#at least all I need to do is apply what I learned and review. but even that is a lot 😫

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Me, because my first of four Finals exam is 12 hours away, I have to get up early, I'm getting notifications and asks that I can't entertain or answer until I'm done with finals, the air smells like fucking gasoline because my evil relative is an idiot, and Biophysics equations, like all equations take too long, even if I somewhat understand it, need a bath, and my things need to be prepared for later...

[defectivevillain]

scar-crossed lovers

pairing: Severus Snape/Reader (can be platonic or romantic)

summary: “This really isn’t necessary,” you feel the need to say, once you realize that Severus is going to apply the burn paste for you. “I’m perfectly capable-” You break off at the cynical expression on his face, which suggests exactly how incapable he thinks you are.

word count: 2.7k | ao3 version

this work is technically in a series, so feel free to read the other parts and then come back :3

warnings: first-degree burns

Potions was one of your least favorite subjects as a Hogwarts student. You weren’t necessarily bad at brewing, but you weren’t quite skilled at it either. The pressure to follow precise instructions coupled with the subsequent risk of injury that came with errors made it a hard class for you to enjoy. You didn’t have enough confidence in your abilities to proceed through Potions with conviction, and that showed through in your classwork. You often brewed the Potions correctly, but it took you twice as long as it took your classmates. 

Thankfully, your Potions days are long behind you. You’re the Ancient Runes professor at Hogwarts and acting Head of Hufflepuff House—and neither of those roles require an extensive knowledge of Potions. You’re more than content to leave the art of Potions to Severus Snape, the current Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House. You’re secretly relieved that you left Potions back in your school years. You’d much rather continue practicing and researching the subject you’re skilled at—Ancient Runes—than meddle with Potions.

The universe seems dead-set on spiting you, however, because you soon find yourself in a rather uncomfortable position. Minerva is regarding you with an expectant gaze, evidently waiting for you to respond to her statement. You have to put a conscious effort towards remembering what she’s requested of you. 

Severus will be away for the next few school days, in order to attend an international Potions conference. Since the Potions Master will be absent, the castle will need a substitute to stand in his place. You’re not exactly surprised that Minerva is asking you to fill in for Severus—you teach an elective course for upper-years, which means that you have less classes to teach than your colleagues. You have enough time in your schedule to fill in for Severus. The thought of returning to the dungeons for Potions isn’t quite savory, but you know you’ll manage. Besides, you’ll be the professor, not the student. You won’t actually have to brew anything; instead, you’ll be supervising the students’ creations.

“I can do it,” you tell Minerva. The Transfiguration professor thanks you and the tension seems to leave her shoulders. For the rest of your meeting, the two of you review the lesson plans Severus left and discuss any potential obstacles. You leave feeling both nervous and excited. 

To your surprise, however, your Potions classes proceed rather well. The first day flies by without incident and you find yourself feeling strangely validated. You had anticipated there to be a struggle with maintaining your authority, especially with the younger classes of students whom you haven’t gotten to know yet. However, everything went rather smoothly. There were a few hiccups here and there, but you managed to handle them well. Perhaps this won’t be so bad after all.

Of course, the moment you begin to relax, something goes wrong. In hindsight, perhaps you should’ve expected mishaps from the second year Slytherins and Gryffindors—the two Houses usually don’t get along well, and the students are fairly young. But, you don’t have a choice in the matter—you have to supervise them, since Severus is absent. Safe to say, within a few moments of starting class, you’re developing a headache. 

The class is currently learning how to brew Strengthening Solution. You copy the recipe from the textbook onto the board with large handwriting and provide a few general tips, before allowing the students to pair up and begin brewing. By the end of the period, each pair should present a Strengthening Solution for grading.

Strengthening Solution is far from a difficult brew, but you still spot a few pairs having trouble. You eventually decide to pace around the classroom in circles, keeping your eyes peeled for raised hands or confused looks. Malfoy is doing well—unsurprising, considering that he’s apparently one of the top of the class. The same goes for Granger. Zabini and Nott seem to know what they’re doing. Weasley seems torn between attempting to slice his ingredients and cheating off of Granger. There aren’t any noticeable fights brewing amongst the students, which is a plus. Malfoy and Potter have a rather bitter rivalry, from what you’ve heard. 

Someone is trying to get your attention, though. You break away from your thoughts and walk over to the student, who is raising their hand diligently. “What’s the next ingredient?” A boy you recognize to be Neville Longbottom asks. You peek down into his cauldron, frowning when you notice it’s the wrong color. 

“What have you done so far?” You ask him. Longbottom recounts the steps he’s taken and you manage to find where he left off. “Salamander blood is next, Mr. Longbottom,” you answer him. Longbottom exchanges a worried look with Finnigan, his lab partner. Dread coils in your chest. The two of them look scared.

“Salamander?” Longbottom asks, his eyes wide. 

“Yes,” you respond. The shocked look on Longbottom’s face does not inspire confidence. You grimace and take another sidelong glance at the cauldron, surprised to find that the color has since changed. Just what did Longbottom put in the concoction?

You don’t have time to find out, as the cauldron bubbles ominously. Within the blink of an eye, the cauldron is spitting boiling hot liquid everywhere. You quickly shove Longbottom to the side and turn to conjure a shield. Your arm is prickling and aching, but you ignore the sensation and focus on containing the potion’s unexpected eruption. Thankfully, you manage to prevent any harm to the other students—which is most important. A nullifying spell calms the bubbling potion back down, and you quickly send Longbottom to the infirmary before instructing the class to finish brewing and turn in what they have. Despite the mishaps with Longbottom’s brewing, the majority of the class seems to have finished the Strengthening Solution unimpeded. Once the students are dismissed, you turn your attention to the now-melted cauldron and try your best to repair it. After a few minutes of concentration, you manage to somewhat restore it. At the very least, it’s functional. Longbottom will just have to deal with it. 

You finish cleaning the table up, before wiping the sweat from your brow and taking a deep breath. That was a close call—your heart is still racing. There’s no telling what would have happened if you hadn’t contained the potion in time. Thank Merlin for small mercies, you suppose. 

It takes several moments for your adrenaline to fade away, and the feeling is then replaced with a strange prickling along your forearm. You frown and pull up your shirt sleeve, hissing as it rubs against your chafed and burnt skin. It seems not everyone escaped unscathed. Truthfully, though, you’re glad you’re the one injured—and not any of the students (aside from Longbottom, who is likely being chewed out by Madam Pomfrey right now). 

You know a few minor healing spells, but they hardly do anything to get rid of the harsh burn that seems to tear its way up your arm. You don’t really want to go to the infirmary—you know Poppy would have no qualms about telling you exactly how reckless and foolish you were. You suppose you could raid Severus’s Potions stash… but you don’t have a death wish. Severus is very possessive of his Potions, and you know he’d flip once he returned and noticed that something was missing. You inhale slowly and take a moment to process everything that just happened. 

Your brief reprieve doesn’t last very long, as a student enters the classroom and breaks you out of your thoughts. You cast a minor pain relief spell and quickly roll your shirt sleeve back down. Before long, you’re too busy greeting the next class of students to pay much attention to your injury.

Thankfully, your remaining lessons are uneventful. It isn’t until your final class is over and you start to walk to the dining hall that you remember the burn itching at your skin. The pain nullification spell has worn off and you cast another, idly hoping that it’ll somehow get rid of the burn entirely. You don’t really have the luxury to devote time to your wound—you need to finalize your lesson plans for the coming week and grade some essays that the fifth-years turned in. You spend dinner lost in thought, planning out how you’re going to spend the rest of your day. 

It’s really a shame that your plan falls into obscurity the moment you leave the Great Hall. You can’t be more than a few steps down the hall before you feel a presence at your side. You chance a sidelong glance at your newfound companion, relaxing when you realize it’s Severus. 

“Hey, Severus,” you greet him, unable to stop the small smile that works its way onto your face. You’re happy to see him. Severus nods and begins to walk at your side. You’re heading back to your office, and you suppose he is going to be returning to his office too. “Glad you’re back. How was the conference?” 

The Potions professor huffs. “There was a veritable mix of bright minds and complete fools,” he remarks with a dark glare pointed ahead. You have to stifle your amusement at the gesture. Severus doesn’t seem keen to elaborate further on the sentiment.

“That sounds about right,” you hum, recalling what you’ve heard about the conference in passing. “Your classes did pretty well. Only one cauldron blew up.” Severus lets out a long-suffering sigh, evidently thinking about all the cauldrons that will blow up across the duration of the school year. You can’t help but smile at his exasperation. Admittedly, you share some of it too—especially since the incident yesterday. 

“Thank you for watching over my classes,” Severus says, apropos of nothing. There’s no hint of anything other than sincerity in his voice. You raise an eyebrow at the realization. His lips quirk up ever so slightly and, Merlin, is that a smile? He surprises you even more by placing a hand on your forearm. Ordinarily, you’d appreciate the friendly gesture, but his grip falls right on your untreated burn and you have to wince. Immediately, his eyes are squinted in suspicion. You try to tug your arm back, but his grip is tight on your wrist—thankfully, away from the burn. The professor’s infamous scowl returns. “What did you do?”

You resolutely keep your mouth shut. Unfortunately, Severus isn’t the least bit discouraged. Instead, he grabs your sleeve and delicately rolls it up. The marred skin on your forearm is revealed and Severus shakes his head in irritated disbelief. 

“To be fair, I didn’t do anything,” you feel the need to establish. Severus pinches the bridge of his nose. You decide to continue speaking, even though his expression is quickly turning from annoyed to fuming. “Remember the cauldron I mentioned? Yes, well… Mr. Longbottom had a bit of an accident.”

Severus’s grip on your wrist becomes bruising and you hiss. He removes his hand, but the indignant expression on his face doesn’t fade. His fists are clenched at his sides and his scowl is the angriest you’ve seen. It looks as if he’s moments away from stalking over to the Gryffindor Common Room and taking points from the Longbottom boy. 

“Severus,” you chide him. You’ve been meaning to talk to him about his treatment of Neville Longbottom. The Gryffindor is absolutely terrified of the Potions professor. Now that you’re on the topic, you might as well mention it. “Actually-” The rest of the words disintegrate on your tongue, as you catch the murderous expression on the professor’s face. He glares at you and you fall silent. Now might not be the best time, you realize. 

Severus starts to walk away. He doesn’t offer a single word of explanation, but you follow after him because it seems like the right thing to do. A few moments later, you find yourself standing in front of his Potions stores. Severus lets out a long suffering sigh and climbs the ladder to the top shelf with practiced ease, grabbing Burn-Healing Paste and another vial before shouldering past you in the doorway. You take a step back and watch him lock the space, before following him into his office. It takes you a few moments to realize why he hasn’t dismissed you yet. 

“This really isn’t necessary,” you feel the need to say, once you realize that Severus is going to apply the paste for you. “I’m perfectly capable-” You break off at the cynical expression on his face, which  suggests exactly how incapable he thinks you are. Severus silently takes a few steps forward, leaving you to hesitantly backpedal until you’re forced to lean back against his desk. He makes quick work of rolling up your sleeve; you’re not given even a word of warning before the paste is being deposited onto your arm. You manage to keep quiet, despite the sudden shock. The paste is weirdly cold, and it almost immediately soaks into your skin. You stare down at it in fascination. 

“Thank you, Severus-” You move to get up, only for your colleague to push you back with a firm hand. You let your free hand fall to the desk behind you, feeling a sudden urge to brace yourself. Severus doesn’t seem to pay you any mind, as his gaze is honed in on your forearm. He procures the vial from earlier and picks up the pipette to place the amber liquid on your skin. At your questioning gaze, Severus explains. 

“Anti-scarring solution.”

“Severus, I don’t care if it scars,” You try to say. 

“Merlin forbid you mar your flawless skin,” Severus interjects, complete with a scoff and an intense eye-roll. The wording sounds a little familiar, but it takes you a moment to place it. Once you realize that he’s repeating something Lockhart said to you a few days ago— “You have such flawless skin!” —you can’t help but choke on a quiet laugh. 

“He’s rather friendly, isn’t he?” You muse aloud. Severus visibly stiffens at that, for some reason. Tension suddenly settles in the air, heavy and palpable amidst the quiet of his office. You can’t help but feel as if you’ve just done something wrong—you’re just not sure what it is. 

“More than friendly,” Severus states mildly. You want to ask him about the unreadable expression on his face (and the inexplicable glimmer in his eyes), but he places a healthy amount of salve on your arm and you flinch at the stinging sensation it creates. Lockhart had touched your forearm there, too. Whilst his touch incited disgust and discomfort within you, Severus’s touch makes your heart race. 

“Okay, thank you-” You try to escape again, feeling a bit flustered by the intense gaze he has pointed at you. The Potions professor doesn’t respond verbally, instead leveling you with such a malicious glare that any more objections fall to dust in your mouth. Severus returns his attention to your forearm, a roll of bandages in one hand as the other hand gently extends your arm. A shiver rolls down your spine. Time drags on like a viscous sludge, and you’re a prisoner to its whims. All you can hear is Severus’s calm, measured breaths; all you see is the careful manner with which he handles you, as if you’re made of glass. 

“Thank you, Severus.” You breathe once the bandages are secured around your forearm. You swear you feel his hands linger for the briefest of moments, but you put it down to your imagination. At a loss for words, you end up bidding him a good night and retreating to your own office. Even as you try to immerse yourself in grading your class’s essays, the weight of Severus’s touch and the pressure of his gaze refuses to leave your mind’s eye. You fall asleep that night with your arm prickling, both from the salve and from Severus’s attentive, careful grasp earlier.

The next day, you’re set free from your supervisory duties. While the few days you spent as Potions professor were enjoyable, you’re very relieved they’re over. You’d much rather devote attention to Ancient Runes—a subject you feel you’re more qualified to teach. It’s also nice to have your free periods back. You take the chance to study up on some recent scholarship and walk about the castle, taking in the fresh air that the spring brings. 

Unbeknownst to you, during Potions class with the second-years, Gryffindor House loses a hundred points. When you hear the news at dinner, you can’t help but laugh. You then glance at Severus, unsurprised to find a vindictive smirk tugging at his lips. 

thanks for reading! <3

check out my other works, sorted by fandom.

general taglist: @its-ares @excusemeasibangmyheadonawall @kingkoku @the-ultimate-librarian

[secondratefiction]

Hi there! Hope you’re doing well! Kicking that funeral services degree’s ass with any luck!! I was wondering if you would be up to writing a drabble for Jason or Tim (whoever you think fits the scenario best) as the boyfriend of a law student. Maybe where they’re living together and she’s just barely getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night while trying to study for finals, writing a full legal brief, practicing for oral arguments, getting ready for her summer associateship, and applying for moot court and law review. (Is this based on some poor law student’s real life? We may never know!) And just like her needing someone to be there and take care of her, but also her wanting to take care of him too even though she is very much Trying Her Best to Survive™? (Btw thank you so much for blessing us with batfam content galore, absolute ICON <3 )

Oh good lord… bless you and this ‘hypothetical’ poor law student. I know my degree is kicking my ass all across the state and back, so I can only imagine… They keep telling me the degrees are worth it… we’ll ride it out and see. Good vides, and better times love 💜

—

Now I fully believe that Timmy would be wonderful at this in his own right… but every single thing about this request violently screams Jason Todd to me…

There are only so many hours and so many spoons in a day, and unfortunately a law degree takes up almost every single ounce of both of them

However, Jason has this innately ingrained need to take care of the people that matter to him, so this is exactly where he shines

He was always Alfred’s best protege, so the man cooks and cleans house like a pro. Not only that, but it’s something that he genuinely enjoys because they are simple and repetitive tasks that let zone out and go through the motions to decompress from his ‘other job’.

While he’s happy to take care of all of that and leave you to focus on the proverbial, ever-growing mountain of work you have - He’s not above making you stop to take a break.

It is not an uncommon occurrence for this man to literally close your laptop, throw you over his shoulder*, and haul you out to the kitchen table to sit down and have a meal with him.

((*I do not care what size you are, or what hang ups you might have about your weight, if this man can hold up a collapsing ceiling, he can carry you across y’alls apartment))

“Ok, I have physically seen you putting food and water into your body, you can go back to your cave now.”

This happens at least 2-3 times a week

He is concerned. Just humor him and let him love you.

Jason is 100% the type to be actively learning from anything you tell him

Some nights, when the insomnia and the nightmares decide to double team him, he’ll even sit up browsing through your textbooks just to try and understand everything you're doing more.

Tim get’s labeled the nerd of the family a lot, but really Jason would have been the family scholar if he’d had the chance

The second bedroom in your apartment is both your office and his library. That shit is floor to ceiling.

With that in mind he is always more than happy to be a sounding board when you need him to. Listen to what you’ve got, argue the other side if necessary

Dear god, just know what you’re getting into there… he lives for that kind of stuff, and he will come prepared. This is one of his all time favorite games, that comes second only to aggravating the living shit out of you (which, if he’s lucky, will be a bonus here)

95% of the time, Jason has got this, got you - focus on your school babe, I’ll take care of it… but that 5%? That bit where he’s not actually infallible? He so very desperately doesn’t want you to see that.

What you’re doing is important, and he doesn’t want the fact he had a rough night to be a distraction for you. This is where you enter a bit of a balancing act…

As much as you may want to put everything aside and take care of him, that is the fastest way to make him shut down.

Instead, grab a textbook and a highlighter. Go ‘make yourself some tea’ and pour him a mug too. Set everything up in the living room and drag him onto the couch with you.

Put his head in your lap, and just run your fingers through his hair while you do some reading.

Bonus points if you put a blanket over him

Poor baby is gonna melt in an instant and be out cold before you know it. Just keep playing with his hair and let him sleep.

And do not mention it if he is emotional when he wakes up… he’s never going to be good/get used to receiving love and affection. Do it anyway, and don’t make a big deal about it.

[i99zhuo]

How to live like tzuyu 💿˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩

This is a guide on daily routines inspired by Chou Tzuyu! requested in the last post, thank you for your request hope you like it!

content list (routines):

morning 

study

workout 

shower and self care 

night

(_ _  ) . . z Z⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚୨ :★: ୧   ∗  ˖࣪ ໒꒱  ˚₊· 

✸ ꒰ morning routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆ 

🥽 Tzuyu wakes up super early every single day, having a regular sleep schedule (sleep and wake up at the same time everyday) can help us be less stressed and it's super helpful when you want to build multiple routines! you can set an alarm at night time if you struggle going to sleep because you're always mindlessly scrolling!

Now, it's time to get ready, wash both your hands and face and just apply moisturizer and sunscreen, wearing to much skincare products before applying base makeup products may make them look super patchy, if you want to do a really long 10-step skincare routine you have to do it the night before!

🦡 the key for Tzuyu´s makeup is to have a clean base makeup and changing the color of her lips, see, she's so gorgeous that she doesn't need much to look super cute, the main steps of her makeup is to use concealer and bb cream to unify her skin tone and the use a light lipstick as base and then add a more colorful tint, she does this to make bright pink shades work for her dark lips. Other makeup steps are completely optional and up to your needs!

✸ ꒰ study routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆ 

Tzuyu was the kind of student to always doze off and sleep in class, even though this isn't necessarily good, getting rest it's still an important thing to do! So when you get from school you can take a nap instead of studying right away. Once you wake up you can do a little review on what you learn today and emphasize on things you didn't understand in class.

🪨 Also, buying super cute school supplies can help you be at least more motivated to study or to pay attention in class!

✸ ꒰ workout routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆ 

There are videos of Tzuyu using a vibrating platform as a ´workout´ however it isn't clear if these devices actually work or not. 

🥄 What you can do whatsoever is to start warming up before doing cardio or a dancing session, then you can do other kind of workouts to slim and tone up areas like your arms, abs, waist and legs

Finally you can do some stretching for your back and upper body to get a perfect posture and a defined collarbone like her.  

⚽️ Additionally, Tzuyu’s favorite subject at school was P.E! So you can start practicing some other kind of sport like volleyball!

✸ ꒰ shower and self care routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆ 

Instead of showering we are going to take a bath with warm water. Bathing, especially in the evening, can help you relax after a long day. Also, it's much better for your face to not be in direct contact with hot water and just get your pores open lightly with the steam. After bath you can wash your face and put on a sheet mask! tzuyu even puts on a silimask, this is a silicone mask that will help you keep the sheet in place while doing other stuff and make the serum of the mask absorb better!

✸ ꒰ night routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆ 

🗻 Her night routine is not clear however you can stretch again like other twice members do or just sit in your bed and scroll through social media, just make sure to have a perfect posture while doing it, having a good posture is basically a habit, so try  practicing having one as often as you can! 

heyyy I finally finished my requests, I can't believe it!

I never realize how long it really takes me to write these posts

right now im going to be re-opening my requests but im going to be focusing mainly on my new glow up series that im pretty sure it takes less time to write so you guys can have new content more often

ajdksjdjsd thats all

toodlezzzzz!!!!!1!

[prettyboykatsuki]

if its not too tmi, the guide to making your girl cum might still be useful 😭 my gf and i are both in our first relationship and any help would be welcome

i have so many asks fdjslk?? abt this. like no bullshit at all maybe fifteen. but sure 👍🏾 note i am no sex expert or really anyone u should listen to but you know. i get okay reviews

first things first - the most important thing is learning to communicate with your partner. ik u have heard that many times but every body is different and if you can take instructions well, making someone cum is much easier. like. people say it all the time for good reason but just focus on listening more than anything else

also im using woman / she + her but this advice applies to any afab people who are not currently talking T👍🏾 testosterone changes some stuff so i'd give diff advice on some parts abt touching n stuff

learning how to take an apply what ur told is truly like 99% of the game

for women in particularly - u should probably carve out a chunk of time. most women need at least 15 minutes if it's with a partner (often more) and if it's your first time tg it's good to take each other apart and get comfortable

also somewhat obvious but you absolutely cannot forgo foreplay. truly cannot be overstated but u can't. lol

if share the same parts, u are already at somewhat of an advantage as you have some ideas on where to touch etc. neck and chest are always safe bets, and so is inner thigh etc. deep kissing is always also a safe bet. don't overthink it too much, just do your best to communicate both appreciation and attraction

foreplay also starts before getting naked being genuine. undressing someone or showing sensual affection is your friend. ik this sounds corny but its very genuine advice lol

a lot of foreplay is both to build arousal but also getting someone out of their head. a lot of women in particular tend to get really hung up on various aspects of the process. if you can effectively get them out of that mindspace, you're already on your own way

sometimes dirty talk is good and dirty talk does not need to be crass - making sensual small talk can go a long way. praising how she looks or feels, showing your enthusiasm by telling you're looking forward to making her feel good.

thank you is also always safe in that process. thank you for letting me touch you, thank you for trusting me to make you feel good etc. and if you're not feeling confident - it does the same job as something more dirty lol

here is some more specific stuff 👍🏾

a lot of getting 2 know someone sexually is figuring out various sensitivities and pressure. generally speaking, women tend to lean one way or the other when it comes to pressure on different areas of the body for foreplay.

(usually of course, there is some mix of both - but at least in my experience there is more general lean one way vs another)

some people prefer softer touches and caressing and some people prefer more deep pressure and groping. always start on on the soft end and move towards the other slowly.

YOU WILL WANT TO LEARN INDIRECT VS DIRECT PLEASURE. ON YOUR PARTNER AND WHAT THEY PREFER !!!

some parts of a womans body are too sensitive to be touched directly, and they may highly prefer indirect contact as their choice of pleasure. if a womans clit is too sensitive, you might want to stimulate the area just around or underneath instead of directly touching their clit. use their clitoral hood as a buffer essentially.

the clit itself firms up but it's an entire area inside of your body. and what's exposed is just one nerve. its why touching or rubbing the sides can still make effective foreplay because internally the clit has a whole body etc

the hardest part about clitoral stimulation is reading reactions. but the clit will respond to pleasure physically most of the time. try things deliberately, and time your tongue or fingers in a way that lets you gauge their reaction

if someone is feeling good - you'll usually get a very faint throb. you have to look for it to notice it sometimes, but the intensity of that throbbing is what will tell you. clits are similar to dicks in that way

same thing goes for nipples usually. plenty of people like it being touched or sucked directly (again it is all abt sensitivity and pressure) - but it's common for the area to be too sensitive.

touching around, through / over the fabric of their top (this works better with non-silky materials / stuff with no slip), and underneath can also do the job. if the nipples are sensitive to the point of being unpleasurable - the swell underneath the boobs is often a good place to show affection. u can try running your fingers underneath to cup and squeeze instead. or just

the no slip thing is because rougher fabric give nice friction. being touched through cotton feels different from silk. its more hit or miss in my experience

im going to break down the advice about actual fucking into three parts so bear with me .

the most important thing for ALL of this is fucking consistency. listen to me im being so serious. when you hit a rhythm do not stop. ESPECIALLY if she tells you not too.

oral: this one is tricky because there's truly not a universally good way of eating pussy. it's like... four of the above skills wrapped in one skill. so even if i wanted to school you in i don't think i could lol

my best advice is to remember the above about pressure and sensitive and start slow. stimulate the surrounding areas with your tongue, do a lot of teasing. if she's too embarrassed to tell you things verbally, this will usually push her to showing you at least. if she bucks up against you that's a good sign to give a little more pressure.

building pressure is important here. she will feel pretty much every part of your tongue, so make sure you are careful and listen to what she says or does. when you find the rhythm to lick, it's normally safe to suck on her clit (from light pressure to deeper pressure like before)

you will know when you're hitting the right everything because it will start to pulse in your mouth and she will squirm more. when you're there, stay there and don't move unless you're going to die. learn to breathe through your nose lol

FOR PENETRATION THERE IS TWO THINGS. and most time you will still want to pair with clit stimulation but rmb 2 ask.

fingering: the vagina is one of those things that is very hit or miss. with fingering in particular. for most women, it feels better to have another person do it. and it's best combined with clitoral stimulation so it can often be a two-handed affair or used as a sidepiece to oral.

the most pleasure will be felt around the actual opening and against the gspot. the opening has a lot more sensitive which is why the thrusting motion feels good. the g-spot can also feel good, but keep in mind that a gspot orgasm is internal and can feel especially intense. so just be prepared for what reaction you might get and maybe getting pee-d on. or squirted on. or both.

finding the g-spot isn't complicated, it will feel a little textured and have a little more give. with enough arousal it will also be swollen and easier to find.. you will hear a lot about the come hither motion, but what you're actually doing is rubbing along the upper walls.

again, everyone is different but honestly - i've had good luck combining a thrusting motion with the rubbing motion. use your wrist to move so you don't get tired. you can pick what fingers to use but middle and pointer is go to, so you can angle your palm against their clit (in the instance you are just using your hands).

FOR SEX TOY PENETRATION:

dildos: if i tried to explain how the strap works we would simply be here all day, so i will be talking about the dildo as a separate appendage used with your hands and not as part of a strap-on. strap sex is too much of a science lmao

almost all of the time - using a dildo is trying to create the same stimulation as above with gspot pressure, but that's not the only way. there are several angles and those angles hit different things, so it's worth experimenting with this. but for internal orgasm and using dildos - you want to understand comfort and friction.

lube is your friend, but too much slip can make it feel like nothing so build up the lube slowly. some resistance can feel pleasurable and is often ideal. with dildo, you also want to keep in mind the rigidity and maybe buy a toy together. a dildo can be too hard or too soft depending on what it's made with

internal orgasms rely a lot on muscle tension and angling, as well as pace. everyone is different and there is once again no universal way but your best bet is a rhythmic, pushing up motion. if you're using a dildo on your partner, i recommend put a pillow underneath their spine for easier angling.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, REMEMBER ALL ORGASMS ARE TENSION RELEASE.

you need to build tension to release it and keep tension to cum. the need for steadiness and rhythm comes from that. if you're wanting to make someone orgasm, some physical tension can really help - so asking your partner to grab your hair and hold onto your wrist can be helpful. giving their muscles something to flex and hold can redirect focus and help with intimacy so let her pull your hair or dig her nails in your back or grab your wrist. it will actually get u closer to the orgasm

remember most of all though to have fun and feel good together. sex isn't a performance, it's a mutual act of pleasure. too much pressure will kill your boner. good luck 🫡

[esoteric-chaos]

Disability-Friendly Prosperity Magic

So let's face it, those who are disabled have a hard time with money in general, either from being unable to work or not having a steady, strong source of income. Sometimes we can monetize our hobbies, admittedly at a limited capacity (some less or more than others).

From our relationship with money, money mindsets, and income streams, it's hard. That's not to shame anyone, either. Some overspend to cope, while others are incredibly frugal.

In this post, I will review some resources, tips, and tricks for the struggling disabled witch.

The Mundane Before Magical

Step one is to make a budget and track your expenses. I'm serious. Sit down, look at where your money is going, and decide on a budget that you can realistically stick to. I use the 50/30/20 rule as a budget, which is 50% Needs, 30% Wants, and 20% Savings. However, I recently switched wants and savings around so I can save for a trip.

Now I do not want you to worry about a big fancy budget method. I don't want you to overthink it. Here is a resource (Canada, but it can be used in the USA) to start one. Focus on your needs like housing, utilities, basic clothing, food, etc. Then go into wants and entertainment, and finally, savings. I suggest you put any debt payoff into the needs category if you have any debt. You do not want a blow to your credit report.

Now do you have any financial goals? Going back to school? Debt payoff? A trip? Even a big medical trip coming up? Here is a resource (Canada, but it can be used in the USA) that can help you create a goal and a plan to pay this off.

Savings, please, your SAVINGS. It is vital to have an emergency fund. Job loss? Death? Vet bills? Children? Dentist? You better believe that piles up. It is recommended if you are single to have at least 3 months of income saved up, with a child and single at least 6 months. Married on two incomes, the same amount. Married with one income, it is recommended without children at least 6 months saved up and with children 9 months. It is vital you have the means to take care of yourself if an emergency strikes. It is never recommended that money be stopped from being put into these accounts.

If you are in debt, look at your debt relief options. Sometimes there are services out there that can advocate for you regarding debt. They will help you develop a plan, understand the relief options, sign documents with you, and develop a credit rebuilding program. These services are out there; even if they are paid, they can help you pay off some of your debt, especially credit card debt.

Educate yourself on investing, basic investing, and financial literacy, in stock markets and everything beyond. Know what kind of accounts you can hold and what could help you in your situation.

Need help applying for disability? Here's a resource for the USA (a lot can also be used for Canada).

The Magical

Upkeep a prosperity altar. Work with the spirit of money like you would any other spirit. Honour it, talk to it, venerate it. Money loves to be valued, moved, not wasted, and used in charity. Most importantly, money takes time. Money takes time to grow and build a relationship with.

This is the most important thing I've learned about money. It wants to be worked with. It's sitting there. It wants to help and aid you in ways that you need.

Work with this altar on Thursdays, incorporating the spirit of Jupiter. Jupiter rules over finances. Long steady finances, not quick finances. Jupiter rules over business, legal and all things finances. Jupiter is a slower-moving planet.

You can also incorporate the spirit of Mercury on Wednesdays along with your Jupiter workings. Mercury is a fast-moving planet, a planet for fast-moving money. However, you must build a long, steady form of finances over quick, easy cash (but sometimes you do need it right now).

You can create a money bowl and work with it on this altar, a Jupiter cashbox (I will make a future post on this), or a manifestation mirror box filled with petitions, sigils and your investment/banking information.

Fill your altar with greens and gold, imagery for wealth and abundance, pocket change, and anything else that symbolizes wealth.

Do not forget to leave offerings for your money altar. A simple glass of water can do but try to do more if you can.

Road opener workings or petition with an offering for the cross-road spirits who can unblock blockages in your way.

Final Take Away

I know this might not help everyone, but I sincerely hope this helps somebody. Financial literacy was not taught to everyone, nor were proper budgeting tips. I wanted to share what I've learned over the years as I believe it is vital information for some of the information I have collected.

Blessings

[evilphrog]

Watching Wheel of Time without reading the books: Season 2, episode 1

I'm at it again! I know I never posted the season 1 finale review, and maybe I will go back and do that later. But for now, I just finished the season premiere, and I have to say, Perrin is 100% correct. The five of them are much more impressive together than apart. Which isn't to say I disliked it. They are all on the struggle bus, but that is where character development is at its peak, and where we get to see their true inner strength. Which is to say, I LOVED it. Bring on the angst!

The season opener with the round table of evil plotters was a fun and clever way to deliver some exposition without boring us. Having a little girl crawling under the table, disturbing the Very Important Shadowy Cloak Meeting really humanized every single one of them, and seeing the Fake Dark One be so gentle and patient with her gives some insight into how people can become dark friends. They are just concerned parents. I am now calling him Nancy Reagan, since he is their leader. I also definitely want to pet a trolloc. They look much cuter when they aren’t being ordered to kill everyone in sight. Are they tamable? Or...redeemable? I am still not sure of their level of free will/sentience, so I am not sure which word applies.

The first scene post-credits is Moiraine working hard to take her Very Sad Alone Time Depression Bath. Just one woman, chilling in a hot tub, cuz the water gets cold without magic. It was a very good idea to show the first hot tub scene in the recaps, so I could get the full emotional subtext here. Bathing is a communal activity in this culture, but she can’t handle having someone else see her in such a vulnerable position when she already feels so vulnerable all the time. But the longer she spends isolated, the more alone and vulnerable she will continue to feel.

She and Lan are hiding out with their friends, Sassy Twin, Serious Twin, and Tom. Tom is married to one of them, but I forget which one. Without the warder bond, Lan must have lost the rapid healing that allows him to withstand his severe clothing allergy. Good thing the Sassy Twin is there to helpfully point out additional clothes that might be hurting him, and to reassure him it would be fine to remove them in her home. She truly speaks for all of us. I’m glad Lan has these three friends around to support him as he supports Moiraine. This poor man is having to learn, at the tender age of forty-something, to use his words to describe how he feels. He is afraid for his best friend, he is hurt about being pushed away at a time when he would expect to be leaned on even harder, I am pretty sure he blames her for blocked bond because she had put the block up prior to being shielded, and he feels like he is losing his only purpose in life.

And in the face of all that, he has to exhibit so much patience as Moiraine acts like every insecure teenager ever and tries to push him away. His previous experience with teenagers taught him what this behavior is like, but not how to handle it. Her “I am so aloof and do not care at all about the feelings of others” routine was incredibly transparent to everyone except Lan. He really needed his friends to lovingly slap him in the ego and remind him that the only way to truly help her is to let himself be the vulnerable one, so she can see how it' it's done, and realize it's something she can live with.

But now he has to do it the old fashioned way, by walking upstairs to check on her. Good timing, too. Slightly worse timing for Serious Twin, but at least she could handle all the Eyeless. Hopefully one of the twins does healing.

Meanwhile, at Aes Sedai High, Nynaeve and Egwene are in novice training. Egwene is dealing with a bit of culture shock. She accidentally witnesses an actual, honest to Light, bisexual orgy on screen. She is going from being a big fish in a small pond to being a big fish in an ocean surrounded by other big fish, but she is handling it better than I expected. Nynaeve is handling the entire thing exactly as I hoped she would. While Egwene focuses on adding extra challenges by learning to weave with both hands tied behind her back, Nynaeve is semi-consciously stopping herself from doing any magic at all. Polly tries playing on her pride, by saying she is just scared, and Nynaeve responds by drinking dirty dishwater while making direct eye contact. Such a power move, there. Unfortunately, it leads directly to an unwanted face-to-face discussion with JK Rowling, which quickly turns into a surprise duel. I thought JK was torturing Nynaeve by hurting her, but my husband said she was only making the air too thick for Nynaeve to move through. And really, nothing could possibly torture Nynaeve more than placing an unwanted restriction on her. She did end up shielding her, temporarily, and that was described as one of the most brutal forms of assault. Pretty sick, but also pretty consistent with boarding school hazing rituals.

Later, Nynaeve and Egwene read the letter from Perrin, where he hopes they will all stick together. And JK Rowling goes down to her secret Man Dungeon For Men to read a heavily edited version of the letter to her prisoner, New Mat. And, to this I have to say, come on JK Rowling! Why do you go and pull a stunt that the actual JK Rowling also used in her own book? Your name is getting more and more accurate as time goes on, and that is not a compliment. Anyways, Mat responds in pretty much the same way Harry Potter did, by trying to break out of jail. I’m not sure how I feel about New Mat so far. He seems a bit like a soggy bed sheet, but he is also in the exact circumstances that would lead to soggy bed sheet behavior. His puckish attitude was mostly a mask he put on to lift the spirits of those around him, and his private moments were entirely spent dwelling on his own misery. Presumably the only person he has interacted with for months now is someone who actively feeds on that misery. JK Rowling is a cursed dagger unto herself.

We get a brief glimpse of Rand, with his new haircut. He is sad and has no lines. I assume he will be more present in future episodes. He lights a lantern, presumably for his mother, but maybe for the innocent version of himself that will never exist again. Maybe for his friends he thinks he can never see again. They light the lanterns for those they lost, which might not necessarily mean the ones who died.

Perrin, meanwhile, is on a quest to find Padan Fain and steal back the magic horn. He has found another Wolf guy, who seems to be teaching him how his wolf powers work. Apparently he can see the past? Maybe he is smelling the places where things used to be, like Angua does in Discworld? So then, is he a werewolf? This is a very confusing power that has still not been explained at all. I would have liked to see Perrin get a training sequence similar to Egwene and Nynaeve, but the defining trait of wolf guys is that they aren’t a chatty bunch. They find a bunch of bodies of the traitors from the final battle, presumably disposed of once they were no longer useful. The group holds a proper funeral for them, which confuses Perrin. He doesn’t understand how they can go to such effort for the people responsible for the deaths of hundreds. The prince guy responds that if his people spent their time seeking revenge on those who betray them, they wouldn't have time for anything else. It is more helpful to the ones left behind to let it go and focus on the mission. Sort of the way of the leaf, but with a more productive twist. Perrin is really on a quest for a moral philosophy that he can live with, and this one seems slightly more compatible with him.

At Bel Tine, he lights a lantern for his wife. The first time he has to do so. He places his wedding ring on the lantern, but takes it back at the last second. He isn’t ready to let go of his own guilt just yet, but at least he can move forward while carrying it now. Loial seems good for him. And Perrin is good for Loial. He’s way more likeable now that he has gotten used to the wonder of living in the human world, and stopped condescendingly and incorrectly explaining how it all works. They are both figuring that out together. I am not sure how he survived being stabbed with the cursed dagger. By all rights it makes no sense. So I guess… Loial returned somehow. And we are also moving on from it and focusing on the mission, even if we carry our confusion with us.

Other episode reviews

[divine-crows]

✨️10 Things I always Include in My New Grimoire/Book Of Shadows✨️

I'm getting to the end of my second grimoire (prior to this I'd have random stuff in school notebooks that I unfortunately don't have anymore) so I thought it'd be fitting to talk about the stuff I benefited from copying over into my second Grimoire along with what I will most likely put into my third Grimoire.

Please Note: for my journey a Grimoire is the most fitting way for me to describe my preferred method of transcribing what I learn. As a result I will be referring to a Grimoire the whole time but this knowledge can be generally applied to other witchy books meant to hold knowledge.

To help with dictinctions:

Anything with an asterisk* indicates I regretted not including it before

Anything without is stuff I've included and benefitted from having on hand

1. The Elements and Their Correspondences

What I Include in this entry:

- A page dedicated to each element

- Tarot Card, Astrological sign, Color, Crystal, and Herb correspondes (condensed down to crystals and herbs I'm guaranteed to use)

- a vague list with ideas on what this element embodies vibe wise (for example: Earth can represent success, stability or fertility)

- A page dedicated to ideas on how I can work with each element

- how to invoke and banish an element with a pentacle

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

It makes for a very useful reference point when doing spellwork. I can easily see if I can use elemental symbolism and how I can incorporate it.

It also can be nice to reference if I'm celebrating a holiday that embodies the energy of a specific element. I can reference the page for ideas on herbs to use while cooking, colors I can incorporate, etc.

2. Moon Phases, Time, and Seasonal Correspondences

What I include in this Entry:

- a drawing of each moon phase along with about three adjectives to describe the phase

- lists of associations for each time of day

- a chart of the cardinal directions and which season and element corresponds with each one

Why I find this Entry Useful:

It might sound weird that I have all of this stuff condensed down into one entry but hear me out: it's so much nicer to plan rituals and spellwork when all you have to do is look through two pages??? Especially if your first grimoire has all of these entries in more detail (which I heavily reccomend so all of the knowledge is still recorded somewhere), it's nice to know you can easily access the basics without reading every little detail, and then you can always go back to your old grimoire when you need to access more information on the topic.

3. Cartomancy/Tarot

What I Include in this Entry:

- very brief definition of Major Arcana, Minor Arcana, and Court Cards

- elemental correspondences of minor arcana plus what they symbolize

- what each court card symbolizes

- a numerology "cheat sheet"

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

This is one of those things that will not be helpful for everyone but since I practice tarot frequently it's perfect for me. Even if you're not a big tarot person I at least reccomend you pick something you do a lot and create a condensed version for you to review when you need it!

4. The Witches Compass/Opening and Closing Circles

What I Include in this Entry:

- a brief explanation on why you'd use one

- a step by step guide on how you would open and close one

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

Even though I don't always utilize the Witches' Compass or a standard magic circle, I like to have a condensed form written in case I need to perform a ritual but don't have the space to lug around multiple books.

5. Alters, Shrines, and Temples

What I Include in This Entry:

- Definitions of each word

- a list of examples of types of alters

- a general run-down on what typically goes on an altar

- ideas on how to decorate an altar

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

I actually don't have an altar space currently, but I do find it useful to have inspiration on hand in case I need it. I also just find it useful to have the distinctions on hand in case I'm cross referencing my research.

6. Warding and Defensive Magic*

What I Include in this Entry:

- a list of types of wards with minor guidance on how to use them if I don't use them often

- ways I can use defensive magic if things go wrong

-When to ward/When not to ward a space

- a page dedicated to the Witches Ladder, how to make one, and I typically include one of my own spells with it.

- a page dedicated to a basic house protection spell

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

This is one of the topics I didn't copy over into my current Grimoire but really regret not doing. Since I like to dabble in Astral travel and a huge part of my practice is working with the in between this knowledge is nice to have on hand.

I'm personally of the school of thought that you don't need to ward everything at all times, however if you're like me and you do a warding spell every once in a while and then you forget how to do it... yeah might be nice to just always have it freshly recorded so you're not rifling through all of your stuff.

7. Magical Excersizes from Books, Media, Etc.

What I Include In This Entry:

- the source I got the excersize from

- what the goal of the excersize is

- a step-by-step rundown

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

It's especially nice when you're dealing with burnout or a mental block. It's also oddly refreshing to occasionally do one.

Now, I wouldn't reccomend having every magical exercise you've ever done in your new Grimoire, but I usually pick three or four that I really like and write them down.

8. About Me Page*

What I Include In This Entry:

- Deities I mainly Venerate

- What magical "paths" or ways of life I tend to follow

- How I feel about my practice (Do I need to improve in some areas? Do I feel lost? Etc.)

- Things I want to explore more or do more

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

This is another entry I seriously regret not including more. With my first Grimoire (that I didn't lose) it served as a good spot to check in order to see my growth, look for anything I hadn't learned yet but wanted to learn, and it served as a nice sentimental peice to look back on.

Some may not benefit from having an entry like this, but others may find they'll benefit from it like I do!

9. A Basic Guide on Fae Species (or other entities depending on your practice)

What I Include in this Entry:

- I usually pick about 8-10 Fae to make an entry on and I try to keep it in a broad, diverse range.

- A picture depicting each thing

- Name of species

- Anecdotes on their temperament, how you can avoid pissing them off, etc.

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

As a Celtic Pagan it feels right for me to have an entry that includes the Fae even though I avoid interacting with them when possible. I've also generally had a sort of fixation on the Fae and their way of life since I was young so it's a little something that speaks to my heart and my passions as well.

If you want to look at this more practically, having a guide of common entities can be good in case you encounter one that way you have a sort of code of conduct written down.

10. List of Herbs I Commonly Use and their Correspondences

What I Include in this Entry:

- Household herbs I can easily find in the pantry

- items I can easily forage and use from outside

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

My first ever list of herbs was basically every Herb under the sun and how I could use it. Did I use any of those herbs? Heck no! Now I keep a small, condensed list of stuff I actually use and have easy access to and if I use anything I'm not used to that's when I reference my giant list.

Not all of these topics may personally speak to you, but I hope that at least some of them could help you decide what you'd like to include in your own books!

[queer-lemons]

ok SO. Last semester I had a kinesiology and applied physics (KAAP) professor who was kind of a dick. He was very self important, his lectures were mostly him rambling and not in a very helpful way. I tried to look past this, but then he also caused issues with my disability accomodations.

I can't take exams on the computer bc of Issues™, so I have to take my exams on paper. I'm pretty much always the only student in classes of 100+ with this accomodation-- meaning that the prof only has to manually grade one 2-3 page test. I'm not saying it's nothing, but it's pretty damn close considering all other assignments are computer graded.

So this professor would administer the quiz on a Wednesday, and then two days later on Friday he would go over the entire test, explain the questions and answers to us, and answer questions about it. That was the entire 80min of class. But here's the fun thing. I didn't have access to my exam during the review classes, much less a graded version that would tell me what I struggled with. And he used a question bank, which basically means I couldn't just remember "oh yeah x question I chose y answer" because everyone got different types of questions.

So I was fucking screwed. Because the most constructive learning we got, I was nixed out of because he couldn't either grade my test faster, or wait to do the review sessions. But don't worry, it gets worse.

So we had 3 big exams and then a final. Exam 3 was about 3-4 weeks before the final exam, and you needed to be able to study exam 3 for the final. But even though all of my classmates got their exams back within a day of taking them, I didn't get mine back for weeks. I emailed him once or twice asking and I just got blown off. And the only disability advisor I knew didn't even reply to my email.

He actually got covid but was only sick for less than a week. Ok so it's a few days before the final, and I still don't have my test to study (my classmates have all had theirs for weeks). It's a class of at least 100 students. I decide I have to do something. So I raise my hand, and in front of the whole class I say (loudly, bc i'm a theatre nerd): "Hi, I'm a disabilities student, and you still haven't given me back our last exam from a few weeks ago. Can I get that so I can study for the final?" He fully froze for a solid five seconds, before saying "How?" as if he hadn't sent me two tests before this. Anyway, he ended up stumbling around a bit and saying "well I haven't been to the office because of covid" even though everyone knows well that he was in person teaching both before and after the covid *after* the test. Long story short, he was shitting himself and it was so obvious.

Anyway, you know what the punch line is? The class average on the final was a 71%, and I got an 88%. He emailed me privately saying he was impressed, that I was clearly a good learner. I replied thanking him briefly and then listing ways in which his class could be made easily accessible. He never replied.

So yeah, you can try to leave your disabled students behind, but they might turn out to be your outlying successes in the class. Oh and even if they still get F's, that's no excuse to not put your all into their education. And if you can advocate for yourself at all, please do it, because you will be so fucking proud of yourself and it will be a very good foundation for the struggles you'll face in the rest of academia.

[princesspumpkinseed]

Throughout my university education, I tried incessantly to be a good student and I took pleasure in inflating my marks. Despite being one of the few students not having studied pure maths at A-Level, I almost exclusively achieved firsts (only once achieving a 2:1 in French, which I then improved the following year) and finished my undergraduate degree in Maths with awards for my high grades and requests from my teacher to continue my studies for the sake of science. Now that the memory of Bristol is becoming more and more distant, I want to tell you, reader, how I did that.

Imposter syndrome

Before you’ve even started studying, imposter syndrome might set in. Don’t let the doubts about whether you deserve to be in your institution block your path. I remember thinking that everyone else had studied further maths; that maths was what the other students dedicated their lives to (while I just liked it enough); that my occasional lack of comprehension was proof that I got into this university on a whim and I was not as worthy as the other students. To those thoughts, I invite you to reply “Let’s see how far I can go with this.” If you really did get into an amazing university with students who are supposedly superior to you then let’s see how much you can take from this university: how many classes and mentally stimulating problem sheets, how many afternoons in your cherished campus until they realise that you’re not supposed to be there. Try your damndest to keep up and maybe you’ll surprise yourself and find that that drive is exactly what is going to keep you where you where you want to be. If you’re not supposed to be there: cash in.

Alternatively, maybe you got into a university which you think you’re too good for. Prove it. If you’re too good for this uni, then get a first and have them begging you to do a PHD. I dare you.

Come back to it later

When starting university, you need to build skills as well as learn content. You know how to memorise the notions and how to apply the formulae – you’ve been using this kind of skill since GCSE – but building analytical skills or learning to write elegant proofs cannot be done in an evening or with a pack of flash cards. When learning to write proofs, I recommend to you to write out the teacher’s proofs and annotate the relevance or each sentence. I also used to break down big proofs into the function of each paragraph and then imitate it afterwards. You could also use this approach for applied maths: note the techniques used at each stage of a response at the side of the page and then try to do it yourself. Remember, though, that you a building a skill and this will take effort and repetition. If you’re not quite getting it on Tuesday, give it a good go (at least 20 minutes of actively trying to understand a method or a style) and then come back on Wednesday. You might not be used to having to leave something unfinished for the evening but Rome was not built in a day and your first year is essential for building a good foundation so use your time generously for your study.

PS. A small proof tip I have is to define any theorems you’re going to use in your introduction and then you won’t forget how you were planning to tackle the problem and you won’t need to define them later, which will improve your flow.

Previewing Content

I didn’t consistently read the lecture notes before class started but when I did I felt rather proud of myself. I knew what was coming up in the lesson and therefore like I had an advantage over other students and if something didn’t click when I was reading, sometimes simply the teacher’s intonation would clarify all of it. A quick glance over the content (not necessarily absorbing any of it) is all it takes to feel smug and curious before the lesson even begins.

Conversely, consolidating content.

If you didn’t understand the lesson, the best thing you can do is actively review the lecture notes. Explain them aloud or write them out in a conversational tone as if you were explaining it to yourself. In maths in particular, this can render the abstract more intuitive and allow you to manipulate concepts more easily. Throw in an example or two if need be, to concretise your understanding.

Also, find some chums to discuss with after class. Even if you just complain about a homework problem, chatting with a friend can make topics more memorable. Don’t be shy about not getting something: your friend may rephrase the content and turn out to be a better teacher than the initial lecturer. So complain, rant, explain, or just make jokes about the lesson, and this might contribute to the community in your course simultaneously.

Taking this further, be present and helpful on your course group chat around exam season! You’ll find that other people may pose questions which highlight a gap in your knowledge or that explaining to another solidifies your own comprehension.

Even after your course ends, it could be nice to honour what you have learned using books and documentaries. I read Alex’s Adventures In Numberland after my maths degree just for the nostalgia and I ended up adding some niche trivia to my expensive education. Your knowledge should inspire you and stimulate you, not stress you out.

Be a teachers’ pet: you paid for it.

In first year, I frequented teachers’ office hours and I’m glad I did because receiving maths through verbal and illustrative demonstration helps me to surpass the abstract words on the page. If you have a quick query, don’t be afraid to send an email or chat with the teacher after the lesson. Put up your hand to ask or answer questions - sitting at the front might make this less scary since you can’t see all of the other students. These teachers are experts in their field so interact with them and enjoy their thought-provoking conversation – use it to nourish your own curiosity and to motivate yourself to make them proud. Many a time, teachers sent me extra articles or books after I had expressed a curiosity or lack of understanding to them and thus I have resources to further my study despite having graduated.

Better than knowing the content, know the teacher’s style.

I noticed when doing functional analysis past papers that there was always a question requiring a certain technique following a question requiring another technique: this knowledge was indispensable in the final exam! I almost wasted time trying the wrong technique until I remembered this and then recited a perfect answer, of which previous exam papers had assured me the correctness. Knowing the teacher’s style can give you a hint about the content of the exam (where to focus your revision) and helpful insight about strategies required. As well as this, they’re a booklet of fun problems which are tailored to your competences – what’s not to love?

Concluding advice…

The above advice is applicable only when you already have a study schedule and you do what is required to you to keep up with assignments and content, but how you do this depends on your learning style, your waking hours, your extra-curricular activities, etc. I can’t give you a study plan but I can give you the above flourishes to make a good routine even more effective and I can leave you with some final advice: don’t lie to yourself. Don’t tell yourself that something is good enough when you don’t think it will get you what you want. Sometimes you just don’t get things and you may need to take a jog or go to the bathroom to think about it with a clear mind or sometimes you don’t have the time to waste on a single problem when other assignments are urgent – that’s okay, but give yourself the best chance of getting it right by beginning it early and prioritising your study first and foremost. Don’t hope for a grade, work for it: effort is much more dependable than chance.

[walker-extended-universe]

Walker Series Finale Review

This one's going to be a little different than my normal reviews. I'm not going to give a full recap and I'll focus more on my reactions, my hopes, and my (very minor) disappointments.

I have a lot of love for this show and it's very hard for me to see it end, but I think the ending we got was very good and I want to focus on those feelings and hopefully spark further conversation with y'all.

So, let's dive into it.

One of the things I want to talk about first is that, while it didn't feel like a Series finale, it was very satisfying. I think Anna and the team made the right choice choosing not to film an alternate "final" ending. I think if we'd gotten a "proper" finale, it would've been an hour of unearned character moments and rushed dynamics. Everything about this episode felt so natural and while I wish we were getting more, I can appreciate the endings we got.

One thing I really appreciated about the ending was how light it was. I feel like everyone got a happy ending (or close enough to one at least) and after this season, that's what we all needed. Abby and Bonham figuring out their retirement goals, Stella looking forward to a more relaxing college experience, Sadie sticking around the Walker-Broussard family..... All of it was perfect. While I don't have much to say on those plots specifically since there wasn't much to them this episode, I think they ended well.

Now, I want to go over the Big Endings we got and do a little gushing.

First, I want to cover Ben and Liam's conclusion. We've seen them take small steps this season with Ben becoming more integrated into the Walker family and Liam letting his guard down more for him. It was a small part of the season (and one where most of the progression happened off screen) but one I enjoyed nonetheless. We finally get to see them take that finale step toward a complete future together with Liam asking Ben to move in together and start looking at houses. It was a very small, quick moment but one that I loved, especially the actual conversation XD I love Liam and his inability to be normal about things and I'm sure "I want you to use normal words" is a phrase we will hear often in the future Walker-Perez household.

Before I dive too deep into the big emotions of the episode, I want to talk about August's character development. The reveal that August had applied for colleges behind everyone's backs and decided against going to the military was a relief for me. And just the statement of "I guess I'm just that disciplined" shows me that he learned he doesn't have to do that to be worthy of love. While I wish we knew more about his exact plans for the future (and how the hell he got the money for the application fee to Harvard without anyone noticing), I'm happy to hear he's not so self-depricating anymore.

Next, I want to talk about Cassie. I've been feeling a lot of feelings about her for the past few episodes since Anna killed Luna off for no reason (by her own admission too -_-). While I'm not a big fan of her becoming James' lieutenant, I had a feeling that's where the story was going and since she can't have a happy personal life, I appreciate that she got to have at least that dream come true. I also really loved how the show portrayed and handled her grief over Luna. She's struggling, especially with her relationship with Cordell, but she has a lot of support around her and she's glad for it. That scene with Cassie and Kelly and Geri on the couch will be living rent free in my heart <3.

One big thing that I appreciated about her arc this episode is that she's not completely 1000% back on her feet. She's still grieving Luna. She's still wondering if she made the right choice to stay in Austin. She's still conflicted over Cordell. But she wants to get better and move on to a brighter future. So, she forgives Cordell. She gracefully takes the promotion. She opens herself up to her close friends. It felt very natural and comforting and it's more than I could've hoped for for the finale. I wish we could've gotten to see her settle into her role and learn to manage all her new expectations and guidelines dynamics, but there's always fanfic <3

Of course, I can't review this episode without talking about Cordell and his journey. We've seen him hit his lowest point this season and his time in the finale was dedicated to trying to fix some of his messes. His conversations with Stella and August really hit a cord with me and I'm so glad we got to have them before the show ended. That and the constant repetition that he really just need to be there for them. He didn't have to be perfect or set aside all his other ambitions; he just couldn't forget about them.

This translates well to his contentions with Geri. He wants to be the kind of man Geri needs, the kind who's there when she needs him and doesn't leave her feeling neglected. But he needed to learn that that also means letting her be there for him. It means that when he starts to spiral down a dark road, he still leaves a trail for her to follow. No more lying and pretending things are Fine just for the sake of it. And he's willing to make those changes, starting by taking a leave of absence and taking the whole family on a well-deserved vacation. It's the start of a new chapter in his life and I wish him the best.

This episode made me emotional in the best way. While I'm sad we won't have any more adventures with the Walker family, I'm satisfied with where their stories are headed. And, with an open ending like that, who knows what we might get in the future?

But those are just my thoughts. What are yours?

[dee-the-red-witch]

The Monthly Roundup

Okay, normally, this is just a free monthly post over on my Patreon, but I figured I should push this out into the wild as well, because this kind of stuff's always needed. Want this, and a bunch of weekly readings from a cursed tarot deck, media reviews, and other content including fiction and the occasional build post? Maybe consider adding me over there as well. Anyways, like I said, it's a monthly roundup- in this case a bigass collection of links and resources for folks interested in pursuing gender transition one way or another. And while a bunch of it is transfem specific and sometimes medical transition specific, because it's stuff I dug up while hunting down things for myself, there's also things in there good for anyone of any gender, and resources for legal/social transition as well. And this is long enough to deserve a cut for once, so...

Hey! What If *I'M* trans?

The Gender Dysphoria Bible- https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en Wondering if you're experiencing Gender Dysphoria? This may be a good place to start. Realize the GDB is slanted largely towards transfem folks, so it doesn't necessarily apply evenly to everyone, but it does cover a lot of ground that folks may identify with.

Trans Medical Resources

DIY HRT- https://diyhrt.cafe/index.php/Main_Page (for legal reasons, I'm going to tell you to at least try to see a licensed physician or endocrinologist before starting to DIY your own hormones, but keep in mind, I'm not your responsible adult, and if you don't choose to listen, that's on you) This is the main, best hub for sourcing and getting info on doing your own hormone therapy. Keep in mind, it's once again slanted towards feminizing methods, because testosterone is still a controlled substance in most of the world (which is bloody fucking stupid, but that's a rant for another time).

GALAP- The Gender Affirming Letter Access Project- https://thegalap.org/ While we may have new WPATH guidelines with the Soc 8 updates that dropped a little bit ago, most providers and insurers are still on outdated requirements that insist on letters from mental health providers for transgender-related care. Which can affect access to surgeries, HRT, and more. GALAP exists to connect folks with providers who'll give those letters,m in some cases free of charge even.

Gynecologist List- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview This one's more for uterus-owners in general and less trans-specific, but giventhe number of folks with uteri who'd can end up with a hard time finding a willing doctor for some procedures, it's important for everyone. This is a Google database of hundreds of gynecologists, listed by location, willing to perform sterilization procedures with informed consent, without secondary authorization from anyone else. The list is patient-vetted, so your mileage may vary, but for those seeking sterilization and/or hysterectomies as part of their transition it may prove to be invaluable as a resource, because doctors willing to do this work can be few and rare in some areas.

Transfeminine Science- https://transfemscience.org/ Articles, journals and all sorts of researching into, well, just what the name says, transfeminizing science. A lot of medical professionals simply don't have knowledge in the field and are acting on what they learned in med school, which may be way out of date. If they're willing to listen, there's stuff in there to help bring them up to speed. Better yet, it;'s also a great resource to educate yourself so you can advocate for your own care a bit better.

Other Transition resources (legal, social, etc)

NCTE's ID GUIDE- https://transequality.org/documents The National Transgender Center for Equality's guide to changing your legal identity, in a handy format that lets you break it down by state or territory, or even federal documents (United States only, sorry.) and links to the right paperwork to use. Rainbow Passage- https://rainbowpassage.org/ It sucks that we need organizations like this in these times, but I'm glad to see there's people already stepping up to the task. Rainbow Passage is an organization dedicated to helping trans youth get out of trans-hostile states and relocate to safer areas. And if you can, volunteering for them is a great way to help improve safety for trans folk in general.

Seattle Voice Lab- https://www.seattlevoicelab.com/ if you've seen me on social media much lately, then you've seen me talking about this place. This is who I'm (through February and March at least) taking voice lessons through to feminize my own voice more. They also have a bunch of online resources, a discord server, and other help if you need to figure your own vocal chords out a bit better.

Strands For Trans- https://strandsfortrans.org/ Need a haircut, or color or other beauty services you're using for the first time ever as an out trans person and you're not sure where's going to be safe to go? Strands For Trans is the first comprehensive database of Aesthetics businesses for hair and everything, AND THEY VET THE BUSINESSES, to ensure your safety and comfort.

TLC's Life-Planning Guide- http://transgenderlawcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/TLC_Life-Planning-Documents-Transgender.pdf The Transgender Law Center put this guide together specifically for planning end-of-life details. Yes, it's a depressing and tragic thing, but protecting and making sure our identities are still properly preserved after we die is still just as an important part of what we're fighting as anything else is. This guide will help you with establishing a Living Will, controlling hospital visits, and setting up proper Powers of Attorney, so that nothing potentially falls back into the hands of people who might refuse to recognize who you truly are. (In many states, you can designate someone other than your next of kin to take charge of your body when you die (next of kin is defined by law, not by preference). If you need to do that, go to nolo.com and look up article on "[your state] funeral law" to get a rundown on if and how to do this.

Trans Media

The Digital Transgender Archive- https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net "The purpose of the Digital Transgender Archive (DTA) is to increase the accessibility of transgender history by providing an online hub for digitized historical materials, born-digital materials, and information on archival holdings throughout the world." (In short, this is one of several free libraries of trans history.)

Totally Trans- https://www.patreon.com/totallytrans/posts Hey, look at that, it's another Patreon! Except, no, wait, it's a podcast! Totally Trans looks at media both historical and modern with a transgendered lens. Sometimes it's silly fun, other times, it's great insights into queer and trans history, and all around it's a great show to add on whatever service you're already getting podcasts through- or you can hit the link above to help support them at the same time for early access.

Trans News, Blogs, and Notes

Erin In The Morning: https://www.erininthemorning.com/ Erin's newsletter runs almost daily these days, mostly with updates regarding trans legislation all around the US. It's a good way to stay up to date, but it can also be a drag these days, largely because it's practically just a constantly expanding list of bad news thanks to the GOP right now.

Stained Glass Woman: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/ aka Doc Impossible/Zoe. I first discovered her work and writing when WPATH released their new SOC 8 guidelines, because she was one of the few people that could make the thing actually make sense in non-legalese. But I subscribed andkeep following here for regular updates both because she presents a trans coming out narrative that was just a joy to read, and also covers interesting  news in the field of trans medicine from time to time. Definitely worth adding to your feed.

A Self Defense Study Guide for Trans Women and Gender Non-Conforming / Nonbinary AMAB Folks: https://www.silversprocket.net/2021/09/13/a-self-defense-study-guide-for-trans-women-and-gender-non-conforming-nonbinary-amab-folks/

This is, quite honestly, one of the best self-defense guides I've seen for gender-nonconforming folks (and one of the few, to be honest), short of private defense instruction. AND it's available to read in full for free at that link, or in print for just a 5$ donation. Go check it out.

Other general roundups

Grassroots GAC Resources- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19kSzBLo_hjpiBjHN8tvK73sVHU25NKWjMau2vNl8uuM/edit#gid=778305468 Google spreadsheet of links in general, from therapy help and hrt assistance, to all sorts of other info, some of which are repeats from here, but there's also a bunch of others I haven't had time or opportunity to vet yet.

[clever-fox-studios]

Art Lessons

I'm just dropping this here because the idea keeps floating in my head about revisiting something I did back in the SAMS server (yes, hi, I was there, some of you probably know me from art chat) that I really enjoyed and I've been considering trying again to provide accessible resources to young or under-skilled artists.

So, back in the day (early 2023) when I was there (SAMS), I held a couple of streams where I tried to explain anatomy and breaking down bodies into shapes and how those lessons overlapped into other subjects like non-humans. I felt there was a moderate success, as I am and always have been, self-taught and thus I don't have the formal knowledge that comes from university classes (though I would like some one day); having been online enough I've seen the biases in the art community with the agism and such where older people who "missed" the window of opportunity are often pushed aside because they're expected to "know" by now how to Do The Thing when they weren't given the same opportunities then.

I've also seen how most how-to books, videos and classes, in many countries, seem to lack general fundamentals as part of their criteria; the number of 'students' who professed that their teachers or the instructor seemed to assume they had a basic idea of how to draw already before starting class was... staggering to say the least.

"I didn't know what [this] meant, I was just told to do it."

"We were never taught how to break this down, we just had to copy [this]."

Etc.

Nevermind the style biases; I despise the "Anime isn't art" arguments and how they try to force a style onto the learners as if they're superior for being 'traditional' or 'realistic'. I'm a person who does push for the fundamentals because they can be applied to all styles in some way; learn the rules to then break the rules and all that. Technical skill is not the same as style, in my book.

So, that being said, I would really love to revisit those streams one day soon, if the interest is still there. I'm planning to open a discord server for it where I can host the small-scale streams until I get a platform open for larger audiences; I'm thinking Twitch, but my set up isn't really good for that, and I need a certain amount of watch time/followers on Tiktok and Youtube (for some stupid reason) so while I figure that out, discord is better than nothing. VODs could be made or uploaded to Youtube later for review until I make proper edited stuff, but that's much later.

I just really miss offering help because art should be accessible and no one should feel isolated in the "you should know by now" bubble simply because their living situation or environment didn't afford them the time or resources to sit and draw all day, every day and teach themselves where classes failed or assumed they knew what they were dong already. Also, that live feedback can help a lot and allow others to run at their own pace instead of getting steamrolled by the 'natural talent' as I can repeat or revisit something and answer questions in real-time (as much as I'm able).

So if that's something that seems fun or interesting, I'd leave it open to any age (behave yourselves) to come learn; if I get enough interest I'll start making the discord and think of a schedule plan, but for now it's an idea!

Thank you for dropping by!

[eighthdoctor]

I've never done any kind of proper historical studies -- everything I've learned is from high school, from reading things on wikipedia, from history podcasts, and more rarely (because I rarely have the patience to read) from books. So I... hardly know anything about specifics. The kind of intimate knowledge of the inner workings of empires and peoples that a college educated student would have.

This might sound odd but... it's a bit reassuring to me that even someone who's spent years studying those two specific subjects doesn't feel comfortable saying for certain what any individual person, or group of people may have been experiencing at any given time. That the environment people lived in was so *vastly* different that one can only have clues as to what people felt, how they experienced the world.

All that being said, and I do apologize if this is another too-vague or too-broad question -- do you feel as though your college studies have changed the way you relate to the past?

So I wanna unpack some of this a little bit, because you're closing off some avenues I don't think you need to close off.

College students do learn about specifics, but the thing that's really being taught in college is how to think and learn. Skills, not facts. Part of what made that conversation with the history majors so memorable is that it highlighted how much is different between majors in that regard.

Sociology vs psych might be a valuable example here: Rule of thumb, sociology teaches you to approach issues on a population level, groups of people; psychology teaches you to approach issues on the individual level. There's very few areas where either is 100% right to the exclusion of the other, but it's useful to know which lens (a) you and (b) your source is using, if you're going to be reading about, e.g., the causes of poor academic performance in American boys. Psych says this is due to a rise in ADHD; socio says our classrooms aren't suitable for...anyone, but especially people who have never had to sit still and be quiet (ie, boys).

WHAT you learn in college is HOW to learn. (It's also, crucially, a period where 1, you very often have nothing else to do BUT learn and 2, you are paying a gazillion dollars for the privilege of learning, so you're heavily incentivized to actually do it. Free activities are easier to stop doing than ones you paid to do.)

It's how to navigate databases, how to read articles (peer reviewed or otherwise), which resources to trust, what it MEANS to trust a resource, how to read with different lenses, how to find information at all, what sorts of conclusions are reasonable or specious to draw from that information (aka: how flimsy can your argument be before your professor will tell you to find more evidence), when to apply certain techniques...

* Enormous caveat: if your professors were any good. Some of them aren't. Many of them aren't. If your professors universally suck, you'll come out with a meaningless degree and student debt, which is not ideal.

But theoretically, at least, the purpose of 21st century higher ed is to teach you how to learn.

Then you go apply it.

All of which is to say: The granular factoids I have on call about 15th and 16th century explorers did not come from college; I didn't take a single class on that era. They came from books and articles and online resources. College taught me how to evaluate those books (although common sense plays a huge role here) but the rest of it was self driven.

Here's the other thing: None of that knowledge is paywalled.

While the decline of Google makes finding some of these resources harder, I highly, highly recommend just searching things like "how to judge a history source" and "basic resources for social history" (a guess based on your focus on 'inner workings of empires and peoples'). Then read a bunch of links (please first filter for obviously AI written pages!).

THEN ask yourself some questions: Where did those links disagree? Are there areas they all agreed on? Was there something that 8 pages agreed on but 2 did not? If it seems like a key area, go check who's written & hosting those links, and consider what they might (or might not) know about the field. (If r/askhistorians and PragerU disagree on a definition, you can bet which one I'm listening to.)

After reading a bunch of pages, you probably have MORE search terms and MORE questions. Repeat. Repeat.

I just mentioned r/askhistorians: For this sort of thing, I would read anything with the Monday Methods flair. Start here. That page was last updated 5 years ago but it DOES link to 3 years of mostly weekly posts on how historians think. 100% free. No college tuition required.

Podcasts are great resources. r/askhistorians is fucking invaluable. I would murder for the r/askhistorians modteam, no questions asked.

Reading is a learnable skill! Reading history books is very learnable! I stopped reading print material for 2 years, and when I was getting back into it, I set myself an alarm. 15 minutes a day in the evening when I had nothing else going on. Start with fiction if you're out of the habit, YA would be my recommendation, then start expanding.

There ARE history books with audio versions out there and you can check your library system for those; I don't vibe with audiobooks so can't provide any specifics, but I know they exist. Most history books won't have recordings, though--what you may be able to do if you check out or purchase a digital version is use a text-to-speech program or screenreader to read it to you. This obviously has some drawbacks :P But it's an option!

So: Did my degrees affect how I interact with history? Yeah. I'm not discarding the impact of my education, I had some really phenomenal classics teachers. But they're not the only way to get that result. There are other routes to the same destination.

[andivmg]

who are your fav ‘influencers’/ people you watch on yt TikTok etc 🫶

okay i love how u put influencers in quotes bc i don’t view content as like an influence thing for me, i’ve learned that i kinda prefer other types of content idk you’ll see what i mean

on a similar note, i had to look through my following and subscription lists on yt and tiktok bc i could not think of one single person off the top of my head LOL but i’ll list out people whose content i enjoy when it pops up on my fyp or yt home page.

Danny (Bionic on yt): #1 obviii my man my man my man. BUT i will say sometimes i be bingeing his videos bc they are so unironically entertaining like if you’re into modded minecraft and don’t mind the target audience being younger kids then watch his videos i promise it’s not just bc i love him LMAO

@/hopeyoufindyourdad (Andra) on tiktok: i think she is so smart and i love all her takes on drama and all kinds of situations idk whenever she pops up on my feed i just know i’m going to agree with her on whatever she’s talking about

@/glownarrative (hannah campbell) on tiktok: BIG fan of her makeup reviews, i think she could classify as an “influencer” bc she does review makeup and stuff, at least that’s what i know her for. but, i just think she’s pretty straightforward and when i’m looking for new products i do go to her page just to see her take on how the products wear and apply just 10/10 good reviews

@/alloramomo on tiktok: idek how to describe the videos but it’s like short films but it’s kind of conversations between two people and they always leave me staring at my screen reflecting on what i just watched idk just. good.

@/carolinelusk on tiktok: Similar vein to Andra not just bc she’s a blonde with good opinions but also seems really smart and funny idk i just get good vibes from her

@/fathermareyuh on tiktok: SO FUCKING FUNNY. they make rlly good anime tiktoks idek how to describe the content but they’re just so fucking funny. if u like jjk, my hero, or anime in general u probably alr know but yeah big fan

@/avascreams and @/chloeforrero on tiktok: pretty, funny girls w deep voices, long yap sessions, good opinions, and who talk at the perfect speed.

@/cameronjerrard (Cameron) on tiktok: HILARIOUS. i see that blue bonnet, i’m SAT bc i know i’m about to giggle and hear some good takes on whatever he’s talking about

ik i already put danny on the top and he’s a youtuber but now i’m going w the list of youtubers. i know it would’ve made more sense to just put all the youtube people together but this is the way my brain went and i’m too lazy to go back and redo it so

Madisyn Brown: really good video essays, i’ll literally sit and watch every single one, i think she’s so smart. also she can SING.

Jordan Theresa: video essay girly!! so smart and funny, i love the way she edits her videos idk i just like her content a lot

Salem Tovar: completing my holy trinity of video essay/commentary girlies. funny, smart… need i say more

Mai Pham: the only actual influencer on this list, i love her vlogs and i think she’s so funny, relatable and down to earth idk i just think she’s so cool

D’Angelo Wallace: do i even need to say anything?

Kurzgesagt: one of my hs friends introduced me to this channel and i never looked back. always look forward to the existential crisis following an upload from them

[badescapeartist-blog]

3 - Consequences

I often tell myself that actions have consequences. I like the phrase. I don't remember when I first heard it, but one day it really clicked. I could almost see how my actions now could play out in the future and it got a lot easier to make conscious decisions. I keep the phrase (if you can even really call it that) in the back of my mind as a reminder to keep myself on track and out of trouble, and so far it's worked. At least, in my personal life.

For some reason chess is different. No matter how many games I play I still find myself giving my opponent a free piece. I've missed countless checkmates that were one or two moves away. Queens served on silver platters with a side of pawn. Needless to say, actions have consequences. If I make a bad move, it will be punished. There's no taking it back, or forgetting it either.

This is what my screen looks like as I'm reviewing. I can go through the whole game one move at a time or I can skip the fodder and focus on the highlights. It's a neat tool but It's an especially useful one for me as I try to improve. As a reminder, I decided not to use any chess theory or lessons to get better, to focus on personal improvement over learned improvement. But if I didn't get any direction at all, I'd probably make very little progress. So I use these reviews for retrospective lessons at least. Let's focus on the top right.

This screenshot was from a different moment in the same match. Do you notice the pattern developing? This avatar is very quick to point out when a move that doesn't make sense is played. I get a lot of them. It never gets less painful. It's bad enough to see a queen fall to a pawn, but then to have this guy say "That's a blunder" is sometimes soul crushing.

There is a silver lining however. I commit far fewer mistakes than I used to. Having my man right there point out every folly like a game of bingo has done a lot to point out the simple mistakes that are easier to address.

For instance, one of my biggest issues is focusing too much on saving my pieces instead of moving the game forward. Keeping powerful pieces is important, but not at the expense of a more advantageous position. What results is a prolonged game of cat and mouse. It's hard to recognize in the moment--I panic when my queen is threatened--but have it pointed out enough and eventually you learn.

Another bad habit of mine that is quick to be pointed out is my lack of "piece development." As the digitized gentlemen has explained many times before, developing a piece means moving it from its starting position. Doing so gives it more opportunity to be useful. I get so focused on my plan with one or two pieces that I forget about all the others. Then suddenly it's late-game and everything useful is either trapped or on the other side of the board.

Actions have consequences. Bad decisions result in bad outcomes. It's simple. It applies to chess as much as it does outside out of it. But just like real life the good decisions in chess also result in really satisfying wins. Who knew knights could be so fun with their funky little L movements?

I've started to notice a little improvement in my chess game in the last couple weeks. I do need to try and play more but that's besides the point. All of my bad chess moves have led me to some pretty good games. And that's progress.