#aspecs with personality disorders

[flip-flopping-frede]

Something that I see continuously left out of aspec discussions regarding ways aspecs may or may not connect with fellow humans, is the fp bond.

The acommunity is open and accepting about other forms of attraction that are not romantic and sexual, and even has a Split Attraction Model, and at the same time there are aspecs with personality disorders that exist. We experience something that aspecs that don’t have personality disorders fail to address, and that is the fp bond.

In my experience, the fp bond feels like an attachment more than an attraction; I don’t necessarily feel a “pull” since I am already pulled in/already connected/already attached. The fp experience is different for everyone tho. For some pw PDs, I think it can manifest as the symptoms of the PD lessening around the fp, or the symptoms of the PD worsening around the fp. The fp of someone with a PD may feel like someone who the pw the PD can tolerate “the most” out of anyone else/feel comfortable unmasking around, or the fp could be someone who the pw the PD feels their world revolves around.

Either way, the fp bond is something that is typically significant for pwPDs. It can be a game changer in terms of human connection, especially for aroaces and aspecs who are also aspec in ways besides romantic and sexual attraction, such as aplatonic, asensual, anaesthetic/non-aesthetic, etc.

Awareness and acceptance for people with personality disorders is essential. Our experiences (including the bond with the fps) are important valuable parts that make up the acommunity. I just think it would be so interesting and validating if, when aspecs are discussing ways aspecs experience human connections, or why they may choose to do things that society does not understand, the fp bond was included.

Some aroace people may do something as casual as becoming roommates with their fp (I have personality disorders where the people experience extreme fear or high anxiety in mind, to make things like grocery shopping easier)

Some aroace people may do something as serious as getting married to their fp, because they feel like they genuinely could not live without their fp and want the commitment, tax benefits, and other perks of getting married (like making a big deal about the wedding instuff)

Both of these are valid and deserving of acceptance. Aspecs may be a marginalized group, but that doesn’t change the fact that pwPDs are also just as marginalized (if not more, since society stigmatizes pwPDs). This is why Awareness, discussions, and acceptance of intersectionality between being aspec and having a PD is essential for aspec pwPDs.

[the-multiple-prism]

people are allowed to love being aro, ace, apl, or similar even if their orientation is caused by a disorder, by the way

[aurangg]

I wish not having friends wasn’t seen as such a loser, weirdo, and lame thing. I wish having a lack of emotion and empathy wasn’t seen as creepy or cruel. I wish being aplatonic and not having platonic attraction or being aromantic and not having romantic attraction wasn’t seen as some undesirable thing.

I’m not a robot. I’m not boring and uninteresting. I just experience the world around us much differently to you. I’ve seen things you couldn’t even dream of. I’ve experienced things you wouldn’t wish on anybody.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Aromantic + NPD culture is realising how tragic the myth of Narcissus is.

Just because he doesn't love someone back, he was cursed to fall in love with his reflection and stare at it until he died, not being able to be loved back.

And now, everyone just throws around the term 'narcissist' as a synonym for abuser . . .

-🐭🧪

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[joker-and-the-queen]

We need more aromantic, asexual, and aplatonic characters who’s orientations are a result of their disorders actually.

[spaghettimakesflags]

asexual npd flag

[hpdcultureis]

hpd / npd traits / aroace culture is flirting with people just to get attention and compliments, and not actually feeling any attraction at all. sometimes i flirt with people i hate just to start something or get attention.

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[npd-polls]

demographics question:

i am aspec and npd is a reason why

i am not aspec and npd is a reason why

i am aspec and npd has nothing to do with it

i am not aspec and npd has nothing to do with it

nuance

see results

(notes: aspec, in this instance, refers to ALL THREE of asexual, aromantic, and aplatonic: if you are any of them, you would fall under this category. nuance is there for if you feel it's important to clarify that you are one and not the other, and that one is npd related and the other is not.

this is a question of absolutes. if npd has anything to do with your s/r/p identity, like if you didnt have npd your identity would be different in any way, answer yes on that part. if you feel youd still be the exact same without npd, choose no.)

*Aromantic, asexual, OR aplatonic

[knifegrrrl1312]

so i feel like how aspec sexuality connecting to abandonment trauma and personality disorders is not talked ab enough, well it is by ppl with personality disorders but i wanna talk ab it basically w my experience w bpd and being aro/ace spectrum

and i know fellow bpd havers know the feeling of being unlovable very well. For me i'm demiromantic and it would take literal years for me to actually develop a genuine romantic attraction to someone, and if when i do, that person would straight up become my fp and it would be torture pain and suffering (for me mostly)

Like romantic feelings for me is nothing fun, because its linked to my mental issues inherently i feel. And i still want a romantic relationship one day but that feeling of being unlovable and like, i'm just not suited for it (in the sense that i couldnt handle it i feel) is like,, i will just not try there is no point. I will suffer for another person always wondering do they hate me will they leave me, ofc they will there's not much i can offer even. I will end up hating the person i love and then go back to loving them and then hating them etc etc.. Not to mention amanormativity (idkkk if thats how u spell it or if thats the right term) but basically i assume people want something from me that i simply cannot give. I will never be able to have sex with someone, i will never want to, I actually just wouldn't put myself thru that for someone else and because i feel like thats all anyone would actually want from me i will just probably never want to be in a relationship. Like for me personally i'm supperrr asexual like u have no idea i've known i was ace since i was literally 10 yrs old and nothing has changed i will always be like this, and i dont mind doing *some* suggestive sexual stuff if its fun and chill but the second a line gets crossed i just want no part in it and i refuse to put myself thru that.

And i'm also very fine w being single like i only ever feel like i want a gf once in awhile but i feel completely whole just by myself and my life is objectively easier and more relaxing without romance. For me i don't think i'll actually be ready for a genuine romantic relationship until i feel like i am and that will be hopefully when i'm older lol

Idk i feel like because of the stigma against aro/ace ppl and also the experience of bpd, it enhances the feeling of being unlovable. But I want to make it clear to ppl reading this post that i'm aware that i actually am lovable, this is just a feeling. And i didn't write this to complain, and if you have the same experience as me or a similar one, that doesn't mean there is no hope for you or for me. The world is so much bigger than how my brain perceives everything. Like i do want to stress that these feelings are mostly a symptom of my mental illness lol and if you have bpd or a pd it doesn't make you unlovable, bc everyone is lovable by default yknow.

Even people who's hearts are a mouthful, like mine. And even if ur reading this and you don't have the experience of having a pd but you still have feelings of being unlovable or like, there is no hope for you in romance because you are arospec or acespec or both like me, well there is hope for everyone because the world is so much bigger than societies stigma and people are as diverse as the stars.. But lmk if you have a similar experience anywayz ppl <3

[npd-hottakes]

Empathy (and the lackthereof) is very similar to romantic or sexual attraction, in how some people feel it, some don't, for some people it fluctuates, and for some people it depends on how well they know the person.

A lack of empathy is very similar to being aspec. Especially in how you're expected to feel a certain way about other people, but you just don't.

There really aren't any differences

[schizoid-culture-is]

szpd culture is a lot of us being aromantic, asexual and schizoid (of course), all things that are excluded from communities for not "suffering enough"

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[receivingtranny]

Borderomantic

sources - LGBTQIA Wiki

Similar to neurosexual/neuromantic, borderomantic is an experience of romance that is so heavily influenced by having borderline personality disorder, that one's romantic identity and BPD cannot be unlinked.

[our-aplatonic-experience]

Being Demiplatonic feels alienating on alot of levels

1. With Alloplatonics

I don't want to make new friends! I'm happy with the few I have already and they feel like more than enough [my moots].

I never have the active urge to be friends with someone, they almost always have to initiate it.

The one time I've ever tried befriending someone first to be friends and not acquaintances was after I knew him for half a year and probably formed an emotional bond [Then that same year he started bullying me because I'm "weird" (ADHD)]

2. With the Aplatonic / Loveless community

I don't mean that they've / you've been unintentionally phobic before btw, not at all! It just feels alienating when you can partially relate to both sides but you're not fully either. I'm not loveless, I love my few friends, i just don't have an attraction before a bond

3. With myself

I was a bullied kid. I still am bullied. So I have this constant internal conflict of 'am I aplspec or has the bullying made me go antisocial!' Where neither side wins.

I also easily confuse excitement of feeling like someone wants to connect with me to platonic attraction, so I struggle to tell alot

Who knows, maybe I am Allo but just don't have the urge to chase my platonic attraction, or the ability to identify it

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[gloom-and-doom-in-my-room]

You deserve to exist, regardless of if you feel empathy or love. These things are not inherent to being a good person, and being a good person isn't necessary to deserving to live.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Asexual npd culture is this:

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[mydarlingedits]

ummm u should be able to find art of him on this blog https://www.tumblr.com/sparkleswap?source=share cuz thats where the au is hosted n stuff. srry 4 not being more specific b4!!!!

ASEXUAL + NPD POLARIS ICONS

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        𐙚˙⋆.˚ Date Posted 𓇿 7/17/24 .ᐟ

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[PLAIN TEXT: 'op is an adult' on the top left, and 'No DNI ! Just be nice' on the bottom right].