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bunnis-monsters · 10 hours

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Good morning, I hope you're doing well.

I've been a shy onlooker of your work for quite some time, however as of recently I've been noticing with a couple of the bee-hybrid ficlets that you've been writing, one or two of them that involved (specifically) child/infant characters were tagged with the 'monster fucker' and various such related tags..?

I love the bee stuff, I do! Please don't take this as a hate message because I really don't mean for it to come off as such. But if you're going to include infant/child characters under the age of 18 in your fics, please don't include them in NSFW scenarios, fics, or situations or put them in NSFW tags. I don't think that's entirely legal in some places and I say that out of the goodness of my heart for your protection and your readers.

There was a woman banned off Youtube who was criminally charged for breastfeeding her child and uploading it and I know this is in no way as severe but I honestly don't want to see you get banned and all your fics wiped off tumblr because you put 'minor characters' in NSFW situations/tags. :(

You could try maybe just not tagging the stuff with baby bees?? You have a huge follow base and a discord (that i'm too shy to join) so I'm sure people would still find that content if they're following you.

I'm sorry for bothering you, I hope you have a good day.

Uh.

I tag all of my fics as monster fucking… because that’s the genre. The baby bees are a result of said monster fucking.

I specifically use monster fucking on all of my posts so people who don’t like the monster fucking genre can easily filter my posts out.

I do not include any smut tags like I do on my other posts, and SPECIFICALLY tag them as “monster sfw” or “monster fluff” when I remember.

Not only have I never sexualized or plan on sexualizing the baby bees, if you or anyone else sees anything regarding them as sexual… idk what to say. They’re the most innocent posts on my page.

Read my REQUEST INFO so you can understand that I do not write for pedophilic relationships or situations. The baby bees are children.

I think you’re reading a bit into it. I’m not sure about that case of a YouTuber being banned for breast feeding, but that’s a real person with real children. These are fanfics. There could have been more behind that, and I know for sure there are cases where parents exploit their children on the internet in ways that are in the grey area, like for example, breastfeeding them and sexualizing it purposefully(breastfeeding isn’t inherently sexual, but it can be sexualized and sold as such to an audience) or having them do things that are suggestive for their pedophile audience to continue using them as a cash cow.

This is not that. The baby bees are fictional, and not once have they been sexualized. I am not interested in doing so. They’ll still be under the monster fucker tag because the baby bees are tied to the bee hybrids which ARE very NSFW. It’s a genre.

I use tags that relate to my post and can help them be easily filtered by those that DON’T want to see my content.

Never ask something like this again, it made me deeply uncomfortable.

#anon ask #ask answered #tw pedophila mention

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nadianova · 1 day

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if im an artist with no following + want to make games for $ (i want to do game dev for work) shld i release games for free at first so ppl have a Taste (idk if ppl will buy even if it looks good n idk hiw to advertise. i hav no monies or job rip

idk really if your games look good and are good then ask for money but if you havent made games before and will be doing amateur work youre probably gonna get better results releasing free stuff for your first things.

if youre going to make eroges like me i thikn itch io is a good place if your game has a good look and you tag it with all the nsfw tags i use like porn and adult and if you relaly wanna be bold tag your transgirl game as futanari for free tourist traffic.. it should help with building audience

ultimately i dont think its about if its paid or free when getting started its more like.. dont spend 5 years working on your first project. aim to do small ones like jam games that take a month or two to make. then you can release a pay what you want free game and a paid game and see how it compares and then use that experience as your information going forwards

also if you're doing free games i thikn pay.what-you-want option with some bonus stuff like for example an artbook like how i do it is a pretty good way to approach free games as well. i dont see it as often as id expect given how nice it is

if you end up making money from your games eventually i think the best thing to invest in terms of games is to pay a good artist to make you nice looking sprites it helps with people taking your game more seriously be it a paid game or a free one

maqrketing is kindof annoying but I'm terminally online and cant stop posting so the tried and true method of posting porn and shitposts about my game on social media is what i do

but seriously IMO the most important thing is just that dont spend years making some bbig project in the dark and start with something small first to get more familiar with your skills and audience and what you even want to do first. even if your big project ends up being amazing its a huge risk and time investment.. it works for some peopel but theres many people who it wont work for

finishign games is hard so imo the most valuable skill is to just finish something like put aside some time in your life for 2 months for a jam and complete a game. if you can do that then it means you can do games and experiment what is the right play to do if your goal is to make money

idk how much money here truly is to be made with tiny indie games but itch io is good for porn and if you wanna sell out make some koikatsu waifu game for cis man audience and release a 0.1b version and put up a patreon looool <3 remember, no ntr. men are afraid of ntr

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year2000electronics · 2 days

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Honestly my favorite thing about you by far is how you build on aus and fanon of old without being needlessly cruel and disparaging to it. OG reverse falls had a lot of issues, but people tend to get lost in dogging on it as opposed to embracing the beauty that comes with creating new content for it with hindsight and maturity that the fandom of old didn’t have. Basically just thank you for being so kind. Anyway my second favorite thing you do is draw reverse ford like a silver fox you’re so fucking real for that

thank you!! i really do try to be kind and positive about stuff as best as i can when it applies, i know fanon stuff gets a lot of flak for often being derivative or just very shoddy at times but its like. idk. ive always seen the bridge to better fanon being lifting up and supporting what you do like, because the more lamenting that happens the more you end up just sorta chasing this giant invisible strawman of "you guys" who are "making the thing i dont like instead of the thing i like" (as a pretty relevant example, ill see posts pop up in tags complaining about "you guys'" humanizations of a certain triangle... -_- )

because like its true! sometimes fan stuff is dumb. because we're all creating stuff out there so some of its going to be dumb. even some gravity falls stuff is dumb. roadside attraction is dumb. parts of the wendy crush arc are dumb. which is why i want to lift up parts of something i like and when i do point out stuff i dont like i always want to kinda be constructive about why. and i do think that trying to build something i like attracts people! i think they pick up on the passion there! and it just feels so much more rewarding than if i were to complain all day. idk. its all about striking a balance and its something i like to think about and ruminate on a lot as someone who participates in the community of fandom.

its also a bit of a glass houses thing to me, because i dont think i can even claim to have fanon that like, doesnt suck. not in a self deprecating way you just have to understand where im coming from here... because im the type of person who loves to ruminate on how the relationships between people affect them and how it makes their story, which ends up meaning i go REALLY hard on shipping! and someone could point to me and be like "wow youve got Yaoi Brain" or something! and i draw my human bill as a skinny white guy because idk i just Do! and people could call that derivative if they so wished! if i was going around proclaiming that i could 'be better' and 'fix bad fanon' it would just feel ironic to me. because sometimes the art i make isnt perfect too. and im fine with that. its a part of my art to me.

anyways thank you for the ask and the gateway for me to ramble :] i always like talking about this stuff. here's silver fox ford gleeful again

#mothra answers

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listentoace · 9 hours

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Hey, I wanted to address a couple of things.

I have been receiving several asks regarding some of my recent posts. I admit they are darker than the usual stuff. That was a decision I consciously made, because I do tend to have darker fantasies and wanted to see how they would be received. I consider most of the criticism I received to be valid points. Here are a few of them:

The whole idea of "ruining yourself"/"ruining your body" as you're gaining weight can be found fatphobic

Connecting feederism to habitual behavior, addiction, loss of control, and even brain damage can be found scary or even disturbing

Encouraging people to embrace health issues (both physical and mental) because of feederism can be found toxic

Constantly connecting feederism and weight gain with the negative side effects (sluggishness and laziness, health issues, societal judgement, etc.) can lead to the conclusion that feederism, obesity, indulgence, etc. are generally bad things

I won't try to defend myself. In fact, I completely agree with (most) criticism I received. The only kind of "criticism" I don't recognize are attacks toward me personally, but that's just reflected in a minority of the asks I receive. To all people who have sent me asks: it's great that you're sharing your opinion and thoughts, and I encourage you to keep doing so!

I think it is necessary to mention again that I don't mean anyone any harm. I am not fatphobic, and I do not mean to force any kinks upon anyone. This is just me writing and recording some horny ideas I occasionally have for those people who are into the same stuff. It is also very important to mention that in many cases, the fantasy of something can be very hot, while the reality of it could be very stressful and traumatizing. This is especially the case with more intense fantasies and kinks, e.g., being kidnapped and fattened. Everything I write takes place in "fantasy land". Nothing I post is meant as a threat, actual encouragement for dangerous behavior or self harm, or other harmful behavior. Pleae keep this in mind!

Getting back to the criticism: Yes, I like the dark stuff. I am very intrigued by the idea of feedees getting fatter for pleasure, despite all the negative consequences that can come with weight gain and obesity. I also enjoy calling people out for it, both with mild teasing and with very direct "you're damaging yourself" claims. I know that this is not everybody's cup of tea, which is why I already tag all posts with darker topics related to self-destruction, severe health issues, permanent damage and even death with "#death feederism" and "#death feedist". This is also mentioned in my pinned info post under "My Content", encouraging people to hide these tags who are not into certain content I post. However, it is quite clear that this isn't a great solution – otherwise I would not be receiving these asks.

I am very open to solving this issue together. After all, it always has been my personal ambition to write and record content for your enjoyment and pleasure. I want to make you – the readers and listeners – feel good and excited. I don't mean to scare or disturb you with my darker fantasies and kinks that don't appeal to you. Nonetheless, I do enjoy causing "holy shit, this is really bad, but it just feels so good!" pleasure and horniness.

In the past, I occasionally made use of trigger warnings at the top of my posts. If I recall correctly, I did hide the main content behind the "Keep reading" button. This was not consistent, but I am open to generally implementing this for all future posts that include sensitive subjects, such as death feederism, consensual non-consent, heavy conditioning and brain damage, or severe degradation and objectification.

However, before I do that, I first wanted to recognize the asks I received and open the conversation by addressing these issues. I encourage you to share your thoughts on this with me in the comments, asks, or my dms. Please let me know whether you think the combination of a trigger warning and a "Keep reading" button is sufficient and reasonable. I will still be tagging my posts accordingly, like I've done in the past, so filtering through hiding certain hashtags will remain an option either way.

I'm looking forward to your feedback and ideas, thank you for the criticism! :)

#venting

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fandomsareforlife · 1 year

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Anything But Ordinary

So I am late with this entry, but I wanted to write something for rarepair week! This is Griffin/Ash, and it is for the prompt "song-inspired." The song is "Ordinary" by Joriah Kwame, and yes I know the song is about a wlw romance, but I have had this and Mr. Brightside on loop for days and I couldn't get a fic to work with Mr. Brightside, so you get this.

Uh, tws are probably self esteem issues (Griffin basically is really down on himself), kissing (not really described but it is based off my experiences with kissing people), and like relationship issues? If you feel like there should be other triggers let me know.

Also, this was written partially as a projection fic and in 5 hours so sorry if it is incoherent. Probably will go back and edit it later.

Summary: Griffin hates how he has a crush on Ash. This makes everything so inconvenient. Really, couldn't this be done a different day.

I notice how she looks at me

Griffin wasn’t sure when he first noticed Ash staring at him. He didn’t know when he first realized that Ash wasn’t actually zoning out, but he was just looking at Griffin. Ash was watching him when he rambled on and on about different historical periods during an elemental master gathering. It was weird.

But I pretend that I don't see It's easier if I let the tension subside

There were very few things Griffin hated more than causing a commotion. He didn’t like how people reacted so weirdly when they heard something they didn’t like. So Griffin decided that the best choice was to simply ignore it. If he did that, then he didn’t have to make things weird with his friend. It was a win-win solution.

I've seen it in the books I read A magic that you cannot see There's no limitations, they wear it with pride

Griffin always had a guilty pleasure for trashy romance novels. Especially ones that had, master forbid, queer characters. He enjoyed reading how they get together, and he especially enjoyed them when there wasn’t any judgment about the fact that the couple was two guys or two girls, or anything besides a cis guy and a girl. There was something magical about them.

But the characters I read never act or look like me I can't depend on 'em to lead me through the right door

One reason Griffin liked those books might have been because the main characters never looked like him. They were pale, attractive, straight haired people who probably never were pulled aside somewhere by law enforcement to check to see if they were actually allowed to be there. They never felt like their bodies were betraying them.

They weren’t like Griffin, and that meant that what happened to them would never happen to Griffin. It was comforting in a sick way. They couldn’t guide, just make him yearn for a difference.

And what's the point of falling when I know I'm only stalling? 'Cause I have to go back home

Griffin didn’t want to fall in love with Ash. He knew that it would just hurt him too much. He couldn’t bring Ash back to his tiny apartment, where it had to be just so or else Griffin felt like he would lose it. He didn’t want to risk it.

Where I'm just one in the herd, tripping ovеr my words Trying hard to go with the grain Keeping the quirks in my brain

Griffin tried really hard to fit in. He tried to not let the fact that he was a wreck out. He didn’t always succeed, though. Most people would look at him and think he was a weirdo.

He didn’t want that to happen with Ash. Ash, who thought he was cool. Who thought he was actually social. He didn’t want that to go away.

I'm on the brink of discovеry, I think But what if I'm dreaming? That's what it seems like

It felt like a dream, sometimes, thinking Ash actually liked him. The idea of it made Griffin feel all floaty and giddy, like he was in the best dream ever. He wanted to keep that feeling forever.

'Cause this girl thinks I'm part of her world And that new territory's scary

Ash seemed to actually want to be with Griffin, if the way he acted around him was anything to go. Griffin could not gather the courage to ask him about it, though. He was petrified about the idea that Ash would reject him, or he would feel obligated to pretend he reciprocated Griffin’s dumb crush.

If I turn the handle, am I asking for a scandal? Should I try to be ordinary?

Trying to figure out what to do was hard. Griffin knew that the other elemental masters wouldn’t care (hopefully) but he knew others would. He knew he wasn’t worth the hassle, especially because it could tank Ash’s reputation.

Baaah!

Griffin wanted to scream into his pillow. He didn’t like having these feelings. Why did this have to happen to him?

I've always been a little odd The only pea inside the pod That's not an expression, I'm guessing, oh well

It probably didn’t help matters that Griffin was always weird. He would always use expressions that didn’t exist, like “woke up in the middle of the bed,” and “the only pea in the pod.” He would use them like everyone used them, and he would get upset that people would not understand what he meant.

See? That's exactly what I mean! I'm just as awkward as I seem

It was just a fact of life. Griffin was painfully awkward. He would make jokes that everyone would just painfully laugh at. He would fidget whenever felt strong emotions. He didn’t want to be wrong, but he couldn’t figure out how to fix himself.

Plus, she makes me nervous, I hope she can't tell

Having a crush on a guy who Griffin genuinely liked hanging out with was the worst. Ash would do something so mundane like pull his hands through his hair, and Griffin would feel his face turned warm. He hated how he got so flustered by a stupid crush.

What is it she sees in this cluster clump of me? Or, could it maybe be I'm going crazy?

He couldn’t figure out what Ash liked about him. Griffin was just a nervous wreck. Maybe Griffin was just dreaming, a bit of wistful thinking. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

And hey, who am I kidding? This isn't some sweet beginning Just a detour to the end

Griffin didn’t like to think he was someone who kid himself, but he clearly had to be. He was trying to convince himself he was actually worthy of having a crush on. He was deluding himself, trying to stall the inevitable let down.

Then back to the herd, tripping over my words Trying hard to go with the grain

Griffin had to try and keep being normal. It was exhausting. He kept faltering, getting flustered and mixing up what he wanted to say and wanted to hide. But he had to keep doing it. He had to fit in.

Keeping the quirks in my brain

Griffin didn’t have great luck with relationships. He would hate kissing whoever he was with. It was icky to him. He kept trying to get over it, but it was hard. He also liked being quiet with his partner. He could be loud, but sometimes he wanted to be quiet. People who asked him out didn’t like that.

Maybe that was why he wanted to be with Ash. He was also quiet, and seemed pretty nice. He would probably not care about Griffin being weird.

First Master, Griffin was hopeless.

I'm on the brink of discovery, I think But what if I'm dreaming?

Ash did a lot of little things that made Griffin’s heart flutter, and that gave Griffin the smallest bit of hope Ash felt the same about him. He would grab his hand and squeeze. He would lean his head on Griffin’s shoulder and just breathe. He would ruffle Griffin’s hair and laugh into it.

Griffin wanted that to mean that Ash actually really liked him. Like, ‘like-like’ him. ‘Wanted to be in a relationship with him’ like him.

Do I rewind? Induce amnesia? Pretend I didn't see her? Succumb to stupid fear?

It was just a stroke of luck that Ash and Griffin were going to be stuck together by themselves, supposedly for bonding. They were going to meet at a bookstore, and then get lunch. It would be a perfect date. This would be a perfect moment to confess to him, to ask him if he felt the same.

But should Griffin do that? Should he let so much of himself out there? Should he say “fuck it” to his fears?

Would it be easier to just not say anything, not take the risk?

Or just believe in my heart?

Griffin wanted to let himself hope for this so badly. He wanted to follow what his heart wanted. He wanted to tell Ash what he felt.

Why play a part?

Why is Griffin so scared of telling Ash? It probably isn’t just rejection. Griffin had told a lot of people who he knew would reject how he felt.

Is it because he knows that people view him as a ladies man, and he wants to fit into the stereotype? Is he making himself not confess what he feels because he knows it goes against everything?

Well, that is dumb. Fuck it. Griffin can handle rejection.

Why follow the herd?

Griffin knew that traditionally one brought flowers to confess to their crush. But Griffin didn’t think Ash would like flowers. Instead, he made him a wood carving of a duck. Hopefully it wouldn’t get thrown back in his face.

Why not trust in my words?

Griffin had written down some bullet points for his confession, but he didn’t make a speech like he usually did. He wanted this to be true, from the heart.

Don't wanna go with the grain! Why try to make myself plain?

Griffin allowed himself to ramble on about his feelings for Ash. He didn’t look Ash in the eyes. He hoped that his words were enough to convey how he felt. He knew that he was weird, and he didn’t want to let Ash in on false pretenses. He wanted Ash to know he was weird too.

I'm on the brink of rediscovery, I think

Ash didn’t say anything, but he didn’t look mad or upset. He looked shocked, but his expression was slowly morphing into a soft one. He softly chuckled, and then Ash grabbed Griffin’s hand.

So what if I'm dreaming? I like the scene that I'm in

Griffin let a small smile tug at his lips when Ash brought up to his face. He felt panic bubble through him when Ash took off his glasses. He knew his eyes looked very odd, with one being red and green and the other being blue and yellow. The colors of Time.

Ash called him pretty in such an awe filled voice Griffin let himself relax. Ash asked if he could kiss Griffin. Griffin grinned, and pulled Ash closer.

And this girl is a part of this world

They were kissing, and it might not be physically pleasant, but Griffin loved the closeness of it. He adored the fact that Ash was letting him so close to him. He liked the hand on his back, stabilizing him but not pushing him closer. He noted Ash either used bubblegum toothpaste or was just eating some. Ash didn’t pull him closer, and he let Griffin keep his distance. He also was okay with Griffin not really participating. It was nice.

Griffin let himself smile into the kiss. He may not enjoy it for the physical parts, but the closeness was lovely.

The thought of being normal's far more scary

Griffin realized that maybe he had a different opinion on what normal should be. He didn’t want a normal relationship where he had to kiss a lot, only sometimes. He wanted to be in a relationship where they could be quiet without it being awkward.

Huh. Maybe he and Ash were a far better pairing than he thought.

I'll be brave and I'll be kind

Griffin wanted to let himself be able to go out with Ash, and he wanted to be brave enough to tell people that he was with him romantically. He wanted to be able to go out and explain he was in a relationship with a guy and was perfectly a guy.

I'll make a choice and change my mind

Griffin didn’t want to tell Ash he was ever going to regret going out, but he did admit that he had a flightiness to him that made it hard for others. He wanted to have a schedule, but he could change his mind at a moment’s notice. Ash just rolled his eyes and said that he was the same.

I will mess up all the time

Griffin knew he made a lot of mistakes, and he knew that they had consequences. He told Ash that he was going to make a lot of mistakes. But he knew that he could get back up.

They'll say I'm weird, but I'll be fine

Griffin knew he was weird, but he realized that if one person wanted him, then others had to. He realized that he could be weird, and he still had someone who loved him. Griffin was always going to be weird, but that was okay.

I'll be anything but ordinary

Griffin didn’t want to be ordinary. He wanted to break the habit of forcing himself to be in a box. He could be extraordinary, and he was strong enough now to let himself be weird.

Griffin grabbed Ash’s hand and they walked towards the bookstore. There were books to read.

#ninjago rarepair week23 #ninjago griffin turner #ninjago #ninjago ash #smokespeed shipping #please give me feedback i know this is bad #my fic #ask me if you want to be tagged if i post stuff

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deoidesign · 6 days

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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between

#to be or not to be. that is the question #ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment #musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is #To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL #reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires #the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live #even if just out of fear of the unknown #and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live #despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others #theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts #I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79 #working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH #I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever #anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff #banger after banger from me tbh #this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse #it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want #like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere #a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want #ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work

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r0semultiverse · 6 months

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#using 'them' because obviously not all transfem folks (myself included) use she & her #add this one to one of my more super hot takes even if it's true #stop canceling trans women over stuff you absolutely get it up for #also making this because of recent events & no I won't elaborate even if you ask me to #and no I won't debate the ethics of adults playing pretend with you as that's silly; a waste of my time #and is also just not what this post is about; you'd think that'd be obvious but watch people not care anyway #feel free to send asks though It's up to me whether or not I want to answer them #this double standard is never done in good faith & is most assuredly transphobia 100%#marking this post as all of the things because I know the people on this site can't behave; I've seen it before #yes you should reblog this btw; this also happens on twitter & reddit I'm sure though I have no twitter #mine #op #fauxcest #sibcon #step mom #siscon #brocon #sibcest #trans memes #transgender memes #cw adult things #cw adult stuff #tagging all of these just to be safe

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p1ctur3 · 28 days

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Can't believe it has been a full year since I starting posting AvA/M fanart

so I redrew my first piece of fanart :]

#alan becker #animator vs animation #ava #avm #animation vs minecraft #avm red #I'm just gonna talk some random stuff in the tags #its going to be a bit self indulgent and cheesy from here onwards so feel free to ignore from here onwards #honestly #i didnt think i would get this far #never thought people would like my art at all #I'm glad that AvA/M was the first fandom i started posting fanart for #you guys are always so supportive and nice #and the fandom is filled with all sorts of creative and extremely skilled people #i couldn't really have asked for a better community to start posting art for #man #i cant believe that i managed to make 64 posts in a year #thats basically weekly #thank you guys for all your supportt #every small comment that you guys leave actually makes my day and makes me want to do better for you guys #gotten a bit long so yeah i guess i will close off here #so thanks for liking my art :]

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heartless-brainrot · 6 months

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i did things

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tempo-takoyaki · 1 year

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To celebrate 2k followers on instagram, I drew what my followers requested. Here are some of the sketches I made!

#zhuzhi lang #svsss #phosphophyllite #hnk #cheng xiaoshi #lu guang #link click #kim dokja #orv #myart #I'm not tagging more to avoid clogging the tags of each fandom those characters belong to #though if I had a nickel for each time I was asked to draw Phos I would have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened #i'm glad to have been able to draw xizhi lang though... i mean zhuzhi lang #there's more stuff but I'm saving one for another post and another because it's an oc #also no don't request anything from me unless I state otherwise if you want me to draw you stuff in any other circumstances commission me

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ssreeder · 3 months

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Ollo! I was tagged by @transboysokka to post my last line written! thank you!

I am in the midst of editing the last part of the next chapter of ITF, so this is just randomly in there somewhere but it was the last line I tinkered with:

Jee found it endearing how he felt the need to share his joy with Zuko, and Jee was astounded by how patient and docile Zuko was with the other boy.

(as you can probably tell we have successfully made it to the market, and Sokka is happy)

I don’t know who to tag so… @erisenyo (i know youve been tagged but I know youve got more lines to share lol) @witchering10123 @y-s-t-v @somethingfoamy & reverse tag @transboysokka your turn, & anyone else who wants to play!

#sorry I havent been posting!#I take touch grass breaks haha #food for the soul!#but I will answer some asks tonight and hopefully finish editing this beast!#my 14k chapter went to 22k mehhhh… but I think y’all should enjoy #got some training and some market yippie #OH YEAH AND JEE POV #i love writing Jee pov he is so scrunchy #he actually has a decent time this chapter too #wow I think everyone has a good time haha #the cliffhanger will make you want to smack me im sure #hehehe #thanks for the tag!!#I love being tagged in stuff I feel so included #LIAB #ITF #ask game #leaving it all behind

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 6 months

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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

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