#as much as i like the former idea
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rennala marika toxic yuri i cant get you out of my head
#long rant incoming#it is very much implied that marika and radagom are their own people/personalities. theyre just stuck in the same body#i am of the belief that radagon was created or manifested after marika ascended to godhood#as his presence is mysterious and miriel was actively confused as to why just. some guy. some champion would have so much control over an-#-army (referring to the caria/erdtree war)#i think its fascinating to think radagon and marika are the same person. not just in the literal inhabitance of the body. like two-#-different sides of a person#but the lore very much leans towards them having their own conscience#as much as i like the former idea#BUT the description of the preceptors hat/mask has implications that rennala possibly knew of this secret#because what other secret does radagon have to hide?#and like. she stayed with him despite this.#(sorry for the amount of this i said imply/implication)#there is not much material to go off of for marika/renalla but its not like there isnt ANY#toxic yuri......#i once talked about an interesting parallel between them but i literally have to fresh myself up on that#as i dont think about them very often#edit: oh fuck me dead i forgot to tag spoiler#elden ring spoilers
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“You’re a caveman. And I’ve invented fire.”
Close-ups under the cut :)
#I've had this idea since May and I've finally finished it#Did the sketch after watching SAD for the second time#I watched the end of One Step Ahead when the camera closes in on Curt and Joey's finger guns and Curt was kneeling#and I was struck violently and urgently with this idea#And then I proceeded to put it off for a million years up until last week when I picked it back up#I'm very proud of this one and I hope you guys like it as much as I do#I really love doing painting parodies and this one worked just too well#Anyways yeah- spent almost 12 hours on this piece so that's fun- time to go draw more!#Fun fact: Former US President Andrew Jackson was a flat earther#yikes#Spies are forever#SAF#Spies are forever fanart#SAF TCB#Tin Can Brothers#Tin Can Bros#tin can bros fanart#Curt Mega#Agent Curt Mega#Owen Carvour#Joey Richter#the creation of adam#The creation of adam parody#My art
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AU where there is some sort of zombie-like (maybe something like a rabid vampirism?)
Where one of the boys is bit/infected and desperately wants the other to join them, while also wanting to resist?
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#oh that sounds so sad#I feel like in tragic scenarios like this Machete is always destined to be the weaker link#simply because the thought of Vasco unraveling and losing his mind legimately upsets me#like if Machete has rough time that's typical and he's used to it#but if they lose Vasco then they're both doomed#you know#I've always been really sensitive to zombie stories that deal with the concept of your loved one getting infected#and not quite knowing when they've gone too far and if there's still some of their former self left or not#they never end well but the idea of a person delusionally clinging to the hope of them both making it just#a trope that cuts deep instantly#anonymous#answered#now that I'm thinking about it this probably affects me so much because I have a massive fear of dementia#it runs in my family and I've seen what it can do to a person's psyche and personality and it scares me to death
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Hello to the Buddyfight fandom it's been a hot minute but god do i miss this show and have been making fanart for it in the background so i thought i'd post to tumblr too ^^
I swear every year I end up coming back to this show and wishing that it kept going, that it got rebooted, that i could just erase my memories of this show and just watch it all over again from the beginning to enjoy everything once again from Tasuku's own sense of justice twisting against him to Gao's suffering of PTSD and how heartfelt it was handled.
There's something very special about this show that I haven't been able to find replicated elsewhere. It has the most perfect world to exist (so much so that i'd love to be isekai'd into it if i could!!!) and while i have my own gripes with it (hi S3+) i honestly sometimes wish i could go back to my high school years of watching this show just to relive it all again :'D
Anyways!!! I hope there's still people out there who enjoy this show even ten years later who'll like seeing new funny artwork for it!
I wanna add too that i'm hoping to create a rewrite of FCBF (ft. seasons 1-3 + Ace) or at least create more artwork for my interpretation of it and its world!
Because, sincerely, this show is one of the few that, for all its flaws, hasn't disappointed me in the years that've followed unlike many other things i've seen and i wanna try to keep the spirit of it alive while I can thanks to that. And if there are any fans still in existence who love it, i wanna provide some food while its once again in my orbit because damn do i adore this show <3 <3 <#
#it's been like a year but im back on my buddyfight kick again#and since im back feeling dejected about OC things again i might try and focus on buddyfight stuff for a bit :Dc#fcbf#future card buddyfight#buddyfight#Deathgaze Death Dragon#Noboru Kodo#Tasuku Ryuenji#Gao Mikado#Drumbunker Dragon#Sawblade Dragon is a funny little critter I made as part of Tasuku's deck in my AU that im writing#and the other two monsters you can just barely see in the last image are Gallows/a Buddy I gifted Sofia#because tbh Sofia really needed a Buddy#specifically a Star Dragon World one#though as of this point in my AU she doesn't have her Star Dragon buddy bc it doesn't “Exist” yet ofc#middlemost image is also an old art thing but a headcanon thing for those mystery kids bc i like them despite not being a fan of-#Sofia/Tasuku all that much (tho had more effort gone into the writing behind them i probably would have liked them tbh lol)#I mean who doesn't like the idea of a guy who was at her side specifically and worked with her to achieve the bad guys goals#ends up watching his precious Buddy be attacked by her which is what snaps him out of his corrupted mental state to finally realize he's in#the wrong#& then when he later meets her as enemies he suffers cognitive dissonance of both loathing and respect towards her which culminates in him-#holding a personal vendetta towards her while also recognizing her efforts as a former ally who helped him during his Disaster days#and so when he gets to the future and has to rely on her help and guidance he has to confront the fact they're two sides of the same coin#& that she's neither an ally nor enemy but a mirror to himself of what he could've been if he'd decided to take action outside of the law#i mean#there was a LOOOOOOT of missed potential between Tasuku & Sofia if the show really wanted to go down the route of implying they end up a-#couple in canon (ESPECIALLY compared to Tasuku/Gao where it's clear Tasuku cares deeply about Gao and doesn't give a damn about Sofia)#and idk i felt we were robbed of a lot of things that could have given chemistry between Sofia and Tasuku
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been drawing a sorta reference thingy for Salesman Barry in the timeloop au i've been rotating around in my brain for a while recently :] it isn't as much a character design reference as it is more of a reference for how Barry's mental state begins to deteriorate as he starts having intense deja vu and nightmares every time his timeline gets reset upon death and he tries to piece together what is going on out of pure desperation and instincts (he is being experimented on and doesn't know it yet). i want to throw him at a wall (affectionate)
it is still a WIP as i haven't drawn all the details yet and i want to change the colours as they look too dull on my pc,,, also here is the original sketch :D
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#salesman!barry steakfries#i have been thinking of more ideas for the timeloop au..... still haven't come up with a proper name for it yet though loolll#i like putting barry in horrible traumatising situations it's fun seeing his character traits get pushed to their limits#first i'm putting him through a brutal survivalist zombie landscape that makes barry question if he'll even make it out alive this time#and then i'm shoving him into a horrible reality where his life and timeline are fake and his whole reality literally starts to shatter#its ok he gets better!!!#not so much craig though :( craig gets it rough#he basically goes through a horrific accident involving experimental technology that damns him to an existence that is permanently-#-attached to the timeline itself where he will die if the timeline gets wiped or he tries to enter another one#craig's existence is basically a living purgatory where he can never age or die but he is no longer alive as his former self anymore#he's like a half-ghost and he ends up doomed no matter what action barry would take at the end of the story#if barry erases the timeline craig dies. if craig tries to come with barry to the new timeline he dies.#if barry does nothing and keeps living in this broken timeline loop he's in then craig will never escape and have the chance to help barry#oh yeah i forgot to mention craig is trapped in a basement. and also that this post is about barry. woops#barry has to basically become a detective in this story and string together what the fuck is happening based on pure instincts alone#he's like a conspiracy theorist with his board covered in photos connected by red strings#it's really cool i think..... i should make a whole separate post about this#i love drawing my little man :)#he's so traumatised he needs a big hug and a best friend and tons of therapy and plenty of ice cream#i'm just thinkin of the effects of barry's trauma after he goes through the events of timeloop and enters the new dimension#dude's probably gonna have tones of nightmares and trust issues and dissociative episodes#he's probably going to develop a compulsion where he continuously checks the date and time because he's terrified of it resetting again#he needs a hug seriously#alternate universe#my au
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Character inspo things, i thought about making these a lil while ago when the trend was going around but i could never think of enough characters to fill it all the way (i still can't, but eh fuck it)
#I don't usually drag inspo from a lot of specific places when it comes to character creation so it's hard for me to think of such#i would make these for the other ocs too if i even had much like. there's quite literally nothing i can connection Jiro and Hitaru to#Akemi's personality is inspired by Karin from street fighter alpha and that's pretty much it#nothing much for Bashira and Ippei other than making them feel like Ayame results from the two#Emina doesn't have anything other than that either. But Ayato takes slight inspiration from Butterscotch Horseman#Hamato is just meant to resemble Ando. and strangely enough the one character inspo for Yukari is Honeyspring from Lutumclan#(don't ask how that connects honestly. idk either) + La chorona song from Coco#none of these are enough to fill even half of this template so I'm not making one for the other Another series ocs#onto the ones that are actually here tho! let me elaborate on them#starting with Beni there's Kanata who's a big inspo when it comes to character design beats. as explained in the breakdown post i made#Retsuko and the unused idea for her expression and general anger prone aspect if Beni's personality#Mirei and Nayuta are more tied to her age specifically. the former for her adult self and latter the child one#they give “what is wrong with her” kinda vibes to me#Kizuna and Ayame on Akira's is self explanatory. she's a fankid of course inspo will be drawn from the parents#but other than desigh beats I'd say her personality leans more heavily on Kizuna inspo and Ayame a little less#Callie was not an inspo for her originally but ever since i notices that they look similar i feel like Akira has gotten dumber/sillier#it affects how i imagine the way she talks too. Callie but moreso Mr.Peanutbutter on that speech pattern department#and Juri is there for clothing style as in big baggy pants and crop top looking shirts. color scheme a bit too#hyena ramblings#dra#oc#fankid#Benitsuru Ando#Akira Tomori Hatano
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currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad
#project moon#wonderlab#seriously wonderlab was so fucking good that like#the entire time pre-limbus release every time we got news i would get so excited for a potential followup on wonderlab's ending#and the idea of seeing characters like taii#with amazing designs from a comic that already had some absolutely stunning imagery#drawn in a style like the absolutely fucking beautiful painterly style of ruina's character art and cgs#getting to see more of taii and the other survivors of the branch and seeing where their lives would go after that ending#seeing how the loss of so many important people would affect them and how they'd struggle in the aftermath of l corp's collapse#we already had ONE distortion in the ending of wonderlab with catt and that happened BASICALLY MOMENTS AFTER LOBCORP'S ENDING#can you IMAGINE how cool it'd be to see all of these characters#who already have experience with combat and ego and weird anomalous monsters via their work in the branch#react to and potentially figure out and adapt to the distortion phenomenon?#LITERALLY THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF LIMBUS IS GOING INTO FORMER L CORP BRANCHES#THAT'S THE SELLING POINT OF THE GAME! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE! OF COURSE I WOULD GET EXCITED ABOUT MORE WONDERLAB STUFF!#BUT NOW WE'LL NEVER GET THAT#WE'LL NEVER SEE TAII AGAIN IN OFFICIAL MEDIA#WE'RE JUST LEFT WITH THE MEMORY OF THAT FINAL PANEL AND TAII GAZING OVER THIS STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL SURREAL LANDSCAPE#WITH PROMISES OF A JOURNEY WE'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE#FUCK I MISS WONDERLAB#wonderlab was so fucking good that it accidentally became the cornerstone of my entire perspective on project moon's works as a whole#and now that it's gone i can't go back to lobcorp or ruina without feeling its absence like a gaping void in my chest#the only thing left in its place being the knowledge of the shitshow that was the drama surrounding project moon for a while#and the thought that maybe in a different world we would've gotten to see more#FUCK man#no joke i literally made myself cry typing this whole rant out#suddenly learning that wonderlab had been taken down was a fucking wound i have never recovered from#and i've never been able to look at ruina or limbus with the same sense of awe and wonder and curiosity ever since#just the bitter knowledge that yet another formerly beloved story and world has fallen into corporate nightmares and gacha cash grabs#i haven't been able to keep up with project moon much at all since. i don't know if anything else has happened.
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farewell, my idiot son…
#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~
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How self-insert-y do I want to get with this new oc 🤔
#okay SO she's a former priestess (read: beaurocrat) in training#but then she gets irreversibly possessed by a mild-mannered raccoon monster and they have to coexist while their#shared body is breaking down under the strain of trying to keep up with its two inhabitants (human and monster)#the question is: what do they latch onto as a diversion#a way to expend the new excessive energy that is literally slow-cooking them alive (they get fevers & they have insomnia)#(and the only way for them to survive long-term is to find SOMETHING TO DO that will burn that energy)#my original idea was to have them get into a board game and I had a whole plan for that. but it didn't feel quite right#and now I'm eyeing the idea that they might..... do pottery#would that be self-indulgent?? probably?? but also it's so cool and it would be perfect for themmmm#what plot would work with that though?? HMMMM#PONDERING#MUSING#ET CETERA#Robin speaks#new oc is already so much like me. do I Really want to make her a potter too
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What's your interpretation that the left hand of cleric beast is much bigger that the right?🤔
Well, like I've pointed out before, the only explanation I am seeing is blood ministration being done on the left arm!
However, this might get a little more interesting with the Cleric Beasts, because Emilia is also one, yet her arms are symmetrical!
My closest guess to why it happened is because of something Healing Church has been known to do with female bodies. Namely - do some sort of surgery/manipulation/operation on them in order to change their blood type into 'holy blood' one, which they are able to share with the hunters!
English localization team had to use term "groomed" instead of whatever this actually says, and this is definitely going into top 10 of my biggest headaches with mistranslations! As you can see from the Japanese script retranslation ( x ), the meaning is more literal, implying a procedure. I always felt like it would be a surgery on bone marrow, since this is where blood cells are produced, and doctors in Bloodborne could have learned to alter them into having impossible type of blood!
So, as a female cleric, Amelia might have had her first communion with the holy blood as a Blood Saint, instead of generic blood ministration treatment like apparently everyone else has!
I am still not sure why female staff specifically was the Blood Saints, since apparently blood vials are not menstrual blood, as we can learn thanks to Adeline:
Maybe it could have something to do with menstrual cycle, though, because of the whole cycle of moon vs menstrual cycle thing, and Laurence being affiliated with Moon Presence, and then Micolash also stealing his swag and basing his own institution on:
I'd say this is either some sort of deeply rooted superstition within the setting, or in fact, yes, the holy blood links to the Great Ones who put HELLA importance on blood and birth, so being biologically female is crucial for that link to take intended effects.
Ludwig is an interesting case, though! He was SUPPOSED to have blood ministration too, like Laurence or Cleric Beast of the Bridge! Why would not the first Healing Church hunter and the HEAD of their hunters do something so crucial? Especially since Cleric Beast of the Bridge drops the Sword Badge with which you buy Hunter Chief Emblem, implying that this beast is currently what Ludwig used to be? But his left arm is not bigger. In fact, it is even smaller. So I am trying to think of the variants of what had happened here:
1) Ludwig somehow merged with an actual horse, so his anatomy is simply no longer judged through the same lense
2) Ludwig is a leftie, and this is where he holds his Holy Moonlight Sword, so its effect would be a "remedy" for possible arm deformations
3) Ludwig is not a simple beast, but the one with a lot of Kin features, so his anatomy is simply no longer judged through the same lense (+horses are primarily herbivores, and Kin is associated with the flora in the setting, so maybe that's why he went horsegirl mode instead of getting something weak like antlers lol)
4) Ludwig is trans and actually was the first to get Blood Saint treatment rather than regular blood ministration (+we take Adeline's blood from her right arm, and notice that his right arm is a little bigger)
5) Ludwig is a cis man and was the first biological male who attempted to receive Blood Saint treatment instead of regular blood ministration, but that didn't take the intended effect because the gods Be Like That in the setting + his unusual visions and mutation might be the side effect of that and that's why Healing Church stopped doing that with male organisms. Basically, if a male attempts becoming a living factory for the holy blood, it will go "wrong".
6) Combinations of the above points
.....Okay, that went a little unfocused from the initial topic, but you see my points here! Thank you for the ask!
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Bonus ideas:
- Whereas Ludwig is holding the Holy Moonlight Sword in his left hand, Amelia also is grasping the Gold Pendant in her left hand. So maybe nothing was special about her, but holding a special item in the "effected" hand will remedy the asymmetry effect, and had Amelia not been doing that all the time, she'd be asymmetrical too?
- Amelia using recolored model for Bell-Ringing Woman for her appearance might be not accidental, but a fuel for the headcanon that she has Pthumerian blood too, and Pthumerians might simply evolve differently, or traditionally have different way they' go for the blood communition. Off the top of my head, look at Loran Clerics having same sized arms:
Basically, I can answer why Cleric Beasts and the huntsmen have asymmetrical arms, but not why people like Emilia and Ludwig broke the trend despite being the first in line to have blood ministration normally... Because I just have too many ideas, and my preference usually falls towards the most logical ones, but when there are equally logical ideas I become helpless :')
#bloodborne#cleric beast#vicar amelia#ludwig the accursed#bloodborne theory#bloodborne headcanons#use later#ask replies#i actually like the idea that part of ludwig's suffering is just great ones going 'bitch I said I wanted someone with MENSES for this one'#laurence would also not be above using someone as a lab rat but to his honor he clearly used HIMSELF as a lab rat as well dfsjhfdh#but Ludwig being actually the first Blood Saint is interesting!#he could share blood vials with his own knights right on the battlefield#i am just.. Basically Laurence and Micolash (ESPECIALLY Micolash) deeply resenting not being female works sooo well#I had that whole ass post about how creepy Micolash grew about themes of menstruation and birth and female organism in general#and like it scared myself so much that I legit had bone-chilling fear after reading my own shit that night fdshfhds#meanwhile trans Micolash would 10000% lack genital dysphoria and only want things like his former voice or breasts gone#the deeper you dig into bb lore the more you realize men of this setting tend to be really weird towards womanhood and all attached to it#it is just something I dislike to address because toxic fans tend to use it to bully Gehrman fans and tell cis men that BB is 'not for them#but it IS there too so#WHY I AM TAKING NORMAL ASS ASKS TOO FAR#no but when will it end? lol
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Apocalypse AU. Right
Usually they’re in the middle of the ruins of one of the cities. So there’s like buildings and still some signs of civilization at least, and while it’s all dead and empty it’s still there. And they aren’t exactly sure whether that’s worse or better because it really is just a reminder of what was but it’s still there at least. They can still know it existed to begin with
But then like. Maybe one day they stray a bit far and end up at the edges of the bit of the city that got it the worst. And it’s just this flat expansive field of debris and mud and just. Nothing. Everything was just flattened by the bombs and anything living has long since died. There isn’t even any graffiti on any of the few, toppled over crumbling walls. Like it’s just this wasteland of civilization. And it’s all so colorless and dead. And dauntingly large.
And Cross and Killer just kinda. Stand on the edges. Staring out all everything. And of course they’ve seen places where it’s like this before, they’ve seen how dead the cities got. But for some reason this one part is just so vast and devastating. It hits them different
And so they just kinda stand there, looking out at it all. And it doesn’t exactly hit them right then, just then, per se, but it really just emphasizes to fact that everything is so unsalvageable here now.
They don’t even step forward to it. They don’t go looking for anything of value right away, like they would when they’re out scavenging like this. They linger. And they don’t say anything. They don’t look at each other. But they know. They know they’re both torn to fucking pieces. Their expressions don’t even change. They just stare. At where everything’s just gone
A whole good several miles of city. Whole buildings. Lives of people that once occupied that area before the bombs came. Lives of plants, of animals. Everything for almost as far as they could see. All because of those fucking bombs. And they’re remembered of that, too. That it was the bombs that did it.
And as they stand there they slowly interlock hands tightly
Anyway yeah I am. Unsure where this came from baha really just rambling here my bad heehoo
#so many of my ideas for this AU are visual damn#really starting to realize that I have art aus and written aus and that this is definitely one of the former LMAO#Cause I have not had much in terms of written ideas. But hey there’s this#apocalyptic Kross AU#Armageddon rambles woah#The aka has just been like sitting in the back of my brain really obnoxiously /pos#like it’s There
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once my anti depressants kick in (could be like a month) (and hopefully this prescription works for me) my sapphic elucien f1 au is soooo gonna get written
I have so many ideas and there’s so much content leading up to this weekends grand prix in miami that I have so many ideas
#screaming to the void of the internet#but like fem Lucien will be an f1 driver and elain is one of the teams social media admins#and like ugh i have so many ideas#still trying to come up with some fun team names for this au#but like obvi tamlin is the team principal of Lucien’s former team she drove for#and like I think cassian would be like a wec driver#azriel is Lucien’s teammate on her new team for the drama ✨#anyways it’ll be so cute and hopefully not angsty#elucien#bestie already had to listen to so much of this already even though she doesn’t even like f1#so thank you bestie for indulging me
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Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...
I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)
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SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?
(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)
Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?
#I guess I just feel weird about investing too much into characters if possibly nobody will like them. so the idea of being able to sample#around a wider variety opens up the option of like 'hey even if neither of these 4 are your favorite - you have 3 other options soon too!'#or whatever. BUT I also am very anti-the trend of releasing half finished games or shit like that where people preorder and then#the game sucks on actual release and isn't fully playable or good until 5 updates later#HOWEVER.. those are giant companies with hundreds of employees and millions in funding. I feel like it's different for someone#if they're just like ''hey I am getting zero money for this and doing it entirely on my own in my free time and before I do like 50+ hours#of work on top of the 100+ hours of work that I already did - I would like maybe to at least see some proof#people are interested in this - so I'm releasing the game with like a small amount of the originally intended content removed#that I still have planned out and hope to add later and the game is still entirely done and completely functional#except for just a few quests I might add later.. sorry'' etc. etc. ??? like I think that's different. but maybe some people dont see#it that way and would still be like 'grrr.. how dare there be unfinished options..>:V" idk#And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests#are leading up to some dramatic thing and having them half done would make it feel like a cliffhanger. It's meant to be very casual just#chilling and doing little tasks and such. And last thing to clarify I guess - by 'side character' I don't mean taking some unimportant bac#ground character and forcing them to have quests. I mean like.. originally the game had 8 full characters and I thought that was#too much so I cut it down to 5. So I still had everything planned for all the side characters too. Id' just be like.. re-giving them#quests and focuses that were already planned from the beginning but that I got rid of.. former main characters banished to the side lol..#ANYWAY... hrmm... hard to decide... It's just so niche I think. I feel more and more like I should just get it to a 'proof#of concept' state and get it out there to interest check rather than invest in it soooo much for nothing. Because I really do not have the#tastes other people do or interact with games or have interest in things in the same way. A lot of the stuff that I love (slow. character#focused things with basicaly no action or plot where its' just about getting to explore a world and learn about#people in a casual low stakes setting but ALSO not romance) I think people find very boring so... lol...#This year as I try to pick the project back up again after abandoning it for like 3 years I keep looking at stuff and going.. ough...#yeah... cut this maybe.. I should cut that too.. I should make them a side character.. remove this.. blah blah..#Though I did ADD a journal and inventory system and other things that like People Expect Games To Have so.. maybe#that will count for something.. hey..you can collect items.. it's not just 'talking to elves for 600 hours simulator'.. are you#entertained yet? lol.... When I was making my other tiny game for that pet website and I gave it to the play testers and someone was like#''it should have achievements so I feel I'm working towards something concrete'' I was literally so blindsided like..??... people WANT that#in games..? is the goal not simply to wander aimlessly &fixate on world/character lore& make your own silly pointless personal goals? I did#do them though because it IS fun to make up little achievement names and such but.. i fear i am out of touch so bad lol..
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gonna be a hater in tags real quick
#i need to get this off my fuckin chest its haunted me for ages but for some reason rn its bad#i fucking HATE when ppl act like la’s koholin island and ph’s world of the ocean king are/work the same#HATE IT. also hate ppl treating oshus n the wind fish as the same character bc i think its fucking lazy n uncreative n unimaginative#and makes the loz world feel so much smaller. but like. why do ppl act like the world of the ocean king is another dream world#bc its fucking no??? no one in that place is a dream construct i hate ppl acting like linebeck isnt a ‘real person’ just a former dream#construct if they think hes from that world bc its not a fucking dream world its a real ass world at no point is it suggested that its a#dream world just that link n tetra are simultaneously dreaming in their own world that doesnt make oshuss world fake or w/e#its just a different parallel world or some shit where time flows different relative to the great sea go watch the ending dialogue#literally nothing in the game suggests that its in any way like how koholint works besides it being an ocean place#i feel like i see these ideas in l////u shit a lot (ESP ppl acting like linebeck is the same thing as marin) and it feels like. do ppl in#l////u just not look into the games too hard do they not double check canon material or do they just accept shit parroted around#bc its way too consistent for me to think its just some headcanon thing and it PISSES me rhe fuck off if im being real#the oshus/wind fish thing is annoying as fuck already but i DESPISE ppl acting like oshus’ world is a dream its so fucking annoying#whatever ph is harder to play like look up gameplay then. do some research. its not the same fucking thing#ok yeah do hcs sure but i really dont get the vibe that its just some headcanon i feel like ppl just dont know theyre not the fucking same#its not like koholint its more like fucking lorule if anything. god fucking dammit i hate that im so wound up by this shit#whatever. i do wish ao3 let you mute wholeass tags like with authors so i dont have to see l///u shit ever
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had a day that made me think oh that was a bit heavy on the symbolism, wasn't it
#j. talks#went to visit my brother in his uni city and also connected it with an event there#I know this event because I went there once with a uni course that of course was with my fave former prof#so I know she's usually there but it's a bigger city and Friday and there are a lot of things at different locations#chances are not zero but I thought come on if anything it will be casual running into her#well as I was waiting with my brother and a whole crowd of people to be let in who do I hea#and see :))) yeah it's my fave prof. and I told my brother and he told me to go and say hi but there were so many people already talking to#her and also going there and saying hi so I simply couldn't. I literally froze our shoulders were nearly touching but she wasn't even facin#me and taking and I just followed my brother and he was like???#what was that?? and I didn't know. and he asked my why I looked so shameful out of all the emotions I chose shame#and I don't know. I don't know why shame I consuming me no matter where I go. but she was busy and imagine I go up and she has no idea who#am anymore. they had to burry me right there and then. so that was that :) now#the name of that street of the location burned into my memory as I was facing the wall well it's the name of [redacted] who I never really#get over and it's been 10 years now soon. and we had a similar experience in December :) where I would have loved nothing more really than#to talk (in Decembar definitely also other things that I miss on some days very much) but I barely got a wave#so yeah :) I actually had a great day but I am more than overwhelmed. I feel like crying and hiding#taurus season is apparently not here to save me? idk#is this all about wasted potential and shame stopping me? maybe. but how the fuck do I get it out of me
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it's so hard to portray bullying tbh because it's such a complex thing. like you have to make the bullies three dimensional but you can't make them too sympathetic or it takes away from their cruelty. oh wow post cancelled remember when people said bully x victim enemies to lovers glorifies abuse?
#(grinning) I dated my irl bully and it was uneventful lol#apart from giving me like a superiority complex#to be fair it was already former bully turned friend beforehand which is strange enough in and of itself#also not my worst bully but definitely someone whose face I remember in some dark memories of 5th grade#my kbjectivelz worst bully didn't even affect me that much bc he was quite obviously also just obsessed with me#he would frequently @ me in the class group chat just to force me to talk to him for no reason#would pick fights with me and enjoy when I fought back#and once completely stopped dead in his tracks and comforted me when he was gonna insult me and I started crying and said#that my hamster died the previous night (truth)#it was so funny still no idea what's up with him? he left my school a few years before graduation and every time I'd see him in public#he'd still call out my name..It's just funny because I was mostly invisible to most of my classmates. A small nuisance at the worst to the#but he acted like I was the center of his school life loool so in love
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