#as usual. 4 my mutual

[cleverpaws]

rolan for the character thang ...!!!

yayyy!!!

how i feel abt this character: i lauve rolan so super much!!!! out of the three of them i think abt him the least but thats just bc im obsessed w kian and also rand as a character just hits a little too close to home (eldest siblings when there is an eldest sibling in media 🙁😦) but like. the fact that theres no way of saying who the "real" rolan is. it is also slightly frightening the degree to which i can relate being changed into a Literal entirely new person by a traumatic event /system 😔

all the people i ship romantically w this character: kian & rand (sometimes separately w just kian but mostly all 3 together) (im not much of a keeperschampion guy bc i think its just a little too obvious. yk)

my non-romantic OTP for this character: honestly tho speaking of keeperschampion. those two. as best friends they are also deeply tragic

my unpopular opinion abt this character: something my beloved mutual plantboiart pointed out to me so credit to them but guyssss guyssssssss he wasnt always (that) lameeeee he used to be cool w the other two and steal shit

and finally one thing i wish had happened to him in canon: i think we all know this one i wish his stupid gay bug ass lived 🙁🙁 fly high rolan deep u wouldve loved . the law

[jayzzu]

Send this to all your favorite moots and pass the pumpkin round! KEEP THE PUMPKIN TRAIN GOING 🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃

got pumpkin'd

[your-unfriendlyghost]

so many of my mutuals are posting so much cool stuff n I don’t have the energy to comment on it rn bc my eyelids are so heavy but know that I have seen it and I LOVE it and tomorrow I get off work at 4 so I’ll write some comments bc y’all rock holy hell

[torchickentacos]

Very rarely I'll (accidentally) find someone who's blocked me on pokemon tumblr, and realistically I know that they probably saw one of my posts too many times and just got sick of seeing it or I simply annoy them or whatever. But part of me really wants to believe that my pokemon anime opinions were just too much for someone. I want to believe that someone saw me say 'The absol scene needed better build-up to justify Drew talking to one of his pokemon like that, it goes against everything we've seen of him imo' or whatever and they just put a hand over their heart, wounded, and clicked the block button while cursing my family for several generations, past and future. I really want to think that I had a lukewarm enough drew opinion that someone blocked me about it

[ryusxnka]

My blog just turned NINE today. It's not old you are.

[itsalwaysdark]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Do you guys have podcast recommendations? I'm caught up on everything I listen to, but you guys are my favorite podcast, so I assume we have similar tastes

AWWW i'm so honored that we're your faves! grey is no longer a podcast listener so i (crystal) shall be the only answerer

in terms of people-watching-a-thing podcasts, i've enjoyed:

doctor huh- two siblings, one a former doctor who watcher and one who... only knows about it from social media... watch nuwho eps in a random order

zero to zero- three friends watch dc/marvel properties and respond w fun and funny levels of haterism. i have enjoyed ALL of this despite never once touching something they reviewed. on maybe-permanent hiatus

LMNOP- the only good cbs elementary podcast. also on maybe-permanent hiatus

i've been meaning to watch that- i've listened to less of this one, but it's hosted by manika dulcio, who we had on our s4 wrapped, so if you liked her there check her out on her home base!

as for fiction podcasts, listing my fave subscribeds below! for some of these, the first few eps are kinda rough but i've found them all resoundingly Worth It eventually! also if you, babpod listener, care about this, all of these have queer main characters and i'll bold the ones where the main char is explicitly a poc:

hi nay- "a supernatural horror fictional podcast about Filipina immigrant Mari Datuin, whose babaylan (shaman) family background accidentally gets her involved in stopping dangerous supernatural events in Toronto." v rich lore v good at being creepy! (ongoing)

the silt verses- what if every single folk deity was real and hungry and society ran on ppl being sacrificed on telephone poles? incredibly sexy writing like SO sexy (ongoing)

midnight burger- space diner adventures and friendships! they recently dropped a 3-hour beautifully audio-engineered season finale they've grown so much since the beginning. great cast and fills you w so much wonder about The Universe (ongoing)

greater boston- an expanding cast of chars tell the story of the forming of a new city on the boston red line train cars. makes u wild about community and interconnectedness and local politics and how no one is beyond compassion while also having like. cheese robots (ongoing)

within the wires- what if a world war led to a worldwide cultural shift that decried all tribalism starting at the family unit and babies were separated from their parents at birth? extremely interesting world and formats though i do think it's kinda tired after s4. i think listening to s1 then reading the companion novel might be the Move (ongoing)

unwell, a midwestern gothic mystery- what it says on the tin! lily returns to the fading small town she grew up in to care for her mom. there are ghosts and town history and wolves in the woods. some rlly beautiful and complex family relationships and friendships, great vibe and sound design (complete)

parkdale haunt- p classic haunted house horror (well i say classic. there's also an influencers cult) which i also consider a Top Friendship-Focused Media (complete)

alice isn't dead- usamerican road trip show about the horrors of freedom. spn wishes. love jasika nicole as a VA (complete)

the pasithea powder- epistolary space bisexuals after a war that left them on opposite sides. excellent interpersonal drama and aliens (complete)

wooden overcoats- v funny british funeral home rivalry show antigone funn is the weirdgirl extraordinaire (complete)

monstrous agonies- nice soothing ten-minute segments of a supernatural advice show. i think i've mentioned it as being the anti-spn in terms of the monster rights and monster-human cohabitation background of the world (complete)

midnight radio- ten-episode small town radio show ghost romance. it's an excellent annual fall listen if you have a saturday free (complete)

mabel podcast- ONE OF THE PODCASTS OF ALL TIME. if you care about women you will like this podcast. i've always found anna and mabel so revolutionary and freeing to listen to. horror podcast about fairies and a house that loves (creepy edition?) you (long hiatus)

brimstone valley mall- silly delightful y2k demons in a mall (long hiatus)

the far meridian- magical realism story about a girl living in a teleporting lighthouse. sweet and melancholic (long hiatus)

khôra podcast- greek myths in space. i need to hug all the characters (long hiatus)

ty for this ask i love podcasts i need to catch up on them!

- Crystal :)

[saebaragi]

not to cringe post on main because this is the most suicidal I ever felt in my life yet, but sometimes when I'm feeling extremely lonely and tumblr sends me a notification that a moot has made a post, I feel a little less alone

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

also idk enough about music and how this works to explain it but there's a very specific way Pete Wentz plays bass and it's so fun to single out in a song and listen to it

[kingkyks]

I'm starting to not care about football anymore

[ronanlynchbf]

diversity loss! those ppl correctly gendering u assumed you're straight..

[clonewarsahsoka]

Ummmmm the guy I think is cute started a conversation with me unprompted today

[toolazytodecide]

Damn, I forgot what it was like posting in a popular Fandom

[new--moons]

broke: are you mad at me

woke: do you think i’m mad at you

[mrsbarnesblog]

just us

masterlist

summary: a situation between pogues and kooks at the beach made Rafe rethink his priorities

word count: 1.8k.

warnings: season 4 spoilers, established relationship, mention of the dead turtle, that hoe Ruthie, protective Rafe

a/n: i'm obsessed with season 4, y'all. absolutely in love with everything that's going on and especially with Rafe being in a better place with a girl that he actually likes 🥹 this scene at the beach with turtles just made me sob, so I really need someone to drag that bitch by her hair. sorry not sorry.

Your heart was beating with adrenaline from the scene that just happened at the beach, with Topper’s girlfriend almost running over the pogues and being the usual insane bitch that she was. Rafe stood beside you, silent but shaking his buzzed head in disapproval.

Kie was standing on her knees on the sand, in shock, with juice still dripping down her face and hair. She brushed off the help of her friends, instead standing and picking something up from the ground, without hesitation, going towards the group of people around you. They seemed absolutely delighted by the whole situation, laughing, fist bumping each other, and making you want to punch every single one of them in the face. 

You didn’t even want to be here in the first place, not with a bunch of people with whom you shared mutual hatred towards each other. Rafe was your only connection with them, and it seemed like even for him it was a bit too much. A fun day at a beach with a little surfing competition, where even Topper and JJ seemed to have some fun together, took the wrong turn way too quickly.

“Look what you did! Is this okay?” Kie stopped in front of Ruthie, reaching out her hand to show something that you weren’t able to see, but by the look on her face it was obviously serious to her. “There was a turtle hatch, you idiots! You drove right over it!” Your stomach twisted at the realization, and you took a step closer to see it yourself. 

“Oh my God.” You whispered, catching a glimpse of a tiny dead turtle with a crushed shell laying in the palm of her hand. So little and harmless that the picture of it brought tears to your eyes. 

“Don’t look, baby.” Rafe’s deep voice mumbled near your ear, with a warm hand sprawled across your back to try to distract you, but you shook your head, unable to take your eyes off it. 

“All right, but it was only one.” Ruthie said with her usual attitude, nonchalantly pointing to the rest of the turtles that, luckily, were perfectly fine. Your mouth opened in disbelief, and you looked at Rafe to see him uncomfortably rubbing the back of his head. 

“I’m so sorry, Kie…” You whispered to her, stepping further away from the kooks, eyes drifting again to the dead animal in her hand. No matter how hard you tried to fit in with Rafe and his friends, you could never be one of them if it meant to be a bunch of pompous and cruel rich kids. You thought that, maybe it was time for you to finally admit that. 

“It’s not your fault, Y/N.” She briefly looked at you, because despite not being friends, there never were any arguments between you and the rest of the pogues, always keeping cool and friendly with each other. “There’s something wrong with you, people.” Kiara looked back at the kooks with disgust written all over her face. 

“I’m leaving, Rafe.” Barely holding back your tears, you looked back at your boyfriend, before picking up your beach bag from the sand and turning around. “I’m sorry again for them, Kie.”

“No, wait, Y/N.” He pushed through the crowd, wide-eyed, quickly approaching you and grasping your wrist. “This is not—“

“I don’t want to be here. I didn’t sign up to hang out with your friends when I started dating you, okay?” You groaned in frustration, attempting to move, but Rafe stopped you. “I don’t even know why we’re here, why you are here, when you clearly don’t enjoy it anymore.” 

“Listen, this is not so easy, okay?” He rolled his eyes, but you knew it was not fully directed at you; Rafe was already struggling with trusting those around him, and the fact that you slowly but steadily made him reconsider his current surroundings did not help. 

“You are not like them, they are not your friends, don’t you understand it?” The pure desperation was speaking in you, searching for the answers in his eyes. You overheard some people laughing at you, as they were too confident that Rafe would never listen to someone like you, someone from the cut, not even realizing the war that was currently going on in his head. 

He was silent, thinking, making his already overwhelmed mind go hundred miles per hour to figure something out, because you were right. The more time had passed, the more the two of you were together, the less Rafe found himself enjoying the presence of his old friends, the less he wanted to do that childish bullshit. 

“This dumb fucking bitch almost ran over people and killed an innocent animal because her big ego got hurt, do you understand?! So I’m leaving. Alone or with you.” You almost whispered the last part to him, too scared that he'd not choose you. At the end of the day, you were a pogue, and no matter how much you tried, you would never be good enough for Rafe. 

“What did you just call me?” Ruthie arched a brow, now shooting daggers at you. 

“I called you a dumb fucking bitch, didn’t you hear me?” You spat, finally having a good enough reason to tell the truth right in her face. “Or are you too stupid to get that through your thick scull?” 

“That’s rich, coming for a pogue. It’s just a cycle of life. And if you, losers, are so offended by that, it’s not my problem.” 

“A cycle of life? Getting flattened by a truck is not a cycle of life.” Kiara pushed Ruthie with her hand, and it nearly turned into a fight, with JJ standing by his girlfriend's side. You turned away from them, too frustrated and drained to bother listening to the rest of the conversation, your gaze shifting to Rafe, who still held your hand.

“I want to leave. Stay here if you want to, I don’t care. I’m done with them, Rafe.” Your teary eyes met his blue ones, and he shook his head, pulling you closer with your forearms. The mere thought of you leaving him, angry and upset, triggered a whirlwind of panic within him.

“Hey, no, I’m not staying, okay?” Rafe's hands, now much gentler and delicate, touched your cheeks, wiping away a few tears that you could not keep back. Rafe had never been too comfortable with the display of emotions, and he was pretty sure that it was the first time he had actually seen you cry. And he knew how much you had always carried for animals, how you petted every stray cat or a dog on the street, and how you hated any form of violence against them. 

The pulsating and aching feeling in his chest at the sight of your tears made him want to drop everything, or rather, eliminate everyone who had upset you, and just hold you in his arms. 

“Aw, look at you.” You heard that annoying voice behind you back again, pulling you out of the bubble in which you fell, and turning around, you saw that Kie and JJ were no longer there. Your eyes instantly rolled back as Ruthie looked at you with her usual fake sympathy, crossing her arms over her chest. “Go back to your side of the island, you’re not one of us. Don’t even know why Rafe bothers to bring you here when you’re just another dirty toy to—“

Rafe left your side before she could finish her sentence, looming over her with the most furious expression you had ever seen on his face. Everyone and everything seemed to fall silent for a moment, and you held your breath, unsure what he would do. “Wanna say some bullshit about her? Try to do it right in my face and see what happens.”

“You’re not seriously protecting the pogue. She’s not on our side.” Her smile faded, her eyes now nervously looking between Rafe and Topper, who was standing behind her back. 

“C’mon, Rafe…” He started, but quickly shut his mouth as soon as Rafe turned his head towards him with a silent threat. You felt your heartbeat quickening as the atmosphere started to get even more intense. Everyone around you also started arguing and saying God knows what, but Rafe was awfully calm, and it frightened you even more. 

You moved closer to them as you made your way through the warm sand, until you were able to place a comforting hand on your boyfriend's back. He was so tense under your touch that it amazed you how the hell he was not shaking because of it. The only times you had ever seen him behaving that way was when people whispered something about his father behind his back.

“It’s okay, Ray.” You whispered, kissing his shoulder and sliding your hand down his back to take a hold of his bicep. 

“You’re lucky that I don’t hit women. But if I hear a single word about my girlfriend again, you will regret it, I promise you." Your stomach flattered from the way he protected you, from the way his friends opened their mouths in shock at his words. Even Topper and Kelce were too stunned to speak, sending each other weird glances. “Control, your crazy bitch, Top.” 

As if nothing had happened, Rafe stepped back, throwing a protective hand over your shoulders and guiding you away from the group. He was silent for a whole walk towards his truck, only stopping near the passenger door and turning you to face him. 

His worried blue eyes were almost shining under the bright and hot sun and you saw words forming in his head and sitting at the tip of his tongue. You waited another minute, while Rafe was focused on your necklace, thinking. His hands found a place on your waist, rubbing circles into your skin, until he finally took a deep breath and looked up. 

“You’re right.” He said simply. “I’m not this person anymore. That shit with racing with pogues was fun and all, but I didn’t like what happened today.” You half smiled, nodding and encouraging him to talk. “If—if I want to be like my dad, I need to have my priorities straight. No more of this bullshit, no more fake ass people, yeah? You’re the only one who's been here for me for a long fucking time. You’re the only one who I can trust, baby.”

His hand cupped your cheek, eyes focused solemnly on you, before he lowered himself closer to you to place a kiss on your lips. 

“This is the right decision. You’ve overgrown them, you’re a better man now. And i’ll be here for you whenever you need me, I promise. I guess it’s just us now." Your body sagged against his, too wrapped in the comfort of his presence to even care about anything else. Your lips brushed against his, making Rafe groan.

“Just us, baby.”