#at least I got one last birthday in
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#welp#I'm dead#at least I got one last birthday in#jfc#WHAT in TARNATION#CURT#SIR#ILL TAKE THAT GUM#curt hennig#reedsy's death post#wwf
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PARKER YANG APPRECIATION POST ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#the 1st one was originally meant to be part of a bigger piece for the waylay#but. parker was the only thing that turned out right#from there#ummm#ok tagging#malevolent#malevolent fanart#parker yang#arthur lester#HES THERE TOO! in one (1) picture#yeag (:#i fuckinv love parker so much#i think about him sometimes#tecgnically got the 2nd one wrong since parker is the one haunting the narrative but shhhh#um#this might be my last post before i get a drawing tablet for my birthday. which is soon#and then i will go to drawing digitally world or at least try lol#their ass is NOT ready ‼️‼️‼️#art tag
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@pscentral event 22: 2023 wrapped
↳ DISNEY CHANNEL IN 2023
#disney channel#pscentral#disneyedit#disneychanneledit#dcomedit#disneynetwork#userjessica#userzackmartin#usergif#usersource#usercreate#userrobin#userkraina#tuserheidi#tuservaleria#usershreyu#rogerhealey#tuserkit#smallscreensource#*edits#this gifset took me way too long bc i had to do so much maths to figure out the size of all the gifs and i kept getting it wrong#and also i kept messing up the order of the dates so i'd have to rearrange the whole thing and do the maths over again#generally got so frustrated i'm over this set here just have it#so please don't tell me if i missed anything bc i will in fact cry <3#also the chibi birthday short didn't actually come out on the 18th that's just the day of the anniversary#and hamster and gretel started last year but had new episodes that lead into this year but were still part of s1#and i didn't know what date to do so i just did the finale don't question it i had to include it somewhere or someone would complain#ANYWAY i hope at least one person who isn't me cares about this bc i spent way too much time on it
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which characters do you want to draw more of?
yknow i feel like this is probably more pointed towards star trek. which there ARE a lot of trek characters id like to draw more of. but you just opened a whole can of worms man theres so much stuff i love that i havent really done much fanart for..... i want to do scooby-doo fanart soooo bad but i never get past the sketch phase....i havent drawn hardly any paranatural in ten years... woould love to draw more my babysitter's a vampire fanart its been so long since ive drawn those guys....... ive wanted to do jaane tu ya jaane na redraws for the longest time... okay i wont go on any longer ill stick anythin g else. in the tags lmao
#ask#anon#om shanti om i want to do fanart of om shanti om so so so bad but id want it to be colored n finished but. i dont finish things much :(#gravity falls ive got gravity falls wips tht i wanna finish#AMERICAN DRAGON i wanna draw jake long again its been forever since ive drawn that guy#PARANORMAN MY FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME PARANORMAN#jab we met my favorite romcom#ive got a screenshot redraw of that but i haated how it turnedd out lmao#aditya kashyap u are sooo handsome.#i just get so single minded about things and get so many ideas that i just have to draw that one thing over and over and over#and i get stuck with so many wips that i never finish#that i cant even get around to drawing the other things i like because they arent the one media thats shoved its way to the front f my brai#anyways.#at least i had a scooby doo halloween costume last year#somewhat fanart considering i did a painting for it. but it was captain cutler........#i had a scooby-doo birthday party when i was 5 and i think it was probably the best birthday ive ever had and will ever have
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aahh i didn't even mean to, but it seems fitting to post a pic of my new tattoo on the car's first birthday ♥️ this band means so much to me and has done for well over a decade, and this album has truly rewired my soul, so it felt right to get this one done while i was in dublin for the last few shows of the tour for this album <3 (plus i really like the kind of meta-ness of getting 'body paint' tattooed tbh)
#i'm genuinely so thrilled with it <3#i'd planned to get a smaller version at first but then when i was at the shop and my artist tried some different stencil sizes and designs#i realised that i really loved the bigger version so i just went with it#and i'm so glad i did#i love how it looks and feels#it's on the inside of my bicep so it's not quite as visible when I just have my arms by my side#it still needs to peel btw lol#only got it done on wednesday#my other am tattoo is just a little fun one#but this one is a more meaningful to me <3#happy birthday the car <333#arctic monkeys#body paint#tattoo#the car tour#minnie talks#last post from me about all this i promise#for now at least
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(crawls feebly into frame) i wasn't able to make a mini cover today like i wanted because UTAU-synth hates me but at the very least i have some barely touched renders to commemorate the occasion (hell beast release day)
UST file by UtauRezio
#just vocasynth things#happy 12th and simultaneously also 4th birthday crevan i got you none accent with left voicebank w#this vb was. uh. supposed to release today but#as of june last year i was still only about#(checks notes) about 53% complete with the oto#and would only be Fully complete with the oto if i fully oto'd at least 6 samples every day until#(checks notes again) this last december#long story short i would have died had i not tabled the project sdkfjhgldjf#one day i'll get things out there ! ! ! !#for now though future me is screaming and biting and killing me with hammers#the things i do to myself <33333#EDIT: (hits play and is immediately hit by the fact that i mixed this with my bad earbuds) oh my
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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one of the absolute funniest moments on scott's tour that i wasn't able to capture on camera (for obvious reasons) was at the meet and greet after the nashville show these two older gay guys mentioned they were reading scott's wikipedia page before the show to find out more to chat about at the meet and greet and like. idk if this is just because i am very familiar with scott's wikipedia page but you could tell that was the extent of their scott knowledge (which is valid not everyone is researching a documentary on the guy)
but then they asked about the poster for the lowest show, which they'd never heard of before their wikipedia reading, specifically this quote:
"The posters—featuring Thompson lying supine on the ground with a big wad of semen dripping down the side of his face—went up around the city on September 10, 2001"
and they were like "wow we'd love to see those posters hahaha" and i immediately jump in like "oh i have that photo on my phone give me like 2 seconds"
to be clear: these guys had not interacted with me or acknowledged my existence the entire conversation. they had their backs to me when they were talking to scott, i did not introduce myself as directing the documentary since i wasn't filming and they didn't ask who i am, etc. but my brain was like "oh someone wants to learn more about scott? my time to shine, let me pull up that folder in my camera roll". even scott was like jfc here they go again.
anyway i barely had to scroll back in my doc research folder so i immediately held out my phone to the guys and showed them this
it's a photo taken days after 9/11 of scott in front of the posters for his show which was supposed to open the following week
so i hold out my phone and explain this thinking like hey i'm being so helpful these guys wanted to see this aspect of scott lore and i gave it to them!! meanwhile these two old guys are like i can't even focus on the poster anymore i am standing next to scott thompson and also WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD AND WHY DID THEY JUST HAVE THIS ON THEIR PHONE?
another one of the funniest tour moments was after meeting up with some gay guys in their 70s who were friends-of-a-friend-of-scott and immediately befriending both of them we were about to leave and i asked for their phone number and scott just rolled his eyes and was like i'll give you his phone number in the car as though he was saying "jfc jessamine this is ridiculous even for you". he never ended up giving me the old guy's number
#i just love old gay men so much lmao#and they seem to love me (or at least the ones in the second example did lmao)#also one of the other indicators that the first guys only knew about scott's personal life from his wikipedia page#is that they assumed the last boyfriend mentioned on there was someone scott was still dating to this day#and they were like ''oh i'm so happy to hear you have (boyfriend's name)'' meanwhile scott is like ''uh sorry we broke up 21 years ago''#meanwhile i'm like SAME NUMBER OF YEARS THAT I'VE BEEN ALIVE SCOTT!!#to be fair scott hasn't had a serious long-term relationship since then so we have joked about my birth somehow being the antichrist#but just for scott thompson's romantic life. like there's some curse that scott can't be in a serious relationship until i am#which is very funny bc both of us did in fact have a date we were looking forward to when we got back from the tour#in my case mine is with a hot nonbinary person who works at the venue where scott did his boston show and that's how we met lmao#this is also why i was pissed off that my instagram locked me out bc i have hot nonbinary person's instagram but not their phone number#and i said i'd message them when i got back from the tour. which i cannot do#tempted to just message them as mouth congress (the one account i can still get into) and send them my phone number#maybe i'll do that if i don't get my instagram back by buddy's birthday#anyway maybe this is oversharing about both my love life and scott's love life but i just find it very funny#like i was never someone in high school who went on dates and gossiped about it with my friends#and now i get to have some bizarre version of that where my peer group is goddamn scott thompson????#between this and me pulling up the lowest show pic in like 2 seconds yeah maybe we are weirdly close lmao#but i wouldn't have it any other way
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I love the sims 2 because it will completely wreck your shit right when you’re least expecting it
#i’ll set the scene for you: i’m doing the prosperity challenge (basically a challenge where you create a number of completely randomised#families and you play them in rotation. rules vary but generally the goal is to make all your sims as successful as possible#and it’s meant to add some variety and drama to the game)#so i’ve played through the first four families which were all some variation of either grandparents or teenagers looking after kids#just because that’s how my rolls fell. so i got to the last house which was just one adult man and i was like okay.#i JUST need an heir out of him. just ONE. and things were going great! he already had a boyfriend (the random uncle of the first family#i played realllly liked him and i was like ‘this might as well happen’) so i had them try for baby. then his dream job (slacker lol)#came up in the newspaper on the FIRST DAY and he kept getting promoted! i also had him adopt a stray dog i thought was cute#his pregnancy went unbelievably well. he only passed out while eating one time. i allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security#and then mans ✨WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND GAVE BIRTH TO QUADRUPLETS✨#look this is honestly on me for downloading the triplets and quads mod. i don’t even know why i do it. just for the risk factor?#regardless there was only a 3% chance for this and yet it STILL happened. on the first birth in the neighbourhood no less!!!!!#bear in mind this man is living in a 2 bedroom starter home; has one paycheque (GROCERY STORE CLERK) AND he’s just spent a bunch of money#on his new dog. and we can’t exactly sell the dog’s stuff because it’s essentials#i managed to find the money for 4 cribs and a nanny fucking Somehow. and then carnage ensued#i don’t think this man bathed for 3 days. i got the dog a job and then realised it got weekends off so wouldn’t be going#aging them all up into toddlers aged ME. i think they’re technically classified as some being a day older than the others but idc#i’ll rectify it at the next birthday. or at one of their birthdays anyway#it was just SO messy. next rotation should be better though??? i had him marry the kids’ other father (who is an elder so will probably be#around approximately 5 minutes) who bought in exactly £5 but at least there’s an extra person to change diapers and get bottles#i see a lot of nannies in these kids’ future i fear#personal
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Hands of hips looking down shaking my head I don't know how to sugarcoat this so I won't but signs is so much better than nope. I don't know how people even say the movie aged bad. I think the feelings they have for the director cloud their view (I don't even know how either of his names). You got a 1:30hs movie vs a 2hs movie (I'm cutting the 10 minutes of credit for both) where in one you are never bored and are gripped by emotions and the other where you sit waiting for anything to happen. Like I'm sorry but there's no fight here. Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby.
#luly talks#like i never questioned a thing ppl did during i got dizzy#holy fuck#um. fuck was i saying thst was a lot um#ah yeah. no aside from jupe everyone else is weak as fuck in nope writing wise. when angel was almodt getting killed i was there like 😐#while i went thru a whole back and froth w Merrill from hating to loving him#signs has a lot of soul. AND A SOLID FUCKING MESSAGE. UNLIKE SOMEONEEE TELLING YOU TO KILL ONE OF A KID NON INVASIVE SPECIES#I'M SO MAD ABOUT WHAT THEY DID TO MY GIRL#AT LEAST THE ONE ALIEN THEY KILLED IN SIGNS WAS LIKE. *ONE*.#the rest of his kind just fucked off and also he was a PETTY ASSHOLE#so you know it's justified. bc whah they did in nope wasn't#im so mad i dont wanna be mad i wanna be happy thinking of a family who is shown to deeply love each other#nope wishes.#also the later has nothing scary at all like. it's a bit uncomfortable but 2002 alien man had me jumping in place screaming man.#saw a shadow outside its the fucking birthday alien coming to. touch my neck with his fingers or something.#last time this happened was when i watched the first evil desf#and before that it was the second coming#thah one fucked me up good#the bigger public is just wrong about horror movies but i get it. i get it like no one gets it.
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I know from friends that spending hundreds of dollars on makeup is a thing that people do but I just spent $200 on 15 of the one long-discontinued lip colour that I actually like and i feel like an insane person
#it was discontinued over a decade ago#and the particular shade shows up online very very rarely#the last time I found it I paid $70 for three of them because of shipping from the US#and then one got eaten by the dog#these ones at least were located in australia so no stupid shipping#I wear so so little makeup that not only will this last me like 10 years but this will probably be the only makeup I buy this year#because I own a dozen of my one (also long-discontinued) pressed powder and I bought a new eye shadow palette last year#since I needed to put in a little bit of effort when a friend had a fancy going-out birthday#and honestly I never really use either of them because I never go out any more#all I really need is my beloved covergirl outlast lipstain in 420 sassy mauve and I am good#it's literally a texta it's the perfect lip stain for people like me who don't like the feel of makeup
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#this is me just screaming into the void#but this week has been hard. like one of the hardest weeks I've had to get through in the longest time#tues was my great grandma's 12th anniversary of her passing#wed I got the news that a friend passed away suddenly#thurs was my late father's birthday#fri was that friend's funeral but I can't go#and there's a whole host of other things going on in my family now that I cannot put out into the internet just yet#personally I'm just so so tired#I am not spiralling. At least I don't feel like I am. but it's been so hard#I cannot turn to my family because of whatever's going on right now#I can't really turn to my friends just yet because my emotions are still percolating#my only consolation and also burden is that I will be away for a wedding soon and after that my last big trip for 2024#I feel so spread thin right now#I actually sat in the car with my sausage McMuffin crying to Hao's Haicheng and Woozi's What Kind of Future this morning#it's the first time I cried like that in a long while because I rarely let myself get to that point#idek why I am writing this#I think I just wanted to scream into the void for a bit#gab irl#thing is with the friend that just passed; he was part of the party crowd I used to run with#we are all kinda spread all over now -- some moved back to their own countries; some married and moved; some with kids...#we haven't partied together since before the pandemic#we kept talking about wanting to link up soon and catch up#I had even been thinking about him lately#and now he is gone and I do not have the place to pour my grief and my regrets into
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can't wait for the alkaloid solos also
#ohhhh they're going to go So hard how am i supposed to wait til dec 20#thats so far away.#can you tell im listening to the alkaloid discography rn#crazy bcs every song is making me go ''wait no actually my fav alkaloid song is this one''#i shouldve gone for feather touch airaaaa <-is already pulling on his birthday#aira please be nice 2 me can i get at least one 5*#either is fine because theyre both an upgrade to my branco team#please aira#mar's midnight rambles#last time on the branco banner i got kogas fs1 and just left him at lvl 1 for 6 months until i found the card again im sorry dude#atp im like. half a step away from being alkaloidp they Are on my top 5 easily i think
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Anyone else mourning their time now—as if it’s already passed—but it hasn’t. I’m here?
#i don’t know#it feels like limbo kinda#when I was 22 it felt—well I still a#am???#i still am 22 but last year it felt so weird? I kept FEELING like I was already 23#and i would get so surprised when I remembered—hey you just turned 22#and now Im gunna be 23#and it feels like yes—that’s right#THATS the age I’m suppose to be—that’s the age I’ve been ALL ALONG even now just a few more days#but—idk why am I sad? I don’t care about that—maybe birthdays just make me sad?#22 felt like limbo—I got a new job—I want a different job—I want to see the beach#eww I’m still 22??? that feels fake#i DONT like that age one bit—never felt right#i felt 21–21 at least felt real—I want 23 to feel real too#and all this is just me being weird in the head#i should have asked for the week off
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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ㅤbyan doesn't care much for their birthday. growing up, they would get lost in the shuffle a lot of the time and end up lucky if they got so much as a slice of cake. they did get a few parties thanks to some of their foster families, but most years there was little more than disappointment to speak of — something that hits hard when you're a kid and birthdays are still exciting. this led to a lot of jealousy toward the kids who were celebrated, a lot of misplaced anger, and because of this there were a couple instances of them lashing out at birthday parties they were invited to. ...needless to say, they weren't invited to many more after this.
at this point they prefer to ignore the day entirely. all it really does is serve as a reminder of how little they mean to the world around them. even those happy memories they have of having the day celebrated have turned sour, becoming a further reminder of how replaceable they are even to people who do care about them.
the last few years, they've "celebrated" on their birthday by going out to be self-destructive and get impossibly high, often not returning home until well after 8 the next morning.
#not to keep making their tragic backstory tragic but lmao#it's not their birthday yet but it's coming up on the 30th meaning this has already been on my mind for the last two weeks#playin around with the idea of making it their Official 18th birthday but idk IDK i haven't decided#anyway yeah they definitely trashed at least one poor kid's birthday cake and blamed it on the dog#probably punched a birthday kid in a fit of jealousy too tbh#why wallow when you can take your bitter anger out on someone who has all the things you don't?#tbh some part of them would probably kill for the sort of party where they can feel like a kid again#something that'd really soothe that deeply repressed part of them that never got to grow up#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ HEADCANON ⋮ DANGER IN THE FABRIC OF THIS THING I MADE.#drug use cw
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