#ive been posting in pretty small fandoms recently

[toolazytodecide]

Damn, I forgot what it was like posting in a popular Fandom

[anonymouscheeses]

Honeslty thought the bishova fandom was going to be small. I have no idea why but i remember vividly of this fandom being small. Or maybe i was apart of big fandoms and this one js didnt match it n i thought that meant it was small idk. But then i look at the number of fanfics on AO3 and...

TWO THOUSAND IS GREAT. GIVE ME ALL OF THAT. IM GNA READ THEM ALL!!

I still dont know why i remember this fandom being super small? I have horrible memory plus my hawkeye hyperfixation was pretty long ago

Or maybe this is small and im just used to my recent hyperfixations having 14 or less fics.... yes ive been in several fandoms with that amount... yes it sucked.. anyways Bishova fandom ily you will always be a core part of my backstory 🫶

Hiding this behind the read more so the post doesnt get too long. YALL. I NEED TO FIND THIS FANFIC I READ BACK IN MY HAWKEYE DAYS. it was like. Around the release of hawkeye i think? Bishova definitely ofc. It was basically a rewrite of the entire season but Kate and Yelena are in a secret relationship. Secret from who? Clint Barton. And i THINK that Clint like. Walks in on them. Iykyk... but im not sure? I also remember a line where Yelena and Kate are waiting outside the elevator in the last episode, and Yelena goes "Im gonna take some appetizers, kill clint barton, kiss you, then ill go."

Or maybe it was "FUCK u" but im not sure. That part could also be apart of another fic i vividly remember. Again. Im HORRIBLE with my memory its due to some sort of thing idk.

Also like. this fic MIGHT be smutty? Cz younger me was freaky asf.. But i headcanon Yelena as ace now so im just genuinely looking for this fic to go back to the good ol days

So if you know the fanfic pls tell me, please n thank you 🫶🫶

(Also im too lazy to go lookin thru 2,000 fics for this sorry)

[jinzouactor]

do you have any Ultimate 5 headcanons you’re really fond of? sorry if you posted these somewhere already, but I’m really fond of them and their fandom is p small these days!

omg right... there was so much good convo floating around back in the day but lemme see

mngs not fucking being ninete-

minegishi getting a pet postclaw. i dont see them having many ways to fill their time, i feel like having something to take care of would be good for them

the thought that minegishi is not very sensitive to other auras and their own was quite weak. before season 3 it was popular thought that their plants WERE their aura unlike other espers. the idea that makes them difficult to read is cool. like having no eyebrows makes their emotions difficult to read lol

i think the 5 of them meet up pretty regularly for drinks postclaw. i think hatori might have been more social than the rest of them and knows a few more people from Claw who weren't in the S5 and tries to get them involved but the rest of the 5 aren't that receptive. Seri has brought Reigen along a couple times. He didn't make a good impression.

Hatori was closest to Serizawa (both joined the S5 most recently) and Minegishi is most comfortable around Shibata (both of them are happy to NOT talk in each other's company). Shimazaki can get along with anyone but is difficult to form genuine connection with.

Hatori was quite eager to room with Minegishi post claw but they (very politely) were not really willing to tolerate that.

oh and the notion of matsuo and minegishi being exes (friend laine's hc) is super funny to me. in the way that there's bad blood around the time of the WD-arc but they're chill after the fall of claw. their friendship would be pretty cool

-> and THAT made me think what if mngs had some involvement in the 7th div e.g. working there before promotion to the super 5 which is pretty interesting ground for character interactions and the nature of claw. but that idea kind of died. still think its cool tho

basically im a fish who cant see the water around them because ive been in headcanonville for so long that i just sort of see it all as "naturally they are this way"

anyway for more then @nie7027 has some pretty fun headcanon posts

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hey BPP!

I came across this post about the ‘slave room’ that I think you might know already. Here’s the post https://old.reddit.com/r/kpop/comments/m4cdy9/a_slave_room_was_created_to_monitor_users_spread

I remember you talking about how you and your friends consistently reported a lot (hundreds???? of antis and their misinformation a few years ago and now this. The post talks about this room mainly targeting girl groups like Twice and a couple of comments down there was even a mention of STAND, the anti fans of SNSD who really wanted to bring them down. Reading this blew my mind because with the amount and reach of their organization feels like miles ahead than an organized group of trolls and antis that I thought most idol groups dealt with.

Does BTS have something like this? Because when I read your post on antis I was under the impression that it was a small group of head antis with a few minions to do the legwork. This slave room actually spent tons of money on this smear campaign. It comes off to me that they might have backing from a company but maybe I just can’t believe that people would waste their cash on something so petty lmao. Time maybe but not money. It sounds like a real campaign almost like QAnon or MAGA, which is scary to think about!!!! The users say that their k-fandom worked against it but weren’t successful as much until it was uncovered by the media. They didn’t even contact the gg’s agency for help. Are K-Army aggressive when it comes to squashinh down stuff like this?? Antis are scary and unhinged 😭😭😭😭😭

***

Hi Anon,

Your link.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the anti 'slave rooms' are well known. Antis in k-pop are a very special breed and yes sometimes there is corporate backing for that hate. I mean, the most recent example of that is Kakao's Idol Lab expose that newspapers in Korea reported in November 2022. For anyone who doesn't know, Kakao (the same Kakao that SM stans would rather have their idols be managed by, rather than HYBE), funded a group known for 'reverse viral marketing' that specialized in creating and spreading hate and malicious rumors against Aespa, Le Sserafim, NewJeans, Itzy, Garam, and a few other rival groups, while simultaneously creating and boosting positive posts for IVE, Monsta X, Wonyoung i.e. groups under their Starship music label. The company claimed that group of haters were third-party contractors and that Kakao wasn't aware of what they were doing, but given this is same Kakao that rigged a music talent show so extremely and blatantly that some of their staff went to prison, many people clearly don't buy it.

Now, here's a quick quiz. It's more of a temp/sense check to see if from all I've been writing about the k-pop industry and HYBE / BTS / ARMYs' relationship with it so far, you've learned something and can answer the following questions correctly.

Did that very damning revelation impact Kakao at all?

Did fans of SM groups who learned their favourite idols/groups were explicitly targeted by Kakao, care in any meaningful way?

Did those fans care when Kakao was revealed to want to acquire management rights of their idols/groups? And what about after Kakao was revealed to have pursued illegal means of acquiring SM shares?

Does the wider k-pop fandom view Kakao as worse or similar to HYBE?

Has this revelation impacted any of Kakao's groups in any meaningful way since then?

Do you think the reaction of k-pop stans to Kakao's manipulation would be the same if HYBE was found to have done the same?

*

I'm kind of curious to know what your answers are.

Anyway, by this point I hope that when I say the behaviours you see in k-pop fandoms are structurally supported, and that ARMY (for most of the fandom's existence so far) has borne the brunt of acting counter-cultural to the dominant behaviours you see here, as has BigHit and BTS going against many industry norms, and that many people in k-pop fandoms aren't here for the right reasons, I hope that by this point y'all can see I'm not talking outta my ass.

Many people here get into k-pop for the shiny veneer of perfection, of bright MVs, crisp choreos, and hot Asian celebrities who engage in the sort of fan service only rockstars of old got away with, but they stay for the fanwars, for the long-running feuds between fandoms, for the constant picking apart of idols and groups they dislike, for the hope that one day the groups/fandoms they hate will experience a reckoning... - people stay for the hate. Many of them do absorb all sorts of conspiracy theories about BTS and groups/idols they hate and yes, it can take on a Q-Anon quality.

There's a lot that's fucked up in this industry and not even HYBE is completely spotless, but what matters for a lot of the people in this space is making an example of the one group that was the anomaly, and the company and fandom that helped them rise above it all. I'm not even trying to be alarmist or sycophantic, this is literally just the reality I've observed for years.

This is one reason I suggest you simply report and block when you see hate, don't engage with the hate or give people/spaces with a taste for it any oxygen. It's why when I see people engage in 'discourse' where they simply fan up theories or unilaterally negative critiques about groups (and especially BTS), I just check out.

Now that k-pop has gotten even more international exposure courtesy of BTS, it is potentially even more lucrative than before, and so the stakes have only gotten higher. But the players are still used to relying on their unsavory playbook and see no reason to change because the wider k-pop industry and fandom is more than okay with it. I mean, just look at the Kakao-SM deal and k-pop fandom's reaction to it even after the police have just raided their offices...

The quality of music BTS makes is more than enough reason to focus only on them and that. Their personalities and group chemistry are a wonderful bonus. And their history and relationship in this industry for anyone who understands the dynamics here, is only the cherry on top. This is one reason it sometimes annoys me when ARMYs let it get to them or act just as unhinged, disgusting, and stupid as many of the folks who only 3-4 years before they couldn't stand.

Sigh, oh gosh I've rambled again. Lol writing abridged versions is hard. But I hope you got your answer Anon.

[chocochococoffee]

A, H, X for the fanfic ask game :)

[I accidentally unfollowed you when I wanted to hit the ask button sorry hihi orz]

ah dw! that happens! i usually fat finger my way into following whatever post appearing on the dash orz

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

I believe that my favorite right now has been the jjba one I wriote recently. Reasons? I had lots of fun imagining it, sharing it to friends and basically rolling on their discord DMs talking to them about stuff. I even made it a small Q/A and some fanart! Its not that I didn't have fun before with the other fanfics ive written but this one felt special for some reason.

H: How would you describe your writing style?

I am pretty much an amateur and it shows even more while I am writing in english. I believe my way of writing is more akin to a rudimentary stream of conciousness but in 3rd person. I am trying hard to not make it look like I am the one being streamed in what I write. This style works well in comedy/slapstick, although I need to research more in better ways on how to write horror.

X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading?  Are you a voracious reader?  Do you carefully pick and choose?  Something in between?

Oh yeah I am voracious. I am a person of obsessions, and if my obsession leads me to a fandom I will search meticulously page per page every fanfic that caters to my tastes. I love using the exclude tags in ao3 lmao, and yet I am the kinda person who can say "hmmm this particular kinda story is not my taste but hey it can be well written no?". And then I starve when theres nothing. Trust me Ive got two kr novels and three books waiting for me but here I am, in page 33 of a certain character, trying to see if theres More.

[sa2-astral]

your tags on the sow video is honestly so real. i love theory crafting and i honestly should post more of my shadows over welde theories on tumblr i mostly just forget to LMAO. The fic author canonizing your stuff is so cool tho I just have Hayden (Argentum's player) reading my fics and making references to it ingame and im shaking them. I've been doing a lot of theory crafting on Zephrael and Argentum specifically recently cause they're just the characters I have the most info for (also Rae is my favourite) and its so fun graaah. What the video didn't show was that Hayden replied to the original tweet about Zephrael's tattoos being abyssal and Grizzly replied to them with "look away"

orghrghrhg yeahhh :DDD

the theory crafting i think went better because its a small community with the author pretty interactive too which seems to be a similar case with this . seeing that has been so cool. and making references in the show???? i would die /pos .

yessss ive been thinking SO many theory thoughts . mainly about zephrael because my brain has no idea where to go with anyone else yet (and the brainrot has majorly hyperfixated on zeph so yeah) i dont think im cooking yet though cause im pretty sure its full on delusional making shit up because i like angst SJDSKDKS :sob: ive just been ranting in my friends dms a tiny bit hehehe. rarely ramble on tumblr mostly on discord so yeah heheh . i just dont have a set location on discord to ramble yet ive had to keep it contained and vaguely worded in my friends dms because i dont wanna spoil anything SJDJSDKS

also the whole abyssal tattoo is SO fucking cool . ive seen the spread sheets for stats too thats so awesome . the tattoos are so one of those things i bet i'd try to decode i just go crazy lol

superr cool im currently watching the most recent ep and scrolling the shadows over welde tags on twitter because . the brainrot. is crazy enough to get me on twitter for once in ages LMAO . having a great time >:)) very excited to get more into the fandom its been too long since i theory crafted ehhehehee

[jackwolfes]

💥 🎀 🍉

[questions]

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

it is "the slow easing of coming home"! which is no real surprise because the pulleyverse is a very small fandom, so i am fully aware of why it has the kudos it does. i do think it's a wonderful lil fic, very tender and very soft 🥰

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i answered this before but another just because i can: i am very good at sex scenes. like by now i am confident saying i can give myself a good grade in being horny

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

i've actually been fairly open about this before but i started writing ACOTLD at a time where i was trying to process a very recent adhd diagnosis, most notably the ways in which that disability may have been the root cause of a LOT of (very traumatic) mental health issues ive had over my life. and like. idk it ended up being a big look at the emotional distress being neurodivergent has caused me 😂 now that it's pretty much all posted i feel like if you read it with the mindset of, "this was written by someone who is intimately aware of the difficulties of not knowing why they cant just regulate their emotions like everyone else, and can't just fix things that are so easy to other people" it's.... not hard to see the the thought processes behind the things i have jesper do and feel in that fic 😅 i've always kinda wanted to write a character study of jesper as "a guy with severe adhd" but i could never make it work, and i think i just needed the right setting.

[windmills123]

intrigued by what u love most abt yume nikki

like what made u go "oh damn this game is SUCH A GAME"

if u kno what i mean?

im glad you asked. well... holy fuck, i could talk about yume nikki for hours!! but... if i had to summarize it down, heere are some points:

its yume nikki!!! such a unique and different game from anything ive seen, even with its fangames. well if you look back at the gaming scene in 2004, then something like an rpg maker game thats NOT an rpg and actually a weird surrealism thingy was kind of crazy. it does seem to be inspired by the mother series, which has a lot of weird artsy stuff and also lsd dream emulator, also a game where you walk in dreams, which is self explanatory. also it utilizes rpgmaker mechanics in SUCH mindblowing ways, it doesnt even feel like it was made with it. it flows VERY well for a 2004 indie game.

the atmosphere and theming is so awesome. the NPCs who are completely indifferent to you, the worlds all connectin g together, etc. also, the art and music is really charming in kind of a nostalgic way, the aztec inspirations for the npcs, all the different sights and how desolate and lonely it feels, yet kind of still comforting. you know?? like the dreamworld is an escapism for madotsuki, but she still cant escape the horrors of reality..............

3. every part of it is very mysterious. a whole intigue of the game for many people has been what the dreams are really about!! of course there is also the developer kikiyama, who theres practically 0 info on. even though obviously people should respect their privacy, people still wonder what happened or why the game never got finished. i hope they're well....

4. the fanbase of yume nikki is one of the most cool ones ive seen. its one of those old fandoms from back in the 2000s that never stopped going, like touhou.. you can find a lot of old short little animations of yume nikki. theres the big viewed ones, but also ive found really obscure ones with under a 1000 viws, which shows how much people cared about it. even though the game was seen as dark, they were often really wholesome. theres also yume nikki fansites from back then, and a lot of cool fanart. even though the fandom was fairly small, its kind of like a window to how different the internet used to be. now its even more popular with internet horror stuff being more noticed recently.

its just really kind of heartwarming that so many people connected with a short game about isolation and anxiety posted on some forum site back in 2004 by an unknown person, i think.

5. the fangames!!!!!!!! there are so many fangames for this game, all because people liked the idea so much, hundreds of them wanted to try making one. ynfgs are always really charming to play, however none of them compare to yume 2kki ( the big one). its the closest ive ever felt to going to another world in a video game, even more than yume nikki itself.

because so many people have worked on it, 2kki has an endless seeming amount of content which is pretty awesome. some people think its incoherent because of how big the game is, but it always made it feel more like a dream to me. especially like one you would have as a child, falling asleep while being driven home from a birthday party or something like htat. fun fact: 2kki got started in 2007, before the final yume nikki update, which means there is a chance kikiyama might have even played it, which is pretty crazy...

well, thats my rambling about my favorite things about yume niki! lol i think thats too much text, oops. well, high five if you actually read that................. <:,-]

[zero-braincells-left]

hey zero!!! I just wanted to check in

are you doing alright? I've seen a couple of your posts recently and you seemed unwell (mentally) so I just wanted to make sure you are alright!

- (starting today) daily check in anon! 🩵

i mean ive been doing pretty good?? tbh whevener I post stuff I forget about it like ten minutes later most of the time so im assuming ur talking abt whatever it was when I wasn’t feeling great abt going back to school n shit and. it’s just like that every weekend ig

if you had a specific thing in mind that I’ve mentioned then uhhh?? ask I guess

venting adjacent?? not gonna tag this as a vent tho it’s more just me typing a lot

i don’t really post abt any actual problems i have which the main things rn ig are just

-friend I really care about has been calling me weird and really annoying more and more often (as i mentioned a few times here before it’s just like. being annoying is the only way i can show affection but it is uhhhh not effective with most people)

-haven’t been outright called annoying but feel like im being annoying and clingy to one of my friends and. I feel like he doesn’t like it when I hang out with him . the fact that i have a crush on him is not helping me in the slightest

-my old friend group is still an issue but I think it’s been bothering me less?? i mean it’s still gonna suck for a while. it sucks whenever i look at the messages they sent that I was not meant to see, and it sucks when i see my friends at school or even just do something that makes me think abt them like “oh. last time I went to the mall it was with them” and stuff. made a post on like November 30 I think abt just… this month and how. huh. the 8th was supposed to be our one year anniversary of being friends, which we only tracked because of when our discord server was made but. I deleted that and now im not even in the friend group and I wonder what they’re doing . overall yeah this still isn’t great and I know I can’t fix it but it hasn’t been weighing on me too heavily anymore

rlly other than that my problems consist of very small things regarding fandoms lmao but thank you 🩵

[cmdonovann]

okay so, ive been reblogging a lot of stuff from @fujowebdev this past month. in case i havent mentioned yet, yes, its because i am working on this project! (ive done some character design stuff for a few characters that havent been released yet, as well as some little illustrations for the kickstarter campaign, which you should check out here if you havent yet!)

(here's some of the art i did for the kickstarter, as seen here, and you can find a little more about what ive been doing for the project in this post.)

but you may be wondering why i am working on this project in the first place. well, good question! its basically a long series of random events that starts several years ago, so i wont bore you with that much detail, but the long and short of it is that i ended up joining a discord server called fandom coders for fandom folks who like coding and/or want to learn coding. (you can find them here, at their website, which i have also made some small contributions to!)

the fancoders are basically the coolest group of people ever; they've all been super nice, encouraging, and helpful! tbh, ive been feeling disillusioned by social media as a way of sharing my art for some time now, especially with the increase in sites that disallow/ban nsfw art in recent years, and the fandom coders discord (and especially ms boba, head of the kickstarter project and bobaboard) was more than happy to help me expand my skills so i could work on improving my own website. and the skill they helped me with that has been most vital... turned out to be learning how to use git and github!

so that brings us to the kickstarter. the main reason i've put off learning more about web development for many years was honestly just intimidation. i find a lot of resources that are supposedly aimed at people wanting to create websites are... really not all that friendly to amateurs or newbies! and for a long time, i had no one (and nowhere) to ask for help about this without being shamed for my lack of skill.

this is why i think a resource like the guide we are kickstarting is such a big deal, and why i was pretty much instantly down to volunteer my time towards making it a reality. i know there are TONS of other fandom folks out there who would love to make their own websites to showcase their love for their fandom, but not nearly enough resources that teach website-making skills in a way that is approachable and FUN.

(and fun is exactly what we are trying to make this! hence the hot anime boys.)

anyway, that's my pitch! if you haven't already, go check out our kickstarter! we're already fully funded, but we have a couple of stretch goals that i think are really cool, so any extra funding helps us get to those! the first volume of the book/zine we're making covers git and github, so that you can learn version control and make your websites without the fear of breaking your site while editing and not having any way to recover the old unbroken version (TTwTT)b we've all been there...

[loser-jpg]

THIS POSG IS OUTDATED, IGNORE IT

A lot of blogs seem to have intro posts so i decided to make one,

Hi im Loser, I write and draw so thats pretty much what im gonna be posting here. If anyone has prompts or ideas for me I'd love to hear them, or if you have questions i have the ask thing open.

Im in a lot of fandoms but mainly stranger things NOW TWISTED WONDERLAND :DD so thats gonna be most of my content. Im trans(he/it) and aroace spec. I might post cool photos I take or stuff like that too.

Really I just put up the stuff I want to share and if that happens to be stuff you like then thats great!

Ive had the ask box open but recently ive been trying to get myself to write more so if ppl have small prompts or reqs id love that, ill write for basically any fandom ive posted about but mostly prob twisted wonderland and stranger things. ill write x reader stuff but only gn reader or masc.

NEW EDIT: sideblogs!!!!

my orv brainrot side blog: @king-of-a-kingless-world

my war against tumblr bots side blog: @deathtothebots

my new side blog for my ocs aka willow night: town of landlock: @willow--night

tged side blog: @shovel-hooligan-frontera

Fic Master list

Ao3

And for a Moment, there was Hope:

Just a Favor:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

other socials:

ao3: loser_jpg

tiktok: loser__jpg

insta: loser__jpg

cohost: loser-jpg

moot list because god damn theres a lot of you and i cant keep track:

lemonnya (irl)

rougeddie (stranger things)

transfem-2d (just tumblr stuff)

girlynb (ok ko)

navnae (stranger things)

shanedoesdoodles (ok ko)

kikizu (ok ko)

devondespresso (stranger things)

meowloomeow (just tumblr stuff)

the--falling--titan (irl)

demonlike-judge-of-fire (ORV :DD)

rhaenyyras (stranger things)

queen-shiba (twisted wonderland)

leonistic (twisted wonderland)

azulashengrottospiano (twisted wonderland)

officialdaydreamer00 (just tumblr stuff / twst)

the-flags (just tumblr stuff/orv/tged)

disteluria (WAKFU MOOT LETS GOOO)

fungifanart (tmblr stuff/twst)

[ca-3]

Do you have any Servamp blogs you recommend? Ive been super into Servamp since it started but not like active in the fandom at all

Honestly I haven't been as involved in the fandom recently 🥲 and the fandom isn't as active as it used to be and it was already so small 😭 but there's still some who post often in the main tag, and you'll easily find them there! If you're looking for blogs that are mainly servamp that is.

But I do have a few personal faves, but i don't think all of them are strictly servamp blogs. But I like @/lia-snow, @/sweetjijisama, @/ino-fujiwara, @/danozi1, @/l-darklilac-l and so on... those are ones I've been following for a long time and can think of off the top of my head.

@/cnr-golden and @/callmejunny has cute stuff that I've found recently too! Also @/strawbegi, @/jayactionart, and @/random-husky I'm also totally not looking through my more recent servamp reblogs for names right now too because I can't remember names lol

@/kanamusings and @/hello-vampire-kitty offer translations for the servamp manga and other servamps media such as drama cds, interviews, bonus comics and land of nod events! Mostly anything that's official servamp stuff. @/servamp-announcements also translates stuff, but mostly official tweets from the creator Tanaka Strike and the other official servamp accounts.

Those are all I can think of right now,, but I think these are a pretty good place to start! I'm sure a lot of these will lead you of more servamp peeps as well hehe ✨️

[daftpuppy]

hey so im new to the fandom cause i realized i am into it.. May i ask , if its normal to just have a default kink? I vividly remember watching videos about this before I was conscious, and id grind.. I, personally dont enjoy it, cause i find it weird, and a lot does too... im just turned on by it and idk why.. 😭😭😭

im going to be straight with you, I def not the best person to ask this question to at all! Hell i would 100% recommend asking anyone else.

i myself am still rather 'new' to the kink community as an whole (technically ive been doing this shit for years but im super on and off with it so i dont really count it)

but ill try to give some sort of answer (i would highly recommend asking others and looking at articles/reasearch papers so dont just take my word and run with it cause im probs wrong).

This is my first time hearing the term 'default kink' but i assume it mainly refers to having a kink in concept. Like how you would tell someone you liked piss broadly than saying omo specifically (I could be 100% wrong, i would greatly appreciate it if someone could tell me the true definition cause i couldnt find any thing about that term TT). Which in that sense i would thinks its fine, like imo its fine to have a kink that you dont really want to participate in but find it hot.

(From this point onwards Im mainly talking out of my ass, feel free to skip if its not really answering your question cause it probably isnt. Im just one passionate bitch who cant stay on topic)

For the later part of your question, i totally get it. Omorashi for me was something that turned me on but i also felt so disgusted by it for the longest time which caused me to basically stop doing it cause i thought it was 'too weird' and disgusting. It really wasnt until recently where I realised who gives a shit if its werid, and I starting seeing more posts on Twitter about kinks and taboo which only really pushed me further down the rabbit hole...again.

I think everyone has a right to think something theyre into is too werid and begin to hate it because of the way it turns you on, but i think a lot of it involves getting rid of societal expectations and just being you. Cause no matter what kink you have, if its piss or not, 99% of society will hate it and think you are weird for it. You cant please everyone but you can please yourself.

For you since you dont enjoy it cause you find it werid but get turned on by it, it can be a slippery slope. It may be a thing were you dont like participating im omo but like watching it, or maybe you prefer controlling. Idk thats for you to find out if you even want to.

Again, DO NOT TAKE WHAT I SAY AT FACE VALUE! Do more reasearch cause im a stranger on the internet, not some kink professional. When it was me in that position all it took was a mindset change. Realising that I should be able to indulge myself and not feel 'dirty' for it, letting myself understand that yes, a piss kink is weird, but it feels good to me so I should let myself experiment even if i end up concluding it wasnt for me. But it may not be the same for you and thats ok.

I cant really give you a definate answer cause i feel like its a pretty personal journey you have to take. You know, start out small and see how it goes.

anyway sorry about my college theis. Hopes it helps, im really just talking about of my ass rn. If theres someone who has a better take feel free to add, idk if i even answered the question lmao 😭

[meowingfawn]

my relation to my fict. types

a little self explanatory, a post about (at least some of) what connects me to my ficto kintypes honestly for some it isnt super clear, brain just went 'me'. i think ill leave the ones that have that feeling out since i wont really have much to say about them

i think all of these guys also have the feeling of "thats me" so i wont be including that in the info, but i do feel connected to them all with a sense of, thats me.

with that stated, lets start!

frisk

trauma, also probably influenced by a connection to undertale as a whole. i think the other ways i feel like them other than trauma are like, appearance, feeling pure of heart in a way while also feeling like you are the farthest from innocent. undertale feels like a familiar place to me, even though i actually was never heavily involved the fandom (and i dont even know all/majority of the lore! ive never done a genocide run, or seen a playthrough of one. just bits and pieces of a lot of lore)

steven universe

trauma heavily, its actually kind of weird how similar our traumas are, as well as literally so many small aspects of our lives. i could go on and on about things in our lives that are basically mirrored but not sure if i would feel comfortable with that lmao. other than that, yet again i am very bonded to steven universe as a franchise. the places dont feel the same as undertale, i can assume this is because undertale is a game and i usually feel like i am 'there' when im playing games, and shows you dont really get that, more so just observing everything. (unless you make fan content or indulge in fanfiction ofc)

twice/jin bubaigawara

trauma and sense of identity. i have really weird system stuff that i feel relates to twice's experiences. also, strange addition to this but i find that i do the back and forth with myself like twice does, im not sure if its my tics or what but sometimes i will just say stuff that sounds aggressive and i follow it up by something more sweet, or trying to comfort or apologize to whatever i just insulted or complained about (its like. almost always not actually a person). not sure if ive done that recently, tbh i dont pay attention to it much anymore.

himiko toga

honestly, i feel her obsessive behavior very much, its somewhat a cope on my end but mentally ill as i am i have become very obsessed with people like this sometimes! as well as just. being very not normal about men sometimes, plinKing rn. (/ref) this one is pretty personal to me but i feel like i take some comfort in relating to toga. i do feel like i have been doing better mentally when it comes to this stuff, but it still makes me feel better to hold her close in my mind and know she is just like me.

tomura shigaraki

i need to rewatch mha. i need to rewatch mha...i dont remember that much about this kin feeling- i think honestly it was getting muddled between system-related stuff and kin stuff, but i do still feel a connection to shigaraki, i feel like its wishy washy on if he feels like 'me' or not. still included it for the sake of saying this

gir

EXTREME silly, just like me. weirdly emotionally shifting between upset and silly, and also sometimes serious. relate. also i am such a little guy, i am !!!!!

[milfygerard]

Kelly! Tysm for adding ur thoughts!

i think this line about how "a lot of people are only comfortable engaging with Taylor’s work within the very tight framework of heterosexuality." is not just extremely true, but is true on just about every level. Swiftieism, it can feel sometimes, is aggressively self policed on a broad level. It seems that swifties as a generalized group are only comfortable engaging with taylors work within a very tight framework of conformity, even if it isn't something believed to be problematic or negative on a personal level. Queerness, mental health and neurodiversity, addiction, racism and white normativity, expectations for women, gender in general, class, the complications of interpersonal relationships ESPECIALLY regarding marriage , the difficulties of culpability, social isolation, childhood and adult traumas and how they echo forward, the living nightmare it is to have even (especially) a loving audience, the necessity of lying and obfuscation if you want to maintain that audience, theyre all topics that could be touched on and dissected in TTPD-TA alone, nevermind the rest of taylors extremely broad catalogue. If you try to discuss most if not all of these topics and your blog has an audience of more than 3 people, however, you are liable to start getting angry or aggressive or trolling anons pushing against you even trying to discuss these things in too much detail. This, from my view at least, built a sort of panopticon style self policing if you want to exist in the actual swiftie fandom on any sort of broader level outside of yourself or a very small group of friends/mutuals both online and in a physical space.

This honestly massively limits just how much analysis can even be done on a broader scale! For how huge and ubiquitous taylor is, it feels like popular critical discussion and interaction has only been ramping up recently (SO excited for that taylor poetry book) and part of that is just because of how difficult it is to talk about taylors music at all without facing major backlash and scrutiny either from people who love her or people who hate her. Combine that w the reactionary requirements of reviews and journalism ESPECIALLY music journalism really restricts album reviews from diving past the surface level.

Im gonna use this as an excuse to once again shill for my favorite music reviewer spectrum pulse, who really does apporach taylors art as a piece of artistic work to be analyzed. I dont agree with him nearly all the time but honestly I think thats a good thing. Posting his reviews on midnights and TTPD below bc theyre some of my favorites of each respective album.

also on a final note as i run out of steam: it is kind of funny how this sort of makes swifties broadly miss pretty obvious, easy to assume or observe aspects of taylors life (alcoholism, her rs w joe dissolving, her worsening mental health) and get totally blindsided when she started stating these things about herself directly and still on some level seem to be in denial (ive seen ppl get hate for talking about taylor having depression? its the third word in the third line of the lead single for midnights girl cmon) about these things being real

I have been thinking a lot about the discussion on @milfygerard ‘s blog about the lack of Taylor Swift rpf but how a lot of the same mechanisms of rpf is actually a really big part of the content on here focused on Taylor

but instead of openly talking about Taylor Swift the fictional character we think we know via her music and career, so much of Swiftism focuses on deriving the ‘true meaning’ of her lyrics/her art

There is a think a lot of reward in this fandom particularly when engaging with the idea that we somehow know Taylor Swift the person through engaging with her art. I’ve talked about this before but it’s clear to me as a queer fan seeing how gaylor is treated on here that a lot of people are only comfortable engaging with Taylor’s work within the very tight framework of heterosexuality.

Now I wonder if that comes from fans that believe they would somehow ‘know’ if their idol was a queer a woman, that they are so so attached to the specific image of her they have in her head that even someone else thinking she could be queer or her music could be queer feels like violence, like ripping at the threads of the reality they think is true

I don’t really know what I’m saying with all this other than I’d like it on record I am engaging with Taylor Swift the fictional character and not Taylor Swift the real human being because I do not know her and will never know her!!!! But I know the version of her I have in my head from the decade plus of engaging with her music/art and that for me is much more fun than trying to guess the reality of a woman I do not know

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)

[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)

Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel

Ship: Jon/Martin

In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)

Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Ship: implied Jon/Martin

Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.

All goes as it should.

At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.

(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)

A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit

“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)

See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World

Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks

When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.

(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Ship: Jon/Martin

“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.

“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”

Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.

“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)

Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs

Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie

Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.

Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.

Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.

“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”

(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)

-

[Supernatural]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz

Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:

1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.

For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)

anamnesis by cenotaphy

Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen

Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.

* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.

(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)

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[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor

Ship: Sokka/Zuko

When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.

Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)

-

[Naruto]

Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia

Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC

"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."

(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso

Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC

When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC

(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)

Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness

Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.

She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.

It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.

(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)

(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)

-

[The Magicians]

So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)

Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot

When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.

So he makes a third choice.

(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)

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[Game of Thrones]

The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey

Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]

(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)

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[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)

Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks

Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)

Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.

In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.

(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)

(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)

Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)

Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru

On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.

It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.

(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)

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[Crossover]

Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers

Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter

Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.

(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)

An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.

(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)

The Favour by R_Cookie

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter

Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.

or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.

(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)

baby that's what i do by natanije

Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"

Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.

"Huh. I guess I do."

(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)