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mountain-lion-gremlin Ā· 1 year ago
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So yes, im coming up on the end of my detox. During this time, ive actually learned a LOT because simply, im not glued to my phone 24/7.
Society pushes this idea that we NEED phones. That without your portable dopamine box you arent cool, or normal, or whatever the hell they choose to say.
Ive found clarity in my life. Ive focused more on my witchcraft and learning the craft itself. Ive danced in the rain and felt the rhythm of the earth, its heart beating beneath my feet. Ive started to learn Finnish even better than before, and my studies on homework have become so much easier because im not as distracted.
If it was up to me, i would never go back to being glued to my dopamine box. But...
If anyone who is following me and knows of my Amino, Ive been gone from it for awhile now. I worry that certain rules arent being enforced, or its becoming a hateful place. I left it in the hands of my staff, of course, but i still worry...
But regardless, Ill see if I can get an app that allows me to run mobile apps on my computer. I dont want to go back to using my phone unless i have to.
(Keep reading if you wanna see what I have to say about shapeshifting and stuff. I dont want this post to be eons of scrolling to those who dont want to read about it.)
Now, onto the important stuff that people might be asking me.
"Rio, did you fully m-shift and achieve your goals of shifting???" Well... no. Sadly.
Life has been really hectic, so Ive been focusing on the important, human stuff in my life, and have been struggling with balancing the important, animal stuff in my life. Im not going to lie, its easier to do now than it was before, but I still have to put effort into it.
With p-shifting, well... recently Ive been reading a lot of hate on p-shifting in general, how its wrong, how much actual stigma surrounds it, and im in a ditch when it comes to believing it will actually happen. Ive watered down my beliefs so many times for others online recently, that im questioning that they are true.
I know that they arent true. But, I know for a fact that even if I never p-shift, I will still be happy being who I am. Its a constant itch, and constant scratch to be who I really am, but I honestly believe that even if I never do p-shift, I will never stop being here, being a shifter and being happy.
In the end thats all its really about, seriously. Arent we just trying to be happy with ourselves, our identity, our lives? It hurts to even go a step outside of the shifting community, and see hours and hours of people talking about how horrible it is, how manipulative, how impossible it is. It makes me want to hide again in my little bubble and forget I ever saw it.
But it brings a sort of... clarity I guess? Many people who have never been apart of the community or have even ventured in will say "its impossible to do".
People who have been hurt, or have seen the hurt caused by misinformation and misguidance of shapeshifting will almost always say "p-shifting is manipulative, horrible, the people within it are blah blah blah blah blah...."
People who are apart of it but havent p-shifted will say "Ive seen so many success stories, Ive even seen my own progress with it and im really happy" And people who have shifted... well they either disappear quite quickly, or their stories are lost to deaf ears.
And after years and years of feeling like I have to fight against these people, show how I am, show the truth and understand it all... I feel domesticated by the reality that is always, constantly shoved in my face.
Nobody cares. Im trapped within society and I cant escape. I will never be free. I will never, ever be my animal. I am delusional for even believing it.
vitut.
I know that currently in my life, I am where I am. I cannot change it, because I am not old enough to. I know that I have and must make do with what I have, instead of wishing for things I do not have. Cougars are adaptable, we are survivors and change with our enviornment.
There will ALWAYS be time to be who I am. There will always be chance after chance after chance for me, I just have to grab it.
And ive noticed that I no longer have to force every single m-shift. It feels like just thinking about it, about mountain lions causes a shift. Ive gotten so comfortable in my living situation ive been vocalizing as my animal, jumping around on all fours and feeling like my animal.
Sometimes I worry that Ive become so obsessed with trying to m-shift that Ive forgotten that theres still more beyond it. While writing this post, I feel... excited for my future. I feel like p-shifting can happen to me. I feel like I am almost close to permanently m-shifting.
And let me tell you a little secret about m-shifting.
(There is no trigger for when you permanently m-shift. There is no way to actually know by just reading what others say it feels like. There is no actual way to do it.)
Permanently m-shifting to me, simply feels like a comfortableness with my animal. It feels safe, and okay to be who I am. And personally for me, after years of m-shifting, trust is what has brought me to where I am. (This might not be the case for everyone lol, figure out whats going on with yourself instead of using what I say to be the end all for you and your problems!) I was honestly afraid of my other side. That it was dangerous, wild, would hurt someone. I was also afraid that I would never actually get here and do this, because my mental shifts arent as strong or frequent as others. I was also afraid that it wouldnt work. So, so afraid that I would mess up and fail.
But I've learnt that... I am in control of myself. And being an animal IS myself. I have the control to be safe, and not harm others. We all do. Its an idea that has been presented to us through media, stigma, ableism and society itself. We always talk of people "losing control" or "flying off the handle". Werewolves are seen as beings who will rip your face off if they get mad.
We arent like that, you know that, right? I had to trust that I would be in control of my m-shifts. And even if my control has slipped, (such as when I had an m-flare in the middle of gym class) I was able to quickly recover because it wasnt appropriate at school to start running on all fours and hiding beneath the bleachers.
Ive also learnt that no, you cannot fail while m-shifting. There is no right or wrong way to m-shift. There is no way to fail an m-shift. M-shifting is just allowing yourself to be more animal-like, allowing your animal to be safe and comfortable with itself. Its complicated to explain the connection between our animal selves, and our human selves, but the most basic (not too accurate) way to explain it is that we are each other. You are your animal, and your animal is you. As you m-shift more this makes more sense, and you find your own meaning to what your connection, and your animal's connection is.
Regardless, even if I took breaks. Even if I wasnt dedicated, or spent all of my time m-shifting. I still am getting closer. What matters is the fact that you still care about it, and will do it when you can. Its unrealistic to believe someone could constantly be m-shifting actively, most circumstances make it very hard to do so. (Especially mine. I have divorced houses, 2 AP classes im taking, problematic siblings, responsibilities...)
It feels like learning a new language in a sense. Like, to m-shift is to constantly m-shift. To learn a new language is to constantly immerse yourself in it. Well... we cant really do that, so instead we go with short bursts of doing this, with interspersed passive learning, or attempting to m-shift when we can.
And nobody is barred from m-shifting. Let me let you know. NOBODY IS BARRED FROM M-SHIFTING!! Some people I know feel stuck, like they cannot m-shift. That its only involuntary. Listen. Listen listen listen.
There are many different ways to m-shift. So many!! Lots of people say "I cant meditate, and so ill never m-shift." Thats NOT true. Thats not true. I literally cant meditate lol.
And its not really attempting to voluntarily force a shift using triggers and stuff. I just think about it and try to feel more immersed in my senses, allow my perspective of life to shift more animal-like. AND, m-shifts do NOT have to be large, explosive things that change your whole reality and how you think and you want to crawl on all fours and you feel yourself p-shifting and fur-
Nah nah nah. Most shifts people will experience, at least how i know it, will be small, tiny shifts that you most likely wont notice unless you pay attention to it. Even if you arent trying to m-shift in the moment, even thinking about it may cause you to fall into a light shift. You do not need to have very impactful m-shifts to m-shift.
And I wont lie, my friend @dakotathewolf has helped me a lot, even with the endless ramblings on both ends (lol) I feel like we have both grown as people and understand more because of what we have taught each other.
I hope this helps you, dakota, along with anyone else who needs it.
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chloesimaginationthings Ā· 5 months ago
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Is Michael Afton gay or European in FNAF?ā€¦
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thisiswhereikeepdcthings Ā· 5 months ago
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I think Duke Thomas should get to give off eldritch horror vibes to all JL-associated magic users. As a treat.
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letsplayeternity Ā· 6 months ago
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Honest question, I've been rethinking the whole "Colin has done the same with Penelope Featherington" speech Anthony gave to Daphne and his mother in season 1 and the fact that when Colin talked to his brothers in 3x05 both Ben and Anthony were like "I didn't have a clue" and like... do we think Anthony spent the evening rethinking every single interaction he has ever witnessed between Colin and Pen and every single instance where he let things slide because "oh that's just eloise's friend?" and just banging his head against a wall as Kate laughs her ass off??
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just-null Ā· 3 months ago
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Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!
Mentioning an unfamiliar name
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yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..
I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.
#null rot#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#midori306#YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE YANDERE QUESTION MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER#uwaa and i recently checked back on their designs.. THEY HAVE LONG SLANTED EARS DUDE WHAT THE FUCKKK THATS LIKE THE CUTEST EVER#i tend to shitpost and focus on the dere than the yan but thats my mistake!! im sorry cult members.. I'll need scarousal#when calling sekdio. he pretends to ignore you but you can tell he heard you when his ear twitches#He's flabbergasted that you met someone else to begin with. who let you go out without one of them?!#hes too shocked and angry to even properly get upset!!#Karaku loves everything you have to say. less so if its positive abt someone else. still listens tho. listening carefully for details..#he doesnt mind others eyeing you. youre perfect in his eyes. who wouldnt? still.. thats not gonna fly well.#Urogi loves when you seek him out but mentioning someone else... is bc you want to feed him right? ofc! you want to benefit him!#its cause hes your favorite! yeah! youre so sweet!!! ofc he'll get rid of someone for you both!!#Aizetsu's bashful. he feels put on the spot when calling him but hes always hoping you give him affection of some kind. always ready for yo#mentioning someone else was NOT what he wanted and now hes sad.. youre making him sad.. whats so important you had to bring that up?#The thought of anyone else makes him feel so exhausted already.. wont you comfort him instead? he needs you now.. atone for your mistakes#uwaa expressions.. uwaaa aizetsu releasing some of the tension in his brows when hes feeling upset towards you uWAA#i CANT RAMBLE ENOUGH IN THE TAGS SO WAIT FOR THE POST I HAVE IN THE BACK BURNER FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO ASKED FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!!!!!
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lilislegacy Ā· 7 months ago
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ā€œhoneyā€ is such an ā€˜old married coupleā€™ nickname. i usually hate pet names, especially for percy and annabeth, but iā€™m not gonna lie guysā€¦. i kinda love the thought of them sometimes referring to each other as honey?? like, i can just hear it. ā€œhoney you know i respect and value your opinions so so much, but can you shut up for like 2 minutes?ā€ ā€œhoney you know i love you and your great plans, but can you not get us fucking killed?ā€ ā€œhey honey can you use your sword to cut the tag off my dress?ā€ ā€œwise girl, honey, why is nico asleep in our guest roomā€¦ again?ā€ peak romance? i think yes. also annabeth is from the south, so it actually makes so much sense.
itā€™s so unexpected, but also so fitting?? idk for some reason i love it. just me? send help
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rocketbirdie Ā· 2 days ago
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face value
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originalartblog Ā· 1 year ago
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Tiny skk adventures!
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not like they're also cranky and tired and touch-starved
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aestheticallynotdeerlightful Ā· 5 months ago
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Style swap- Invader Zim and Psychonauts
Cause I thought it would be fun and practice
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(Please do not use or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me first thank you <3)
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sen-ya Ā· 7 months ago
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What would Shanks think of Law and Luffyā€™s alliance because Shanks obviously loves and adore and is very protective of Luffy, so to see the boy who heā€™s known since he was seven and is a ray of sunshine next to a grumpy serious and tall older than him pirate captain ļæ¼
Would Shanks see the signs of love between the two? Would he see that even though theyā€™re opposites that they work together perfectly.
What would Shanks thoughts be when he sees the look of panic and fear and pain in Luffyā€™s eyes when he asks Luffy about Dressrosa?
hi hello um I def did not hit the tone you were getting at here but this just spilled outta me
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dragonskulls Ā· 1 year ago
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i remade my old talon tutorial with a few extra tips! these are just things i have learned from references, other artists and experimenting myself, so i hope they can be helpful for you!
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sprinklesharkie Ā· 8 months ago
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losing it over the way gem asked xisuma to ban grian and he just,, did
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tizzymcwizzy Ā· 2 years ago
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my final pieces for my humanities project! the topic was on bearing witness to history
this collection covers some of the facets of being a first generation chinese american kid, and for me specifically, being a biracial white asian kid
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cozymochi Ā· 4 days ago
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Hiii I can pls get a totally not for research purposes Q of
Pet peeves: What are your twst OC's pet peeves and which one in the cast accidentally (or not) commit the "crimes"? How will your twst OC deal with that person?
for the snake man of everyoneā€™s dreams?
Nyokaā€™s major peeve is being disturbed in any capacity.
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I can see somebody like Grim bothering him, if only on accident. Be it crashing into him in the midst of a food shenanigan or anything that would cause his peace to be thrown off. Seems like an unfortunate encounter that would happen a lot. Even then, I donā€™t know if he would do much except be agitated and depending on the circumstance might scheme later as a form of real payback if he reaches a limit.
Heā€™d eat Grim if he didnā€™t taste terrible. Maybe that Prefect should be doing their job.
Implying that heā€™s bitten him before lmfao
Optional further clarification yapping under cut.
Technically, within Savanaclaw Nyoka is disturbed almost constantly if he leaves his room. If heā€™s not needed for some activity or classes heā€™s usually in his room or somewhere else out of the way.
Majority of Savanaclaw students are pretty hotheaded, so that can be a problem for Nyoka who by nature isnā€™t confrontational. Heā€™s a cobra beastman, thatā€™s not really their game. Heā€™s not passive per se, but would rather not get his hands dirty. He especially will not want to do so if outnumbered, and lots of students in that dorm do run in packs.
It kind of ends up lending into the perception within that dorm that heā€™s docile and easy to trample over (literally and figuratively). In a way, sure, but thatā€™d be a surface level read.
He can be pretty vicious, but he mostly saves that for his mouth (in many ways). He has a formal way of speaking but anything he says can be harsh and biting. No pun intended.
So, if he is disturbed at least within the context of his dorm, most of time nothing will happen except now heā€™s agitated and on the defense.
If he can avoid confrontation, he will. If he canā€™t and it persists, then the aggressor will get their dues tenfold when they least expect it. Case by case of course. šŸ«” Never confront a cobraā€™s space thatā€™s asking for trouble. Heā€™s in that dorm for a reason. He wonā€™t forget about it.
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soundleer Ā· 10 days ago
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Hello! I remember you saying that your sprunkis are the size of jellybeans. If that's the case, if you don't mind, can you draw something involving the sprunki cast swinging and chilling on someone's hand? Idk I just thought of smth lol/nf
whee yea i can take this opportunity to draw how tiny they are to us!
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assorted jellybeans (+ my sona) :33
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waitineedaname Ā· 3 months ago
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for all that bingqiu and moshang are wrapped up in each other's business, I find it funny that shen qingqiu and mobei-jun have NO relationship. cumplane have their whole cosmically entwined nonsense, bingqiu and moshang are just differently flavored cumplane, and sqh and binghe have some kind of dynamic in the "author and his protagonist" sense, but sqq and mbj never once speak to each other. I just skimmed mobei-jun's appearances in the main three volumes and I think the only thing sqq says to him is "a demon?" when he first appears and mobei-jun just fucking ignores him. they exist in the same scene several times, but never interact. they've both got their attachments to binghe and weird obsession with sqh, but they have absolutely no relationship to each other. I think if you put just the two of them in a room together, they would sit there in silence until sqq contemplates whether killing himself would end the awkwardness
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