#as if this whole thing wasnt already
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I find it frustrating how being a gnc and gay makes it hard to talk about my experiences as a trans person.
Both because the experiences themselves are so different from the norm. And because, if i try to talk about transphobia I face there's this underlying idea that because im a feminine trans man, I deserve it or at least could avoid it by being less feminine.
And there really is no way to win because if I'm feminine, then I'm not really a man (or not trying hard enough to be one) but if im masculine then I'm not queer enough and get shit from within the community for that too.
And I cant relate to the average trans masc experience (tm) because my (lesbian) mother's idea is that I should be a butch lesbian instead of a fem gay man so the lack of acceptance from them comes in the form of barring me from wearing makeup or "flashy" clothes, as opposed to the more typical enforced femininity.
How much of myself am I expected to give up? And more importantly, why is that expectation coming from other queer people, people who should know better?
#transandrophobia#transmasc#trans man#it just makes it hurt that much more that other queer people#and even other trans people#are pulling the same shit#and on a personal note#as if this whole thing wasnt already#it really sets a grim tone for the future#the entirety of my twenties has been a constant cycle of 'youre not gay because youre trans and therefore not really a man'#'but youre not really trans because youre too feminine'#'but youre not really queer because youre too masculine'#so at what point do i just fucking give up#and what part of myself#do i give up the makeup and fun clothes that makes me feel good about myself give up my femininity to 'be a man'?#do i give up my transition and my manhood and 'just be nonbinary' like so many people have told me to in order to be a 'good queer'#or do i just give up on friends love and community and just keep to myself?#its not like i can change the way i was born so theres no future in which i get to live as a gay man#it just all feels useless#it is useless#op
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time to make your choice only you can be the one
#undescribed#bonk.png#ggg#great god grove#great god grove spoilers#ggg spoilers#<- bc of king n hand gesturing stuff for the au this one gets the spoiler tag#caption is a line from legend of everfree from eg movie of the same name bc its now linked to ggg for me bc of brainrot#first au stuff i dont like have anything really planned out n also dont really plan on doing anything with this beyond doodles#settled on inspekta being a horse bc i want him capochin patty n king to all be earth ponies bc of like permanent having it ingrained from#being an mlp fan as a kid that earth ponies are seen as less special bc they cant use magic or fly n that fits for story similarities#bc inspekta n capochin hating on patty for projection reasons AND inspekta's replacement anxiety n envy of king who in the au#is the only other earth pony lined up to become an alicorn (bc again being specifically an fim fan since i was a kid ingrained in with fanon#that ponies that become alicorns are almost exclusively pegasus or unicorn bc of earth ponies not having as clear of a connection to magic)#in my mind patty is the main character like the bizzyboys are also main characters but its like how the mane six are the main six but#twilight is the MAIN main character its like that n then godpoke is her sidekick (like spike ig but like mysterious stranger style <- idk#what i mean by this) she gets to be the protag bc the type of character godpoke is in the game n how im fitting them to be in the au doesnt#really work for a protag role while patty can be more readily slotted into mlp protag shes the only bizzyboy who cares about solving in the#game (as shown in hobbyhoo) n i like her so she gets to be the protag v-v inspekta is still doing the whole like shit from the game just in#a different way bc of mlp related restrictions n tone differences. the episode where luna goes to nightmare night after being freshly reform#ed walked so milldread section could run however cobigail's deal does run closer to that episode that to the game counterpart but like witho#ut cob having been banished for a thousand years theres no rift in the au bc its. mlp so sort of vague direction is related to the tree of#harmony n like maybe thats how inspekta powers up for the two parter transformation. a thought i had for a workaround for how inspekta keeps#king isolated was maybe turning king to stone n hiding her in plain sight but while that would slide in mlp (they turn a child to stone in t#he series finale apparently??) it leaves a bad taste in my mouth from the ggg angle so probably gonna do something else#art comments both inspekta n cobigail's pony names are taken from ponies i already had inspekta's comes from a different mlpied thing#n cobigail's comes from a fankid (spelled like kandi corn tho bc fankid's a rave girlie) the rest of the gods get to keep their names aside#from maybe bauhauzzo (whos role is undecided) huzzle n click clack arent ponies bc i felt it suited them more huzzle gets to be discordesc#bc i think its fun if like this versions god of chaos wasnt evil BUT that angle is used as slander against huzzle by inspekta#n click clack's a breezy bc small n bratty (we will be ignoring that breezies are mortal if i remember right bc thats not relevant)
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the closer we get to arcanes finale the more worried i am bc so often .. if not always .. things i like end in a way that i dislike so much it ruins everything else for me
and im so worried they pull a 'this is a multiverse' thing bc then they can say every skin is somehow canon bc its all different universes you seeeeee and jayce went mad bc he lived through all of them or something, or force it to end in a way that makes the champions end up like they are in game- Vi is a shitty cop, Jinx is just heehoo craycray bc xyz etc
#ganondoodles talks#personal#arcane#sorry i cant help but be rather pessimistic#and i know with the skin universes its kinda a multiverse already but like#a multiverse and different AUs are a different thing for me#i cant imagine how they can make this all end in a satifying way with just three more episodes with so many questions still#like the thing with isha and vander only happens so jinx loses every bit of sanity she had left and Vi goes welp#time to be a shitty enforcer#and then singed takes warwick again and makes him full wolf like in game and theres no connection left anymore bc his memory is fully cooke#or some shit#i REALLY dont want to be pessimistic but uh .... it usually happens with whatever i like and it has scarred me a little#i dont even know whats up with mel either??? they did the whole black rose stuff but#thats pulling in so much lore from noxus ... HOW can they make sense of it in 3 episodes?????#unless they make it a shitty teaser for more to come or soemthing i guess??#.. in any case- whenever i tried to be optimistic and then got disappointed anyway it hit me way harder#so im just gonna go with expecting the worst i can imagine so theres hope left to be surprised in a good way#after all they did go with warwick in a way i really liked for act 2 that is ... though the end im meh about#not a fan of the weird hexcore bullcrap in general tbh#though i like victor ... he was so nice to warwick .. even though i wish he wasnt a cult leader now lmao
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lil thing from my fic TRY IT AGAIN, CHEATER! nothing to see here just fantasizing about normal things
(Reblogs are VERY appreciated!! <3)
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#my art#isat#in stars and time#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#two hat spoilers#isat spoilers#tiac posting#blood#gore#cannibalism#sloop#<- kinda? a little. depends on how you interpret the metaphors happening here#fun fact i. colored each tile individually. also drew the whole bathroom and cropped it at the end#wasnt as tedious as i expected! p nice actually! might do more backgrounds in the future#i really like the vibe of this one :) theres some little things id change but eh. i already put on all the filters#siffrin isat#loop isat#isat siffrin#isat loop
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"omg homophobia :( the lesbian ship i want to kiss didn't kiss in an episode that was obviously going to be the backstory of another main character :( hes EXPLICITLY gay in a MARVEL DISNEY+ show and kisses his boyfriend but its still so homophobic :( the episode wasn't straight out of my headcannon so i hate it :("
do you know how dumb u sound rn
#like i want agatha and rio to kiss as much as the next gal#but this was so obviously going to be a billy-centric epsiode#which advanced the plot which is literally the point of every single episode???#random agathario makeout session would make NO SENSE here bc there was such a massive reveal at the end of last episode#so they have to go back and explain it#also#sorry to rant and sorry to be so angry lol#ive seen people saying how they already knew about billy from leaks and theories and comics so this ep was dumb and unnecessary#but i watch this show with my mum she has none of that context#she forgot what happened in last weeks episode#like#not everyone is on tumblr fighting for their lesbian witches#there are casual viewers who arent watching breakdowns and reading theories#so this episode was needed#it wasnt out of place#it would have been way weirder to not develop the whole billy thing and just keep going with the trials#that isnt how tv shows work#especially marvel shows that are part of a wider universe and cant just stand alone#GRRR IM GETTING ANGRY#i havent engaged like this with marvel for years#but smth about the way certain people are acting... its not quite sitting right#thats all lol#agatha all along#agathario#agatha spoilers#billy maximoff#billy kaplan
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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can i tell you that i'm empty?
#severance#severance spoilers#mark s#helena eagan#markhelena#ahahhahahhghj this show. oh my god. oh my god!!!#mark and helly had already gotten me so bad but this last ep broke my brain. they are doing m/f previously thought impossible on this show#I DIDNT LIKE WHO I WAS ON THE OUTSIDE. I WAS ASHAMED!!!!!!!#was talking about this on my twitter but helena eagan has extremely strong failchild energy to me. this is just speculation#but i got the impression from s1 that her being severed was both a last chance to like. prove her worth to her family and get in line-#and comparable to women that were lobotomized by their rich families in the 20th century. girl you are too strong willed-#and difficult to control so we are going to do this.#as if all of that wasnt backfiring enough now our girl is blowing the whole family operation because she just HAAAD to jump the bones-#of the first person to give [LITERALLY NOT EVEN HER] positive attention.#incredible. i need helly back like i need oxygen but they could NEVER make me hate you helena eagan.#i hope she keeps being her insane self and also more and more comical things keep happening to her. they should drop a piano on her next#anyway these tags are long enough as it is but crazy how well the lyrics to the song i linked match her... just for the record....#im thinking abt that album all the time bc its one of my favorites but the orange/black scenes from this ep sent me into overdrive#they have different colors of blood. they have power like you never could :-))#art tag
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On one hand, really funny that they straight up lied. On the other hand, pretty mean that they straight up lied. But on the third hand, I knew they were never doing HL2AIVR.
#i'm not that invested in hlaivr stuff i watched and enjoyed it years ago but was looking forward to today#i did feel disappointed when i skipped forward and realized “oh this is the whole thing ok”#like the gang knew they were flat out lying to people lol they knew they were hyping up the wrong crowd. rude as hell but funny too#but ya hlaivr was fun because it was spontaneous and everyone had shitty mics and it was improv until it wasnt#hard to do that again without like.#good thing i was rewatching bb clips right before this stream.#playing to the crowd#personal#delete later#i do feel like bb stuff is inherently less fun because there's already a huge established story with all the characters so this feels like#an rp au. versus hl where everyone was basically a blank slate to play off of. but hey that's probably intended. no more meow meows
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Shanks always said that if the path to what you want seems too easy, then you're on the wrong path.
#roronoa zoro#one piece#zolu#monkey d. luffy#oplaedit#it's about zoro drifting on the sea without a purpose to the point of letting the marines capture him. but still having that dream#and with luffy seeing a chance to actually accomplish that. by his side. and by the end of s1 they have a whole crew!#its about zoro being always lost but within a few days of knowing each other the directionless sense points him towards luffy.#its about zoro seeing how serious luffy is about his own dream. how stubborn and determined he is to become the pirate king no matter what#and how luffy and zoro knew each other only for a few hours/days but already understood so well what the other is about!!#like zoro knowing the garp thing wasn't that big of a deal if luffy didn't want to tell them at first#and luffy knowing enough about dreams to not discourage zoro from fighting mihawk. not standing in the way of his dream.#and how much it hurt luffy to think he wasnt a good captain.. but he had zoro! like in the early days -#it was just the two of them (even if more here but lets just say.. zoro was always the first. the anchor. the stability to luffy)#why am i emo about opla again#uhh captain and his first mate#one piece live action#mine#gif:one piece#gif:opla#opgraphics
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it just hit me that the movie is coming out next month imgonna throw upppppppp
#to be clear this isnt an excited post this is a scared post .#i feel kinda guilty about it with how excited i was about the first 2 movies#but i just cant be anymore paramount and the scu have disappointed me so much within the past year in so many ways ......#shadow is one of my favorite characters his lore makes me go crazy and is one of the things that pulled me into loving sonic so much#but i literally felt nothing while watching that trailer aside from confusion at some of the writing choices being made#like i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but why is sonic working with gun . wtf is gerald doing here . why are there no girls .#the only positives to me were things that were cool visually . which doesnt outweigh all the things that have annoyed/disappointed me#like who cares about another cool sonic and shadow fight scene we already have plenty of those .#Anyway. saw some of those new promotional images.#i swear to god if they actually start calling shadow+eggman+gerald team dark#like they suggested they might in that survey from a while back#im gonna become the joker for real#(insert the NO that is NOT solid snake image but it says team dark instead)#also maybe im taking the hedgehog games way too seriously here#but having gerald still be alive and present in some form feels like such a bad idea from a story perspective ... like .#for one shadow lost Everything in the gun raid having gerald still be here feels like its undermining that in a way#but also gerald's whole thing in sa2 is being long dead but still impacting the story despite that . why is he ALIVEEEE#and why is he here over rouge ???? do they just hate women or something#(before someone goes ''it would take too much time/money to animate another cgi character''#maybe the movies should have just been fully animated if that sort of thing was a concern . just saying)
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New Year's Greetings from Ze
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Dear People!
Behind me stands Mother Ukraine. Ukraine that stands firmly on its feet, does not bow its head, looks ahead, believes in its future and victory over all the evil that Russia has brought us. Ukraine that is capable of achieving a just peace – having a shield and a sword. Defending its people, its colors, its Independence. Today I address all those who value Ukraine, cherish their state, and lovingly call it “Mine.” I thank you for 2024. Our people who endure all difficulties with dignity. People for whom being citizens of Ukraine is a source of pride. And for me, it is a pride to be the President of such people – Ukrainians who prove that no cruise missile can defeat a nation that has wings.
Throughout this leap year, we have proven it every day. And we saw it yesterday. When we were uplifted with happiness because 189 Ukrainians returned from captivity to their native land. Because they will celebrate the New Year at home. Because we are bringing our people back. 1,358 people this year. 3,956 Ukrainians during this time. And I’m giving not estimates but precise numbers, because each one represents a person, our person, a very important person. And with each return – we bring life back to Ukraine.
And every time this happens, we all cry. It doesn’t matter if it’s a moved mother, or it’s a child who finally has their father back, or the President of Ukraine – we all cry because we are all human, and we have kept the light within us.
And it helped us endure through over 1,000 days. To be brave when it was needed most. To be strong when it was so vital. As did our teachers, our medics, our power engineers, our transport workers, as did all our air defense personnel, mobile fire groups. The guys who brought down 1,310 cruise and ballistic missiles this year, and 7800 Iranian “Shahed” drones. Bravo! We are proud! Thank you! We lived through this year together. We overcame everything 2024 brought together. Victories and setbacks. Joys and challenges. Tears of happiness when we succeeded. And tears of pain when our hearts were wounded.
July. Morning. Okhmatdyt. That’s how weaklings and cowards strike. And we will never forget those children’s eyes. We will never forgive them for this! When evil brings death, our response is a human chain. This is what the strength of Ukrainians looks like. And that unity of ours could be seen from space. God saw it. He saw what kind of people we have. What kind of children we have. And I will never forget those incredibly mature and strong eyes of the boy from Okhmatdyt. How much life is in him, energy and dignity! And how much stronger this child alone is than Putin! How much stronger all our children are than their entire evil. Ukrainian boys and girls who are winning this war, gaining knowledge online and even in underground schools, winning global science competitions, raising funds for our army, and inventing technological solutions that help with our defense. You are a phenomenal generation! This is who we are fighting for. This is who our heroes, our warriors, protect above all. Those who stand firm and carry Independence on their shoulders. Where freedom and valor fight every day – even now, on this New Year's night. On all our fronts. On all of them. In the east, where it’s extremely, extremely difficult and challenging right now. But we believe, we know: you will stand strong. Our guys will stand strong. Your spirit and courage will stand strong. All the things that helped you not to surrender our Sumy and Kharkiv, our Kherson and our Zaporizhzhia this year. And the Russians wanted it so badly. But instead – you paid the occupiers back, bringing the war back home to Russia. And the one who sowed evil on our land received it on their own. In the Kursk region and in other places where our response, our justice, came this year.
Justice. Just one word, but behind it stand hundreds of thousands of our people. Our defense industry and our science. Whose minds and work have made us stronger, because 30% of everything our guys had on the battlefield this year – all this was made in Ukraine.
And at one of these facilities, I asked a young engineer: "How did you manage to achieve so much? How were these people able to do all of this?" And the young man joked: "They're not just people, they're missiles."
And you know, at that moment, I felt ashamed as a citizen that since the 90s, the state hadn’t noticed such people of ours. And I am proud, when meeting them throughout the year I hear: they are happy to be needed by Ukraine. And that Ukraine is once again building its own, its own missiles. And for the first time, it produces over a million drones in a year. Forcing the enemy to learn Ukrainian. Palianytsia, Peklo, Ruta. Making them tremble at the words Neptune and Sapsan. All these are our missiles. Ukrainian. Hor, Vampire, Kolibri, Kamik, Liutyi, Heavy Shot, Firepoint. All these are our drones. Ukrainian. And all these are our arguments, the arguments for a just peace.
It is achieved only by the strong. And we have proven time and again that we are strong. Our athletes. Oleksandr Khyzhniak, our Tank. Olga Kharlan, Yaroslava Mahuchikh, all our Olympians and Paralympians, for whom we cheered, worried, and screamed with joy and pride when the blue and yellow flag was raised. We took the hits and fought back alongside Oleksandr Usyk. All of this is about something bigger than just sports. It’s about our character. It’s about who we are and what we are capable of. It’s about meanings and symbols. It’s about Sashko’s fights, like Ukraine’s daily battles, showing us: it doesn't matter how much bigger the enemy is compared to you, what matters is how much bigger your will is. Then it takes the breath away of the whole world! And all the leaders told me frankly: "We've never seen anything like this – when a full hall of Notre-Dame de Paris is applauding." And those were applause for you. For all our people. This is what respect for Ukraine sounds like. This is what Independence is.
It’s when we don’t give up what’s ours. And when we don’t forget our people. Those who are in captivity. And we will fight for every person who, unfortunately, is still there. And we will fight for all those whom Russia has forced into occupation; but couldn’t occupy their Ukrainian hearts. And no matter how many passports evil hands out at gunpoint, our people say: "You are not our kin, you are temporary." And all those imposed weeds will not take root on our land, will not defeat the natives. I always recall the story about one of our Ukrainian elderly men, whom the occupiers asked: "What time is it?" And he answered: "Time to get off our land." This is what the inner will is, which simply cannot be occupied. And I turn to all those who carry this will in their hearts on the temporarily occupied territories. Dear Ukrainians! I know you are celebrating the New Year according to our time, and now you hear these words. In our Crimea, in Donbas, in Melitopol, in Mariupol – everywhere where Ukraine is awaited. And where, one day, Ukraine will return to be together. And the only thing that will divide Ukrainians is a generously laid table.
I know that all our people will be at this table. Those who are now abroad but have kept Ukraine in their hearts. So today, in the first minute of the New Year, in Warsaw, New York, or Buenos Aires, "Shche ne vmerla…" will sound. In Berlin, Prague or Tokyo, people will say today: “Glory to Ukraine!” And the world will respond: “Glory to the Heroes!” Because Ukraine is not alone. Because we have our friends with us. Since the first minutes of this war, America has stood with Ukraine. I believe that America will also stand with Ukraine in the first minutes of peace.
I remember my conversation with Joe Biden after the Russian invasion. I remember my conversation with Donald Trump after he was elected. All the conversations with Congressmen, Senators, ordinary Americans, with all those who support us in the US, in Europe, and around the world – in those many and varied conversations, there was always unity on the main point: Putin cannot win. Ukraine will prevail.
I thank all Americans for proving these words with deeds. I have no doubt that the new American President is willing and capable of achieving peace and ending Putin’s aggression. He understands that the first is impossible without the second. Because this is not a street fight where you have to calm down both sides. This is the full-scale aggression of a mad state against a civilized one. And I believe that we, together with the United States, are capable of exerting that force. Of compelling Russia into a just peace. That means not forgetting, and not erasing everything Russia has done. Bucha, Olenivka, Avdiivka, all our destroyed towns and villages. This is why a truly just peace cannot be based on the principle of “let’s start with a clean slate.” Because the score is not 0:0. The score is thousands, thousands of Ukrainians whose lives Russia has stolen.
And today, the heart of Ukraine is covered with scars. These are the names of our fallen heroes. May God protect every family in the world from experiencing such losses. I would not wish any leader in the world to experience these feelings – the moment you hand over awards posthumously. You see the eyes of a mother, a wife, or a child of a warrior who gave their life for Ukraine, and you hear them say: "Please, let it all not be in vain." Thousands of our guys and girls have not faded into oblivion. They are with us, they are by our side, always, they are watching over us from the heavens. And we have no right to let them down, and we cannot betray their feat and memory.
And every day in the coming year, I, and all of us, must fight for a Ukraine that is strong enough. Because only such a Ukraine is respected and heard. Both on the battlefield and at the negotiating table.
I thank everyone who has stood by us this year. Our partners, allies, friends, leaders. Leaders indeed, not because it is customary to call them that, but because they prove their leadership by their actions. Those who were not afraid to come to Ukraine, knowing how valuable it is to see us standing shoulder to shoulder. With whom, despite the distance and time difference, we worked together, found solutions and achieved results. Patriots, IRIS-Ts, NASAMS and ATACMS systems, F-16s, SCALPs, Storm Shadows. The Czech initiative and a million shells. The Danish model and hundreds of millions in our domestic production. 27 security agreements and 40 billion to support our army. The European Union and 50 billion to support our economy. The G7 and the decision on 50 billion dollars of frozen Russian assets. This is our great international work. This is our great international victory. I thank our partners, thank you for this; I thank our team. The Army, the Government, the Office, the Parliament, the regions, the communities, the volunteers. All those who strengthen our country from within and care about people.
I thank everyone thanks to whom Ukraine is standing and will stand. It will overcome its path to peace, to a strong Ukraine. And to a European Ukraine. And these are not just words, but a reality that began this June with the opening of negotiations on Ukraine's accession to the EU. And this is a historic result. And this path is irreversible. And Ukraine will be in the European Union. And one day Ukraine will be in NATO and will strengthen the Alliance. It will strengthen the stability of the world. The unity of Europe, which determines the destiny of every nation on the continent. And this unity must be respected by all. By both Budapest and Bratislava. I know the Hungarian and Slovak peoples are actually with us, with Ukraine, with Ukrainians, on the side of truth. The authorities of these countries should also acknowledge the truth. There is no need to be afraid of Ukraine being in Europe. We must do everything to prevent Russia from being in Europe. Its tanks, its missiles, and the evil it will surely spread further if Ukraine does not withstand. If Russia shakes your hand today, it does not mean that tomorrow, it will not start killing you with the same hand. Because Russians are afraid of the free people. Of what they are not familiar with. They are afraid of freedom. They were born under Putin, went to school under Putin, joined the army under Putin and are dying for his sick ideas.
And that is why it is so crucial today to support all peoples who defend freedom. Those who refuse to give it up in Chișinău. Those who are fighting for their future in Tbilisi. And I am sure that the day will come when we will all say: "Long Live Belarus!"
Dear Ukrainians!
May 2025 be our year. The year of Ukraine. We know that peace will not be given to us as a gift. But we will do everything to stop Russia and end the war. This is what each of us wishes for.
Behind all of us stands Mother Ukraine. And she deserves to live in peace. I wish this to all of us. And as the President of Ukraine, as well as a citizen, I will do everything to achieve it in the coming year. Knowing that I will not be alone. I know that you stand shoulder to shoulder with me – millions of Ukrainians. Strong. Free. Beautiful. Independent.
Happy New Year, dear people!
Happy New Year, Ukraine!
Glory to Ukraine!
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#ufffff#UFFFFFFF#i didnt expect his new year greetings to be THAT emotional#and personal#very very VERY touching speech#and so many great parts and quotes#i also wasnt prepared for ze looking like he might cry every moment (and sounded like)#and despite it being so emotional it felt a bit more hopeful than last year#i wouldnt say optimistic but definitely hopeful#the few persona notes in it really hit me#no matter if the “i cry too about our returns” or the being proud to be the president part#or the last part - as president and civilian doing everything#like he isnt already doing everything possible and impossible to bring this war to an end with a just peace#of course a lot of praise and admiration and cheers belong to the brave people of ukraine for all kind of achievements#but a lot of things ze mentioned in his speech did only happen because of him#and he deserves way more credit for it#even though he would never give himself the credit and would always direct it to the other people#and yeah sure he has a team who works with him#but its also him and his face and strength and endurance#i hope one day he will be able to look back at this and feel that he did enough#that he did everything#that he can be proud and happy and doesnt have to doubt himself or chases impossible high standards#on another note#the part with USA was brilliantly played#in general they do lot of right steps at the moment when it comes to trump & US this whole situation might play out in favor for themselves#and on another side note#the picture is amazing#Youtube
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;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - General Headcanons
Compilation of headcanons and analysis on Forget Me Not as a character and other related things.
this post was brought to you by me, procrastinating on the second part of the Cover analysis and those yandere Pavia headcanons, and ALSO because mister lawrence cavendish jr is the second target for my brainrot
warning for suicide and self-harm themes!
On the subject of Forget Me Not's name and past.
It's Lawrence Cavendish Jr. Forget Me Not's real name is confirmed to be just that, as seen in this specific excerpt:
"Cavendish Jr, who was still alive and once sat in front of you [...]" which alludes to the dinner Vertin had at the Walden with Druvis III and Forget Me Not, and "'Forget Me Not', what a hilarious, stupid name". I only included this because I've seen people wonder about it.
What I mean to tackle in this point is the relationship between Forget Me Not, his origins and his current chosen name. Despite his calm and collected appearance, it becomes clear that Forget Me Not is one hair away from becoming entirely deranged, especially when confronted with the possibility of getting revenge. But why is Forget Me Not so focused on revenge specifically?
His backstory is not as openly laid out for us to read, but we can gleam some bits and pieces from all the documents and dialogue he has. To understand Forget Me Not, we also need to look at Druvis III.
All throughout chapter 02, we see parallels and connections being drawn between Forget Me Not and Druvis III - both of them appear to be extremely aloof, cold and collected, only to be revealed to be very emotional deep down, for better and for worse. Druvis III is initially defined by the neutrality and inertia that comes with being stuck in the past, while Forget Me Not is initially defined by the neutrality of the Walden and his ties with Manus Vindictae, an organization that rejects the future.
Druvis III is a disgraced, fallen noble whose life wasn't ruined by the fire that took her family, but the perception the world had of her, an image they forced onto her due to their hatred towards arcanists. And Forget Me Not has a family surname "buried in the dust, shot dead in history". A disgraced, fallen noble implied to have struggled with poverty, battling hunger and suicide countless of times. In the "··· Formula: 1920s" document, we can see a few pieces from various people and their opinions on Forget Me Not from the Big Mouth Bulletin. 3 out of 4 want him dead or think of him as a monster - entirely because of his existence as an arcanist.
The similarities are obvious. Hell, both share the theme of flora and plants, too. There is an even more subtle dynamic here too, alluding to the game's prominent religious imagery - Vertin's suitcase being compared to an ark that will brave the "Storm", the last supper moment, Arcana's offering, the orange, being a replacement for the apple of Eden...
And then, Forget Me Not association with snakes, rumoured to have a body covered in scales, with an arcanum skill that allows people to indulge in alcohol during the Prohibition Era - the snake that tempted Adam and Eve. Druvis III is associated with forests, trees, as well as a link between Vertin (the good guys) and Manus Vindictae (the bad guys) - the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The two go hand in hand and are linked together.
The big difference between them is that their respective quests to set things "right" are entirely different - their "revenge" is not the same. Druvis III was hellbent on finding out who set the fire that killed her family, not because she wanted them to face the consequences, but because in doing so, people would finally leave her alone and let her mourn. She could finally move on from something that she knew the truth of. Forget Me Not does it to feel satisfied with himself and get back at everyone who ever looked down on him or wronged him. To inflict as much as pain unto others as he had received before. It's a powerplay fantasy in which he finally wins, against all odds.
It's unclear what truly happened to the Cavendish that caused Forget Me Not to end up in such conditions, to the point where he'd go as far as make sure no one can trace him back to his family, to the point where not even the Foundation has a proper report on him.
But there is one line in particular that lives rent free in my head when it comes to the Cavendish and Forget Me Not's potential relationship with them.
This takes place after Druvis III loses her forest, after she loses her eternal branch because of Vertin's intervention during their dinner. They're talking about how to use her forest to build a refugee camp.
There's the possibility that Forget Me Not is simply alluding to that forest - something that used to belong to her is now something that he should have for the sake of Manus Vindictae's goals.
But! Indulge me for a second! There's a noticeable pause, there's a subtle tone to his voice. Reverse 1999's writing might be confusing at times due to the translation, but it's easy to see that it's loaded with metaphors, hidden meanings and so much more, to the point where reading deeply into everything most characters' say is pretty much the norm.
The dialogue that precedes that specific line is Forget Me Not insisting that he can transfer the ownership of the woods over to Druvis III anytime, because she has always been and will always be the only owner, no matter what. He does this to convince her to go through with Manus' plans, that's his main goal, he doesn't care about the woods. But that single line pictured above? It could mean so much more.
Again, the two share many, many similarities. So when Forget Me Not talks about what Druvis III once had - a prestigious family business, a name people can recognize, an assured future - is what he should have, it evokes a sense of entitlement and lingering resentment. Almost as if Forget Me Not's desire to go back to the past doesn't stem from nostalgia like her, but to reclaim something that was denied to him.
Which is incredibly ironic to me because both of them carried their family in their names - Druvis THE THIRD. Lawrence Cavendish JUNIOR. And yet, the one that worked so hard to obscure his origins and changed his family name was him.
Neither of these characters can be recognized nor traced back to their families by appearance alone - people need a name or a really good memory to truly recognize them. The only one with enough courage to continue carrying such burden is Druvis III. Forget Me Not wants something that he willingy lost the right to the moment he allowed Lawrence Cavendish Jr. to die and fade into obscurity.
The name "Forget Me Not" begins to sound more ironic. Like an order, a threat or the promise of his return - his desire for revenge and his hypocrisy become clear once you begin to dissect his character. Like the narrator in the "To Lawrence Cavendish" document says: "He is patiently waiting... to put his meanness, craziness and quivers under the sun". He's waiting to reveal himself.
The "stage" is shown when he makes people explode from inside out, a lot of people who recognized him as Forget Me Not, the mixologist. This is when we finally see his true intentions and the main difference between him and Druvis III, all in their respective reactions to the journalists.
She's terrified, thinking about the day of her family's funeral. On the other hand, he's ordering them to watch and record as he "takes everything he has been deprived of".
This is why the thing that breaks Forget Me Not is hearing that Druvis III does not care about the man who started the fire, that it's not important anymore. He believed them to be on the same page, that she would love to torture the single person responsible for all of her grief. The guy is projecting heavily onto Druvis III.
In the end, I don't know if Forget Me Not resents his father, his family name, if he had some sort of business to inherit and a "future" that was taken from him, or if they actually might've been a happy family.
What I do know is that Forget Me Not's desire for revenge was absolutely amplified and fueled by Manus Vindictae's own agenda. And that's why he works perfectly as both a victim of their MO and a willing member within their ranks.
He clings so hard to the past because there is no future worth fighting for, because everything would be much better if it was rebuilt from scratch with only those that won't oppose him and repeat history. He clings so hard that his new name and identity are, in the end, a plea for the world not to forget who he used to be and, at worst, an order because he sure as hell hasn't forgotten all the things others have done or said Back when Lawrence Cavendish Jr was around. Once his family outlived their usefulness or relevance within society.
TLDR: THIS is the cold-blooded, numb murderer who is actually very sad, empty and broken deep inside that some people wanted Pavia to be. Like, he's even sopping wet and sad and asking Vertin to kill him next time they meet.
Which leads us to my next point!
On the subject of Forget Me Not's self-destructive and suicidal mindset.
We've talked about Forget Me Not's views and relationship with the Cavendish - but what exactly is the end goal? He feels entitled to a better life, one he was supposed to have, and then what?
The "???" narrator mentions a woman who made a promise to Forget Me Not, as well as leaving a "sarcoma" behind which he then adapted and turned into his own. This woman is implied to be Arcana, as we see her talk to Vertin about being able to see the truth, to not be blinded - there's an emphasis in the way she recruits people by opening their eyes to reality. The sarcoma is the city (apparently "Windy City" is used to refer to Chicago, I had to google that but hey, that's pretty neat!). It's the world he lives in and that wants him gone. She focused Forget Me Not's grief towards it because in doing so, it would help Manus Vindictae's ideals of a world exclusively for pureblooded arcanists.
And even so, he remained suicidal. There was at least one more attempt at taking his own life, and that's when he saw "what had been on his mind". Whatever that might've been, no doubt influenced by Arcana and his situation, is what pushed Forget Me Not to "allow himself to revenge, revenge, re-re-re-revenge, and to die".
Ultimately, Forget Me Not's goal is to die at the end of it all - even after he gets his revenge, earns the life he wanted, takes back everything that was meant for him. This is why, after he's fully defeated, his last words to Vertin are to show no mercy next time they meet. To kill him.
This is not only a long and convoluted plan of revenge, it's Forget Me Not willingly marching into his own demise. And just like before, he's not strong enough to pull the trigger himself. Now that he has no solid argument to justify his anger - all because Druvis III has shown him that people can, in fact, move on - his only option is to have someone else end his life. He's shown tired, and the phrase "Don't save it no more" might indicate that even if there was someone who could repeat what Arcana did to him - give him a sense of purpose and a target for his grief - he simply doesn't have the energy for that.
Forget Me Not's self-destructive tendencies can also be seen in other ways. His job at The Walden is to cater to all the people who shunned him - he welcomes everyone and anyone for the sake of creating a network of secrets, he attends fancy parties and events full of those who call him a drug dealer, Satan's spawn and so much more. And he pretends to be someone else entirely while wishing for others to remember him. He willingly surrounds himself with all the things that hurt him.
His arcanum being related to alcohol is rather poetic to me - since Forget Me Not is said to have spiraled into decadence and into this extreme mindset, it makes sense that his main skill is related to being intoxicated and to drown into something that is largely hated but at the same time, desired and coveted. The Prohibition Era does have a very similar mentality to religion, namely western ideologies - you're meant to openly reject and loathe something, but the constant repression causes you to yearn for it instead. And at some point, this repression can become an addiction in itself, leading some to indulge in it. This loops back to Forget Me Not's association with the snake in the Garden of Eden.
It makes sense to me that he indulges in something so painful, while cohercing others into indulging in forbidden alcohol. That he later uses this very same arcane skill to kill all those people who, in his eyes, represent everything he loathes about the current state of the world. It's like a sarcoma that he now leaves behind, that kills from inside out.
And this is the last time I'll bring up Druvis III in a Forget Me Not post, but notice their choice of flower/plant? She has a mistletoe bouquet - a parasitic and toxic plant which represents positive things such as fertility, life and protection in many different cultures. Forget Me Not has black roses, roses being immediately recognized as one of the most beautiful flowers but, in this context, symbolizing things such as death and rebirth, remembrance, mourning. Their duality, contrast and the "two-faced" aspect is prominent there. And not to get very deep about character design, but Druvis III holds the bouquet very carefully and carries it around with her willingly, whereas the black roses that Forget Me Not wears wrap around his neck not unlike a noose.
To really drive home how Forget Me Not sees himself, here's the description they gave him for his boss fight.
They boil down his character perfectly, to all the little traits that make up his whole emotional baggage.
And to also put more emphasis on how Forget Me Not truly doesn't expect to live and "win" at the end of this whole revenge trip, here's his ultimate - "Heavengazing from Hell". He's fully aware that he's going to be destroyed by his own actions and that the only thing left for him will be to look up at heaven from hell. That all the good things will forever be out of his reach.
Now, onto proper headcanon territory, since I'm running out of media to analyze!
On the subject of Forget Me Not's scales.
As established before, Forget Me Not is associated with snakes - one of the segments from the Big Mouth Bulletin comments on this. "[...] he had scales under those long sleeves, one next to another embedded in his flesh."
And this can actually be seen on his in-game sprite! It's very faint, but there's absolutely some sort of texture peeking out from under his collar and sleeves that resemble scales. They can also be seen on the trailer animations. The only time these scales don't appear or peek out from his clothes are in The Walden illustration, with the other members of Manus Vindictae, but that can easily be explained as him covering up properly and the angle he's drawn in.
Originally I thought that they could be burn scars, as it would mean a stronger connection between him and Druvis III. But upon closer inspection, they don't look like burn scars at all.
I like to headcanon that it's a side-effect from his own arcanum, similar to how Rabies is implied to look like a scarecrow because of his involvement treating rabies. Being something "self-inflicted" - in the sense of him having the choice to stop and heal, but refuses to - also lines up with Forget Me Not's suicidal tendencies, the whole sarcoma metaphor and the fact that by carrying on like this, he's doing nothing but destroy himself and add to his suffering.
As for how far the scales have extended, I don't have a set favorite idea! Part of me really would love it if the scales coiled around his body like actual snakes, but also the idea of him having different patches of scales scattered throughout (again, like a sarcoma) and the third secret option of him being MOSTLY covered in them to the point where it becomes grotesque, something that he can't even look at.
They're not just a tattoo or pattern embedded onto his skin either - they're actual scales, cold and rough to the touch. The areas affected by this have grown numb, making it hard for Forget Me Not to feel any warmth or pressure applied onto them. This adds to that otherworldly and sinister vibe he's got going on, even if the lack of proper tactile sense irritates him. It's extremely uncomfortable if they're brushed or rubbed in the wrong direction, however!
Sometimes, Forget Me Not might pick at the scales, as if deciding whether he loves or hates them. In particularly bad days, he picks them out. I like the idea that, once picked, the scales grow faster and stronger, as well as in broader areas, making it a perpetual loop of picking them off from his skin.
Overall, it would be extremely easy to conceal them - he only needs a shirt with a higher collar and gloves or some make-up, but I like to think that Forget Me Not loves the idea of someone catching a glimpse of them, a reminder that he's dangerous and so much more than meets the eye.
As much as he he's been affected by the stigma against arcanists, he now thrives in their hatred for him and his existence - sneaking into places he knows he's not welcome is addictive, especially knowing everyone tolerates him because he's their only access to alcohol. The way everyone will turn around and talk shit about him once they're out of The Walden is fun, because it reinforces his views on why this current era deserves to be rebuilt from the ground up.
Forget Me Not has extremely poor eyesight.
I know the glasses look thin and pretty standard, but I just like to think that Forget Me Not can't see shit without them.
He has this habit of taking them off to "clean" them whenever he's talking with those he loathes - mostly humans - just so he doesn't have to look at them directly. Sometimes, he might just close his eyes and dissociate, pretending to pay attention if the situation calls for it. Yes, he's petty and hateful enough to feel physically sick when talking to people he hates.
If you pay enough attention, it becomes clear that eye contact becomes scarce, as if just looking at them will send him into a fit of rage (but he conceals it extremely well when needed).
Forget Me Not's poor eyesight is not a secret, and he often likes to make patrons nervous by making their drinks without his glasses - of course, he knows his way around drinks and potions, there's no chance of him messing up, he could do this with his eyes closed. But seeing customers squirm is such a delight. Because now, they must choose between making a scene in HIS territory or risk being poisoned with a poorly-made drink.
I like to think that he also just has a very fine ear, since he does play instruments (all of his attacks being related to music and him using a piano as his wand during the boss fight). So really, Forget Me Not couldn't care less about his eyesight.
Forget Me Not enjoys floral arrangement.
This is just based on his association with the actual forget me not flower. I think he enjoys creating bouquets or putting up vases full of flowers around his home, even if all of them may end up creating a very gloomy and decadent atmospere - they're perfect for funerals, and he simply may be preparing for his own.
And he leaves them out on display long after they've wilted. "They're more beautiful this way", he'd say.
It's not rare to find Forget Me Not on rainy afternoons with a pair of scissors on hand, absentmindedly cutting every leaf and petal off from all these roses, as if he had a personal vendetta against their colorful hues. Sometimes, he just twirls the stem around, pressing hard on the thorns to feel anything while he looks out the window. He's so very fucking dramatic and volatile.
Basically, I like to picture Forget Me Not as the type of person who has dedicated so much time into something as empty as revenge, that he absolutely has no idea what to do outside of that.
Everything he does is just a way to pass the time until he can go back to dedicate every waking second of his life into his and Manus Vindictae's plans, every "little pleasure" is just a façade, he doesn't get any real enjoyment from anything. Sometime he worries that revenge won't help him climb out of this apathetic life he's built for himself, but he can't afford to dwell too much on that possibility. Everything that he does is muscle memory, he's forcing himself to try and do it, because otherwise he could simply sit still in an empty room for hours on end, with the lights turned off, waiting and waiting - all alone with his thoughts.
#reverse 1999#reverse: 1999#r1999#r1999 headcanons#reverse 1999 forget me not#forget me not#playable forget me not WHEN bluepoch i NEED him#i like forget me not when hes like. deranged#when hes one hair away from hurting others or hurting himself because hes. in the most horrible mindset ever#like hes just looking for an excuse to blow up or blow up others (hehehehehe....get it....)#like sure hes so cool with the walden and his network of information and secrets#but hes still a cowardly snake who hides and needs to be revealed. bc he cant reveal himself willingly and openly on his own#its the loss of humanity again but whereas pavia rejects it. FMN just lives within it. he just masks SO well#'but you cant simp for any manus vindictae character! theyre explicitly racists!' and re1999 is a game that CHOSE to replace#actual racial issues in history with their magic ppl vs normal ppl plot line with many many parallels to struggles poc like me lived throug#and then chose to be like 'hey theyre actually physically different and its xenophobia on a whole different species hahaaa bye'#so like. fuckin chew on that first before coming for me. if we're already suspending our belief for the sake of playing:dont cherry pick#tackle the WHOLE thing the game chose to portray. not just a single group within the whole game#sorry if that was heated but lmfao i saw ppl already trying to dictate who ppl can and cannot simp for on twitter#as if this wasnt another fictional anime gacha game at the end of the day
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riot making arcane the main canon is honestly the stupidest and most unnecessary move, its taken alot of enjoyment from the show for me bc now instead of seeing it as a really well made fanfiction that i can just sit back and enjoy the reinterpretations of without worry i keep thinking how whatever they do is gonna fuck with canon and how much is retconned bc of it
they didnt even finish the other, waht 10 year old now?, retcon and now they are doing it again?? what for?? literally nothing is gained from forcing it all into arcanes interpretation- even if they want to bring more characters the show made up into the game you can do that without having to make the show the center of everything; i might have stopped playign the game but i still care about some of the characters and stories, the lore and worldbuilding is what i enjoyed most of any league stuff, all of which is now on thin ice (granted, it has been since they started to fire their writers, but now even the work they did might not even stay), it hurts to see things you loved being thrown into the garbage for no reason, whatever time i spent thinking and caring about it essentially wasted, deemed that what i cared about didnt matter at all (hhhh similarly so with totk, what is it with these things happening to the few things i ever liked ......)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#arcane#league of legends#never thoguht id use these tags again ...#anyway ... its annoying#and it has severly impacted my enjoyment of the show....#when it wasnt canon i found the whole arcane hexcore thing an interesting idea#now??? what is it? is gonna retcon mages as a whole? is that the new void? whatever it is its gonna fcuk with existing stuff#i stopped caring about zelda lore bc of totk and now i guess i need to let go of leagues world too#old skarner and his lore already got thrown out the window- i hate the new him and the complete removal of hextechs og source too#good thing i never got as much into lols lore as i did with zelda#still it feels like im losing every last bit of things i ever liked#'fuck canon and do your own thing' can only get you so far and im tired ... im so tired
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WAIT some osamu sato lost media was found & uploaded hold on a minute
youtube
OBSERVE COMPU MOVIE!!
(typical bright & flashing imagery warning!)
#NOT GONNA WATCH THIS WHOLE THING RIGHT NOW BUT SWAGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#original nonsense#im sure ive heard of compu movie at some point but i wasnt really aware of what it was. so i guess it was a music video vhs!#immediately its already so weird to see the osd logo in smooth vhs quality instead of the crunchy quality on eastern mind lol#Youtube
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Im super charmed whenever they include tsukasas corpse inside the freezer its so funny to me ... that man is not in cryostasis he is straight up dead
#Dr stone#i think its interesting actually that senku proposed cryonics because everyone knows its bullshit ... like i turn a blind eye to the scienc#in this series a lot but i think that was the most open use of pseudoscience without any sort of clarification whatsoever... i recall at th#end they might have said something like senku was mostly just preserving the body because he already theorised that de-petrification could#bring dead people to life as long as the body is intact <- or maybe i dreamt this up because i like the show so much that i fill in plot#holes by myself but you know... like on one hand senku did say he was going to kill tsukasa by freezing him but did he actually know to wha#extent... no he MUST have known !!!! He must have known this is one thing i wont budge on he literally must have known that resurrection wa#possible as long as they acquired the petrification tech because otherwise the whole point of that trip was null thats why he wasnt too#surprised when tsukasa told him that hyoga died and came back to life when he got petrified too ... like when he literally got torn to#shreds by a machine gun and stopped breathing and went cold and tsukasa was like oh shittt..... fingers crossed lol#but it would have been nice for senku to be like -_- i already knew .#anyway thats not the point look at tsukasa in the fridge o o
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im very normal about fuuta in general but i dont think im ever going to emotionally recover from his fire motif and what it represents for his character and how he reflects the greater theme of justice so that means i must rant about it
(more under the cut because this got longer than i expected whoopsies)
so anyway fire is pretty obviously supposed to be symbolic of his passion for justice right? that fire is all over the place in bring it on. he's wielding it to take down enemies, his signature weapon is a flaming sword. it's what he uses to lead the campaign against the people he's after, the people he's deemed in the wrong.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7a0f96079f0557487d7ba7b2a0a34981/ac18c24684a1434f-f9/s540x810/61e0c38e176bfb7cddb4665dfb74f7c90ed86230.jpg)
it's a fucking flaming sword, it's badass as hell!!!! it's what a hero of justice, a knight, would use!!!! it's cool as shit, it's his symbol of justice.
that's how he sees his justice in trial 1.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dfe6ccef6e106327e7320e7d56e82bee/ac18c24684a1434f-e2/s540x810/69524e373f364c44654c5ae8f0f3bfbad17084e7.jpg)
he's righteous, he wants so badly to believe he was a hero, he was doing it all for a good cause, for justice. his passion for justice was a tool he used to meet those ends, to be a hero, to wave it valiantly in the face of enemies.
the fire, however, is conspicuously absent once he's noticed the blood on his hands
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2b55d386740253cab73d9319dd671d47/ac18c24684a1434f-1d/s540x810/54a3b1a3af2b255ee79aea034a6845922d663119.jpg)
interestingly, despite backdraft as a song title being much more related to his fire motif than bring it on, fire is actually surprisingly absent from the mv's visuals. fire, as in actual orange burning fire, doesn't show up much at all in backdraft except for when both fuuta and his victim begin turning to ashes, and a short bit near the end right after the last chorus when the spraycan explodes in fuuta's face. you know what the mv does show a lot of though?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d3cd435944d90dac8270554ba5b2070b/ac18c24684a1434f-18/s540x810/43593f370b232bca472642b1bc959b237fd6b4bc.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a683ed3838971f87f0070939aead87b8/ac18c24684a1434f-3d/s540x810/75e87ca1d99b07d75eb71388e818af1b73d863b2.jpg)
smoke. and ash. the byproducts of a fire, the byproducts of fuuta's passion for justice.
bringing it back to firefighting for a moment: as many people have already pointed out, backdraft as a firefighting term refers to when a fire that has consumed all available oxygen suddenly explodes when more oxygen is made available, such as when a window or door breaks. the thing about fire hazards, though, is if the fire and the heat don't do someone in, usually it's the smoke. the smoke inhalation causes breathing difficulties and suffocation, making it even more difficult for a person to escape the fire.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d6ef089133c1f23b1ab7244fa336ea82/ac18c24684a1434f-d8/s540x810/b2f22dae99b9b0dcb3eabb9fe3dc1a4c72105b32.jpg)
in backdraft, instead of fire itself, what we're shown is these byproducts of a fire. the smoke is damaging to human health, and the ash shows that the fire has burned things up and caused destruction, in this case killing someone. all we're shown is the negative results of a fire, in sharp contrast to its badass, positive portrayal in bring it on.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2a0d6354db13bf3b216b97f14c09e4ed/ac18c24684a1434f-9d/s540x810/fdd314c2cac08364fe7673190dbace386e7c6806.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/880ccc103393b69bdf182a753ea3a80f/ac18c24684a1434f-47/s540x810/1e211ec0f7d93f1fb5d32f242fef50d7a326f524.jpg)
hell, even fuuta himself starts turning to ashes and the spraycan explodes in his face, showing how even he is experiencing the negative results of a fire that has gotten out of his control, how even he has gotten burned by his passion for justice. or, is it es' desire for justice?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c4695c3ac866edbfabfc552ed1fee59e/ac18c24684a1434f-14/s540x810/1a132577a94bc5dce60ec77735eb16c562952e83.jpg)
translation of fuuta's t2 vd by onigiriico
Me, too! I was like that, too! I also didn't think it'd turn out that way!
You and I are exactly the same breed! The only difference between us is the clothes we're wearing.
fuuta's justice and es' justice, it's all the same in his head now, he directly tells es that they're the same, that we're the same. it's all the same hunger for justice that ends up causing harm even if that wasn't the intention.
you know that saying that fire is a good servant but a bad master? i think that's pretty applicable to fuuta's situation. his passion for the pursuit of justice was great when it was still a tool, a sword he could wield, after all he did manage to shed light on some people's wrongs and bring them to justice. but once it exploded, when it became a backdraft that even he could no longer control, it did more damage than he intended.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/af606527d9b50fcbf7deef11a739c667/ac18c24684a1434f-d8/s540x810/47950a00f8d311db55c94e45f574a7165b13b2fd.jpg)
it burned even him, it killed a middle schooler. and he recognizes that in backdraft. he only shows us the ways fire that becomes a hazard can go wrong.
translation of fuuta's t2 vd by onigiriico
What did I do? All I did was say that what's wrong is wrong! I was just going off at a bad person online!
I didn't think they would die! I just thought that wrong things are wrong, and that a crime is a crime! You get that, don't you? See? Aren't we the same?
it's just. fire is such a good metaphor for the message of fuuta's character and his arc. it's an amazing illustration of how dangerous it is when you feed a desire for justice too much, when you forget to put a boundary on how you handle that fire. eventually the fire spreads just like how passion for justice becomes zealotry, until more and more things fall under what you consider to be 'punishable' by your standards and goes out of control to hurt people that probably didn't deserve it. it's a warning to set proper boundaries on our own definition and desire for justice and what's 'right' so the good intentions doesn't spiral into harm. it's a reflection of our attitudes towards milgram as the audience responsible for their justice and forgiveness. it's amazing i love it i love fuuta's fire symbolism i love fuuta's character arc and i love milgram's writing so so so much
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#im sure someone has already gone through every point in this post before but i was having fuuta thoughts and they needed to go somewhere#this might be super disorganized this is essentially the first draft and i kinda just word vomited lol#anyways i love milgram i love picking it apart for its themes#tangentially i might do another whole thing comparing fuuta to kotoko but hm not sure if i can add much to that discussion#maybe after deep cover comes out#i actually really like kotoko for similar reasons to fuuta actually she's an interesting case study of a desire for justice that corrupts#anyways sorry this wasnt that deep an analysis or anything i mean i didnt even pull up images it's a glorified rant more than anything lol#hm might edit this post to add images tomorrow ill see if i remember
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