#at least she made it out omg
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Lou and Neighsayer are taking a trip down to the secret cave, where Lou has been making slow but steady progress in exploring.
However, an encounter with a t-rex cuts tonight's excursion short 😬
#at least she made it out omg#😆#i keep forgetting this cave exists but i want to fully explore it before the end of this gp#sims 4#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 story#sims 4 horses#sims 4 horse ranch#ts4#ts4 gameplay#ts4 story#ts4 horses#ts4 horse ranch#horse ranch gp#palomino ranch#louise “lou” carrington#neighsayer the horse
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me n moze say good morning to the world !!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
art by @rabbbitseason of course <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#<-#hehe i took inspo from kai’s rb of my mb:>#MY FIRST MOEVIE COMM#this is queued#im asleep (at least i should be by the time this is posted) but it’s a mystery as to how i will fall asleep knowing i would have to#close my eyes and not actively stare at this for the rest of my life#full factory reset i really don’t know what i would even say to this 🥹 im just#things i would do for bitti : anything! i cannot think of something i wouldn’t do for her#i gave her the most cursed ref known to mankind and she came up with this im so 🥹 thank you so much … your art blows me away every time ….#i may pass out seeing him in your style … the way you did his hands and he’s so big#this is me -> ໒꒰ྀི o̴̶̷̤ ̯o̴̶̷̤ ꒱ྀི১ at this HSJDNCN aaaaaa 🥹#i will also state the very obvious and say that bitti is such a pleasure to work with ajsnxnkck ….. please im on my knees#when i saw this- my stomach literally flipped inside out and my ears were ringing .. and my heart was beating a million beats per second#if bitti’s comms were open for eternity & i won the lottery- i would commission so many mozes ….. the world would be full of bitti’s mozes.#^ though that sounds terrible for bitti … im so sorry#i swear that won’t happen i would never do that to you#he is sooooo yum in your style (severe & outrageous understatement)#but what i can do is stare at this all day#THANK YOU BITTI UEUEJJSJS 🥹🥹🥹 I HOPE UR PILLOWS R ALWAYS COLD !!!#not even aventurine’s shield can protect me from the 100000000 damage i took from this /pos#such a shield doesn’t exist in the hsr realm or the real world !!!#evie.ss#IM KIND OF ANGRY THAT I KNOW THERES NOTHING I CAN SAY TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL !!!!! WHAT COULD I SAY >:#WHAT AN ODD FEELING WHERE I AM reduced to my knees but from positive emotions alone …#im so dizzy /pos let me stop here this is already so long omg 🥹#edit: dude /gn my screen time is gonna skyrocket because im still staring with such a dopey smile on my face ahsndnxkc gosh im happy :’) th#thank you so much bitti …. this means so much to me#i literally can not put into words how much this has made my entire year :’)) im so soft im so happy
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today I'm thinking about "I blame myself for what you've become"
#merlin and morgana#I've just finished reading that long meta post#I don't agree that morgana turning evil was merlin's fault#she made her own choices#but. he certainly tipped the scales#and he wasn't portrayed as entirely blameless in the show#at least insofar that “coming out” to morgana might have prevented her descent into evil#maybe. possibly.#but there's no way of knowing that#anyway#the point that said The Wicked Way is the last episode in which Merlin fights for his rights (!!)#I don't entirely agree there either bc of ep 5x10#but it's true he lost the will to fight for his freedom after that :(#omg that's so sad#ramblings#*
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Jobless™️. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went “omg im so sorry...anyways i have bad news”#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like 🤝 fired buddies 🤝 time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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Anastasia the Musical sucks so bad. They really said "We're gonna cut the best song from the movie - just axe the absolute banger that is 'In the Dark of the Night' - because we are being SERIOUS and GROWN-UP now. We are A Big Historical Realism Musical Now. This is FOR REAL, okay!? We don't have a SILLY villain like Rasputin! We have Gleb! [Please Just Clap.] We are HISTORICALLY GROUNDED. -- Anyway, here's a musical unironically glorifying the Russian monarchy~~ 💖😌💖😌💖😌💖"
#anastasia#anastasia musical#Anastasia movie#anastasia the musical#that said everything added in relation to Sophie and Vlad was 👌👌👌 chef's kiss#to add insult to injury they use the tune from in the dark of the night in a solemn dirge about the pain of having to leave one's country#I'm not actually against adding more historical realism into Anastasia but you have to give the monarchy that treatment as well#if you want to actually reckon with the oppressive regime of Russia in that time period you can't give a free pass to the monarchy#they're like completely uninterested in why the revolution happened and everything in relation to the royal family is#this glittering nostalgic shallow thing. which also describes the original but that at least had a campy magical historical fiction angle#that made suspending disbelief pretty easy. also how dare you add more ballads i mean for fuck's sake#I don't care if Anya and Dimitri saw each other TWO times as children instead of one! i don't care! i don't need a 6 minute song about it!#he's like 🎵 i saw you in a parade once. gosh the monarchy sure had some pretty parades and beautiful spectacle 🎵#and she's like 🎵 omg i remember you that's crazy i sure did love being a part of the family of the Czar 🎵#if you're going to add an introspective song maybe have Anastasia reckon with how her father was a great father and a violent ruler!#maybe address the inherent emotional conflict of grieving genuine trauma and also recognizing the fault of the ruling class.#i have memories of rewinding the movie just for a second or third viewing of 'in the dark of the night'#memories of jamming out to it in the car with my friends. then clicking skip 100+ times on my friend's ipod shuffle just to play it again#original#been a while since I saw the musical but I still get mad about this sometimes. half-assed ''Realism'' means less fun and more glaring flaws#please just clap#it's not like there's nothing there to develop it's just that they did it bad. I'm fine with adding a sad song about leaving home but ffs#also why not make Gleb a campy weirdo? he's SO. BORING. at least fuck up in an entertaining way.
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because who's gonna vouch for her existence? who can say for sure that she is a real person who existed, say, 5 months prior to the game's events?
no one!!!!!
#like all the other party members have acquaintances (and sometimes family) that you meet#more often than not in the main plot; sometimes in a sidequest#heck even alphen who woke up from his Big Nap not too long ago has ppl in mosgul who have spent the past year with him#and like im sure if you think of any other character from the franchise#they have acquaintances that the party meets#but for shionne the only ppl we meet who know her from before are balseph and some of his goons maybe#THIS IS SO WEIRD#and like she implies(?) that she used to have a family but i guess i cant complain that theyre out of the picture#and you could argue “well thats the point. shes always been alone so naturally youre not gonna meet her buddies she doesnt have any”#i would argue that they stiĺ could have made a subquest where you meet a couple doctors/researchers who used to “care for” her#or a rando on lenegis who tells you how he once bumped into shionne as a kid and the memory forever remains with him bc it was#the worst pain hed felt in his life and omg is that her with you right now stay back stay back aaà aaaaa aaa#Like they dont even let you meet her doll#she refers to it as her only friend gdi#regardless of whether thats also alphens doll. can we see it?#can we come in contact with one thing that cements shionne's presence in this universe prior to the events of the game?#no????#all that coupled with the fact that the logistics of her arrival on dahna are such a headscratcher that fans had to ask tomizawa about it#and he refused to answer lmao#IM LOSING MY MIND GIVE SUBSTANCE TO THIS GIRL'S BACKSTORY BLEASE#arise curse#(not to mention that balseph and shionne' relationship is strictly Tom&Jerry-esque.#and it's impossible to parse for how long exactly he's know (of?) her)#(at least the few words they exchange pre-battle are still somewhat engaging and inform us on like. the Renan worldview. cool.)#shionne posting
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okay but Taylor’s prologue made me cry.
#it’s actually the first time (or one of at least!) where I feel like she’s put some of her own power into words really accurately#I love all of Taylor’s writing because it’s sincere and because it’s her#but her non-songwriting writing has always been fairly standard to me#sweet. sometimes funny. sometimes clever. but generally presenting some truth that’s fairly obvious#ljke even her midnights intro. go out searching for ourselves. twisting in our self-made cages#yeah yeah yeah#(the cages. we’ve all seen ‘em)#just rarely tapping into the truth of things the way her music does#so I was SHOOK when she started talking about the pressure she faced after fearless#and how she responded to it#like !!!!!!!! Omg there it is. the steel and the power that made her such a compelling force so early#and there it is!!!!! how deeply the criticisms about everything but especially her voice and her songwriting cut her open#also this re-recording project is so interesting because she CAN be more honest#first go around her MO was always to present things as positively and as graciously as she could while still making her points#but this lays all those parts of herself she worked to master and present in the best light bare#and I love to see it!#taylor swift#speak now (taylor’s version)
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feeling despair i don’t know how to put into words. im trying to figure out why im like this and how i got to be this way but i can’t even do it bc of the way i am and what im like. if that makes sense. like the problem prevents me from fixing the problem bc i can’t get to the root of it. despair despair despair
#purrs#delete later#basically i can’t internalize anything about myself. i can’t internalize that i am talented smart strong whatever and i can’t internalize#evidence that i matter and belong and am loved. i take in this evidence constsntly and it just evaporates. and then it’s like i have none of#it at all and im starving and shaking and dying and howling like a wretched little animal. and i live in this constant defaulstate of like..#feeling worthless and alone and utterly empty and like everything in my life is a dream or something. and in feeling that way and being#quite literally incapable of having emotional object permanence.. i actually make that situation real for myself. i make myself alone and#wretched. i isolate myself and shut down and don’t let myself take up the space i can. and it’s just awful. it’s unfixabke.#i just suck it all dry. i deny myself to myself and to everyone else. and idk what made me like this bc i don’t think i always used to be#this way w depression and depersonalization or whatever the fuck dsm 6 type shit i have going on. but i can’t internalize anything about#myself and my life and have no desire / willpower to look back beyond a certain point and really analyze and probe to figure out what#happened to me to make me like this so i can heal the core wound. soim just constantly in wretched tortured panicking creature mode. awesome#this cry for help brought to you by: my sister guilt tripping me into doing her laundry + my brother showing me his beautiful music +#realizing that unlike redacted i have not documented every part of my life and have no access to early childhood artifacts that would reveal#anything about me and that it does n’t even matter / isn’t special anyway. i love being normal 😎🫶🏻‼️#at least i haven’t been dissociating as badly about work stuff lately but. that’s definitely still a thing too so. what if my whole life is#just the wrong timeline i wasn’t supposed to be in and nothing is actually real. lawl 😳#this is a really awesome time for my therapist to be going on a monthlong honeymoon btw 😍 she deserves it so much but omg im dying already
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is Gillian Flynn just incapable of writing a single normal character in her books??
#look I’ve only read gone girl and sharp objects#But wtf why are people calling her books revolutionary and feminist#Amy Dunne is the product of a privileged background she’s not a classic example of female rage#Her male characters are 2d and unlikable they have barely any personality#Sharp objects was just a roulette of hmmm which fucked up thing shall I add to this book#I just don’t get the point#Writing a book isn’t smushing together as many traumatic scenes at once#And omg#Her endings are the worst#No retribution in gone girl? No closure in sharp objects?#Open endings are fine if the book at least made sense I just don’t GET what the point of it was#Also I figured out the ending for sharp objects like before the halfway point#I get it maybe it’s not for me#But people treating Amy dunne and the other women like feminist icons is just crossing the line#They are the very OPPOSITE of feminism like what#gone girl#sharp objects#idk man I’m just annoyed
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this is going to be a really bad week on the internet bc im gonna be forced to keep seeing what people online count as a Big Boy
#ive already seen so many people like when sza says she needs a big boy he could be tall or have a big dick NO. WRONG.#ALL THESE SONGS IN THE WORLD ABT WANTING A NONDESCRIPT MAN. JUST USE ONE OF THEM#the song is about FAT men if i see one more 6'1 beanpole like 'you want a big boy huh ? ;-)' im going to kill him#avpost#also side note i have no issue with the song out of context. but omg the video. from snl made me so angry#like yay the fat men show up and the audience immediately laughs. cool.#whys that funny exactly. oh bc fat men are being desired by women? got it.#the fact that its a joke song does bug me i choose to just enjoy the chorus and pretend its serious -_- denial is better.#plus it does at least SOUND like a regular song abt liking big boys. if you dont have the verses and the video
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Nate, there's a reason why everyone at the station hates Bobby and is not his news reports
#shitty boyfriend bobby agenda#tho imagine going on a picnic with Bobby#omg college studets the detective and bobby having a picnic date on campus and annoying everyone by staying in the middle of the road lool#i'm actually lowkey curious what dating Bobby was like. like did we go on dates??? or was more of a physical attraction that lead into sex#and they choose to date after that??? who made the first step??? probably bobby if he knew the detective was smart and all#but i could see the detective falling for Bobby and regretting it for the rest of their life#anyway#wayhaven 3#wayhaven book three#wayhaven nate#wayhaven bobby#tagging him cuz of the tags lol#ok but the idea of all the police station (captain included) hating the shit out of Bobby for strictly being my shitty ex?? wonderful 👌🏼#even Douglas sees Bobby does a double take and probably sends Tina a message about it because fuck that guy#omg but imagine the vibe around the station drastically changing when bobby gets inside and he doesn't even notice the death glares he gets#or if he does he isn't aware they are because of the detectivr hr thinks they are because of his news#i feel like verda has to stop tina from shooting/arresting bobby with no reason at least once. mostly to save tina from jailtime herself#Rebecca is more of a 'as long as i don't see him i don't feel the need to shoot' but trust me- she would have shocked the shit out of Bobby#if he wasn't sick in book 2. that reaction??? shitty relationship (between her and the detective I mean) or not she is feeling strong about#the detective's ex#anyway going back to book 3
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I feel like crying.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#today sucked#first that shit with the docs appointment - this happened already once before and I think it was the same receptionist and I think she#remembered last time too. fucking sucks TWICE AS MUCH#then my gold randomizer didn't want to work the way I wanted it to#the magmatoar in my fire type only brilliant diamond run disobeys me cuz it's traded#and the worst of all: my co intern at work#she makes me always feel so miserable#the way she's ''jokingly mocking'' me drives me crazy. and then she's always like ''omg. don't take everything so seriously 😒😒🙄🙄''#*while playing minecraft* she: 'oooh i see your house! your house that's made out of wood! and i coincidentally have a flint stone with me!#and when I told her to stay away she got offended and told me i can't take a joke#i think this was yesterday#today she was telling the teen i was playing with to punch me so i fall down#previously (some weeks ago. the first ones of the internship even?) she told like every teen that we were playing with to attack and kill m#I've already mentioned the uno one once but. where she sets up rules which obviously malefit me specifically#if you ask ''whos turn is it'' you have to draw a punishment card#this rule just makes me say nothing anymore. fuck you. i won't say a thing every again.#i feel like an idiot because of her#i already have a low self esteem / confidence and then denying that my beanie hat add coolness to me (for me) just makes me feel awful#makes me feel like a clown#i feel like trash thanks to her. hope you're happy and found some joy in making fun of me. in ridiculing me.#i fucking hated today but heeeyyyy at least i started the comic!! joy..#[ETA:#all of this made me wish once again that I have some SO waiting for me at home. that they are excited and happy to see me.#then we'll drink hot chocolate together. on a couch getting all cozy with fluffy blankets. cuddling and snuggling. while I tell them about#my day. then I'll watch them play something. maybe animal crossing. and I'll be slowly falling asleep on their shoulder. then they'll lift#me up and carry me to my bed and tug me in. and like just in general make me feel loved and valued#is this too much to ask for#]
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craaaaaaazy that my dad was apologizing for being angry in front of me earlier (hashtag number one trigger for yours truly) and his girlfriend was like "no you dont need to apologize" girl you just simply cannot be surprised your children dont like you very much if thats what your stance is
#my dad learned how to say sorry and it instantly made our relationship 10000000x better#isnt that crazy guys who wouldve predicted that omg#(sarcasm)#also crazy that she thinks she gets a say in my feelings at all but whatevs#like sorry im not crying and visibly breaking down ive only had to hide these things for 12 years#so yea. ive gotten pretty good at not being obvious about it#(i was punished further if i was obvious about it so that was a good motivator)#sorry for traumadumping on tumblr dot com but its just so crazy#i can only hope that she will move out soon#she also gets so bitchy whenever shes asked to pitch in financially as if she doesnt have over a million dollars#(we can barely afford rent and groceries)#(she needs 24/7 care which my dad is giving her)#(she doesnt pitch in at all for anything unless its directly for herself)#like ok. i feel bad because yaknow. ive already seen what altzheimers does to people#(rip grandma. her funeral is this friday. feel sooooo good about that. this week is awesome.)#but also she just hasnt endured a single hardship in her life and it shows in literally every interaction ive ever had with her#and i just dont eff with that i dont#personally i would never get with someone who doesnt know what its like to be denied or suffer a single time#it just really grinds me teeth dawg#she complains about the state of our shower yea girl its like that because we're poor and cant replace it#its falling apart because its cheap and we've had it for a decade#crazy how that works bro#ggrrrrrrrrrrr. sorry. its been 2 months and i am not adapting at all#i cant say ive been a fan#saw my mom yesterday btw. in the store. and it was awful#i thought i saw her car in the parking lot and so i was already feeling dread#have to see her again friday#oouuurgghhghhghhghhghgghh.#at least tomorrow should be fine. its wednesday. wednesday is a good day of the week#it will be almost 90 degrees however.
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oh you guys this job is SO boring it’s insane
#we literally have hours of just Nothing to do. i walk around in so many circles. i’ve never peed this many times in one day in my Life#but i’d much rather#this than it be painfully stressful#and Hey. job is job. just somehow still so exhausting to be doing absolutely nothing#my manager is rly nice but upper management is kind of horrible. the girl who trained me wed and thurs was very good nd helpful#and seems very nice. the girl who “’Trained’ me today made me sooooo fucking mad#like IMMEDIATELY gossiping and talking shit. hushed whispers about how our manager was crying because she recently found out her dad has#cancer??????? like What….. why are you acting like this is juicy info … why are u telling me and other girl who has been here for one week#omg and tTHEN. she left. during my lunch break. like two min before i was supposed to come back. because it was slow#and she made it seem like she was just leaving for lunch to our manager. but told girl who has been there a week that she was leavingleaving#kind of want to kill her. pissssssssed me off so ba#but whatever Lol just a blip. i’ll make it through. hopefully relevant job comes my way bc this is kind of killing me already. need mental#stimulation#but AGAIN job is job is job so i’m not complaining#ok however i did realize im being underpaid by at least a dollar so come the 30 day review i will#ok sorry i got distracted mid typing and i cant see what i said but come 30 day review i will be asking for a bump. Lol. ok bye im so tired
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Omg today was exhausting ( in a good way)
#I did so much today i feel like today happened in an hour omg#got up at 11 cause my mom needed to shop for shoes#I went somewhere cause I seriously needed white paint for project practice#got back home#help my dad put soil??? not sure the English word for it to balance the ground in the backyard#join my mom for a couple of store came back ate left again#my friend call went to her house for an hour#I wish I could have stay more but I’m tired it’s 10 pm she had to eat so I least#she told me to be annoying with sending text to hang out cause her head is a mess#but I’m not built like that I hate to be annoying 😭 jfbsjs#but I hadn’t seen her since her wedding almost 2 years ago :’)#I cuddle her cats a lot hope Sowon won’t hate me :’)#bdksbzjs#now I’m going to sit down watch videos and cuddle with my dog he missed me :’)#we made the mistake to enter my house when she took me home and Puppy wouldn’t let her live he missed her too 🥹#alex.txt
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