#ask the adhd goblin

[theadhdgoblin]

What's your favorite edible mushroom? What's your favorite distinctly INedible mushroom?

Ok this was definitely adhd bait and I don’t know if you did this on purpose but if you did IT WORKED 😂 bc I just got stuck looking up mushrooms for quite a while even tho I was already hungry and knew I needed to eat.

And btw I’m writing this now and still not making food I HOPE YOURE HAPPY 😂😂😂😁

My favourite mushroom is the fairy ring mushroom bc they’re super tasty and I like the way they grow.

I’ve been mushroom foraging a few times now, but I haven’t considered my favourite inedible mushroom.

That’s how I got stuck on Google reminding myself. Turns out you can eat some puffballs and even the ink cap which is a super cool mushroom (but not with alcohol).

Basically, a lot of my other favourite mushrooms aren’t that toxic it turns out. So I don’t have an answer and I may starve before I do!

22.41 is a reasonable time for dinner rite? 😂

[eow-askblog]

Happy Halloween everyone! Have a BOOp-tiful day!

[ryan-is-a-god]

imagine having enough focus to successively learn the skills for your hobby.

And then imagine having enough focus to do that same thing but with your actual fucking career and homework...

[masked-artist-xp]

What are all the stims I've given you? (Including vocal ones)

All of em?...

Ah shit...this finna be long-...

Well, the "yippee!" Vocal stim, thigh hitting, foot stomping, head shaking, snapping, hitting things...and uh...that's all I can name...if there is others, I haven't noticed...

[ravensmadreads]

Unhinged totally unasked for thots about Riding Pedro Boys

Authors Note: So this came from me chugging entirely too many energy drinks and then projectile vomiting in Taylors inbox. I'd like to warn you that: English isn't my first language, I have never written smut before, I'm not a real writer, and also I'm trash goblin levels of unhinged about this. That being said; Enjoy and uhh. Forgive me Fandom

JAVIER PEÑA

Javier Pena doesn't let you do it.

Don't @ me LISTEN! (YES I STARTED OFF WITH A CONTROVERSIAL THOT FUCKING BITE ME.)

That man does not have the time, or the patience, or the good sense (the sense is at the other end) to let you ride. He needs the control okay? And sometimes it's not even about the control ! It's the frustration. It piles and piles and piles until he snaps. He needs to do. He will bend you over and work his frustration away until he has had enough and you let him because he needs it. (And lets be real he makes it worth your while every single time)

BUT. When he finally fucking retires, and gets a ranch, and breaths air not tinged with the smells of death, cigarettes and guns for the first time in however many years, and maybe drinks some fucking water, he takes you out on a date. He fumbles through the entire thing, panics because he thinks he blew it, still manages to get you home, gets ridden for the first time in like 6 years, and can't walk straight for an entire day and stammers every time someone asks him why.

JAVIER GUTIERREZ

Javi G loves it. He loves watching you. Gets all puppy dog wide eyed (remember the pool scene face??? Thats it.) and you have to really focus because his look of straight up wonder and awe and bright eyed eagerness makes you want to cry. He's panting like he's running a marathon, running his big hands EVERYWHERE he can reach. He makes you feel worshipped and adored and so very very loved. Thanks you after. For being so amazing, and so wonderful to him, and thanks the universe that he found you. Cause he's sap. You definitely cry after.

JOEL MILLER

(Watch me be controversial again) Joel is fucking tired okay? He has old man bones and creaky joints and his back is achy. Patrol was agony, Jesse wouldn't shut up the entire time, and Tommy was giving him shit, and he has no energy to drill anyone into the mattress (as much as we all want him to). He's just plain tired. He likes you on top. Likes it slow (like a roast chicken on a sunday slow). Enjoys the gradual build up, likes to lean back, watch with half open eyes as you take your time. Wants to indulge in something beautiful at the end of the world, and that something is you. He makes sexy grunting noises, mutters a whole lot of praise ~and filth~ and just y'know. Savours it. 🫠🫠🫠 savours you. 🫠

DIETER BRAVO

Dieter is a maniac. (Leave him alone he has adhd!!) He can't still still for the life of him so you best believe he changes positions 6 times and the only way you're getting to ride is if you're also putting some weight elsewhere. To hold him down! You squeeze his neck once and he MELTS. INSTANTLY. Loses all sense. Starts babbling and whimpering and making extremely pathetic noises. Will definitely buck up and whine. PRAISES YOU. BEGGING. LOUD NOISES.

MAX PHILLIPS

Max is a heathen. He just likes watching you bounce. That's it. That's the post :p

MARCUS PIKE

Marcus P is a romantic. He will be doing the whole "lean forward and try to get kisses in between" while also "moaning and maintaining eye contact" and he's holding you so tight , squeezing your sides and also muttering declarations of love. About how he wants a life with you, and a family, and a home, and a future. How he's going to "make you so happy baby, I promise I will, I swear to you". Doesn't let you off for from on top of him for atleast a half hour after; kissing all over your face and rubbing your back and petting your hair "I meant all of it sweetheart. I want all of you." shsbzgwgsvsg ilovehimsomuch and I've only ever seen gifsets of this man what is wrong with me

MARCUS MORENO

Marcus M is A MENACE. He wears his stupid glasses, and has his stupid shirt off, while he does stupid taxes/meeting plans in bed. You keep throwing side glances and getting increasingly wound up and he just has this gentle smirk but he's mostly ignoring you. You sidle up to him and maybe start kissing his jaw, laying gentle pecks down his neck, and he's still fukcungh working "Baby. I need to finish this. I'm sorry, you need to wait." But that smirk is still there and it's driving you crazy and maybe you keep kissing until you reach his *coughs* and then you're working on getting him interested. You can still hear the fucking pen scratching though and so you go deeper, and he raises an eyebrow. "be good now honey" You're settling in his lap and he has you sitting there until he has finished his paperwork with you whimpering and trying not to squirm because you want to be good you really do and you know he'll make it so much better but he feels so good and when he's finally finally done you get to move but you're so wound up you can't pull yourself together enough to find a rhythm and you're nearly in tears and he has to grip your sides and murmur instructions in your ear and help you until you're satisfied and just when you think he's done, and about to flip you over, he adjusts his grip and starts moving from underneath you until you're crying and he's finished ~which doesnt happen until you've come 2 more times~

DAVE YORK

Dave. Oh my gosh Dave. Dave is a strict dom if ever there was one. With him it's a punishment. He'll tell you to hold off until he's done which is freaking impossible with how deep he gets, and how he likes to warm up his hands on your butt while you're trying desperately to hold onto that last thread of control. He is muttering absolute filth, holding your arms behind your back with one hand while the other is either laying smack after smack or rubbing you furiously all the while he's got the smuggest look. "Don't you dare baby. Be a good girl now. Listen and obey for once". But you can't because he's not fair and he knows it. And when you do finally fall apart he's clenching his teeth trying to hold back himself and his hands are holding you up as you gasp his name like it's the only word you know. He's running his hands down your back and kissing you softly and helping you catch your breath and when you finally get your heart to stop pounding and look up at him, he's watching you with this dangerously soft smile and he goes "oh you're in for it now aren't you honey?" and kisses your forehead while you try not to whimper.

FRANKIE MORALES

Frankie is a soft boy. He loves it. Craves it. He loves giving up control. Wants you to tie him up and have your way until he has no thoughts left in that pretty little head. He is swearing like an absolute sailor the entire time, calling you ma'am, begging to be released so he can kiss you and touch you, absolutely nearly breaks the head board once he was so desperate. Wants to be edged but also is the biggest WIMP about it. Will pout and swear and beg and plead but then want you to deny him again. Will definitely be mumbling absolute nonsense once you're done. Needs all the aftercare. Blushes pink when he gets it. Wraps himself around you like a HUGE koala bear after. ~and returns the edging favour 3 times over when he gets in his Captain Francisco Morales Mood~

JACK DANIELS

BONUS TWO I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT and tumblr won't let me put gifs for:

Jack makes every single cowboy joke known to man. You have to put your hand on his mouth to get him to shut the hell up. His eyes get all glassy when you do. He puts his hat on top of your head and busies himself in your neck (dual benefits: A. He shuts up and B. HICKIES) will definitely drag you on top of him in his Bronco (he likes to show off) will pull up on the side of the road almost 70% of the times you drive together. Bites you over your clothes. Loves the way you grab desperately at this leather jacket. Definitely makes you bend over and 'clean up the mess sugar' before driving like the hounds of hell are after him all the way back home and doing it all over again because "we gotta make you a mama now love"

PERO TOVAR

Pero got married after he came back and retired as a sell sword. His wife is a soft but sassy thing who's a little (read: not at all, she returns his snark twice over) intimidated by him but also thinks he's a good man because he saved her village from raiders. She has seen him grumble and snark at but then also share his food with the orphans who works at the village inn. She's inexperienced (let me live my victorian life) and he doesn't really think he deserves her but also he's not so much an idiot to say no to someone like her. She's the village "healer" and he met her when he got stabbed by one of the raiders (arm wound: not serious.) He has to teach her. She gets shy and flustered, which is a total 180 from her sassy self, and Pero loves it. She makes the most amazing sounds that have him thinking that maybe he did something right in his life to end up in her arms. She wants to please her new husband and asks her married friends for advice and they tell her about this new position. So she asks him, stuttering and tripping over words, if she could try something she heard about? From a friend? She straddles him and Pero loses his mind. He's closing his eyes and clenching his jaw so hard and she's whimpering in the most DELICIOUS way and he's trying so hard to hold back and let her take her pace and she's so worried "am I not doing it right?" Pero has to take 3 deep breaths before he's centred enough to answer and then he helps her. Puts his hands on her hips to guide her. Puts one of her hands on his shoulder "steady now pequenita" and puts the other low on her belly and presses in so she can feel him. Loves the way she cries out. Bends forward to leave little marks everywhere he can reach. She's scrambling at his chest, leaving nail marks he loves, and finally grabbing his hair and pulling until he groans. And when they're both done and sated and sweaty he kisses her, looks her in the eye and winks. "I'm going to have to go thank your friend now, mi esposa."

DIN DJARIN

Din and you dont have time. The razor crest is finally in hyperspace, you got shot at for the 50th time in 2 weeks, (because Murphys Law seems to be the only law Mando never breaks), you're exhausted, sweaty, and the giggly green monster of chaos only made you chase him down from the top of a weapons cabinet twice before he finally decided to take a nap. You're frustrated, and in desperate need of a shower, and a nap, but also you can't get the image of Mando fighting out of your head. Before you know it, the hormones have taken over and you're attacking him in the pilot seat. The bucket is off (I refuse to look at my own reflection in the tin cans helmet while we do the do), he's got you arching into him, your shirt is half torn from the top because Din refuses to wait for "so many fucking buttons Meshla" the gloved hand is squeezing the back of your neck, his mouth is on your chest, his other hand (you only managed to get one glove off) is splayed out on your back. You're riding him like you're trying to break him and his thigh holster? thing (do i look like i can figure out what they're called?) is digging marks into your skin but you're too turned on to care. It's frantic, it's messy, you're PRAYING the tiny green menace stays asleep as you do your best to muffle your sounds. The refresher isn't big enough for a round two, (you still do your best), and your legs feel like jelly, when you finally pass out; curled up on top of the human space heater while he hums Mando'a in your ear.

*****

TAGGING: @chronically-ghosted (you are a menace but ily)

@fuckyeahdindjarin (here I go trying that writing thing again, stop me pls)

[lovely-rants-alot]

WHO HAS A LOT OF OPINIONS? ME! I DO! LISTEN TO THEM RN OR I SWEAR-

entering my chaos goblin era ✨✨

THE BASICS OF THE DARKNESS GREMLIN:

My Name is Lovely and I use lovely as an adjective wayyyyyyyy to often

I is a minor. Kept your horniest to yourself thank yew

I am a lesbian. A girl kisser. A women lover if you will

my gender is unknown. Use she/them and I don't care about gendered terms. Call me dude, call me girlie, I don't give a shit

the tism is strong with this one so I will be asking for clarification often. I'm not trying to be rude, I simply don't understand

WHAT ARE THE MAYHEM PIXIE'S HOBBIES:

I have an veryyyyyyyy active pjo rp. They are my children and I'm surprised everyday by how much people care about me and my silly characters

I am obviously into Percy Jackson. Althought my ADHD makes it very hard for me to read the books, but I've had most of it spoiled so no need to explain

I play video games often. Currently on my minecraft grind.

Here have some photos of my world:

the barn is kinda ugly but it's not done so-

also this is a modded world.

I like making edits but I do them on my phone and now my phone's having a hissy fit over storage so I've kinda stopped

I've written fanfics but none of them got finished and I don't have the motivation to finish them

Not exactly a hobby but I wanna become a costume designer so that's cool

WHO ARE THE HAVOC LEPRECHAUN'S POOKIES:

@wishing-on-a-snowflake my fav hobgoblin (respectfully)

@startswithahell my knight in pretty pink armour

INTERACT TO BECOME POOKIE. I WANT MORE POOKIES

Main is @this-lovely-universe

[chaoticbardlady99]

Yesterday I Felt like Dancing (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Synopsis: You have burnt both ends of the candle and haven’t been taking care of your mental health. Unable to get yourself out of bed, Astarion begins to worry about you…

Author note- I have been hardcore struggling with my mental health lately and writing my silly little fics has been the only thing pulling me along. I thought it might be therapeutic to write about my current feelings (I have ADHD, MDD, and GAD so it’s a party up in here). I hope you enjoy!

CW- Suicidal Ideation, symptoms of depression, brief outburst, mentions of mental health diagnosis and poor medical advice.

Title inspired by song “Into the Walls” by Griff.

*not my pic, could not tell you where I found it so I apologize in advance. If you think it might be your picture, please message me so I can give proper credit.

Your last day before backtracking from the Mountain Pass to the Goblin camp is a difficult one.

Not for the group as a whole- just you specifically.

Days before a Mindflayer kidnapped you, a healer back home had told you your brain was sick. You had been devastated- resigned to your miserable fate.

You had been struggling for years at that point with inconsistent motivation, exhaustion, nightmares, and irrational thoughts for months. You have been functional for the most part, but then an overpowering wave will hit you like Warhammer in the ribs and you are rendered useless until it passes.

The healer suggested sunlight, exercise, eating healthy, and spending time with friends to help your affliction when you hit rock bottom. You were wildly unimpressed with her. At the time, you preferred to self isolate so you stayed by yourself in the woods trying to find peace there. You would have to let her know that her “going out and enjoying the sun” message is not always wise- you may get a tadpole shoved in your head. You can’t be that mad though- the tadpole helped bring your pep back.

Anyway, you have been doing all of that for weeks now, you even felt great, but today? You could not have hit rock bottom harder even if you tried.

You woke up that morning unable to get yourself out of bed. It was a rest day so it wasn’t a big deal, but you also know that your companions are going to have things they need to talk to you about and favors they need you to take care of.

Gods you had tried to get up. You are grateful that your past self had the gumption to wash off and change into clean clothes last night, but your armor is still disgustingly sitting outside your tent and your hair is long and wild. You had wanted to braid it, but it all felt like too much work.

Everything feels like too much work right now- even staying awake- so you drift in and out of uncomfortable naps throughout the morning. No matter how many times you fall asleep, begging for relief from the painful brick wall sitting on your brain, it never leaves.

You can feel the midday breeze rustle your tent. You’ve been laying here for hours now. You are crying and you honestly aren’t sure why. You feel completely paralyzed by all the things you need to do to be ready for the Underdark.

You need to clean your armor, go over the Goblin Camp’s map with Wyll, find Gale a magical artifact, and probably comfort Lae’zel since she’s been branded a heretic- but you won’t. The shame and self loathing continues. You are a silly, worthless little human being.

Every person who knocks on your tent gets a simple, “I’m just not feeling well,” and then they walk away. You don’t know why it makes you more sad than appreciative. If you were in their shoes- you would be bending over backwards to make sure they had everything they needed and you wouldn’t let them feel alone. Then you resent yourself for feeling that way towards your companions- they don’t owe you anything and you were the one who chose to help them- you didn’t ask for anything in return. This is all your fault.

The only person who hadn’t come to visit you was Astarion- which hurt your heart just a little, enough that the numbness coursing thickly through your body wavered for a moment. You are quite smitten and he is obviously not. Another mistake to add to the swirling black hole your mind has fallen into.

You knew it was stupid to want his comfort and affections- you had merely slept together a little less than a week ago. Astarion has been quasi avoiding you ever since and when he does talk to you- he’s awkward. You constantly look for flying pigs- Astarion feeling awkward or being awkward is unheard of.

You have come to accept that you were just some tryst and obviously he hadn’t enjoyed it as much as he said he did.

Astarion isn’t to blame and the situation itself certainly didn’t contribute to the sudden lack of emotions. You knew that you were on the verge of a mental collapse sooner rather than later, but you had foolishly hoped you wouldn’t be alone through it. It feels less all consuming when you try to find a reason. It’s more comfortable to know than it is to give up and say, “my brain is fucked and there isn’t a damn thing I can do so I guess I’m stuck here.”

You are jolted out of your thoughts by another knock on your tent.

“I’m sick,” you say flatly.

“Ha- you act like that will deter me. I can’t even get sick, Darling.”

Before you even have time to register that Astarion is on the other side of your tent- he pushes his way through the flaps and stares down at you in confusion. And… concern?

Astarion steps inside and kneels down next to you- scanning you for evidence of illness or injury.

“I suppose I had been worried for nothing,” he smiles sweetly at you, “you are totally fine. Come on Darling, you have to get up and eat. Wyll is fumbling with that map.”

You look at him and begin to cry. Astarion’s face lights up with alarm.

“What- what did I do!?”

“Please don’t make me,” you sob, “I just want a break. I’m so tired. I want to lay in this bed forever and never leave, but there is so much to do and it’s paralyzing.”

You continue to cry and you cover yourself with the extra blanket- successfully hiding your face.

“Go away,” you whisper, “I need to be left alone.”

You say it, but you are far from meaning it. You want him to stay- to hold you- but he doesn’t want you so it will only make everything hurt worse once the numbness fades away.

You wait for several moments and then you hear him leave. Your silent cry turns into choked sobs and your body is shaking from the pain you are in. The numbness hurts. The numbness tells you that you shouldn’t be alive.

Maybe you shouldn’t be.

Everyone here would be able to figure it out on their own (eventually) and you would finally be free. Free of your uncomfortable brain, free of your ugly body- free of the expectations of others. You would no longer be holding them back like you are today- like you will again in the future.

You are sure they would temporarily grieve you, but that was the deal with this whole journey. You had all accepted that one of you or all of you could die at any moment. You will just put them in more danger by being here…

You shake the thought from your head, violently- your head is pounding from the growing tension headache and dehydration. The tears eventually stop and you just… well, lay in bed again. You stare blankly at a book over in the corner. You keep trying to convince yourself to get up and read the damn thing- do literally ANYTHING else than just stay here in your bedroll.

Instead, you fall asleep.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You wake up to someone knocking on your tent post. You grumble incoherently, covering your head and you hear your unexpected guest sit down next to you. The smell of food fills the tent and your stomach grumbles.

“You need to eat, my Dear,” Astarion says softly.

You are stunned to hear his voice grace your ears. You slowly pull the blanket down to just below your eyes and look at him. Astarion looks distressed, like he doesn’t want to be here. Why would he? You’re a nuisance.

You sit up gingerly and grab the bowl from him. You manage to give him a lopsided smile.

“Thanks. You don’t need to stay, I will be fine on my own,” you say apathetically, staring into the broth.

“I want to stay,” he says, “if you’ll have me.”

The expression on his face is unreadable, but he seems genuine. You nod, your lips pressed together tightly. You eat as much as you feel like while Astarion studies you.

Usually your anxiety is at an all time high (in maybe one of the better ways) when you are around Astarion- he gives you butterflies, butterflies, and even more butterflies. Usually your heart is racing in his presence, but right now you just feel empty.

“Where is your hairbrush?” Astarion asks.

You frown with confusion, “it’s in my bag, why?”

Astarion gets up and goes over to the bag- digging out a few items. He pulls out a lantern, your hairbrush, and a hair tie. Astarion comes over to you and sits down behind you. You feel him gather up the stray pieces of your hair and get to work.

Astarion runs his fingers through your scalp and your tangled hair- the feeling is soothing and it opens something inside of you. Your body shakes silently with sobs and you feel the worm behind your eyes wiggle as Astarion asks for access. You aren’t sure.

“I want to understand,” Astarion says, “please.”

His voice is so raw and desperate- you swallow thickly before allowing him to explore your current emotional state. The silence in the tent is palpable and you feel tense, uncomfortable even. No one has ever cared for you while you are in this state before.

You feel him continue his hairbrushing after he exits your mind. Astarion leaves soft kisses on your shoulder as he gently pulls apart every knot. It helps- you realize- to feel cared for. The numbness still hurts, you still hurt, but it’s nice to not feel so alone.

After Astarion is done brushing your hair, you feel his delicate fingers begin to intricately braid your hair. You wonder when he learned how to do hair.

“Leon’s daughter, Victoria, used to ask me to braid her hair all the time,” Astarion says in a bittersweet voice as if reading your mind, “I picked it up so that she would stop bugging me about it. She said and I quote, ‘you have the perfect braiding hands!’”

You smile to yourself tenderly, “That’s very kind of you, Star. I am sure she appreciated it as much as I appreciate it now.”

You feel Astarion’s hands falter at your words and you are unsure if you have upset him or not. A pregnant pause occurs before Astarion finally clears his throat and goes back to braiding your hair.

“I’m glad that I can help,” Astarion’s delicate, vulnerable words hang in the air, “I’ve… been worried about you today.”

You feel positively flustered and bad for making him feel that way.

“Oh you don’t need to worry about silly ole me! This happens sometimes” you make your voice chirpier than it needs to be, “This is actually the longest I’ve gone for a long time without this happening. I have theorized that the tadpole might help which is kinda cool- I think?”

You laugh awkwardly- desperate to ease his worry.

“How often does this happen?”

Shit. That was the winning question wasn’t it? Astarion will surely never see you as anything less than broken now.

“I’m not really sure,” your voice comes out in a whisper, “I usually always feel a bit of it all the time, but it’s manageable. I function very well regardless.”

“But this one isn’t manageable and evidently you aren’t functional right now.”

You sigh, “No, it isn’t and no, I’m not.”

“What changed?”

“Nothing,” you say, maybe too harshly, “that’s the part that drives me crazy. Yesterday was incredible- I was on top of the whole world, felt like dancing and screaming from the rooftops, but today!?”

You inhale and hold back the muted scream that wants to fill the air.

“Today,” you hiss, “I don’t even want to deal with any of this shit anymore. I’m so fucking tired. There is too much to fucking do and too many people depending on me. Then everyone gets irritated with me if I ask to push off their problems so I persevere through it despite knowing I’m getting bad again. I’m a giant stinking trash heap that everyone keeps adding more to.”

Astarion finishes braiding your hair and presses your back to his chest, pulling you into him. He puts his arms around your waist and settles his chin and face in between the crook of your neck.

“I just feel like such a nuisance all the time- no matter how hard I push myself to prove I’m not. Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I just… went away.”

You both sit there quietly. At some point he had taken one of your hands in his and he was tracing shapes into the back of it with his thumb. Your omission still hangs heavily in the air.

“I wouldn’t be better off,” Astarion says hotly, “I’d be stuck with all these weirdos by myself. That would be truly miserable, Darling.”

You shake your head, a half smile on your face.

“And besides- you are not even close to a nuisance,” Astarion states, leaving a kiss on your cheek, “at least you aren’t in constant need of magical objects to eat or blood to drink. Oh and you don’t require a painstaking amount of searching to prevent you from literally burning everyone alive.

“Oh and did I forget to mention, we have not one, but two women who despise each other and follow hateful Goddesses which was a fun choice for whatever sick bastard twisted our fates this way.”

You laugh breathily, closing your eyes and letting the sound defrost some of your insides.

“What I’m saying is- I think you are the least of everyone’s ‘nuisances’, my Darling,” he says, squeezing you tighter to his chest, “despite how little you think of yourself. We ne- no, I want you to stay. I know everyone else would say the same, but I must emphasize that I would be horribly distraught if you disappeared. Hells I’d even pay to have you resurrected.”

You gasp playfully, your voice falling slightly flat, “You? The most frugal man I have ever met would pay 200 gold coins to ‘Strike thy name from the record’?”

Your impression of Withers gets Astarion to genuinely laugh- the sound vibrating in your chest. You lean into him and he guides you back to laying down. Astarion entangles his legs with yours as he holds you tightly- your faces are mere centimeters apart. You love the way Astarion smells- rosemary, bergamot, and brandy. You wish you could be wrapped up in him forever. You are still in pain- everything still hurts and feels too difficult, but right now it feels a little less heavy.

“I would throw bags of Gold Coins at that corpse out of revenge, my Dear,” he teases, “you couldn’t possibly think I would ever let you rest peacefully in your grave- I would be far too angry with you and unhappy without you to let that happen.”

You lay there and despite yourself, you lean forward and leave butterfly kisses along his cheeks with your lashes. Astarion scrunches up his nose reflexively and smiles at you. You plant a sweet, short kiss on his lips.

“Thank you Astarion- for everything.”

You close your eyes as he traces circles along your lower back. Your eyes begin to droop, and you fall asleep.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When you wake up the next morning- you are disappointed to find that you are all alone in your tent. The heavy numbness is still there and you sigh. At least last night made it more bearable.

You look on the side where Astarion had been sleeping and find a note with a bottle attached to it. You pick it up and begin to read.

Tav,

Astarion had asked me about herbs for some relief regarding mental discomforts. I unfortunately don’t know many, but this is a mixture of St. John’s Wort, Valerian Root, and Ashwagandha. Historically, I know these have been used to alleviate emotional and mental pain.

Astarion didn’t tell me why he was asking, but I deduced it was you pretty quickly when he began shooing everyone away from your tent this morning.

I hope this helps- we are all here if you need us. May Silvanus light your path as you navigate this difficult time.

-Halsin

You sit in your own stunned silence for what feels like hours. Halsin knows and he wants to help? Halsin doesn’t think you are screwed or a nuisance? The man barely even knows you!

You are a bit embarrassed, but you can’t help but laugh at the image of Astarion telling everyone to leave you alone.

You open the bottle and a pleasant, earthy smell fills the tent. You drink the mixture (that definitely does not taste anywhere near as pleasant as it smells) and you do feel a slight bit better. Your apathy feels even more tolerable now. You will have to thank Halsin.

You slowly rise from your tent and look around. Everything is packed up neatly in the corner- your clothes from the previous day are folded nicely and you notice all the holes are sewn up.

You jump when someone enters your tent abruptly- the midday sun warming your skin. You turn around and Astarion is smiling at you, but looks nervous.

“I cleaned off your armor and your weapons,” he says awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, “I also packed up your stuff- as you can see. We have to start leaving unfortunately, but I’ll help you get on your armor like I usually do- I might still need help with mine though, but I can ask someone else if it’s too much for you right now. Lae’zel and Karlach offered to pack up your tent. Wyll and Shadowheart figured out the map- Wyll is going to be our ‘fearless’ leader for the day. Gale has some food for you to snack on while we travel- which you will be eating, by the way.”

Astarion is looking at you with a vulnerable expression on his face. He plays nervously with the gold coin in his hands.

You can hardly believe what you are hearing.

“Did- did you do all this for me?” You say with disbelief.

You never thought Astarion was capable of smiling shyly until he had admitted to you that you had been his first thinking creature- you certainly never thought you’d see him become shy twice in your presence.

“I did and it wasn’t a nuisance so don’t even begin to worry about that,” He walks over to you, gently cradling your face in his hands, “I hope this is all okay.”

You smile- the first genuine feeling of happiness you’ve felt in the last 24 hours gently sparks in your chest as you stare up at him. You get up on your tiptoes and bridge the gap between your lips.

“Thank you Astarion, this is perfect- you are perfect,” you are crying tears of joy, “this is the kindest gesture anyone has ever made for me. So just, thank you.”

“Of course, Darling,” he says smiling in between kisses, “I won’t let you lose to yourself. We’ll get through this together from now on- no more hiding.”

And for once? You actually believe someone.

-if you guys like this, please let me know if you would want a part two written from Astarion’s perspective.

Update- I did the thing you silly geese

https://www.tumblr.com/chaoticbardlady99/735969926279528448/i-took-all-this-love-i-found-and-i-hope-that-its

Tag-list: @spacebarbarianweird @domainoflostsouls

[flannelepicurean]

Alternately:

Adopt a tone that's somewhere between Bruce Campbell playing a lounge singer, and Mitch Hedberg just...doing. Tell them, "That depends on what you mean by 'busy'...and 'Friday,'" with a chummy, roguish grin.

When they inevitably get sidetracked with going, "...wut? Wha...I mean Friday. Like...Friday-Friday. The day. Of the week..." just keep nodding in a vague but groovy way, like there's a good and mellow upright bass goin' for a walk in the background. And get back to 'em with, "Okay, that's wild, I love it. Friday. Big fan. Now, 'busy.' Let's break that down, keep blowin' my mind, friendo, hit it."

If they haven't backed away slowly and retracted their "request" at this point, you can do some shoulder-shimmy action while they outline the parameters of what they consider "busy" enough to override whatever they would like you to do. At this point, you can throw in a couple finger snaps and be like, "You're a freaky fountain of fact-ations, [name]-io, what are YOU doing on Friday? Enlighten." and pull out your bongos. Jam along with them as they describe the task they actually want help with.

Wrap up with whatever kind of bongo flourish you choose, and either a, "That sounds doable, slide me the deets on time and place [and any other critical information needed]." Or, "Fantastic endeavor, cool cat. Unfortunately, I am indeed 'busy,' but let's jam again another time." Either way, close the loop with, "Good sesh. Stay fresh."

Has the potential to convince them that you are "the weirdo with the bongos," and will therefore make them less likely to ask you for stuff, but extremely not offended when you say no. Because it's more work to have a weird conversation with you about you doing stuff, and it's very much their idea, and their preference, to exit the encounter gracefully and quickly.

[hotluncheddie]

How do you feel about chubby female Steve (steddie)? I love a good female Steve/Eddie fic 🥰

see, well, i do also love - simply bc i love people having fun. but i haven't really read much female steddie tbh tbh

i do, however, have a lifelong dream of calling a beautiful butch woman daddy

so i will be imparting this dream onto Eddie, and making it come true, as a treat.

so please imagine a lovely, fat, strong, beautiful, butch Stevie Harrington (with pretty long hair and an undercut) and manic pixie goblin girl Eddie Munson (covered in tattoos with a silly little curly mullet) <3

I also saw a very cute video on Instagram of a lesbian couple and one was not feeling good about how her stomach looked asking ‘why does it do that’ and her gf just said bc you’re hot, and you’re healing. And I think that that’s very steddie tbh tbh

-

Stevie and Eddie are coming back from the lake, sun kisses and sleepy from their day. Stevie in a blue bikini with one of her muscle shirts over the top, sunglasses on and hair whipping in the wind, thick thighs spread across the drivers seat. Eddie pulled on a pair of shorts over her skinny legs, but her belly has gotta a little chubbier lately, causing a roll to sit just above where the waistband sits at her belly button. She squishes it, grumbling and huffing, ‘why does it do that? It’s. Is it supposed to do that?’

Stevie looks over, confused, but her face softens as she looks back at the road. ‘It looks like that because you’re a hot girl.’ She says, smiling. Then reaches over and strokes the skin softly with her hand, head swivelling to glance between Eddie and the road. ‘And healing girls have it.’ She says softly, tenderly, pressing her fingers in and pinching just to make Eddie gasp.

They’ve been trying to work with her recently accepted ADHD, which means building some better techniques to make sure Eddie remembers to eat throughout the day. She had to stop tattooing a client because she got dizzy from only drinking ice coffee and not eating for like 14 hours. Her and Stevie is had a conversation about it, Eddie embarrassed and frustrated, Stevie understanding and pragmatic. She eats much more regularly now, thanks to the reminders and meal prepping, which obviously means she’s gained a little weight. but also means she has more energy and it’s improved her work and ability to interact with the clients.

Doesn’t mean Eddie’s used to it yet though.

Eddie bites her lip, pulling Stevie’s hand between her own and kissing across her knuckles, kissing the rings Eddie found for her at flea markets and sucking her thumb into her mouth just because she can. And because it makes Stevie’s eyes go dark.

Eddie pulls the digit out with a soft pop, sighing ‘I guess.’ to end the conversation - her heart much too full to handle. She grabs the tape box from the back and shoves Dio in and turning it up, head banging until she’s breathless. Stevie glancing over as much as she can, smiling again.

They stop at a drive through on the way back, Eddie squirming and breathing heavy as she feeds Stevie fries and passes her nuggets dipped in sauce so she can keep driving them home. Stevie ignoring her, licking both their fingers clean and driving one handed to suck on her soda straw, belly getting visibly bloated, making Eddie’s mouth fill with spit. She’s so capable and amazing and eddie has to hold back a whimper when Stevie grips her thigh, leaning over slightly to bite at the fries before any ketchup falls. Her soft belly lapping against the seatbelt and silver chain glinting in the setting sun.

‘Let’s get you out of your head, yeah?’ Steve says sweetly once they’re home and unpacked, the day weighing heavy on their bones but not enough for sleep to take them yet, no, there’s fun to be had first, Eddie can see it in the glint of Stevie’s brown eyes.

Eddie pulls greedily at the ties on her bikini, letting it fall away revealing the soft round swells of Stevie’s boobs, sitting low and big across her chest. Eddie groans, cupping them in her hands and squeezing, skin spilling between her fingers.

Eddie lays back on the pillows of their old second hand couch, Stevie towering over her, thighs either side of Eddie’s head. She can’t see Stevie’s face unless she bends forward but the sight of soft underbelly and under boob has Eddie groaning, wetness spreading between her legs. She leans up and kisses over Stevie’s bush, turning her head to nuzzle and bite and the soft inner skin of her thigh, moaning and Stevie shifts and Eddie feels the muscle move under her mouth. Tanned and beautiful, with moles scattered like constellations and a sensitive sort of power to everything she does. Eddie fucking loves her.

Stevie grips her curls, pulling her face back down and leaning at arm on the couch armrest. ‘Be good for me sweet thing. Can you do that?’ She asks, voice calm and low and Eddie feels that deep black water spill into her brain. Sinking hot and wet and wanting.

‘Yeah.’ She says, breathy and high and Stevie smirks as she lets her hips drop. Eddie’s face buried deep in her warm folds. She groans, leaping and sucking and Stevie is everywhere, covering her mouth and nose and Eddie relishes in the white noise static of the thighs squeezed against her ears.

Loosing breath but not wanting to stop Eddie whines when Stevie lifts, looking down at her with sweet condescension, ‘breath for me baby.’ She purrs so Eddie does, gulping greedily. Stevie sits back down and Eddie resumes working over the clit, sucking and flicking with her tongue, lifting one hand to squeeze at her ass while the other searches to bury fingers in her hole.

Stevie rises again, panting with pleasure. Eddie stops to breathe but doesn’t stop pumping her fingers, watching Stevie’s eyes roll. ‘So good for me baby.’ She moans and Eddie preens, desperate to get her there, to taste her again. ‘Daddy.’ She whines, floating and greedy and Stevie moans again, head thrown back and hand reaching to grip Eddie’s curls as she sinks back down, belly folding and thighs clenching and Eddie throbs.

And then when Stevie is flush and beautiful post orgasm, sitting on the sofa to recover, and Eddie is basking in the wetness on her face, and the hand stroking slowly up her leg, she’s sigh out another soft little ‘Daddy’ in contentment, shoving her cold toes under the bit of warm belly that rests on Stevie’s thighs.

And then Stevie will scoop her up, leading them to the bathroom with fresh towels and Eddie’s favourite dildo. With plans to fill her and clean her and leave bruising marks all over her girlfriend’s pretty new belly. A perfect end to a perfect day.

-

<|:3c

Gonna tag: @scoops-aboy86 @cheesedoctor @chickensinrainboots @whimsicalwadewinstonwilson but I know this isn’t usual steddie so idk sorry if this isn’t ur thing

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hello! I have ADHD and autism and lots of ideas. Once I sit down to write a story, I get overwhelmed by the need to plan and write and edit and write and edit and write and... You get the idea. Is there any suggestion you could think of to make the process easier?

Streamlining the Writing Process When You're ND

I think this is something a lot of neurodivergent writers struggle with, and to a degree so do a lot of neurotypical writers, because it can take a long time to work out a writing process that works for you.

Planning - It may be worthwhile to sit down and think about how much planning/what planning tools you feel you need before you sit down and start writing. Like, if you feel you could probably write the story with just a beginning to end summary, make writing that summary your one planning item, and move on to writing. Or, maybe you want to do an outline/summary, character profiles, and a map. Make yourself a list somewhere for each of those things--maybe even breaking it down into the necessary sub steps, and deem yourself done when you've finished them. You may still have an urge to do more, but reassure yourself that you don't need to. And, remind yourself that you can plan as you go to fill in the gaps.

Writing - It might help to think of your first draft as a "zero draft." Or, in other words, a very rough draft that is just really there to help you get ideas down in a semi-cohesive manner. Write it beginning to end, and then check this off your list.

Editing and Revision - This is where you can get caught in a bit of a whirlpool, but this is where it's useful to think of your drafts as revisions. Read through the zero draft and make notes of things that need to be changed, added to, rearranged, or polished. Make it a list, then go through the list and complete the tasks. Once the list is done, that revision is done. Now, do it a second time, but this time only mark down things that are a genuine problem. Try not to listen to your nagging doubts or your brain being wishy-washy--look for things that are actual fixable problems. Make another list and complete the tasks. When that list is done, that revision is done. Then, if you feel it's necessary, you can do another read through specifically looking for typos, spelling errors, etc. Make another list and go through it. When it's done, it's done. And you can check off this story as finished.

You might even streamline my suggestions in a way that works for you. Also, if you haven't seen it yet, there's an app called Goblin Tools which is amaaaaazing for when you get overwhelmed by projects that have a lot of tasks. You basically put in a task like "write novel" and you can set how detailed you want the task list to be, then it generates a list of tasks you can complete to get the project finished. It can be really, really helpful in getting things done. :)

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[theadhdgoblin]

Dropping this into random asks!! I hope you are having a lovely day and that life is treating you well :D

Thank you 🥰

Most days are ok days and that is nice.

(Mostly thanks to being well medicated!)

[nyyx-xoxx]

hi :)

small-giggle > nyyx-xoxx

i change my photo a LOT oops

intro post ig✨

last edit: 28th october 2024 7:08pm

nyx

im a minor (16)

i use she/her pronouns, sometimes they

i am lesbian asexual

single fucking pringle ✨🦐🖤🎶🏳️‍🌈

aest

side blog is @dyke-angel

currently watching BBC ghosts

current hyperfixation is billie eilish

verryyyy chaotic and silly (however when im in a bad mood i will be kinda blunt (sorry in advance))

my favourite cores are liminal and cottagecore

music taste: angus & julia stone, AURORA, beabadoobee, beach bunny, beetlebug, billie eilish, bjork, cavetown, chloe moriondo, conan gray, holly humberstone, june henry, king princess, london grammar, lorde, matt corby, mitski, montaigne, mother mother, rainbow frog biscuits, ratwyfe, reneé rapp, rio romeo, roar, sabrina carpenter, tally hall, tash sultana, the cure, the crane wives, the killers, tv girl, WILLOW

i have depression, anxiety, ocd, adhd, and i have undiagnosed autism

pessimist

i hate myself loll

celeb crushes for shits and giggles: sadie sink, malina weissman, zendaya, sophia lillis, aurora aksnes

📍australia (nsw)

heres my spotify

heres my pinterest

heres my apple music

discord is smallgiggle

need to know:

my askbox is open for anything, from just being goofy to needing to vent to asking me questions (it can be anonymous, i dont mind)

i do participate in tag games and tag asks, but occasionally i might not, depending on the mood i am in (lately ive been doing it less because of personal reasons i still love you all) and if i do its always open tags although i almost always forget to add it

if i dont respond to your ask it means i probably havnt seen it, or i love it too much, or i havnt had time to respond etc

i will tag generally with #/angels asks! (or) #/angel rambles (or) #/yap yap (or) #/angel makes a poll (or) #/silly little vent (or) if its school-related with #/angel schoolposts (or) if posting loz content i will just use #/loz posting (or) sometimes its specifically about horses IN loz so then #/loz horse posting

DNI list

over 25 unless i interact first

nsfw

transfobic, homophobic, anti-gay at all

p3d0

racist, sexist etc

sure im chill, but guess whos super cool?

@urlocalsadkid-l @deetealeaf @astridcookie @treasure-goblin @ali-da-demon

@catinasink @rxsewqter @idonoiyo @amethyst-aster @aspenii

@i-must-confess-i-am-an-idiot @jake-your-gay @neoncopy @island-of-stars @sagaofa-dying-star

@autism-criminal @maximum-tragedy @bleep-bloop-boo @puppy--boy

@hadoom @im-on-crack-send-help @your-everyday-theatre-kid @killerdinosourusrex @neededset

@mybedroomceilingsbored @sagaofadyingstar-thesequel @lady-hibiscus @a-dam-heartstopper-fan

The sky is so tragically beautiful. A graveyard of stars.

userboxes below cut :>

[brainrotbabe24]

ISTG I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I FOUND YOUR BLOG OMGGGG

Its so good omd ily🫶🫶💞💞🩷🩷

Anyway, I wanna request Thorins company with a reader with ADHD and finding out that reader has it

Thank youuu💜🩷💜🩷💜💜🩷🩷

Hi! Thank you for your request! I had so much fun writing this!! I have ADHD, so I had so many ideas from real life to add to this lol!!! Thank you!💖

Side note: I tried a new way to tell the scenario… It’s a mix of story and statement. Enjoy!💖🎉

Balin: 

You and Balin had been walking together for hours, chatting away. In mid-conversation, you suddenly veered off-topic. 

"Omg, it's a bunny!" you squealed.

Someone nearby muttered, "Can you please calm down?" 

You sassed back, "Mind your beeswax...I have ADHD; it's kinda hard to calm down."

Balin chuckled, making you smile. He loves your no-bullshit attitude and boundless energy.

Side notes: I imagine this is what you and Balin would be doing lol

Dwalin:

Dwalin was in a bad mood. So when he saw you bouncing around him and talking nonstop, he was getting frustrated. 

Before he knew it, he blurted out, "You are giving me a headache!!" 

You fell silent, mumbled an apology, then slowed down and walked towards the back of the group. Dwalin let out a sigh of relief, only to feel Balin slap him on the head. 

"You better apologize to Y/N," he said sternly. 

"W-what?" Dwalin stammered.

"Y/N has ADHD. They didn't realize they were talking your ear off, Asshole." 

Realizing his mistake, Dwalin nodded and slowed his pace to walk beside you. 

"Y/N, I'm sorry I freaked out," he said. "And sorry for being an ass." 

You smiled and accepted his apology. 

"Maybe when we get to the campsite, you can tell me more about what you were talking about," he offered. 

"Deal," you said.

Óin: 

Óin noticed right away. To your surprise, he started asking you a bunch of questions. 

"Can you describe what it feels like to zone out? How does ADHD affect your routine? If Kili had ADHD, what advice would you give him?" 

He was fascinated by your perspective and loved hearing it.

He would say, "You bring such a unique perspective. I really admire your energy."

Glóin: 

You and Glóin hadn't talked much during the trip; you were too focused on surviving trolls and goblins. Once you reached Laketown, you were surprised when he approached you. 

"Y/N, are you okay?" he asked, touching your shoulder. 

"Yeah, just a little banged up from those barrels," you replied, smiling. 

"No, I mean... Are you still affected by Mirkwood? I've noticed you staring off into space and getting super... bouncy," he said, looking concerned. 

"Oh, Glóin, I'm fine. I have ADHD. It makes me lose focus or ramble sometimes," you explained. 

He sighed with relief and gave you a big hug. "Oh, thank goodness!"

Bifur: 

After a long day of hiking, the company stopped for the day. Thorin was annoyed, making everyone start their nightly chores early. Bifur took on the task of gathering firewood alongside you. After you got deeper into the forest, Bifur noticed you were distracted. He paid no mind while gathering wood, occasionally looking up to see if you were nearby. He noticed you squatting, staring at something before he called out. You didn't even look up. Confused, he walked over to see what you were doing. He saw you squatting around some mushrooms, watching a green inchworm. Smiling, he sat down and watched the worm with you. There would be plenty of time later to gather firewood, so why not enjoy the moment? 

Bofur: 

You had been daydreaming during the quiet moments of the journey. It was one of those days.

"What are you thinking about, Y/N?" Bofur asked, walking up to you. 

"Huh?" you said, turning to look at him. 

He was all smiles, unlike the somber mood of the group. 

"Caught you daydreaming, didn't I?" he laughed. 

"Was I?" you asked, slightly embarrassed. "My ADHD makes me zone out sometimes."

He smiled. "No need to worry! I daydream, too. Recently, it's been about the treasure in Erebor," he winked. 

Bombur: 

It was dinner time at the campsite, and everyone was settling for the night. Bombur noticed you sitting alone, focusing on your jacket instead of eating. He walked over with a bowl of stew. 

"Hey, Y/N, what are you up to?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I was fixing this hole. It's been bothering me," you said, glancing at him. 

"Don't forget to eat," he said, putting the bowl beside you. "Not sure when we'll have this good of meat again." 

You realized you were so focused on the jacket that you hadn't eaten yet. "Right, right, right," you said, taking the bowl. "I swear this ADHD makes me forget the simplest things something. Thank you." 

He looked surprised but smiled when you added, "Actually, do you want to eat with me? I could use the company." 

You two stuck together for the rest of the trip, ensuring each other ate.

Ori: 

Sitting by the fire, Ori glanced over and saw you reading. 

"Oh, is that the book Bilbo suggested?" he said. 

"Yes, it is! You replied. 

"How is it?" he asked, leaning in. 

"Well, it's been okay so far. I just…ugh. I've been on the same sentence for like the last 10 minutes!"

"Do you need glasses or more light?"

"No, I have ADHD, so sometimes reading can be tough for me...actually, could you read this to me? It would really help," you said, handing him the book. 

"Sure, I would love to! I've wanted to read this book too." 

"Perfect!" you said, snuggling in, ready for the story! 

Dori: 

Dori was lecturing you one evening about how to clean your blades. 

"Y/n, you needed to get all your supplies laid out like this. Now I prefer to arrange them by order…" He droned on and on, and you found it difficult to listen to him. You ended up staring at his beard bead before you heard him say your name. "Y/n, do you even hear me, y/n?! Are you even listening?" You blushed, realizing you'd been caught. 

"Sorry, Dori, kinda zoned out....ADHD, you know," you say, embarrassed.

Dori is a little flustered by your response. He is about to say something when Nori chimes in. 

"Don't worry, we don't listen to him either," Nori laughed. 

"Nori!" Dori yelled, standing up to lecture his brother. Before he walked off, he added, "Thank you for telling me, Y/N. I didn't know."

You smiled, knowing there were no hard feelings.

Nori: 

"Ugh, where is it?" you groaned, looking around your sleeping mat. 

You lost your hairbrush for the billionth time during this adventure. Frustrated, you started to tear apart your bag. 

"Need any help?" you heard someone say. 

Looking up, you saw Nori standing above you. 

"Yes," you grunted out, looking defeated. 

"Well, what are we looking for?" Nori said, squatting down and picking up your bag. 

"I've already looked in there, you said." Grabbing another bag to look through, "... I'm looking for my hairbrush." 

You start to throw shirts and belts out of the bag before you hear an ahem. You look up and see Nori holding your hairbrush. 

"My brush! Where did you find it?" you asked excitedly. 

"It was in the bag you already looked in," Nori said, amused. 

"Omg," you groan. "ADHD: always keeping things interesting," you said sarcastically. 

"I know how you feel. Why do you think I keep "borrowing" things?" he said, giving you a wink. 

You both end up laughing. 

Thorin: 

Thorin has been watching you for a few days now. He saw you fidgeting, zoning out in conversations, and getting off track. He was nervous for you, thinking you were scared. One night, he decided to address it with you. 

"Y/N," he said, sitting down. 

"Hi, Thorin," you said. 

He cleared his throat. "I've noticed recently… that you've been fidgeting around." Thorin pauses, looking at you. "I know this adventure isn't going as planned. And… it's perfectly fine to be scared-." You cut him off, laughing. 

He looks at you, confused. 

"I'm not scared; I actually have ADHD. It just makes me... you know," you said, trailing off. 

Thorin nodded, realizing how much you had opened up. "I'm sorry, Y/N, for the misunderstanding," he said.

With a small smile, you looked up at him. 

"Thank you for confiding in me," he said, reaching for your hand and squeezing it.

Fíli: 

While traveling to Erebor, you found yourself walking next to Fili, talking about your interests. You didn't realize how much you were talking before you heard Fili laugh. 

"What?" you ask, a little confused. 

"You!" he says, shaking his head and smiling. “You're really getting into it." 

Your smile drops, and a slow blush covers your face. 

"Oh, was I? When I get onto a topic I like, I go on and on. My ADHD gets me going. I'm sorry..." you trail off. 

"No, no, "he says, patting your back. "I like that you get super invested! ... You're adorable when you talk about your interests." 

You hear "oohs" from the rest of the group, poking fun at Fíli's flirting. Rest assured, Fíli asked you more questions about your interests for the rest of the trip, hoping to get to know you a little more *wink wink*. 

Kíli: 

Double trouble. That's what they called you two. Since joining this adventure, you and Kili have instantly hit it off. You were glued to his side, talking for hours and causing mischief. One evening, neither of you could sleep. 

"Kili, do you want to play cards?" you said. 

Kili doesn't respond. 

"Kili," you said again, bumping his shoulder. He quickly looked up and smiled awkwardly. 

"Sorry," he said. "I kinda zoned out." 

You giggled. "No worries, I do that too." 

His face lights up. 

"Right! It happens all the time!" he said

"Especially when Balin is talking on and on—" 

"About how we need to pay attention. Same!" Kili interrupted excitedly! 

There is a quick silence before Kili scoots closer and asks, "Y/N, do you have ADHD?" 

"Yes. Why do you ask?" you said. 

He claps his hands together before saying, "Cause I do too! It's as if we're soulmates," he laughed. 

"Not sure soulmates is the right word," you said, blushing. 

He smiled and hugged you. "No matter the word, I'm glad I have someone like me around. Makes me feel good," he said, hugging you again.

Bilbo: 

Standing beside Bilbo, you could see him twisting his buttons. You had just narrowly missed death with trolls, and nerves were high.

"Here," you say, handing him a ring. 

"What's this for?" he says, looking at it. 

"So you can fidget with it. I saw you messing with your buttons." 

"T-Thanks," he says quickly, putting it on and twirling it around his finger."

"Are you nervous, too?" he asks, pointing to your fingers playing with your rings. 

"Yeah, plus it helps with my ADHD," you reply. 

A warm smile appears on his face, and he nods in understanding.

"Well, thank goddess, you have an extra one of these," he exclaims, his gaze fixed on the ring. "I appreciate it, thank you!"

Gandalf:

You were running late, as always. 

"Sh*t," you say, running down the road, hiking your bag up a little. 

You were late to meet up with Gandalf. He had invited you on an important trip and told you to meet him at noon. At this point, you were already 45 minutes late. Rounding the corner, you could see Gandalf in the distance, smoking on this pipe. Rushing up to him, you immediately start to ramble. 

"Gandalf, I'm really sorry! I didn't even realize what time it was. I got so caught up in a project I was working on that I lost track of time. My ADHD can make me hyper-focus on things, and I'm sorry if this caused any inconvenience. If you don't want me to go on this trip, I understand I  can-"He held up his hand, causing you to stop. 

Letting out a puff of smoke, he sits up and looks at you. "A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to….and I know, dear Y/N, that you arrived exactly when you were supposed to," he chuckles. 

You smile, knowing Gandalf understands and isn't bothered by your delay. 

"Come now," he says, "off to the Shire."

Side note: I kinda used the quote from the movie hehe!

[dullgecko]

Not my own headcanons but asking for one of yours!

What flavour (if any) of neurodivergent are all the Bad Kids?

Neurodivergent has to be looked at a whoooole different way when you're looking at a bunch of kids who are different species. Some stuff still lines up but the baseline of whats considered 'normal' is different for all of them.

Kristen is absoloutly ADHD, she's got that hyperfocus then absoloutly no-focus pendulum going all day every day.

Adaine has anxiety, that's cannon. She was mostly okay before the whole oracle thing kicked in but now she literally has her brain telling her things are going to go wrong all the time.

Gorgug is nothing really if you look at him from a human perspective, he's just a quiet kindof shy guy. He even has a decent grip on his rages and is fairly emotionally intelligent. Looking at him from a half-orc point of view might make him seem like he has something going on though.

Fabians got something going on, he's definitly got that post-laviathan PTSD but his is more of a problem with how he was raised. Simultaniously doted on and also neglected, he's starting to sort himself out though. He's nowhere near as bad as he was freshman year, but simultaniously somehow worse in other ways.

Fig is a little bipolar, she has her manic swings and then massive depressive episodes. She's working on it though, Jawbone is helping her work through it.

Riz is all sorts of autistic (even from a goblin perspective), you can fight me on this one. He has his special interests, is constantly trying to 'mask' to seem normal and has a hard time making friends. The whole goblin thing just adds an extra layer onto the masking and makes it a lot tougher (he over-compensates with the whole suit getup to try to seem normal and goes waaaay too far).

[albeitinzane]

sometimes i remember that me having adhd is like. disabling. my friends were talking about their classmates having to ask for extensions because they weren't passionate about the coursework and didn't do it, and i was like "oh i'd likely have to ask for extensions but that's just because brain don't worky" and then they started giving me the really basic adhd tips that everyone has tried like "get a planner" and "take notes" as if the whole problem is me remembering that i have work to do

don't get me wrong, i'm not mad at them for giving this advice; it is helpful advice for some people, and yes, i keep a planner and i write everything down, because i know that if it's important, i don't want to forget it. however, it illustrates to me that people don't understand the full issue around adhd. it's not just "i *forgot* my assignment", it's "i remember my assignment but my brain screams and cries like a baby every time i try to buckle down and do it, so i have to fight myself to get it done".

adhd isn't just "i forgot this". it's "i have the motivation/energy to do this but because it's not the exact niche thing my brain wants to be doing right now, it's a total extra million more pains in my ass". it's having the desire do to 5 billion things at once and not making the moves you need to do to actually do any of them. it's having a fucking toddler in your brain that throws a temper tantrum, full on bawling and screaming and crying every time you want to be a functional adult and it just doesn't feel like doing that right then and there. i love the power of hyperfocus when it comes around, but i can't control when it does. the fact of the matter is that adhd is legitimately disabling for me, and sometimes, all i can do is give myself extra time to strangle my brain goblins and get them to shut up long enough for me to finish my work.

it also reminds me that not every developmentally/intellectually disabled person is going to understand or be entirely empathetic towards my experiences with adhd, because they just don't get why this is a problem i deal with. they don't have adhd. they don't know how it feels to have a goblin in your brain screaming 24/7 and racing in a circle at a billion miles an hour, rarely focusing on one topic for more than 20 minutes to an hour (unless the autism goblin takes control and then i think about nothing but one thing for a whole month but this is about adhd not autism). i'm not upset with them for not understanding, but sometimes i wish i could put them in my shoes so they'd get it, so it'd click for them and they'd understand.

some of my friends have gotten really upset with me about my adhd symptoms before, and all i can do at this point that isn't being unhealthily apologetic is go "sorry man, i can't control that." i feel bad about asking for accommodations like assignment extensions, even though i know they're one of the only things that actually work to help me get anything done. i wonder sometimes if me needing accommodations for my disability means i'm not passionate or good enough, but deeper down i know that's not true.

idk, this is getting rambly. but i generally think people forget that conditions like autism and adhd can, in fact, disable you, and do, in fact, need accommodating. i can't just flip a switch and get my brain to work the way it's supposed to. it's not a skill issue, it's a disability.

tldr: gary!!! i need adderall!!!

[goron-king-darunia]

Eggtober Recap and Masterpost 2023

Untitled Egg Poem Egg Yolk Splattered in a chipped bowl, Limitless potential Broken like the dawn.

Scared of wasted sunrise, Scared of loving white lies, Yearning, Wanting to breathe free.

Prison within a prison, Living without living, I am spinning, toiling, burning, Breaking, sifting, praying, learning, Nothing blooming Nothing growing Tears.

Crackling insanity, A song that boils within me A rhythm Setting me in stone.

And I'll claw in Like dandelions, Vines, like yeast and mold I'll make a mark one day, you'll see.

Rooted, I'll grow my thorns, It's not my fault for being born, Sorry if My laughter is too loud.

I'll make a reverie of mechanical monotony No more apologies Just me. Insects and wriggling larvae, Eggshell like lead paint chips, Star dust doesn't choose its shape.

Pigment from wilted roses, blood spilled by mistake, I refuse to ever break.

Not again.

Eggtober is over. We did it~ The poem doesn't really speak to a current state of mind. Just a pattern of maladaptive thinking I grew up having, being the weird kid. People like the rough edges a lot more when you grow up, I've found. Makes you interesting. Or maybe it's just easier to find your people when you're unapologetically strange online. And I like that Eggtober sort of embraces that. It's not a super serious Inktober challenge. Just a bunch of weird people drawing weird eggs. And I mean that in the best way. People expect there to be a "why" a lot. "Why eggs?" And sometimes there is a why. Sometimes I draw eggs to express something or to symbolize something. But sometimes there is no why. Sometimes it's just because an egg is easy or fun or comfortable. Sometimes an egg just feels right. Sometimes it's just to make something. Doesn't have to be poetic or meaningful. Sometimes you just draw an egg, and that's all it is. And I think a lot of discomfort around art is that everyone expects there to be a why, and if you don't have a why, then your art doesn't deserve to be seen. "Why do you like gorey stuff, kinky stuff, weird stuff? If you can't explain, I'm choosing to believe you're a freak and should be disallowed from creating." And I'm lucky, I think, to not be that popular. I don't get asked these sorts of things. But I see it happen to other people. And sometimes I get it. An answer to the why pacifies. I get uneasy with horror the same as everyone and I pacify it by reading the wiki and learning the secrets and understanding the why. But I think we need to get more comfy making up our own why, or get comfy with the knowledge that sometimes there isn't a why. Sometimes the little brain goblin decides there is no why. They just like the weird little eggs. And that's okay. And I think the reason we make up for other peoples' "why" should maybe stop being "because they're a weird little freak that likes degenerate things." Because yeah, maybe they are. But it's not a bad thing. And the world is a lot more interesting when we accept that we don't always know the why. And the why isn't always as simple as that.

I dunno. I'm rambling a bit. But I'm grateful to everyone that showed up and participated and shared and liked and just... enjoyed existing where the thing happening was lots of eggs and the "why" was just "why not?"

Hoping every one of you has a nice glass of your preferred warm beverage and stays nice and toasty for the rest of the year. (Shout out to the southern hemisphere folks if there are any. May you guys have an iced beverage of your choice and stay nice and cool for the rest of the year.)

Lots of thoughts about Eggtober 2023 and no good way to articulate them, but suffice it to say that having a loose amount of structure like this is very good on my garbage ADHD brain. If anything in the collage catches your fancy, here's the posts in order from the top left to the bottom right. May the rest of 2023 be sweet. I can't wait to see everyone again next year! And don't eat too much Halloween Candy at once, even if it is those yummy gummy fried egg candies.

Eggtober 2023 Posts in Order: (Unfortunately I didn't learn about the speedpaint feature until day 6 😢)

Eggtober 1st: Fried Egg on Green Eggtober 2nd: Lemon Fried Egg (Both Versions) Eggtober 3rd: Fried Egg Cake

Eggtober 4th: Poached Eggs and Asparagus Hollandaise Eggtober 5th: Sheet Pan Fried Eggs Eggtober 6th: Raw Egg (Both Versions)

Eggtober 7th: Painted Egg Eggtober 8th: Rice Crispy Eggs Eggtober 9th: Chocolate Souffle Eggtober 10th: Hot and Sour Soup

Eggtober 11th: Flan Eggtober 12th: Fried Eggs and Bacon Eggtober 13th: Ramen Eggs Eggtober 14th: Tiger Skin Egg

Eggtober 15th: Fried Egg with Berries Eggtober 16th: Cheesy Baked Cream Eggs Eggtober 17th: Mushroom Quiche Eggtober 18th: Cipriani Cake

Eggtober 19th: Pavlova with Strawberry Jam Eggtober 20th: Deviled Egg Eggtober 21st: Hard-boiled Egg and Mayo Eggtober 22nd: Scrambled Eggs with Cheese

Eggtober 23rd: Omurice Eggtober 24th: Shrimp Fried Rice Eggtober 25th: Uovo in Raviolo Eggtober 26th: Image of Fried Egg on Jack-o-lantern.

Eggtober 27th: Tea Egg Eggtober Eggtober 28th: Monster Eggs Eggtober 29th: Korean Egg Bread Eggtober 30th: Fried Egg on Magenta in the Stlye of @quezify

Eggtober 31st: Fried Egg on Burger Eggtober 31st Bonus: Egg Creature from SNOBBISM

Special thanks to my bae, @actualaster for the love and support, @hannikka for the encouraging words, @lady-quen for the ongoing collab, and @quezify for being the best host. Love you all! I am putting the King Sized Reese's and KitKat candy bars in your metaphorical Halloween bags.