#asoue incorrect quotes

[athena-theunicorn]

The Baudelaires: That's count Olaf! Every adult in a five mile radius: Don't be ridiculous.

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

incorrect ASOUE

[jeaninesfavouriteserum]

alternatively: olivia caliban and esmé squalor

"Do you ever think about how it's so hard to find a constant sense of identity outside of what the world constantly throws at them, and that's why so many people just lack one?"

"...no."

-jeanine matthews and peter hayes

[tinkerbitch69]

Jacques Snicket: As Dante said-

Count Olaf: Jub jub ba doo ba doo ba doo ba doo bang

Jacques Snicket: … he would not fucking say that!

[afterthegreatunknown]

Post-Canon Headcanon Moodboard Aesthetics Group Dynamics for (the former) Captain Widdershins and Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, where there's a fifty/fifty percent chance that whenever these three are together, the situation will spiral in some way or form.

Widdershins: Aye, it’s fat. I drank fat. Isadora: Yeah, we know. Hector told us of that two minutes ago before leaving. Widdershins: Ah. *Widdershins drinks from the glass of fat again* Isadora: *SHRIEKS* Duncan: *finds himself rushing out of his chair to get that glass of fat away from Widdershins ASAP*

[mr-mentally-ill]

Jacques: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Beatrice: >:O language

Kit: Yeah watch your fucking language

Esmé: OKAY WHO TAUGHT KIT THE FUCK WORD?

Olaf: 'The fuck word'.

Lemony: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Kit: Oh my god they censored it

Olaf: Say fuck, Lemony.

Kit: Do it, Lemony. Say fuck.

[countessviolet]

Violet: Have you considered doing things differently?

Count Olaf: What!? My plan is full proof!

Klaus: Is that why it failed three times already?

[shit-the-vampyr-cast-never-said]

Jonathan: Didn’t Carl teach you anything?

Geoffrey: He taught me to survive.

Jonathan: Well they do say, "Those who can’t do... teach."

[vaguely-functional-directions]

Kit: *(driving 50km/h)* Jacques: You know this is a 40 zone, right? Kit: Is it? I didn't know that. Maybe they should put up a sign or something. Jacques: They did. We just passed it. Kit: In my defense, I did not see the sign. Jacques: Yes... I am aware...

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Klaus: I need you to swear, Sunny.

2 years old Sunny, literal baby: *stars on her eyes* FUCK!!

Klaus: ... Swear as in promisse.

Sunny: oh

[jammydogersthiughts]

Klaumelita:Double Feature(because apparently I am not creative enough for anything else)

Klaus: Carmelita… Carmelita: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck about what your about to say next. ———————————————————————————————————————————————— Carmelita: Hey,What’s sexting? Klaus: I'm not having this conversation with you.

[allthingsasoue]

Klaus: John Mulaney, John, John Mulaney, you're my butterfly, sugar baby!~

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

incorrect ASOUE

[incorrectjag]

Harm: On our side we have facts, science, and reason.

Mac: And all they have is fearmongering and lies.

Bud: Oh my God, they’re going to win, aren’t they, Sir? Ma’am?                 

[committing-arson-suicidially]

So, I'm making a series about demons and sinners and hell and shit. So if you wanna be a character, comment your oc and/or reblog with drawing of said oc

If you like this, you best be telling my ur oc with it. If your not, then don't like it. It's annoying.

[afterthegreatunknown]

just think about it

Gregor: How do you connect with a fictional character?

Josephine: What?

Ike: What?

Hector: What?

Widdershins: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation about Queequeg from Moby Dick* I'm glad you asked, aye!