#as you can see I have Thoughts about helena diaz

[userautumn]

this fandom is annoying me so i'm going to say this once and then fuck off back to my shows.

on the topic of eddie's parents: helena has always treated eddie like he is an unfit parent. both of his parents have, but helena especially has led that charge. yes, his parents love him. i do not doubt that. but i said some weeks ago that i think helena/ramon would have been much happier raising eddie and chris as siblings rather than letting eddie be a father, and i stand by that. throughout the narrative, they have indicated time and time again that they think his choices are wrong—from their unwillingness to accept shannon fully, to coming outright and saying they think eddie is on a downward spiral and that he's going to crash and burn and take christopher with him. this is not an "Evil Parents" buddie conspiracy theory, this is a canon fact.

at every opportunity, helena especially has been trying to pry christopher away from his father. this is also a canon fact. in 2x18, after shannon's funeral, she tried to get eddie to bring chris (and himself, but eddie was most definitely the afterthought in that conversation) back to texas. in 4x14, eddie says to buck that his parents will fight for custody. and while eddie's relationship with his father has changed since the early seasons, this is still very much so a recurring theme in their dynamic.

so it stands to reason that helena would feel gleeful, or satisfied, or maybe even triumphant over the fact that she's finally gotten what she wanted. again, this isn't a headcanon, this is just common sense. she's been wanting chris back in texas for years, and now she's finally gotten her wish. i mentioned earlier that eddie himself is an afterthought in the conversation of the diaz boys' return to texas, and this remains true. helena favors christopher over her own son. this is also a canon fact. in 8x1, she sees her son sitting on camera at the saddest looking birthday party anyone's ever seen, and her response is "oh well! better luck next time! bye!" she doesn't offer to call him back later. she doesn't even look sad that he's sad. she simply continues about her day like her child is not suffering.

now, i still firmly believe that helena diaz loves her son. but if she has empathy for her him and the struggles he's facing—and has faced—she has yet to express it. this is also, unfortunately, canon.

having said that.

christopher is a teenager. he is not a little boy anymore. it was cute when he took an uber to buck's house because his dad made him mad, but this is quite a different situation. we've talked ad nauseam about the kim/shannon of it all because the trauma and betrayal of that is significant. but there are layers here. because it's not just that christopher thought his mom was back from the dead, it's also that eddie did what he (in christopher's mind) does best—he messed up a good thing right as christopher was getting to enjoy it.

9-1-1 is designed so that we, the viewers, are able to empathize with eddie's struggles. we're adults so, on average, we know why he makes the choices he makes and we can, on some levels, relate to them. even if we don't agree, we can understand the logic behind these choices. but christopher does not have the luxury of adulthood. and, if you put yourself in his shoes, his entire life since coming to los angeles has been extraordinarily unstable. some of these things were obviously outside of eddie's control, such as the tsunami and his dad getting shot. but they still happened.

so now, he is this fourteen year old kid who has lived through trauma after trauma, all the while witnessing his dad try to put himself back together after a lifetime of pain. and one of those ways eddie tries to put himself back together is by dating again. first, he dates ana and, objectively, ana was the perfect choice. she was smart. she was beautiful. she was good with kids. she was latina, which his parents/dad would have approved of, and christopher liked her very much. but then, just as it's getting good and looking real, eddie breaks up with her. again, we, the viewers, know why he did what he did. he was having panic attacks at the mere thought of being with her. but if you're christopher it looks like dad is pulling the plug on a good thing for no reason.

same as when eddie leaves the 118. we, adults, know eddie is struggling. hell, even christopher knows eddie is struggling. but we can understand the depths of the layers here. christopher didn't/doesn't. all he knew/knows is that, not only did his dad leave behind his job/his family/his stability, he did all that and cited him as the reason for that decision. which is why christopher said, "i never asked you to [leave the 118]." so now we fast forward to the present and we have eddie and this thing with marisol. they go on family outings, she moves in, and all these things start to feel like permanence. they start to feel like eddie has finally maybe gotten himself on solid ground and can start to enjoy his life again, or maybe for the first time.

and then he goes and cheats on marisol. with christopher's dead mom.

so we can see the multiple layers of this situation.

eddie loves his son, christopher loves his dad, and eddie diaz is a good parent. i will stand by that to the day i die, and all of these things are overwhelmingly evident. but that doesn't change the fact that the most stable home christopher has ever known is the home he lived in with his grandparents. which is sad. it's really sad to say, because we know eddie has tried so hard for that boy in so many ways. as a single parent, raising his kid to the best of his ability was so much more a full-time job than he was prepared for. but he did it. he strapped in and did the work of two people and, in doing so, it became imperative that, above all else, he gave his son a safe place to land and didn't give him reasons not to trust him because, at the end of the day, eddie is the only parent christopher has.

but eddie's broken that trust. and now, he has to live with the consequences. but let's be clear, the consequences in question are christopher's absence. helena's satisfaction over having chris in texas is an enormous insult to painful injury that must be addressed by the narrative if they ever want me to like her or believe she has eddie's best interests at heart. but this situation, in typical 9-1-1 fashion, is one in which multiple things can be, and are, true at the same time.

but relative to the matter of christopher and what he's "allowed" to do? eddie's lucky his son is even taking his calls, and he knows that. so he's going to continue to do the work to earn that trust back because he's never done anything but put in 1000% for his son. and that is also a canon fact.

[james-spooky]

Eddie Diaz and the Phenomenon of Queer Representation

A post to organise my thoughts ahead of the rest of the season and to really get this off my chest! (Spoilers for 9-1-1) (It’s long and I will inevitably have more thoughts about things I failed to mention)

Within queer representation in media, there’s a certain expectation that audiences have been conditioned to accept, including the omission of any representation at all. This has led to many non-canon ships being popularised in fandoms in an attempt to obtain agency surrounding queer media. One of these such head canons is Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1 who is largely speculated to be gay. This is sort of an essay and sort of me rambling on.

Picking up in Season 8, Episode 1, Eddie’s been trying for three months so keep his shit together and try to stay in contact with his son in the wake of the whole emotionally-cheating-with-the-doppelgänger-of-your-deceased-wife situation. I think the birthday zoom was really the beginning of his breakdown. To keep all of this inside him it way too much for someone to handle. He is going to break at some point with the stress. Not only that but as others have pointed out, Helena and Ramon are not actively participating in the reconnection of their son and their grandchild. This ties into their long-term goal which has been present across multiple seasons to be Christopher’s sole caregivers, without any acknowledgment of Eddie. To me it looks like he’s been trying to put on a brave face for his kid and sort of suppress everything (as he always does) to try and be a better father. But you can’t be that person if you’re not taking care of yourself; not necessarily “putting yourself first”, not in a selfish way but genuinely having self-love and a certain assuredness, something which Eddie doesn’t appear to have pinned down. I can definitely see him being introspective this season and forced to deal with quite literally everything that’s ever happened to him and to actually process that and who he really is. Ergo, realising his sexuality.

Tim said that the episode six thing was one of his favourite moments in the show, is actively excited for us to see it, is the episode where the “reason for the moustache” is “explicitly stated”; genuinely what else could this be other than gay Eddie. I cannot think of a reason personally. Other than “religion” which I don’t is a path they’d go down; I cannot come up with another reason for why they’re being so vague about it.

This is exactly the same thought process I went through pre-s7. I wrote down all my thoughts and analysis on those articles and Buck’s arc, coming to the conclusion that there could be no other outcome other than Buck being bisexual. Before s7 there were lots of articles about Buck and they all had that same sort of strange wording surrounding his storylines that season. E.G: “a season of self-discovery for Buck”, describing him getting off that “hamster wheel” of failed relationships. Whether or not you believe that he has achieved that is beside the point; the point is that, the vague quality to them which alluded his storyline going in a particular direction is happening yet again. Ryan has the exact same thing happening now, if not more with the majority of the season’s promo being his moustache. This is pattern recognition if I’ve ever seen it. Truly, due to the sheer amount of promo and interviews there have been, in my mind I don’t see another reason for why this would be, other than Eddie having a large and pivotal storyline this season.

It’s not just “about buddie”. When people pin down a character’s sexuality to purely the ship they’re in, it annoys me because it’s genuinely about the storyline and Eddies character arc. Yes, these headcanons have stemmed from the ship and obviously if they were to go down this route, the ship would most likely be a by-product of this discovery, but it’s not the priority. It may be an end goal, but what about the journey? It’s more than ship wars or trying to one up each other. For me personally, it would be so beneficial to his character to go in this direction. Not even just for his character but for the show and representation in general. What other show on a major network would have a character who’s been on the show for multiple seasons, had relationships with women, a wife, a child, religious traumas, PTSD, grief, catholic guilt and then having a gay awakening in their eighth season? None. How many have had strong platonic male relationships? A lot. Honestly, I don’t interact with those people who whittle down Eddie having a queer realisation or the possibility of Buddie being canon as “erasing platonic male friendships”. I simply don’t buy into that and my reaction towards those people who use that argument is just “Point me towards a show where (the written above happens)” and you can’t. Because it hasn’t happened. Not only that but queer ships in mainstream shows are notorious for “queer-baiting” and not “going canon”. I could name numerous shows where this has happened all to the dismay of a large percentage of the audience. In my experience in fandoms with popular queer ships, (majority mainstream shows with non-explicitly queer characters) I cannot think of a single time where they have been confirmed in canon. To me, this would be a huge step in the right direction for queer media as a whole. Of course, we cannot deny the massive impact that Buck being canonically bisexual last season has had and I commend ABC, the writers and Tim for bringing that to our screens. It was so heartfelt and truly amazing to watch. However, in terms of fandom and popular ships, it’s a little different. I’m in no way disregarding bi Buck, but rather exploring the impact that having a popular queer ship becoming canon would have on other media and the audience in general.

As queer audiences, we are so often let down with the directions that tv shows and film take in regard to their queer-coded characters. It’s become normalised to expect disappointment over seeing a popular pairing actually become “canon” within the text itself.

I’m aware that queer-baiting is definitely different than simply having queer-coded characters, however the two often come hand in hand. There is a misconception, in my opinion that “going woke is going broke”. I think that yes, having queer elements or characters in media definitely effect the reception and reaction, especially online from the general audience. This has happened time and time again and because the negative reaction is so loud, it drowns out any of the positive ones, forcing media companies to pull back in fear of losing money or audience. They want to be seen as “impartial” as a large percentage of audiences are bigoted but by removing any conversation surrounding queer representation in media, it immediately becomes biased and panders towards the people who shout the loudest. Queer people know all too well that on social media, it can be hard to avoid the rampant bigoted views that are shared so violently towards marginalised communities. Companies are so fearful of the backlash towards queer characters, that they won’t even have them at all, regardless of whether it would be classified as “good” or “positive” representation.

In my experience with fandoms with popular queer ships, when the show is still airing there’s this sense of hope that we cling to that it might “turn out different this time” and the character or characters might actually end up canonically queer or together. And every time, it ends the same. And even if they are confirmed queer, the “bury your gays” trope swoops in before it can truly be explored. As a collective, we tend to self-deprecate in order to deal with it but it’s actually quite a damaging thing. It reinforces the idea that queer characters and storylines are not of merit or valued in mainstream media. This turns into a vicious cycle of queer-coded characters staying queer-coded and never becoming canon as that’s how far the media company producing the show is willing to go. They are not willing to take it a step further and explicitly show queer characters having agency and a place in media as this will result in backlash. Additionally, even when we are given queer characters, a lot of the time there is a lack of depth or exploration of their queerness, almost as if it doesn’t exist. For example, Loki’s genderfluidity and bisexuality is canon and confirmed but a large amount of people who were invested in this, were disappointed to see it not having any effect on his storylines at all due to Marvel as a distribution company whose audience, or rather, targeted audience is largely cisgender, straight men. Therefore, queer audiences typically already have an expectation going into a show with a queer ship; it will most likely never happen. I’ve seen first-hand people who actively don’t partake in these shows in order to avoid being disappointed and it hurts me to think that queer people have obtained this way of thinking in regard to media. That we know it’s not going to happen so we either avoid it or watch it with the miniscule hope that something will happen. And even if it does, the show will most likely get cancelled after the first season in the name of “watch hours”, (despite how dedicated or prevalent the fandom may be, dead boy detectives, IANOWT, first kill etc.) once again solidifying the belief that queer characters or stories are not worth the time, money or value that heterosexual ones are. This causes queer media to have a lack of funding and marketing, essentially dooming them to crash and burn. It’s like building a house made of paper and then blaming the weather on its destruction.

So no, I don’t believe that “going woke is going broke” as I have personally indulged in many shows and films due to the sheer prospect that there might be a queer character or couple. Too many times, I’ve binged several seasons of a show (in an alarmingly short amount of time I may add) purely because there is a popular ship/one of the characters might be queer – emphasis on might. It is due to the fear of these media companies that queer shows and film are immediately disadvantaged straight out the gate. However, I do see there has been a change. Obviously, there are many popular queer shows that have been given chances such as Heartstopper and Interview With The Vampire. To me, this clearly shows that queer storylines and characters, showing diversity and marginalised communities does bring audiences and value (as we ourselves know) and it’s purely the skewed bigotry which overtakes the reception and influences the production of media.

Additionally, when bi Buck went canon, the sheer disbelief of queer audiences that it happened at all, to me showed the standards that we’re used to. We’re so used to not having that, that when it does happen, we’re actively surprised by it. Obviously, 9-1-1 in particular has showcased many queer characters before and continues to do so, however this was different as Buck was a previously established character for six seasons and so to have a sexuality arc for someone later in life was definitely a huge moment for bisexual representation in television.

For Eddie, if Tim is doing this storyline, he is right in the approach he’s taken. I’ve talked before about how they weren’t sure whether it was going to be Buck or Eddie having this queer storyline in Season 7… To me that’s basically confirmation of queer Eddie, right? Well, not necessarily “confirmation” but the fact that he was even considered at all for this storyline solidifies his queer-coding to me and that we aren’t all “delusional” for recognising it. I’ve said before but it makes so much sense for Buck to essentially “go first” by having him realise he’s bi and come out in S7 because it was a very different way of doing it, as you would have with Eddie. Buck is very sure of himself as a person and for him it’s something that was always there, but he never realised it and he’s quick to accept it! There’s no tortured Buck struggling with his sexuality (unless of course you count the basketball scene) it’s relatively smooth in the sense that he’s not having a breakdown over it; it’s just his relationship that’s rocky and provides those hurdles. This was refreshing to see as it can often be an expectation that the queer character in the show is negatively affected by their queerness. However, with Eddie, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have that arc in season 7 itself. Partly because it had 10 episodes which would not do it enough justice, and because Eddie already had a lot to unpack. For instance, his whole season 7 storyline was surrounding his deceased wife which was just the start of his journey. Even many seasons later, he is still grappling with the effects of his grief on him and Christopher. Everything is much deeply rooted in him, as is everything in his backstory.

His whole begins episode and all of the backstory we see of him, is him trying to be someone he’s not/who he thinks he should be. He was trying to be a big brother turned parent for his sisters when his parents wouldn’t. He’s trying to be a good father at nineteen, he’s trying to conform to the hegemonic standard of masculinity by marrying Shannon (pressured by the church as she got pregnant young) he enlists because he’s trying to provide for his family even though he doesn’t realise that it’s actually hurting them instead, he’s trying to keep custody of Chris from his parents who only see Chris as a “do-over” for Eddie. Eddie trying his best and get a job to provide for his son. Him doing anything his can for Chris. Shannon coming back, dating her again for Chris - despite the fact that Shannon wanted a divorce (and then died). Eddie dating Chris’ teacher who he loves but Eddie doesn’t. Again, for Chris. He’s always doing things for other people. His parents, Chris, his partners, but never for himself. We’ve seen him spiral before into his fighting arc; that was something he did for himself in a sense, but it was only because he didn’t know how to properly regulate all the pain and grief he was feeling! He’s a single father trying so hard to be the very best he can for everyone around him, to live up to “what it means to be a man” pushing down any emotionally vulnerability until he inevitably snaps. The church, his catholic guilt! This affects him in numerous ways - religious wiring quite literally effects the ways you think about everything and internalise the things that happen to you. Kim was something he did for himself, but it still tied to everything else and his grief. Because of all this, no wonder you wouldn’t be able to fit his gay awakening into a 10-episode season… Eddie requires more time and thought behind what he’s going to have to face and process by himself. For the first time, he is truly alone with his thoughts and is faced with who he is. Outside of his parents, outside of Chris, Shannon, the army, the church, the 118, he is discovering who he truly is, not what anyone else or any institution expects him to be. And this is why, it’s gonna take a lot out of him and is a much different storyline to the one that Buck went through.

Everyone’s sexuality realisation/coming out is different and I really can’t imagine Eddie going through the arc that Buck went through so I think it was a good decision to go with Buck for Season 7. Eddie has so much more to deconstruct and process in order to accept or even just realise his attraction to men, however that plays into his relationship with Buck. And even more so, his lack of attraction to women.

Honourable mention of “I’m broken. I’m broken and I can’t fix it,” being said in his conversation with Kim which is a heavily queer coded statement, as this is a concept that is frequent in the queer community of thinking you’re broken due to your identity. I’d genuinely be surprised if this is not the direction they’re going as there’s so many moments like this with Eddie across the seasons (cough dating feeling like a performance cough) especially this one, which just stand out and heavily resonate with queer audiences. I’d say if they don’t, it’s a huge missed opportunity and character assassination to be honest. I care so deeply about Eddie and he’s such a complex character, it annoyingly makes me mad when people undermine him or pin him down to one thing as if multiple things can’t be true at the same time. I know he’s a fictional character and in reality, it’s not that deep but when people undermine his queer-coding or deny it, it feels like denying a whole group of people’s experiences akin to his.

So, the “emotional reason” behind the moustache in my mind, would definitely link to the idea that Eddie has clung possibly extra hard to his perceived idea of what masculinity is to him/what it’s expected to be. Yes, the style of moustache is engrained in queer culture, but I think that it’s more so an accessory which he’s using to overcompensate for his queerness, (consciously or not). I’m relating this to one of my favourite queer films, Maurice, as in that movie facial hair, specifically moustaches play a significant role in displaying the characters attitudes towards their queerness without explicitly saying them. Maurice and Clive both go through phases of having a moustache, with Maurice first when he is in a period of reluctance towards his sexuality. He’s the more accepting of the two, so it doesn’t last long. However, as Maurice moves out of this phase and begs Clive to stay with him and be together, Clive transitions into that position and denies Maurice’s claims that they could be happy somewhere together. He clings to the traditional ideals of marriage and heterosexuality, as is the norm in 1910’s England, trying to bring an end to the whole affair. Later, when Clive announces he’s engaged to be wed to a woman, he has a moustache and continues to have this moustache for the rest of the film, showing how he’s never going to accept himself for who he is, and is using this to conceal his emotions. The moustache here, represents hiding your true self and repressing your desires, acting as a “mask”. This to me, is very reminiscent of how Eddie appears with his moustache, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up with the same metaphorical reasoning.

In the first episode (the only episode that’s currently out), we saw that Gerrard approves of his moustache, himself being the typical masculine archetype that Eddie may believe himself to be or believes that he should be. Not that Eddie wants to be like Gerrard; of course not, he’s a bigot. It’s that portrayal of masculinity which ties into how he was brought up, and the ideals of the catholic church surrounding gender roles and sexuality. I thought this direct comparison was interesting between them as Eddie is definitely doing this for approval if not from others, but from himself that “this is who he is” when in reality it’s not. In my interpretation, the fact that they’ve specifically mentioned episode six as when he shaves off the moustache and has this physical manifestation of his inner demons, screams to me a queer arc for Eddie. I think there is so much potential for his character and storyline, not just for the ship he’s involved in but for himself and everyone who sees themselves in Eddie.

In conclusion, I really hope they go down this route and if they don’t, once again, it will be a huge, missed opportunity and I wouldn’t be certain where they’d go with his character if not there. This was just a chance for me to get my thoughts out, ahead of the upcoming episodes and I really hope we get to see a positive outcome for his character, whatever route they take.

[swiftiefirefighters]

the one thing that just makes me feral is when people imply that eddie doesn’t care about christopher and never considers him about any decision he ever makes when actually part of the problem is that at times he considers christopher to a fault and to his own detriment. he has made one shitty, horrible, selfish decision in like 5 years (bc i can’t ignore fight club arc, obviously) and it blew up in his face. my man saw a woman who looked exactly like his dead wife and idk WHO would act normally in that scenario, but having a little insanity about it probably makes him a bad boyfriend but NOT a bad man and definitely not a bad father.

this is not me saying chris doesn’t have the right to be angry. he does. i do think it’s been 3 months and at this point what is going on in el paso that he still won’t say 2 words to his father and i think eddie’s parents can shoulder some of the blame for continuing the cycle of diazes just running away from their problems instead of trying to face them.

i saw someone say that eddie hadn’t even tried with his son. that he hadn’t been genuine or vulnerable and that is just. he literally knelt on the ground in front of him heart open and said you are my son and i love you and you can always come home i will always love you. what more could you ask for with vulnerability. we don’t know what has happened in these three months. i don’t think a silly little party is the only contact he’s tried to make. it was just his latest attempt. it’s clear apologies aren’t working. it’s clear chris doesn’t want an explanation. so what is he going to do besides continue to show chris that he’s here even if chris doesn’t want to hear it.

and let’s be real. helena has thought from day one eddie was unfit to raise christopher on his own. this has just given her true ammo to feel like she’s right. who knows what she’s saying, maybe not even directly to chris, but where chris can hear, about BOTH of his parents because she hated shannon too. as someone with a shitty manipulative grandmother who did something very similar to my own mom with my old brother i just feel like even if she doesn’t realize it she is not even trying to do what’s best for ANYONE in this situation except for herself.

anyway, tldr, eddie diaz is a good man and a good father and he loves his son more than anything in this entire god damn world. he said years ago he would fight for him and he’s doing it in the best way he knows how - by showing his son he’s still there.

my man fucked up. he went a little insane and did some messy dumb shit. but he is NOT a bad person and fucking up doesn’t make you a bad parent. i can’t help but wonder if that’s part of the problem tho. that now chris has to see his dad as a human who fucks up and not just a hero who saves people. and that’s a hard fucking lesson to learn.

[this-is-moony-lovegood]

Just watched a buddie edit to Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan, and I’m sitting here thinking of a plot line where Buck goes by himself to get Chris.

Like Eddie is suffering back in LA and Buck is like fuck it I’m bringing Chris home because Eddie doesn’t deserve this shit. So he gets in his Jeep and he drives 800 miles to El Paso and he shows up at Helena and Ramon’s house to get Christopher. And Helena and Ramon try to fight him on this of course and Buck is chewing them out for trying to keep Chris even thought this was supposed to be temporary and all they’re doing is pushing the narrative that Eddie’s a shitty father and that Chris should stay in El Paso permanently. And Chris wakes up and sees Buck and rushes out to him and is so scared he’s here alone because Eddie is hurt or dead, and Buck just tells him that Eddie is physically okay but it’s time for Chris to come home. Buck tells him that even if he isn’t ready to stay at the Diaz house that he can stay at the loft with him, or Buck will move into the Diaz house to be a barrier if that’s what Chris wants but he needs to be back in LA. Obviously Buck is desperate but he’s also being parental, and Chris immediately goes to pack his shit so they can go home. Once against Helena and Ramon try to fight him on it, but Buck whips out the will card and says that even if Eddie is “unfit to be a parent right now” like they say, that responsibility actually goes to Buck not them and they have a problem with that they can contact his lawyer who will promptly tell them to “fuck off”.

Then, you get the drive back to LA where Chris and Buck have a full on heart to heart about Eddie. Buck talks to Chris about how his dad knows he messed up and has been trying to work on himself to fix it, but he can’t get any better with Chris if Chris isn’t willingly to put in the effort on his end. And a Chris talks about his grief over his mom and how that’s something he thought he could handle until little things keep pulling him back in like the dating plot in season 7, and obviously the Kim situation. So, Buck suggests they go the route of talking about Shannon and what Chris remembers so they spend some time talking about her in the car. The talk about her leaving (on her own and her death), and how no one will ever replace her in his life (and how he feels like his dad has been trying to do that when he dates, but all it doesn’t bring up more trauma when they break up and they leave). “I wish dad could see that he doesn’t need to replace mom in my life. I already have two parents: dad and you.” To which Buck has to pull the car over because he’s gonna lose it at his kid calling him a parent for the first time. “You, me, and dad are already a family. Why can’t both of you just understand that the three of us is all we need?” Which gets them on the topic of implying that Buck and Eddie would be dating/married for it to solely be the three of them (and a reminder that Buck has a boyfriend), to which Chris just tells him that he already knows they’re in love with each other, so why can’t they be honest about it and have dad stop dating women and Buck break up with Tommy. Which has Buck’s head spinning because, “your dad is straight, Chris” to which Chris says, “So were you four months ago, Buck. Look what happened?” And now Buck is spiraling once again because holy shit he’s in love with Eddie and maybe, just maybe Eddie’s in love with him too.

When they stop for a bathroom break Buck calls and breaks up with Tommy. Tommy knows exactly what’s happening the moment he answers, and tells him it was only a matter of time until Buck figured it out.

They get back to LA and pull up to the Diaz house. Eddie hasn’t heard from Buck is like four days so he’s been worrying because he called out of work and he never does that, but all of his words die on his tongue the moment he sees Chris. And Chris, who has barely spoken to him in the past four months barrels his way into Eddie’s arms. And Eddie breaks down crying at getting his son back. “What are you doing here? How are you here?” And Chris replies with, “Buck came and got me. He told me it was time to come home.” And Eddie just takes a moment to think that over, lets Chris go and throws himself into Buck’s arms for a massive hug. And Eddie is practically sobbing into his chest repeating “thank you” on a loop. And Buck who is an empathetic crier, just tells him, “you know I’d do anything for our family, Eds.”

They don’t kiss or anything, but Buck and Chris make eye contact over Eddie’s shoulder with a silent agreement that they’re going to figure this out. And when Eddie is ready, the three of them are going to officially be a family.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞 I will give you $5 if you let me fight helena diaz

162 or 1k for 🪞 - whatever comes first! And you can fight her for free!

---

Christopher’s face goes completely blank for a moment. Buck feels the temperature drop in the room. 

Chris turns to Eddie. “I want to go home.”

Buck feels stricken. 

“Christopher,” Eddie pleads. “We’re not done with dinner, it’s rude to go.”

“I don’t want to be here,” he says, sneering at Dove a little. 

“Good!” Dove snaps back. “I don’t like you!” 

“Dove!” Buck scolds. “That’s very rude.”

“I really don’t care,” Chris replies, ignoring Buck entirely. 

But it’s clear that he does. He cares about something here a whole lot. 

Buck looks at Eddie. He looks like he’s on the verge of having a panic attack. He doesn’t know how to handle this situation without upsetting Christopher further, and he’s not ready to do that yet. Well, guess what? Buck doesn’t mind. 

“Switch,” Buck says to him. 

“What?” Eddie asks. 

“Switch with me,” Buck says, nodding at Dove. 

Eddie furrows his brows, unsure. 

“Trust me,” Buck says. 

He’s got this. 

Eddie nods a little. 

Buck turns to Christopher. “Why don’t you and I talk privately?”

Christopher frowns. “I just want to leave.”

Buck shakes his head. 

“We talk first,” Buck says firmly. 

Chris narrows his eyes. He’s not sure how much Buck will push. Buck thinks Chris probably knows Eddie is willing to do a lot to keep the fragile peace between them. He probably thinks Buck won’t test it either. But Buck thinks he’s going to have to. 

“Fine,” Christopher grits out.

Eddie looks surprised but relieved. 

Buck nods. He turns to Dove, who looks on the verge of angry tears herself. 

“I’ll be right back,” he says. “Listen to Eddie.”

▪️▪️▪️

Chris and Buck sit side-by-side on Buck’s front stoop. Chris looks anywhere but at Buck. His arms are crossed tightly. His jaw is locked in a stubborn set he inherited directly from Eddie. Like a fortress of bone and muscle tissue, all living under his skin. And the drawbridge is up. 

Or at least it appears that way. It appears that he doesn’t want to hear what Buck has to say. But Buck doesn’t think that’s true. 

“I don’t think you’re really mad about the zoo or my new place,” Buck starts them off. 

“Yes,” Chris retorts. “I am.”

Buck sighs. “I’m sorry if you thought everything would be the same when you chose to come home, but it isn’t. I can see why that would suck.”

Christopher’s breath stutters for a second. Like maybe he didn’t expect Buck to hit the nail on the head. He finally looks at Buck, eyes welling with tears a little. He rolls his eyes. Not at Buck, but just… Generally. 

“It’s stupid,” he mutters. 

“It’s not,” Buck replies. “But why don’t you tell me about it instead of arguing with a six year-old?”

Chris exhales heavily. “I just wanted him to feel bad about what he did.”

“He does,” Buck replies. “Believe me. He does.”

“I know,” Chris says. ‘I know, and when I realized that he’s just kind of… He’s just kind of sad… I felt really bad.”

Buck’s throat tightens. Just kind of sad. The whole notion of Chris perceiving his father that way makes Buck want to puke. 

“Christopher-”

“But by the time I wanted to come home, it was too late.”

“Too late for what?” Buck asks. 

“You got Dove,” Christopher rolls his eyes. 

“And you think that had something to do with you being in Texas?” Buck asks. 

“Well, wasn’t it?” Chris demands. “You took her to the zoo! Dad loves her! She’s like… The good kid.”

Buck shakes his head. 

“Oh boy. Okay. Can I tell you something, and you promise not to repeat it in front of her? She’s too little to hear it. But I think you’re old enough.”

This seems to appease Chris the slightest bit. He looks curious. 

“Okay,” he says. 

“I met Dove the day she was born,” Buck says. 

Christopher scrunches his face a little. “Really?” 

Buck nods. “It was the January before I met you and your dad, actually. I was brand new at the 118.”

“Her birth was an emergency?” Chris asks.

Buck shakes his head. 

“Not the birth itself but… Her mother was very young. A teenager. Dove was born premature. She was so small. And her mother, scared I guess… Chris you cannot repeat the part.”

“I won’t!” Chris promises. 

Maybe Buck is insane for sharing this. Oh well.

“She flushed her down the toilet of her apartment building,” Buck says. 

Christopher’s jaw drops. “What?” 

Buck nods. “Yep. It was pretty horrible.” 

“But you guys saved her?”

“We did,” Buck agrees. “And I held her, and I promised her she’d be okay, and then we took her to the hospital, and I didn’t see her again for over six years. And in that time, she was placed with social services, and no one ever adopted her.”

“Oh,” Chris replies. “That’s sad.”

“Yeah,” Buck agrees. “So, when I met her again, and realized who she was, I thought… I have to do something. Someone had to step up for her.”

Chris nods. Like it’s beginning to make sense. 

“And you know what? I’m really glad I did.” Buck explains. “Because I love her very much.”

“That’s good,” Chris whispers. 

“But,” Buck says. “There wasn’t a second of her being here, and you being gone, that I didn’t miss you, too.”

Chris looks at him. “Really?”

“Really,” Buck replies. “And same with your dad, okay?”

Chris sighs. “Sorry, Buck. I didn’t know that happened to her. Dad didn’t say.”

“Hey, that’s okay,” Buck replies. “I know you’re also probably tired and emotionally drained. It’s been a big week. I get it.”

“Yeah,” Chris agrees. “It really has.”

“But can I ask you a favor?” 

“What favor?” Chris asks. 

“Can you go in there and make nice with her? For me?”

Chris wrinkles his nose. “I don’t know, Buck. She doesn’t like me either.” “Well, Chris, once again… She’s six. And you’re pretty much a young man, right?”

[911is]

My thoughts on the Diaz mostly Helena and Eddie's relationship.

____________________________________

I think the reason why Eddie’s parents especially Helena are so hard on him and so neglectful towards how is he and his feelings. Is because Eddie has always been around Helena; there has probably never been a moment where kid Eddie and Helena were separated. This makes Eddie biased and a mama's boy (at that age) and probably up until they took Chris.

But yeah yeah it’s always been Eddie and his mom together, which means Eddie had noticed his dad wasn’t around a lot and just unconsciously stepped into this role of being everything his mom needed, so that means helping around the house and just being an all around good kid for her. Obviously he got to do kid things; but the older he got the more he picked up on just be there and taking care of his mother.

So you have a barely present father and it’s you and your mom in this house together and Eddie is a person who’s always been anybody else but himself for other people. And this is where it starts.

And now Eddie’s got a new sibling on the way and his dad is telling him “step up and be a man” and Eddie is no longer having a sense of self; he’s a Son, he’s going to be a brother and now he needs to be a man. So the feeling of taking care of his mother grows and Helena is no longer seeing Eddie as a kid, she’s starting to see him as a person she can rely on.

( I don’t know how far apart in age the three of them are)

Helena has Adriana and Ramon isn’t there but Eddie was and his first thought was that he needed to get his mom to the hospital quickly. So what he does is he gets into his father car and tries to pull it around for his mom to get in. But since he’s a literal kid and doesn’t know how to drive he crashes the car. And when his dad finally gets back and sees that he doesn’t think good job for trying son; it’s probably what were you thinking and you’re grounded.

And the same thing with Sophia Ramon isn’t there in the beginning of it; he literally says in a episode I wasn’t there in the beginning but I made i always make it to the best part which Is the baby is born and he gets to hold them. but more than likely Eddie was there during the start.

And then Ramon was probably off again which left Eddie with Helena and his two sisters. And Eddie’s taking more of a caring role: he’s making his sisters breakfast probably because Helena is too tired and he’s probably helping out more around the house than usual cause his father can’t/isnt.

So once again Eddie isn’t seen as a little boy in his parent's eyes now, especially Helena. He's her rock, her little man, and her biggest helper. She more than likely relies on him to be that for her.

So now Eddie's this adultifed kid that mom leans on and he's seen even more as an adult at eighteen; becuse now Eddie has Chris and now it solidified what Helena and Ramon already made Eddie out to be a Man a adult.

So Helena can't be more sensitive towards Eddie because its set in her mind Eddie should know better and do better by now.

And I haven't gotten into the fact that maybe she and Ramon probably sees Chris as a second chance to raise a kid in their own vision.

Helena especially, this is my opinion that she sees Chris the way she never got to see Eddie.

A kid that she can baby a son that needs her that relies on her. She wants to right a wrong, it is why she was so adamant about getting Eddie and Chris to stay out in El Paso with her and Ramon.

And I can honestly go on about this in more detail but I won't cause this post is already too long.

[lemotmo]

Some thoughts and ruminations on episode 5 of 911

Just finished watching the episode and I have notes upon notes upon notes to talk about.

Overall, this episode was soooo incredibly overhyped by everyone. The way Oliver, Tim, the journalists talked about it? I expected greatness. But it was just all right. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. It felt very much like a filler episode. There were a few hints at how the storylines will progress, but nothing major.

With that out of the way, let’s dive into this episode from beginning to end. Yep, I’m tackling this one chronologically.

I'm cutting it here to not attack anyone's dashboard.

The Henren drama seemed to come out of nowhere for this episode. I get why they did it. It was basically to foreshadow the Denny drama. But Karen has always supported Hen when it comes to her very demanding job. It was just weird to me to see them having this discussion.

I was sooo annoyed during that classroom scene with Athena. Why are those kids on their phones during class? And why didn’t the teacher react? She just sat there and accepted? Come on! Where’s your professionalism and authority? You are the teacher! Act like one and take those phones away.

Sorry about this rant, but I work in education and in our school phones simply aren’t allowed. They are locked away at the beginning of the day and in the afternoon the students get their phones back when they go home. Simple as that. If I see someone with their phone during the day? I take it off them and they can come get it at the end of the day.

The haunted house set up and scenes were great. I loved Eddie opening up to Hen and Chim about Chris. They’re both parents, they get it. They understand how hard it is when kids grow up and stop believing in things like Santa or start thinking how Halloween is cringe.

Still, I find it interesting that Eddie mentions his mother in this. He mentioned that his mom told him he doesn’t want to go trick or treating anymore. Once again Helena Diaz pops up in the narrative as the bearer of bad news. They are clearly setting something up there. The whole conversation about:

“You never know when a door is gonna close and when it does then…”

Clear foreshadowing! I just need Eddie to fly to Texas and get Chris back at this point. Bring him home!

The haunted house scenes themselves are so good! I love Bobby as a vampire! His voice was so good. And I love how Hen and Chim genuinely scared those kids and lame ass Eddie in his lame ass werewolf costume doesn’t even phase them. Again, kids saw him as ‘cringe’. The same word Chris used when talking about Halloween. Interesting.

The whole Billy Boils mummy scene was hilarious. Buck pulling off that arm and screaming out loud: “He’s real!” was perfection. This is one Halloween these kids will never forget.

Loooove how Buck handed Eddie the lube to get that pumpkin off the guy’s head. I know it didn’t mean anything special, but it was just so funny.

I don’t understand why they didn’t just use that little cutting device on the pumpkin from the beginning? Why bother with the lube and the pulling when you can just cut if off?

And then of course Buck slips. Of course…

The hospital scene is like a gift that keeps on giving.

Eddie is sat in that chair and he clearly isn’t going anywhere. The fact that he stuck around in the hospital for Buck is remarkable. Buck isn’t injured all that badly. Eddie probably has to go back to his job, right? But instead he sticks around.

Then Tommy comes in with a visitor badge and instead of Eddie leaving the room because Buck won’t be alone anymore, he just keeps on sitting in that chair paging through that magazine. When you think about it… that is an insane thing for the show to do. Why didn’t Eddie leave Buck in the capable hands of his boyfriend so he could go back to work?

As for Tommy. Not going to lie. I didn’t mind him all that much in this scene. He obviously still doesn’t know Buck very well. He seemed lost when Buck started talking about curses and things.

Also, there was such a noticeable lack of romantic energy. There was no quick hug or kiss or even him sitting down on the bed, holding his hand or something like that. I mean, he rushed over after his shift which is sweet, but why did he rush over? To any outsider looking in there wouldn’t be any noticeable difference between Tommy or Eddie.

Is it just me or does Eddie seem more sarcastic in this episode? I wonder if that’s a conscious thing they’ve written in to show Eddie is struggling with Christopher’s absence or if it’s just a problem with continuity in writing?

Anyway, Tommy and Eddie laughing at Buck for his wild theory isn’t all that surprising. It is quite an outlandish theory and frankly, I probably would have reacted in a similar vein. I probably wouldn’t have burst out in laughter, but I would have definitely giggled. It’s nothing new. The show has done this before. Buck goes down the rabbit hole, creates a theory and the others look on amused at his antics. I feel like this is the vibe they were going for here, but it didn’t fully work because I do think they both laughed a little too much and too hard.

There was this short line of dialogue where Buck said ‘Oh, there’s a twist,’ and the camera focused on Eddie as he put the magazine away and started listening to Buck. The thing that went through my mind was that Eddie is quite the twist in this story all right. A little bit of foreshadowing perhaps? I don’t know. I’m probably projecting!

The loft scene with Tommy was interesting as well. First of all, Tommy was very sweet there in the beginning. I like how he cares enough to adjust his pillow and stuff. But then he once again showed little interest in Buck’s descent into the whole Billy Boils saga. And why was he sleeping on the couch? Buck has a whole bed upstairs. Did he want to keep Buck company so he could help him out if he needed assistance? It’s possible.

I have to admit though… I giggled so hard when he lied down on the couch Buck had bought with Nathalia.

But all of this brings me back to the same question: Where’s the romance?

It felt like another scene between two friends. If anything, the energy I’m getting from Buck right now is that he’s really not all that interested in Tommy. I’m starting to wonder now if the novelty of a new love has worn off, if Buck will come to the realisation next episode or even the one after that he doesn’t want to go on with Tommy at all. That his romantic feelings were very much projected on Tommy because the man was interested and opened up an entire new world of possibilities for him. But now that it’s been a few month, the rose coloured glasses are coming off and he’ll realise they don’t have a lot in common and he just isn’t all that interested in him.

I get the same vibe from Tommy to be honest. Why are they even together? What is their reason to stay together? They’re both comfortable around each other, so that’s nice I guess, but where’s the romance? You know?

I’m thinking so many thoughts right now, but I really think that their breakup will be mutual and they’ll decide they’re better off as friends.

The breakfast scene was priceless. Once again, Tommy bringing Buck some breakfast was sweet, but that’s where it ended. He visibly recoiled when he saw those boils on Buck’s face.

And then of course, Eddie comes back into the picture. It always comes back to Eddie, Eddie, Eddie when there’s a BT scene.

There was a whole discussion going on between Buck and Eddie and Tommy just sat there, telling ‘Evan’ to listen to the medic. Eddie wasn’t recoiled by Buck’s appearance and came over to help him out. He literally just dropped everything and came over. I mean…

Then Eddie tries to talk some sense into Buck and Tommy tells him to listen to Eddie. Sorry, but Tommy the plot device was plot devicing hard in this scene.

I’m kinda sad they dropped the handshake. I know it was for a silly bet, but I would have liked to see it in the episode. You could see Eddie reaching for him, but then it changed to another scene.

When I tell you I burst out into laughter as soon as Tommy revealed he has an accountant cousin!🤣 How much do we wanna bet that this accountant cousin just happens to work on the ‘Hotshots’ show? Maybe they’ll even have some inside information from that set.

Josh with the moustache!!! Three people with moustaches in this episode. Gay Josh, bisexual Buck and (fill in the blank) Eddie????

I loved the scene with the crazy Halloween calls so much! ‘Werewolves of London’ was such a fitting song here.

All right, then comes the part I really didn’t like at all. I mean… listen, I love drama as much as anyone, okay? I cried when I saw Denny and when he flatlined I went a little nuts. So, there’s nothing wrong with scenes like that in a procedural show like 911. I do however have a problem with the fact that -once again- it’s Henren that get this trauma thrust upon them.

LEAVE HENREN ALONE! LEAVE THEIR KIDS ALONE! Please I’m begging you!

The scenes were great and Aisha and Tracie acted the f*ck out of it, but it’s too much kids drama for them.

I did like Buck asking Bobby if Hen should be there and Bobby’s response to that. Bobby knows what it’s like to lose a child. He wasn’t going to tell Hen to back off.

I loved how they showed Eddie in the middle of this again. He was once again being a competent medic. They keep showing up competent Eddie. I wonder why that is? Something big is coming for him. I can feel it.

And Eddie’s face when Denny died was very telling. Something about ‘not being there when the big moments happen.’ Yeah, something big is going to happen to Eddie, for sure.

That brings us to the hospital scene.

I’ve noticed that we got a lot of romantic affection between Bathena and even Henren in this episode. In the beginning Athena kisses Bobby when she leaves after the mummy is discovered. In the hospital scene they are holding hands and sitting close together. Henren have that lovely photoshoot, the shared emotional scenes when they’re trying to save Denny and at the end that beautiful talk between them at Denny’s hospital bed.

Then there’s Tommy. He hands Buck a coffee, which again… very sweet. But where’s the rest of it? Why is there no handholding or sweet affection? Instead we got more Eddie. This time Eddie was sitting right opposite Buck, sucking on a lollipop. I mean… what??? I’m sorry! Am I not supposed to read anything into that? Clearly a choice was made there. They wanted Ryan to sit opposite Oliver and suck on a popsicle. That choice was written in the script and filmed. You know???

Then they get a message in the group chat that Denny’s okay. Tommy’s remark about how it’s a beautiful thing to have a crew behind you was the thing that made Buck realise how to break the curse. Plot device was plot devicing again.

And why was there a need to show us Eddie’s reaction to Buck exclaiming that he had found a way to break the curse? Eddie is truly involved in all things BT. So much foreshadowing.

This brings me to the graveyard scene. It was sweet how Buck wanted to honour Billy by giving him a proper burial. It also gave us Buck in a suit. I’m not complaining.

When Buck monologued, Tommy looked over to him and there was this shot of him looking very concerned. I wonder what that was about.

The montage was nice. The way Buck said that people make life worth living (and yes, he looks over at Tommy for a second, but he’s also talking about his family and how they all belong together, so don’t overthink this) and how it’s one of the worst things to have to go through life alone? I cried so hard when they showed Eddie. I swear to God, I feel this man so much. I can feel him in my bones. There is so much of him that I recognise in me. There’s a reason why he’s my favourite character.

And yes, Tommy was there in the graveyard scene, but he was waaaay in the back, still afraid to even stand next to him and apparently afraid to kiss his boyfriend. He denied it, but his last comment ‘Please lift it!’ clearly showed that he was still weirded out by the boils. That comment was very jarring somehow. The show tried to show us Tommy’s sweeter side, but then they destroyed it all by giving him one single line in the end that clearly shows us that he isn’t all in when it comes to Buck.

Random thought: What’s with the excessive use of ‘Evan’ by Tommy? It was very obvious this episode. There were so many ‘Evan’ mentions. I know Lou said that he wasn’t allowed to call him Buck, but this was a lot. It was Evan this, Evan that… I wonder if it has any meaning?

So yeah, there you have it: my thoughts. I don’t know why they called this one ‘Masks’. It had nothing to do with masks, not even metaphorical. It was just about Buck’s boils apparently. And maybe a smidgen of both Buck and Tommy wearing the mask of ‘boyfriend’ while they only truly showed them as friends?

I’m intrigued by the episode 6 promo. What do you mean it’s a rehash of Eddie begins? I really hope that the promise of this being a big Eddie episode is true. They advertised episode 5 to be a big Buck episode and while he had his moments, there have been better and bigger Buck episodes for sure.

But I need episode 6 to be a big Eddie episode. One where he struggles with his loneliness and with Chris being gone. I need to see that man go through it. And no, just like I’ve been saying, I don’t expect Eddie to leap out of that closet next episode. He will eventually, but first I need him to think about his life so far and his relationships. I need him to get a sense of direction and I hope Buck will be there for him as he tries to navigate life. I then need him to hop on a plane to get his son back. It’s time!

One more thing I want to add: Remember that this was only episode 5! We've got lots more to come. So just hang in there. I told you guys yesterday that I expected this episode would end on a good note for BT. It wasn't unexpected, but this doesn't mean anything. Bucktaylor were an actual couple that kissed and moved in together, but they still broke up in the end. So yeah, keep this in mind, will you? 🙂‍↕️

[canonicallyobserving911]

Eddie Diaz's "Ghost of a Second Chance"

IMO, in 7x7, Eddie Diaz will have a chance to see or hear how the life he always believed he was "supposed" to have with a wife and kids is not the life he's been WANTING. Based on his heart eyes and the way he's used Chris as a shield for his heart, his ideal life includes a husband (Buck) and their son (Chris).

Be clear, I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!

I waited to post this because when season 7 started, it was unclear where the show was going to take Eddie's storyline and it appears the redirection of it that happened prior to 7x4 and 7x5 was not the original plan since it's been confirmed via interviews that Eddie was supposed to be with T*mmy instead of Buck. Also, now that it's confirmed Shannon Diaz will make a return in a future season 7 episode as either a ghost or a hallucination or whatever for Eddie, I decided I was ready to post this.

At the end of season 6 when Eddie asked Maris*l out on a date, I thought about the way the narrative has always shown Shannon is the only person who can help Eddie understand Chris doesn't need another mother. He's been carrying the weight and guilt of their relationship around with him for years because he thought him going to the Army broke her when in fact, they were two broken teenagers who were in over their heads and they were so busy trying to mimic the lives they saw Eddie's parents living that they never discussed what either of them wanted out of life.

Unpopular Opinion: Eddie and Shannon were NOT this perfect high school aged Romeo and Juliet type of romantic couple some people keep trying to make them out to be because the truth is they weren't soulmates and they weren't compatible. While it's true they were best friends, they were never on the same page and they didn't know how to communicate. Instead of talking to each other, all they did was argue and have sex but matured relationships consist of more than just sex, hence the 7x5 depiction of Eddie's relationship with Maris*l. They don't know each other and the episode title, "You don't know me" confirmed it.

Full Disclosure: I'm not a Shannon Diaz fan and it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH BUDDIE! It's strictly because she ABANDONED Chris, her biological son and the fact that she was a teen mother doesn't have anything to do with it because it does NOT excuse her behaviors. Teenage girls who were/are younger than her don't/didn't run out on their kids just because they need/needed time. If she didn't want to be with Eddie anymore that's fine but to leave and not attempt to contact her son for almost two years was NOT ok. She wrote Chris a letter that she wasn't even sure she would send but what happened to a phone call or her sending him a "Hey Chris, I love you and I miss you" email? Even back then there were too many ways she could have contacted him but the CANON FACTS are SHE CHOSE NOT TO. If Eddie wouldn't have called her to interview at Durand she would have stayed gone. Don't get it twisted because she was getting ready to leave Chris again so people should stop romanticizing their relationship and truthfully, so does Eddie. For CANON proof of these claims, all viewers have to do is LISTEN to the things she said to him in 2x17 when they were at the beach and when they were at the restaurant.

Eddie's my favorite character but he's not blameless in any of this either and by his own admission to Buck in 2x10, he left them first. But the difference is he made the DECISION to leave El Paso so he could provide a better life for him and his son even though his toxic mother, Helena (I'm not including Ramon because he had a redemption arc) offered to take Chris from him. He could have left Chris there but HE DIDN'T. He even told Shannon that being Chris' father taught him more about being a man than war ever could.

One last thing, Shannon and Maddie ARE NOT THE SAME! Maddie didn't abandon Jee-Yun, she left because she thought she was a danger to her and she went to get help. She wasn't in Boston galivanting around, shopping and partying like it was 1999, she went to a center for women to figure out what was wrong with her and why she felt like she did then she continued with therapy.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program...

While I don't like Shannon's actions, I do believe she's probably the only person who can help Eddie understand that he doesn't have to marry a "woman" to be happy. Why do I believe this? Well, they were best friends and they were married which means she knows things about Eddie that no one else does. She was the first woman he "pulled" away from and since they were separated for a long time while he was in the Army and after she left them, it's likely she figured some things out about what he really wants that neither of them was ready to confront.

Since 2x1, Eddie's story has been told in bits and pieces and while a lot of people romanticized what he had with her, I didn't because they were young and neither one of them knew what they wanted. Did he love her? He said he did but IMO he loved her as much as an 18-year-old could but I don't believe he was in love with her. Did she love him? She said she did but just like him, based solely on her actions, she didn't know what love was either.

Reminder, the only reason Eddie proposed they reconcile in 2x17 was because she thought she was pregnant again. He said he was looking for a sign and he thought her begin pregnant was it but before that he didn't want to do it. If you don't believe it, rewatch 2x17 and LISTEN to the conversation he had with Bobby. Bobby was the one who told him he would be a great dad to a second child but Eddie wasn't so sure. At dinner, when Shannon said, "I'm not pregnant", he paused then responded, "That doesn't change anything" but she rebutted with, "It does for me".

It appears she finally admitted to him that the life they were trying to live was NOT the one either of them wanted but he wasn't ready to admit it. He was using Chris as a shield like he always does and he was hoping her love for their son would be enough for them to reconcile and continue doing whatever they were doing. He said something similar to Ana when he broke up with her in 5x3. He said, "Chris loves you so much" but he never said he did and now he's trying to figure out where Maris*l fits since she babysat twice while he was flying in helicopters going to fight matches in Las Vegas and to karaoke with TK.

Believe it or not, Shannon was getting ready to leave again. If she wasn't then she wouldn't have brought up the letter she wrote to Chris. Also, she said she was still learning how to be someone's mother (notice she didn't say Chris' mother she said someone's) and she said maybe someday, she could learn how to be somebody's wife (not Eddie's wife but somebody's). Furthermore, when they were at the beach, she asked Eddie, "Is that all I am to you, Christopher's mother?" but he responded, "Shannon?" and deflected the conversation. Then she said if that's what it is then it's ok. She proceeded and asked him what he wanted and all he said was "All of this" with a hand wave out towards the ocean. He never admitted what he wanted and it appears the reason was because he didn't want to say.

In 2x7, while they were arguing, Eddie asked her, "What didn't I give you?" and her response was "You!" Therefore, Eddie always kept a piece of himself away from her and she admitted it to him but he wanted it to work probably for the wrong reasons.

REMINDER: In 2x17, Shannon was the one who said they needed to get a DIVORCE! She knew they needed to move on but Eddie was the one who said, "But we're still married". It appears he was the one trying to hold onto the life he believed they were supposed to have and I think it goes back to the example he saw from his parents.

Here's the thing, in 6x16, Eddie admitted he didn't propose to Shannon, he just said, "Let's get married" after they found out she was pregnant. They were best friends in high school and they started an instant family that neither of them were ready for. When she abruptly died, he didn't have a chance to discuss all the things they'd left unsaid. That's why Shannon has to be the one to tell him that it's ok for him to want who he wants. Who's that? BUCK!

Shannon vs. Buck

Please understand the show has illustrated it time and time again that Eddie wants to marry Buck so they can raise Chris together. If that wasn't the case, then Buck wouldn't have been included in Eddie's flashbacks in 3x15 while he was trapped in the well as many times as he was. He was shown with Chris more than anyone else which means Eddie thinks about the life he wants to have with Buck A LOT!

Additionally, in 7x1, Buck, Eddie and Shannon all sat on Chris' bed in the same spot to illustrate how they're his three parents while the babysitter (Maris*l) was nowhere to be found (related post linked here).

Also, Shannon's romantic relationship with Eddie and her parental one with Chris were constantly contrasted with the relationships Eddie and Chris have with Buck and Buck has always been shown to be the perfect match for Eddie. Reminder, he agreed to have Buck's back in 2x1 but Shannon told him in 2x7 that he never had her back.

Eddie needs to HEAR he can move on from the first person he married from someone other than the people who've been saying it to him. Also, in the past, someone's ALWAYS told him what to do regarding his relationships. He was "strongly encouraged" to marry Shannon because he got her pregnant. His parents and Bobby told him it was time to move on from her in season 4 (YES! His parents did too because reminder, they stopped by their house to eat on their way back to L.A. after they left Austin, TX [in the LS crossover episode, Eddie said it to Judd] and two episodes later, in 4x6, Bobby told him he needed to move on). Then in 6x14, Tia Pepa pushed him to start dating again even though he tried to tell her he wasn't ready.

The point of this post is Shannon is probably the ONLY person who can show or tell Eddie that the life he thought they should have had, wouldn't have ever been because there would have always been someone or something that was pulling him away from her the same way it did when they were married 👀.

It appears Shannon will be Eddie's "Ghost of a Second Chance" but the question is, will her reappearance as a ghost or whatever for the second time in season 7 help Eddie admit the person he's in love with is Buck? Only the showrunner, writers and producers know the answer to that question.

[pineapplehazard]

Just finished s7!!! Right on time✨

Now did I cry when Eddie said goodbye to Chris? Yes, yes I did.

But here's my thoughts about the last two episodes:

- Eddie Diaz : the whole thing with Kim was actually crazy of him, but her playing Shannon?? That man has a reason to act like a mad man but girl what are YOU doing?? That was a quick expedition out for Marisol too, Buck and him see to have a way to make girlfriends disappear this season.

- Chris Diaz : valid. I get why he thinks it's better for him to be away from his father for some time, it's probably a good thing actually for them to have space to breath and accept what happened. But the Diaz parents?? Ramon shit talking about Shannon every chances he's giving (he literally did it at her funeral that man has no shame), and Helena acting like she just won lottery, please at least ACT like you're not happy to take Chris from you son. Honestly if my own mom wasn't sitting right next to me I would have been insulting both of them so MUCH.

- Hen Wilson : I'm mad that they were all going to be happy and then that woman whose son hasn't been mentioned since like ep2? comes to take her revenge out of nowhere. When I saw Mara all closed on herself and quiet when Hen visited her that broke my heart😭 then at the end the emotional whiplash of Chris leaving, instantly followed by the Wilsons getting reunited with Mara, ouch (is it like 'a soul for a soul' but with family, like they CANNOT be happy at the same time??), also I know the plot was for Gerrard to come back, but I love Captain Wilson, and I wanted her to take after Bobby

- Chimney and Maddie: they're relatively absent from the final 2 eps so I don't have much to say, I loved Chimney calling Gerrard trash to his face, and I loved Maddie. I just love Maddie.

- Buck : such a good husband for his chaotic dating-the-doppelganger-of-his-deceased-ex husband... He was just so supportive and trying to help, gosh he's just so cute. But MORE IMPORTANTLY where's my angst?? You're telling me Bobby's in a coma, and all we got from Buck (who's basically his son) is one line of dialog AFTER we know Bobby's going to be alright? Sentence immediately followed by an awkward sex joke argh!! My favorite thing about 911 is Bobby and Buck's relationship and I don't know if it's just an impression but i feel like they barely had any interaction this season, I missed them, I need more of them!! Also all things considered Buck had quite a quiet and calm season, which does feel weird and not something that will stick

- Athena : she mentioned Emmett and I was just woop crying incoming! I'm not gonna dwell on the whole cartel thing, I'm sure people already express so many opinions on this, my real question is how many times can Athena break rules before getting a problem with the hierarchy? (ik she did in s1, but since then she's been pulling some sketchy moves from time to time with no problems afterwards). Also ik the house was going to burn but I hadn't thought of the implications, that they would loose all the memories and stuff and that's so sad, I totally get her panic about wanting to get everything that's on her phone to still have SOMETHING.

-Bobby : please bobby never leave the 118, maybe they could handle it but I couldn't, so please don't leave ever.

(-Tommy : whether you ship them or not, the last scene we got of them together (dinner at Buck's) should start an alarm in your brain about their future together, specially once you consider Gerrard's come back. Tommy literally says that Gerrard's the closest things he got to a father figure when he was in the 118, and that it didn't help him be a better person. (ik he's not saying he saw Gerrard the way Buck see Bobby but he still acknowledge that he saw him as a model of some sort), that's the online line 'acknowledging' Tommy's past actions, but also showing that he followed Gerrard's lead, and we know Buck is not going to appreciate Gerrard's way of leading and this definitely could be a big cause of conflict between Buck and Tommy...)

It feels weird to finally be up to date, and to know killer bees will attack LA in two days😭

I FORGOT RAVI!!

He was there for 3seconds but still, I was so happy seeing him, and ik so far it doesn't seem he'll be back in s8 for some time, so I'm devastated

[eddiediazismyhusband]

😈😈😈

I want the drama, please 🙏

😈 - The Homophobic!Marisol Fic

Also Titled: "I Don't Wanna Miss You Like This (Come Back, Be Here)"

----------

Eddie hadn’t even had but only a few hours since his talk with Pepa before things started blowing up in his face. He was in the middle of showering when he heard the doorbell ring. Cursing, he quickly turned the water off, grabbing his towel and wrapping it around himself. He quickly grabbed the bathrobe that Marisol had gifted him for his birthday a couple months prior- making a mental note to thank her for it again since he had never originally thought it would get any use- and made his way to the front door.

Opening the door, he was shocked to see his parents standing there; his mother’s eyes raking up and down at his state of undress.

“Mom? Dad- wh-” he said, peering behind the door where he was attempting to keep most of his body hidden. “What are you doing here?”

He watched as they shared a quick look before his father cleared his throat. “Christopher called us. He said you were going through a hard time…”

Eddie frowned, his brows furrowing. Christopher knew that things between Eddie and his parents weren’t great. Sure, he and Ramón had started to salvage what was left of their relationship, but they hadn’t managed to really get very far in doing so yet. He hadn’t even begun to unpack things with Helena yet… Christopher was at least aware that things were tense to say the least. He wouldn’t have gone to them about this directly.

“Are we interrupting something, Eddie?” Helena asked, glancing back down at where the bathrobe was loosely covering Eddie’s bare chest; her face schooled enough to where an eye untrained in reading  Helena Diaz’s facial expressions would probably be unaware of the scrutinizing glare in her eyes.

“I was just in the shower,” Eddie told her as he moved behind the door, opening it a little more. “Come in, I’ll- I’ll just go get dressed and then we can… talk.” After letting his parents into the living room, Eddie scurried down the hallway, slipping into a pair of sweatpants and one of his go-to henleys. His phone chimed on the nightstand; picking it up, he saw a text from Marisol asking if he was free to meet her for lunch. He quickly replied, saying he was just going to enjoy the quiet afternoon home- knowing that if he told her about Ramón and Helena’s appearance then she would want to meet them, and he wasn’t ready for that conversation.

----------

Make Me Write!

[hippolotamus]

Hello friends, work has been kicking my ass and I am soooooo behind on tags. I am slowly but surely catching up and looking forward to reading all the things! So, small confession... I've been reworking pieces of come close (let me be home) so some of the snippets might look familiar from before. Hoping the writing beans will soon allow me to make new words. Until then, have this Eddie and Christopher moment before the first ball (all prev snippets here) 😘

“This awful, cursed thing— Argh!” Eddie drops the ends of his bowtie in frustration. It’s not like he even wants to attend this wretched ball tonight. Least of all to placate his mother.

It would be different if he were going as someone who could casually stand in the background, sipping lemonade and observing his surroundings. If only it were that simple. Instead he’s expected to not only be there, but socialize, dance, and interact with potential partners. How is he meant to choose who he’ll spend the rest of his life with – someone to care for his son – based on how well they can perform the quadrille or regurgitate meaningless facts? It’s utter insanity.

“Daddy?” The timid voice reaches out from behind him.

Eddie turns to see Christopher hovering in the doorway, watching intently. The welcome sight is enough for the weight of tonight’s expectations to fall away, finally allowing him to breathe. He goes to his son, picking him up and drinking in the surprised sound.

“What can I do for you, sir?”

Christopher’s nose scrunches in amusement at the endearment before he gets a very serious look on his face. “Can I come with you?”

“I wish,” Eddie huffs out a humorless laugh. “It would make things way more interesting. Although, honestly, I’d much rather stay here with you.”

“Why don’t you then?” Christopher blinks owlishly behind his glasses.

Eddie envies his youthful ignorance for not yet understanding the pressures and politics of adulthood. He sighs and rubs his temple with his free hand, trying to think of an explanation that isn’t an outright lie. With everything that’s happened in Christopher’s short life, Eddie always strives to be honest with him.

“Well, because,” he stretches the words out as his brain continues to configure them into an acceptable arrangement. “I– promised your abuela I would go.”

Chris nods thoughtfully, seeming to accept the answer he’s been given. But, of course, he’s always been more perceptive than Eddie gives him credit for.

“Is this because Abuela wants me to have a new mom?” His voice is quieter, the tone colored with hesitation. Eddie wants to somehow pull him closer, to carve a space beneath his ribs to keep him safe.

“Not a new one, exactly. You know that no one could ever replace your mother. This would be someone else to love and take care of you.”

“But I thought that’s why we have Carla,” Chris protests.

Eddie chuckles at his son’s logic and thinks he might be the one person who could match wits with Helena Diaz. “You’re right. She does both of those things. Carla loves and cares about you very much. It’s just… your abuela has some different ideas. She’s a little stuck in the past sometimes.”

“Okay.” Christopher grins brightly, removing any traces of his serious persona. “Then I hope you have fun and find someone nice for us.”

“Me, too, bud. Me, too.”

Eddie’s brought back to reality when his valet announces the carriage is ready. He presses a kiss to Christopher’s temple and gently sets him on the floor. “Be good for Carla?”

“I’m always good for Carla.” Christopher proudly puffs out his chest.

“Of course. How could I forget?” Eddie teases. “I must be remembering a different little boy that got covered in mud while playing and had to be scrubbed clean.”

Chris rolls his eyes. “One time,” he mumbles.

Eddie snorts as he jogs down the staircase, hoping in vain to burn off some of his nervous energy that’s returned. His cloak is nearly arranged when Christopher calls from the upper floor.

“Daddy! Your tie!”

Right. Eddie sighs and makes a final attempt to knot the material together in front of the hall mirror. Miraculously he makes it in one pass this time and turns with a flourish so Christopher can make his assessment.

His son beams down at him with a toothy grin. “Be good for Abuela!”

Eddie responds with an exaggerated bow, drinking in the giggle that floats down. He snaps it up, like something he could keep in his pocket. A protective barrier from whatever he might have to face tonight. With a heavy sense of dread sitting like a stone in his stomach, Eddie waves goodbye and walks outside to the carriage. As he steps up to the plush, velvet, forest green bench, he wishes it felt less like marching to the Tower of London.

“Ready, sir?” His driver asks from the front.

No. “Ready.”

tagged by @malewifediaz @hoodie-buck @daffi-990 @your-catfish-friend thank you loves!

no pressure tagging @disasterbuckdiaz @stereopticons @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @vanillahigh00 @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @apothecarose @jesuisici33 @callmenewbie @giddyupbuck @wikiangela @jamespearce9-1-1 @spotsandsocks (she posted a new chapter of shifter fic so go check that out!) @exhuastedpigeon @lemonzestywrites @thewolvesof1998 @steadfastsaturnsrings @weewootruck @loserdiaz @heartshapedvows @underwater-ninja-13 @fortheloveofbuddie @eowon @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @elvensorceress @spagheddiediaz @chaosandwolves @wildlife4life @buddierights @911onabc @the-likesofus @spaceprincessem @fionaswhvre @barbiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @pirrusstuff @messyhairdiaz @gayedmundodiaz @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @maygrantgf @statueinthestone @indestructibleheart and anyone else who wants to share 💖

[outrunningthedark]

I absolutely hate the fact that even the official 911 Insta now is putting the mother Shannon Diaz onto a pedestal. I really thought we all were over her and have moved on. Guess i was wrong.

The thing is, Shannon actually WAS a good character. Bad moms are depicted on tv and in film, there's no debate about it, but a bad mom of a disabled child? On a show that highlights the importance of family (in all its forms) on a weekly basis? When do we get to see that? But then fandom dd what fandom's still doing now, which is fail to separate good character from good person, and make excuses for her behavior to "justify" why they like her so much. PSA: You can like shitty characters! Just acknowledge that they're shitty when you're doing it! I've said this probably ten times before, I know, but the fact that people are so quick to uplift Shannon while simultaneously attacking Margaret (who wanted to die after her son did, mind you, some of us know that story very well) or Helena speaks volumes to those who understand Chris's story better than most. If Shannon walked away from her able-bodied son, I guarantee the reaction would be much less sympathetic because almost anyone can put themselves in the position of the child. Walking away from a child with a disability, though? Particularly a disability that isn't seen as "something everyone has" and doesn't get talked about as frequently? They don't know what that's like and can't say they wouldn't do the same. (Neglecting your remaining children after burying one, on the other hand? That's not even a question. 😑) (And the truly sad thing is, they know it's ableist and don't care because it doesn't affect them in any way.)

[likeshipsonthesea]

I love your recent posts about Eddie and Shannon and their relationship. I just don’t see how the show can address any of that with the way they’ve written this arc. There’s no one who can criticise Eddie’s feelings of ‘she was the love of my life, I’m broken without her’ except us the audience. There are no characters who saw their relationship as it actually was, so how can the show steer Eddie in that direction? I feel like they’re gonna leave it as she’s his Great Dead Love and that’s that

i see what you mean, and tbh i'm not sure what the show is going to do with this arc on-screen. they have a bunch of storylines to tie up in this finale episode (here's hoping we don't get any cliffhangers 🤞) and i don't know how much time they will have to devote to eddie, or even what they want to do with that time. it's possible they have a completely different perspective on this and will take it a whole other way, but i have faith that the show will tell the story they want to tell and, if the past six seasons are any indication, i will enjoy that story

all that being said, if we're talking dream arc, this is what i would want

as far as who can tell eddie "hey, you're looking at your marriage with rose-colored glasses, this is how it actually is," i've got two ideas for this. one is eddie himself, and the second is his parents, specifically helena, who has been rumored to be in the s7 finale. i'm kinda more excited about the second, so let's get the first one out of the way

eddie himself - hopefully after the clusterfuck that is explaining to his son that he's been seeing a dead ringer for his dead mom and she cosplayed as mommy to give eddie closure, eddie will talk about this in therapy, and through the skills he's learned and a frank discussion (pun intended) he will be forced to confront the reality of his marriage and start to address the trauma he has from everything with shannon

p cut and dry, my typical eddie-goes-to-therapy kinda story. we've all been here before.

now, for the good stuff 😈 (putting this under a read-more bc i have Thoughts)

helena. the diaz mother we all know and have complicated feelings over. or not-so-complicated feelings over, given the "don't drag [chris] down with you" line. i know i keep asking y'all to think of things from the white woman's perspective, but bear with me just one moment while i do this again

helena married into a large mexican family in the 80s. she had a mother in law whose cooking was renowned, a husband always away on business, and three children to bring up along with keeping her home together. given how everyone in their family seemed to treat shannon, i'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume there were some heavy expectations on helena to be the wife everyone thought ramon deserved, and i'm gonna assume that meant a lot of tradition--cooking the right things, doing the holidays the right way, teaching the kids the right values, etc. etc.

i think it was hard. i think helena didn't always meet the expectations put on her. i know it was played as a joke, but during ramon's retirement party, eddie and pepa were concerned that helena was cooking a specific dish (i can't remember which one atm) until abuela assured them she was in charge of it. meaning this is probably a running joke, helena not cooking things as well as she ought to.

also, raising three kids with a physically absent husband in a town that (i'm assuming) is full of in-laws seems hard to me, too. (if this is sounding familiar, yes i'm about to make a shannon comparison just gimme another second). the stories we hear about eddie as a kid are yes, reflections of traditional masculinity and eddie falling short of that, but also reflections on his parenting--how could helena let her son try to cook? that should be her job, she should be watching him! how could she let him try to drive at 8? tsk tsk and all that

i think helena has become a part of the diaz family fully, but i don't think it was always easy, and i think when her son married a white woman who didn't fit the expectations of a diaz wife either, helena recognized that. i think helena saw herself in shannon so clearly.

and instead of breaking the cycle and offering shannon that support and empathy that shannon (and young helena) needed, helena enforced those expectations even harsher. helena did it, so shannon had to, too.

maybe it was out of protection--she wanted shannon to fit into the family the way helena had learned to. maybe it was common generational sentiment, i.e. it's the Right way or it's the way I did it so therefore you have to do it that way, too. maybe it was a means of reinforcing her own place in the family, as she was no longer the newbie, shannon was.

whatever it was, i don't think she was conscious of it, and especially after shannon left her son, helena refused to acknowledge she was anything like shannon at all.

until now.

(yes i've found my way back to the point, i usually do i promise--and yes my adhd meds are THRIVING rn)

both helena's husband and son have done a lot of emotional work in the recent years and i think it's likely she would take a queue from them (and if her daughters are anything like me, i'm sure they're trying to nudge her towards a therapist at every turn). helena very well may be in a place where she can acknowledge how the expectations she's lived under may have been stifling, and given her son's recent encounter with kim, she very well may be in a place to acknowledge how similar shannon was to her.

and that's where, dear anon, your point comes in.

because helena was there for shannon and eddie's entire marriage. ramon was working, eddie was in the war, abuela and pepa were in la, but helena was right down the street (idk if she was actually right down the street but you know what i mean). helena knew shannon as an 18-20yo woman, as a new mother, as a struggling mother. she was in the unique position of watching shannon go through a marriage alone and remembering exactly how that felt.

kim may look like shannon, but she has no idea how shannon felt during her marriage. eddie can say all the things he wants to say, but it's like talking to a gravestone. i think helena can say the things eddie needs to hear, even if he may not want to hear them.

....and now i really wanna write that conversation. fuck.

[thetangycheesemanwithaplan]

Eddie Diaz (+ Family) speculation

Highlighted is the main points and then i go into more thoughts on each

•One of Eddie's sisters has moved to LA(Maybe even both)

-Eddie said at the beginning of EP 6, that he dropped Christopher off at his cousins. I know this could mean one of Eddie's cousins (which would be second cousins to Chris) But we've never heard of any of Eddie's cousins living in LA. We only know of Tia Pepá currently living there. And although this could still be Tia's children/Eddies cousin's, I find it odd that they're only coming up now. All the years of child care support Eddie has needed ? It would have come up sooner

-We've been told we will meet his sister(s?) and I don't think it's going to be just a passing moment (like his probation ceremony where they were just seen)

-I feel like they're laying some ground work for more Diaz Family stuff and this could play into that. I feel like his sisters will be key to parts of his story line (more on this below)

•Abuela has also moved back to LA

-Look is this partially cause I want more Abuela? Yes . Do I want a spin of show with Tia Pepá and Abuela being gossiping shenanigan queens? Absolutely! But Abuela was at the wedding. No context was given to this she was there, I don't think she's flying in just to be a guest in the wedding and if she had flown in with the rest of Eddie's family it would have been mentioned? (If the whole family was in town Eddie would have maybe said I've dropped him off with my family not at his cousins- it sounded like a more permanent situation with his cousin not a visiting situation)

-She lived in LA prior and moved back to Texas cause of COVID and I can bet your ass she wants to come back (get away from Helena and Ramon) I also see that being a problem to Eddie's parents and they would have brought it up as a concern for her well-being but if Eddie's sister has moved also, you know Abuela is arguing a case to move cause there's even more family to keep an eye on her etc (she packed her bags and went fuck this, I'm out)

-This plays into the groundwork for Diaz Family stuff

•Shannon is back

-We know this based on the photo we've seen and it's going to be interesting to see

-We can almost rule out the reason Eddie sees her as anything medical as they've just been through that with Chim. And I reckon it'll be in ghost form (hence the title) but my question is will it be like the Shannon&Chris scene where she's there but not seen or is it something Eddie sees

-I think there will be an interaction of some sort between them, maybe not directly but there will be an Eddie x Shannon conversation going on. Eddie has just finally been made aware/acknowledged of all his repressed catholic guilt (RCG) and a lot of that is going to tie into his relationship with Shannon and the reasons behind it. His unresolved feelings that he is dealing with have come up now because of this RCG. He may have thought he'd made peace with it but now he's dealing with this its probably brining up a lot for him. He either imagines a what if scenario and we see Shannon if she had lived and they have a conversation or its a ghost version who appears to him when he's thinking about it all

-I like the idea of a ghost version that Eddie interacts with because he's now questioning his entire belief system (RCG) and what better to challenge that system then a mf ghost (Eddie doesnt belive in that kind of stuff. Talking to a grave and them watching over-yes. Shannon the friendly ghost not so much)

•Eddie will reach out to Abuela (and his sister) to talk about the Shannon of it all

-After Eddie see's Shannon, he's got even more on his mind. He goes to Abuela's. His sister also happens to be there (You see al these theories coming together now). He talks about what he's going through and his sister and abuela talk him through some of it. His Abuela offering the supportive parental side that he doesnt always get from his parents and his sister offering an understanding thats on the same level because she was raised the same way, she understands his upbringing better than anyone. And yes there are differences , Eddie was told to be the man and step up,but she was there, she lived through it with him

-Eddie has done so well with therapy that i feel he would want to talk about it but not with his parents so Abuela seems the most likely. I feel like he would want to get an understanding of it before he even dared to confront his parents. This RCG will be an ongoing thing but i think Eddie starts to take steps to figure it out.

•Diaz Family Drama(The Will)

-His parents will be in town for something (maybe an award ceremony/presentation of sorts) and although i don't think Eddie's going to come out and say RCG to them, i feel like some comments will be made towards his parents.

-I believe these comments will be about The Will. It'll come out that Buck becomes Chris' legal guardian if anything were to happen to him and this causes outrage and Eddie explains that he wants Chris raised a certain way and Buck understands this(aka not the way Eddie was raised-RCG). Also that Buck is the closest thing to another parent Chris has and therefore it makes the most sense as a person in Chris's life.

-Bonus of if this is when Chris also finds out and despite Helena and Ramon's protests Chris just says 'Buck is like a dad to me'

Shoutout to @whollyjoly and @buck-up-buck as always for listening to me ramble about this like last week! I'm only now putting it in writing

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

I need more!

Hell yeah! 1k for impending Buddie daughter:

---

“Because it matters, Eddie!” He insists. “This is going to be her space, so… I want it to be a constructive one.”

“Constructive?”  Eddie asks.

“Yeah,” Buck nods. “Like, the right space for her, you know?”

“How can we know what that is before she’s born?” Eddie asks. 

“That’s what I’m saying!” Buck huffs.

“Well, unfortunately, she needs a place to sleep whether we know her personality or not…”

Okay, well… Duh. Buck knows that much. 

“What if we pick something pink and super girly and she’s, like, not that kid. And then her first memories are in a super girly room, and she thinks we were trying to, uh, force her into a stereotype?” Buck challenges.

Eddie blinks. “Uh… Paint her room blue then, Buck. I don’t care. We just need to pick something.” 

“Well, what if that isn’t right, either?” Buck asks. 

Eddie sighs. “Okay, how about this? We paint it literally however you like, and then when she’s four months old, we politely ask her for her feedback?”

Buck glares at him. “You’re not funny.”

“I think I might be.”

“Our daughter’s sense of security in her own home is on the line and you’re making jokes,” Buck chides. “Cute.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. He turns and calls down the hall.

“HEY, CHRIS!”

“YEAH?” Chris calls back from his bedroom. 

“Do you remember your nursery from El Paso? When you were a baby?” Eddie asks.

“Obviously not!” 

Eddie gives Buck a self-satisfied look.

“Okay, well…” Buck trails off. 

“Do you know what his nursery looked like?” Eddie asks.

As Chris said, obviously not. 

“It looked like we were constantly strapped for cash,” Eddie says. “Which we were. And he’s totally fine anyway.”

Buck sighs. “I see your point.”

“So pick something,” Eddie advises. “I don’t even care what it is, because I know it’ll be nice. Whatever it is, she’ll be fine.”

“Ugh, you’re right,” Buck concedes.

“I know,” Eddie says. “If you don’t pick a direction by the end of the week, I’m just going to start buying stuff, okay?” 

Buck scowls. “I suppose that’s valid.”

☆☆☆

While Buck fights the easiest battle in the history of all battles - choosing a damn paint swatch - Eddie waits for the inevitable to happen. Not the baby being born. Though there is that. No, what Eddie is waiting for his parents to try and get involved. 

Because, they will. He knows they will as soon as he calls them - individually now, of course - and tells them about the adoption. Their divorce means it’s going to be different than it was with Chris. They can’t team up against him. They’re alone and he has Buck. He’s in a way more stable place. This child is very intentional and they are prepared. But that doesn’t mean they won’t fucking try to… Eddie doesn’t know. Undermine him?

Things have been a lot better with his parents lately. Especially since the wedding. They didn’t have anything negative at all to say when he announced they were planning on having another child more generally. But he can already feel it starting when it comes to their very near adoption. 

“Ah, that’s too bad my sister did that,” Ramon sighs a little when Eddie explains the situation to him. 

“What do you mean it's too bad?” Eddie asks. 

“I thought the surrogacy plan was a good one,” Ramon says. “So there’d be another little Diaz out there.” 

Eddie feels a stab of irritation. 

“Dad, that’s still what she’ll be. Blood or not, she’s going to be my daughter.”

“It will be interesting to see how she turns out,” Ramon says. “I’m sure you and Buck will do a fantastic job, though.” 

The conversation with his mother is just as annoying - maybe more so, actually - but in an entirely different direction.

“I am glad you’re going with adoption, Eddie,” Helena sighs, relieved, when he tells her. “I was very worried about the effect of egg donation on your sister. It was a big ask.” 

“Well, Mom, it was her idea,” Eddie says. “I didn’t actually ask.”

“This just works better,” Helena says. 

Eddie doesn’t feel the need to point out that Adriana has already said they can come to her again if they ever need or want to. 

“Well, we’re really excited for October,” Eddie replies diplomatically. 

“Of course you are. It’s very exciting. What day should I plan a visit out?”

“Uh… I’m not sure yet. We’re probably going to play it by ear. Sometime in November? Maybe Thanksgiving?"

“Thanksgiving? She’d be a month old.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “She would be. We want some time to settle into a routine with her, you know?”

“For other visitors, I completely understand. But, Edmundo, I'm your mother. I could come sooner and help you both out. You may need it.”

Oh, god no.

No, he does not want that. 

“That’s really kind, Mom,” Eddie says. “But I think Buck and I can handle it. We have lots of help nearby, too, if-”

“Well, no offense, but you don’t exactly know that, do you?” She presses. “Neither of you has ever cared for an infant.”

Eddie feels the barbs behind her words. She’s calling Buck inexperienced. But she’s reminding Eddie that he has failed before. She’s reminding Eddie that he needed her once. Suggesting that he’ll need her again.

Yeah, this is way more annoying than the call with his dad. 

“We’ll be just fine,” Eddie says tensely. “We have a lot of people here who have raised babies. Buck’s sister is close by.”

He hopes that stings to hear, too. As petty as that sounds. 

It must, because she takes a second to answer. 

“Well, Eddie… I’d just hate to see you get overwhelmed. Think of how hard that would be for your husband.”

Eddie’s back tenses. 

“I have to go,” he says. “I’ll keep you updated on the baby.”

“Eddie-” 

He ends the call.

[matan4il]

geez I thought the buckleys were being supportive of buck until I read your meta that they see buck as a donor more than a dad, thankful for your metas as they help me see things that I really haven't caught on the episode :)

Hi, lovely Nonnie, thank you for the kind message! I'm so happy if my meta posts can help illuminate any aspect of the eps for you, and I'm so thankful to know people read and enjoy these posts! As for what I wrote about the Buckleys in my 610 meta post, what got to me is that Buck is looking down and smiling at a baby sonogram on his own phone, and the most immediate assumption would naturally be that it's his baby. Even if it's a misunderstanding, that's the logical immediate assumption, but the Buckley parents would sooner believe Maddie is pregnant again (even as they slide in a passive aggressive comment about it being too soon) than think Buck's the dad. And then when he says it isn't his, they find it so easy to accept, they're not a bit disappointed.

I may be influenced here by my own experiences coming out, but I remember my grandmother going from pestering me about finding a nice boy and giving her a great grandchild when she thought I was straight to radio silence once she realized I was gay. Then we'd have some conversations about it, and eventually she started pestering me about finding a nice girl and giving her a great grandchild. And being pestered about having a kid may not sound ideal, but in my grandmother's terms, that was real acceptance. The Buckley parents do want more grandkids, we can see that around the news of another Buckley-Han baby, so when they're totally cool with Buck being a donor, not a dad? That to me is telling.

(makes me wonder a bit what would Ramon and Helena Diaz say if they got the news that Eddie's having another kid...)

Have a lovely day! As always, here's my ask tag.