#aspec calls

[queer-advice-hotline]

i miss the aro-ace confessions blog a lot. i’m ace myself and it was one of my favorite places to find community with fellow aspecs. now that the blog’s inactive i don’t know where to go. do you have any aspec spaces to recommend? advice in the notes is welcome as well :) thanks for starting this blog!

@our-aroace-experience and @our-queerplatonic-experience and @our-aromantic-experience are all great for sharing your experiences, asking questions, and interacting.

@fuckyeahasexual is great for other ace content.

I'm afraid that's all I have for the moment, tag some good aspec accounts if you know them!

[kiwinatorwaffles]

the funniest thing you can do to a character who has a lot of different ships in canon/fandom is to make them aromantic. most eligible bachelor sees everyone as their friends

[the-siren-in-your-fridge]

Being aroace with a squish is really like. You look so nice and cute and pretty (not like that), I’d like to snuggle up in bed with you (not like that) and play with your hair (not like that) and lay there for a while (not like that) and hold your hand all the time (not like that) and hang out with you one-on-one (not like that) and get to you know you on a deep and personal level (not like that)

[evil-maryland]

Arophobes are so fucking stupid

"You just haven't found the right person!" "You're still young!"

Ok. I perhaps have found 'the right person'. now what?

I'm still under the Aromanticism Label. That didn't just change now that i have a 'right person'.

Maybe I needed an emotional bond first. Maybe I just don't like romance. Maybe I only like romance a limited amount.

Just because we don't fit into your conception of love on first sight doesn't mean we don't exist.

Happy Aromantism.

[meowzet]

good morning, asexual community! [the entirety of tumblr]

[stonebutchery]

it's kind of baffling to me that entire sub-groups of queer folks endured a decade of being singled out and targeted for being asexual, aromantic, bisexual, pansexual, nonbinary, polyamorous, etc. and i have yet to see any substantial apologies from people who were directly responsible for causing genuine harm. i find it completely bizarre that there are so many people who want to sweep their past contributions to widespread lateral aggression toward specific queer groups under the rug like it didn't happen so they can wash their hands of it... there are people who are irreversibly traumatized because of this. there are people who took their lives because of it.

i'm wording the post like despite the fact that exclusionism targeting these groups (and more) continues to persist partly because it was a really frighteningly common trend to harass people just because they were ace, aro, bi, pan, nonbinary, poly, etc... and it's crazy to me that many of the people who were affected by this massive multi-pronged public online bullying campaign against the 'unacceptable types of queers' are the ones still receiving messages like "my url got put on an aphobe blocklist in 2016 because apparently a post i made making fun of asexuals got some teenage asexuals harassed and i still distrust asexuals to this day because of that" ...are you fucking kidding me?

we will never achieve any kind of unity as a queer community while we are insisting upon ignoring the hurt that lateral aggression has caused, and acting like the burden lies on the shoulders of the people who were harmed to forgive the people who harmed them and 'just move on', many of whom are not sorry for what they did! or they don't consider what they did to be wrong! how is that not deeply disturbing and troubling to more of you?

03/06/2024 edit: i’m putting a complete moratorium on this post because i am really sick and tired of having my point not only completely misconstrued and distorted entirely but also weaponized against transfems (particularly in replies i have decided to delete about how “ugh yes, exclusionism, and now transfems are bullying transmascs”) i find that really sickening and i’m demanding that it stop, and i can make it stop by turning off reblogs. so i have.

my objective in writing this post was never to request an apology from people who have been laterally-aggressive exclusionists in the past. i don’t think we’ll ever get more than a handful of apologies from those people, anyway. my point was that it was pretty terrifying to witness and experience a lot of lateral aggression that transferred from the real, in-person world to the deeply online spaces back into the real, in-person world in a really fucked up feedback loop and being a young queer person during this time and having that shape me, snd shape the experiences of my queer friends who have been traumatized by it.

however, it is absolutely unacceptable to me that the issue of transmisogyny is so blatantly overlooked by our entire community. for decades, transfems have experienced oppression and exclusion from transmisogyny-exempt women and queers. their exclusion from political queer liberation movements has caused many of the major schisms within our community we are still having arguments about to this day. if you want collective queer liberation, you must uplift transfems. there is no other option. you don’t get to write off all transfems just because one person who happened to be transfem was mean to you online or something.

i have answered and responded to way too many conspiracy-brained transmisogynist reactionaries to allow this post to keep fucking snowballing with people writing paragraphs in the tags about “transmisandry” or “transandrophobia.” please get your heads out of your asses.

this absolutely is the transmisogyny website, as always, and the place where all basic textual comprehension skills go to die, apparently.

[redysetdare]

A character looks straight into the camera and says "I'm not interested in romance" and people will still say "No, it's not confirmed they're aromantic!!!" "They could change their mind!!!" "it's a challenge for them to overcome!!!" "They'll have character development that makes them fall in love"

It's like they are given the most blatant answer to a character romantic orientation and they actively ignore it. all the while all it takes is subtext for people to speak as if it is fact for a character to be any other sexuality.

[ruskalehto]

If I have to hear someone say ”it has to be romantic, or at least a qpr” about a fictional relationship one more time I’m going to explode

[biscylbenzene]

tw for aphobia and uhh less than consensual sexual experiences :/

shitty little comic i made mostly for the sake of ace awareness and reminding people not to let their partners manipulate them and that it gets better and blah blah blah. but also cause i've waited 5 months to make this god awful chappell roan joke and if i have to trauma dump to make it then so be it

[aroaessidhe]

asexual books: m/m adult/NA

Cupid Calling - romance - 1/2 MCs is demi

After The Dragons - sff novella - ace-spec MC

The Charm Offensive - romance - 1/2 MCs is demi

From The Dark We Came - fantasy novella - demi MC

The Reanimator’s Heart - historical paranormal - 1/2 MCs is demi

How To Sell Your Blood and Fall In Love - urban fantasy - 1/2 MCs is demi/greyaro

The Circus Infinite - sci-fi - ace MC

The Perfect Assassin - fantasy - ace MC

Of The Wild - fantasy - ace MC

The One And The Other - low fantasy - ace MC

Never Been Kissed - romance - demi MC

Stake Sauce - paranormal - greyaroace MC

More Than Enough - fairytale - two ace mlm MCs

The Trouble - contemporary - aro gay MC

#aspec books / aspec database / tumblr masterpost

[g1ngerbeer]

enjoy

[queer-advice-hotline]

Hi, can someone be bi AND asexual? I am struggling with if I think the same sex is attractive to me or not... :( I THINK they look pretty sometimes, but I don't wanna kiss them, just hold hands and maybe cuddle? But I DO like the other sex and want to kiss them sometimes? I'm very ace yes, but now, I'm questioning if I am also bi and if I AM even bi.

*internal screaming*

WHAT DOSE IT MEEEEAN-

You could be asexual and biromantic.

You could also be on the asexual spectrum but not fully ace. You may be aceflux, based on what you said. Aceflux is an identity where you fluctuate between being more asexual and more allosexual.

[kiwinatorwaffles]

honestly the world would be much better if everyone just realized that asexual people can do whatever the fuck they want and still be ace btw

[grimalditeuthis]

i love being an aromantic audio drama fan its like being in a banquet hall that has all of my favourite foods set out just for meee :⟩

[aspecassasin]

It's just so lonely sometimes

[fluffytimearts]

Jaden from Lease bound if she bothered to research and learned about others instead of being close-minded.