#random does cannibalism for fun

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

TFA Blitzwing

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Hrn. All the vamp talk got me thinking about vamp Stan and hunter Ford. Just gonna throw this out there and run away.

Au where Bills some mega lord vampire, sealed away for millennia that tricks Ford in a very similar manner, except here Bill does get out and starts the vampire apocalypse. Ford, betrayed, works on becoming a vampire hunter and putting an end to Bills reign before it can begin. Becomes a super vampire hunter badass and tries to track Bill across the country, staking all the baby vamps he can on the way.

Bill wants to turn Ford into a vamp and make him his right hand vamp man, because he's obsessed and doesn't understand 'no' just thinks Fords playing hard to get while Bill's vamps start spreading further and further than can be controlled by only Ford. Ford unintentionally starts a vampire hunting party of some kind, and gets more and more allies against the rising undead. Bill puts a bounty on Fords head to bring him to Bill alive, so that he can do a whole 'seducing to the dark side' bit with him.

Then he gets Stan instead, who has no idea whats happening to him and Bill is not happy to see. Figures 'hey! I'll just drain spare parts dry and leave him as a present for Fordsy to find. He'll totally freak over his brother's husk, or he'll be grateful i took out his worthless brother who he hates. Either way, fun for me.'

Drains Stan, leaves him in a box in a warehouse or something for Ford to find. Except when Ford rolls up Stan's already long gone, and he has no idea what Bill was keeping there. Makes a whole conspiracy about it, while Bills wtf's about how Stan turned into a full vamp and busted out. He didn't do that, unless he did? Did he accidentally turn the lesser Stan before getting the one worth anything? Disgusting, he doesn't want this knock off Stan in his vampire army, and hey! What happened to all the other vampires he left in the warehouse to jump Ford!

Bill did not turn Stan. Stan's got a smorgasbord board of vamp blood in his system that turned him when Bill bit him. So i guess Bill sort of did it? on complete accident and not even trying.

Because when the vampocalypse started and Stan, a lone homeless man and therefore perfect target, got jumped immediately and bitten by some rando, his reaction, as a known crazy person, was to bite them back about it. Instant vampire reaction of pulling away and going 'wtf' at this guy who bit them? Thats not how this works? Gives Stan just enough time to clock them in the face and run for the hills while they compute whatever just happened to them.

Stan has no idea he's been jumped by dozens of vampires, he just thinks muggers are really into biting lately, and none of them like it when he bits back. His teeth hurt because of his partials acting up from all the biting he's been doing. He feels sick because he accidentally ingested just, so much blood lately from all the self defense biting. Who knows what kinds of diseases those weirdo's have in their blood. Food doesnt taste as good because, again, he's sick. Same with the sun piercing his eyes. Except eventually he freaks himself out by actually looking forward to the next time he gets jumped, because he's gotten a taste for vampire blood.

Oh god, its some kind of disease that makes people bite each other! Except Stan doesn't want to jump a random passerby, just the guys that jump him. Maybe's hes got some mutant biting strain, he doesnt know. Starts making himself even more of a target, just to bite more vampires that he thinks are messed up muggers.

Then he gets nabbed, dragged to Bill, eaten, and wakes up in a box, for extra truama. He's hungry, terrified, retraumatiazed, and needs out.

So he does, then uses his much better, none fake new chompers to drain all the vamps Bill had stuck around, since he's already got a taste for vampire blood. Unsure if Stan's a vampire eating vampire, or if he's just a cannibal here. Either way, he's undead and still has no idea whats going on, just that a creepy guys obsessed with his brother and was mad he wasn't him and also tried to kill him? Good thing Stan's got the luck of the devil and the survivability of a cockroach!

No idea Bill still wants to kill him for daring to not be Ford and now a vampire. No idea Ford thinks he was some sort of super vampire Bill sent to kill him or terrorize people and is now trying to kill him. Thinks he's suffering from some kind of biting disease, because vampire's arent real, and he doesnt really remember slaughtering all the vamps due to hunger and blood craze. Just woke up back at his car and covered in blood. Which is normal, because people keep biting him. If we go by vampire rules of 'not fully turned until they drink human blood' he can still sort of go in the sun and eat food without vomiting, he just feels awful. Obviously because he's ill from all the blood he's been drinking, because people keep biting him.

Really, the idea of vampires biting him but Stan getting away by biting back just amused me. Plus all the vampire Stan i've been seeing around

[revelboo]

iiiiinch resting that shockwave has these archival records of Ye Ole Cybertronian/Organic Sparkbonds... would wheeljack have something similar on the flipside? maybe optimus, even?? cuz i cant imagine megatron making another "hey dont fuck the wildlife" psa but for lifespans ykwim??? hell, maybe kup, ratchet or ironhide might but im stumped outside of the first two guesses on if any autobots would be able to dig that up

I just like Shockwave knowing all the random, weird stuff- being a bit of a history buff. Optimus might have encountered that information when he was Orion Pax, but likely would have forgotten it by now.

Pretty much my fics are just Primus being so over his awful kids murdering each other for millennia and also wiping out thousands of organic races and worlds as collateral damage in the process that he pulled out the intergalactic get along sweater. You want to repopulate/ save the Cybertronian race from extinction? Now you’re dependent on not murdering this one organic race that might be every bit as awful about murdering each other as you are. Have fun with that.

Megatron Shitpost Pt 2

• Venting tiredly, he knows he doesn’t have that long before a brawl breaks out. Cramming this many Decepticons in one place is exceptionally ill advised, but fear and intimidation are about all that work on this rabble. “Tarantulas, where are the other bugs?” He demands, scanning the crowd. Sees the scientist stiffen, extra limbs flaring out slightly. ‘As I’ve said countless times, I’m not a bug or an Insecticon,’ Tarantulas hisses. Swallowing a growl, he presses a servo against his helm. “Does anyone know where the Insecticons are? Who’s supposed to be watching them?” And the silence that follows the question is no real surprise. Alright. So those cannibals are loose. And the little, accident prone one, what was his name? Waspinator, maybe? “What about that radioactive lunatic?” A lot of silence is his answer. That one he knows was Shockwave’s responsibility. So it’s entirely possible the scientist just turned Sunstorm loose to see what he’d do. Fantastic.

• “I know that some of you have humans or have been interacting with humans despite being told not to,” Megatron continues when no one volunteers any information on Sunstorm. “I want honesty. Everyone who is harboring a human, raise your hand. Don’t make me go check your habsuites.” And Bonecrusher finally raises a hand, but their human he knows about. “If you make me check your habsuites, I’m going to make all of you as miserable as that waste of time will make me.” There. Skywarp, Thundercracker, and- Vortex? Is that human even still alive? Rumble and Frenzy.

• “Anyone else? Alright. See Scrapper about getting modifications made to your habsuites. As for the rest of you, humans aren’t to be harmed. They’re now a protected species. I don’t care if you frag them, but don’t spark bond them. And don’t draw attention to us.” Aware of Swindle cautiously raising a hand, Megatron growls. “No, I’m not elaborating. But since you’re volunteering, you’ve always been good at acquisitions, Swindle. See if you can get your hands on human food stuffs, clothing.” Staring them all down, daring them to question him while he tries to figure out how this has become his life.

[forsaken-headcanons]

I had a simple idea: what if the survivors and killers swapped roles? And that idea proceeded to snowball into a full-blown yap sesh. I’m so silly when it comes to Forsaken, y’all 😋

(This is a VERY long post, so it’s been split up into two sections. Hope you don’t mind, mod!)

“KILLERS”

Noob - Picture a lone noob, lost in the spectre’s domain. No food. No shelter. Nothing. They finally come across another survivor…or should I say sustenance. That’s right. I took Noob’s whole ‘eating snacks’ thing and turned them into a cannibal. How fun! ☺️ Kind-of takes the role of Jason with a hint of Guest 666? That comment will probably change when 666 comes out, but for now, their kit revolves around tracking down survivors one by one. They can turn mostly invisible for a short period, too.

Chance - Two Face with a touch of Jigsaw. Gambling has completely overtaken his life, with his favourite being betting on lives. Never his, of course. And gods forbid he loses… Doesn’t really take the role of anyone. They specialize in ranged attacks, but he has a melee attack, too. He still has the coin flip, but it’s used to give him a random effect (can be anything from speed I to blindness III) and the only way to get rid of said-abilities is Hat Fix. But use it wisely, as that gets rid of the good abilities, too. The only way to earn bullets is by hitting survivors. He can store a max of 3, just like before. No misfiring (🎉), but the gun attack is probably hella telegraphed.

Guest 1337 - Gotta love a corrupt police officer! Well, soldier. But still- I regretfully can’t say who this guy’s main inspiration was, but I can imagine him working closely with Builderman to enact their shared (and crooked) sense of justice. His gameplay loop revolves around running down + stunning survivors. He doesn’t need to block to do a punch anymore. Instead, his block will actually give brief slowness + a highlighted aura to anyone foolish enough to hit him while it’s active. His punch (still) has a delay, but considering how it stuns survivors, I’d say it’s worth it.

Two Time - So obsessed with death/rebirth, they drove themselves mad and proceeded to go on a killing spree to ‘share this truth amongst the nonbelievers’. Mildly inspired by the Cult of the Lamb bishops, and takes the role of Jason (aka the free killer). Bro just runs around with a dagger lol. Though they have a considerably low health pool for a killer, TT makes up for it by gaining access to their second life form upon dying. They move much faster while in this state, so it’s actually advised to NOT stun them all willy-nilly, lest you unintentionally buff the killer.

Elliot - Hell hath no fury like an overworked minimum wage employee. Elliot had enough, and now EVERYONE’S gonna pay for it. Especially vengeful towards c00lkidd, and would play a special theme upon him being the last survivor. Sort of takes the role of John Doe? I mean- he revolves around dropping poisoned pizzas/other pizza-themed traps to slow down and weaken survivors.

Builderman - Oh, shoot! He has his banhammer! Oh no! He’s using it on everyone! Builderman believes that his ticket out of here involves purging the spectre’s domain of evil…but has since developed the morality of a corrupt judge. How lovely! As previously mentioned, he works closely with Guest 1337 to achieve his goals. A mix between John Doe and c00lkidd. He still builds machines, but they act like motion sensors for the most part.

Shedletsky - A self-proclaimed master swordsman, with an ego to match. Shed let the power of being an admin get to his head. He’s the most important person in the room, and will strike down anyone who says otherwise. Takes the role of 1x1x1x1. He’d use different SFOTH swords to do different attacks (Venomshank for basic swinging, Icedagger for Entanglement, Darkheart for Mass Infection,  Illumina for Unstable Eye, and Ghostwalker for Rejuvenate the Rotten). Oh, and someone snatched his chicken. I wonder who? 🤔 

007n7 - Slightly inspired by Bacon General from The Last Guest, this version of 07 wasn’t quite ready to retire, even when a baby was left on his doorstep. If anything, a child meant that he could pass down his skills to someone else. And thus he continued to reign chaos all around him, all the while pressuring his son to do the same. As a killer, he still uses scripts and exploits to give him an unfair advantage. Takes the role of c00lkidd, and uses the same moves as OG kidd for the most part. Instead of summoning clones, he instead teleports to the closest survivor (which briefly stuns him upon arriving, just to nerf it a little).

— Respawn Anon

I think you absolutely cooked on all of these. Specifically Guest 1337, Shedletsky and Builderman. These are so creative.

[a-hazbin-reader]

K so I loved your egg and dog, why not next a real kid. The cannibal kids, like the kids adore y/n when ever she comes to town to visit. They do multiple fun activities like makeing flower crowns or just somthing as simple as hopscotch!

(Proves y/n would be a good mom.)

Y/N would be a good mom!! I believe in her!!

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Children in mild danger, Cartoonish antics, Reader wants children, Alastor being possessive, Sad implications

Description: 👆⬆️

Alastor likes taking you to Cannibal Town, he likes that everyone there loves you nearly as much as he does

He likes showing you off and letting Rosie brag about you for him

Because she totally brags about you, not letting Alastor get a word out to say it himself

And the children all listen to Rosie so they quickly turn their attention on you with sparkling eyes and grabby hands

And you are immediately enamored with them too, giving them tight squeezes and gentle pecks on their chubby cheeks

It's adorable that the children have taken such a shine to you, really it is

"Y/N! Y/N! Come play with us!"

"Alright~ Alright~"

Not the littlest one leading you by holding onto your finger

And the way you indulge them just makes his heart melt, watching you play along with their antics

You mend their clothes for them, bandage their boo-boos, bring them snacks so they aren't tempted to gnaw on each other

Or you

Plus it gives him time to chat with Rosie or shop for surprise gifts for you so he doesn't necessarily mind it

Except those kids never seem to run out of energy or get sick of your attention

Sometimes he finds you surrounded by them, all of you snuggled up together and relaxed

Are those flowers in your hair?

Yes, yes they are.

Or you'll seek him out, one child on your shoulders and another in your arms, both asleep

But your husband wants to take you home and get some snuggles with you for himself

And cannibal children are fucking ruthless when it comes to something they want so he has to get creative to get his wife back

"Here~! Have some scissors! Run as fast as you can with them~!"

"ALASTOR!"

"Oh fuck-"

They 100% fight back though, those children are smart and ruthless, quick to realize Alastor is competition

That's part of why he likes the cannibal children so much tbh

They will literally throw him in a well if it means spending five more minutes with you

It becomes a cartoonish war between Alastor and the children, one with little malice but many dangerous antics on both ends

With you in the middle

You even start to play along, picking different sides at random and turning things into a game

It's totally not an excuse to watch your husband play with children and it definitely doesn't make your heart ache

Once Alastor stops to realize how you're looking at him and sees how much warmth your gaze holds then he starts to understand something

Something that makes his heart throb a little but he tucks it away for when you two are alone

Alastor starts to join you in hanging out with the children after that, enjoying the maternal side of you more than he would care to admit

And seeing him act even remotely fatherly is obviously doing things for you so that's a bonus for him too

You two are constantly followed by a gaggle of children now, the two of you looking like duck parents

If you run into any of the overlords then Alastor will pit the kids against them, telling them to get their Aunty/Uncle

Bonus points if its Vox and they take off a piece of him and bring it back to Alastor

They love biting their Uncle Vox~

They even visit you two at the hotel sometimes, all of them storming the building and wreaking havoc until they find your room

Not all of them trying to sneak into bed with you two as silently as possible

Okay no-

He's going to start locking doors now

Go ahead, old man they'll just break them down

Alastor totally doesn't make them Charlie and Vaggie's problem afterwards just so that he can have some peace

More cuddles with his wife please

"Alastor...we should get the children home..."

"Five more minutes, my dear~"

How can you say no to him when he's kissing your neck like that?

Five more minutes

He's amused when you try to explain away the love marks on your neck and shoulders in a PG way

Kids ask the silliest questions, don't they?

You always sigh happily at the end of the day once the kids have gone home, leaning on your husband

You look tired but happy, Alastor committing the look to memory

He catches you staring at the kids fondly and looking at baby clothes a little more often

Maybe you hold a baby for a little too long, voice a little too thick with emotion

It's obvious to him that being around the children makes you happy but also makes you wish for something more

And all he wants is his wife to be happy

So maybe he should have that conversation with you that he's been putting off for awhile

Alastor isn't really a coward, but when it comes to difficult conversations with you, he's definitely reluctant

He doesn't like to see you get worked up and if the conversation goes where he thinks it's going to go then...you're gonna get upset

Waits until the two of you are snuggled up together in bed, his arm wrapped snuggly around you

You're nearly asleep, happily breathing in your husband's scent and lazily stroking his chest

"Y/N...do you want a family with me?"

Now you're wide awake

🥹🥺🥹 literally me after this

[obbystars]

Drop some random sebastian headcanon u have in mind fics related or not if u ever had one pls drop itudulfyldyostoakakak😇😇

(ALRIGHTY LET’S SEE IF I’VE STILL GOT IT IN ME TO MAKE A HEADCANON POST)

CONTENT WARNING: cannibalism in post-experimentation section

Notes: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader / General Relationship Headcanons + some general Sebastian headcanons / kid you not pulling this up i realized i did not have any headcanons for sebastian thought out so i spent a good while thinking LSJDJSNX / i hope you guys know this is written by someone who has not dated before (has no idea what they’re doing) / wishing this could’ve been longer

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

To be honest, when it comes to entering a relationship with Sebastian, I can never see it happening when you meet during the events of the game. Like, obviously he only sees all of expendables as research collectors (and possibly food) and that’s pretty much it. He does not give two shits about us.

If you knew him before he got arrested, or even knew him while he was a prisoner under Urbanshade (specifically another prisoner), then yes I can see it happening. Of course, if you knew him beforehand and became an expendable for whatever reason after, then yes I can also see it. It’s because you knew who he was before he became what he is now, y’know?

Anywayy…

He’s a teasing type of partner. Often making sarcastic comments whenever he sees the opportunity to, pushing some of your buttons just for the fun of it, all that stuff. He can tone it down if you ask though, or if he sees it’s actually bothering you.

Sebastian does like cuddling but he is almost never the one to initiate it. It’s not that he’s uncomfortable (well he kinda is sometimes), he’s also not sure if you’re comfortable with it unless you voice it to him. Will that change anything? Not really, you’ll still need to initiate most of the time.

It’s probably obvious now that I see a relationship with Sebastian will require quite a bit of communication, but there’s nothing wrong with that. As long as you can respect his boundaries whenever he voices it, there won’t be any problems. Be sure to voice yours too, he doesn’t want to overstep any of yours either.

He’s a listener. Ramble about the most random stuff to him and he’d unintentionally take in the information. Sometimes you just going on and on about stuff makes it easier to work on his homework even if what you’re rambling about is related to your own work. If random factoids aren’t exactly what he’s looking for, playing music also helps. You can take turns playing music. He rambles too but not all the time. Usually it’s something relating to his engineering class.

Sebastian can cook up something really good whenever he feels like it. It’s not super fancy but he can recreate some of his mom’s recipes. When it’s not that, it’s just a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich or something microwaved. It really depends on the mood he’s in. If you cook, try making something he hasn’t had, like a dish from your country. He’s always willing to try.

Quality time type of partner. You don’t really need to be doing anything, he’s happy just being in the same room as you.

You two are watching YouTube videos on his laptop in bed late at night until you both fall asleep. One of you sometimes wakes up to put the laptop away, while other times it was almost kicked off the bed. Thankfully it hasn’t happened yet.

Game date nights. Whether it’s PvP or Co-op, you’re both playing. Local or online, doesn’t matter. As long as it’s multiplayer. Sebastian does strikes me as a rogue-like, souls, shooter type of gamer though. He probably picked up Sims at some point and got way too into making houses rather than actually making Sims. Sometimes he playa horror but it scares the shit out of him most of the time.

He sometimes plays his guitar for you, even asking if you have any requests. If you ask nicely enough, he’d help you learn how to play if you don’t already. If you actually end up getting your own, he’d be so down to play with you.

Meeting with his family is pretty much a must (his mom wants to meet you). His big sister embarrasses him by telling you just how much he “gushes” about you. In reality, he talks about you to them whenever they ask and if you two are going out just so they know and to not call or text him or anything until then. Still, his family likes you and that’s all he wants.

Post-Experimentation

Remember how I said Sebastian isn’t exactly uncomfortable with touch? Yeah, now he is. He has a bubble around him and he does not like it when someone gets too close whether it was intentional or not. His reaction to it can vary from shoving them away to a more violent reaction that may lead to a serious injury or even death.

Upon finding a corpse and being so terribly hungry, he had to try and force himself to eat it. The idea of eating another person made him want to spit it all out, to regurgitate all of it out. Flesh, bones, intestines, lungs, liver, heart… “Keep it in your stomach. You won’t find much food after this.” Eventually, he was able to stomach it. Eventually, it became natural.

If you’ve known him before all of this and he meets up with you while the lockdown is still happening, yeah he has questions cause what the hell. He wants to keep you safe, but if you stay around too long, Urbanshade might get suspicious that they lost an expendable’s signal. It’s already bad enough that they want him dead, and the scrambler can be a dead giveaway if their operatives suddenly can’t contact HQ. Just don’t die while you’re out there, please. It’d also be best if they don’t find out about your much deeper connection with him, so there’s another reason why it’d be difficult to stay in touch with each other in the facility.

He’d try to get in touch with Painter just to let him know about you. Lead the Good People away, shoot down a wall dweller that you haven’t noticed yet, all that stuff. He can’t do much about the bull shark, squiddles, and the anglers but he can try to do something about Pandemonium. Unlike the anglers, it’s not a cloud of smoke and is really just rotting flesh.

Physical touch with him in this case is still complicated. He’s very uncomfortable with it and it may take a while for him to warm up to your touch again. He’s not gonna hit you or anything, god no. If you were anyone else, one he doesn’t know, absolutely. He’ll try to express that. The topic itself is sensitive and he never likes bringing it up.

Assuming Mr. Lopee has taken an interest in you and allows you to keep coming back after every death, Sebastian is more willing to help you. Will he give you a discount though? No, especially not if there are other expendables with you. (he will slip in a battery or two though) It’s also a little less worry for him since death isn’t the end for you, but he wonders just how long it’ll take for Urbanshade to realize one of their prisoners is capable of coming back to life. You’re not supposed to have access to the Ferryman Tokens. The expendable protocol was specifically made so that Urbanshade didn’t have to use so much of them.

If you happen to come across something rare or something he usually sells at a high price, he’d appreciate it if you allowed him to take it off your hands and sell it to one of the other EXR-Ps. More intel from them means a higher chance of escaping (hopefully). You two will likely be stuck here for a while as long as no one else takes the crystal before then.

yeah uh

that’s all i got 🧍

[cindytoast404]

hatchetfield dashboard simulator

🎧average-theater-enjoyer Follow

whoever got the last tickets to mamma mia i hope you fucking die

☄️harbringeroftheapotheosis Follow

I have good news for you, op!

3,428 notes

🌺cryingonthefloor-deactivated20210424

running for honey queen this year, wish me luck!!!

🛍️ queenb-deactivated20210503

Alright, Liz Cunningham from Clivesdale.

🌻fuck-clivesdale1935 Follow

GUYS OP JUST GOT DRIVEN OUT OF TOWN WHAT LMAO

🪶birdwatcher Follow

To be fair, she was from Clivesdale. Anyway, respect for whoever got rid of her. You’re an icon.

🪻thetheoristsofhatchetfield Follow

oh my god this post is so interesting. there’s doxxing. both original commenters are now missing or dead. did some research and apparently the honey queen pageant winners have kept turning up missing every year. what is going on over there

☁️floatingupabove Follow

that’s just the average beauty pageant experience

6,364 notes

🐽theonewhofeastsinthedark Follow

cannibalism 👍

72,263 notes

📱alicewoodward Follow

does anyone else think we should shut down watcher world? i mean that place has gotta be violating at least 5 different safety rules, right

💜blinky’s-sniggles-deactivated20200104

ihaven’t eaten in a week! ::)

📱alicewoodward Follow

jesus christ don’t you guys have like. a union or something

💜blinky’s-sniggles-deactivated20201004

we would, but then he’d get mad! :::)

📱alicewoodward Follow

god. can someone get these bitches a lawyer

👨‍⚖️garygoldstein-attorney Follow

Hi, Gary Goldstein, Attorney at Law-

📱alicewoodward Follow

does this town really only have one lawyer

73 notes

👁️ watcher-world-official Follow

This is your friendly reminder to tell a Watcher World employee if you see a sniggle acting against the rules. This includes accessing social media of any kind, including tumblr. It is forbidden by the Watchers, and any sniggles caught using it will be reprimanded.

On another note, ticket prices are now 50% cheaper! Stop by for a weekend of fun. You’ll never want to leave!

43,464 notes

🪴emma-the-crabby-barista Follow

some guy just walked into beanies and just ordered a cup of black coffee for once. see this is how it should be. no fancy drinks, make my life easier. tall random stranger i am in love with you

🪴emma-the-crabby-barista Follow

update: we’re dating

264 notes

🖼️ horror-lover Follow

okay but why is wiggly kinda… 😳😳

☁️ floatingupabove Follow

THE DOLL??!???

🍏 uncle-wiley Follow

I literally sold my soul for that bastard and this still threw me for a loop.

🤓pete-has-been-waiting-for-five-fucking-years Follow

Why is there blue in my hot chocolate.

☄️ harbringeroftheapotheosis Follow

i recommend you drink it!!! :)

🤓pete-has-been-waiting-for-five-fucking-years Follow

…Okay.

🤓pete-has-been-waiting-for-five-fucking-years Follow

i feel like singing.

712 notes

[lilydalexf]

👽 Random X-Files Fic Rec

Mulder and Scully are on a boring case stakeout in a car, and neither is thinking about the case as much as they're thinking about each other and flirting in their very own bizarre way. Their banter is so playful and fun, as is this entire story. Title: interlocus part 1, part 2, part 3 Author: @wtfmulder Summary: post-Millennium. trigger warning? cannibalism talk. i mean it’s the x-files. so. Length: all parts ~3,875 words Classification: None provided Rating: NC-17 Spoilers: Millennium Favorite line: It’s distracting, no good, unprofessional, unsafe nonsense, but damn it all to hell does it feel good. Read the story! Parts 1, 2, 3

[starbuck]

Ravenous is Haunted

Within the lore of Ravenous, eating people causes you to “absorb [their] spirit,” but what does that mean in practice?

Ives mentions that eating someone brave gives you a surge of bravery, which is exactly how Boyd goes from too scared to move to single-handedly capturing the enemy command. The spirit of his fellow soldiers and specifically his commanding officer compel him to do it. But we know that this personality shift is not permanent, it abates. However, I believe that there are other more subtle influences that remain. 

There’s a whole collection of things Boyd, Ives, and Hart do and say that mirror the actions and words of the people they’ve eaten…

The protectiveness that Boyd shows towards the Fort Spencer crew after Ives arrives as colonel is a new trait for him and highly reminiscent of Reich’s protectiveness towards Toffler. From the moment he’s stuck with Ives at the fort, Boyd also immediately decides to murder him, the thing that Reich died furious at him for not doing, and never strays from this mission at all. Boyd and Ives both headbutt each other in their final fight, a Knox fighting move, and Boyd also attempts to strangle Ives at one point, which is Reich’s. Another example that I like is when Hart says to the chickens he’s feeding “run away! run for your lives!” which is what Toffler died doing. These are all small moments in isolation, but together they form a compelling picture. 

For another thing, you have Boyd mentioning to Hart near the end the “nightmares” he’s “still” having about Reich, Cleaves, and Knox. These aren’t just random trauma nightmares, they are specifically about the three people of the Fort Spencer crew that he’s eaten. And, considering how strongly Hart reacts to the mention of this, he is likely experiencing the same thing. Since it is canon that they have actually ABSORBED these people by eating them, I don’t think it’s a stretch at all to call this a haunting. 

Put these together and you have the people who have been eaten haunting the cannibal characters at night and maintaining at least some sway over them by day, often without them even realizing it… Fun stuff!

As far as Ives goes, I think that he is less affected by this phenomenon than Boyd and Hart are. He’s been eating people for much longer than they have, he has no moral compass whatsoever, and he has a very strong personality, so he’s not gonna let a little haunting get to him. That being said, who knows what quirks of his personality we might be able to attribute to people he’s eaten in the past if we knew more about them? I also think that his assumption that he is unaffected by the people he eats is a part of his downfall, and I’ll explain that in a moment. 

The last thing I want to talk about is the bell because that’s what REALLY gets me mmmmmmmmmmm… SO! During Boyd’s fight with Ives, there’s a moment where Ives has fled the room they were fighting in and Boyd doesn’t know where he is, so he’s checking behind all these random doors and not finding him when he hears a bell ringing in the courtyard. He goes out and sees the ringing bell but no one near it. Instead of going towards it where he knows Ives is likely waiting for him though, he walks towards the barn, as if in a daze. When he enters, he sees the bear trap and gets an “Aha!” look on his face. 

Now, who do we know who is associated with both that bell and a bear trap? It’s Reich! He is the only person we ever see ring that bell and (in a deleted scene) he uses bear traps as target practice, shooting at them to snap them shut while Boyd watches. So, at the very least, we can say that Reich indirectly inspires Boyd in that course of action. 

BUT, because I am me, I’d like to take it a step further by proposing that, since Reich is haunting both Boyd AND Ives, he influences Ives to ring the bell (with Ives not consciously thinking anything more of about than “this will surely get Boyd’s attention >:)”) and then influences Boyd to walk over to the barn instead of immediately continuing the fight so he can show him how to end it once and for all. Boyd asked Reich to “tell me what to do,” and Reich answered him!

I did also write a fic about this concept a few years ago if anyone is interested!

[hazbinhazmeinachokehold]

Hello!!! I don’t normally request stuff so idk how to format this, but could you please do like hcs on what it would be like dating Velvette & Rosie (separately) and preferably as a girl?

Not forcing but tysm if you do!!!

a/n: not really gender but written with fem reader in mind

-Very sweet and old timey cartoon-eqsue (but like the cute ones)

-slow dancing, big bouquets, maybe even some love letters. Which is still a thing people do but when at least one of you is wereing a Victorian-era dress it carries a different meaning.

-if you're also a cannibal here then expect to be chilling when she comes in with a dead person like "Hey honey I decided to get lunch!"

-If you're not a cannibal She'll do her best to make non-human-meat good.

-which might be hard cause you live in cannibal colony but y'know.

-values communication tremendously.

-likes to buy you clothes. Mainly dresses in the same style as hers. If dresses ain't your thing she's happy to get suits instead. If you don't like formal wear well fuck.

-Overall very sweet and lovey-dovey, great women to date if you ignore the cannibalism

fashion icons.

-about media posts and making fun of the vees

-Posts a lot about you. To be fair she does that with everyone she has any form of relationship with (whether it's positive or negative.) It's like a ride of passage to show you made an impact on her.

-Brags about you to Vox and Valentino

-Her partner has to be the best of the best so there isn't any reason not to.

-She also does it to make fun of Vox with his weird Alastor obsession.

-GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP

-On both sides.

-Like you could have the most boring life yet she wants to hear about it.

Listen it may have just been petty work drama but she's ready to square up with random middle-aged women for you.

[dragoncityinteriordesign]

Hey, Guardian fans! Got something here you might like!

And that something would be Kaleidoscope of Death (the 2018 gay webnovel) and the Spirealm (the 2024 drama based on it). You can read the more detailed rec posts for both Kaleidoscope of Death and the Spirealm (as well as for some other media, all of which you can read here), but I wanted to come in and do a specific post about why I think fans of Guardian would really have a good time with these two.

This isn't just my observation -- other people who are fans of both have commented on how they scratch the same itch. They're just similar enough to one another to feel familiar, which still different enough that nothing feels repetitive/derivative. It's also funny to me how much the relationship of Guardian the book to Guardian the show is like the relationship of Kaleidoscope of Death to the Spirealm. They're both spooky gay stories that lose a lot in the adaptation to television, but also gain a lot in the process, until it's hard to say which one is the superior telling of the story.

So I'm coming in here with an extremely quick, spoiler-free-as-I-can-make-them five reasons why fans of Guardian in particular might be inclined to enjoy this book/show combo.

1. These boys are not normal about one another

I know you love it when the boys are not normal about one another. Ruan Nanzhu (cunty, well-dressed, on the left) and Lin Qiushi (sporty, cat dad, on the right) are extremely not normal about one another.

(Guardian lucked out in that when the drama was made, shows hadn't yet started doing the bullshit of changing the danmei boys' TV names. Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei are Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei no matter where they are -- but these two are Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi in the book, and Ruan Lanzhu and Ling Jiushi in the show. I'm going to be using their book names just because I've seen them written more often and they look more correct to me now.)

There's a Reason they're together. Maybe they don't go back as far as Ye Olde Haixing, but rest assured theirs is not a random encounter. Also, just like in Guardian, the Reasons in the book and the show have some surface similarities, but play out very differently.

This is a slow-burn gay love story that's a freak4freak relationship featuring two completely different kinds of freak. Lin Qiushi is the only person Ruan Nanzhu's ever let get close to him. Ruan Nanzhu's the only person who's ever pierced Lin Qiushi's cat-loving veil of obliviousness. Theirs is the true love of being willing to burn down the world for the same person you love annoying the pants off of. They're hot-and-cold messes who can't live without one another.

Obviously, as in Guardian's case, the boys-kissing parts are textual only in the book, not in the show. But keeping them from kissing actually ends up making them way less normal about one another. Yes, tell the guy who's technically your boss to platonically call you "daddy." What's not heterosexual about that?

2. Fun horror(-ish)

Both books have fantastic worlds and weird metaphysical conflicts, where terrible and unsettling things happen. They have ghosts and ghost-like things that can scare you and even kill you. Both contain some really unsettling passages about gore, violence, and body horror, and both include at least a bit of background cannibalism from one of the party members.

...And both shows have had those elements totally nerfed by censorship. Just as the ghosts of Diyu become the aliens of Dixing, the mysterious door worlds of Kaleidoscope of Death become the eeeeevil American video game of the Spirealm. It's exactly as silly and nonsensical as it sounds, and I know you can laugh your way through how stupid the adaptation choices are, because you already have.

Does this destroy the horror of it? Eh, yes and no. No, because there are still fundamentally some horror-esque things going on. But also yes, because having all these killer doors be part of a video game is about as nonsensical as having a lot of aliens living in the center of the earth, and it all winds up being a bit ... well, silly. At least Guardian had the excuse of having to do a last-minute scramble; the Spirealm was committed to this from the start. (What the Spirealm also has that Guardian the show lacks is the occasional hilarious, perfunctory digression into how eeeeeeevil capitalism is, which is its own form of both cringe and comedy.)

The book is legitimately creepy, though. There were a couple points I found myself reading it late at night, right before going to bed, and thinking, hm, maybe I should not be doing this. I love it so much that I actually read it the first time, got to the very important information in the first extra, turned right around, and read it a second time with that new context. It's not so horror that a casual reader couldn't enjoy it, but maybe leave the lights on while you do.

3. We're not co-workers, we're found family.

You know how the SIU/SID crew is the best and the most wonderful and you want to pick them up and hug them all and put them in your pocket and carry them around with you? Yeah, it's likely you're going to have a similar reaction to the Obsidian members and their associated friends.

Both SIU/SID and Obsidian have similar qualities where they're organizations operating under the radar of normal society, doing jobs that do not respect 9-5 boundaries or lunch breaks, where things are dangerous enough that you have to trust your co-workers with your life on a very regular basis. But while only the Guardian ghosts live at headquarters, everyone in Obsidian shares the same house. They eat meals together, watch movies together, play board games together, hang out and read in the TV pit together, decorate the house for New Year's together, barge into one another's rooms together...

Did you love it when Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan wound up living in apartments conveniently across the hall from one another? You're likely going to feel a similar kind of way when Ruan Nanzhu immediately moves Lin Qiushi (and his cat!) into the bedroom across the hall from his own.

As with Guardian, the book has more characters than the show does, but that's because it's cheaper to write a new character than it is to hire a new actor. And it's also easier to write off a new character than it is to get rid of a main cast member, so the book and the show have slightly different lists of who lives and who dies, and when. Take my "be careful who you get attached to" warning seriously.

4. A similarly batshit television aesthetic

Okay, okay, so nothing will ever be like Guardian's thrift-store maximalist approach to set dressing. The Spirealm is more intentional about its choices, and less like all it can afford to do is to keep reusing the same dozen objects repositioned slightly. The Spirealm is what it looks like when you actually have all the money you need and still choose to decorate like Guardian did.

Because of the story's supernatural main conceit, a lot of the environments are bizarre, impossible worlds that do not rely much on petty little things like logic or accuracy or the laws of physics. They're basically dreamscapes, filled with things that don't make sense but also don't have to.

The whole thing is also beautifully shot. I know that a lot of the screenshots emphasize the extremely yellow Wong Kar-wai color grading that I honestly wish weren't there, but it's fine in context. Really, the framing, the motion of the camera, the composition of scenes -- it's just all lovely. I've been watching it with no sound or subtitles on to do screenshots, and I keep being astonished by how nice it is to just look at.

Shen Wei's clothing choices seem tame compared to the high strangness Ruan Nanzhu considers fashion. He'll see your arm garters and raise you a coat that somehow has three lapels. No, I don't know how it works either. But if you like seeing a beautiful bitchy man in bizarre outfits (and I know you do), the Spirealm's got you covered.

And are there inexplicable English-titled books, both generically fake and perplexingly real? Baby, you know there are.

The Spirealm's set design is ultimately not nearly as interesting as Guardian's is, but it's definitely more engaging than most. If you (like me!) enjoy pausing and squinting at the backgrounds of shots, this will bring you hours of scrutinizing entertainment.

5. Not not the same endings

By this I mean, the end of Guardian the book is to the end of Guardian the show as the end of Kaleidoscope of Death is to the end of the Spirealm. I don't mean the exact same things happen, and I can't tell you exactly what happens without spoiling some major things I don't think should be spoiled. What I do mean is that they feel very similar in the relationship between source and adaptation.

Now that I've said this, you're going to be thinking, oh, I know how it ends! No, I promise, you really don't. But when you finally experience said endings, you're going to understand what I mean. Xi Zixu, writing Kaleidoscope of Death in 2018, could not have been responding to the ending of Guardian the show, which was airing at the same time the novel was being released. However, I'd be willing to put down a not-small amount of money that the production team on the Spirealm was at least passingly familiar with Guardian. I don't think it's accurate to say the Spirealm's ending is a direct response to Guardian the show's ending, but I do believe it understands that it's contributing to a conversation to which the endings of both Guardian versions already belong.

And that's all I'm going to say about that! You'll get it when you get there.

bonus: kitty!

This is Chestnut. Chestnut is perfect.

I find it charming how much Xi Zixu, the author, loves cats. She talks about her cat in her author's notes. She waxes poetic about how great cats are in the prose. She has obviously chosen to make Lin Qiushi a cat dad for reasons of writing her own favorite personal traits onto her blorbos.

Of course Ruan Nanzhu is jealous of a cat. He's jealous of himself. He's a one-man jealousy machine when it comes to Lin Qiushi's affections. He's being so normal right now.

Have I convinced you?

Scroll down to the bottom of the rec posts I mentioned earlier to find all the information you need to read Kaleidoscope of Death and all the information you need to watch the Spirealm.

My final verdict is that Guardian the show is substantially better than the Spirealm, and Guardian the book is also better than Kaleidoscope of Death -- but by a much, much narrower margin. I don't even have strong feelings about which one of them you should experience first; I actually started the show, jumped to the book, read it while I was watching the middle episodes, and then finished the show, and even that broken-ass order was not a bad way to approach them. But be prepared to do both! You'll want to do both. Trust me.

Anyway, after you're done watching/reading, come find me at @thirteenthdoor, which is where I'm putting all my Kaleidoscope of Death/Spirealm analysis, reblogs, and shitposting. But only after, because I'm not being careful about spoilers at all over there.

See you in the doors!

[bedtime-broadcast]

[Snatches the baby pictures and shows them to Charlie.]

Charlie! Don't you think teeny you and Calliope coulda been twins?

Charlie: *blinks and looks at the photos* Yeah…there is definitely a resemblance. In fact this one time…

Flashback…six months ago…

Alastor: *carrying Calliope* Charlie my dear I have a favor to ask.

Charlie: Oh? Is everything okay?

Alastor: I’m afraid I have some business I must attend to. Business that I would rather not have Calliope involved in. Would you be able to babysit for a bit? I’ll be able to —

Charlie: *excited* YES! I WILL WATCH YOUR BABY! I LOVE BABIES!

Alastor: Excellent! *snaps his fingers, summoning a packed diaper bag* I have everything she needs and have included some emergency numbers for the nearest clinic in Cannibal Town! She’s still breastfeeding so I saved some milk in the fridge! Be sure to heat it up as it says on the paper!

Charlie: Alastor relax. I’m sure Callie will be fine with me!

Alastor: Great! *he kisses Calliope’s forehead* Be a good girl for Miss Charlie my dear! *gently passes her over to Charlie* Have fun today! But not too much fun! Tah-TAH! *disappears in the shadows*

Charlie: Okay Callie! Let’s have some fun okay? Maybe you can help me recruit some new guests for the hotel!

Calliope: (6 months old) *only suckles on her nookie*

—————

In Pentagram City…

Charlie and Vaggie stroll through the crowd, a bright pink stroller catching eyes at every turn. Inside it sits Calliope happily gnawing on a soft teething ring.

Charlie pushes the stroller with a big smile, while Vaggie hands out flyers to potential guests for the Hazbin Hotel.

But people aren’t looking at the flyers. They’re staring at the baby.

Passing Demon #1: Yo, is that—wait, Princess Charlie had a baby?! With who??

Passing Demon #2: *gasping* That kid looks exactly like her! Look at those curls! Those eyes!

Random Imp Lady: * approaches Charlie* O-M-G... Congratulations! Who’s the lucky dad?

Charlie: *blinking, smiling nervously* Oh! Uh—thank you, but she’s not mine! I mean—technically, yes, I am watching her, but—

Vaggie: She’s not hers. She’s Alastor’s.

The crowd collectively stares. Someone drops a pretzel.

Random Demon Guy: Alastor had a baby?

Imp Demon Lady: You mean the Alastor? Like, the Radio Demon? With the laugh and the antlers?

Vaggie: Yup.

Passing Demon #3 *snorts* Yeah right. He’s a sinner! Sinner’s can’t have kids! That kid’s gotta be Charlie’s. Look at the face. It’s like looking at a baby photo of you, princess!

Charlie leans down and studies Calliope, who blinks up at her with wide red eyes and offers her drool-soaked teether like a peace offering. She does look uncannily like Charlie— same cheek circles, same hair color, hell even their skin tones were the same.

Charlie: ...Yeah. There’s definitely a resemblance.

[pyromaniacldrt]

HELLO EVERYBODYYY

Time for another list of random headcannon's of the Wild Kratts Characters!

Kinda forgot I didn't do any of the villains, so...

Grabs Gaston with the ire of a thousend famelic men*

Hi:D

I think Gaston has eaten battery acid at least once. I will not elaborate.

Unlike popular belief, Gaston is identical to his mother in every aspect except his eyes, hers being green like Gaston's ancestor.

Gaston doesn't actually know his nationality nor birthday, since his mother never made his id until she got arrested for it. Twice.

He still doesn't have it. Too much work.

Still a great mom, just, y'know, quite a crook. Or an animal dealer. Possibly both.

He was inspired by her job to cook endangered animals.

He discovered his passion when he went to a cuisine program on a small restaurant and boiled an egg for the first time. He treasures that memory a lot.

He is actually a prodigy at cooking, but he's got the wrong spirit. And intentions.

Gaston reached his golden age of cooking when he cheated on a poker game against an old lady (his kitchen mentor) and got her restaurant. He does not feel guilty about it.

That was until a waiter denounced him for his cuestionable ingridients and lost his cooking license, along with the restaurant.

He would later see the waiter again as the pilot of the Wild Kratts.

He was going to be mad, if it wasn't for the fact that it was the Kratt brothers the ones who convinced the waiter to call the police in the first place.

That, and the fact he met the other Villains. He stoped giving a heck about Jimmy the moment he got the cahnce to do evil stuff.

And obce he got his truck. He loves his truck.

He is the type to hold grudges, but normally he just gets insuferable.

He hates gingerbread.

Gaston has the habit of going to restaurants, order unhinged amounts of food, critique every single one of them in the cruelest way possible, and then leave without paying.

He's completly fine with cannibalism, and he may or may not have tried human flesh. We will never know.

He LOVES gossip, specially when Donita shares it, since she always gets to the juicy details.

If he could, he would've kicked Zach out of any window.

His second name is Geoff.

He thought Paisley was fun to disturb.

Pyro Out!

WK edition!

Martin - Koki - Chris - Aviva - Jimmy

[lalasworld2x]

Naps with the Sawyer Brothers

Can be read platonically or romantically!!

In the minds of the Sawyer family, they are completely normal. They do normal things! Like grocery shopping (with whatever money they’ve stolen), cooking (cannibalism), chores (hiding bodies), farming (this is okay), and taking naps.

Drayton usually takes naps by himself on the couch or in his bedroom. When the boys were younger, they used to dog pile on him and have a family nap session. Unfortunately Grandpa could never join but nobody exactly expected him to…

Ever since they met you though, Drayton has had more time to himself. You’ve been a great hand around the farm, the house, and the gas station. He honestly hasn’t been as tired lately because of it. Whilst he does have naps sometimes, it’s much less often and always by himself.

This has not stopped the boys from their sleep sessions. In fact, you often join them. Bubba’s usually the first one to lay down as he’s always put to the task of swinging his chainsaw around and cutting up massive chunks of meat. He’ll find the closest and biggest bed to lay on, already in the habit of knowing what will eventually happen. Nubbins often comes next just because he thinks Bubba always needs some sort of company. Then it varies between you and Chop Top (now that Chop Top is back from the war). Of course, this order is not a set science, but it is something the lot of you have noticed over the years.

Bubba likes to be on the end just because he gets sweaty when crammed in the middle. Nubbins sleeps on the other side because he finds it absolutely hilarious when he occasionally falls off the edge. Chop Top always has his arms around the shoulders of whoever is on each side of him. He’ll fluff up their hair or mindlessly stroke lines and circles into their skin.

The moment one person finally falls asleep, everyone else drops off like flies too. Yes, there is a lot of snoring. It definitely does get hot, especially in Texan heat. You have gotten used to the fact that someone will probably rip their shirt or pants (or both) off just to get some cool air. It gets pretty smelly and you will definitely opt for a sweet, sweet shower later. There will probably be something pokey or sharp in the bed, like animal bones or a meat mallet or an entire camera.

Nubbins is restless as hell. Legs a-swinging, arms a-flying, fists a-smacking. This is why he’s always dropping to the floor. This is also why you always wake up with random bruises (or wake up while being bruised). If Chop Top wakes up, he’ll slam Nubbins in the head to get him to settle down again. If Bubba wakes up (which isn’t common considering he sleeps like a hibernating bear (same)), he’ll just give up and get back to work. Once Bubba’s done napping, the rest of you usually follow because he’s the most calm and collected one out of the three brothers. Without him, it is absolute chaos on the bed.

There have been multiple occasions where Drayton has come into the room to tell the lot of you off for snoozing. He is of course guilty of that as well, but he’s the parent of the household so what he says, goes.

Overall, nap time with the Sawyers is a fun ride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masterlist

[a-hazbin-reader]

Can I please request a Vox x Female Childish Reader just like the meme that goes...

Random Imp: Hey! Some dude is jumping going off to the bungee swing backwards!

Vox who was currently talking to the other 2 V's: Hah, What an idiot

Female Reader: I'M GOING OFF THE BUNGEE SWING BACKWARDS!!!

Vox: Oh no...THAT'S MY IDIOT!!!

I'm up for any ask that gives Vox a headache

Vox X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: None?? I think?? Cartoonish scenarios??

Description: ☝️⬆️

You are so goofy and childish and it's one of the reasons Vox actually fell in love with you

It's so refreshing to have someone who's always looking for fun things to do in Hell instead of being miserable or scared

When he first met you, he assumed you were just stupid, watching you run from a group of hungry cannibals while calling it tag

Almost considered leaving you to your fate but something about the way you squealed in excitement as they caught up to you made his heart flip

So he reluctantly saves you and you've become a thorn in his side ever since

A thorn that he's come to love and look forward to seeing every day, often wishing he could just blow off work to spend time with you

Literally does everything you want to do, even at the price of his own pride, that's how whipped Vox is for you

You wanna play the floor is lava?? He's jumping on the nearest piece of furniture and trying to knock you off your perch

You're playing hide and seek?? Fine! Vox is roping in the other V's and he's literally tearing apart everything to find your ass

How tf did you get INSIDE the couch!?!?!

He's in a meeting with the other overlords and you suddenly start a game of Duck Duck Goose, picking him as the goose???

You bet your ass Vox is chasing after you like you owe him money, the others just watching in bewilderment

You start a pillow fight?? He's going to start a pillow WAR

He wants to fucking WIN

Literally adores your childish nature but won't admit it to anyone, no matter how obvious it is

On the other hand...

You fucking stress him out sometimes, getting yourself into the strangest situations

Vox once caught you playing hopscotch with Alastor, winner gets to keep your soul

WHY DID YOU AGREE TO THAT

Relax Voxie~ I won anyways~

You get yourself into a game of musical chairs with a humongous dinosaur demon??

Vox is still having nightmares of you being squashed by that gigantic ass 😒

One of the worst things you've ever done to him is video call him while you're about to do a bungee jump

He was stuck discussing business with the other V's when you suddenly appear on his phone, immediately cheering him up

What could his cute Y/N want now~?

"Hey Voxie~! I'm about to jump off this bridge and do a flip! I want you to watch me!!"

"You're gonna WHAT!?"

Nearly short circuits right then and there, his screen glitching out from the sudden wave of stress

He zaps your way the moment he sees that you're jumping, grabbing the bungee rope and pulling you up with his own two hands

Vox ignores all your whining and pouting over him spoiling your fun, pulling you into his arms and shaking from the adrenaline rush

You are just so confused, you were only having fun...it's his fault for being so busy all the time that you get bored

He's still trying to get his breathing back to normal when he suddenly touches foreheads with you

He squishes your cheeks together and gives you a tired look

"You...are not leaving our bedroom for the rest of the week..."

"Voxie!! That's no fair!!"

I hope this is what you wanted!! I had so much fun writing it!

[mysticcollectionbee]

Just a random thought I had: I would really like to see Carmilla and Alastor interact more in the future seasons. I don't think people realize how weird it is that Carmilla put Alastor on the Board of Overlords and how interesting their business dynamic could be. Carmilla, lady of order and professionalism...Put ALASTOR in a meeting room. I get inviting him to join because respect (and probable fear of this mysterious guy who has been killing your associates deciding to kill YOU out of disrespect), but...After you realize he doesn't take anything about being an Overlord that serious why do you keep inviting him??? He'll keep coming because he might get entertainment and useful info out of it but what does Carmilla get out of him being there?

My best idea is that maybe he kinda works as a fail-safe in case somebody tries to start a physical fight or something. Alastor clearly enjoys any excuse to kill and eat people so that could work for that. And everyone in that room knows he's capable of killing them but doesn't. So they might use that evidence as to why they should respect the rules of the meeting and Carmilla, because the Radio Demon respects it.

But the last part is 90% a bluff. Alastor doesn't respect nor care about the board of Overlords whatsoever. He might have mild respect for Carmilla, because he seems to like women more than men and atleast pretends to respect her position among the overlords. But they probably dislike interacting with each other. Carmilla has to deal with him not taking anything she cares about when it comes to their profession and title seriously, his enjoyment of chaos probably getting in the way of their meeting occasionally (She probably saw or atleast later on heard from Zestial about Alastor bringing an Egg boi to the meeting), and the biggest issue for her: Deal with a person who constantly has or had KILLED YOUR ASSOCIATES and broadcasts it. Add to the fact that Alastor is probably a bit hard to predict because he can switch from goofy and charismatic radio show host to The sadistic and calculating Radio Demon very quickly.

On Alastor's side: Here's a person who thinks they're wiser than him and believes there should be order to owning souls and territory when all he seems to care about is doing what HE wants and HIS version of control on things. She's passive aggressive or atleast snarky to him as retaliation for his unprofessionalism and to keep his ego in his check. And overall, Alastor probably sees her as a stick in the mud trying to ruin his sadistic fun.

But they still respect each other while disliking each other (Kinda like how you might have a coworker who gets his work done and is useful to the group...But whose personality you can't stand) . Carmilla probably respects Alastor's power and his role in keeping the Overlords in check (I don't think she would be able to make an Board of Overlords if there were so many of them and some of them might've wanted to kill her for trying to "boss them around"). Alastor probably respects how much of a smart professional she is, her ability to lead and try to control the group she made, and her being a dutiful mother (Remember Al is canonically a mama's boy and according to old canon feels like a surrogate father or atleast responsible for Niffty in a similar way despite her age). So yeah, I need to see them interact more. I want to see their first interaction (How did Carmilla react to finding out the mysterious voice on the radio was some red deer guy who makes cannibal puns?). Has Carmilla ever tried to subtly suggest certain Overlords Alastor should target next? Would Alastor hear her out or just ignore it?

Anyways, that's my thought about it. Both of them are now kinda allies to the hotel (specifically Vaggie) so it would be nice to see them interact more.