m not accustomed to.

I’ve seen you handle insane odds, and I know you’re more than capable. But here I am. My mind keeps wandering to places I’d rather it not go, imagining scenarios that could have unfolded, and none of them are sitting well with me.

I hope that this silence is a result of strategic detachment, that you’re immersed in the intricacies of the job and haven’t had a moment to spare for correspondence.

I’m not accustomed to this vulnerability, nor do I care for it. Yet, here I am, plagued by the absence of information. I ask you, if you’re able, to dispel this uncertainty. A simple message, a token of reassurance – anything to quell this rising tide of apprehension.

I await word from you with an intensity I hadn’t thought possible. May it come soon.

Expectantly,

K.B

10th letter

Y/N,

I received the coat you sent, and I must admit, it's a rare occasion when I'm at a loss for words. It's unlike anything I would've chosen for myself, yet somehow, it feels surprisingly fitting. I can't deny its utility either – I appreciate it.

Jesper and Nina have managed to cultivate a special talent for driving me to the brink of exasperation. Their camaraderie is both amusing and bewildering, a chaotic symphony that I'm still attempting to decipher.

Today was no different. Jesper's antics at the club bordered on audacious, and Nina's unbridled laughter was enough to turn heads in our direction. As I tried to navigate the sea of chaos they create, I found myself, unusually, yearning for a return to some semblance of normalcy.

I must confess, the prospect of your return holds an allure I hadn't anticipated. There's a steadiness in your presence, an understanding that's often a rare commodity in these tumultuous times. The chaos, the hustle – they feel more manageable when you're around.

Till then, I'll persevere in the sea of antics that Jesper and Nina stir up, counting down the days until your return.

Until then,

Kaz

11th letter

Y/N,

Your mention of the jurda parem caught my attention, no doubt about it. It’s a name that carries weight, and I’ve got a feeling we’re treading on some dangerous ground here. It’s the kind of thing that’s best left untouched until we’ve got a better handle on what it entails.

Listen, I won’t preach, but I’ve got to say it – be careful and keep an eye out for trouble. The city’s not known for being kind to those who don’t tread carefully, and I’d hate to see you caught in something you didn’t see coming.

I’ve got a job for you. One that’s right up your alley. It’s always better discussing these things face to face, so when you can, make your way back. The sooner, the better.

Until then,

Kaz

12th letter

Y/N,

I’ve never been one for words, as you well know. My tongue seems to have a mind of its own, often saying the wrong things at the wrong time. And when it comes to matters like these, I’ve found that my eloquence takes a swift exit.

So, here I am, writing this letter in hopes that the words come out right, that they somehow capture what I’m feeling. I’ve spent years navigating the intricacies of this city, and yet the complexities of my own emotions have managed to elude me.

I’ve always valued our connection, from those early days of childhood mischief to the present. You’ve been a constant in my life, someone whose presence brings a sense of order to the chaos that surrounds us. And somewhere along the way, that bond transformed into something deeper, something I’ve been grappling with.

I find myself wanting to say more, to articulate the thoughts that remain half-formed in my mind. But it’s difficult, Y/N, and this letter might be the best I can manage.

What I’m trying to say is that you’ve become more than a friend, more than a partner in crime. There’s a depth to my feelings that I’m only beginning to understand. And if I’m being truly honest, I’d like to explore where this path might lead.

I understand if you need time, if my sudden candor is a lot to process. But I wanted to put these thoughts down, to let you know where my heart is at. And if you’re open to it, if you’ve felt even a fraction of what I’ve been feeling, then maybe we can navigate this new terrain together.

Kaz.

Second note

I’d like to explore where this path might lead too.

Love, y/n!

13th letter

Y/N,

I can't thank you enough for stepping in when I couldn't. I hope the contractor in Lij wasn’t hard to handle.

Now, I have a proposal of a different kind. How about we put our skills to use in a more relaxed setting? I'd like to take you out to dinner. No heists, no secret dealings, just you and me, navigating the menu instead of the back alleys.

I've made reservations for us at a place that's a bit more reputable than the Barrel's taverns. Consider it a step toward normalcy, a chance to enjoy an evening without looking over our shoulders.

Looking forward to your return,

Kaz

14th letter

Dear Y/N,

Your letter reached me, and I've got to say, the way you put it into words – how much you miss me – it hits home. The distance is a constant reminder of the warmth I've grown accustomed to, and I find myself missing you more than I thought possible.

This job is driving me insane, and my thoughts often wander back to Ketterdam, back to you. It's like a pull, a magnetic force that tugs me back to the life we've been building together.

I bought something with me – a box of those chocolates you can't seem to get enough of. The catch? I'm hoping they survive the journey and don't turn into a gooey mess.

I want you to know that with every sunrise and sunset that passes, I'm getting more restless to return to the city that's been our canvas, our backdrop. Until then, my thoughts are with you, and I'm eagerly counting down the days until I can wrap my arms around you again.

With all my longing,

Kaz

3rd note

I apologize, it seems the chocolates didn’t fare too well. I hope they’re still somewhat salvageable and that they manage to satisfy your sweet tooth.

- Kaz

15th letter

Dear Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you on the mend, wrapped in warmth and taking good care of yourself. It pains me to know you're unwell while I'm away, unable to offer even the smallest comfort.

My love, get well soon. I miss your laughter, your presence – they're a part of my life I can't bear to be without for long. The distance feels heavier when I know you're not well.

Today, during the heist, I saw a small brown cat with delicate white spots. The sight of it was like a reminder of simpler times, of moments when things were less complex. It stirred memories of my old cat "Spots," whose antics used to provide a reprieve from the realities of the Barrel.

As I look around, I find myself yearning for the day when I'll return to Ketterdam. Until then, my thoughts are with you, my love. Rest well, recover soon, and know that I will be there soon.

With all my affection,

Kaz

16th letter

Dearest Y/N,

There are times in life when words are inadequate, when even the most eloquent phrases fall short of capturing the depth of one's emotions. Today is one such day, and I find myself grappling with a sentiment that defies my usual precision.

I love you, Y/N. There, I've said it, though the words seem almost insufficient to convey the weight of my feelings. You've woven your presence into the very fabric of my being, and I find that I'm navigating uncharted territory, stumbling upon emotions that have long remained dormant.

In a world marked by uncertainties, you've become my constant, the one I turn to when the winds of the Barrel grow fierce. I cherish our bond, our shared history, and the future we're forging together.

As the days pass, my conviction only grows stronger. You've touched a part of me I thought was unreachable, and I find myself grateful for the warmth you've brought into my life.

Love,

Kaz

4th note

I love you too, more than words can express.

- Love, y/n!

17th letter

My Love,

I've stumbled upon something while on my trip to Lij, a revelation that caught me by surprise. My old house is up for sale. I confess, it's a notion that's been hovering in the back of my mind, a possibility I've been toying with.

And then, as if fate had a hand to play, it occurred to me – what if we made it our own? Y/N, would you consider it? The thought of creating new memories in a space that's intertwined with my past is something that holds a certain allure. A place where we could carve out our own sanctuary, away from the schemes and chaos that surround us.

If this notion speaks to you, let me know. It's a step I'd only take with you, a shared decision that would mark a new chapter in our journey together.

Love,

Kaz

18th letter

This is to certify that Y/N L/N and Kaz Brekker is (are) now registered as the absolute proprietor(s) of the land comprised in the above-mentioned title, subject to the entries in the register relating to the land and to such of the overriding interests set out in section 30 of the Registered Land Act as may for the time being subsist and affect the land.

Kaz Brekker __________

19th letter

My love Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits, even though I’m far away in Shu Han. I wanted to share something with you – I stumbled upon the perfect dining table. It’s a piece that seems to embody the essence of what we’ve built together, a symbol of the life we’re crafting, even from a distance.

As I stand here, thousands of miles away, my thoughts are never far from Ketterdam, from you. Every corner of the city is a reminder of our shared journey, of the future we’re molding. And with every passing day, I find myself longing to return, to be by your side again.

The plans we’ve made, the dreams we’ve spun – they’re a driving force, propelling me forward through the challenges that Shu Han presents. I promise you, Y/N, I’ll be back soon enough.

Until then, know that you’re in my thoughts, my heart, every moment of the day.

With all my affection,

Kaz

20th letter

Love,

I’ve come across some interesting information that might be of use to you. It seems that there’s a rumor circulating about a certain merchant in the Fifth Harbor. This merchant, it’s said, has been trying to make deals with both the Merchants Council and the Whitecrows, something that has my interest piqued.

I’ve also managed to uncover some details about a potential source of counterfeit currency that might be making its way into the hands of certain unsavory individuals. The source, surprisingly, seems to be tied to a printing press hidden away in the Barrel. It’s a curious development, one that could have far-reaching consequences.

And finally, I’ve received word that a shipment of goods has gone missing from a storage warehouse near the docks. This might not seem significant at first glance, but it’s the timing that intrigues me. A missing shipment, coupled with the merchant’s deals and the counterfeit currency – it’s all connected, I’m certain of it.

Stay vigilant, stay cautious. And know that even in the midst of our separate tasks, you’re in my thoughts.

I miss you, and I love you.

Love,

Kaz

21st letter

Y/N,

Listen to me, and listen carefully. You need to come back to Ketterdam, now. What you walked into, it was a trap – calculated, deliberate. I can’t explain it all in this letter, but trust me when I say your safety is in jeopardy.

I don’t care what you’re in the middle of, what plan you’re executing – drop it, and make your way back. I can’t lose you, not now, not like this. The threat is real, and the longer you stay where you are, the more danger you’re in.

I’m begging you, Y/N, hurry back. We can sort through the details, I’ll explain everything, but right now, all that matters is your safety. Don’t delay, don’t second-guess. Just come back.

Kaz

22nd letter

Love,

I’m pleading with you, begging you to reach out, to let me know you’re safe. This silence, it’s a torment I can’t bear. Every thought is tinged with worry, and I find myself grappling with scenarios that are far too grim.

I don’t care about the details, the reasons – they pale in comparison to my overwhelming need to know you’re okay. We’ve faced down darkness together, navigated treacherous waters, and I can’t accept the idea of you being lost in the midst of it all.

Please, Y/N, come back to Ketterdam. If you’re reading this, if you’re anywhere, find a way to let me know you’re alive. I’ll make sense of the rest later. Just, my love, come back to me.

Kaz

23rd letter

Y/N,

I can’t wait any longer. The silence is a weight on my chest, a suffocating reminder of the unknown. I’ve agonized, I’ve begged, and still, there’s no word from you. It’s time I take matters into my own hands.

Please, hold on. I’m coming. I hope you’re okay, I hope you’re just out of reach, waiting for me to catch up. It’s a risk I have to take.

I love you.

Stay strong, my love. I’m on my way.

24th letter

My Dearest Y/N,

It's been a week since you left us, a week of darkness and aching emptiness that nothing can fill. I know you won't get this letter, that these words will remain suspended in the void, but I find myself needing to put them down, needing to release the feelings that have taken hold of me.

The pain is suffocating, a weight that's settled into my bones. I still can't grasp the reality, can't accept that you're gone, that your light has been extinguished. It's a void that stretches beyond comprehension, a void I'm stumbling through.

The memories are a double-edged sword. They're a balm, a reminder of the moments we shared, of your laughter, your warmth. But they're also a blade, a reminder of what's been taken from us, of the future that was stolen away.

I want you to know, even though you'll never read these words – I love you. I always have, and I always will. You were more than a partner, more than a confidant. You were my anchor, my solace, my reason to keep pushing forward.

It's impossible to fathom life without you, Y/N. Your absence leaves a void that can never be filled. I can only hope that wherever you are, you're at peace, free from the pain that's gripped my heart.

Until we meet again, my love,

Kaz

25th letter

My dearest Y/N,

Six months have passed, and the ache of your absence has only deepened. The city, our city, is a different place without you. The crows, the ones you brought together, are slowly finding their separate paths, their separate destinies. It's as if the world itself is reshaping in your absence.

I found the little box where you kept all those letters. Your letters, my words – I'm surprised, in a way, that you kept them all. It's a piece of you that I'll treasure forever.

It's in these moments of solitude that I find myself yearning for your presence the most. Your laughter, your insights – they're still very much alive in my memories, and they continue to guide me through the labyrinthine twists of this world.

I miss you, Y/N. More than words can say. The void you left behind is as vast as the Barrel itself, and there's a hollowness that's impossible to fill. I can only hope that, wherever you are, you've found the peace that eluded you in life.

Until the next time we meet, my love,

Kaz

26th letter

My Dearest Y/N,

Time has continued its relentless march, and two years have slipped through my grasp since you left us. The city, once our canvas, has taken on a different hue, a different weight. The crows have scattered, their paths diverging, and the life we built together feels like a distant memory.

I wanted to share something with you – I've made a decision about the house, the one that once held the echoes of our shared history. It's a decision born out of the reality that without you, it's ceased to be a home. The walls, the rooms – they're empty without your presence, and it's a stark reminder of what's been lost.

Putting it up for sale again, it's not just about letting go of a physical space. It's about acknowledging that our time together, our shared moments, live on in memories, not in bricks and mortar. I carry you with me, always, but it's time to release the hold the house had on me.

Life continues to move forward, though it's a path I tread with a shadow that can never be dispelled. I hope, wherever you are, you've found the peace that eluded you in life. And I hope, wherever I am, you're watching over me, your presence a guiding light through the darkness.

With a heart full of love,

Kaz

27th letter

My dearest,

It's been almost three years, and some days it feels like it was just yesterday when I last saw you. I miss you, fuck, I miss you so much. It's like this gaping hole, this emptiness that can't be filled. No matter how many schemes I plan, no matter how many crows I put to work, it's like there's this void that's always there.

I was gonna do it, you know? I was gonna ask you. I got this ring, this small little thing that I bought just a month before you fucking died. It's funny, you know, I never thought I'd be the one to feel this way, to want something that much, to want to stake a claim in this shithole of a world.

But I guess that's what you did to me. You turned this cold, calculating schemer into someone who wanted more, who wanted you. I'm sorry I didn't ask you sooner, that I waited, that I let time slip through my fingers like sand. I'm sorry I couldn't be the one you deserved.

You were my light, Y/N. You shined a light into my darkest corners, and now that you're gone, it's like the shadows have returned with a vengeance. I need you, I need you so fucking much it's like a knife in my gut every damn day.

I don't know where you are, what's out there after this life, but I hope you're somewhere better. I hope you're at peace, and I hope you know that I'm here, waiting in this shithole, missing you every fucking day.

I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much it hurts. And I wish... I wish I could've showed it more when you were still here.

With all my shattered pieces,

Kaz

28th letter

Deer Y/N,

This will be the last letter I write to you, and as I put pen to paper, I’m filled with a mixture of emotions that words could never truly capture. The passage of time has been unkind, separating us by years that have felt both fleeting and eternal.

It’s strange, the way grief works. It’s a steady ache that never truly fades, an ache I’ve grown accustomed to carrying. There’s an emptiness in my heart that’s become a part of me, a void that can never be filled by anyone or anything else.

I’ve learned to navigate this world without you, though it’s been a journey fraught with challenges and moments of unbearable pain. There’s a longing, a yearning, that can never be quenched. You were my constant, the force that kept me grounded, and now that you’re gone, there’s a piece of me that will forever remain incomplete.

As time marches on, I find myself grappling with a heartbreaking reality – the sound of your voice is fading from my memory. The way you felt, the touch of your hand in mine, it’s becoming harder to recall. It’s as though the vibrant details of your presence are slipping through my fingers, leaving behind a hazy impression.

And oh, Y/N, the thought that your laughter will never again reach my ears, it’s a pain that reverberates through my very being. Your face, once etched in my mind with unparalleled clarity, is beginning to blur around the edges. The little details that I once treasured, the nuances that made you uniquely you, they’re slipping away, like grains of sand carried by the wind.

I love you, Y/N. Those words have become a mantra, a whispered refrain that echoes in the corners of my mind. I carry your memory with me, every step of the way, and I hold onto the hope that, wherever you are, you’ve found the peace that eluded you in life.

As I place this letter alongside the others, a part of me hopes that somehow, somewhere, you’ll receive these words, that you’ll know that you were loved, that you’re still loved, even in your absence.

I miss you, “we all misses you very much.”

Love, Kaz!

[ultra-raging-ghost]

I REACHED POST LIMIT SO HERES MY POST FROM 9:20 ONWARD

"Goodbye my three little ones, your father has to go"

"Im sorry chat, i guess ill just speak from the heart. the way i lost dapper and pomme i dont think i really.. had time to process, so losing him like this feels like losing all three of them at the same time"

Visiting bagis... poor zeno fucking died to a rooster LMAO i missed bagis place so fucking bad

searching for pepito.... where is my baby.... where is my little pepito, there pepito is

Bad doesnt really know what to do with himself, hes still sad but richas is like. Officially gone. Which is a crazy thing to process. I was having a hard time dealing with it but i think richas' final goodbye made me feel a lot better about it,it doesnt feel like theres a nail in the back of my brain now, im a little more content with this at least. Wont really be happy about it, but more content with it

We're gonna go leave a richas flower (blue orchid) at bagi's old base <3 just like how we left a cornflower at a place special to pomme.

hehehe agent 18/panks_ is in chat and theyre tormenting bad for fun

Offering pepito the opportunity to visit one last place, bad plans on coming back and visiting a couple final places sometime soon, not tonight but soon. Probably gonna end after pepito picks where to go

pepito cant think of anywhere, bads picking one more place to go

PEPITO TIME AT THE OFFICIAL DAPPER TIME SPOT??? LETS GOOOOO

Pepitos gonna be temporarily dapper while in the official dapper time spot <333

bads back, i got so comfortable in the old house that i forgot we have to leave. Just a wave of sadness washed over me, it feels like leaving home all over again, it feels like we should be able to walk into the old spawn from dappers train station and see pierre and pomme and etoiles again

pomme in chat... assuring bad she and dapper wont be leaving any time soon. Bad promises us he has some really fun stuff hes been working on he thinks we'll enjoy, this journey isnt over

while waiting for pepito we're reminiscing on when he had to triangulate the Dont have Your Gun thing that was playing that he couldnt find LMAO

currently visiting the old subway bad was building with dapper underground.... the new terrain generation generated a FULL end city RIGHT next to it!!!!

gonna visit bobby fields another day, thats another day issue, but dapper wanted to go see it with him lol

Bad found out Lullah and Richas were leaving yesterday, sounds like he didnt know chay was leaving till today

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO BOO IS HERE!!!! HELLO BOO!!!!!!

Pepitos playing around in the balloons Boo left <33

Bad: Yeah i remember when pomme and dapper came in one of these end cities and scared the muffins out of me Pomme: ?????? Pomme: bro you were dead Bad: I STILL REMEMBER.......

We're gonna go play Wordlos (or however you spell it) one last time before leaving the old spawn <3 gonna see if we can get it to work!!!

kinda works!!! Kinda!!! It mostly works!!!! gonna play!!!!!

"I am so proud of your spanish uncle bad!!! its a great advance to know how to explain something, its the most important thing"

We're looking at the paintings, this is it for the day. Richas logged off with bads statue painting so hes probably never gonna see that again LMAO "thats why we get screenshots"

Pepitos saying a little goodnight to the ghosties <33 pepitos gonna eat all of us up because we're so cute. "I see everything, too. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Pepitos telling us to rest, eat, and drink water, and do our favorite things. We deserve it, to remember not to be sad it ended but be happy it happened at all <3

Bads planning on streaming tomorrow, hes not 100% sure what we'll be doing but he isnt gonna let this crank his steam

Pepitos planning on getting on tomorrow! or whenever! pepito doesnt know when pepito gets on LMAO

Thats all for todays stream, ending at 10:15, goodnight bad, richas, pomme, and dapper <3

[antiscorbutic]

welcome to my polar explorers sideblog !

books n things ive read / some thoughts etc (updated frequently)

> Endurance - Caroline Alexander

what I started with. v good read imo pretty succinct and flows nicely. not too hero-worshippy iirc, nice pictures

> The Worst Journey in the World - Apsley Cherry-Garrard

I read (listened to) the audiobook narrated by Simon Vance and really liked it! tbh I wasn't super deep in to all this when I started it and was kind of shocked at how readable it was. my favorite part is birdie's letter about the land crabs.

also in general it's really nice to get an actual pov account -- the secondary books are lovely for helping muddle through sources and stuff but I get annoyed with how much time is spent on the Famous bits and not the unglorious monotony, which i love hearing about. I gotta read some actual diaries

> Madhouse at the End of the Earth - julian sancton

JESUS I did not know anything about the belgica going in AND I'd just watched aliens (1986) and WHY are there narrative parallels this shouldn't be real??? also amundsen is a real freak (<- value neutral)

> Endurance (2024)

uhhh sorry kids I hated this. I know it's based on the guys book but like the parallel heroic narrative thing was so icky to me. also the AI voices were giving "we didn't want to pay voice actors" and!!! fucking pointless to end it when you find the ship I want to know about the ship!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to watch a doc about the ship not about some people who found the ship. tragic for me

> Shackleton (2002) - TV miniseries with Kenneth Branagh

actually loved this. there was clearly so much attention and care put in to little historical details and even with all the silly dramatic Kenneth monologues i really enjoyed it

> The Great White Silence (1924) - Herbert Ponting

fucking WILD that as a card carrying member of the attention-span-ruined tiktok generation that as soon as I found this I was GLUED to the screen for the full like 2.5 hours or however long it is. seriously jumpscared by the cat's racial slur of a name (as ever) but honestly it's a good reminder of the colonial context we're in here so I kind of appreciate it. anyway absolutely mind boggling to see this early footage of the adelie penguins etc when I grew up watching them in planet earth and have always kind of taken their existence for granted. and I think the telling of the actual polar journey was pretty touching for being obviously like the same 15 seconds of footage of a miniature

> Endurance - Alfred Lansing

eh I didn't need to read both this and the caroline alexander book. it was fine. I always wish they'd spend more time on the elephant island castaways and less time on the small boat journey. I get that that's the like, famous impressive part, but I'm here to be reminded of the horror that it is to be alive day after day and I think more time should be spent on that monotony. also he didn't talk about the post-expedition AT ALL and I need my little "where they are after the reality TV series ended" title cards

> Amundsen (2019)

didn't finish it. too much back-at-home drama not enough being on the ice

> The Last Place on Earth (1985)

I haven't read the scott v amundsen book it's based on but jesus whoever wrote that must have fucking hated scott. I'm not saying they're wrong necessarily I'm no expert i AM saying hes wrong fuck this guy!!!! but holy shit did scott look like an incompetent asshole even compared with all the other incompetent assholes. needed more screen time of young hugh grant as cherry

> basically any bbc special about explorers

PLEASE correct me if I'm missing anything but lord I stg every one of these is the worst pro imperialism hero worship bullshit of all time. "james cook was a really nice guy actually" are you fucking kidding me

> empire of ice and stone - buddy levy

this is my first arctic account and I have. a lot of thoughts and feelings about the way arctic expeditions interact w indigenous people that I don't want to get into here. truly baffled by the number of polar bears they interacted with. also fuck stefansson so much like okay fine you left the ship but go find it again??? fucking rescue them?????

> in the kingdom of ice - Hampton sides

okay this might be my favorite modern account I've read. I love how much context is provided ... like I have Thoughts and Feelings about John Muir but his diaries being included and GOD Emma's letters being interspersed was fucking devastating. definitely the most emotional I've gotten. and all the interludes to explain the geography of a region and what its called now or in russian and even all of the many chapters about bennett added so much for me. AND giving full accounts of each group after they split the party without one getting only briefly summarized in favor of the other but also without making the timeline confusing???? -- I say this all even though hampton committed what to me is the cardinal sin of these books: skipping time that's "boring". a whole year of monotony??? julian sancton only you understand me

> labyrinth of ice - buddy levy

augh. OUAGHE. oughe!!!! I am devastated. good book :(

> alone on the ice - david roberts

not my favorite .... the author is clearly bitter that mawson is not as famous and heroic to history as someone like shackleton. also I really think he should have stuck to a linear narrative structure instead of jumping around. zero mention of possible cannibalism

not historical but overlaps / scratched a similar itch:

> outlaw ocean - ian urbina

modern investigative journalism on lawlessness on the high seas. fucking hard to read because it's largely about like, human trafficking. even the "light" stories are still rough. really, really good read though and i liked hearing about recent trawling and whaling in the south and thinking about it in relation to historical whaling etc

> frozen planet (2011)

I mean I'm a huge sucker for any attenborough nature doc esp the planet earth extended universe but this was also specifically produced around the 100th anniversary of amundsen & scott reaching the pole and I love to think about the boys seeing the penguins and seals etc for the first time .... wonderful stuff

> the thing 1982

I think I'm probably the last person to watch this one so I don't think I can add much commentary but as someone who has seen approx. 3 horror movies and two were alien and aliens I did not think it was as scary as it could have been. I do like a horrible Beast though so maybe that's on me

currently in progress!!!!!!!!!

> Erebus - Michael Palin <- I have the ebook instead of the audiobook so I'm making my way through it slowly :-)

> ice ghosts - Paul watson

other things I have out from the library but haven't started:

> eight bears - Gloria dickie (not directly relevant but highly recommended to me)

> late Victorian holocausts - Mike Davis <- a little too academic for me to parse easily but Mike ily and I think it's healthy to read about other things happening around the same era

> left hand of darkness

> against the ice - Ejnar mikkelsen

> to the edges of the earth - Edward larson

^ huge s/o to @jesslovesboats's sad boat books lists btw for helping me find more sad boat books that my library has audiobooks of <3 (im very much an audiobook guy so while I'm frothing to read more diaries and shit I have a hard time with it. yet another tragedy for me personally)

[thebigpalooka]

Sonic 3 Sonic 3

I've now seen Sonic 3! Welcome back, 2/3s of my dash that I had blocked lol

Spoiler-free impressions, but still behind a cut for those who don't want to draw inferences lol:

TL;DR, Sonic 3 is wonderful and tons of fun, but Sonic 2 was probably peak for my personal taste.

As others have said, Sonic 1 was very different from the games and each movie has now shifted a bit closer in terms of action and pacing. I adored the first movie but I totally get why a lot of folks who thought it was just okay are delighted with the direction things are going. Personally, I just found things a bit rushed on a character level, which was the element that was so charming in the first, admittedly un-Sonic-gamey movie. They hit every note you would want and expect, they just hit them VERY VERY FAST and it does feel like a game where you see an emotional cutscene, the screen fades, and then you begin an action level immediately after lol. Nothing is precisely missing, but quite a lot is kind of just ... told, not really shown.

I adored Shadow, as expected, and was very happy with how they adapted SA2's story generally, but I felt he suffered some of the same problems Tails did in the previous movie, which is that there was too much ground to cover to really develop his emotional arc. It exists, but there's no meat to it, nothing to chew at all, it's a meal replacement shake, one gulp just to get a taste, second gulp, gone. Sonic, too, has a perfunctory character arc in the movie, but it's very shallow: we're told what it is, it occupies a very few minutes of screentime and then resolves in the only way it possibly could. The previous two films felt like we were really seeing things through Sonic's eyes, for the most part; that's really not the case here, and I struggle to describe whose eyes we ARE really looking through, other than Dr. Robotnik.

And that brings me to probably the aspect of the movie I enjoyed the least, even though that's going to be entirely YMMV for people on an individual basis: there was too much Jim Carrey for me, lol. Way, way too much. For obvious reasons, there's a lot of Robotnik in this movie, but it isn't just an issue of lots of screentime: this story is honestly Robotnik's story more than it is anyone else's, and that was ... kind of a bummer to me? Again, a lot of folks disliked how much the previous two movies focused on the human characters, and here, that has been drastically scaled back for everyone else, but seemingly every moment of that screentime is now occupied by Jim Carrey. And he's very good, and very funny, and I'm not even mad about it, but I do wish some of that time had gone to Shadow instead, or indeed, Sonic himself. Creating an emotional journey for a character who didn't really need one and is arguably better without it felt like a shame when it came at the expense of Shadow's story, and I found myself honestly sort of hoping for a new villain in the next movie. It feels like we're running out of juice to squeeze here.

But, end of the day, I AM still completely looking forward to another movie, now more than ever, and truthfully, I'm not sure I've ever wanted to see a Sonic movie MORE than I want to see Sonic 4, lol.

So TL;DR 2: go see Sonic 3 at once and draw lots of fanarts and write lots of fanfics. It hits pretty much all the right notes, it just hits a few of them too loud and misses a few of the spaces between.

[cyber-corp]

2023: The year of all time

This felt like the first year post-COVID where things really kicked into high gear for me personally. My new year's resolution was that I would go out and have fun for once.

And had fun I did.

I did some voicework reading for a story podcast, I went to a bunch of amazing concerts (nothing beats seeing Weird Al for my birthday!), and I sorted out a bunch of RL stuff and put a neat little bow on it. Thank goodness.

But fuck all that sappy shit: Here's a small collection of things I really enjoyed this year!

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse: An excellent sequel to a seemingly unfollow-uppable first film. Takes everything from ITSV, and amps it up to twenty with a stunning visual style, a sonically fitting soundtrack, and a meta-commentary on the nature of Spider-Man's character and whether they really deserve all the tragedy thrown at them.

Aunty Donna's Coffee Cafe: The guys who made Pud did another show, this time with funding from the Australian Government! While stripped back in its setting, they continue to provide the same stupid bullshit that put me into laughing fits as they did with their Netflix show. Haven't they done well.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off: I think when people heard about "An animated Scott Pilgrim show with the live-action cast and Edgar Wright producing", they did not expect "A proper dissection of Ramona Flowers' character and her motivations, as well as her own journey of forgiving the Evil Exes. Also lots of yaoi." Scott Pilgrim continues to dominate as the premier "guy learns not to be a shithead" franchise.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Live in Accor Stadium: The Peppers prove their pertained power as performers by playing the purest psalms in their prospectus from the past 35 years (eugh, what a mouthful). Flea came out, did a 30-second handstand, waved and said hello to the moon and then got up some people littering in the crowd. Their life is more than just a read-through.

Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You: I had absolutely no clue who Caroline was before I listened to this album. I now realise that she might just be the person that pop needs right now. A soaring collection of songs destined to become classics down the line, like a greatest hits compilation that doesn't exist. We're all on Caroline's island, and we ain't leaving.

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk: I kept my eye on this game as it was developing, and it was absolutely worth it to see it come through in the end. Satisfying gameplay that requires you to learn how to combo to progress, an addicting artstyle inspired by Y2K, and the soundtrack. Holy fuck the soundtrack. I just can't get enuf.

Weird Al Yankovic - TUROTRSIIIVT: Man, what a title. Emu Phillips come out swinging with jokes I did not expect, and then Weird Al comes out aggressively swinging, with all the songs you don't know him for. He then did a polka melody of his parodies, did a ritual halfway through, and then ended the concert on a high note. Only the best from Strange Alfred.

Doctor Who 2023 Specials: That bastard David Tennant returning led me down the rabbit hole known as watching Doctor Who, and did it ever pay off more than these specials. A trans woman saves the day and the Doctor realises he's bi, black, and needs therapy. A magnificent close on a chapter of one of the greatest sci-fis ever, and a bright step into the future.

The Hyperfixation of the Year award goes to none other than

Homestuck, everyone's favourite webcomic! Everyone's.

And I think that's partly because I joined this website to begin with. I probably say this all the time, but leaving Reddit was probably the best decision I could have made at that time. As much as I reminisce, the communities I was in began to get a little stale. Same jokes, same shitposts, a different day. Tumblr in some strange way, is not that. It feels less like a big communal website and more like a collection of small towns spread across a large spot of land. Calm and village-like, you know?

So to all my mutuals, my followers, to the people that liked and reboggled my stinky posts, to all that offered mealworms and crickets in my askbox, thank you. "Gecko Boy" might just be a silly lil joke in the grand scheme of things, but it's a fun joke to play into.

Whatever comes next year, I know I've got the energy to keep going. Have a good 2024 everybody. <3

[nyxcreate]

hi nyx! love your posts on twitter! i had a question and epiphany while while studying and wanted to let you know.

just wanted to ask how you feel abt 3d showing you the old story especially if it's the opposite? ik this might sound repetitive but say you do fulfill yourself,. you truly feel fulfilled, then the 3d shows you the opposite. usually i wouldn't feel anything but if it's something serious, it can throw me off sometimes? ik that we're not supposed to be persfect in this, i cant help but think that what i imagined is all greater than everything?

sure the 3d can show what it wants you feel your emotions no matter how "BAD" they seem and then what? nothing. you know that you have it right? you knew you fulfilled yourself, not only to get something from outside but within. you gave yourself the thing you so badly wanted outside of you, within. so now what? nothing. you just go along with your day, no matter how tough it may seem on the outside you gave yourself what you wanted, right? is that how we're supposed to go on with our days? just knowing that it's done, that we've done what we had to do? given ourselves what we had to give, how can the 3d NOT give us what we gave ourselves?

same with the when and how! i figured it out that it doesn't exactly matter?

you focus too much on what’s happening. It does not matter what the 3d is showing you, you are not fulfilled, because you are expecting (dare I say, demanding) a change. There’s nothing wrong with knowing a change will follow but your whole focus is on how to get it, the end result.. instead of being here and now. Focus and enjoy the journey, not the destination. Your imagination is God.

[uhohbestie]

[Spoilers] Gosh.. I was a bit late to the chapters because of school and helping my friend read(she thought Tilly was a person and not a dog and read the same part for twenty minutes to understand it) but I just caught up and I don’t know what to say- the newest chapter just broke me and UGH!!! JOELLL!! I don’t know what to do. I need to know what happens to him. Also the end!!! Scar and Grian going over everything they’ve done and the people they’ve saw!! I can’t- I cried- I’m not ready for this fic to be over. I seriously Don’t know what I’ll do with myself after it’s over. All I can think about is this fic and how good it is and just ahhh!!!!! I love scar and Grian so much in this and I can’t stop thinking about how many thirdlife references are there. Also Grian is still hungry so I can’t help but think he’ll eat scar just like he killed scar in thirdlife- I loved this chapter and it’s really making me cry. I’m happy they finally are together though. I now want five more fics and a movie/jk

Anyway! I’m happy I got to be here to accompany on the long journey and I can’t wait to read the last one. Like I said before I’ll always be here to see what you guys make next and I’ll be excited for it. I’ll go make art now or just think about TAMN if no zombies and Grian no cheat cause I need a bit of happiness before the epilogue.

We're so glad you liked the new chapter! :D >:D It was one we had a lot of fun writing, and were so excited (and nervous) to finally post, so we're both really glad it's been enjoyed (and made people cry)!

Admittedly we've both been going through own emotional roller coaster when it comes to being this close to the end of TAMN, but it means a lot to hear that people are excited for whatever will come next! :') Working on TAMN and sharing it has been a big part of our day-to-day for soooo long, and I know it'll feel weird not to have updates to queue and post every week. That being said! We have a LOT more planned for TAMN, and the story itself is far from over! So while it is the end of this fic, think of it as a break between seasons, rather than the ultimate finale forever, and hopefully that can soften the hurt for the time being! (And of course we'll both still be here, actively making things and posting!)

As sad as I am to say goodbye to TAMN, I am really really happy that we finished it, and excited for all the things we get to dive into next! >:D <3 -🔒

[thechaseofspades]

DT17 Anniversary Posting

So I've heard around the cafeteria that there's a theme for today centered around people's favorite episodes. Well, I don't have [a] favorite episode. But I can narrow it down to 1 per season, so let's go with that.

(P.S. if you were tagged in this post it's because I gave you cool people a shoutout at the end.)

S1: The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!

When I first watched this show, this episode was the one where I realized things were serious. This wasn't just a funny duck show. It's definitely still funny and a duck show, but it's so much more than that.

On Disney+, this episode comes right after Lena is possessed by Magica, so my mind was 100% on that heading in. Instead, we got the resolution to Dewey's arc and the mystery of Della Duck... or so we thought!

Sure, we found out Della's fate, but that was almost secondary to the family drama, especially between Dewey and Scrooge. It's very intense, and even when we get the answers we're looking for, the questions all change.

I don't need to explain why this episode is good. It just is. The fact that I picked this episode, and not a Lena-centric one, shows how good it is.

S2: A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!

Alright fine. One Lena episode.

After Lena was brought back in "Friendship Hates Magic!", the question was, where do we go from here? I think they handled it very well, integrating her back into the kids' friend group while still letting the effects of Magica's abuse linger on.

I really enjoy the idea of characters' dreams showing their deepest fears and desires. The kind of stuff they would otherwise stash away when they're awake. This episode took that concept and sprinted with it.

I still think we ought to have had more sleepover episodes with all of the kiddos. When everybody is fighting for screen time in Season 3, this episode shows how you can balance several characters at once, even if Lena was the one getting the majority of the attention. The "Swanstantine" episode is another good example of this.

I mean, come on. We got Webby dressing herself up as Scrooge McDuck as soon as she realized she could do whatever she wanted. It was foreshadowed from the beginning!

S3: Astro B.O.Y.D.!

I've talked about this one before. It's one of my favorite pieces of autism rep. Boyd's journey in this episode really resonated, as well as his relationship with Huey.

In my opinion, the best part about it is how Huey relates to Boyd. Specifically not because he's a robot, but how Huey sees him as just a kid, just like him. The robot part is more of a neat quirk than anything. He's wired differently, literally, but they deserve a chance to be themselves.

And I appreciate how "Astro-B.O.Y.D!" gives Boyd a purpose as a character. I thought the bit in the Doofus episode where the villains try to pull the same con as Louie was fun, but Boyd didn't feel like much of a character, or at least no more of one than Sharkbomb was.

So "Astro-B.O.Y.D!" takes a character that very well could have had a one-off bit role, and made him something special. Made him somebody that a viewer can relate to, just as Huey did in the episode. Even just for 22 minutes, Boyd felt special. I felt special. I felt seen.

So yeah, that's my three. The fact that I can sit here and ramble about a half-decade old show that ended before I found it, is really cool. I'm so glad to have the chance to hang out with everybody here, whether we're discussing the best show in the history of time or doing literally anything else.

Shoutout to the people rallying the troops for today's anniversary... @secret-tester @justaboot @alexcanine @boingodigitalart @yeyeducks @cookieruby @the-richest-duck ... and to everyone else who's participated not just today but any day. We wouldn't be a community without the fine folks in it.