#as requested by you lovely people on tumblr!

[thefrogman]

Back in the olden days, if you used the "keep reading" function on a Tumblr-dot-com post, it would

not get very many notes.

At all.

I am not sure exactly why.

I think people hated pressing an extra thing.

But maybe it was also a psychological phenomenon where, given the choice, they were unwilling to trust me with their time.

But if I sucked them in with a good story or a compelling image, they would get serious FOMO.

When I created a super high effort post-of-length I would get comments like, "This was way too long but before I realized it I was reading the last sentence."

That was a really good feeling.

I used to do tests to figure out the best posting strategies and I think I figured out you'd lose about 90% of your notes if you did a "keep reading" post.

So that notion was ingrained in my brain again and again from when I was very note-obsessed and I have since avoided the "keep reading" option almost like a conditioned response.

Just seeing that squiggly line appear still induces a Pavlovian fear.

But that was probably a decade ago and I did a new experiment. My story about replacing my mailbox did reasonably well with a strategically clickbaity "keep reading."

This was a promising result due to the fact that some people like to send me hate for writing a lengthy post.

I recently got a death threat for writing too much, which was a fun reminder of my M&M days (I melted men's rights activists' brains with a poorly worded analogy and they launched a years long harassment campaign).

It seems in present-era-Tumblr-dot-com many more people prefer pressing an extra thing rather than scrolling a bunch on their smartphone. The collective behavior has changed. And maybe I don't need to use tricks and running gags in order to get folks to "keep reading".

Unfortunately I started writing that ring light post a few months ago so I wasn't able to include that in the experiment. But I am going to try using the keep reading function in the future and as long as the average number of folks that usually read my longer posts continue to read my posts, that will be the standard approach.

I also tag these posts with "long post" so you can flag that if you wish.

While I am no longer in the audience-building phase of my Tumblr career, these essays and stories and educational posts take a considerable amount of time and effort to create, so I do want to make sure everyone who wants to read them is able to. But posts without hearts and reblogs can quickly die a gruesome algorithmic death. Even my most ardent followers would tell me things were not showing up on their dash. (I think replies help mitigate that, so if you like a long post, you can help with engagement.)

The collective noun is a "business" of ferrets.

Do you want to see a business of ferrets ready to do some business?

KEEP READING

I love writing and it is a huge catharsis for me. And I love sharing any knowledge I feel like I have the earned expertise to speak on with authority (technology, photography, light, fun ferret facts, etc). I wish I had the energy to be a photography teacher, but long posts on Tumblr are probably the best I can do for now.

I know my posts are super long, but I try to make them as fun and informationally dense as I possibly can. I don't like wasting people's time if I can avoid it. Though maybe I should trust my follower's attention span a bit more. I have this fear that if I am not constantly entertaining, people will click away or unfollow.

I think a good business for a business of ferrets would be selling pool noodles that look like ferrets.

So as long as I get roughly the same amount of notes I will do the keep reading. And then maybe people can lay off on the mean comments and occasional requests to end my own life because I bloviated about soft light.

100% true ferret fact..

If you ask a ferret what their business is, they will crawl on your shoulder and whisper in your ear...

[iid-smile]

#08 ୨ৎ ⸝⸝ @meidiary ⋆

i think im in luv with u... 😪 mei is a 10/10 guys!! certified cutie ☺️ idk who i was expecting you to pick, but inumaki 😆😆 one of my favs fr! and i was so excited to do 23 for some reason... you're the first one to request it 👏 all of them are headcanons 🙂‍↕️ (tumblr keeps not saving what i put down its stressing me out!!!)

#18 🍓 | protecting you

im sorry, but inumaki can be such a scaredy cat sometimes...

he'd be afraid, but still step up and get in between you and whatever is the threat

doesn't consider his own safety and wellbeing in the process either... he always puts others first, and a little bit of throat pain is much better than you getting hurt

100% mans up against insects because you hate them

gets intimated when he's up against a muscular 6ft guy, but has a eureka moment and uses his cursed speech. easy win

theres also other things he'd protect you from too, like pulling you away from hot oil and flames if you're cooking together. he's got spidey senses (according to him)

the cold is also something he'd protect you from. always makes sure you have a warm coat, scarf, gloves, and everything. i think inumaki really likes earmuffs too, because then he can whisper about how much he loves you and you wouldn't hear a thing

#20 🍦 | love language

physical touch + quality time

a mixture of both

the two of you could lay around for hours, and he'd just listen to you talk as you both cuddle. when you're both into a particular show or series, snuggling in bed when you're both supposed to be sleeping hits different

if you're on public transport or aimlessly walking around, he'll hold your hand, but it's more like he's holding it from behind rather than actual handholding.

silence with him is always comfortable, and you completely tune out from the rest of the world whenever you're with him

gift giving

he gifts you snacks a lot. even better if he specifically gets ones with pink packaging

not the best with fashion but he tries for you. he would buy you a turtleneck just like his but a different colour and patterned

not the best with fashion, but he tries. at first, he'd literally buy you any clothes that are pink, and gets so confused when it's not your style. he gets it eventually, don't worry

matching shoes are a must! not the exact same shoe as you, but the same colour

pranks

not really a love language but aha

he loves it too much when he scares you with bugs, especially ones that fly. craneflies are the worst, because they're relatively easy to pick up and hold compared to flies or other flying creatures

he'll grab it by the leg and chase you around with it. sometimes he'll cup his hands together and pretend he has one because he finds it funny

he doesn't do anything with spiders because you're both scared of them

he actually would love it when you prank him back. scaring him from behind by shaking his shoulders is the best way to get him

#23 🍦 | your romance trope / dynamic

friends to lovers / mutual friends

he wouldn't date anybody he doesn't know well

since you're friends with a lot of people, there's no way he hasn't heard about you, and you happened to meet by chance

maybe coincidentally crossing paths and your extroverted self just had to say hello.

as soon as you both realise you have a mutual friend, the friendship blossoms and grows quick

the way he cares for you is so clear to everyone else except for you, but when somebody points it out, you can tell

sunshine x enthusiastic but silent enabler

inumaki is already a silly guy, and he just gets sillier

the conversations you have are always energetic, engaging and exciting, even with the language barrier, so he's pulling out ingredients that nobody's ever heard him say before. essentially, you're the only two that actually can understand

his energy immediately springs up whenever he gets to hang out with you. he can go from 0 to 100 in a split second, and that needs to be studied

he really doesn't mind how much you talk, since he likes to listen

#24 🍦 | when they're jealous

it's hard to see his face when his mouth and eyebrows are both covered, so you're only depending on the eyes. or if he tells you himself

if he wants to get out of a situation to feel more at ease, he'll tug on your sleeve or fingers

"🤬"

that's literally all he sends you over text or shows you on notes, and when you look over at him, it's really obvious that he's upset. (to you, at least)

will have a whole debate with you on why, how and what he's jealous about. small or big, it doesn't matter

when he gets the most jealous is if you're paying too much attention to something else in general

like, if you're sitting a bit too far to each other and you're on your phone, he'd pull you closer so you'd be right by his side, silently asking for you to talk to him a bit

event masterlist

[inbabylontheywept]

I love your writing. It’s the type of writing that I love bc other than being easy to read, I admire it bc it accomplishes what I struggle with. It uses few words yet conveys across the idea efficiently, vagueness to its benefit.

Have you heard the phrase “I want to distill myself like poets do”? It comes from a tumblr post of someone trying to express the same thing as me rn.

Anyway the other part of what I wanted to say is that I’m autistic, and when I try to write, I always succumb to the urge to add as many details and overexplanations as possible to avoid being misunderstood. You’re autistic too, but your writing shines in doing the opposite, so I was wondering if you struggled with this too, and how you got better, or if your flavor of autism simply doesn’t manifest in this way and this isn’t a problem to you

Unfortunately, I do naturally tend towards condensed formats. So some part of this is just natural for me. If it makes you feel better, I tried several times to make serials while doing HFY and I never succeeded. I've also tried several times to write books, and I always just get kind of stuck. It's one of my big regrets, so if you have any experience in those, I'd love to hear it. Same from anyone else reading this, actually - if you've made the jump from short stories to long form, I'd like to know how you managed.

Still, despite it being a natural thing for me, I can give you three activities that I've done that improved my short story work very much.

First, improv classes. Attending them will help your writing in ways you will not believe, and also, as an autist, that shit's better than OT. My parents signed me up for some in the summer of my fifth grade year, and they were legit life changing. Way less social anxiety, better writing, I could sing their praises all day. If you do one thing on this list, do this.

Second, write poetry. I do not consider myself a poet, but I attend a weekly poetry writing club, and it has noticeably improved my prose. Find one and go. As you get better, try and constrain the poetry you write to things like rhyme and meter. Writing with artificial constraints is amazing for teaching people to be focused and direct.

And if you have room for a third thing, maybe try finding a way to do extemporaneous public speaking besides the improv. I grew up Mormon, which involves absolutely insane amounts of public speaking from an early age, but I also did stuff like that in middle school NAL and high school speech and debate. Those all helped. They were stressful, and not terribly fun, but they did help, and it's a good skill to have.

I love talking shop, so thanks for asking! And just to reiterate my request from before, anyone that's jumped from short stories to novel length works, please, tell me your secrets. Plz.

[bunnis-monsters]

Good morning, I hope you're doing well.

I've been a shy onlooker of your work for quite some time, however as of recently I've been noticing with a couple of the bee-hybrid ficlets that you've been writing, one or two of them that involved (specifically) child/infant characters were tagged with the 'monster fucker' and various such related tags..?

I love the bee stuff, I do! Please don't take this as a hate message because I really don't mean for it to come off as such. But if you're going to include infant/child characters under the age of 18 in your fics, please don't include them in NSFW scenarios, fics, or situations or put them in NSFW tags. I don't think that's entirely legal in some places and I say that out of the goodness of my heart for your protection and your readers.

There was a woman banned off Youtube who was criminally charged for breastfeeding her child and uploading it and I know this is in no way as severe but I honestly don't want to see you get banned and all your fics wiped off tumblr because you put 'minor characters' in NSFW situations/tags. :(

You could try maybe just not tagging the stuff with baby bees?? You have a huge follow base and a discord (that i'm too shy to join) so I'm sure people would still find that content if they're following you.

I'm sorry for bothering you, I hope you have a good day.

Uh.

I tag all of my fics as monster fucking… because that’s the genre. The baby bees are a result of said monster fucking.

I specifically use monster fucking on all of my posts so people who don’t like the monster fucking genre can easily filter my posts out.

I do not include any smut tags like I do on my other posts, and SPECIFICALLY tag them as “monster sfw” or “monster fluff” when I remember.

Not only have I never sexualized or plan on sexualizing the baby bees, if you or anyone else sees anything regarding them as sexual… idk what to say. They’re the most innocent posts on my page.

Read my REQUEST INFO so you can understand that I do not write for pedophilic relationships or situations. The baby bees are children.

I think you’re reading a bit into it. I’m not sure about that case of a YouTuber being banned for breast feeding, but that’s a real person with real children. These are fanfics. There could have been more behind that, and I know for sure there are cases where parents exploit their children on the internet in ways that are in the grey area, like for example, breastfeeding them and sexualizing it purposefully(breastfeeding isn’t inherently sexual, but it can be sexualized and sold as such to an audience) or having them do things that are suggestive for their pedophile audience to continue using them as a cash cow.

This is not that. The baby bees are fictional, and not once have they been sexualized. I am not interested in doing so. They’ll still be under the monster fucker tag because the baby bees are tied to the bee hybrids which ARE very NSFW. It’s a genre.

I use tags that relate to my post and can help them be easily filtered by those that DON’T want to see my content.

Never ask something like this again, it made me deeply uncomfortable.

[aayakashii]

Excuse me, tumblr user aayakashii, but if I could ask for a morsel of content? I made a post about king jin x court jester reader and mentioned how it would be an interesting yandere dynamic. Your name got mentioned, and then I also saw you had liked it, so if you had any thoughts? That? Would be cool?

But absolutely no pressure! I was just curious about what a yandere dynamic would look like when jin is obsessed with someone who does fit the servant role.

Sorry for the rambling! Thank you for reading my request, and I hope it finds you well! And please feel free to go as dark as you want with it if the mood strikes you

-@lucky-lucky-duck☆ (user name change ^^")

Of course tumblr user @lucky-lucky-duck 🫡

Okay I had to think looooong and haaaaard about this one because it's an interesting concept, but, as you said, it can turn dark very quickly. I'm not sure if I analyzed it properly tbh, but I hope this gives you a nice idea of how I think the dynamic would go.

First, Jin as a yandere in his usual setting would probably be an extremely controlling man. He'd demand MC to be at his beck and call at any given moment and would probably tell them what they can or cannot do, what to wear, what to say, basically how exist as "his property".

I've had someone say that it's a bit upsetting that the boys as yanderes see MC as an object to possess, but that's just how most yanderes act; they might love their darling, but most of all, they're obsessed – they want to possess them. It's the nature of a yandere character, so I'd have to say Jin would be the blueprint for that.

Now, in that king x court jester dynamic, things would escalate A LOT MORE.

I researched the accurate definition of what a jester used to do, and they used to be "a member of the household of a nobleman or a monarch employed to entertain guests during royal court."

Okay, well. Forget about entertaining other people. You'd be Jin's personal plaything, and no one else would be allowed to watch your lovely acts. And of course, that would allow him to demand more intimate ways of entertainment too...

You'd have to be ready to be his pillow; to light his cigarettes; to smother him in kisses and sweet words whenever he got stressed; to follow him around wherever he went like a loyal puppy; and, just like one, he'd expect you to never complain.

You're the king's favorite, how dare you complain about not being free? You have privileges no other jester could ever have!

And what if the king had a queen? Well, that would not matter at all. You'd still be tied to him, even if he was married to someone. The king's consort would sit beside him, but you'd be perched on his lap, petting his hair and being entirely open to his touches.

You're just a jester after all, and he's the king. No one bats an eye, even as he holds you so possessively.

Jin would be quicker to ditch his consort than let go of you, but he would rather not admit it.

If anyone wants to marry him, they have to understand that he's just too attached to his little pet. See, they're so cute, so entertaining, so welcoming to his touches. How could he ever let them go?

Basically, being the king's jester would be akin to having a collar and a leash on your neck forever. The most powerful man would be able to move mountains just to have you under his constant watch. You'd have no freedom, and his obsession would be overlooked. You'd have no one to save you and nowhere to run.

But that's what you wanted, right?

[theholmwoodfoundation]

Q: I must ask you, Ms Harker, how did Bram Stoker’s story of Dracula get published? Is it true you and your friends were the inspiration?

[MINA LAUGHS] Oh, my dear Bram! I remember when we first met in Cruden Bay in Scotland for a trip and we got on so well. I then invited him to visit me in Whitby, which is where I moved to support Arthur’s new venture after the Carpathians. Bram was very curious about our story,  and we…well, I suppose one thing led to another, and he was anxious to tell a version of it, mostly fabricated you understand, of his very own. To incorporate it into a tale of horror he was already writing. I must admit I was sceptical at first, but the idea intrigued me. Of course, in our real-world story, there was no monstrous being known as Count Dracula, no vampires, and no magic. Just a group of unlikely individuals and a rather terrible set of circumstances. But Arthur convinced me it would aid us in establishing the Foundation, and nothing in the world meant more to us than that. So we gave Bram permission to use our likenesses, and he even studied our writings and manners to ensure he could capture us on the page. I remember discussing with Arthur if we should have changed our names, changed who we were, but the release of the story, outrageous and horrifying as some of the details were, did introduce more people to the importance of blood and blood work. We were able to find many patrons to support us due to the release of Dracula, and while it has certainly made my life much stranger than it could have been, I was never truly upset by the book's legacy. I know Abraham - Professor Van Helsing's – nieces and nephews love to see how their uncle is presented as this dramatic vampire hunter! Sometimes, I wish Bram hadn’t changed so many details, particularly the ending, but I am not myself a writer, so I had faith in his words. Given the loss of my dear husband, Jonathan, at just 24 years old, I sometimes feel that a part of him lives on, caught like a pressed flower between the pages of that book. All I know for sure is that I have faith in what Arthur, Abraham, Jack, and I have created. We are honoured to work with the public to save lives, as we have done for the last 40 years.

-Transcript from BBC National Programme Radio Interview with Dame Mina Harker, Pub 1930

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

TFA Blitzwing

[anonymouscheeses]

why does Vaggie take Drugs?

Ooof... this is a doozy! Get ready for depressed Vaggie/Valerie! CHAGGIE HUMAN AU LES GO

(Tw: massive talk about drugs n smokin! Like- its literally the main focus 😭)

Valerie used to smoke just to fit in with her friends Adam and Lute, plus the "exterminators" (which I will get into I think next request eheheh 😈). But now that they had a fall out with eachother, she relies on them heavily for other means. She has grown to use them for her anxiety(which, yes, she does have anxiety. It's hell, me and her are twins), although she has become SUPER reliant on them that she goes to any means to get them. Like going to the secret drug dealer that is Anthony(Angel Dust by most). Since he's pretty much everywhere and nowhere at all times, it's like if she wants drugs he is immediately there. It's creepy but it gets the job done I guess.. 😭

(He 100% cares and worries about her. Like, he loves when they talk and tease eachother, they have like a little sibling thing going on and he genuinely thinks of her like a little sister. Maybe cos his sister is dead but like let's move on from that right 😍)

Charlie HATES drugs. Not even hates, she DESPISES them. She tries to get Valerie to stop, but to no avail of course. Despite their differences, Charlie attempts to fit in with her.

It obviously goes to crap. Girl CANNOT and WILL NOT use that "devils dandruff" 😔🙏

(Wym girly- ignore the first image 😍 I just want to go for a peaceful vibe in their "friend" ship. Like they go to the mall, go get ice cream, get in trouble even if Charlie doesn't want to. They are goals fr fr I think im gonna draw them doing random stuff. WHICH REMINDS ME! IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM GO TO A PLACE PLSS REQUEST! I WANT TO SBB I WILL ANYWAY BUT LIKE- ANYTHING SPECIFIC IDC <3)

What DOES she not understand? Sure Valerie is at a rough time where she feels she has to rely on a substance to keep sane. But.... Charlie doesn't know that. She just simply doesn't know how to understand a person's feelings. Let alone her own.

[kheprriverse]

Last two months a couple of my members have requested loz stuff! MM Link (Forest in my au + Tatl) in February, then Tatl and Cedar for March!

-> Monthly rewards can be found here! It's mostly sketches of requested characters, usually busts. But I sometimes go overboard either because I feel like it or because the requester is paying over the membership amount and I feel bad.

-> Consider supporting me on Ko-fi! You don't have to; following me here, liking, reblogging, and interacting is perfectly fine and still supports me!

[raineandsky]

could we get a vampire hero

i do love a good vampire >:) thank you for the request!

tw: death, blood, violence

-

It’s a miracle the villain’s still alive.

Villainy is a bad place to be right now. Most of their comrades have met fate with the heroes by now. Or one of them, at least—one hero in particular seems happy to take all the credit.

Jet-black night is the only time that the villain feels safe leaving the association’s little base anymore. They dread the day necessity forces them from their little bubble of safety each week.

Today is another one of those days. The night is dark, the streets are deserted, and the villain is making their haphazard dart across town.

They're halfway home when a shadow flits out the corner of their eye.

They pause on the edge of a lamppost’s traitorous glow. Don’t give yourself away, instinct screams at them. Don’t make yourself easy. Stick to the gloom.

Another shadow. Closer. They flinch before they can stop themself.

“A villain’s braving the streets.” The voice is no more than a whisper in the villain’s ear. “Daring, aren’t we?”

The villain can’t lurch away fast enough. The hero stands behind them, an innocent smile on his face and a victorious gleam in his eye. They only get a glimpse of this before he shoves them back, sending them stumbling into a narrow alleyway. Out of the road. Out of sight.

 Panic floods them before self preservation can think to intervene.

They turn to bolt but the hero’s faster. Unnaturally so. His hand snatches their arm as they barely turn on their heel, thrusting them into the wall behind them. Their breath is knocked out of them with the force, and in the moment it takes them to remember how to breathe the hero’s already closed the space between them.

“Now, what’s a pretty thing like you doing out tonight?” he asks smoothly. “Can’t be anything good, I’m sure.”

The villain’s mind can’t keep up. This hero—the one who takes all the credit. The one who’s been killing the villain’s friends and the agency’s been letting him. Fucking so-called heroes.

They need to get away. Now.

The bone-crushing grip on their shoulder is elbowing most escape plans out the window. “I’m robbing a bank,” the villain spits sarcastically. Fuck, their voice hitched on that last word.  Fear. The hero smiles.

An idle finger trails down the side of their face. “I wouldn’t want to intrude,” he continues breezily as he lets his nail nick at the top of their throat, “but I don’t let crime slide.”

The villain swallows nervously and the hero watches delightedly as their throat bobs with the motion. His hand gently rolls over their neck, resting momentarily on their pulse. His smile is turning more and more unnerving with every passing second.

He leans forward to tuck his face into their neck, and for a moment the villain can only think to vaguely stifle the confused yelp trying to come out their mouth. The hero sighs as they try to push him back, grabbing their wrist to block their efforts with terrifying ease.

“Your scent is fucking intoxicating,” the hero says after a moment. “What’s your blood type?”

“B-, I think,” the villain answers before they can realise how ludicrous the question is.

“Rare,” the hero murmurs like a prayer.

The villain feels teeth nip against their skin and they can’t stop the surprised noise falling out of them this time. The hero’s teeth are fucking sharp.

“Now,” the hero continues lightly. His hand tightens on their wrist, his lips brushing over their neck like a mockery of a kiss. “Why don’t we relieve you of your sins?”

That’s a threat, the villain’s instinct is shrieking. Get out get out get out get out.

The villain wriggles in his grip once more. It’s like they’re held in place by stone. Their struggles are in vain.

“I—” Their voice trips over a knot of terror. “You can’t fucking—”

The villain feels something sharp piercing their skin and words evaporate. All their throat can produce is a short gasp, equally startled and agonised. The hero hums into their neck pleasantly.

It feels like an eternity before the hero pulls away from them. It takes a moment to realise through the half-conscious haze that the blood staining his lips is theirs.

“You're nicer like this,” he says into the fog. “I can enjoy the view without having to worry about what’s coming out of your mouth to ruin it.”

The villain works their jaw slightly. Thinking is not at the forefront of their mind.

“The agency employs fucking murderers now,” they say weakly. The hero frowns, almost disappointed.

“Oh.” The villain feels a hand on them again, but they can barely find the strength to push it away. “I didn’t do enough.”

The second time is worse than the first. They’re vaguely aware of one hand balling in the hero’s shirt, the other twisting desperately in his grip. His own palms are freezing against them, the only thing they can focus on beyond the white-hot pain flaring in their neck. Some sound like a dying animal tears from their throat that the hero happily ignores.

The end isn’t kind, or quick. By the time the hero lets them slump down onto the pavement, their breath is short, their eyes glazed over. Blood trickles a deceptively thin trail into the neck of their shirt.

They could survive yet, but they’d be luckier if they didn’t. The hero always enjoyed the challenge of guessing who would make it. At this time, in an alley, though, he’s willing to bet money on the villains losing another by morning.

He squats down to run his thumb through the line of blood on their skin. Their eyes turn to him at the contact, kind of, but they’re not really looking at him. He sticks his finger in his mouth like he’s cleaning the last of the sauce off his plate. What a divine meal.

“The agency doesn’t employ murderers, by the way,” the hero tells the villain idly. “They employ people who get the job done.”

[jothemouse]

Req: Canada being sassy in jorts?

i hope this is sassy enough for ya lmaooooooooooooooooooo

[booplesnotts-art]

𝑳𝒆𝑹𝒐𝒖𝒙

Ik you all like my good omens stuff more but I wanted to quickly paint one of my doodles of my girlie Avalon for fun between working and school and felt like posting it here cause I love her🖤

Don’t know how much I like how I did this one but I wanted to post something here👍

[redvelvetbunny]

what brushes do you use and what program? btw love the art 🫶

i use procreate with a mix of the default brushes and these specific brushes/brush packs! 🫶 square brushes Are my Bestest Friend.

jingsketch brushes are also pretty great but i got them when they were at a much much lower price 😭

i always use a HUGE (i’m not kidding) amount of references while i draw and i reference off of other peoples styles in order to curate the one i liked the most ^_^ have fun!!

[businesscasualart]

I’m curious if you have any thoughts or headcanons about Onslaught and alcohol. I imagine being a semi-functioning evil team is stressful and if Psimon is chucking everyone’s vapes then cigs and 420 isn’t an option, then alcohol is the second best thing right? Besides drinking together is team building and leads to this wonderful thing called “actually talking about your trauma instead of bottling it up for once”.

AAAA sorry about taking so long to get around to this.

I need to stop checking my inbox until I’m FULLY ready to yap and ramble. I need that lil blue dot reminding me I have asks so bad.

That IS a good question and I’m so flattered that y’all bother with my content. <3 I think they’d be at least somewhat different about alcohol.

(Sorry for any typos in advance, I wrote this mostly at various doctor’s appointments. ALSO. Last thing to apologize for. I’ve never vaped or smoked when I wrote the last part, but I also have never consumed alcohol and that fact may be more evident in this one)

Cw: Alcohol and some references to alcoholism, uh…references to angst but maybe more comfort than angst, kinda all over the place <\3

Okay so, in the beginning, Onslaught was Mostly teens. Psimon was BARELY even old enough to drink in America at the ripe young age of 21, flat. And I thinnkkkkkk Psimon is American? Even if he’s not, it seems the rest of Onslaught is, so I think  Psimon would probably step up and be all “No, no,” confiscate all the bottles and cans and it’d make the teens so mad and indignant. Literal felons are being BABYSAT. Even when they travel where the drinking age is lower. 

But when the teenagers turn old enough to drink, they have a whole little birthday celebration with what they can get, and of course, offer the first taste of alcohol. Their choice for what it is, as long as the team could afford it. Of course, they laugh and tease if they recoil from the taste. 

Most of the team is pretty fond of drinking, usually together. It’s nice bonding.

Devastation is the only exception to the “Psimon Says no alcohol until you’re 21” rule from the beginning. The team can argue “She is LITERALLY one (1) year old” all they want. She is LITERALLY built different, Psimon is fine with her drinking. 

Idk if she particularly has a preference for any kind. She’s probably one of those who subscribe to the belief of “It ain’t right if it doesn’t burn a bit going down”. Wine is probably somewhat…nostalgic. For some reason. Takes her back to someplace she can’t name, someplace she’s never been, but I think that’d be one of the only reasons she might prefer wine. Her taste may be all over. May be whatever’s strong and good. I’m no alcohol savant, what do I know? 

She likes to drink to celebrate and to bond, sometimes to ebb at stress. It takes a LOT to get her drunk, but that’s not gonna stop her from getting drunk when she has the time and money burn on it. She gets drunk and gets even more jovial and warm and open, though she’s usually relatively open. Also, haphazard. She becomes a big fan of violating people’s personal space. Hugs, patting backs, throwing her arm around them, leaning on people shorter than her, etc.

It can annoy a lot of people if she does it too much, Psimon strangely doesn’t seem to mind too much tho…aheem…

Besides that, Psimon’s generally against the team drinking to the point of drunkenness, but there’s little to actually do about it; he struggles to track all of their limits, and when he’s focusing on one, that leaves all the others alone. He tries to avoid getting drunk himself instead. Someone has to stay sober, and his psionic powers don’t mix well with too much alcohol. And he’s the leader. It makes the most sense that it’d be him to keep his wits about him.

The Terror Twins are hearty drinkers; they also can drink a lot and get very warm and jovial when drinking, like Devastation. Any outing to a bar feels celebratory with them. They decided they don’t like to get fully drunk though, not too regularly. First Tuppence decided this, then Tommy when she pointed it out to him. They don’t want to open up more quickly than they intend. Psimon can relate to that, so he defends them when they drop out. That doesn’t stop them from having fun with everyone else though, or helping when things get bad. They’re usually decent at opening up on their own time anyway. 

Shimmer and Mammoth like to follow Psimon’s lead and keep excess drinking to a minimum. A couple of shots, a glass or maybe two, it really depends on what it is, but that’s it. Mammoth can take more than his sister, just by merit of him being so much larger, but he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol at all while his sister does. However, the second either of them get any kind of buzz ebbing at their senses is the second they quit. 

If they’re found sitting down and downing drinks, something is wrong. They’d only let go so much if they’re trying to drown their problems. Then, they can use some company. Someone lending an ear to their sorrows doesn’t sound half bad. 

If another team member is in a similar situation and needs someone to simply sit next to them and just be, or listen, Baran and Selinda are quick to be there for them.

Junior drinks for fun, he’ll seize any opportunity to drink. That man is getting “Krunk” as the kids say. He doesn’t know his limits and if he did, there’s no telling if he’d actually adhere to them. He WILL blackout if no one keeps an eye on him. He will be puking in the trashcan. The rest of the team has to steer him away from opportunities to drink lest he develop alcoholism at the tender age of 5-minutes-into-being-able-to-legally-drink. 

His mood becomes turbulent and fragile. He’ll typically be happy, loud, reckless, aggressive; but at the mention of the wrong thing or at the sight of something that takes him way back, he can breakdown rather easily. It’s actually pretty common for his drunken stints, when they get out of hand, to end in tears. Junior has to be one of the least repressed members of Onslaught, due in no small part to moments like these; where he lets his emotions run rampant and they go down a bad path. 

He’d expect ridicule, but Onslaught is actually very sympathetic to his struggles and complaints, whatever they may be. He can air his dirty laundry as much as he wants with little to no judgement, something he’s not used to. Once he starts, it’s hard to stop, but the team will listen until the end and it’s something he’s really grateful for. Despite being a troublemaker and general criminal, he tries to pay the team’s kindness towards him forward as much as he can.

If Psimon does end up drinking to lose his troubles, he usually does it alone, when everyone else is asleep. Or at least when he thinks everyone else is asleep. Sometimes someone will wander about looking for a late night snack or a glass of water, or even search for him himself. He dislikes being caught like that, dislikes not being so impervious and put-together for the team. 

Without fail, they’ll sit with him awhile. They’ll ask, they’ll listen, they’ll joke or comfort or sit in silence. Psimon will wither in place or try to get them to leave him be, but they’re a stubborn lot. They’re far from the most “upstanding” of company, but they treat him with the same care, empathy, and concern he tries to treats them with; and Psimon finds afterwards that, despite not enjoying being caught in a state of weakness or forced to open up, he wouldn’t have rather it have gone any other way.

[dye-it-rouge-et-noir]

"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai

[ID in alt text]

[onelinemanytimes]

Possession, PSAs, and his Shades

We’ve gone over a lot already, but man. I just keep on looking at everything happening and thinking about it nonstop. There’s so much to talk about where Fresh is involved and while analyzing the character directly in the context of underverse is absolutely still on the table, I can think of more things to talk about.

So I’m going to do that! This post’ll be about a bit more of a variety of things, especially in regards to stuff I personally enjoyed massively. Let’s go!!

The Possession

This part may be a bit scrambled and I apologize in advance, and I also warn that trying to find information on THIS in particular is fairly difficult. There are some things that are a fact, for sure;

Fresh is the parasite who’s possessing the body (that purple thing up there? That’s Fresh), and consumes the Host’s SOUL while in their body for sustenance. The Host does not have control while being possessed.

…And that is all the facts I’m 100% sure on. The rest? From what I could find briefly searching the records I know of, much harder to confirm. For Underverse, it’s safe to assume “The Host is Conscious while possessed” is true, given Ink responds to Fresh’s PSA after being freed from his control, and it’s been heavily implied that being possessed hurts a LOT given, yknow, having your soul slowly eaten away by a parasite cannot possibly be pleasant.

I will note that it probably hurt less for Ink because Ink doesn’t have a soul. BUT WAIT, if Fresh needs a soul to possess someone, and Ink doesn’t have one, how does the possession work?? I’m glad but also surprised you asked because Fresh explains it himself to Ink!

Fresh may not need the vials himself, but Ink absolutely runs off them. At the very least Ink’s emotions run off them, and for most other monsters having a SOUL is connected to having emotions (or at least, NOT having a soul is explicitly connected to NOT having emotions). That makes the vials a suitable substitute for the magic Fresh needs to consume from a host to live, at least for Underverse!

This would also explain why Fresh’ possession lasted no longer than a few minutes before running out completely- the material in those vials does NOT last long, not even for Ink! Ink has to refill them and drink them regularly, and Ink’s body is probably better at processing them. Fresh, meanwhile, is insatiable, constantly drawing on the magic for his own survival without regard to the host’s well being, and that would drain the effects of the vials even FASTER than their already short time frame.

I also want to talk about physically how Fresh possessed Ink. Nothing weird, but details about the battle that absolutely delight me.

Magically we know at this point Fresh had to trick Ink into drinking the vials so the possession would function. But PHYSICALLY, Fresh ALSO needed to get Ink into a position where he would be susceptible to possession!

A LOT of legwork was done for him beforehand. Error had done some damage to Ink already, wearing him down magically and physically for a bit before being interrupted, and that’s not even looking at the fact that Ink was already a bit roughed up before Error got to him.

Fresh forced Ink to drink the Unlimited Vial as well, which while he didn’t know it would do this, helped to wear Ink down further. Forcing Ink to feel something overwhelmingly oppressive that Ink could only think to describe as “Pain” in the moment. This may not have physically negatively affected Ink, but it did have a mental effect, and that matters just as much in this case.

Then, before Ink had any time to really recover, Fresh forced him to chase him- something that pushed Ink to start using magic and of course having to physically follow after Fresh. And this chase is FAST, based on how much the wind is whipping at their clothes in the animation, Fresh is making Ink WORK for those vials.

Ink is physically exhausted, as emotionally exhausted as he’s capable of being, and mentally exhausted as well (potentially also why he’s so quick to make foolish predictable decisions around FRESH, someone he’s obviously familiar with to SOME degree). After everything he’s been put through he’s tired, and in perfect condition for Fresh.

Physically, Fresh gets VERY close to Ink, very quickly. He’s in front of Ink before Ink’s realized what’s happening, and he only gets closer as the scene progresses. The view from Ink’s perspective is wonderful, Fresh absolutely looming over him (and the camera) with how much taller he is and how close he’s standing. Fresh also reaches out to Ink himself, nearly close enough to touch Ink.

Obviously, the physical process is Poof’d out in the animation, which I’m not surprised by at all because as has been stated by CQ and others, “It’s pretty gross,” and also probably pretty difficult to animate. We don’t need to see that, we understand what’s going on here and we have a battle flow to keep up because Error is there pretty immediately after. I ADORE how menacing it was the entire time leading up though, THAT is delicious.

And then we get to the actual being possessed part!

In my various analysis posts, I haven’t talked about Fresh!Ink as a separate, 3rd character of some kind whatsoever, and that is VERY intentional. Fresh!Ink is not a character of its own, it’s a state of being, specifically Ink’s status as Actively Possessed. This isn’t a fusion situation where both of their mindsets and thoughts are contributing to their actions, this is exclusively Fresh.

This is something ESSENTIAL to keep in mind. Ink is nothing more than a body in the Fresh!Ink dynamic, Fresh is as in control here as he is in his own typical hosts. Trying to imply that Fresh!Ink is a separate character from Fresh somehow is completely misunderstanding how Fresh!Ink even functions on a baseline level- it’s largely an aesthetic change that, in this case, was only important because Ink needed to be unrecognizable for a while.

PSAs

Fresh loves addressing us directly. It’s a sure-fire way to ensure he’s the center of attention to what REALLY matters, the audience, even if it means being ignored in universe or confusing to other characters. 

Nothing exemplifies this better than when he gets into a PSA (short for Public Service Announcement), a part of his 90s facade where characters would stop and address the audience in order to teach a lesson of some kind. Said character often being portrayed as cool and competent, or at least knowledgeable about the topic at hand, and using the situation around them to deliver some kind of moral message with the other characters.

This is good context to have on who Fresh’s dialogue is for and why in the world he would say everything he does. I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating that Fresh is a character that is not only 100% aware of the fourth wall, but is known for interacting with it himself to some degree. Fresh is meant to be funny, so this awareness is played as a joke in most cases, but you better believe there is some intense existential dread deeply baked into his character as a result.

Anyways! Let’s look at the dialogue during the fight and really pull apart what it means.

Fresh: Dude, dese days have been kinda on the wacko side for everyone, huh? I smell unrad vibes just all over da dang place. 

Error: You're dead, Ink!!

Fresh: I think ya talkin' to da wrong broski. Our glitchy pal needs a chill pill. Let's learn how ta handle dis here situation. Sometimes when people get angry all dey get is a well-deserved time out. So- tell ya rainbow buddy- whats makin' ya so unhappy?

Error: Quit playing games, you fu[nking mu]stard!!

Fresh: Unrad, Bro! Nobody like it when ya rude! As ya can see, hostility can be challengin' at times. It's a sign dat they're all up in their head, fightin' a much harder battle dan da external. And most people aren't aware of it. Find out what it is dats tormentin' dem. And use dat weakness against dem ta destroy their life. let dem know dat nobody messes with you. ...And dat mah friendos, is how ya come ta realize dat you must care about yaself first and above anyone else! 

Error: You're [Fun]king crazy!!! I'm wasting my time with freaks like you! Once I'm done with Ink, you're next, whoever you are!!!

This is the full exchange Fresh has with Error, and what Error and Ink witnessed on their end- with a reminder that Fresh was very rarely actually talking to Error, often facing away from Error while speaking in the battle. It’s also worth noting that in the episode itself, all of this text is in uppercase, I made the decision to put it in lowercase here for the sake of legibility- but it being in uppercase IS important, they’re both being loud here.

This is a message from Fresh about how to handle someone actively attacking you, based on context. He’s sharing what to do in a battle to get out on the other side of it alright, based on what he knows and thinks of course. His delivery here is patronizing and weird, but there IS real substance to this.

His first piece of advice is to force the opponent into “time out,” which he demonstrates is getting the opponent into a state of being less able to attack, via slapping Error out of the air and to the ground. The flow of Error’s attacks are interrupted now that he’s been disrupted like that, and Fresh moves onto the next step!

The time out is, apparently, intended as a way to get them to stop fighting and start talking, as Fresh immediately asks Error directly a question, something he would only need to do to get Error’s side during this little informational encounter. As has been said, he doesn’t care about actually talking to Error here, he’d just keep talking to us at home if he didn’t think it was fitting for his message to chat with Error.

Obviously Error is just furious more than anything, immediately retaliating against Fresh. This is fine, though- Fresh IS trying to give advice on what to do in a battle, and sometimes talking to someone doesn’t work! So of course, you need to be able to keep calm, and follow the next steps of success.

It starts off as a very typical “thinking of the other person” friendliness type thing, noting that someone who’s engaging in a fight with you has something going on in their head making them think choosing that violence is a good or worthwhile idea. That they’re fighting an internal battle that most people wouldn’t even know about. 

And hey! Internal battle in your head that no one knows about… just like the internal struggle of his hosts against him, that no one else ever thinks about, right guys? Making a little ominous tangent is something he does for us at home, because he knows there are a lot of people that enjoy that about him- and that it makes him interesting, having things about him that aren’t what you expect and make you want to look closer at him.

And he continues with that darker tone, because his answer to continued conflict is to fight back; specifically, to fight back smarter, not harder than your enemy. Find out what’s wrong with your opponent, what will hurt them the worst possible, what their weakness is- and utterly destroy them with it. End it in one decisive hit, striking at the weakest part of your enemy as hard as possible.

And of course, he demonstrates doing this! Lovely Error is someone he knows pretty well, well enough to exploit Error’s fears in this fight. When Fresh counter-attacks, Error actually runs entirely from that attack. If you watch carefully, you can see error make a portal out of the doodlesphere as the hands reach toward him, and back away into it to avoid being hit.

Which, guess what? Means that Fresh wins! Obviously, if your opponent flees from a battle, you can consider that a win, because they are now no longer fighting you- the goal of all this advice! 

His final moral message to the viewers is his own personal standpoint, that you have to care about yourself more than you care about anyone else! Don’t pity the enemy or try to offer kindness when they’re fighting you, tear them apart and show them it was a mistake to try and trap you in a battle. NO one messes with you, or else.

And then the possession is over! With Ink telling Fresh that what he said didn’t make any sense at all, which is probably due to a mix of Fresh’s speech patterns, Fresh’s intended audience being us, and also Ink not having a lot of time to process and consider what Fresh is talking about (unlike us who can spend days looking at the same 5 minutes of animation and tearing it apart piece by piece).

Fresh doesn’t push it, likely because it IS a pretty significant insight into his thought process (not to mention the fact the message wasn’t mainly for Ink anyways). Instead he starts deflecting by pointing out that eating paint doesn’t make any sense either, but Ink still does that, putting Ink in a kind of “gotchya” position where he’d have to explain eating paint before Fresh explains his little message there- which Fresh knows Ink isn’t going to do, at minimum because Core is here and Ink’s only just noticed.

I did word my thoughts as “the message wasn’t mainly for Ink” intentionally though. Fresh had spent the lead up to the fight berating Ink on his thoughtlessness, and on his dramatic lack of planning ahead when faced with a situation in the moment (By comparison to Fresh, at least. I do think Ink is capable of planning ahead to SOME degree given his actions over the course of Underverse absolutely being planned in their own right, but Fresh is berating him for not planning ahead ENOUGH, hence the current state of everything right now and also his dramatic victory.)

I think to Fresh, Ink could also benefit from this message on how to stop having ridiculous fights (with error especially) that waste time and don’t end with a clear enough winner to make the opposing party back off. Ink wastes a TON of resources and gets into a lot of risky situations that could be avoided if he fought more heartlessly AND efficiently, so this advice could help if Ink ever plans to start ignoring his feelings again.

Right now, of course, the advice hardly applies at all. Obviously, Ink is presently emotional, especially after the battle and drinking all the vials (more or less). And, Ink potentially can’t succeed in this situation following Fresh’s advice, it may be more worthwhile to use some level of sympathy and kindness to dissolve the situation, something Ink specifically is in the perfect position to do as a friend of X Gaster.

That’s the delicious crux of this situation though, isn’t it?

Ink is in a very, very unique position as someone who knows a lot about X Gaster. A LOT about X Gaster, more than essentially anyone else in the multiverse that isn’t from XTale directly. There are a few routes Ink can go down in now, helping the “good side” to combat him. As an old friend, he could try to appeal emotionally, trying to work with XGaster for a different resolution to everything having seen that it’s gone too far.

Or… maybe everything Fresh said here just doesn’t make sense YET. Fresh’s message to us and to Ink could be foreshadowing for the future- that the battle is going to be ended because Ink, or someone else extremely close to XGaster, is going to reveal XGaster’s weakness. That with that weakness, they’re not just going to fight XGaster, they’re going to utterly destroy XGaster, so that there is no question whatsoever who won.

That’s just speculation of course… Can’t say for sure if it was foreshadowing when we can’t look to the future yet and see it play out. Cool as heck if it is foreshadowing though, could you imagine. I’d go crazy, again, and probably write like three more posts about how Fresh is a genius and the true hero of underverse and other equally ridiculous claims.

His Shades

The last thing I want to talk about here is short and it’s about Fresh’s shades. This is mostly me just wanting to talk about them because I love them and the attention to detail in these animations is absolutely incredible and worth discussing. BUT HEY I bet people would like to hear about how they work and what they mean for Fresh and yada yada ok cool let’s jump in.

SO Fresh is known for his awesome “YOLO” shades, of course, but they can change to display other text!! This is a cool fact that I’ve never seen so beautifully executed, but has always been enjoyed on my end- but the way Fresh’s shades work is a bit hard to pin down!

I think, to some degree, it’s safe to say Fresh has control over what his shades say. I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s in perfect control over what they say, though, moreso that they respond to him directly. I say this because of how they shift when he’s attacked by Error- during some of the impact frames they change to say “oof!” and react in perfect time with him expressing worry or concern over situations.

It is possible he controls them entirely and is just that good at it, but it’s up for debate, and either way he’s still using his shades to convey his intentions as much as any other form of body language.

You may have noticed that sometimes, however, his Shades don’t show ANY text. Specifically, three or four times that are notable (There are others but they’re during moments when Fresh is very VERY distant or when he’s in heavy motions, where it’s more likely his shades just aren’t big enough to have fit any kinds of letters on for the sake of animating, and I don’t think those count for here).

First, when he’s forcing Ink to drink the vial. Second, when he tells Ink that the both of them are very different and he’s smarter (they stay off until Fresh has possessed ink), Third for a moment before jumping up to hit Error that may just be another case of “animating the words here wasn’t worth it” but that I have trouble believing given other instances there’re words, and then after Error has them pinned to the ground tied up in strings for more or less the rest of the fight.

All of these moments are unique in that they also coincide with moments where Fresh is being MOST genuinely himself, and not lying nearly as much as every other time. Showcasing his lack of any feelings at forcing Ink to drink the unlimited vial, devoid of anything but cold curiosity. Tipping his hand in preparation for possessing Ink, blankly stating that he and Ink are very very different, and that relating them too much to each other is a dangerous mistake to make.

Again, with jumping up to meet Error in the air, it could be a moment of “animation dropping the text,” but to humor if it isn’t, Fresh is ACTIVELY accepting combat in that moment. The break in text is the break in his facade and active focus on us at home, he has to take a moment to actually engage in this battle- but it’s entirely unnecessary to display any text about it in that moment. He’s deciding his next move, calculating and waiting for the perfect time to jump.

It’s easy to assume the fourth instance where he’s tied up, the letters are gone because the visor is visibly broken. That could make sense, perhaps- but soon after it’s shown that no, the visor still absolutely works, and could be displaying a visual.

Not displaying any text here has just as much reason as not displaying any text any other time, and in this case is used for two reasons. It’s used for this moment of being very ominous, for one, giving us this excellent shot intended to be pretty frightening juxtaposed against Fresh’s usual behavior and atmosphere. But yet again it’s also a tell for when Fresh is being “most genuine” in his exchanges!

At this point is where he’s talking about how to defeat someone who won’t stop fighting, by taking advantage of any weakness they show and destroying them completely as a consequence for it. That’s very genuinely something Fresh would and probably did do to people, and he doesn’t need to sugar coat it with fun visuals and lies. After all, we know what he’s like, that he doesn’t care and that at his most truthful, there is nothing he is feeling to convey. He’s empty… Just like his shades are, showing nothing to us because there’s nothing to see.

Instances when his shades do have text still do bleed into his reactions, like I mentioned, and show his current state of being to some degree. Displaying “HAHA” at multiple times within the battle as he’s enjoying himself, showing to say “OK UH” when he’s looking at Ink’s vials to decide which to toss at him, and a ton of other fun little moments! It’s a delight to watch and fills me with joy every time I look at it, absolutely wonderful.

That’s all for this post though! I covered a lot of ground here and said a lot, but that’s kind of why I wanted to talk about this at all! I had a lot of thoughts that could do with being shared, and I hope you all enjoy this one as much as the others!