#incorrect asoue quotes

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Klaus: I need you to swear, Sunny.

2 years old Sunny, literal baby: *stars on her eyes* FUCK!!

Klaus: ... Swear as in promisse.

Sunny: oh

[allthingsasoue]

Klaus: John Mulaney, John, John Mulaney, you're my butterfly, sugar baby!~

[athena-theunicorn]

The Baudelaires: That's count Olaf! Every adult in a five mile radius: Don't be ridiculous.

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

incorrect ASOUE

[tinkerbitch69]

Jacques Snicket: As Dante said-

Count Olaf: Jub jub ba doo ba doo ba doo ba doo bang

Jacques Snicket: … he would not fucking say that!

[mr-mentally-ill]

Jacques: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Beatrice: >:O language

Kit: Yeah watch your fucking language

Esmé: OKAY WHO TAUGHT KIT THE FUCK WORD?

Olaf: 'The fuck word'.

Lemony: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Kit: Oh my god they censored it

Olaf: Say fuck, Lemony.

Kit: Do it, Lemony. Say fuck.

[countessviolet]

Violet: Have you considered doing things differently?

Count Olaf: What!? My plan is full proof!

Klaus: Is that why it failed three times already?

[afterthegreatunknown]

nice pre-canon heacanon thing

Mr. Quagmire, walking down the stairs: Hm, given it’s a Sunday and I don’t have work to worry about, I think I’ll attempt to make French toast with jam. The kids were talking about it to themselves last week. It would be nice to surprise them with it. Do we have enough eggs though? Is that why Joanie wasn’t in bed when I woke up?

*Mr. Quagmire turns, and walks down the hallway that leads to the kitchen. He sees the door is close, with Mrs. Quagmire standing by it...for some reason.*

Mr. Quagmire: Hello there, Joanie. Is there something fascinating with the door that I don’t know about?

Mrs. Quagmire, laughing: The only thing that can be fascinating about a door is what’s behind it, Q.

*Mrs. Quagmire opens the door. Mr. Quagmire sees Duncan, Isadora, and Quigley standing near the table, with smiles on their faces. The table has a tall glass of orange juice, and a plate of French toast with jam.*

Duncan, singing: ~You are our dad!~

Isadora, joining in: ~You’re our dad!~

Quigley, shimmying: ~Boogie Woogie Woogie~

[bezdddakota]

I always liked those Incorrect Quotes memes so after playing GOW Ragnarok, I really wanted to turn this wonderful moment into a IQ meme because it was sound like something that Olaf would say.

[shit-the-vampyr-cast-never-said]

Jonathan: Didn’t Carl teach you anything?

Geoffrey: He taught me to survive.

Jonathan: Well they do say, "Those who can’t do... teach."

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Klaus: It's locked. You got a lock pick?

Violet: No, but I can make one really quick. Wait just...

Sunny: *kicks in the door*

[allthingsasoue]

Olaf, with a flamethrower in hand: How your backyard barbecue go, the Smiths?! Pretty good, it doesn't seem!

[vaguely-functional-directions]

Kit: *(driving 50km/h)* Jacques: You know this is a 40 zone, right? Kit: Is it? I didn't know that. Maybe they should put up a sign or something. Jacques: They did. We just passed it. Kit: In my defense, I did not see the sign. Jacques: Yes... I am aware...

[jammydogersthiughts]

Klaumelita:Double Feature(because apparently I am not creative enough for anything else)

Klaus: Carmelita… Carmelita: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck about what your about to say next. ———————————————————————————————————————————————— Carmelita: Hey,What’s sexting? Klaus: I'm not having this conversation with you.

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

incorrect ASOUE

[incorrectjag]

Harm: On our side we have facts, science, and reason.

Mac: And all they have is fearmongering and lies.

Bud: Oh my God, they’re going to win, aren’t they, Sir? Ma’am?