aurangg

[aurangg]

privacy is the last true luxury. to be able to live your life as you choose without having everyone comment on it or know about it.

[aurangg]

“your trauma doesn’t define you” no actually it does. it dictates every aspect of my shitty life.

[aurangg]

I lied. I do hate them.

Don’t you just love intruding on and tampering with another alter’s blog.

[aurangg]

I share a body with this thing?

Don’t you just love intruding on and tampering with another alter’s blog.

[aurangg]

What has become of *my* blog.

[aurangg]

everyone in the world is either a democrat or a republican. everyone in the whole wide world is a democrat and a republican and america is the largest and most populous country in the world and america is easily the most culturally diverse country in the world because the middle class white people in my state (like a little country) are very different than the middle class white people over there (another little country, once more called a "state") and you could never understand how bad it is in america, the main country in the world. where are you from again? it's bad in america and america is bad but the way that america is run is the only way a country could possibly be run unfortunately. i don't like it but it's the only right way for a country to be run and you don't get it because the main victims of the main country are all here and you aren't. where are you from again? they never told me about that place. i don't think you get that real people live in america. probably because you're a republican. real people live in america and real people are hurt by america but what can you do? god said america has to be like this. god said this because god is real so god is american. you don't get it because you're over there and we're all here in america, the realest country in the world. where are you from again? how can you talk like this with what's happening in america? you're a democrat, right? where are you from again? my country is so large it stretches over yours and presses down hard. it's not my fault that they never told me about that place. my country covers the world. you don't understand how bad this will be for real people in the real world, the first world, the only world. they never told me—where in america are you from again?

[aurangg]

White people's idea of diversity: one east Asian character, one black character, one hispanic character

The rest of the extremely diverse globe? No chance

[aurangg]

host: oh god i cant stop freaking out i cant stop freaking out oh god this is unbearable

protector: hello

protector: wow what a strange bodily feeling to go from extreme dysregulation to just vibing, almost like this is a psychiatric disorder

host waking up 8 hours later, experiencing dissociative amnesia: surely i cant have DID

[aurangg]

DID is simultaneously the most subtle, ambiguous disorder while also being the most intense, all-encompassing, extremely-personal-because-it-affects-fundamental-perceptions-like-memory-and-identity-at-all-hours-of-the-day disorder of all time.

[aurangg]

Paranoia too strong I can't even post because I feel like the entire app is stalking me and is documenting everything I post on paper

[aurangg]

I think we should have gay sadomasochistic sex at an abandoned place or something. And maybe watch Garfield afterwards.

Hell yes! Let's do it

[aurangg]

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

[aurangg]

[aurangg]

The host will try his hardest to remain in front. It's a constant fight for power. A constant "wait, wait, wait." Once he finally gives in and gives me any time, it is late into the night when we should be asleep. Smart strategy, but I won't let this happen again.

[aurangg]

When the dissociative identity disorder starts dissociating my identity

[aurangg]

miss your content 😭 where’s my regular info/history posts about west asia? where’s the relatable, albeit often depressed, rant posts? (that said, i hope you’re actually good irl and *not* depressed.)

Thank you so so much, I really appreciate it, genuinely that made my day. Thank you. Unfortunately I haven't been great and hence my absence here... but for you I will damn spam this account 💪🏆

You're right, I barely appear here, and when I do I either do nothing or reblog something. I haven't said something of my own in a while. It really warms my heart that you want me to, I can't even express how much that means to me enough 😭

[aurangg]

If DID only brings you suffering and misery that is normal. People talk about not having to be miserable to have DID and maybe some people find fun in their memory loss or intrusive communication. That's fine and a normal coping mechanism.

However, this is a trauma disorder, people with severe PTSD and dissociation will likely not think their trauma induced symptoms are genuinely funny. If that's how you cope cool but let's not diss people for being miserable because of an inability to function normally.

I personally don't find it funny when I feel as though I don't know the people in my home. I don't find it funny when I have distain for my friends. I don't find it funny when I have flashbacks and then can't remember the content of them and have to move on with a sense of unknowing. I don't have alters make silly comments on what I'm doing, I have severe intrusive thoughts that I have no connection to. My alters are keeping me alive, my brain is keeping me alive and it causes suffering and confusion and I am not able to trust my world view.

I love you systems who are suffering, even if you are in treatment, even if you know wallowing in your suffering is harmful. You cannot heal without first feeling your pain. Reality fucking sucks and I love you.