#ask timeout

[ask-timeout]

Insert reference to chairface from: the tick

Hm.....

(Must be a relative...)

[muffinlance]

Toddler, screaming at the injustice of the world: DADA, I NEED TO STOP YOU FROM BEING WRONG. THAT IS MY JOB.

[wildpeachfarm]

can you run a poll about what guy from munch crew would be the best boyfriend

you ask and I will deliver 🫡

(Ant and Velvet are not included because they only belong with each other)

[reegis]

mechs going to summer camp… what shenanigans would tiny child mechs get up to at a summer camp…

the camp would be in RUINS before the summer was over anon youv doomed all of these poor innocent camp counselors to hell

[strawbubbysugar]

Bad and Naughty Robots get put in the BORING CYLINDER

[feroluce]

Thinking today of henghill on some cold planet, one like Jarilo-VI or wherever, and Dan Heng getting his tongue stuck on some metal part of Boothill's VSKJSNSJD

Like Dan Heng is stuck to his neck, so Boothill has to pick him up and carry him to try to sneak them around to somewhere warm to thaw his tongue out. Don't worry, poor Dan Heng is just tired, that's why he's carrying him like this, no no he's fine don'tlookthatcloselybye!!

(Also Boothill is carrying Dan Heng bridal style. Obviously.)

And now, I get to show you all @hydrachea 's newest blessing upon this ship, because she took that and RAN WITH IT-

Crying imagining Dan Heng still stuck and trying to throttle Boothill to keep him from talking anymore JSJIZJSKKE

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I always thought that handcuffs were kinda stupid. As a little kid I would watch movies where the bad guys were hauled away in cuffs and I'd always think "alright, I guess that's inconvenient for them?" but I never really understood why they didn't just... take them off and escape

This curiosity heightened when I saw that my aunt had real metal handcuffs that locked with a real key and I quickly, before any adult could see what I was doing, shackled both my wrists with the cuffs as tight as they could go.

And when I say tight, I mean tight. I had reaaaaal skinny wrists and I was a child wearing adult handcuffs, so you'd think the cuffs would be loose but nope. Those things weren't circular anymore, they'd folded in so much that they looked more like the shape a cat's pupils turn when they're mad.

And what they don't tell you about real handcuffs? Those suckers are sharp. The inside edges are almost bladed, I guess to discourage exactly what I was trying to do but that certainly didn't stop my curious lil neurodivergent brain, oh no no.

Anyway, after about five minutes of pulling, straining, huffing and puffing, I finally went to find the adult with the key.

I was so disappointed.

And so, so hopelessly confused.

Course, no one questioned why I had locked my aunt's handcuffs and why I needed them unlocked. And, of course, I didn't communicate my confusion in any way.

So it wasn't until way later in life, when I had quickly shimmied out of one of those indestructible water park wristbands and saw the horrified eyes of my friends watching me with morbid glee, that I discovered that, apparently, most people can't dislocate their thumbs at will.

The moral of the story here is that neurodivergent children have no concept of typical versus atypical and that I cannot be contained by your petty mortal means.

[oneknightstand-if]

What’s the likely hood of Merlin throttling the MC if they keep on making future references in past Camelot to Arthur during their dreamswalking?

Well, Merlin can already snark at Cloudcuckoolander Lucid Dreamer MC in the next update over what they're doing. What they're doing being trying to initiate a temporal paradox or something.

But it's not too bad since Camelot is already full of kooky clairvoyants saying strange things (this includes Merlin themselves).

Biggest problem is if Camelot MC is usually all serious business and then starts having fits of insanity when Lucid Dreamer MC takes over. Which for good or ill may make determining their previous incarnation far easier for certain others to figure out.

[fisheito]

hiya l'il-- medium?...large?? Assorted Sizes-Guy

oh thanks! i could always use more spices-

. what am i supposed to do with this.

[smtown-tourist]

Shawols everywhere feeling like toddlers in timeout as they sit and whine, “Can I have Jinki back yet?”

[ask-timeout]

Chair. Do you know of Charlie the cursed phone guy?

No....whos that?

[tsams-and-co-memes]

I got a $100,000 for whoever blows that bitch’s brains out!

I'm broke and don't have money rn, but I'm offering up all of my pokemon cards and my entire movie and anime collection to anyone that successfully gets rid of him

[the-kr8tor]

The angst doesn't stop

Imagine growing old enough to see Hobie start getting crows feet, his hair becomes gray whether completely or not, his skin sags just a bit. He's still just as handsome as always to you, you're still both dearly in love.

Until you learn that he starts forgetting things a bit more easily, you see it in his eyes. Sometimes he doesn't remember where he is. He has trouble remembering dates.

Eventually he forgets you're you, that you're his y/n. He asks about you, remembers a young and sweet lovely person in his mind whom he dearly loved and wants to find to confess his heart to.

And you're right there in front of him, holding his hand and smiling as you feel yourself wanting to cry but unable to. You nod and just sweetly ask him what he loved about them, about you, what he remembers.

And when he's a bit more lucid he looks at you like he's found you again, as if you had been gone for years on end. He holds your hand in his and peppers your skin with soft kisses as he asks about your day. He knows, he knows he's losing himself but he'll never forget to ask how your day went. How you feel. He never fails to make you remember that you're loved.

(now this could be worse and I will make it so, so if you don't want even more angst I apologise)

What if you die before he does. What if he doesn't remember you did so he still waits for you when dinner time comes around. The table is set for two. He looks around and doesn't remember who or why there's another set of plates. He serves himself as he feels tears roll down his old cheeks. He isn't sure what the tears are for? Who are they for? You or him?

When he does remember you and waits for you he looks around the house trying to find his partner, his long life love. Until he looks up at your picture on the wall, your eulogy which he hung up and he tries to wrap his head around it. Placing his weaker hand on the cold glass of the frame as he stares at it. His eyes aren't what they used to be anymore but you're still beautiful in the picture, he knows you are. So he kisses the frame like you're still there and like you'll feel it.

-🪦 (trembling)

Oh my fucking god 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Someone help! 🪦Anon is torturing me with angst!!!!

[ak4e7a]

i'm legitimately so funny and u don't appreciate me staying up past my old hag bedtime to talk to u 😞

[weaverpop]

Berry War™️

(✨~ The Berry War ~✨Finale! )

Enough! - A Lionsword/Lotusnoodle Fic

“Strawberries!”

“Blackberries!”

“Strawberries!”

“Blackberries!”

“Strawberries!

MK’s eye twitched.

“Blackberries!”

Azure’s did the same.

“Strawberries are the perfect fruit! They can go in anything and are loved by everyone!”

Mei knew they loved their partners. They did! And the two poor shmucks had tried so hard to get these two idiots to come to an agreement, to little avail. Jing and Nezha were stubborn as mules, refusing to back down.

It was affecting everyone. The guards oooked miserable Everytime the topic was brought up. Sands strait up avoided tea time with them. Tang and Pigsy had resorted to wearing headphones to block out their fighting. Even Mei herself had stopped eating the fruits in question, just from how many related products the two Li’s shoved at her.

But poor mk and azure. As the partners of said fighting couple, they had no way out of this. Currently, they were seated on opposite sides, just listening to the days current fight.

“Blackberries are a unique taste that requires a fine palette!”

“Blackberries are a disgusting waste of fruit! They don’t even have a real color-!”

“Strawberries are red, not pink! Yet that’s the color they are often associated with-!”

“Strawberries are better-!”

“Blackberries are superior-!

“You wanna fight me on that old man?!”

“I’ll kick your ass you smartass brat!!”

Mei could see the exact moment Mk snapped.

“ENOUGH!”

Nezha and Jing were promptly grabbed by their respective partners, heaved into the air via the back of their shirts. They looked like kittens, and their stunned looks made the whole thing even more hilarious. Mei quickly covered her mouth to hide any laughter as the whole shop fell silent.

“We have had it with you two! All you do is fight over some stupid fruit!” Azure snapped, cutting Jing off as he went to speak. “This whole thing is getting ridiculous! It’s fruit. Not everybody is going to like one of the other! It’s a subjective opinion!”

“Not to mention,” Mk looked at Nezha in particular. “you were fixing to have an actual fight over it! Enough is enough, and I’m putting an end to this right here, right now! If you can’t get along, then you’re both going in timeout!”

Mei had to turn her head to hide her smile, and she could see Pigsy and tang do the same as the two celestials immediately tried to protest, clearly outraged. Timeouts were something Pigsy would do whenever mk and Mei had a bad argument, and it seems Mk was following in his footsteps.

Mk remained steadfast in his decision. “No! No arguing! You’re both going to sit in timeout and have a good think about it!”

Jing looked at Azure with incredulity and a bit of hurt, but azure remain unmoved as well. Mei had to cover her mouth again when the two celestials were moved to opposite sides of the shop and sat in separate booths. But the best part was their reactions. Nezha looked both irritated and offended, but Jing was downright sulking, giving Azure sad eyes and everything!

“Azzy-“

“Enough out of you.”

Oh. OH. Has this happened before?!

Mei took a deep breath, quickly walking to the back as her resolve started to crack. Thank haveans it was only the gang, Pigsy having closed early after the recent battle. Once she was safely out of earshot, she burst into laughter.

“Bwahahahaha! Ohmystarstheirfaces-!” She could barely get the words out between laughs, leaning against the kitchen counter. She vaguely saw Pigsy put down his ladle, head bowed as his own shoulders shook with silent laughter. Tang had no such reservations, laughing right along side Mei. They all laughed for a good little bit, before eventually pulling themselves together.

“So,” panted Tang, wiping some tears. “how long do you think Mk is gonna keep them there.”

“Probably less then an hour. Knowing mk, hed cave the minute Nezha gives him puppy eyes.”

Pigsy snorted, and Tang nodded his head at Mei’s reasoning. “Seems fair.”

True to Mei’s word, it lasted half an hour. Except, it wasn’t Mk, or even azure who broke first. It was Jing. Mei watched as Jing quietly tapped Azures hand, and when azure looked at him with a brow raised, he said something quietly. Mei couldn’t hear, but whatever it was made Azure soften, and he nodded. Azure then whispered something to mk, and he nodded as well. The two of them, Suprisingly, made their way into the kitchen as well.

Everyone else had migrated there after a while, so they were the last two in there. Everyone just looked at Mk and Azure in confusion, Mei included, but they just shook their heads.

Mei peaked back out, and saw Jing sitting across from Nezha. Both looked ashamed, and they were speaking quietly enough that Mei couldn’t hear. But she could tell it was definitely personal. The last thing she saw was the two of them getting up to hug before she quickly pulled her head back.

“So. You two worked things out?” Macaque asked the next day, looking curiously at Jing and Nezha as the shop bustled with people. The two nodded, both looking embarrassed.

“Yes. We have.” Jing confirmed, awkwardly rubbing his neck.

“We’re sorry we made you guys have to step in. We got so caught up in it, we forgot it was supposed to be a fun debate. Not a war.” Nezha rubbed his arm, smiling apologetically.

“It’s fine.” Reassured Mei, the others making noises of agreement. “Just, next time? Maybe don’t get so competitive.”

“We can try,” said Jing, and a slightly mischievous smile came across his and Nezha’s faces. “But it’s in our nature.”

Nezha nodded, his own smile growing. “Who do you think I get it from?”

“Behave.” Mk and Azure chorused together, their tones a deadpan as they whacked their respective partners shoulders. Mei didn’t hold back her laughter this time as father and son pouted.

___________________________________________

And so ends the great berry war!

I hope you all enjoyed this little arch ;)

[xielian-gets-his-own-blog-now]

Xie Lian and Quentin, my shark!!!!!