mctreeleth

[mctreeleth]

thr funniest part of therapy to me is when you first come in and you're exchanging niceties and they say "hello! how are you" and you say "im fine how are you :)" and then 30 seconds later they put on their therapist voice and say "so how are you doing?" and you go well lisa. believe it or not im doing Bad

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smootie :)

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My favorite thing to say when someone won't do something for me is, "Aw, c'mon, it's my birthday this year," and if they catch on and say, "What are you talking about? This YEAR? Everybody has a birthday this YEAR," respond with, "You're really gonna act like this on everybody's birthday?"

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happy old gnoll

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hey kinda messed up that 1st degree burn is the mildest burn but 1st degree murder is the worst murder. they should have collaborated more on that one.

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I know some of you will love this

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you know what. I think I should be allowed to temporarily turn into a seal and go swimming around in the ocean for a while. just submit a little note to work that says "sorry, I need to take some sick time, I am becoming a seal" and leave for a week

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Doggust Day 2: Basenji

I really love that this dog breed has wrinkles only between their brows. They look so concerned. 😫

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accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you

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ITS IMPORTANT AND @official-penis-posts NEEDS TO SEE!!!

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I wonder what People Who Really Like Trains liked best before trains. the first sights of the first trains in history must’ve hit those brains like a galaxy going off.

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"family function"...? i didn't know it could do that